Please post. Anonymously. I need feedback because I am hurting badly right now. My child’s father is very ashamed of me. He has never introduced me to anyone he knows. This hit home yesterday. Our daughter turned one on Tuesday. For the last month, I have been talking to him about doing something for her birthday. I don’t have a large family or many friends. It was always my understanding we would celebrate with my kids and his sons. But he never really committed to anything, so I just thought he wasn’t on board. Yesterday I found out he’s planned an entire party with a woman he is seeing. He didn’t tell me about it at all. He’s so ashamed to be seen in public with me that he won’t even celebrate my child’s birthday with me. And I am so depressed. I thought we were good and had a decent friendship. We were still sleeping together, but he planned to celebrate my daughter without me and didn’t even tell me. I told him she’s not going. And I know I’m petty, but I’m just so hurt. Please tell me what you would do?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. https://answers.mamasuncut.com/t/my-spouse-doesnt-want-to-be-seen-with-me-advice/9839
Get over yourself. It’s not about you, it’s about your kid.
Don’t let your hurt feelings stop your baby from having a birthday party. It’s not about you.
Your not with him. He doesn’t have to show you off to anyone. Sounds like you just aren’t over him. Get over it. This isn’t about you. It’s about your child.
Dump him. Don’t stay in a loveless marriage.
Clearly you’re no longer in a relationship with him. Why does it matter?
Your spouse? And he is seeing someone else ? I’d be moving on find someone who knows your worth … as for the party have one with your friends and family even if it’s just a few make it special for baby!!
Well what did you do for him to be ashamed of you??
If your split up he is under no obligation to spend time with you …
So the initial question is about your spouse but then you mention he’s planning a party with a girl he’s seeing. But you’re still sleeping with him?
This sounds like he’s your ex and he’s not required to 1) spend time with you 2) plan a party with you 3) tell anyone his past history
And it’s not “your” daughter. She’s his, too.
You’re going to deny your daughter a special day just about her because you’re bitter about your ex? No ma’am. That’s childish behavior.
If your not together hes not your spouse… Let your daughter have her birthday party and stop making it about you
You’re not with him he doesn’t have to have a party with you?? Throw your own an let her go to the party her dad is throwing! That’s awful!
Hang on here … her “spouse” planned their daughters party with someone else he’s been seeing? So in other words he’s cheating on you and has nothing to do with not wanting to be seen with you
If he was sleeping with someone else how is he your spouse? This post makes absolutely no sense
So wait…your husband, as in you’re together and he planned a party with a woman he’s seeing OR your husband, as in the guy you’re married to and separated from? I’m confused…
You sound like you’re not together. Get over yourself. He’s not obligated to do stuff with you. And you not letting your guys’ daughter have a birthday party with him because you weren’t invited is beyond childish. Don’t let YOUR selfishness ruin your child’s life or your child and their fathers relationship. You’re the kinda mothers I dislike
He sleeps with u sometimes but is ashamed of you ? I’m not understanding
Spouse? Childs father!? Someone he is seeing!? Huh 
I think we need clarification
He is using you …throw your own party in the future …drop her off and stay with her , you should be there too !
He’s having an affair. He’s cheating on you and you are still with him? Girl….get out of the relationship. You are better off without him.
This is so complicated. Like…Why? Celebrate your child. There’s many parents out there that don’t even call. And it’s time for you to move on.
There’s no nice way of saying this. But maybe don’t be sleeping with/getting pregnant by someone who only views you as a hookup. Sounds like you were the side piece and got pregnant to try to sway the situationship in your favor but he’s clearly not wanting to be connected to you. He’s probably keeping the peace to be in his child’s life but not yours.
I’d give her two birthday parties
This whole post is confusing. I see spouse, friendship, and someone he’s seeing all in the same post. I think it’s time to figure out who you are to him before worrying about anything else. It sounds like you may be confused or can’t let go of something that is over.
He’s your child’s father not your spouse. You still allow him to have sex with you - that’s not a relationship.
Your child should have as many birthday parties as planned for her.
You’re being spiteful & selfish because your feelings are hurt.
As long as he’s taking care of your child he has the right to be with his kid and do things for her. I wouldn’t keep her from him that’s just gonna make you look bad. I don’t understand how he can be so embarrassed by you, yet had a kid with you and you said you were actively sleeping together? Idk, let him move on and only deal with each other for your kid. She’ll see what’s going on as she gets older and make her own decisions about him.
I’d move on with your life. And let your little girls go to the party find a new man stop sleeping with him of you know he’s seeing someone new.
The comments on here that are attacking her are freaking mind blowing smh
It is time to move on and heal. You are only hurting yourself by staying and trying to hold on to a relationship with this man.
I think the bigger issue is he’s cheating on you… Am I right?
He’s fooling you all. Throw your own party without him and when he does his own, then your daughter can go. I don’t believe in always doing nice for the kids if it’s gonna kill you. I cut my son’s father out. Their is no being nice here.
He’s your spouse, but he’s seeing another woman and planning a birthday party with her, he sometimes sleeps with you but ashamed of you?
Girl this sounds like a mess
I would put my feelings for him aside. And stop having sex with him. That will help with the feelings and emotions.
I would definitely allow her to the party. Don’t punish her because of him. And just do your own thing with your daughter.
Don’t create a false reality of a family that’s not their. Your just hurting your self. Its kinda like you got to have this idgaf attitude towards him. You can’t change a man. And a baby dam sure won’t make him stay.
Just distance your self on your own Nd you will be so so so much happier. Who cares what he thinks. Look your self in the mirror and let yourself know how beautiful you are. If YOU believe it , other will too. Good luck to you.
He’s just your child’s father
He’s not your spouse. Plan your own party
Sounds like you two aren’t in a relationship. Meaning that he’s not obligated to throw a party with you, throw one yourself. And you can’t tell him who he can and can’t have at his party he’s throwing. He doesn’t have to introduce you to anyone… you are obviously still attached and it’s time to move on like he is.
I’m lost. Why did you marry a man who is ashamed to be seen with you. Did you not have a wedding. Was your kid ignored this whole time too… where is this woman hes seeing? How is he seeing another woman without you divorcing him already.is this real life.
Get out of the relationship! It sounds like he was already involved with someone else and didn’t want them to know about you
All of you saying “get over yourself” that’s some skank a$$ bish energy:clap:
He’s screwing you so he can see his child bc he knows you’ll stop him from seeing her if he don’t. Don’t let your hurt feelings stop your daughter from having a relationship with her dad.
Stop fuckin him.
Y’all aren’t in a relationship, he is not your spouse. stop looking for validation from him. stop loving a man that don’t love you!
It’s not that he’s embarrassed to be seen with you, He simply don’t want you and don’t want people to think y’all in a relationship BECAUSE YALL ARE NOT. Sex and in a relationship are two different things. Don’t get them confused
1st. Celebrate your child. It’s her day no matter who shows up.
2nd. Pack your bags
3rd. Find your self worth again.
First of all, he’s f*cked up and a horrible person. Secondly, stop letting him have sex with you. Lastly, cut off communication for your own good. Have someone drop her off and pick her up at the party for you. Just act like you could give a damn about him. Get on a dating site and go for a little date… Just let loose, don’t take things so serious, consider it a fun endeavor. Go out with girlfriends… Go on a little vacay… Get your life back girl!! You’re worth it!
It’s time to move on and give your daughter the best which isn’t him.
But why do we women like to put ourselves in situations that are beneficial to us; U mean were the 2 of you still an item…looks like you were the one still in that relationship…clearly he moved on and only saw you as his daughter 's mother stop this irrational and feeling lost without him gosh🙄
You deserve better than this because he’s making a fool out of you
He’s not your spouse. He’s your child’s father. Goes you’re petty for not letting your daughter go because you misunderstood the relationship
Stop sleeping w him. First. Cut all those feelings. And f him. Focus on you. Your whole mood will change, and the way you carry yourself will be felt by others.
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Its all about your daughter
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Never force a man to be with you
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Please move on and focus on yours and your family’s happiness.
God bless and Be Strong.
Move on. You deserve so much more.
If you aren’t in a relationship then I’m not sure what your issue is.
Move on let him go.find your friends
I’m sure someone will be bothered by this comment but I am really confused. You’re married? How did you get married without being seen if he won’t be seen in public with you? Not trying to be rude I’m just genuinely confused. And about the party? And the other woman? I’d say goodbye to him and go out separate ways because he clearly doesn’t respect or value you as his spouse and mother of his child.
Rock up there as you have a right to see who is around your daughter. Also I suggest you get full custody cause he is dirty and can take her away if you remain naive. You also need to stop sleeping with him cause you are clearly a mattress to him. You need to remember your worth. As for the other lady she needs to know you still sleeping with him as well. If he can dog you both then he could have others. You need to get out of this toxic relationship or sexual entanglement that you in cause you only going to get sick from all this nonsense he is driving in your life
Yall aren’t together just friends with benefits
You cant keep her from him just because your feelings got hurt. That’s not fair to your daughter!
So ~ and I’m not trying to be rude or anything ~ either you’re in an open relationship or you’re just his FWB. If he’s seeing someone else … and you’re hurting let him have his own party with the child and you have one at home. IF I were in your shoes, I’d kick his butt to the curb. Obviously you’re an afterthought if he’s seeing someone else and doesn’t publicly acknowledge you … Good luck with whatever you decide.
Whatever you do, don’t put your child in the middle of this. She deserves to have a party with her dad and with you. Take the higher road, be the bigger person, and don’t let your pettiness and personal feelings affect your child. It’s not her fault
You thought you had a decent “friendship”… girl ! That’s what it is at this point, friends with benefits but you have a kid together. Leave him and throw your own party. At this point the issue isn’t the party it’s that He’s cheating on you .
Introduce yourself girl! See if it works, believe me it’ll get you further than waiting on him
Don’t count on anyone to do anything for your kid. Throw her a party for your crew but also allow him to celebrate his child as well. That’s super petty keeping them away on her first bday bc you’re jealous.
So you say spounce and I’m thinking relationship…
Why is there another woman involved?
You need to leave that is not okay!!!
Move on with your life.
Make some friends high add me.
It sounds like yall are not together. If so hes not obligated to you only your child and vice versa. Stop sleeping with him ASAP. Do your own thing and let him do his.
how he ya spouse and he with someone else ??? sounds like he jus using you for booty ….hes a whole dub … but your daughter cmon that beyond petty be a mother first and let her go to her birthday party not her fault you let him take advantage of you and your feelings for him move on honey and good luck
Stop being petty and let your daughter go to her birthday party. Stop sleeping with him. Move on.
Okay so I’m slightly confused but the gist I got is you’re going to keep your child away from their father because he doesn’t want to be seen with you… That’s not Petty that’s just fucked up…
Im so confused. She said hes the spouse but sleeping with someone else? Does she just mean child father.
Honey that’s not your spouse, that’s your BD. Cut him off and find someone that loves you.
And keeping your daughter away bc you’re upset that you’re sleeping with a bad guy is petty as fuck.
So he’s having his cake and eating it? Of course he doesn’t want you around at the party when he’s playing happy family with his girlfriend. He’s not going to have you both in the same place that will bring up issues with people he knows.
Stop sleeping with your baby dad and plan your own get together. You aren’t apart of his family and he’s making that pretty clear by doing this
This doesn’t sound like y’all are together at all. “Planned an entire party with a woman he is seeing.” Is he cheating with this woman? Are you separated? Were you ever married?
If he’s cheating then pack your bags, leave, and throw her your own birthday party.
If you’re not together then leave it be and throw your own party. A lot of divorced/separated couples don’t do joint birthday parties. He doesn’t seem to want to - so throw your own.
Also “we were still sleeping together.” If you’re not together and he’s sleeping with you while seeing this other woman… he probably just doesn’t want you both in the same place together. Not saying he’s in the right, but of course he’s not going to invite both of you then. 
Either way - best bet is to just have your own. Don’t worry about what he’s doing. Worry about what you’re doing with your daughter.
Let her have the party he is doing. You look petty if you dont( idk how you wanna look) and throw her a party too. Don’t give givd him no attention…no sex etc. Treat him like an ex and baby daddy. He doesn’t care about you. Me and my child’s dad plan our daughters party on and off every year. Both of us are invited to each party. I can’t find a new partner that is fine with that but oh well we are copartenting.
Umm are you only married and not actually dating or living in same home? If so your petty if not then why the hell you with him
Let her go and let him go. Get you a new man and be happy. Also stop giving it it that’s just stupid
He’s not your spouse. He’s “dating” somebody else while keeping you as a sidepiece. 
Id bring my daughter to the party and stay.
Just show up and be like heyy.
Im sorry i would not be with him another second.
First thing you need to do is stop sleeping with him, also only conversation would be about mutual child. If you share custody what he does on his time isn’t your concern unless it’s harming your daughter.
You are worth so so much more then his pettiness and his is dragging you down to his level.
Have your own party for her and move past him with your life.
Make new friends and keep going!
Only associate with him if it has to do with your daughter DONT give him access to you anymore. This is not helping you mentally at all!
You are worthy of loving relationship with a person that loves every bit of you and not ashamed to show the world!
I don’t think she put spouse I think the admin headlined it that way
your spouse??? I am totally not understanding your post…your sleeping with him? do you live with him as a family? I don’t know how to answer this question
It sounds to me like the mom and dad aren’t together. The mom still wants a relationship and dad is just using her for sex. Dad doesn’t want mom at the bday party because he doesn’t want it slipping to his new boo that he isn’t being faithful. The best thing to do is for the mom to let go of anything physical/romantic and just coparent for the sake of their child.
Side note: let her go to the party with her dad. So what if you’re not there. Throw your own party and enjoy it. 
Don’t let your bitter, pettiness effect her. You have a lifetime to go.
move on from him, you deserve better. you can’t find happiness through anyone else but yourself.
i know from experience.
Better stop hooking up before there’s another kid.
I’m confused but sounds like you’re the side chick and they don’t get publicly displayed so I’d advise cutting him off, he clearly has a relationship if he planned a party with someone else. Messed up situation but I’d let her do his party then do something else with her by yourself
First, Stop sleeping with him, since he is seeing another women! Can’t expect respect if you don’t respect yourself… I would kick him to the curb and never look back. Spend the day with your daughter, enjoy these years they go by so fast!!
LEAVE HIS MOTHERF’ING ASS. You deserve better.
Sounds like you have known he was seeing someone else but still allowing him to use you for a bed buddy not a true relationship. The child is his and the child deserves the party with you there or not and I’m not being mean here. You need to plan your own party for the child - no child can ever get to much love. On a personal note you need to accept the fact that you are not important to him other than a quick roll in the hay which yes is very disrespectful and using you so put a stop to that set up visitation and cut all ties with him that does not concern your child only.
It’s time to take the blinders off!! He is not your spouse he is a fuck buddy who happens to be your baby daddy. It’s time to move on,Hun!! Dont put that kid in the middle either. Let the kid go to the party and you do your own thing with family and friends no matter how small that circle is.
I’m sorry to
Sound harsh and I’ve been thinking through this personally…If he’s seeing someone else he doesn’t want you. He is done and probably planning his exit. He doesn’t care about the vows or anything else. I can’t say he doesn’t care for his daughter but you guys are pretty much over if he’s with another woman. Leave, heal and don’t look back. Don’t look at you as being the one he’s ashamed of. When I look back…I’m ashamed I lowered my standards and allowed someone to do that to me.
Now…as a woman who has been here…if you need to talk IM HERE! It’s agonizing and I understand
Ur being selfish!!! Ur taking out on ur child what should b handled between u & baby daddy… if ur mad at him deal with him, don’t bring ur kid into it… let the child enjoy their bday with both parents… I was engaged to someone who had kids and the baby mommas were petty and kept the kids from him because they thought I was spoiling them too much… I loved those children more than I loved myself and always threw them a party… they had one with mom & one with us!! Point is who knows maybe she will truly treat ur daughter like her own if things work out 4 them… It sucks if he cheated but Kids should be the last 2 suffer or 2 ever been brought up into the equation… yes he is prob not a fan of bein around u if u 2 have issues, it’s normal… men r selfish but it all depends on a situation, we weren’t there, we r only hearin 1 side!! Please don’t do this 2 ur child, she is gonna hate u later in life especially if she realizes her dad really did try 2 b around her, just not in a toxic 2 him environment…
How old is this woman
Um slash that assholes tires or something. That isn’t cool especially if he’s been having sex with you. What a piece of shit!!!
He has a girlfriend-! Move on
first of all, i’d have never been with anyone who was that ashamed to be seen with me. you’re trippin sis. leave that f*ckboy alone and move on with your life. you deserve way more than that.
I think we all need some clarification as to the situation. How is he your spouse and planning a party with the woman he is seeing?
Wow this is sad. Don’t be with him no more
Please do yourself a favor and go on with your life. Plan a party for your kid and move on!!! Who cares if he planned a party without you when you’re not even in a relationship.
He isn’t ashamed of you. You aren’t together and he’s with someone else. And your sleeping with a man you know has another women in his life. So you are the side piece?! Well you are even if you don’t realize it and side pieces are just that. You are there when he wants you and till u stop he’s going to use you. He doesn’t need to do anything with you other then coparent. You can’t keep his child from him bc ur mad he doesn’t want to be around you. Stop being petty it’s going to backfire on you. Using ur child as a pawn bc your hurt is gross.
It sounds like you know where you stand. Decide if this is how you want things to be and do something about it. If you don’t want this then remove yourself from the situation as anything but a coparent. If you wanna keep sleeping with him then learn to stifle your feelings and accept things as they are. The ball is in your court. 
I want to know how long he’s been seeing her and if you’ve met? Are they serious enough for her to be introduced to your baby yet? Those are the questions I’d be asking myself. I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it for my babies first birthday if I wasn’t invited. If he was planning something with just his family and close friends then that’s different. That’s just my opinion