My ex-spouse doesn't want to be seen with me: Advice?

I don’t know that he’s ashamed of you. It seems like he wants to have his cake and eat it too. It sounds like you’re more of a side piece and the less people know about you the more play he gets. Know your worth and step away from this guy.

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Hey mumma.
Pick yourself up. Learn to love yourself. And kick this guy into touch. Dont sleep with him any more. Because hes just using you for his own actions and satisfaction.
He dont care about you and your feelings.

As for party bubba wont remember that party. Take time out and spend it with other mommas who will understand this.
And learn to raise her on your own and be a good co parent partnership.

Know your worth mumma.

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Leave, sounds like a real piece of shit!

He’s with someone else and still sleeping with you…he’s not your spouse…you’re his convenience. Cut contact immediately unless it has to do strictly with the child.

Ew why are you even with him ? No :-1: just because he’s the father of your kid doesn’t always mean you have to stay for that reason ! Leave him and find happinesses somewhere else

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Find someone worthy of you or your daughter will simply devalue herself too and as a mom you will have to watch that unfold and it won’t be good. Srive to be stronger. He needs to go to court and set up visitation schedule.

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He’s not “ashamed” of you. You did nothing for him to be ashamed of you. He is however a cheating beeyotch and kept you hidden because he wanted to protect the other woman’s feelings. Eff him. And I know you’re mad and want to be petty and it feels good in the moment to punish him but it’s really not a good look. If you don’t care about what other people think then do what makes YOU feel better. He doesn’t deserve the respect you’d be giving him. As far as the comments that it’s about your daughter, she’s only ONE YEAR OLD. She isn’t going to remember either party. It’s more like an event for the family to get together and celebrate her. That being said, if your husband and his family want to celebrate your daughter then let them. It’s beautiful that they hold her in such high regard they would go all out like that. If you’re worried about the other woman being there, let it go because they lose them how they got them. She’ll get her karma eventually.

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Why does the child have to suffer bc if you?

Go get a make over and do you!

I know right now you’re hurting but This too shall pass.

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Sis I totally feel what you saying, shoot I’d be upset too and it hurts to the core but he mentally has moved on. He still trying to hold on to you but, you got to take charge of you and let him go. Start by cutting off sleeping with him cause he don’t deserve any of that and plus you gotta break that attachment.
Let baby girl go to the party and you plan something for her with your family. It will hurt cry if you got to. Once that tuff skin build up it won’t affect you as bad. Once you let him go you will be open to
recieve your blessings that out there for you. You ain’t gotta sit there and be down and feel some type of way. Pray and let him go… sending hugs and prayers your way :blush::two_hearts:

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No dump his ass quick

First of all, stop sleeping with him and move on. Second of all, it’s not uncommon for parents who are not a couple not share holidays, birthdays and such together. They usually do it separately. It is really pretty of you not to let her go enjoy her party because you are hurt. Do your own celebration with her and have fun.

So he’s not with you, seeing someone else, andnyou still kept sleeping with him? Sounds like you got bigger problems than just the birthday party. He probably dont wanna be seen with you cuz he’s dating someone else and cheating on her with you lmao

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He sounds like a jerk

He’s clearly using you for your vag. Sorry to be blunt but, don’t let him use you.

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First off - you need to know that you are nothing to be ashamed of. Apparently he is just using you- for sex and as a babysitter. You need to stand up and be the awesome woman you are. You know you are - the Mighty Creator does NOT make ANYONE less than another. You are a woman, mother, friend and you are strong - get your ducks in a role - he isn’t going to like not having control - only you can understand his behavior/ his reaction - be prepared for the worse and pray for the best. Remember YOU deserve to be treated with respect - demand it

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That guy is a fuck boy who doesn’t deserve a minute of your time.

Why are you still sleeping with him if he’s seeing someone? Why wouldn’t you have separate celebrations if you’re not together?! This is confusing. Maybe he didn’t want you there because he’s with someone else and still sleeping with you?:exploding_head:🤷

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One day you’re going to find someone who is going to love and cherish you every single day. In the meanwhile, it’s your job to make sure your baby feels that love. And sending her to that party is the 1st step. The day is for her, and her feelings. Do seperate birthdays if hes going to be like that. I understand that you dont have a large family/friends, but you dont need anyone but you and her to make a great birthday filled with memories.

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Why are you still sleeping with him? Move on. You both need to live your lives separately and do things separately with your daughter . Just because you made a child together doesn’t make you a couple

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It sounds like you are the side-chic.

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Dump his ass because he is a damn fool. Bound get cheated on too by her I hope.

Wait so u are together but he is seeing some one else… Girl u answered your own question. Dumb the dead weight and find yourself a real man

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Hell no your daughter isn’t going you have every right that’s your daughter and you have nothing to be ashamed of babe you are beautiful you are worth it he’s just a little b**** if you need a friend I’m here do not ever let a man do that to you stay strong mama you got a long road ahead but we’re moms you got that shit!

First off you said your spouse then you stated the woman he is seeing! Honey do yourself a favor and KICK that loser to the crib with a QUICKNESS! You deserve better than that…

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Omg y’all are the worst I’ve never seen so many negative comments to every single OP than this page

Honey step up, be a grown woman who needs NO ONES ACCEPTANCE BUT YOUR OWN. LEAVE HIM AND HIS BULL ON THE CURB. LET YOUR DAUGHTER GO, KEEPING A CHILD FROM A PARENT JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE HURT IN LATER YEARS WILL BITE YOU. MOVE IN, DECLARE YOUR WORTH

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You’re letting him make you feel that way. Stop sleeping with him. Go let your child enjoy her birthday because it’s about her, not you. And do your own celebration. My son’s father and I are on good terms but we don’t always celebrate together. Just this passed birthday we didn’t. And that’s okay! You’re not with him so F him. Let him do his thing and stop allowing him to use you. And sorry, but don’t be petty. It’s not your child’s fault her dad is a jerk to you. Just do your own celebration.

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Girl, stop being used.move along, find you someone who wants to be with you for who you are and if the next person truly loves you then they will love your baby as well. Good Luck !

He doesn’t want to be seen in public with you or let you connect with anyone he knows because he doesn’t want anyone knowing about you or that he’s married and he doesn’t want you finding out everything he’s really doing. It has nothing to do with him being ashamed of you. He’s running games… like he’s playing the whole arcade.

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Don’t use your child as a weapon. The issues here are between you and him, not the child. Stop sleeping with him, let her go to the party and create your own party/day fun with her.

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How do you know hes ashamed if you. Maybe hes just a dirty dog that doesnt want his new chick to know hes still sleeping with you. Hes keeping you a secret is what it seems like.

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Doesn’t sounds ashamed just sounds like he is cheating on his SO with you. The child shouldn’t be the one to get hurt because yall can’t figure yalls shit out. Its his child to so of he wants to do a party he can.

Have you thought of divorce ??? The first step in NOT feeling hurt.

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Oh my god. No f u c k him. Girl. Drop him like the trash he is.

You’ll find someone that loves you & will show you off like you deserve to be. :raised_hands:t2:

Do not settle for less.

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Dump him go to court and get a custody order going this guy is nothing but a piece of crap I bet he’s been cheating on her with you

Stop messing with him. Start doing you. I know it hurts but girl he ain’t worth it.

And let ur daughter go

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I’m confused.
He’s with someone else, but still sleeping with you…
And you’re hurt because he planned a party with his GF for y’all’s child and you’re not invited.
You need to stop sleeping with him and move on.
He has every right to plan a party for the baby and not invite you.
You can plan one for the baby on your own.

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I’m confused… you say your spouse, but then you turn around and say that he’s throwing yalls child a party with a woman he’s been seeing and then you say your still sleeping together but you thought you guys had a better friendship??? He didn’t invite you to the party because it’s clearly a party that his girlfriend is throwing, he doesn’t want you there because he has a girl friend and I highly doubt he would want her to know that he’s still sleeping with you. You’re not in a relationship with this man, you have a child with him and and you’re his side peice. Stand up for your self and stop feeling so bad about yourself, or allowing him to make you feel bad about yourself. He’s using your insecurities to use you for sex, that is all. If I were you, I’d make it a point to get this girl friends info and introduce myself.

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So u found out about the party… take your daughter to it. When asked who u are, tell them u are the wife (if y’all are married) & mother of the child. Have fun with your baby at their expense. Then when u leave, take your daughter, snap pictures of your man with another woman & kick his ass out. File for a divorce & show the pics for proof that he was cheating. Make a better life for u & your child without the scumbag

You and him are not even together. You and him are just fuck buddys. He doesnt have to have a party with you at all for the child. You have ur party and he can have a party for the child on his time. Move on and stop sleeping with him geez. Your thinking you and him are still together I think but ur not. Get over it

Stop enabling him to treat you like trash and leave him for the dog that he is.

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Why are you sleeping with someone who is seeing someone else??

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Nah you go take your daughter out and celebrate with her…let them have their party without her…

He is not your spouse anymore. Get him out of your life.

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Whewwww girl kick him outttttttttttt

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This should be a decision based on whats best for the children, your daughter is only one so shes still safe from imprinting on the kind of relationship dysfunction your describing, but I wouldnt let her get much older in a toxic enviornment or she’ll someday be telling a counselor about her childhood

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Stop sleeping with your husband who is seeing someone else and doesn’t want to be seen with you. He sounds like a dick !!! You will be happier in the end !

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This question is to Mamas Uncuts, where do you find these people with such questions??

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Find a new man who will treat you like the mf queen that you are.

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Smh shame on him. Shame on you. Step outside of yourself. This party is for the kid. Don’t take that away because you’re not handling your emotions well.

SMH!!!

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Dump him he’d not worth your thoughts and you don’t want him giving your child feelings of inferiority

There is way too much that is confusing about this post. U say your spouse, but also state “a woman he is seeing” and “we were still sleeping together.” Are u in an open relationship? Are u together or not?

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I’m so confused your spouse but he is seeing someone else he is in a relationship and yet your are sleeping with him … I don’t get why you don’t get why he is ashamed of but oh well I will tell you he isn’t inviting you and doesn’t want to be seen with you in public because you are the other woman you are the side chick that’s so clear how do you not see it oh and it’s his child too he has a right to celebrate her and throw her a party with his family without you there just like you do don’t do your child wrong by not allowing her to be celebrated you can throw another party for her on your own also I would suggest you stop sleeping with him but I guess it’s up to you

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I’m confused… Your spouse? But he’s seeing someone else and planning parties without you for your child?

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Oh and take the baby to chuckie cheese for her birthday

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Turn it over to God and trust him

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Hes cheating on the person he is cheating on you with? Huh?

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Wait, what in the hell did I just read??? First of all, he can go f right off. Second, he’s seeing another woman??? He needs to go. And you celebrate your daughters birthday with her.

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Are you in a polygamist marriage??

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Wait I’m confused you said your spouse but then you said friendship and he’s seeing a woman I don’t get if you’re not together then he’s not your spouse. This is all kinds of confusing.

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Sorry, I don’t care what anyone says. There is no way to take the high ground on this one. Don’t let her go. Kick his butt out and divorce his sorry butt! It is YOU who should be ashamed to be seen with HIM!

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Stop letting yourself be used #1 that will fix 80% of your problem. #2 don’t use your child as a pawn. Ever.

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I’m confused. Are y’all together? If you’re not together and in a relationship, then he’s perfectly fine to see other people and have a party for his daughter without you. If you two are in a relationship, there’s a whole metric crap ton to unpack there and the birthday party is the least of y’all’s concerns. Regardless, it’s about the CHILD, not you, not him, not y’all’s feelings about each other.

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This whole post is confusing…

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I’m so confused… 1st of all, you deserve to not be treated as such; 2nd, I thought this was your man and you’re saying he is seeing another woman? What the…is there an open relationship or are you guys not together but in your mind you think you are cause you 2 are having sex, but in reality, you’re split up…what kinda fuckery is this? I feel bad for the kid. This is messy and you both sound immature. If he never committed to any party and you had a feeling he wasn’t on board, then you shouldn’t be feeling depressed and upset. stop expecting him to be on board with you if you 2 arent even together. Dont have expectations for someone who isn’t with you. Once you accept that, you’ll be much happier. Move on and do you.

He’s probably not ashamed to be seen with you based on how you look, it’s probably because you’re still sleeping with him while he’s SEEING SOMEONE ELSE. So that means he’s cheating on his woman with you?? Of course that makes sense why he doesn’t wanna be seen with you. SMH.

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Sometimes you have to be the bigger person let her enjoy her birthday party and do something special with her yourself and by all means STOP SLEEPING WITH HIM!!!

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U deserve better get a life that you deserve not only for you but also for your child :child:

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First things first, stop calling him your spouse. He’s just a bum that you had a child with.
Next, STOP sleeping with him. :woman_facepalming:t4: Why would you continue to screw someone who is ashamed of you? Much less have a child by him.
You should also seek counseling. You obviously have some self esteem issues that you need to work on. As far as your daughter’s party, it’s up to you how you want to play that. Just realize while you are punishing him you are also taking away from her🤷🏽‍♀️

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Why are you sleeping with him if he’s seeing another woman? Let him go and have you’re own party with the few people you do have in your life

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Divorce him that’s what you do

Please learn to respect yourself…

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What makes you think that he is your spouse :woozy_face::joy: :weary: that’s all I have on this :grimacing:

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Kick him to the curb

Honey, you need to send him packing right now! Stand up for youself and show you child how not to be treated. I raised 3 children on my own because they had an abusive father. And the way he is treating you is emotional abuse. You are worth more!

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Huh :thinking:

Sounds like he’s your ex/baby daddy and you guys aren’t in a relationship. Therefore he doesn’t have to celebrate his daughter’s bday with you if he doesn’t want to. Don’t make your daughter suffer because of your feelings.

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For your daughter’s sake…let her go have fun with her daddy, and when it is convenient, spend a day with your daughter doing something special for her birthday, just you, and her!! Everyday was always special with my kids…so I never was real concerned about what day, and when their father took them!!!

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Well, for one he doesn’t need to be your spouse anymore! There are so many questions that are going through my head.

  1. Does he live with you?
  2. Are you legally separated?
  3. Why are you sleeping with him?
  4. Why does he have a girlfriend
    The list goes on.
    Ditch this jerk and start thinking more of yourself and your daughter. He walks all over you because you don’t stick up for yourself. Show him you care more for yourself and loose his dead weight. He’s holding you back from you showing your real self!
    Love you and someone special will love you back.
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Unfortunately, no matter how you feel personally, its his daughter too. He has the right to celebrate her and you have to put those feelings in check. If you’re not together then I suggest not living together and a parenting plan. It hurts, yes, but be bigger and move on for yourself and your kid.

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Girl, go! Run! Get away from this toxic situation. You deserve to be treated like a queen but most importantly, you need to love yourself enough to leave. Sorry this has happened to you.

Stop sleeping with this user.

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K are you together or is he with someone else ???
If hes with someone else then stop sleeping with him let your child go to her party that he planned and plan your own party! Find someone nice and be happy!! He sounds like a real winner.

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You aren’t being petty at all you’re feelings are valid and you deserve respect!

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I understand where you’re coming from. It was your choice to still sleep with him even after knowing he’s ashamed of being seen with you. That one is on you honestly. That does Make him a dick. As for your daughter’s birthday party that he’s been planning you’re dead wrong for saying that she’s not going. Just because you’ll have a friendship you’re not together and he really doesn’t owe you anything. Your getting in the way of that father and daughter relationship bc you feel a type of way.

You deserve better then that! You can do better!

Are you going to listen. Really listen to any of these advices.

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You’re giving yourself to a man that is ashamed of you? He has shown his true colors and you still can’t stop? I think you are the one with the problem. No disrespect, just being honest. Your daughter should still go to the party her father planned…no need to punish her. It’s you with the issue…stop giving yourself to him and move on (as hard as it may be emotionally for you). Focus on co-parenting. That’s all.

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He is an ass and you need to end things with him fully and move on. I would only contact him if it concerns your child. No reason to be friends with him since you guys will never do anything together anyway since he’s “ashamed of you”. And by the way thats his issue not yours.

Kiss his Ass to the Curb!!!

Something telling me he’s married and she’s the other woman. Something fishy going on here.

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If he’s still your spouse, you need to change that immediately. Does he pay the bills and pay anything towards support of your daughter? If not, you need to talk to a lawyer ASAP to make sure you have custody of her.

Your post is very confusing the way it’s written in the beginning made it sound like u r still together so u will probably get mixed answers but if your not together then u don’t need to have together parties and now ur taking out on ur children cuz your upset normally post r like people made there kids father aren’t involved but here he is

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Yes leave now before u bring more children send him packing that is abuse plus hes hurting your child by her seeing this hes not a man not worth your time

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A. Spouse/not spouse- huge difference
B. Maybe he’s not ashamed of you but because he’s cheating on another woman with his baby mama- he doesn’t want the two of you together… he’s not ashamed, just a cheat
C. Being petty is one thing, taking your disappointment out on your child is wholly another…

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You’re not being petty! He’s not ashamed of being out with you, he’s cheating on you and doesn’t want anyone to see him with u and it get back to the other woman. Walk away with your child and you can celebrate with her and your other children

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Let your daughter go to her party, she can’t help the mess of this situation.

So he’s cheating on you with new partner and you want him to proudly show you off ? Stop this. You told this story like you’re the other woman.

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So confusing… he is the spouse, but dude is seeing someone else and then she mentions that they where ok and good friendship and sleeping together?? Seems like u are just, the baby mama and the other chick is the main one??

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Is there some sort of back story because this definitely isn’t adding up yours spouse is ashamed of you …a girl he’s been seek g sleeping with you good friends so you aren’t together then?

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Depends. My thoughts. If his party on her actual birthday then hell no she wouldn’t go without me. But if not, then let her go.

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