Children should nit have to suffer because ex do not get along don’t be petty she should be with her father and sound like he has planned something special for her stop being so selfish
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So you are ruining your child’s 1st birthday because you are still hung up on your ex? Keep being selfish and when your child gets older she will resent you for your petty bs.
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You told him she’s not going because your not invited?
That’s petty and honestly … shameful.
Why would you go to a party your ex is throwing? Let him enjoy his time with her. It’s normal to have 2 parties.
Feels like there is more to the story because that wouldn’t equal “ashamed of you” if that makes sense. He’s your ex, have your own party for her.
Now a bit of advice that will help you in coparenting… you are not important. Sounds harsh but hear me out
Your feelings are not important here, because your daughter is the priority. You’d keep your daughter from a loving family party because you weren’t invited? You’d let her miss out because your feelings are hurt? Something that has zero impact on her.
any choice in coparenting should be ONLY about her well-being, not wether or not you get something too.
Time to grow up.
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Sounds like he is only using you. Blind him with behind
I’d quit sleeping with him first off. Secondly he doesn’t “have” to do parties with you. It’s seems odd and selfish on his part, but I do co parent and to keep things simple and drama free we do separate parties but- the other parent is always invited with their significant other.
I wouldn’t just show up, and I wouldn’t keep my daughter from a day about her. Sometimes co parenting sucks. I have to sit on the sidelines and let my sons dads girlfriend take credit, because she truly does deserve it. It hurt at first, but three years later I realize she just loves our son just as much as we do.
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I’m stunned by these have a go at you comments, wheres your compassion? She’s basically saying he will happily be seen with the new gf but never with her even when they were together. Which I totally get why your upset. Then he’s still sleeping with you, which to me sounds like convenience rather than wanting you still I’m sorry to say, you thought you had a good friendship yet he’s treating you like a stranger when your the mother of his child! He’s being totally disrespectful of your feelings, it’s hard to let go if your still being intimate with him. My suggestion is, let him do a party, you do whatever to celebrate, even if it’s just a day out with you and your child, and stop sleeping with him, he’s taking advantage of you and your feelings for him. Keep contact to a minimum in regards to your child you have together, and move on hun because he’s not gonna suddenly treat you any better in the present nor future. Get over him and meet someone kind and considerate down the line when your ready to move on. If he tries to talk to you about anything other than your child, ignore ignore ignore and remind him your only interested in discussing the child thats it full stop. Goodluck and don’t forget, you deserve so much more and don’t settle for anything less!
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Is he Overlapping women ? Did I read this right?
Second, I think kids should have both parents and both should cut drama for the sake of the kids. Coparent that’s your job UNLESS you are causing drama…
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Dont ever use your child against the other parent. Its not her fault you feel this way. Let her have a party with him and be happy. Have your own damn party seperately!
Yea he using you. You’re better off without him but that is no reason to withhold custody
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You cannot take your daughter’s birthday party away bc of your feelings first of all. Second of all did you say you’re still sleeping with him and he has a Gf? Third it’s time to move on with your life and find someone who will proudly walk beside you.
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Hmmm, tough one. Firstly, it sounds as if you were already separated but you were still sexually involved. Stop that, a man can sleep with someone and have no feelings for them.
Secondly, I wouldn’t send my daughter if I wasn’t invited. Not because I’m petty but because my daughter is ONE. Yes, she’s with her father but who else is going to be there? Can she articulate properly if something was to happen to her? So no, she wasn’t going.
Finally, move on. Get some counseling, talk to your priest or pastor, religious leader, whoever you feel comfortable speaking with. Take some time and work on you.
For the record, my lo did not go a place without me until he could articulate proper sentences. It didn’t matter who it was, if I wasn’t there, he didn’t go.
Hope this helps hun…
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I get along with my step daughters mother enough to attend events with her, sit together and chat the whole time - but we always do our own birthday parties/events.
I understand you’re hurting that he appears to not want to be seen with you - but you can’t fix that, so find someone who isn’t.
But most importantly- don’t punish your child by removing positive interactions with others just because you’re not invited. That’s cruel, and she will resent you for it as she grows up.
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don’t let her go, go no contact, get a lawyer and file for full custody with visitation. Without a court order in place for custody he doesn’t even have to give her back. do not let this slime ball anywhere near your daughter alone
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Forget that he is ashamed to be seen with me mess. Pull up your big girl pants let him celebrate your baby with what’s her face. And you celebrate your baby even if it’s just you two( you an your baby) dont cout yourself out yet always remember he didn’t take time to meet and get to know someone new. You will
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Isn’t it funny how we f%$k shit up for our kids. This is petty.
I’m wondering if he actually said to her face that he is ashamed of her or if she is assuming this is how he feels. If both sides truly want what’s best for their child then they need to put all feelings aside, act like mature adults and make communication the number one priority.
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First of all stop sleeping w this loser!
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Oh darln ,
Respect yourself ,
You are worthy ,
But sadly letting him treat you like a doormat .
Block his selfish self entitled ass …
You deserve better than to be sleeping with someone else’s boyfriend , whether he is your ex or not .
Move on
Move up
And
Don’t look back .
Teach your daughter ,
She is worthy 
Personally, if it were me, I’d let her go and I’d throw my own party for him. If he’s going to make you feel as though he is ashamed to be seen with you, then he doesn’t deserve you. Fix your crown, dust yourself off, and stand up strong. You’ve got this.
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He’s not part of your life. Move on. Make friends. Open communication with him regarding your child. Get counseling to help you move forward
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Stop communicating with him. Make it strictly about the child and move on
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Stop sleeping with him number one. Next move on.Do something that will make you feel and look better.
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If he is your ex spouse quit sleeping with him. He is using you. He has moved on and so should you. Please take care of yourself and your baby. Celebrate separate from him. He sounds like a real creep to sleep with you and have a girlfriend. Love yourself and know that you deserve better than him
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My child doesn’t go anywhere without me
I am so confused…are yall together?? Are yall separated?? You said spouse then said he was seeing another woman…
Anywho…don’t take it out on your child. That’s cruel.
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Grow up to start and if you don’t feel comfortable don’t send her. However it’s her day sure you want to ruin it?
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Yeah. That sounds more like a punishment for your daughter than him. He is your ex! I know it’s really hard to tear yourself away from someone you share a child with but he sounds like a scumbag to be cheating on his girlfriend with you. Neither of you deserve the manipulation he is putting you through. &&& it is (unfortunately) your daughter’s father. You can’t tear her away from him if he is a good dad just because you’re upset. I really hope you & your family find peace 
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He’s seeing someone but yall are still sleeping together??? SMH. You sound like a bitter EX! Don’t ruin your daughters 1st bday over pettiness! But you should be allowed to be there also.
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Tell him if you’re not invited she’s not going. That’s so wrong! Take your daughter out and have a wonderful day together. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. You’re sleeping with him and get no say? HA! He’s trying to control you. Cut it off.
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Ok! I’ve lived and I’ve learned. Let him throw her a party. Let her go. If not you are only hurting your daughter.
Throw a party for your daughter. She doesn’t care who’s there and isn’t! You’re the important person! She doesn’t care if Karen or Sandra down the street come. She doesn’t care if Little Timmy is there. She doesn’t care if there is 59 people or just you. Momma trying and momma being there is the main thing! Get her a small cake and a little present or two. Have fun! Take pictures. This is what she will remember or see in the pictures. A strong momma celebrating with her.
I may be wrong but if he is still coming around and doing things with you, he isn’t embarrassed by you BUT trying to keep his secret from others because he is doing things he shouldn’t be. Basically getting his cake and eating it too! Maybe one day you can celebrate together. (I mean for the longest time I couldn’t with my ex but eventually it happened! ) but I had to sit and say what’s best for the children? How do I build that foundation and build from there. Eventually he would come to Christmas, birthdays etc and even bring his spouse. That will never happen if there is things between you two that’s a secret. So cut that out and only talk and do anything for the child. Don’t give up hope but keep building and reflecting on what and how you can do things for the better. It does take time and effort! It does take healing and feelings being taken out of the situation. You can do it! Just think of what is best for your daughter! (And maybe this is a blessing doing separate parties. It doesn’t sound like your ready to co parent and be separated)
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First, nothing about this indicates he’s ashamed to be seen with you. You’ve put that into your mind because you’re hurt. Second, its his daughter too. Not just yours. Third, you said you didn’t have an agreement of doing it together so its his choice how he wants to celebrate y’all’s child. Still invite him to yours. Start building that friendship now before it’s too late. Its not being petty, its selfish. You keeping her from that is wrong and you really need to figure out yourself before spitting fire.
If you’re depressed then go get some help. Raising a child will take a big toll on your mental health. It’s ok to talk to someone and take care of yourself. Life continues regardless if you’re down. Step up and start going girl. You’ve got this.
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You’re the side chick that’s why. Stop sleeping with him and blurring the lines
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Show up there anyways and drop her off, you have every right to meet who is going to be around your daughter. If he don’t like it to bad! But you should move on this guy is trash!
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Stop letting him use you as a human trampoline for starters… He’s not wanting you around because he’s afraid his new girl might find out your still sleeping together. Make your own plans with your daughter you can coparent without this scumbag in your life .Stop seeing him go find a real man when your ready to date again .
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Do what’s right for your child and send her to her birthday party. Its not about you. You need to let the relationship go and focus on coparenting.
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So your daughter is turning 1, I don’t see how she would understand enough to be hurt from this YET (to the ones commenting this is going to hurt her). Maybe if she were older and understood then I could see her maybe being upset about her dad treating you this way even though you are speaking as being on good terms. I completely understand separated parents do Separate for their kids, but how he has treated you hasn’t been very nice… I know the ones commenting on here to let him do this or that wouldn’t be feeling that same way had this of been them!!!
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Why are you still there? Leave his butt and get on with Your life
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Let him go! There are SO many fish in the sea. Find one that will respect you. However, respect yourself first & realize he is not someone that wants more than a booty call! If it’s a safe place for your daughter- let her go - in this world a child can never have too many people who love her 
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You actually don’t have a right to a birthday party your ex is throwing with his new partner. Many divorced couples have to deal with split parenting. He likely doesn’t want you there cause you’re sleeping with him and he doesn’t want to ruin his arrangement.
You should probably stop sleeping with your ex who’s in another relationship 
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Spend some time and effort on yourself so you feel good and confident again. Whether it’s getting a new hair color/style or losing a little weight. Don’t let this creep bring you down. And most importantly…Keep your legs closed. He doesn’t deserve you.
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You said you don’t have a big family and you do not have many friends. That’s what you need to concentrate on. Create a world for yourself that you love to live in. Take care of yourself so you will be happy. Stop concentrating on him. Let him be the dad without any sexual relationship with you. Work on yourself so he doesn’t have the power to make u feel this way.
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Kick him to the curve… Move on with your life once a cheat always a cheat… Let your child go to her party and find someone who would love and respect you for who you are
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Soooooo not okay. I’d tell that woman he’s seeing that you’ve still been sleeping with him. He sounds trashy and that has nothing to do with you. It says more about him than anything. He wants to have you as his side piece.
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You need to get together and cry out for God’s miracle healing for you. God has a plan for you and your children. Get in a church. God will show what you need to do. He loves and forgiveness for All our mistakes. Listen to your heart .
If he is your ex, not my business, but you really shouldn’t sleep with him unless you’re together. You say he’s your ex, that means you’re not together, which means he’s not ashamed to be seen with you, he just is no longer with you. Since he’s no longer with you, he’s allowed to date other people. I understand you wanted to do a party together. That’s a wonderful thing, and some people can come together for parties for the children. Sometimes that’s not possible because of your differences. Try not to take things personally. If you’re extremely concerned about this, open up the lines of communication. Tell him how you feel and try to understand him better.
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He’s your ex for a reason. Stop sleeping with him. Let your daughter go to the party. Don’t be petty. It’s ok to feel hurt. Make changes in your life because you cannot control his. Make friends. Go out. There are lots of mommy and me groups. Work on you. Create the life for you and your daughter that you will be proud of…this creates an attractive quality that attracts quality.
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What you are doing is wrong so do the right thing & it will come back to you
Let the child have her bday party. If he is a good dad let him do it. Cut off the sleeping together ties that you have with him. Dont let him use you like that. There are plenty of men in this world.
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It may not be because he doesn’t want to be seen with you, but it may because his new girlfriend is jealous. And maybe he’s trying to make it work with her and to curb her jealousness. However if you’re still sleeping with him maybe he doesn’t want it to slip that you two are still together in some way. I’ve learned the hard way, be cordial, do your own party for your daughter. Don’t hang onto him like he’s the last man on Earth. Let him go and live your life. Happy Living
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My daughter wouldnt go anywhere im not welcomed idgaf .
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Don’t use your child as a pawn.
#1… don’t expect to be sleeping with him anymore. #2… he’s your EX. He obviously moved on. You should to. and #3… Have your own birthday part for her! SHE’S the lucky one to have two! Now, go cry in your room. Away from your child. Don’t use her to get back at your EX. Learn to co-parent. It’ll only benefit your child.
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Start respecting yourself for one and stop sleeping with a man who has zero respect for you
- stop sleeping with your ex. 2)it’s not just your child correct? It’s his daughter as well? If so, he has every right to throw her. Birthday party without you there. You’re her mother,you can do the same, you don’t need a big family or a shitload of friends for a 1 year olds birthday party. 3) none of what you said makes it sound like he’s “ashamed” of you, it honestly sounds like you don’t want to let go of him and he’s trying to move on, so let him move on and you do the same he’s dating,so go meet someone or focus on yourself and ask yourself why it bothers you so much that he’s seeing someone else when you’re no longer together.
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All I read was, I have zero self worth and need this guy to validate me. If he’s an ex, don’t sleep with him. Maybe he doesn’t want you around to let slip to the new chick you’re still knockin boots. It’s not about his embarrassment, it’s about you allowing yourself to be played. He’s doing good for your kid, get over yourself.
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He’s not ashamed of you. He’s emotionally abusing you. His family probably knows he’s abusive as well. He doesn’t want you around them because they’ll support you or at least you may understand more that he’s controlling you emotionally. Ignore it! Celebrate your child without him. Just you & your boys. Let him be petty. Don’t let his behavior bother you.
You should not be ashamed! Sounds to me he should be! Coward to go behind your back!
Never introduced you to anyone he knows? But you have a child together… Girl it sounds like you were a side chick, probably one of many.