This is his child also do not transfer your fears to your daughter or keep them apart as you WILL regret it when she’s a teen. She is 2.5 she will not be traumatized by being with people who love her. BE THE ADULT.
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Fear is smoke to a fire. Your sub conscious is trying to tell you something. Even people who amicably separate have hidden problems. Usually the non custodial takes off with the child.
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Have him stay at yours allow him to make a pillow fort with her and have fun there.
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It doesn’t help anyone by not letting him have her. My kids see their dad over summer break and every other winter break. He lives in Virginia. Make a schedule and try to stick with it. Be thankful he wants to be in her life and that he is able and has the help there I’m sure.
I wouldn’t allow it. Don’t come around to see your kid or even call and can go multiple weeks. F that’s Christmas is the most special day to kids. You enjoy that with your kiddo! Invite him though see if he comes if not he doesn’t truly want to see her prob just trying to impress family like stated above 
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What does he do for work that hes only around that often? Some dads work oil fields or truck driving jobs so I’m not judging. But it is his daughter too. Soo he has every right to have her over for one night. And if it’s with his family at their house there is more than one supervising adult around. She won’t be traumatized by seeing her dad longer than a day visit. Allow this man to stay with his daughter. Those fears are exactly of those with couples that are still together and hire an overnight sitter. So just relax and take a night to yourself to get a break.
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If he doesn’t have her consistently he only wants her overnight at Christmas to spite you imo
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You should be allowing the child to sleep over at the father’s house. He has a right to a relationship with the child too. Children adapt really quickly to new ways. Your heartache and hurt is not that of the child. If you are SA based he can ask the court to assist in getting regular access. 2 weekends a month and every Wednesday night.
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Sounds like he just wants her on holidays to impress family members
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Tell him you and baby already made commitments to be elsewhere, Thank you but not today.
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Don’t turn it about you, let him get his child
Call him and talk about it. Have him talk with your daughter. Please !! She needs you both.
Communicate with each other daughter present. No arguments in front of her. She will grow up to be one of the strongest women you’ll know. 
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Why feel for him…your daughter’s well being is more important in any situation. Just saying, in todays world you can’t trust anyone with a 2yr old.
I’d let her go. You are always a phone call away. Talk with her and make it a positive situation, get her excited about how shes going to spend time with daddy and family. If you show her theres nothing to fear then it won’t be so bad on her. She may feel uneasy for a bit while there but if she is having fun and everyone is loving her she will become comfortable.
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It seems he only wants her when it’s convenient for him and that means he is not responsible enough for an overnight yet.
If there is no custody agreement in place then - no.
Until visitation is a regular schedule - no
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I see nothing wrong with letting her spend the night with HER DAD. This isn’t about you or him. Be the bigger person and put your child before you
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Sounds like you’re making it about you and not your daughter.
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You all have to get used to this situation regardless so you might as well start having her over there spending nights
Cant he take her overnight once before that as a test run?
At least he is wanting to take her, mine never did. Please don’t let that happen to her let them spend time together they need to have a relationship. As a Mom you will always worry, pack her favorite things and let him know that if he needs to bring her back home you will be there.
She won’t get used to her surroundings if you don’t let her go.
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I don’t feel a dad should ever have to ask permission too see his own child. Your blessed he’s active in her life
I’d say it depends on the circumstances. Was he a good dad before leaving? Did he watch her when he was around or leave that to you? How well do you know the family.
I’ve been in really bad situations as a kid and I know how terrifying it is from that side of things to be forced around people I don’t know and who don’t really care for me. I hate most holidays now because they were used as a chance to show off and one-up. No one actually cared about the kids. Just that they could brag about (whatever they set out to do).
But I know other people with the opposite situation where they were kept from loving, caring family who basically disowned the people who wouldn’t let them go.
No one situation is like any other. Only you can make that judgement call.
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If he hasn’t had her over night since you’ve split up, I would def be concerned.
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Go to court establish an actual custody order, if he doesn’t follow it, hold him to it.
In my state, there is this saying at friend of the court that they do not want to sever the relationship between parents and children unless it is absolutely necessary.
My sons dad and i have had our ups and downs for 3 years but every holiday, when it comes to our son, bad terms or good terms, we always pull through for him and he is almost 2 and a half.
So please, think about this and think about how making your daughter hate him isnt going too make you look better either.
Establish legal boundaries. Get a custody order. They establish who gets the child on holidays, and thats how you guys should do it if neither of you can decide on either parties. Handle it like adults, all feelings aside.
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sigh I feel he has the right to see his daughter. I am not sure your ages or if this is his first child but men are wired a little differently. Have you thought about the fact his visits are short and sporadic because he might be nervous and unsure about what to do with her and taking care if her? Also, Christmas would be different from the other visits because it is a big Holiday where close family get together. Your daughters cousins and other family would also be there for her to get to know. This would give him the opportunity to spend more time with her and bond and make him feel more comfortable. It could help lead him to more and longer visits.
You have your whole life to have her for Christmas. Why are you so traumatized that he left you?
Also, why no mention of what kind of father he has been during the 2.5 years y’all were together? If he’s been a good dad you have NO reason not to let her go and she knows who her father is by 2.5. Stop it.
If he takes her to his family for hours a day, two or three times a month, than she knows them. Let him take his child. Do you keep him posted about her, do you send him pictures and let him know how she’s doing?
My kids only see their father for a few days twice a year. And I’ve never ever denied him his rights to see HIS children. He is the father. I always keep him updated even if he doesn’t ask, and he never calls so there’s that but guess what, our kids love him.
Dads don’t have to continuously call or text to see how the kid is doing, if the child is sick or anything, you can easily message him and let him know too.
So he left YOU, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his child. Having a child with someone doesn’t make them stay. Let her go with her dad.
And no, if he doesn’t want to come to your house that doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to see his kid, maybe he just doesn’t want to be around you. my ex won’t stay at my house for holidays because he doesn’t want to be around me. I don’t hold that against him at all, I don’t wanna be around him either. 🤷
Talk with him, let her hear his voice and maybe do a video chat. Don’t keep her from him just because you are having issues moving on and excepting that he left you. 
Stick to your gut lady!
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It is human to adapt. Your baby will adapt to any environment as long as she gets reassurance from her dad, talk to him without making him feel he’s a dumbass. If he is asking for her, let him get her, u can’t build a bond with couple of scheduled visits. What I would give to give my daughter this option to be with her Daddy (In heaven, he was dysfunctional, but loved her more than anything). Set your feelings aside and look out for ur baby’s overall emotional and developmental growth. Hope all goes well💕
If you have 100 percent custody tell him to F##k off!!!
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