So my ex husband has been out of work basically since 2017. Hes held a few small jobs here and there but never for very long. In 2020 he left a job due to the pandemic and I agreed. We separated a little while later for other reasons. For the passed year and some change I’ve been helping him with bills and such since our kids stay with him full time and I only have them a couple days a week. He recently got a great paying job and last night was Night 2 of training and he’s basically wanting to quit already. I am at such a loss as to what to do. Do I continue to support him and helping with bills not able to really move on myself or do I put my foot down and tell him ill only pay child support from now on?
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If he has the kids full time you are technically helping your kids
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Depends on the reason for not continuing. Is it too strenuous for his body? Is he just being lazy? People train but don’t continue for numerous reasons.
No. You don’t. You go back to being a full time parent till he can get it together. He will never get motivated when someone else is paying his stuff
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It depends on the situation however it appears he doesn’t want to work because that means he is not with the kids so which means he would have to pay child support. Just pay for the kids. Make sure it’s documented. If he can’t support the kids then you need to go back to court.
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You’re not obligated to helped with his bills. Just pay the child support and let him learn. Can I ask why he has them full time and you dont
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He can’t even pect you to pay his bills until they are grown but then again if he can’t provide the kids what they need he shouldn’t have them so he can make you feel guilty to pay for him. I’d call child support or take my kids back
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Why keep supporting someone that won’t support themselves. No wonder he won’t work cause you enable him not to. He knows you’ll support him. Not sure why he has the kids full time and you don’t. Because you work and he doesn’t? I’d be getting my kids back and only letting him have them a few days a week.
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You know… I’d tread lightly if I were you. He can easily take you to court and have a legal order for alimony and child support put in place. Especially since it would take nothing for him to prove that you are the breadwinner and that he didn’t work during the marriage. 
Women do it to men all the time.
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If you’re supporting the kids, why don’t you have them full-time? There’s no way I’m going to support a man I’m not with (or with for that matter)while he sits on his ass!!! Go to court, get your kids and let him do what he wants.
Your not obligated to pay his bills just send him child support it’s the only way he will learn
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Depends. Do you want to pay his bills and yours forever? If child support is less than it costs you to “help him” then do that. Don’t enable him to continue to not have a job. He can have his cake, eat it, and ask for more. And you give it to him because you feel guilty for whatever reason? End it, now. Before you’re on the hook for more than just the kids.
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you’ve given him enough time…just pay child support
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You guys are ignoring that this isn’t just about child support. She can easily end up having to pay him alimony. 
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You need to start putting the memo on however you give him money as child support. Otherwise he can file child support on you and they’ll also go for back pay. You need to keep a record of everything. You’re not helping him. You’re helping take care of your kids, which you’re supposed to do.
If its not through court don’t support him at all. Its not your job make him grow up and keep a job
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… just pay child support. You’re not paying him alimony, you’re paying for your kids.
Only pay child support
Get your kids from him? His situation financially is unstable and continuing to enable him will hurt you and your kids…
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Take your kids and stop paying his damn bills
Why don’t you hv your children full time? Let him quit work, take him to court and h. Ur kids full time. He needs to man up and work. I wouldn’t be paying his way, i would be taking my kids full time, would hv from start. Must be a reason he has them and not you?
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Stop enabling him. Draw the line at child support.
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You’re enabling him and he knows he’s using you.
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In these Days i am making easily more than $500 for working online. i just received my 4th payment of previous month of $18640. i was surprised when one of my close friend told me she was making $18654 per month but now i see how it works.
Info Here… https://jobprofit24.surge.sh
Why would u pay your exes bills? Make him get out and keep a dam job! Ur not obligated to support a grown ass man, your responsibility is ur children and ur self only!!!and go for full custody for your kids he’s clearly unstable!
Smh child support only.
Girl you need to close the pocket book. Why should he work when he knows he has you paying.
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Are you actually divorced or just calling him your exhusband? if your divorced what is set up through the courts. IF your NOT stop immediatley your setting a presidence for support and alimony… There are alot of questions here
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Take ur kids back look into child care n let him learn to be a man
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They are divorced. It’s different. Child support only for the kids. Ex husband needs to be able to take care of himself. She shouldn’t have to support him and the kids if she wanted to do that she wouldn’t have gotten DIVORCED.
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Just child support or maybe get custody of your kids and pay nothing
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Take your kids, support them and let him worry about himself!
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I’d also 
get my kids back. Wondering why she doesn’t have them. But that’s just me, my kids would be with me full time.
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Umm of course he’s going to want to quit, if he knows you’ll pay his bills.
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Stop paying for his stuff he’s a grown man. Pay him child support or take your kids back from and go from there.
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A grown man should man up and work hard. I would only pay child support.
No wonder he doesn’t wanna work. You’ve been doing it for him.
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I would only pay child support, take your kids back and put them in daycare while you work will probably save you some money in the long run if your already paying child support and also paying extra bills for him, he should man up and get a Job and be the best he can be for his kids and show them a good role model… dad’s these days just want to sit and do nothing and get it all handed to them!
If he cant pay his bills then he cant take care of yalls kids. Get custody and let him figure it out on his own.
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Why should he keep a job when you are willing to support him?
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I’m glad I don’t rely on child support
Everyone saying she should take her kids back like it’s that easy are so ignorant. You can’t take custody away unless neglect or abuse are proven. Period.
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Why don’t you have your kids? First, get them. Second, a grown man can work. There’s no reason he cannot have a good job. Literally everyone is hiring.
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First off why does he have the kids if he is not responsible enough to take care of them
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I’ll take the child support for $500 Alex.
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I’m confused how you say he has them full time then say you have them a few days a week. That sounds 50/50 to me. But if he has no job then he shouldn’t have the kids. And no one should be paying child support. He needs to keep the job and be a man. You aren’t responsible for his bills.
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No no no! If he quits and you continue to help. You are enabling him to never need to work.
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As long as you carry him, he’ll continue to drag his feet
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why don’t you stop enabling him? all you’re doing. why take care of grown man. weird.
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So he can’t pay his bills on his own and he has the kids basically full time so you want to cut him off and only pay child support rather than provide a home for your children and force him to get a job and pay child support? Sounds like you are trying to lessen your financial burden and keep your part time role at the same time. I’m sorry but if a man was asking this question everyone would be calling him a deadbeat dad.
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Only pay what the court’s order says. If he can’t support the kids he shouldn’t have them.
If he’s your ex and you have kids why would you be supporting him? I can see helping but if he’s capable of work he needs to be working. You are not his mom or legally responsible for his sad sack ways. If he needs a therapist he can get one and get it handled. You are divorced and you need to be taking care of wand your kids.
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I’d file for full custody keep my kids and my MONEY!!!
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your only responsibility is takin care of the children you share with him. u r not required to take care
of a grown man! don’t enable him to be a bum and not hold a job.
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I’d raise my kids and cut him off completely
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Stop paying for his bills you are divorce
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He’s grown and if he can’t support the kids then you should be the one with custody. You only owe him what you are paying in child support, nothing else.
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If he isn’t willing to work and your child support won’t support the kids I’d take him back to court and get custody. What a shitty work ethic he has knowing he has children to support.
Take your kids and tell him to figure it the fuck out.
Did you for get the Baisick. Rool if you don’t work you don’t eat. !!!
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I would only pay child support or try and have the kids come live with you. He has to pitch in also and pay for his half.
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Why are your kids full time with a bum that can’t keep a job?
You have no obligation to him you have an obligation to your children. Bin him off completely and go get your kids!!!
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Don’t give him a dime. And get your kids back and make him pay child support. It sounds like he is lazy and not grown up yet.
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You should only be paying for the children.
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Why don’t you have your kids?
Here’s the better question. Why are you supporting him at all? Take your damn kids back and let him figure it out on his own.
Why do your kids live with him? Is that court ordered? If it is you need to get it changed. Take him to court with proof of every cent you gave him, every bill you paid for him & everything you have bought for him or the kids in his care. Paying child support is 1 thing. Supporting an adult is another. Show that he’s unable to care for the kids financially. Get primary custody & child support from him. Hopefully he’ll work to support himself & stay out of jail. I’d also request supervised visits to make sure they’re provided for.
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The kids shouldn’t live with someone who can’t provide for them. If it CO then take him back to court and get your kids back and wash your hands of his lazy self
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My first was out of work more than in work and I worked full time. After 20 years or more I ended it!!!
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Send the kids to him.
Quit being an enabler. I think your man is simply lazy. And the sooner you face that the better off you’re going to be. He’s quite capable of taking care of himself just like you have to do. I quit feeling sorry for him, be firm and use tough love to help him
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Stop paying his bills, pay for food and whatnot for the kids, but his bills (rent, phone, car, etc.) are his to be responsible for.
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Yeah you aren’t obligated to pay your ex’s lifestyle. Also, if he can’t afford the kids, you might want to look into changing arrangements. He’s grown and needs to act it. He’s got a sugar mama so no wonder he’s not enthusiastic about working.
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Leave him to his own shit?
Do you pay more than what you’d be paying in child support?
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Why are you supporting him? It’s not because he has the kids most of the time. When two parents separate, they should each be providing for the children. You’re literally supporting your children full time, without having them full time and you’re supporting your ex husband. HE IS A GROWN ASS MAN! I don’t know many people who love getting up and going to work every day, but we do it because we have to support ourselves and our children. I would make sure that your children have what they need and tell him to grow tf up. If he can’t provide for the kids, then take them back and let him worry about himself. Not sure why he has the kids and you don’t, that’s not my business, but if he can’t support them, he shouldn’t have them.
He may not be lazy. He could be sick. Have his Thyroid checked and his Vitamin levels. It could be depression. Low vitamin D3 will cause this. My husband was a roofer and was diagnosed low vitamin D3. Sometimes our bodies don’t absorb vitamins properly. Thyroid Disease causes malabsorption. If he takes good care of the kids and home …why can’t he. Men can stay at home just as any woman. Are housewives considered lazy because they stay at home. NO. it’s work. All day work. Dawn till dark. Work. Are the kids happy?
Is the house good? Dies he cook? Sounds like a good father and if you give him a chance instead of run him down he could be a great husband as well. There’s always the other side of he coin. God bless.
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Why would you leave your kids full time with a loser… he is literally living off of you. He isn’t your child he is an adult time to start acting like one. Yuck. Get your kids back and stop letting him use you.
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Wow, I wish you were my ex. When I was single and had to take care of my kids alone, I had to find a way for them to be watched so I could go and work and take care of them. For the longest time I couldn’t even get child support on time and he’d be months behind on payments. No wonder he just quits if he doesn’t like the job, he knows you’ll support everyone. 
You should only be paying the child support you’re required to pay. He needs to be responsible and work so he can pay his bills. If he can’t do that then you may need to take over custody of the children until he can carry his own. I’m assuming there is a reason he has the kids, maybe everyone prefers it that way, but for the sake of your childrens well-being and for him to get a reality check, let him know you will no longer be paying his bills and if it comes down to it, you’ll take the children to insure they are safe and taken care of until he can get himself on the right track. It may be hard for everyone but he needs to realize that his ex-wife is not a bank or his mom. Once he is holding himself up on his own, you guys can come back to the custody issue. Tell him you’ll no longer be paying the bills (perhaps after the first of the month when rent is already paid so he has a month to let the information sink in and for him to find a job) and hopefully that will get him on his feet and be more determined to find and keep a job. If you tell him this now he may just stick with the job he’s training for and it won’t come down to custody changes. Make sure he knows your serious. Don’t pay a bill for him, if you do he won’t take you serious and he may just drop his current job thinking you’re all talk and aren’t serious.
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if he has the kids full time, why doesnt he apply for government help. so many single moms do it so its no different for a dad.
it would atleast help with food cost, insurance and if he has a job and sticks with a job then he can get help with daycare also. or ask him to maybe apply for income based housing for him and the kids and they will base rent off his income.
there are so many things he can do, but i do think you need to stop paying his bills and then maybe he will get a reality chrck and stay at a job!
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Child support and move on
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and all these women calling him a loser and stuff, single mothers do it all the time and people dont call them losers.
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Yes just pay child support .
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just child support …and only buy the kids things like some clothes or shoes they might need…treats etc …no stop paying him anything else.People are EX’s for good reason. My EX couldnt hold a job…so after 17 yrs marriage l scooted outa there with a new born and 7 yr old …no point staying
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Definitely just child support
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Get your kids back with you where they belong. Tell him to go to hell.
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Get yours kids and fil for support from him for them. Otherwise expect to be doing the most. Your kids live there so dontyou feel obligated to make sure their life is comfortable?
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Why does he have the kids I will be getting my kids out of that situation
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So two sides to every story of course but if I am just going by this…he doesn’t want to work and most people when they are kinda done with and have someone else taking care of what they need they especially don’t want to work at that point. Now if you were together Id say if he’s taking care of the home needs and children keep up with paying all bills it’s no different then a stay at home mom…if you’re separated and living separate then no…it’s not your responsibility to care for him…awesome to co parent and work together but it’s no longer in your responsibility to ensure they keep a roof over their head. Provide for your kids and that is it…I wouldn’t let my kids go without but why holdback your own life to help someone that obviously could care less if they improve themselves.
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I would be going to court and getting the kids out of there. What is he teaching the kids. That it’s okay to sit around and expect other people to pay for you.
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No he’s a grown man and it’s time for him to act like it ! He has children too that he needs to help support ! Time for him to grow up and actually be a man !
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Dont give him a dime. If he cant support himself let alone you children it is time to have your kids full time and him part time. Of course pay for your kids but his bills are his responsibility not yours.
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Absolutely drop him like a hot potato get your kids back with you tell him to grow up be a real man take care of your kids and your responsibility’s that’s wrong with this world to many slacker’s don’t want to work and collect
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Lol women do this same thing all the time to men and it’s still his duty to pay but now that it’s a man doing it he’s a loser lmao 
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Be brave and do what you know you have to do
He is just using you
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Girl stop paying that man’s bill ….
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This is from a guy’s perspective: if you are going to continue to support me and pay my bills and I can get up to $1,400 a week from Uncle Joe for unemployment why should I work". Drop his dead beat ass like a hot rock, get custody of your kids and move on.
Are you crazy?
He needs to pay his own bills and you pay child support if the children are young…
Why would he work if you pay for everything 
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Your not supporting him …… your paying child support he should be getting benefits if he isn’t working
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