My ex won't stop contacting our daughter

Just completely block the number

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Report the photos, every chance you get. Have your friends report the photos, contact Facebook to ask them to remove the photos. Block his number from her phone. If it keeps happening you may have no choice but to change the number. Do anything and everything you can to stop it.

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How long he helped raise her should really have been mentioned, I mean if it was 10 years you can’t just cut him out because your relationship with him ended.

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File an injunction against harassment

Umm… Maybe he’s a pedo :no_mouth:

Just change her number.

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Restraining order time :woman_shrugging:t4:

Just for my own thoughts…does your daughter not want him to talk to her, not post pics etc too?

If he was told not to contact her then he’s violating the judges order period

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Oh my gosh chafe her number and block him end of your parent not her

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Um wait? Has he been in her life for years, like an actual step dad? Or has he only been in her life less than 2 years? I only ask bcos if he’s been fully involved with her for years they have a bond and friendship like a bio dad. But if he’s only been present for a year or two? Place a report with the coos bcos that’s creepy asf! I also would change her number Xbox this is an issue

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Parent material or not, at some point a step parent needs to understand when to back off…unfortunately we don’t have much of a say in the end. If as a mom you don’t understand that and you willingly don’t want to change her number and don’t know what to do, maybe you don’t really mind the texting and calling. Protect your child regardless of ANYONE’S feelings. That number should’ve been changed the minute he decided not to follow the rules and as for social media, I’m sure you can report it. And the answer to your question is “It becomes herrassmen the minute he didn’t follow the parents rules about the child!”

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He was told not to talk to her by the courts?? Get the courts & police involved. No means no

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They won’t do anything about him uploading photos of her. My ex did the same to get under my skin and when he realized it didn’t bother me, he stopped. Block his number on her phone, change her number, block all social media of his and move on.

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If there was a no contact order go to the courts. If it was just you telling him that then change her number and keep her away from him, it does not sound natural and normal I would be worried for my eleven-year-old daughter in this situation. Protect her and change the number.

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If it’s court order u call the police every time so he has bail jumps for breaking the no contact order

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You’re the parent. Change her number or take her phone from her. She’s old enough to understand the reasons for no contact if you explain them to her.

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Block his number on her phone if u can’t change her number make sure he is blocked on all on social media if she has any get a no contact order on him if need be

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I think you need to take a look at yourself right now. This is what pisses me off with mother’s, you bring new men into a child’s life they bond with that man. Just because you chose to split up completely cutting her off will have some damaging affects.

I would find out why she feels the need to speak to him first, before you go swapping men that are not her father in and out of her life. I’m all for being happy and having relationships but you should really think about long term what you will be doing. And maybe not bring them in to your child’s life if they are not going to be long term.

How does your daughter feel about it? Do they have a bond? Does she want to speak to him? You have only really said what’s he like as a partner and not a father, even though he’s not her real father. I know you said he isn’t father material but that doesn’t say much about him in that sense. I’m only wondering because you said he hasn’t contacted you at all, which has me thinking it’s possible he does miss your daughter and they have bond, as you also said he isn’t really saying anything wrong to her. How long was he in her life? Does she have her bio dad? I don’t know the ins and outs, but it is possible to be a a good parent, but a terrible partner.

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At the first the post says my ex won’t stop texting our daughter then it says i have an 11 year old from a previous relationship. Im confused, is he the dad or not?

You said “our daughter” that means you know they have a bond

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What does your daughter want?

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Change number and set your stuff to private and block him. :woman_shrugging: if hes a danger to her. If he’s an ass to u but is still good to her and they always got along and she wants him in her life then what harm is he actually doing? Is he a dangerous creep or are you just upset with him? You allowed him in her life while you were together that’s why I’m asking. Idk situation and if he’s actually a danger to her.

You should have taken measures right when it started. If you said no contact he needs to follow no contact. That’s your child, not his. Protect her, no means no. Get her number changed.

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Super creepy. Block him on her social media, change her number. Have a serious talk with your child about what is going on, and that you will continue to monitor her text and social media accounts. If it continues tell her you change her number again and take away the phone. No contact means no contact.

Block him then delete the number out of her phone.

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Well he’s been in her life for years and don’t forget how that happened right. It maybe over for you but not them as u said he is saying nothing wrong your jealous my dear…shake that off

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if She Had an actual Court ordered “No Contact” Then Why The Hell Would She Be on Facebook asking a Bunch of Strangers on How To Handle Things? She’d Be Going To The Courts or Police.
She is Being Dumb. if it Bothered Her So Bad, She Would Go To The Police. Period.

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Um, nothing you can do? She’s a minor and a grown ass man is texting her, he misses her and loves her. There’s a lot you can do.

Make it very clear (through text or something in writing) that your wish to have no contact. You’ll basically just have to keep reporting it every time he contacts. Build a case. Then after you get enough evidence you can try for a civil stalking protection order. I just got one recently. Mine was using very inappropriate language tho so probably a little different but that was my process.

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So this is sort of missing a bit of context. How long was this man in your daughters life for? Is he her step father? Is there a father daughter bond Does? Does your daughter want to have a meaningful relationship with him?

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1st off who told him to have no contact with her. Was it you or the courts? If it was you & she’s not uncomfortable along with if all he is saying to her that he loves & misses her then there’s not really anything you can do. Granted if they have a father daughter bond & she’s not uncomfortable why try to mess with it. She deserves a father figure in her life if he truly does want a relationship with her. Now if there’s a no contact order then I suggest get evidence of the contact & go back to court & change the daughters phone so he can’t contact her anymore. Either good luck on figuring everything out.

Texting her is having contact
Notify domestic relations and/or the lawyer who handled your case. Keep a detailed diary (and screenshot) of every text contact he has made as proof, because he will either deny it in court, or claim he didn’t know that’s what it meant, and the judge will want to see evidence.

My ex and his mistress finally split up in the spring. We had to change our daughters number , so that the mistress wouldnt be able to contact her. She harrased my daughter and that seemed like the only thing we could really do.

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was he raising her as his own ? How long was he in her life … clearly he is emotionally attached to being a father figure for her and he’s taking the breakup badly. Or were you dating maybe 6 months and this is just totally gross ?

You should be able to block him from her phone

Block his number from her phone! iPad too!

Block him? Block his number?

Does she want the communication and you’re just mad about the breakup or does she want to be left alone too? Also you can blocked numbers, change your number, go to court about it…there’s so many options this shouldn’t even be a question

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Change her number, block his number, and if he continues to contact her send a cease and desist, then file an order of protection. She’s a minor and if the adult in charge of her wants someone to stop contacting them that’s how it’s works. Also you can contact FB about someone posting your minor child without permission. They will take it down.

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Report the pictures as not his own everytime he posts one on Facebook.

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Id threaten to call the police… the ex bf is stalking my 11 yr old?! Serious shit right there… if he doesn’t stop after that, then you call the police!

What the does the daughter want? If they have a true father daughter bond then why would you want him to stop other than maybe spiteful was or jealousy?

If he is truly harassing HER… block his number, change her number if you must, and report the pics on Facebook as not his own…… or get a restraining order. You just telling him to quit ain’t gonna cut it

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If there is a no contact through the court, then notify them that he’s contacting her.

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Go into the cell phone account usually via the website and block his number.

You can’t stop it. Change the number don’t give it out and quit reacting where he can see. Legally you have no grounds for a protection order with what is written above so he will give up when he realizes he can’t bug you anymore with it. Weaponizing children is super common in divorce even if they’re not bio relation

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She’s 11, she’ll survive if you change her number. Smh

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People saying that there is nothing wrong with this…we don’t know the whole story, but we do know that he is not her bio dad so he has no rights where she is concerned. I’m going to assume there was no adoption. He is a grown man who the OP says is manipulative and her daughter is 11. The mother (OP) doesn’t want her daughter to be contacted by this man and she has that right. Especially if he continues to contact her after repeated attempts to get him to stop. I would contact law enforcement have them document and pay this man a visit. I would then change her number. Block him from both hers and yours social media accounts. And depending on how dangerously manipulative he is (was he abusive)…move. Seriously, this does not sound like normal behavior.

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Does nobody else think it weird/gross that a grown ass man is texting an 11 year girl? If there is a no contact order through the courts
then tell the courts because he is in violation of the order. Change your daughter’s number and report the pictures he is posting.

If there is not a court order then there’s really nothing you can do other then take the proper steps to get an order in place. You are the one who chose to have a relationship with this guy and introduce them. Don’t let the guys you date have any kind of relationship with your daughter until you figure out how serious the relationship is. You as the mom allowed some type of bond with him and your daughter. Have you asked your daughter how she felt? If it’s not upsetting her and he’s not doing or saying anything wrong then leave it alone!!!

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You can block his number from her phone and then block him on any social media.

Block his number on her phone! With iPhones it’s super easy. Also Verizon gives you like three free blocks on your account!

Any continued contact after he’s been told in writing to leave her alone, is harassment, I’d report it to the police and file a protection order. He’s a grown man, step parent for a time or not, if you as a mother or anyone else with a standing in the situation has told him he needs to leave her alone and he won’t, that’s a HUGE red flag to me, especially being that he’s only contacting her and not you as well

Block his number on her phone and block him on social media. He’s just doing it to get you going. Don’t let him get the best of you. Also make a police report you my need a ppo.

You need to understand the situation from your daughter’s point of view instead of yours.

Whether or not he is a biological father, she and he had that relationship while you were together.

The word “stepparent” is not from the fairytale which portrays “step” as evil and insignificant.

“Step” means the one parent stepped in to the role the biological parent stepped out of — be it for divorce, death, or never in the picture.
So, your “ex” is your daughter’s stepfather.

Also, the biggest mistake divorced or separated people make is role confusion. This is evident by how angry you sound.

Your “ex” (I am assuming husband) is not your daughter’s ex. He is still her stepdad.

Just as you, the wife, would not be the ex-wife to the children, you would always be the mother to them.

So: Keep the husband and wife roles and bickering away and separate from the father and mother roles.

You are two different people: mom and wife.
Your ex-husband is also two different people: stepdad and husband.

If your daughter loves your ex and you don’t, that’s YOUR PROBLEM, don’t drag her into the husband and wife war and make her choose sides!

With all that is wrong in the world, do you honestly believe that your daughter having a father figure to love and care about her is a NEGATIVE thing?

You may need counseling. :pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2::pray:t2: for your daughter.

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“My ex won’t stop contacting OUR daughter” but then proceeds to say it’s not his daughter…

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We are missing a lot of context here. You have not stated whether or not There is a no contact order through the court. You have not stated how long they have been stepfather and stepdaughter. If they’ve created a bond and it’s just you being vindictive because you didn’t like him I can’t say that I agree with you. But again there’s too much context missing here.

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Once the relationship is over, it’s over.

How long was he in her life? :thinking: yeah to much missing…

Block the number from her phone

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Is there a reason you don’t want him contacting her? Honestly, children need all the love and support they can get. If he hasn’t done anything but let her know she hasn’t been abandoned, what’s the problem?

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Just block his number

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Well start by removing “our daughter” from your mind. Shes yours. Then block him.

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Is she still wanting to contact him ? Sounds to me like you’re upset that you cant control everything. . . He isnt being inappropriate, he isnt violating her in anyway or harming her. If she is ok with it and wants to speak with a person that was clearly a part of her life for a significant amount of time i think you should step back and let it happen

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How long were you together and what does your daughter want? Did you ask for no contact because of abuse. These questions matter bc he may not be blood, but that doesn’t mean they didn’t bond.

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You’ve failed to mention how your daughter feels about this man you brought into her life, and have now ripped away. If she loves and misses this man - then in my opinion you need to try to facilitate a healthy relationship between the two of them. A lot of context missing and I also hear a lot of selfishness in this post. You say “our daughter” and yet you claim you want him to have no contact.

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He was in her life for 2 years people. 2 years twice a week for one hour a day. Most of the time he sat on her phone and she talked to me… Yes I said our daughter, my mistake. Shoot me why don’t you. No she doesn’t want contact from him. No contact order or anything. But I will be sending a cease and desist. Now for the kicker since yall need more context. Exactly one week after I left him he sent me pictures of my daughter that even I didn’t have. Her standing in my living room in nothing but underwear and his bike helmet. This way days after I called him a pedophile for walking towards my bathroom to say hello to her while she’s in the tub. Aftwr I told him don’t go back there she’s in the tub. And for those of you saying I shouldn’t introduce men to my child or however you put it. Tf was I supposed to do? I was with him for 9 fxxxxxg years. I wouldn’t let him meet her or come around until the 7th anniversary mark. We lived separately for this reason.

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Text him one last time very straight to the point to no longer contact your minor female child and let him know you are keeping this correspondence for legal reasons. Make him aware you will file harassment charges.
Then Block his number through your carrier. Block him from her and yourself on any social media forum.

After that, if he tries to call or contact her in any way, you need to go straight to police and file charges.

Leaving out how your daughter feels and you saying our daughter seems as if you’re bitter about something else , and you’re pissed he reaches out to her only :roll_eyes: did he do her harm? Does she not want him reaching out? It’s confusing and not making much since

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Nah call the cops and talk with them they will give the correct way to go about it.

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Change her number. Even if you block his or it seems like he has stopped you still don’t want him to be able to reach her. The fact he wasn’t good father material before and is so adamant about being in touch with her is very alarming.

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There’s a lot missing in this clearly because at the end you say he’s not do anything wrong. How long were you together? They may have bonded. This guy had this child in his life and then all the sudden she’s gone….

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Change her damn number. If any grown ass man was harassing my child via text, I’d be changing the number.

Sounds like he’s trying to manipulate you through your child :roll_eyes: I had an ex like that . Get a restraining order if you have to

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What does she want though. If he’s not saying anything wrong and he hasn’t harmed her in anyway then there’s not really any reason for you to keep them from contacting eachother. If she still wants to contact him and have him in her life allow that. Maybe in your mind he’s not father material but if he has been her father figure for a significant amount of time it’s not fair for you to take that away from her because you and he decided to split.

RED FLAGS change her no n have a talk w her that it needs to stop if no change get restraining order

My mother is calling the exact same bullcrap that you are
Told me to love this man for 15 years and now all of a sudden wants me to have nothing to do with him?
How does your daughter feel? I miss my stepdad and I’m so over my mother’s jealousy

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He is a toxic, narcissistic, And manipulative, that is enough reason for him not to contact my child, block the number and if he finds a way through again get a restraining order.
It all starts off with sweet and I love you then turns into manipulation so he can minipulate the mother to.

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So he was her only father figure for how long? And what did he do for you to make it so he wasn’t allowed contact? Also, how does she feel about it? Does she want to maintain a relationship with him? Sorry I just feel a lot is missing from the story to really know how to respond.

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File a protection order with the court

Block him on her phone

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Change her number. No questions asked.
Worst fear is he’s trying to groom her from reading some of your messages here. The picture is a big no no because of her age

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Idk how people are protecting this guy. She said HE WAS TOLD NOT TO CONTACT HER. Which I’m assuming something he had been doing/saying was damaging enough to this child to receive an order to not contact from a judge.
This doesn’t sound like a possessive mom, this sounds like a psycho dad that can’t follow court appointed direction,

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Block his number on her phone. Problem solved. Idk why people don’t used common sense these days.

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What does the child in question want? If he’s been in her life since birth / a young age I think she should personally have a say on how she feels on the matter at hand some step/parents can become really involved with there stepchildren’s lives for year’s and for it to be taken away suddenly can be damaging to the child

“Even when we were together he wasn’t exactly father material, he definitely isn’t now that we have separated. He’s toxic, manipulative, and narcissistic.”

:woman_shrugging:i mean you can scream this statement until the cows come home that he was all those things & a narc but you are the one who allowed him around your child knowing this and allowing them to strike up a connection in the first place take some responsibility on your part and stop having men around your child if you don’t plan on having them around very long it’s the children who suffer down the line…:woman_facepalming:

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You can’t split up with him …and take your daughter away from him.you split up with him not the child

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id get restraining order n change # anyway

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Block his number via her phone. And block him via social media.

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Definitely contact the police. Each state has different laws.

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Block him on her phone.
Get a restraining order. She’s a minor and he has no rights.

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If she’s not his bio daughter I have concerns he’s grooming her. Put a restraining order on him under that premise. Have him investigated. Idc it’s not healthy for a grown man to have contact like that with a child. d2l.org

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CHANGE HER NUMBER!! Why wait for something to happen, YOU SAID “Even when we were together he wasn’t exactly father material’. So why he contacting her is trying to be more now. CHANGE THE NUMBER AND KEEP REPORTING THE PICTURES

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Block his number from calling her phone and then constantly report any pictures he posts on social media

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