My ex willingly left our house and now wants to take things we bought together: Advice?

I am currently getting out of a relationship with a man whom I never married, and we have a 4-month-old baby together. He left home and is now wanting to take half of the things that we bought and paid for together. I said absolutely not! Since he left and the things were needed in this house that I’m currently living in. Is there any legal way that he can come and take the things away? Some of the things were bought under his name and some under mine…just looking for info and opinions.

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Legally I think he can take anything that was purchased under his name only.

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He has a legal right to the stuff in his name.

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Who’s name is on the house?

He has just as much right to the stuff as you do. What right do you have to say it’s all your stuff now :rofl:

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Possession is 9/10ths of the law lol screw him make him take u to small claims court

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He would legally have a right to the stuff he bought. But he has to have proof (like receipts)

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Split it 50/50 are you realistically thinking you should keep everything??

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Is he paying child support?

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Receipts will have to be in his name for the things he wants to take. Otherwise there’s no proof. So nothing can be taken with out his name on some documents proving it.

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Hes allowed half the things. Why should you get everything. He could sue you in court. Just let him take what he paid for

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The real question that should be asked here is… does he really want to leave the mother of his child without???
And does he really need the stuff or can he afford to get his own stuff… tell him u will take the stuff as part payment for child maintenance …

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If the house is in your name and he doesn’t have proof of purchase of anything other than his clothes then no he can’t take it. Legally it’s yours

What if it was you who left? What would you expect?

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Well I would contact a lawyer.
Since you have the child, i would make sure you have what is required to have a home for this baby.
Sometimes its easier to just let them take a few things…
Go after him for child support and spousal support as well.

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I would make it fair for the child involved.

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If you are Not LEGALLY married then its NOT martial property, He has a LEGAL right to anything that was purchased under his name .

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Get someone to kick his ass :sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile:

I think you’s should sit down and write a list of things you both want to keep just be civil with him about things and don’t be too harsh you did just split up with him after all all possessions are 50/50 so it’s best this way unless you both decide to take it to court which is what he might do if you decide to tell him no and not give him anything

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He shouldn’t have anything he left u and the baby ! He don’t deserve nothing !

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Legally. Not entirly obligated unless its something big and in his name. Morally, up to you. Personally, when I was in somewhat of the same situation. Depending on what was taken, we paid eachother the half that they initially paid for or we split it from other possessions, ex: i didn’t need 5 TVs. I kept 2.

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Depends on the state…he may only be entitled to things like clothes unless he has receipts…even then…slot of states he’d have to get to small claims court to get anything since he lefrlt n abandoned it

Except his clothes n personal stuff

I have no advice… I’m just wondering how you plan to prove who bought what?:upside_down_face:

So he leaves with nothing, has to pay to refurnish a new place and then you’ll complain when he’s broke and can’t pay the amount of money you want for child support. Or you’ll deny him partial custody because his new place isn’t up to your standards. Give him half the things and stop being petty.

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Depends what the stuff is if it’s stuff you and the child can’t live with out like a cooker or stuff for the baby Na you keep it if it’s something like a tv then let him take it

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He would have to prove the purchases of the said items

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I live in Ontario and my ex was given only.mins to take what he wanted after that he got nothing with a police officer present

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its material things!!! Let him have it!!!

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If you left, what would you think your entitled to? If he paid for half why shouldn’t he get those items he paid for? You shouldn’t get everything just cuz you got the baby and he left you. If you can’t give him stuff he paid for I hate to see how things go for child custody.

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does he have a receipt? End of story. Prove they are. yours, or shut up

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I agree with the people saying you should get a lawyer. Even if you coparent well, a legal custody agreement should always be put in place for the best interests of everyone. And you can work out who gets what property while you do that. If you don’t put a legal custody order in place, than if he refused to return the baby to you, the police cannot get your baby back until the courts tell them that you are the one who is supposed to have them. I’ve seen this happen to parents, and they went months sometimes without seeing their kids while the courts worked it out.

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Change the locks and tell him to fuck off! Those things belong to his child :raised_back_of_hand:t4:

Get a lawyer. Also depending on the state, if he left the belongings more than 30 days his rights of ownership could be forfeit and his belongings were then abandoned and now are your property.

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He can take what he once as long as it was there when he lived there. He’s not entitled to anything you bought once he left

Why would you want things in his name that’s just extra ties let him have the things in his name …

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Far as custody of baby goes, go file for custody of baby ASAP because if he takes baby without an order in place he will not have to return the child and police will NOT intervene.

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Compromise. Best thing you can do for that baby

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Its not worth the argument in my opinion. You can buy the material things back

Depends on the state. But dont be bitter. Why would you want to keep things you have with him?

Stop being petty. The things he bought are HIS. Anything bought together should be split. If you want to keep the things you both paid for, pay him half the cost.

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Don’t be petty. Let him have his things :roll_eyes:

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What state are you in? I think some states say he left and abandoned the stuff after so long.
But I believe he has a right to the stuff in his name (or can prove he solely paid for. Things that weren’t gifted to you.).

Don’t let him take shit

I think he’s entitled to it. You bought it together. He has to start over, he left and that’s his choice. Have an adult conversation and agree on what he takes and what you take and what you need to buy to replace it.

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Just let him. Everything can eventually be replaced

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Split it. Let him take some and you keep some easy.

He should of took what he wanted when he walked out

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He’s legally entitled to anything in his name unless he’s been gone more than 30 days. Then it constitutes as property abandonment.

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Legal Rules that Govern Property Rights of Unmarried Couples

While the specific rules differ slightly from state to state, the basic legal principles that regulate the property rights of unmarried couples can be summed up as follows:

Laws governing married couples who divorce (generally labeled marital or family law) do not usually apply to unmarried couples who separate. Exceptions include unmarried couples living in a state that recognizes common law marriage who qualify under their state rules, or those who qualify as domestic partners in a few states.
Each unmarried partner is presumed to own his or her own property and debts unless you’ve deliberately combined your assets–for example, by opening a joint account or putting both names on a deed to your home. This differs from married couples, for whom any debt or asset acquired by either spouse during marriage will usually be considered jointly owned in the event of a dissolution—unless the parties signed a prenuptial agreement modifying these rules.
The legal presumption of independent property ownership of unmarried partners can generally be overcome by a written agreement to share assets. In many states, a proven oral or implied-from-the-circumstances agreement to share assets can also be enforced by the courts (although this can be extremely difficult to do if there is no written contract).
Where it’s established that an unmarried couple’s assets are jointly owned (for example, when both names are on a deed), the assets are considered to be owned in equal 50-50 shares. The exception would be if there is proof of a different agreement or, in some instances, where one partner clearly made a greater contribution and can prove it.
The property aspects of your dispute will generally be handled by the ordinary business section of your state’s civil courts, just as though you were going through a business dissolution. This means in most places you aren’t entitled to any special mediation services or expedited hearings, which are common in divorce court, unless you have child custody or child support conflicts (these will most often be handled by the family law division of your local court).
In most states, neither unmarried partner is entitled to receive any alimony-type support after a breakup unless there is proof of a clear agreement to provide post-separation support. In some states this must be a written agreement. The fact that one of you supported the other one during your relationship or that you signed wills providing for each other upon death generally is irrelevant to a claim for support unless you can prove that a contract to provide support after separation existed. For married couples, on the other hand, if either party has been financially dependent on the other, or if one person earns significantly more than the other, the judge can order the higher earner to pay alimony (spousal support or maintenance).
If you are jointly raising children and you are both legal parents, you normally have the opportunity to work out a joint agreement without court intervention. But if you end up in court, the issues of custody, visitation, and child support will be handled just as they are for married couples. If only one of you is the legal parent (because the other parent did not adopt the child), in most states the nonlegal parent will have no right to future custody or visitation of the child, and will have no duty to support the child.

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He left. Fuck him. It’s not being petty when you’re the taking care of the baby and doing what you gotta do to get by it’s called life.

If the lease is under your name & theres no receipts proving he bought said stuff w his personal cards then legally he cant really take anything bc it’s under your home.

Around here you’re not required to give anything back unless they choose to take you to civil court to divvy things up. He won’t be able to take anything that assists in the support of your child though. So tell him if he wants anything that you share then he can pay to take you to court to have it properly split fairly to the both of you.

I would say split 50/50 and be done with it all.

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His stuff is his…you never married so let him take his stuff…If I was him I’d want my shit back too…wtf

Depends on how long ago he left. If its been awhile he abandoned it. Your not a storage unit. If it was recently try to decide together what would be fair. If it’s in his name it’s his, if you bought it together he can pay you for it or vice versa.

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When my daughters father and I split up he took what he came with, the classic car and the riding lawnmower. Everything else was in my name.

:rofl: no he left and left you with the responsibility of the baby and the bills, if it were me he wouldn’t get shit until a judge said so​:woman_shrugging: call me petty or whatever you want but if it’s needed in the home I’m paying for and raising the child he chose to walk out on its staying…

If he paid for stuff you really think you are entitled to it? Smh

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What is under his name he can take

Shared property. He would have to take you to court, but perhaps suggest mediation and splitting the things. It’s likely not about the objects anyway, it’s about the wounded pride and hurt feelings

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He left you. Girl keep everything. He can kick rocks.

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Unless is stuff you need for the baby then let him have it its his stuff too

Personal experience…he has to furnish proof of purchase but he needs to file with the courts first. If he has been out of the home more than 90 days he forfeits everything. Good luck

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Depends… what is it he is asking for? If it’s stupid petty crap let him have it… honestly when I left my ex I didnt take anything except for my stuff. And that was only a small handful because when I tried to go back to get more he threw it all out before I could grab it. So I lost nearly everything. But I didn’t ask for any of our house stuff because honestly it was unimportant. If he bought something specific for him, give it to him.

He is entitled to all the stuff that’s in his name only.

Pick your battles. Especially because you will be dealing with him for the next 18 years unless you get him to sign off his rights. I would give him what he’s asking for unless its things for the baby like crib car seat type stuff. Try to split things I mean you did both pay for them he should be able to have some stuff. Try to keep things civil for your child. Don’t be an ass out of spite

Sell it all give him half the $$$ :rofl: (idk what all he’s trying to take either) but if it were me :kissing_heart::v: lol 1 day only sale, make offer :rofl::rofl:…who wants to keep their ex’s stuff anywhoo.

I mean if its really done and over ,Then why not just split the stuff. The headache wont be worth the fighting. keep it civil to co parent well together this just will cause a snow ball affect of drama. I understand being hurt especially about someone leaving but denying him his possessions seems to be out of anger for hurting you.

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Well since you bought these things together the right thing would be that he would keep the things under his name and you would keep the things under your name where you sell everything and you split the money down the middle. Legally he can take the things that are under his name. Stop focusing and projecting your feelings onto material things and focus on the fact that your relationship is over with for whatever reason process those feelings and realize that you both have to peacefully co-parent for the rest of your life.

No he can’t take anything he would need to take your through court to take anything. He doesn’t live there so has no right and he would need to prove he paid for any of the stuff in the house I’ve been through all this before

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It would be fair to divy it up fairly. Only keep whats necessay for you and baby and let the rest go. But make deal, plan the day and have a few good friends to keep him. From. Trying to take things he should not. Be fair.

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If you bought it together, sell it and split it 50/50. Or give it to him and stfu.

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Nah, he left, he can figure it out.
Your stability and your baby’s home don’t have to change just bc he left.

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If he left u and bb in a home u lived in thn NO HE MADE HIS CHOICE AND LEFT MEANING HE ALSO LEFT ALL SO LET HIM TAKE U TO COURT TO SPLIT BUT THN AGAIN IF ITS JUNK THROW IT OUT SEE IF HE PICKS IT UP!!!

Change the locks on your door and get cameras

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If you left i bet you would be furious if he was keeping stuff from you…you were in a relationship and bought stuff together so just let him take what he paid for. I think its horrible and bitchy you and so many other women just saying keep it all, sell it etc again if this was you in his shoes you would be pissed and he would be the worst person in the world.

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If its his and he can prove its his you can get in trouble legally for keeping it from him.

If you’re wanting to know from a legal standpoint, in our state if they leave and take nothing then that’s their loss. However, you could be kind enough to let him have some of the things he’s requesting. Since y’all both paid for it then it’s the right thing to do. What are you losing besides some replaceable furniture and knickknacks?

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If you have receipts with proof of who bought what, that’ll be your best help. Cops won’t do anything if he comes for the items except say it needs to be settled in court. I went through this with an ex. Unfortunately anything he bought in his name is his and he has every right to take it. Good luck!

Guess it depends on what he wants to take. If it is the crib then no. If it is his recliner then just give it to him or have him pay you your half for the items he wants. I personally wouldn’t want anything that was his in the house anymore anyways if he left me and our baby.

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Just give him the things under his name. Everything else you can keep. Idk why you would want anything that is under his name. If you can live without it why keep it? If it is inexpensive why keep it?
File for custody before he can. Also child support.

Adults compromise and come to an agreement and not bicker over which is mine or not. Doesnt matter who paid or whose name it is under. Be the bigger person, the adult in all this

I would split the things up

You dont have to do shit…unless hes making payments on it then he can have it…otherwise a gift for dealing with him

Yes he can go to the court and ask for anything he wants. Anyone can sue for anything. It doesn’t mean that they get it though.
We all know that it’s a blessing he left!
Me ex left me with everything he bought because I had the kids and it’s like taking it away from the kids too.
I would probably let him take some stuff though. Just so he can shut up!
But that would definitely be putting the nails in the coffin :coffin: for me!

Um split things in half. One big item for you one big item for him. Whether he left willingly or not married or not you BOTH invested in these things WHY would you NOT split it in half KNOWING and saying BOTH of you paid for these things. Stop being so grimy and greedy if you left would you be okay if he didn’t let you back in and not give you a single thing knowing you also helped furnish the home like stated above.

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so petty. did you expect him to take everything upon leaving? :woman_facepalming:t2: easier to give his stuff back and move along? you got the house is that not enough?

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Me just scrolling comments to see all the petty folks. :roll_eyes:

He paid for half, he should get half. He chose to leave,he has the right to choose that and not have to give up everything he’s helped buy throughout the relationship.

Now if he was trying to take, say the crib, because he helped pay for it, then absolutely not.

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Split it up unless its kid stuff or needed for the kids.

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That’s how relationships work I’m sorry. What if he took everything and said you couldnt have it, no way.? Just slowly work to building back up on your own. :heart:

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What if this man left because she is abusive? Or because she cheated? If this was the other way around y’all would be telling her to take her belongings. Bunch of bitter man haters.

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You both bought it . I’d say split it . Both of you sit down and write out a list of the things he wants and the things you want and decide together who takes what, it’s just as much his as it is yours .

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He willingly left the house . I would change locks and if he threatens to call police let police know that you also paid for the stuff so he will have to also give you the money for them. they will most likely tell him that he will have to settle it in court but because y’all were not married he is not entitled to half of the house only to what he has bought himself and what he has in his own bank.

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I mean… if it’s stuff you have to have for day to day living (stove, microwave, etc) maybe try to come to an agreement and he pay you for your side for stuff you don’t need for everyday living and you don’t feel you’re out so much money, but same could go for stuff he is leaving that you both paid for. As much as it will probably suck, you both need to sit down and write out what each person paid for and as adults (that’s an important part) come together and figure out what needs to stay because it’s best for the child. Don’t hold on to every little thing just because you paid for half of it because it’s not worth the fight in the end.

I didn’t give a damn about the stuff honesly I was like just take it I’ll buy my own it’s just stuff like it’s not worth the drama honestly and I’m talking expensive electronics too it’s REALLY not worth it

If he paid for half, he deserves half. Give him what was bought in his name.

That is just awful and bitter. You said yourself bought and paid together smh you shouldn’t keep it all!

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He is absolutely entitled to half of the shared belongings. You sound like you’re gonna be an absolute nightmare as a baby mama.

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Whoever has the receipts, police wont get involved he will need to go to civil court.