Hi well I had a question, I have two kids a 1.5-year-old boy and an almost-four-year-old girl when I was pregnant with my second I left their dad due to cheating well we were living in Mexico with him, and when that happened I moved back to Colorado he stayed with the girl and had their son a month ago he called me today saying that him and his wife thought it was better for him to sign away his rights since he is on their birth certificates and I need signed letters from him for like passports, school, traveling, etc. and he doesn’t want any more contact with us I said yeah it was better that way since he doesn’t call or help or have seen my kids a year. My question is how do I start that process? Do I have to get a lawyer? Can he be removed from their birth certificates and have his last name removed too? And if it’s possible to remove his last name, should I? I don’t think it’s fair to do that to my kids, but my family is saying by signing his rights it means he doesn’t care
You have to have a step parent willing to adopt them before a father can sign their rights over
I think your best bet would be to get a lawyer because they will know the laws where you live. As for changing their last names if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with them why should they have his name. When you talk to the lawyer I’d ask about that process as well. It’s better to do it while they are young before they really know their names. Then there would be less confusion
If he wasn’t married to you, he may not have any rights period. Don’t let him fool you in the trap where he shouldn’t support his children. He doesn’t want to be caught up financially, the only thing he needs to sign for is maybe a passport and that’s it.
The courts just dont sign over rightscthat easy he will have to be served papers and he have to sign off on last name
No just Get a lawyer let him know what was said and have called the proper documents you have a court hearing and he’ll his rights taken away
Best bet check your state laws. Tell him if that’s what he wants then it’s up to him to do. Not you. So in the long run you can show the kids he gave up on them his choice not yours
Go to the court house and file for it. They will give
You what paperwork you need. If he’s willing to sign you don’t need a lawyer. I never had a lawyer going to court for custody stuff. You can change their last name just ask the courts after that case is done with how to go about it.
Get an attorney. Without a step parent it is a little harder, but it is possible! Absolutely hire someone to help you, or you’ll go insane.
I’m in this process (but with a step parent).
He is still obligated to financially support the kids he made
Wasn’t this already posted a week or two ago? 
I’ve seen post before… like recently…
Every state has different laws but signing their rights away does not necessarily exempt him from his responsibilities depending on the state you live in. You should speak to a lawyer usually first consultation or 30 minutes is free. ( not all lawyers do this so inquire first)
If you’re also on ANY state aid, Medicaid or food stamps here can’t sign off… i wouldn’t let him and i would make him pay support. And it’s a bonus he’s too far away for visits
Usually the courts do not approve of the father signing away his rights unless you have a husband who wants to adopt them. They believe that the children deserve to have 2 parents legally responsible for their care financially and won’t let one sign off unless another is petitioned to pick up the responsibility
In Wisconsin- you need someone else to adopt them.
What’s going on here is he has a new family, and his new GF/wife doesn’t want him giving any of his time or money to his old family. He is, in effect, telling you he doesn’t want the kids, doesn’t want to be a part of their lives, and doesn’t want to get caught up in child support issues. He doesn’t want to be financially responsible for your kids. And his new GF/wife is pushing him to cut all ties.
Get an attorney.
He can give up custody and let you have full custody but he can only sign over his rights if there’s somebody in place to take them AKA a stepparent… There has to be somebody in place ready to adopt those kids in order for him to sign over his rights otherwise just tell him to sign over full custody to you
My first step would be to get a custody agreement in place. Get full sole legal custody of them that way If they wont let him sign away his rights for any reason you dont need shit from him no letter, no permission. Not sure which state your in but I’d definitely talk to a family lawyer most have free consultations and can point you in the right direction. P.s. screw him. I’m sure you and your kids are better without him, he’s missing out.
Is this copypasta??
I’ve seen this exact post before in here word for word…
Idk how it is where you are at. But i am in texas and you cant just sign ur rights away. You will have to be married then have stepdad to adopt the children. It will still take awhile and it cost alot if money to do all that.
He is trying to get out of potential child support, dont let him off the hook even if you don’t need the money. He can sign full custody or sign off on visitation and write a letter for all of the things you mention.
Take his ass for support and make him pay. Looks like he wants the easy way out.
In Indiana they won’t let a father sign rights away unless another man is adopting the child. I wouldn’t do it and take his ass for child support. They will garnish it from his check. He shouldn’t get to just skip out on his responsibilities.
Yeah this is his scam to try to get out of child support, I would have him sign to legally change their last name (if it’s important to you) and then file for child support. Let the courts decide what to do about his rights
Talk to a good lawyer to make sure everything is done right
No advice but your situation is really sad and I’m sorry you and your babies had to go through this. Wishing you three the best.
So your letting a dead beat off the hook ? Fuck that he needs to support thise kids so my taxes dont.
The only way he will be allowed to sign over his rights is if you get married and you have somebody in line to adopt the children otherwise he cannot opt out on the responsibility of his kids… now if he chooses not to be in their lives that’s on him however he still is obligated to help support his children financially till they’re 19.
He can’t just sign over his rights. You can change the kids last names if he agrees. He’ll have to sign papers. Check with your court. He can give you sole custody. A lawyer can write up papers saying that you make all decisions for your kids. Idk anything about passports. But you don’t need his permission to enroll them in school, travel etc. He can fight you in court & such but it doesn’t sound like interested in that. I’d talk to a lawyer about how to get sole custody. It could be as easy as getting the paperwork & mailing it to him certified. I had to hire a lawyer though.
It depends on the state honestly. I went through my ex terminating his rights. I’m in texas. I was not married when the judge signed the paperwork.
In Iowa you cant sign rights away without someone stepping up to the plate. I’m going through this now and filed on my own as I do have someone to adopt but learned you need an attorney.
You can always see if a family member or friend would adopt. Also I’d change their last if can. He clearly doesnt want to be there for them so he doesn’t deserve for them to carry his name.
Maybe if you would’ve married to him, before you could take him to the cleaners in a divorce!
Yea it would be a no from me. Child support.
Why let him get out of his legal obligation though? He sounds like a real POS
File against him. Make him pay .child susport
Idk the process but remove his last name as well. He’s abandoned them. Sue for child support if possible.
This same question was posted on this page yesterday or the day before.
This can be a little tricky…Were the kids born in Mexico or in the states? I ask because the law of signing over his rights and still being financially responsible for the kids may not apply if they were born in Mexico… But it you guys were initially started your life here and kids born in the states you have a better chance of the law upholding him to be financially responsible still even with his rights taken…either way good luck to you
You don’t want anyone in your babies life that doesn’t wanna be there! So let him sign over rights… get a lawyer.
I wouldn’t allow it to happen. Don’t allow him because if you are ever in a bind and want child support, he won’t legally be obligated to pay.
You have to have a DNA test first to prove he is their dad, a letter from him acknowledging the child is his and then a legal form signed by him giving up his rights.
I don’t know anything about the legal process, but if I were in your situation I would not take him off the birth certificate. I don’t think he gets removed from it and I don’t think you can remove him without someone to replace his name or a dna test showing he isn’t the father. Your kids have a right to know who their father is, and if he doesn’t want them in his life, then they at least deserve to know his name and have it documented that he is in fact their father.
Don’t remove him from the birth certificates. Your children deserve their legacy. But yes, he can sign away his paternal rights. You may want a lawyer to be certain of your rights should he ever attempt ri change his mind.
He only wants to sign off so he doesn’t have to pay child support.
That’s awful… Im so sorry. He’ll regret it when the kids get older and confront him! Go to court, get child support!
Get that child support. Don’t let him off so easy.
I might would think about changing their last names. As little as they are, they won’t think twice about it right now. And when they’re old enough to understand you can gently explain it to them.
I have been a dedicated dad my whole life got divorced from my first wife but never gave up on my son. Married my wife now of 35 years have two kids with her and 3 grandkids between my first and second kids love them all. If he doesn’t want the responsibility someone someday will so get rid of the pos and continue your life and raise your babies good luck 
It’s not that easy. The court won’t let him sign his rights over since there is not another man to take over the father’s rights.
That ass is trying to get out of paying child support.
If you initiate it,then you cannot get child support. As$#@!& is trying to trick you so you cannot get child support from him.
He will still have to pay support even if he terminates his rights. He probably doesn’t know that
1- your family is right he doesn’t care…
2- if he doesn’t care let him do all the work to give up rights
3- they don’t need the last name of a man that doesn’t want them
For all you people telling her not to let him sign his rights over, so she can get child support… are you serious???
This man wants NOTHING to do with his own babies. No amount of money will ever be worth keeping any kind of string attached.
Get a lawyer, to make sure you do things right and legally binding. And let him disappear. If you are struggling financially there are so many programs that can help.
I wish you the best!
Go to the court house
I personally would let him sign them away if he wants. No chance of him trying to weasel back into the childs life in 5 or 10 years. If he doesn’t want his kids that’s on him.
I would not agree to that. He can decide to not have a relationship with him but he is still responsible for his welfare. Just keep loving him momma and dont ever talk shit about dad. He will grow up and make those decisions on his own. Dad may change his mind later in life. I pray that he does. Either way it’s not your decision to make for him and it may get twisted and turn against you if you agree to it. I wish you both all the love in the world.
Definitely contact a lawyer, they can give you the best advice. When he relinquish his rights remove ALL traces of him. Take him off the birth certificate, change their last names, etc. Your family is right. He doesn’t care. It’s not fair to walk out of your kids life and say you never want to see them again.
Hopefully one day you will find a really good man who will love them as if they were his own. Then you never know, he may want to adopt them​:woman_shrugging:t4:
You can get full custody he wouldn’t have to sign any more legal papers over the kids. But most states won’t allow
Talk to a lawyer they can give you the best advice on what you can and cant do good luck
He probably only wants to sign his rights away so you can’t come after him for child support. He sounds like a vindictive asshole. I guarantee you he’ll want to see his kids again and when he does he’s going to claim that you kept them away. I’d definitely get an attorney, I believe that there’s a way he can sign his rights away but still be financially responsible. Plus you can have something drawn up stating that you have sole custody of your kids. Also you don’t need him for doing anything with your children…including a passport there is a form you can fill out for exigent family circumstances so if plan on traveling out of the country plan on it taking a little while longer for a passport. Don’t let him get away with doing this, there may come a time you need to get some money from him.
Contact a lawyer if you’re able, but at least do some research for Colorado. In the state I live in, doesn’t matter if the dad signs away his rights, it doesn’t release him from the financial obligation (child support). So figure that out first, and if it’s the same case in Colorado I’d let him sign because you are still entitled to support and he would have no say in anything that has to deal with the kids.
Sounds like he doesn’t want to pay child support to me and thinks if you do this th ed n he and his wife will have a easy life. Sorry but I wouldn’t sign his rights away. Your child deserves to have his father’s name on his birth certificate and with luck one day will wake up and be a part of his child’s life. You never walk away from a child
Good lord I wish my daughter could get so lucky with her son & BD…
Yes, get a lawyer to make sure its legal. They will send him paperwork, he will sign, courts will “so order it” and you & your children can move on…the lawyer will advise you on name changes and such.
Believe it or not, this man is doing you a HUGE favor if thats how he feels about your children. It could always be worse & you could be caught in a custody battle with a man who wants nothing more than to win his “property” 
For all those saying he doesn’t want to be responsible for child support, can she even get child support ordered for someone who is living in mexico? I would talk to a lawyer about him terminating his rights.
Wasn’t this already posted?
What wan would want to be with a man that’s 100% ok with abandoning his first 2 kids. Jesus… let him sign his rights away. But I dont think they take him on the birth certificate. And he’d prob still have to pay child support for them. Unless you get married and the man adopts them.
I would definitely put him on child support and then get full custody. Why should you carry all of the burden and he gets off Scott free? That’s just me tho.
I wouldn’t do nothing yep hes a scumbag and it’s sad but hes still their father no matter what dont give into anything he wants that’s what he wants you to do and whether he likes it or you I would get support money for the kids
Most states won’t allow either parent to sign away rights unless someone else wants to adopt them. So you can get full custody but he is still financially responsible for the kids wether he visits or not. He is on the birth certificates so he is on there for life or you find someone to adopt them.
To add we live in Indiana
Telling you he’s signing his rights away is telling you he doesn’t care for his own children or want and involvement go to the court house and yes you can change there last name and whatever else you want to do after he signs the paper work I’m sorry you have to go through with this and so will the children as they get old enough and want to know things my prayers are with you
He want to do it, let him take on the task. Let him shell out the $$.
1st off, F him!! File for emergency custody. 2nd, you didn’t lay down and make them babies yourself PUT HIM ON CHILD SUPPORT!!! The only reason his wife wants him to do this is so they have more money for their children and nothing for yours. You’d be a damn fool to let him do this to you and your children.
Idk with him living in Mexico, but many states won’t let dad sign over rights unless you have someone to adopt, because they want someone to come after if you apply for assistance based on the fact that you’re living on a single income. Even if you don’t use assistance. You can’t guarantee you won’t ever need it. They want to be able to blame him and take his money. But if he lives in Mexico, they can’t just take his tax return, so… 
Bottom line: You need a lawyer.
Contact a lawyer is my advice. They handle things like this all the time.
I have full custody and because it was over a year of no contact we agreed to terminate his rights
So no child support
He has no say so as if he never existed.
But I have met a great man who wants to be her dad and to adopt and we dont have to ask bio at all
Get a laywer. This can be tricky. In some states u can’t just sign off rights unless someone is there to pick up the responsibility. And he can still be held responsible for child support even if he doesnt have rights. Get an attorney with a free consultation that knows ur state laws on this situation. Its not as easy as it would seem.
Let him do it …it will end up his burden in the long run not yours or your children
Just go to court and have them give you sole custody and give him visitation (knowing he isn’t going to use it)
That way you can still get the kids their child support they deserve.
Open an account and save it for their college fund or if anything big happens and they NEED it.
Don’t allow him to take the easy way out.
He is the one that wants out so let him handle it all. Not your job.
Most places wont allow someone to sign off rights u less someone else is going to take on new rights. And for that you usually have to be married a certain amount of time before they can adopt.
Seems like he is trying to do that cause he knows eventually he is going to be forced to go to court and a judge will destroy him. Since he did cheat and then never visit his children. Most likely he will pay maximum in child support. So a lot of money will be going to you. Would be easier to just sign rights away. That way he doesn’t have to deal with it. Also most states won’t allow you to do that unless they have been gone for more than a year with no calls or letters or contact of any kind.
Get a lawyer… Not Facebook
Don’t be too hasty in signing him off. He doesn’t want to pay child support for his kids. Sorry, but you should not let him off the hook so easily.
Fuck that. He made children he has at the very least a financial responsibility
They are right. He is acting like they never existed. If he signs his rights away you can not ever collect child support. However he sounds horrible and I would remove him completely from their lives too. Hire a lawyer. Go over the pros and cons.
Go down to your local court and ask them to point you in the direction you need. I have him pay child support with no visition as he wants to sign his rights away. The process may be easier than you think exspecailly since he not for taking his responsibility. Take care of yourself and you children and do whats right and everything will work out. As for the name changing if there young enough possiably change there names. But thats alot of work with ss cards and paperwork. But thats if you decide. If it was me i leave it all and get child support i wouldnt sign anything. But later he can try to come n step back n as for his rights i go that way n have them signed off … If could. For later hassel. Good luck
Child support is the first question that pops in mind
Just because he wants to doesnt mean the judge will allow it. Its solely up to the judge. And just because his rights are gone doesnt mean he wont have to pay child support. Again, that will be up to the judge.
True but it lets him off the hook for child support etc. He ight not be helping now but down the road they if his situation improves they can get it from him, y kids were in high school by the time they finally got money but it was $14,000 I had to help my boys Be sure to consider everything you might be giving up. You could go to the social services office in your county and ask them. They deal with it everyday.
Yes it let’s him off child support - but my gosh you do not have a child just to receive childsupport! You need to do what you think is best for both you and the children and it already sounds like something you want to do so go and see a lawyer.
Wishing you all the best, 
My best friends oldest child, her dad signed his rights away and her husband adopted her. It’s like they don’t even have a dad and that’s not fair to your kids
Since he is in Mexico I would think it would be a different process … You need to contact an attorney
Take his ass to court and get child support piss that make him pay
Depends on what state you live in too
I would talk to a lawyer. Maybe there’s a way to remove him from everything but still have him pay for child support? You should be able to collect something without having him be in their lives at all. Your babies are better off not knowing anything about him.
Depending on your states laws, you may not be able to have him sign his rights away unless someone else wants to adopt the child.
You definitely need a lawyer.
Also, if he isn’t paying anything now…getting court ordered child support probably won’t change that.
Don’t be petty and spiteful, do what you feel is best for your child.
Most judges won’t allow a man to sign his rights away unless there is another man that’s wanting to step up and take responsibility for the child/children. In other words, he cannot just sign away rights to get out of child support. You can however have paperwork drawn up saying you have 100 percent custody and are able to make all decisions without his consent.