I am pregnant with baby number 4 from my ex-boyfriend. Long story short, he has broken up with me multiple times, claiming he doesn’t love me anymore. He has gone back and forth between his exes and me. He ends up coming back to me, blaming it on his PTSD from when he came back from the military. I honestly thought he had changed. We have been together for five years well recently he broke up with me again because we were in a stressful situation living in a hotel room because of losing our jobs due to covid. Every time something gets hard, he leaves and moves in with his parents. We’ll I have been letting him be with our kids and trying to be a good co-parent. He started dating this other woman just a week after leaving me. Come to find out, he has been cheating on me with her since last year. Now he wants to move in with her just three weeks after meeting her in person and wants to take our kids with her, and I say no because I don’t know her so he gets mad and accuses me of being unfair. He also wants to be in the delivery room with me when the baby is born but I am so hurt I honestly don’t want him there. I am so hurt I just don’t want to make decisions while I’m hurting because he has been lying to me. But I just don’t know what to do?
Delivering a baby is stressful enough. If him being there is gonna add stress 100% tell him no.
Easy: Just don’t tell him your in labor
And move on from his toxicity
Do wat feels best for you.
tell him you can see the child after he/ she is born if your not ok with him being there no need to stress u out more
Tell hospital staff his name and a description of him and tell them that you do not want him in the hospital/delivery room under any circumstances.
It’s your birth. YOU are the one that carried and you are the one that has to do this. Tell him he needs to start getting used to being the part-time Dad he is making the choice to be by leaving you all to be with another woman. Hold your ground. Get yourself a doula who will make sure your wishes are adhered to while you are in labor so all you have to worry about is that baby.
Delivering a baby requires someone who will reduce your stress, not add to it. I personally wouldn’t let him. I also wouldn’t let my children around this woman until I’ve met her.
Just because your hurt doesn’t mean it’s right to keep him from seeing his child be born! That’s petty as hell
Girl never forget your self worth, I would personally not let him be there for the delivery, I feel like all it would do is stress you out I would have someone else be there to support you, and I would let him go, most states you can go to court and talk about how many women he is with on and off all the time and theyll most likely say that he’s got a unstable living condition, do what’s best for you and your kids but you definitely deserve better
Tell him to take a long walk of a short cliff
You’re the patient not him. I wouldn’t let him be there seeing as how he’s doing things to add stress to your pregnancy and hurt you
Trust me you don’t want him in there. I would do anything to go back and have my mom in there with me if I could
If him being there is gonna put you in a uncomfortable situation I would not let him in he would just come and see the baby afterwards and that’s it . I don’t blame you for being ticked off for him cheating and no I wouldn’t want my kids there niether I’d he just moved in with her I know eventually If he stays with her most likely they will have to go but I myself wouldn’t let them until I was made to .
none of this is normal
Ultimately up to you but I personally would still let him but he can stand in corner and stfu. If you can only have one support person where you deliver then no I wouldn’t let him. He’s ruined the chance of being in the first spot lol. But feelings aside he’s a the father.
Just give birth & dont tell him until after. He can come see the baby after the baby is born. You can also tell the hospital you dont want him there & they wont allow him.
It’s both your baby that will be born…if you can get past the hurt let him be there…he isn’t going to change. Move on and let it be a moment that ur child can cherish in the future…let him go and be happy
Delivering a baby is a very personal time and given he cannot respect you as a woman then I wouldn’t let him in the room tell him he can be at the hospital and after the baby’s born he can come in the room an cut the cord no need for him to be in with you through the whole thing if he has no respect for you…your not together there for it’s no longer his privelage.
It’s his baby also I would let him be there don’t you need him there to sign papers? Your baby will ask about his birth story. And ask who was their. But with covid going on is he going to stay the whole time or leave? Idk if you want someone to stay there the whole time during your stay.
Meet the woman he is with before you leave your children with him. As for him being in the room, it’s whatever you’re comfortable with.
I almost didn’t let my ex in the room with me. But I knew I didn’t want to be the person who took that moment away from him. But ultimately he was supportive. If you know he’s not going to be, absolutely don’t. It’s your delivery and your choice.
Birth is stressful enough without adding a toxic person in the mix. Give birth without him and let him meet the baby when you feel comfortable and then realize that he isn’t going to change and move on…
Umm honey I don’t know what your hospital covid rules are but here they are whoever goes in must stay on the unit or they can’t come back in until mother and baby are released. Also only 1 person in with mom and baby the entire time. You might check out that part… Would you want him there the entire time? What if you picked him as your one person then he up and leave again when sheet gets real? I’d pick your favorite person the one who supports you the most. You can also decide to do this solo…for the resting part and maybe a day or two to think or not think whichever you choose. I’d probably pick my mom.
The person in your room during labor is supposed to be there as your support. This has nothing to do with him or the baby. He can see the kiddo afterwards like everyone else. You need someone in there to support you. Labor is hard enough without drama and emotional stress. Tell him no and get your momma, sis, or a friend in there for YOU!
If he stresses you out he does not belong.
I wouldn’t let him in the room. I’d pick my mom or a friend that’ll be supportive. I also wouldn’t be letting my kids live with a stranger. Foh. You’re not being bitter by protecting yourself and your kids.
I wouldn’t 💁 that’s alot of negativity in a situation where you need NONE of that!
He is the Father. He should be able to meet the baby after it is born if he wants to. But your birth? You are the patient. It’s critical you are not stressed and have all the support you need - he has no “right” to be there, he has a right to wait outside and meet the baby once it’s born.
U do whats healthiest for you, baby, and kids!!! Point blank!!! Thats it!!!
So I left my child’s father when I was like 2 months pregnant. He told me I couldn’t date. I couldn’t sleep with anyone else. He told me what our child would be doing when they grow up, what school, what activities. He told me he’d do drugs with them if that’s what they wanted to do. Fast forward to delivery day. Was being induced. Definitely didn’t let him in the room because he would have told me I was doing it wrong in some way. I also didn’t want him seeing me vulnerable at the time. My boyfriend, who I knew for two years prior to dating (started dating about 3/4 months of me being pregnant) was in the delivery room with me. Him and the child’s father have been apart of my babies life since day one.
If you know he’s going to cause you stress, in an already stressful situation, then take someone you can trust and he can see the baby when you come home. I was emotional and cried a lot. I was tired and so was baby. Among other complications and things. You’re VULNERABLE during this. Take a friend or a parent.
need to stop going back to him and having kids with him hes a creep get a custody and cs order
Let him in… your mad right now (understandably)
But one day you will find a good man and this will be water under the bridge.
Theres only ONE birth day… I couldnt imagine someone taking that one day from me even if the mistakes were my fault
Co parent with him, unless kids are unsafe, I personally wouldn’t let him in the room with me, good time for a new start, for you but he’s still got a right to be a father
What you need to do is be the strong independent mother you need to be for your 3rd going on 4th child and tell this clown to hit the bricks.
And NO u don’t want him in the room with you… Why would you? Why does he deserve that? Why would you put yourself, the mother in ANOTHER stressful situation with him? Think… Not about the new gf… Just think in general about it put her aside.
Its your baby don’t allow him in but with how your situation seems I’d probably send them to gramas or something when you deliver. Hopefully y’all have a custody agreement written out otherwise he can jus take them till court.
I understand you’re hurt but he broke up with you not your kids. I personally think it’s petty to keep him away because it sounds like you’re only considering not letting him be there based on the fact that he has a girlfriend now because even you said you were letting him be around the kids and taking them until he met her
Baby #4, broken up multiple times, no job and living in a hotel, keeps going back to his parents… girl… TF ARE YOU DOING? Let’s be honest here, are you really looking for sound advice to follow? 
It’s 50% his child I feel like he should be given the opportunity to see his child be born that is not just an experience for you but for him as well. Its not about you it’s not about him it’s about what yall created together this beautiful life. You both will have to co parent for the rest of this child’s life.
Your delivery your choice… I personally did give birth alone with my second child due to reasons like this and more … I also didn’t put his last name on the birth certificate… 2 years later I still have no regrets of my choice…
Do not let your storm get your child wet.
Let him experience his childs birth. Its his child too. Not just yours.
Afterwards figure out custody and go from there.
Toxic or not, your emotions are separate from his relationship with his child
Don’t allow it and do not list him as the father. It will cost him legal fees and paternity tests to get on there. You won’t get child support until he fights you… the only downside. In the end, you will receive it if he fights you for it.
This is hard but if it is something that will make you uncomfortable don’t do it but allow him to be outside the door so he can meet baby right after when you can cope with it.
He sounds like he’s playing all of y’all. But he is the father as bad as you may desire to mix him out of your life, if he is not an abusive father than you should let him be in the child’s life. Just think about of it was your mom pregnant with you and your dad was an ex what would you want her to do
You have no say so on who was at the house when the kids go to visit him unless there is proven drug use or abuse but as far as the delivery room goes you don’t have to let him into the delivery room with you at all but you can’t deny him seeing his kids.
Hell no! That person is your support person…he is not it!!!
I speak from experience…i went thru my entire pregnancy alone and told the father he wasn’t allowed (still legally married too)…& 12yrs later I do not regret my decision. This is YOUR choice…no one else!!!
Go file for custody and child support and Move on!!!
It’s not fair to you nor the kids especially to see mom/dad back and forth. Then involving new partners etc.
Best thing to do is let go and cut the toxic out of your life.
He can be a dad and not be with you. The cycle will never end, because he knows he can leave and you’ll take him back whenever. He needs to grow up
Your fault you let him do this.
I personally would tell him he could hang out at the hospital when your laboring and he can get called in when its time to push so he can see the birth and then once baby is all clean…you can have him leave or invite him to stay and help you in recovery. If he’s a good father to the kids…he should be allowed to see the birth.
Do not let him in the room. He doesn’t deserve to be there. Have someone there who loves you and cares about you. That isn’t love. Stay away from him and don’t let your kids around this woman. Doesn’t sound like he is very stable. Put yourself and your kids first.
Don’t let what he did to you interfere with him being a dad
You should let him in. Hes the dad
Your body; your choice. Always. 
Don’t tell the baby daddy anything, find someone who’s gonna support you through the birth that you trust and they love and respect you. Stressful enough giving birth but adding more to your emotions its not something you need at the time baby is coming. Talk with your OB with your situation to on your delivery and who’s gonna be there and your feelings are important for a fast recovery, stay strong. I did the mistake twice to have baby daddy come for the delivery and it was horrible I had depression from it all, I cried so much because of how I was treated but I also had my strong support from my Mom n sis different dates of birth they help me not be so down
Don’t listen to everyone here saying it’s half his, he’s the dad BS.
It’s your body, your choice. When you give birth you need a person who will support you not bring you stress!!
Like the saying in Spanish goes “Mejor sola que mal acompañada”
He can come in afterwards, but while you’re in labor and everything, he needs to be in the waiting room. You should be focused on you and not the shit he’s pulling. You could tell him right when you’re about to push and he can come up after.
I Understand Not Wanting To Take That Moment Of Your Baby Being Born From Him, But Being In Labor Is Already Stressful Enough. Especially Now, During Covid. Do What Makes You Feel Comfortable. Have Someone There Who Can Make You Comfortable And Support You During Labor. But Don’t Take That Moment Away From Him Out Of Spite Because You’re Hurt.
That’s not his choice and that’s a very very personal moment for you seriously if you don’t feel comfortable say no and stand your ground !! Also think about getting custody before it’s already out of hand and don’t let him sign that birth certificate if you think he will try to run with your new baby
File for custody and I wouldn’t allow him in room during delivery. He can be there and they can bring him back when you’re cleaned up and baby is done with everything.
Ma’am please don’t let him in the delivery room with you. If you choose to let him in the babies life after it’s born that’s on you. But do not stress yourself out by allowing him in during birth. He doesn’t deserve it and you don’t deserve the stress.
Have someone of your choice there that YOU feel will help support you and ease your stress on the day. The only person who NEEDS to be there for the Delivery/birth is you as YOURE the patient. That entire moment is yours and yours alone to make the choice of whos with you. Noone, absolutely noone including another biological parent gets “rights” or is “allowed” to be there without your say so. regardless of what people tell you its 100% your choice, if you feel uneasy with the idea then dont do it and dont feel guilty for putting you first… Labour can be very stressful and in some cases potentially life threatening, your body is the one doing all the work in that moment and in such a vulnerable moment you need to do what is best for YOU to be able to do what you need on the day. He can wait to see bubs once youve finished what you need to do just like everyone else. Its not about who wants to see the baby born. Its your body, health and emotions that’s exposed and in labour, not a broadway show.
That sounds like my exe who was is like that.
Letting him be in the delivery room has nothing to do with you or him, but most definitely that baby, someday they might ask about there birth story and if the baby’s siblings had dad there it will hurt the baby to know they didn’t have dad there
You can let him be there if you want him to be it is his baby too. Definitely move on though otherwords youll keep getting hurt. What ive learned through experience is its best to do what is best for the kids not about ya’lls relationship. Take into consideration whats best for kids. Its best for kida if your happy and thats only if you don’t get involved emotionally with him and itll be easier to let the kids go with him without emotions getting involved.
Been their dont that by the way leave him !! And find a good man you might have babies but their are good men with good jobs who will love you and be truly faithful obviously you are not in the condition to date ect but in good time you will find not only a good life partner but an amazing step daddy 
I know from personal experience it was hard at first because I was scared and question my ability I was afraid I couldn’t make it I was afraid to be alone but years later I am soooo greatfull I got the Courage to leave you can do it !!
I never let my ex in when my daughter was born I do not lose sleep over it
The stress of labor is more than enough for you… you need peace in the delivery room not stress and irritation which is what he will be… sorry but he doesn’t actually have a right to be there technically. It is your delivery and he can not force his way in to that
Its YOU giving birth. He certainly does not need to be in the room during it. The person in the room is the support person for you. Id say let him come in right after to see the baby, but otherwise dont let anyone make you feel bad. Hes putting you through hell and stress while you’re carrying his child. He deserves to see his children, but when hes made the choices he has, do not for one minute feel guilty for having boundaries & doing what makes you comfortable. He made his bed & his choice long ago… & please, dont ever go back. You deserve so much better❤️. Sounds like a manipulative person & you do what is best for you & your kids. It is no longer your job to worry about his feelings.
Don’t allow anyone who causes you stress in your room. He can see your baby after. If he loved you he wouldn’t have cheated. His loss. Don’t feel bad.
Your the one having the baby. Your the one in the most vulnerable spot that you will ever be in. You decide for yourself.
The person in your room is your support person. They are supposed to help you.
You need to be as comfortable & less stressed as possible when delivering. He’s not going to allow that. Your choice. He doesn’t get to be there. I wouldn’t tell him baby is born until after you’ve left the hospital. You don’t need that stress. I’d keep his name off the birth certificate as well.
Girl PTSD is his excuse to do you wrong and then come back and then do it all over again. Those babies are yours and if you want to keep them safe and sound retain full custody of them and don’t allow him to let another woman that he barely knows and you don’t even know step in and be anything to them. If you don’t want him in that delivery room he has no business in there - after all he has moved on from you now let him go permanently and go thru court for visitation for him and the kids. YOU and YOUR KIDS deserve more than he is willing to give and being a mom you should never feel used or be seconds to anyone. Get your own place for you and your children and don’t allow this man back in YOUR life but go the legal route for him to be legally in his kids life - I would have left long ago but love does weird things to you but you shouldn’t be hurting ever you should be over the moon becoming a mommy again…honestly I would walk away and close that door permanently behind me. Good luck in whatever choice you make sweetie and congrats on this pregnancy.
Am I missing something? he cheats repeatedly putting your health at risk, leaves you when your pregnant, moves in with a woman he’s only known in person for a short time, folds up and moves in with his parents when life gets stressful, and now is demanding to attend the birth? Wow the very fact that your even considering his wishes qualifies you for sainthood, I’d send him down the road for some much needed pschological potty training, good luck to you and your children
Loser. No way mamma take care of you
Cut off contact unless it’s done through a court. Do not let anyone in the delivery room that you’re not completely comfortable with. You and the kids deserve better and I think you know that.
I’m sorry. He helped make that baby it is his right to
I’m sorry. He helped make that baby it is his right to
Its your day ! …you make the decision
Hell naw. Don’t let him take the kids into an unfamiliar situation. Don’t let him bait you. Don’t let him in the delivery room if you are uncomfortable. And don’t let him make you feel bad about any of it either. He made his bed, let him lie in it!
Hell FUCKING NO. next thing you know the home wrecker will wanna be there too
Tell him to hit the road jack end of discussion
he lost the right to that decision because of his actions. Period. No, go be with her and wait for the announcement, and then wait til I get you for child support too. A man isn’t a man if he’s not supporting his entire family—including the woman and children he’s been part of. Running off and wants to play daddy? Hell no.
Dump his sorry ass!!!
He doesn’t need to be in the room with you if you two aren’t together. He can wait until the baby is born.
I wouldn’t let him. You will be so stressed and so will the baby if he is there. You also said ex BOYFRIEND not Husband. Since it is a boyfriend you don’t have to give the baby his last name nor put him on the birth certificate right away. He wants to take the kids to a new house tell him to take you to court. Good luck.
Tell him the hospital won’t allow him there during covid. You’re allowed one person and want it to be your mom or something. Do not let him guilt you into this. It’ll ruin your delivery and time with baby. Think about you mama.
You need to feel comfortable and supported while giving birth. If he doesn’t make you feel that way then you are absolutely right to tell him no!
I would let him see the baby being born, but only let him in right before and he leaves after. Don’t put him as the dad and girl leave him alone! You deserve better, he’s not gonna change.
Don’t let him in there and honestly cut him off until you’re ready to speak to him again. But dear lord… No matter how bad he hurt YOU don’t put him on child support unless he is absent in the children’s lives. Child support will make it so much worse.
Was he there for your other kid’s birth? Sorry to say but it is no longer about you anymore, unfortunatelyhe moved on. You said he’s been cheating but you decided to have another baby with him. It is now about your children. If you don’t think you can be civil and co-parent then I suggest you go to court. No matter what your kids need their father just as much as they need their mother.
Here’s my thing, father or not, you want your time in labor and delivery to be calm, relaxing and surrounded by support. If he is not that for you and cannot provide that kind of environment for you then he shouldn’t be in there…he can see baby right after delivery.
Not if u don’t want him there!!! Pray you find your own strength and put ur children first…he is a sperm donor and a user, nothing more.
Nope don’t let him in. You need to focus on yourself and bringing your baby into this world. You don’t need anymore stress. Let him go and you focus on raising your babies. Not saying take them away from him but let him go as a partner or future partner for good. You deserve better
Regardless of what is going on with you as exes and your hurt feelings he has a right to be at the birth of his child. YOU decided to keep getting pregnant by him when you knew how he is. STOP GETTING PREGNANT BY A MAN WHO KEEPS LEAVING YOU AND STOP TAKING HIM BACK.
I’m so sorry that you are hurting. This is the type of stress that can be harmful for you and baby. You need too; If you haven’t already get full custody of the kids. I wouldn’t let him be in the delivery room. Move on from this stressful situation and worry about you and that bundle of joy.
It would be a no for me. It’s a stressful day and you just don’t need him adding to it, if you don’t want him there. Don’t feel bad at your decision, what would he do if it was him? He’d have his new girlfriend there 
Personally I would have him be in the room because if it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be having that baby. He deserves to be in there mama, I’m sure it will still be a beautiful moment babe.
Labor is a big thing and you need to feel confident and comfortable and it’s supposed to be a happy time and if him being there is going to ruin that for you don’t let him and as someone else already said tell hi the doctor won’t let anyone in with you
Nope. He can see baby after. And keep his hoe at home.
Don’t let anybody be there that will bring your mood down girl. Sending you hugs. I’m sorry that he is making you feel miserable when he should be trying to keep you happy and comfortable.