My heart sank for you. You need to stand up for yourself and stop being his doormat. Im so sorry. Also you should let your daughter go. She would have a lot of fun and make great memories and you shouldn’t take that from her because you’re being treated so badly
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There’s is way too much information to give you an good and honest opinion. Sounds like you’ve gotten yourself into a mess, that’s for sure. Remember, life isn’t about you anymore. Don’t teach your baby how to be spiteful.
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First stop sleeping with him and you don’t have to let her go unless you are there they are strangers to her you are her mother he don’t like it then too bad
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That’s not your spouse. That’s your baby daddy. He’s not embarrassed of you, he’s just hiding you because he’s playing his girl with you occasionally. As for the party, once ya completely break up he’s gonna have his right to do his own thing for her, but until then, you have every say since he’s playing games.
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If you can’t GO!!! Boo, my BABY ain’t GOING!!! Just that Simple and I be DAMN!!!
I really wish there was a SMH button!!!
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You are allowing him to have his cake and eat it to. You keep sleeping with him even though he keeps showing you he doesn’t respect or want anything with you. You need to work on yourself. You need to find a way to get your confidence and love yourself. If not for you to show your child how to be a strong person. First step- strictly coparent, nothing else.
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Is he your spouse is just the father of your baby? Are you in a relationship?
This isn’t clear from the info given. However, NEVER be with ANYONE who is ashamed of you or makes you feel ashamed of who you are. Dump this POS.
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Girl, ditch him and don’t look back. You deserve better than that.
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Get up,get out and get to work on YOU
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First of all that’s your child too. If your not invited I would not want my child to go. You don’t know that other woman. And if the child’s father has another woman them what are you doing sleeping with him ? He can’t have his cake and eat it too. Kick him to the curb and find someone that cares for you. Don’t just let the child’s father overstep you. Your rules your child.
You’re not a couple. He doesn’t care. Let him be a father to his kid, and that’s it. Move on with your life. Go to therapy, work on yourself.
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Why are you sleeping with him when he has not an ounce of respect for you. He has obviously moved on and you need to do the same. Why are you wasting energy on him? You have every right to say she is not going. Pull up those big girl panties and move on. He’s a waste of time and energy.
Wait your hubby is seeing another woman and he’s taking her to y’all’s child birthday party without you hell naw
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Tell her you’re still sleeping with him. Then stick to a parenting time court order. Stop sleeping with him. Therapy.
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What the heck lady??!! Don’t let that scoundrel disrespect you like that! Who the heck is he to do that? YOU and ONLY you are the CEO of your life. Put him on the road with his other “thing” and divorce him. While you’re at it , make sure you get all the child support you deserve for your baby. Grow a backbone, for your own self esteem and get yourself and children a decent life. Don’t make them continue to live your nightmare. To heck with him. That’s no man.
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Ditch is ass!!! You deserve better!
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Let me get this right… your HUSBAND is going to celebrate Yours and HIS DAUGHTERS Birthday with His Girlfriend ? Ugh NO, NO, NO !!! She does not get to be around let alone celebrate your childs birth with her Daddy !!! What kind of a man even thinks this is ok ?? Honey you are not just there for him you are there for each other and apparently he has let you down to make you feel this way about your self. Id tell him to walk away. Go be with this girlfriend. You and that little girl deserve a full time man in your lives. Someone to make you feel as Beautiful as you truly are. Every man and woman deserves to feel that way. Dump that chump. Good luck Honey.
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Wait are y’all a thing now? Or y’all were a thing? Like y’all ain’t together anymore and he is seeing someone else, and they are having a party on their side? Sounds like maybe he isn’t ashamed he has moved on. There is just pieces of this that doesn’t make sense.
Sounds like your priorities should not be him not wanting to be seen with you but a divorce attorney.
You’re not saying the whole story.
Also, so said spouse but now he’s just a baby daddy who’s seeing another women?
Yeah it hurts, but it is what it is.
Build your own village and do separate stuff.
If he was already beating around the bush, why are you hurt? Do your own thing and he can do his.
You’re setting yourself up to be hurt by him.
Unless there’s a neutral balance, its just weird.
Don’t force uncomfortable situations
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I’m so confused. This is your husband he is seeing another woman and he’s throwing a birthday party for y’all child and he didn’t tell you but the side chick is invited and you thought you and him had a good friendship because he was coming in getting some ass?
If you are not together as a couple in a relationship, but are in a healthy co-parenting relationship you should be able to parent and celebrate separately with your daughter. That is just part of mature co-parenting and a consequence of not being in a relationship with the the other parent. I believe in equal rights for both parents. You made her 50/50. If he is a decent person, you share 50/50, no child support necessary…children shouldnt be kept from another parent and seen as $$ signs for child support.
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So are you married to this idiot? Did he sign her birth certificate? Have you been to court for visitation and support? The answers to.these questions makes a big difference in what you can and cannot legally do.
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And he’s still in one piece?
If you’re sleeping with him while he has another lady, you’re basically telling him that it’s okay to disrespect you because you’re not respecting yourself.
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Not sure what you are meaning here? Are you in a relationship or is he the father of your child and your just intimate with him as a secret on his part, sometimes it’s not shame but you may be his secret with this other world he has. And if your his secret, get as much custody as possible and just be 
platonic
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I’d tell him he’s an ass and don’t bother coming around anymore. He’s a jerk.
Please value your own self worth! Your daughter will learn from watching you, and the example you set! Value yourself!
Let him do his party…
But please, for the love of all that is sacred and holy…close the door to sharing a bed with this man, to sharing a home with this man…
Give your daughter another party. Even if it’s just you, and her…it’s just the time, and quality of time you spend with her that is important!
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Stop sleeping with him. You’re allowing him to control you, which is why you’re depressed. I know it would be hard to let your daughter go to the party for her, but you have to put your own feelings aside and do what’s best for her. I’m sorry you’re going through that, and some people are so rude, but you deserve better. Stop messing with him.
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Know your worth. No one’s worth is to be the side chick. But in the same token you don’t have the right to punish her because your feelings are hurt. You don’t have to be friends to co parent, you sure as hell don’t need to have sex to Co parent, but you do need to RESPECT each other to co parent. Don’t take away her party because you got messy, that’s wrong to do. Don’t teach her it is ok to be treated like he treats you by repeating that behavior.
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Friendship ,sleeping together or is he your spouse …very confusing …if he was just a friend with benefits than there is not a committed relationship so he’s free to be in a relationship with someone else …another words you are his " side piece " and if he never took you out or brought friends over don’t mean he is ashamed of you it means you are his side piece and don’t have a place in his life …as for a party for it’s his child too and he is aloud to give his child a birthday party …after all like you said you were " friends "
Sounds like you are with a narcissist leave you deserve better
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Are you seriously asking this???
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Anyone who hasn’t been through this situation can give you all the advice they want, but they won’t truly understand what you’re going through. It’s hard but you gotta start focusing on you and your child. Take all the time you need, but you gotta get out and make a new life for yourself. If you dwell on the past or even the present, you will missout on what truly matters, and that’s your child. They grow up fast. You don’t want to look back and say I didn’t do anything with my kid because I was so lost in despair over a man that didn’t give me the time of day I deserved. Take your kiddo and do something for her birthday, even if it’s just the two of you. It’s better to make memories and enjoy the little things than focus on what her dad is doing. I feel for you. Know you’re worth, make new friends, get out and enjoy life 
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Sometimes when parents are unable to co-parent they throw their own parties. I understand you don’t have a big family or many friends but invite who you have over and have your own party. One year olds really don’t remember their first birthdays.
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Did you just say your husband is throwing y’alls daughters first birthday party not with you but his MISTRESS. There’s so much to unpack here. LEAVE. RUN.
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you:clap:are:clap:worth:clap:more:clap:
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Ok, so you’re married (“spouse”)? And he’s actively cheating on you and has thrown you to the curb? This relationship is over. See a therapist to deal with the hurt and pain of that and to work on your self-esteem. Then you’ll stop sleeping with the guy (do you think no one else would sleep with you?).
Has he asked for a separation/divorce? I suggest you agree to one and let him pay all the legal costs unless you think he’ll be an a-hole about assets if you have a lot.
I’m so sorry. Either show up & stay at his party if you won’t feel humiliated, or just have a party of your own. At one your child won’t remember much.
Join something fun (walking group of moms, Tango class, church group, card playing group, language class, book club, neighborhood clean up crew, political support group) and make new friends and meet new people once you have worked on your self esteem. I have very little family but I have created a large one out of friends. You can too. Learn to spread your wings you beautiful butterfly! 
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Wow! My husbands ex and I celebrate birthday’s and Holidays together. We are good friends.
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Don’t mess around with people who are in relationships. Regardless if you have a kid with them or not. Smfh.
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Why is he embarrassed around you? That’s the first thing to think about. You need to allow your daughter to be with her father and celebrate it’s not about you. Have your own celebration with her. Do. It use your child as a pawn. And remember if your under him your not getting over him .stop sleeping with him and go own and make a life for yourself. But do not use that baby as a pawn in a game. A d remember it’s not about you.
leave, run, go to a shelter, make sure to take your child
start hiding money, get a job
if u are married that’s alimony Sha . Stop sleeping with the jerk. His woman he’s seeing needs to know y’all are still sleeping together. I don’t think she deserves that bs either. He’s a jerk. U are much more worthy than that. Don’t be second choice,of second best to anyone. As for the party. I’d let her go
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It has nothing to do with how he values u.
U need to value urself
Nothing will change until u make the 1st move.
There is someone out there that will treat u the way u should be treated but u need to let go of him.
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Hes seeing someone and sleeping with you?? Your a side piece even if you have a kid. No he doesnt have to invite you to his party that he is throwing for the child you share.
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He’s your EX. Why are you so insistent to do things together? He’s obviously trying to separate your lives, which is exactly what you should be doing too.
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Get him out of your life. Don’t be sleeping with him. You deserve much better.
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I stopped reading after u said he won’t introduce u to anyone. Girl if u don’t leave that misogynist.
As hard as it is, you need to let him go live his own life, and you go live yours, he is your ex for a reason, he doesn’t have to tell you his plans, and does not need to invite you to anything he has planned for your child, its sad that he isn’t showing unity with you for your daughter sake, but you need to see it as a positive thing, that he is making a big effort for her, which is what’s most important, you need to set yourself some boundaries with him, to have the best chance if healthy co parenting, sleeping with him will not make him want to be with you, and I get that may be helping you deal with the harsh reality that its over, and gives you hope that it means something more, but trust me, hes using you, ans you’re letting him, I’ve been there, you need to stop, and deal with the emotions and breakup, so you can move forward and be the best parent for your child, its hard, but I did it, and so can you.
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Tell him to pound salt he doesn’t deserve you or his child go do your hair makeup and dress nice show him what he lost
He’s your ex for a reason. Plan a party for you and your daughter. Y’all ain’t together anymore.
And it sounds like you may need some mental help. I’m saying this, because I have depression as well and I know how it is when somethin triggers it.
Is this your ex or your spouse? Because I don’t see ex anywhere in this.
It’s not that he’s ashamed OF you. It’s that he’s got another woman and you’re his side chick. He’s protecting himself from getting caught. Has nothing to do with you girl.
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Your better off without that looser. Move on with you child. Don’t let this hold you back, you are worth so much more ,never doubt that. He has no respect for you or your child if he is sleeping around. Tell him to hit the pavement and take care of your child and yourself. No one knows what the future holds, but I bet yours will be a whole lot brighter without that looser. Best of luck. You got this.
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Maybe you should not want to be seen with him!
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Were you married?? If not, stop calling him ex-Spouse.
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Lmao your post don’t make any sense, your saying spouse but reading it he’s seeing someone else. Maybe it’s you who hasn’t let go. Let go 
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Well if he is still sleeping with you, you aren’t his ex!! But since he has another GF, he is using you, as a bed buddy & that is all. As for him not wanting to be seen with you, why do you expect him too?? He also has the right to plan a separate party for his daughter, as you are too. Whenever i had a birthday party for my kids i did invite my ex husband & his girlfriend & her daughter over. And if they had my kids over their house around their birthday’s & if they had their own party for them. That also was ok And i didn’t mind if i wasn’t invited. It wasn’t about me, it was about them
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Your daughter deserves to go to her birthday party. He is her father, but I would tell the father you’re going too.
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Oh no boo, exes dont ‘NEED’ to do anything together.
You have attachment issues
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Petty yes. This party is about your child not you. You and him are no longer together so end the sex, you are allowing him to use you. As Elsa said…LET IT GO!!
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Have another party without him. Invite who you want too. And stop sleeping with him. She’s your daughter too.
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Leave, that’s what I would do
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It’s not that he is ashamed of you. He’s living a double life style and doesn’t want it to get out. You are deff way better off moving forward with out any physical relationship with him.
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Oh honey nooooo.
You are putting yourself and your feelings ahead of your child.
That’s rule #1 and you’re breaking it.
Nothing I read makes me believe that “he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you”. Zero.
What you wrote, tells me that he has moved on. He has a girlfriend and has EVERY. RIGHT to celebrate HIS child.
If you’re still sleeping with him then that’s your own fault. Stop it.
Put your child first. It’s time to grow up.
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So…he’s not your spouse he’s your EX with benefits
There’s so much to unpack here
For starters I’d be more concerned that he’s been creeping around on his current gf with you
I’m not sure how refusing to let your child’s FATHER celebrate her birthday with her is even plausible
That’s more about you and your feelings and not about the birthday girl
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I’m sorry he’s treating you like this. That’s hurtful and completely unkind/unfair.
Please don’t use your child as a pawn.
I understand the hurt. But the only person you’re hurting is your child by not allowing her to be with her father.
Obviously he’s not the best to you anyways because you guys split in the first place BUT your daughter is still half of him. Shunning him or even speaking poorly of him will do a lot of internal damage to your child.
He stiffed you. He did not stiff your child. Keep the problem between you and the father.
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Is he paying support for your daughter? If yes…I would let him and his whatever have a party for her…and you have a separate party for her without him…one other thing…stop sleeping with this loser honey! You owe him nothing. You need to move on to a happier place without him in it. The only thing you two should have in common now is your sweet baby.
He doesn’t want you there cuz he has a gf and has been banging you on the side. You are his side piece. You don’t invite your side piece to come celebrate anything with you and your gf & all your friends & family, even if the side piece is the mother of the child who’s bday you’re celebrating. Do you want insane drama? Because that’s how you get insane drama.
You need to cut this trash guy outta your life and be thankful he isn’t actually your man. Move on and find someone who isn’t just using you for sex and pretending to be your friend. 
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He’s not ashamed of you, he doesn’t want to screw things up with his new girlfriend by being seen with you, especially since he’s still sleeping with you. He’s a selfish pig and you need to want more for yourself.
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You just blatantly said you aren’t letting your child go to her birthday party her dad is throwing her bc YOU are hurt. This whole post screams you need to grow up.
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Sounds like you Need a REAL Homie.
You are his ex, so why would he be seen in public with you? I barely want to see my ex at pick up and drop off. 
You are going to have to venture out and create your own life for u and your daughter without him.
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Cut ties romantically. Continue to coparent. Have your own bday for the kids.
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Start working on yourself. To feel better about yourself. And leave him behind. Show him what he can no longer have!
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Where do these women find these men?
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Girl, you’re a whole ass queen and he ain’t shit. You let him have his party, don’t sweat the fact that he doesn’t want his FORMER side piece there with his girl. I say former because you’re gonna stop doing that, focus on yourself and being a good mother. Take your baby someplace fun and just enjoy yourselves. Screw that guy.
Get MAD. KICK HIM TO THECURB!
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Once you stand up for yourself , you will feel better and HE will get a shock!
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Leave to another state. Ghost him. Byyye!!! That’s just me though.
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Soooo… you are sleeping with your ex…upset he wont be seen and public with you…and hurt because he is planning a party with his current gf… ummmm…honey…you are the side piece…the other woman…you are technically having an affair with your ex…of course he doesn’t want to be seen in public with you. You need to seek help. You gotta work on that self respect…you are breaking your own heart. He sounds like a dirtbag.
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Don’t ruin her day because you weren’t invited…and why are you sleeping w someone who is ashamed of you or seeing someone else? 
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Do what you think is right. Forget him.
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Seriously…stop making it about you!
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This happens, people grow apart, the line between love and hate is thin, not to sound cliche…coparent as best u can and let this lady give kid a good day. If u do the coparenting thing right and set urself aside ur kid will have the best of both worlds no matter how much u hate each other…
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And you keep having sex why?
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Even though he sounds like a jerk, do NOT take our YOUR hurt feelings out on your child!
At the end of the day, he’s still her father who is wanting to be in her life and is planning a party for her and by not letting her go, you’re hindering HER relationship with her father.
I’m sorry, respectfully, when there’s kids involved, they come first. Even if your feelings get hurt.
Now if he was making your daughter feel neglected or something along the lines, then yeah I’d say you should protect her by not letting her go. But from what you described, that’s not the case.
If he’s that much of a jerk, seems like you dodged a bullet. Let him go(emotionally) and find someone who WILL treasure you and show you off.
But for goodness sake, don’t use your child!
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Wow….y’all aren’t a couple…he doesn’t owe you anything.
I did read this right, right? It did say ex?
Also, if you try to punish him by keeping yalls daughter away from him, you’re an awful person and extremely selfish. That’s why you need to remember this: He’s your ex, not your spouse. Y’all share a child, the child is not just yours. Punishing him, will punish the baby.
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All I have to say is there is two sides to every story.
While reading the first half I asked myself “why would she feel such way bc her EX doesn’t want to be seen with her” like i honestly wouldn’t care … but then I realized it’s bc you still have feelings because you still sleeping with him.
Kids aren’t pawns, nor are they bargaining chips nor possessions. You have ZERO right to withhold his child from him. Shame on you.
If you continue to see him. You are really silly. Show him the door.
I would stop sleeping with him and ignore him.
Men hate being ignored.
Dont punish your child thats horrible. You broke up he doesnt have to do anything with you anymore just co parent thats it
Sorry but he doesn’t have to do something with you. My son throws a birthday bbq for his son and there’s no way he would do something with the mother cause it would be noithing but drama. You need to stop sleeping with him and stop using your kid to get at him
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I never do my children’s birthday or holidays with my ex. You do tour own he does his and leave it at that. Get over it. He owes you nothing. Your just hurting yourself. Let him go.
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Oh honey, don’t sleep with him anymore and show up for the party
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