So my ex and I split up in the beginning of August. I have an 11 yo daughter from a previous relationship that I have full custody of. Ex was told he is to have no contact with my daughter. But he keeps texting her. Putting her picture on his Facebook. I feel like there’s nothing I can do to stop it. I guess my question is, at what point does this become harassment? At what point does him putting her pictures on his public social media violate her privacy? Even when we were together he wasn’t exactly father material, he definitely isn’t now that we have separated. He’s toxic, manipulative, and narcissistic. How can I stop this without having to change her number? How do I get him to leave her alone? He doesn’t message me, just my child. Hes not saying anything wrong tbh, just that ge loves and misses her, but he was told not to contact her. In wv for reference.
Block his number on her phone, for starters. And if he tries FB, Snapchat and other messengers, block him there as well. 
If that doesn’t work, try to get a restraining order if that’s warranted.
Report every photo every time he puts one up, report it to facebook. I’ve had to do it multiple times. They take it down.
Restraining order. Please don’t wait. Something uncomfortable with that.
So call the police and get them to tell him to stop if his been told not to contact her
Change her number, i mean that’s the first thing I would do, a number it’s just a number, block him from her social media if she has any
Report to the police that’s WEIRD
If he is not her father and you’re not together anymore, that’s just creepy as hell to be honest. He for sure has no right to be posting her photo on social media since he is not her father. I’d report the photos, block his number in her phone (then delete the contact information and past conversations once you’ve taken screen shots of the messages — with the number shown, not his name), and tell him if he tries to contact her by any other means you will involve the police.
Wow, that is extremely creepy. Block him on her phone or however he is contacting her. If he has been asked to stay away and he keeps contacting her, you should file a R.O.
It is exploitation of your child, go take out a RESTRAINING ORDER asap, and make sure you screenshot, record, and document everything. It is exploitation, nothing less. And I feel sure it makes her feel strange. Hope you get it fixed.
Block number and get a restraining order
I have a few questions, if he isn’t the bio dad and your daughter is 11. How long was he a part of her life for? If it was a short relationship that’s creepy if it wasn’t and he was a huge part of her life he may just really miss her and does truly love her as a daughter also. So think if you were him and it was your step child would you just want to give up contact just like that, I know I wouldn’t, but again if it was just a short relationship where there couldn’t have been any strong bond between them then that’s creepy af and I would change her number and get a restraining order 
Okay look- as a step parent I’ve been assured no matter what happens I’ll always have contact with the child (from both parents) so I don’t see it as weird, but then you stated he wasn’t and isn’t father material, so I find that weird. I’ve been heavily involved with my step child from the very beginning of her life so I guess it’s a little different for me.
How does your daughter feel about him contacting her?
If he is toxic and manipulative I agree with your choices to cut them off- and I’d get a misconduct order that prevents him from doing certain things such as contacting the child, meeting up with the child etc.
Social media has to take down photos of children under the age of 13. It violates the child online privacy laws. If he’s not a legal guardian you can get the photos removed.
If he is a true narcissist:
unfortunately, they usually never stop. Block his number, calls, texts, and block him on Facebook. If needed, a restraining order might be helpful, but may not always fully stop a narcissist. I would ignore what he puts on Facebook as well… he’s doing it just to get under your skin and get a reaction out of you. Also to have others see him as the victim… ignore it all
I mean, you didn’t give us much context. How long was he in her life? Is he who she considers dad? Does SHE want him to stop contacting her? It’s not creepy if they have a father/daughter relationship.
How long were you with him? If for a long time even if not father material you still stayed and welcomed him in your daughter’s life. Sometimes that creates a unbreakable bond. Does your daughter miss him? I dunno as a person who is with someone with kids you cannot just unlove a child because it didn’t work with the parent. Text him and let him know how you are feeling but also try to keep his feelings in consideration
Just block his number, and any other numbers that he tries from.
First off how long was he in her life for? If he was in it for a fair amount if not most of her life then how can you blame him?? He probably looks at her like his own and there is absolutely NOTHING crazy or weird about it. Second how does SHE feel and does SHE WANT to still talk to him? Nevermind your feelings as they dont count right now especially when you state he isnt doing anything wrong or saying anything wrong. Put yourself aside on this one and ask the bigger questions of how she feels and what she wants…and if she wants him to still be apart of her life as she sees him as a dad then you need to step aside and let them. Just because he didnt help you conceive her doesnt mean you get to remove him from her if they both want to have that father daughter relationship just cause it didnt work out with you both.
Now if he was only apart of her life for less then a year or she doesnt want to have involvement with him then ya something is needing to be done and start talking with police and start reporting to fb the pictures he is using.
Try going for restraining order if you can although there is nothing he is saying wrong to her so i am unsure of how likely it would be for you to obtain one when there is no threat to her safety to be honest.
Tell the police a grown, non blood related man refuses to stop contacting your daughter.
The moment he violated the court order is the moment he could have charged brought against him for being in contempt of the court. Make sure she keeps those messages and phone call log. Screen shot his social media of him posting her pics and file a police report. Then put a protective order against McCreeper
Extremely strange.
Not good
Put no contact order on him your daughter is minor. You as parent talk to her about this situation. Mentioned to your daughter she continues sending pictures of her to your ex you will stop her from having texting on her phone or phone be completely taken away. Daughter needs show responsibility inorder have or keep having her phone privileges.
Report to police put straining order on him & no contact order on him that he grooming your child.
Not sure on the laws where you live, however I work with children and my training literally said that if you feel something is a safeguarding concern then it is a safe guarding concern. Especially when it comes to Internet safety.
I would be speaking to my local sheriff or law enforcement to find out the exact laws and what you can do, however depending on her age, they may ask what she wants, as sometimes it really isn’t up up you.
Block him on your phone and block his Facebook on your page . I do see however that you said “ our daughter” Is there a no contact order from the courts ? Is your daughter upset that he’s texting or the fb posts ? How long was he her step dad?
Chang daughter phone number block him.your daughter to needs stop sending pictures have any contact with him period. Cause if she involved sending pictures she to is counted for her actions as well.
Not enough info my daughter has had her step dad in her life since she was 1 year old and is now 14 we aren’t together anymore haven’t been together in a few years and to her that’s her dad and yes she knows her bio dad but he’s the man who raised her so if it was a long term relationship where ur daughter and ur ex has a bond then not weird at all and the adult thing to do is let them keep that relationship. if it was short term relationship then u need to go to the cops or court or whatever and figure that weird shit out
I would be extremely concerned that he has n obsession with my daughter. How protected is your baby going to and from school and/or at home? How does your daughter feel about him contacting her? If he is a narcissist then he is extremely dangerous. He might hurt her for the pleasure of hurting you. PLEASE protect your baby at all cost. Sorry if it was my daughter he would be the one needing police protection
May be toxic to u in a relationship but that doesn’t make him toxic to the daughter and like I said IF IT WAS A LONG TREM RELATIONSHIP AND THE DAUGHTER AMD HIM HAVE A BOND
Not enough info… if there is a court order in place that specifically says no contact (that’s very rare & only used in extreme cases involving abuse) then take him back to court… I read you put MY daughter, it’s his daughter too!! At 11 your daughter has her own mind & can decide if she wants contact, it should be about HER - not your feelings on her dad, he can be a rubbish husband but a great father… unless there’s safeguarding issues then she deserves to have her dad in her life! Too much of this going on, should always be child focussed NOT what mum or dad wants!!
regardless of what kind of relationship he had with your child previously. Regardless of what kind of relationship he has or wants with your child now. Regardless of what kind of relationship you have with him now, you choose who is in your child’s life.
your child may want a relationship with him, because she doesn’t know everything that you know. Of course there is a chance that she’s going to want a relationship with a man who didn’t do anything bad to her. But if he’s done other bad things, then obviously you should have no contact with him. And by you, I mean the both of you.
I am a stepmother and I would have been devastated if I didn’t have any contact with one of my stepchildren again. But if I don’t have contact with my step child after divorce because I was a horrible person and did abusive and toxic things? I don’t have a leg to stand on
this is your child. He has no rights whatsoever. And even if he was father of the year and husband of the year, if you decide that he doesn’t have contact with your child, that is your choice. You are the parent and only you decide who has access to your child, legal rights of other people notwithstanding
you mentioned that he is toxic and a narcissist. I have been there. I have been in more than one relationship like that. Chances are, it has less to do with having a relationship with your daughter and more to do with making you uncomfortable. “See? You can’t stop me. See? I’m still part of your life. look at me! I’m talking to your daughter”
explain to your daughter that for her safety even though she has a great relationship with him, that you both have to have no more contact with him. And again, that means you as a family. in whatever terms she can understand and you feel are appropriate, give her an honest answer.
" I know Jack has been contacting you and he says he loves you. I’m sure he does love you. But Jack and I aren’t married anymore and he’s not supposed to be having any contact with you. It’s because of other stuff, nothing you did wrong. But because he is not safe, we can’t have any contact with him anymore. I have to block his number on your phone now. please let me know if he tries to talk to you. he won’t get in trouble, but I will have to remind him that he’s not allowed to contact you and I will have to try to stop him from talking to you again. "
I’ve had to have that conversation with my daughter. at around the same age. And it was very difficult. and she had known this person for most of her life. but it was regarding somebody who had absolutely no legal rights to her, and had had no concerning behavior towards her, but who had a history of being abusive, controlling, and manipulative. he was trying to use his excuse of having a relationship with my daughter to hurt me. to control me.
your daughter, your choice. Do whatever it takes to keep your child safe.
Block his number on her phone if you really don’t want him to have Contact with her x
There’s problems here with your statement to start with… you say he’s doing nothing wrong but he’s been told he’s not allowed to contact her which automatically means he is doing something wrong.
Why is he putting pictures of an 11yr old that isn’t his, that’s he’s not actually allowed contact with on Facebook, that’s wrong too. He’s violated her privacy as soon as he’s posted pictures without hers or her legal guardians consent. If he’s narcissistic this is potentially his way of trying to use your daughter to get at you and still get his kicks…
But he’s not doing anything wrong.
You clearly think he is or you wouldn’t be asking. People don’t ask questions if someone is doing nothing wrong. You know the answer to this… protect your child and get a restraining order filed
How is that wrong? 
YOU brought him into your daughter’s life. Do you not think about how your future suitors will affect her later on?
Maybe there’s a feature in your daughters phone that allows people that are in phone contacts all others are marked as spam! I know that unless she has the phone number in her contact the phone will not ring!
I’m assuming even though you said “our child” you really mean your child.
I would ask your daughter what she thinks and what she wants, she may want a relationship with him. If it was a long term relationship and she was brought up with him I don’t see why he can’t contact her unless of course she doesn’t want to talk to him.
He’s puttin pictures up on the Internet of a child that’s not his phone the police he’s using her as part of a game don’t no the man but no doubt if you dropped your walls and let him see your daughter txt your daughter he would prop vanish as there is no game to play anymore hope you sort it out
You told him or the court?
Grooming and using your daughter as control. Massive red flag.
I don’t understand why your so bent on not changing her number? She’s 11. Am I missing something? Grown women who leave relationships that are toxic change their numbers and yet you don’t want to change an 11 year olds?
Start with changing the number to a child’s phone….
Why isn’t his number blocked? And it is harassment now. I mean depending on your state they might not do anything. But when you said don’t contact her you should have also blocked his number.
Get a NO contact order and put things in place where he isn’t allowed to share photos
Block his number from her phone. Block him on fb.
File a no contact order and get something from the court that he is to no way be posting her photos and so on.
Your handling this way too nice for me… her number would be changed, and the next time he reached out to I’d make a police report and accuse him of attempted parental alienation. Don’t play with your daughters safety. If he wasn’t good enough for you, he’s damn sure not good enough for her. She gets no choose in the matter End of discussion.
I would be contacting my lawyer about this cause if he was ordered no contact period than he’s breaking the order, than I will be telling your lawyer I am going to block his number
Block his number report the pics to fb til they get taken down and keep doing it and also consult with a lawyer about filing charges
Why haven’t you blocked him on fb and blocked the number from her phone?! It’s not hard. Press block contact and you’re done
File a restraining order.
My mother brought her boyfriend into my life at the age of 2. The two of them had been “toxic” together but I grew up with him, not knowing any better, loved him like a father.
She tried to separate us when they broke up when I was around 8. To me, he was an amazing person (he and she are both passed on) when I was old enough I looked him up again and he gave me away at my wedding, my 2nd son is named after him.
All this to say, I don’t know the ins and outs of what “really” is going on but don’t separate them if the problem is just you and he together. I never forgave my mother for that. Matter of fact, I wish I was raised by him instead.
Simple answer Block his #. 
Idk where you are, but sadly here where I live, it’s legal to take pictures of kids and put them online, unless it’s BAD pictures… My neighbor kept taking pictures of my kids and putting them on fb and the cops couldn’t do anything bc it’s not illegal.
Sounds like he’s Grooming her.
Definitely go to court and get some sort of restraining order to stop him from contacting her and also change her number so he can’t get hold of her and make sure he is blocked from every sort of social media that he can get to her x
Get the police involved and file a restraining order against him for contacting your daughter without your permission. You could also have a face to face sit down conversation and let him know that he’s got to cut ties and stop communicating with your daughter and that your uncomfortable with it and if it doesn’t stop that you’re filing a restraining order against him.
I bet you never complained when said ex was giving money to help with the daughter that wasn’t his
Cops need involved. In my case it would be to protect my ex! I wouldn’t be so nice about it.
How long ago when you got together? Even though he was not biologically her father I’m sure she bonded with him n vice versa. My oldest is 12 and her step father stepped in when she was 5 she calls him dad even though her real dad is involved that was her choice. She loves them both. if we would spIit I would expect him to treat her like his blood child, blood or not. In my case her bio dad also sees her but we are all mature about the situation. The more support and genuine love a child has the better.
We don’t know the whole situation but I would say if she wants to have contact and maintain a healthy relationship with a man who was once her father figure that shouldn’t be discouraged. You said she’s 11? She should be able to tell you how she feels and support her.
So, why haven’t you blocked the number? Why haven’t you blocked his Facebook and other social media accounts?
Go get a do not contact order, file a restraining order.
If he is caught messaging her he gets into trouble.
Facebook won’t care if he’s posting her picture but the police will🤷🏼‍♀️
Does the child feel uncomfortable 2 be around him or is it solely ur problem? Are the pics inappropriate in nature? Sometimes there’s a connection between adults and kids that isn’t there with others depending on how long u were together. Is it ur gut feeling that there might have been something more than just posting pics? Regardless if an order has been legally placed for no contact then press charges. Block the number and block on Facebook. U can report him on Facebook for harassment. Id change her number regardless. It isn’t the end of the world 2 learn another number.
He has a court order to not contact her , turn him in !
There are two sides to every story.
Guna need more info…. How long were you two together? Does she have a dad? Was he her “dad”? Just saying he’s your ex doesn’t really tell us the info to that we need to know to end the contact properly.
If you take your ex out of your daughters life how is that going to affect your daughter…? Do they have a good relationship…? At what point do your problems become her problems? You need to keep in mind that he was her father figure for a while and it is not in anyone’s best interest especially your child to suddenly rip him away from her and not let her have contact with him. You said yourself he’s not doing anything wrong just telling her that he loves and misses her… There’s nothing wrong with that those emotions are probably reciprocated by her. You need to figure out how to get your feelings out of the situation and figure out what’s best for your daughter.
You need to change her number and protect her
File a cease and desist so he has to take the pictures down and leave her alone. Also request a restraining order
Protect your baby at all costs, charge his ass with harassment and change her number. That shouldn’t even be a question in your mind.
She’s 11, and it’s your job to protect her. Whether it be changing/blocking numbers and fb profiles to contacting the police… we don’t know your reasons, do what’s best for your kid.
I haven’t seen anyone mention this, but I see it a bit differently than everyone else. I see it as since he’s not able to be close with the OP, he’s now getting close to the daughter. To either get info, keep tabs, etc. If he’s narcissistic, then he’s going to keep finding ways to feel like he’s in control or has a grasp onto something.
Not enough info here… How long was he in her life? Was he abusive? I know men that continued role as dad to kids that arent there’s after a break up… If this is about you… Then ask your child what she wants… She is old enough… Otherwise file a restraining order.
Is she replying? How long did he help raise her? You can’t stop a step parents from still loving the child or the child to stop loving someone that shared her life! There’s always two sides to a break up, and sadly kids are put in the middle 
. Sit your daughter down and ask her what she wants instead of assuming!! Love between kids and those adults in their life doesn’t stop when the marriage does. Talk to your daughter!!
Protect your daughter ! If he isn’t complying with no contact order he is not respecting the system and he is capable of much more ….contact your attorney for advise…please
I dont even wanna finish reading this if it’s a no contact then well hello he is doing a content of court…(its called blocked,change numbers, etc)
Have your daughter block his number.
If this is an order contact the police they will pit a stop to it.
Just block his number from her phone, so he can’t contact her.
Do you have a restraining order I guess Tim to stay away and no contact with her because if so you need to call the police because he’s violation of restraining order I’d get the police involved If you have to just sounds a little weird why is he being like that You don’t want nothing bad to happen to protect her daughter change the number block him whatever you have to do to stop it you as a mother can stop this so step up be the mom and protect your daughter
See this is why I said the other day about one mom favoring another grandchild over the others that weren’t blood when the couple wasn’t married BECAUSE of this!!!
he’s been described as toxic, manipulative & narcissistic. The good ones can look to others as great family man while controlling & crushing you’re soul.
So if he’s a good guy, Where is HIS responsibility? He’s ignoring requests & using taunting F/B tactics. All he’s doing is creating an extremely unhappy & anxious environment for the step child. Wether right or wrong, if he really was father material, he would never put a child he loves through this. He wouldn’t walk away & give up but would walk away to give space & do as asked. By doing this it shows that he’s a good man that’s willing to work with mum going forward & deserves the right to remain in childs life. Remember if many women don’t realise domestic abuse is happening to them, how on earth can an 11yr old decide what’s best for herself??
If the court granted you the right to keep him from contacting her then there is enough reason for you to, without question, file a motion against him for contacting her AND posting her pictures, and get a restraining order. Try to contact Facebook and report the pictures as not his to post. And you definitely should change her number ASAP.
Sounds like he’s abusive and manipulative and that this is his last resort to get to you. So stop him.
Did he sign over rights?
Your the mom I think you know what you have to do!
You can just block his number from her phone. Do it NOW before he gets in her head. She is young and vulnerable. That’s just creepy. And make sure to monitor her phone.
Call the police if he is violating a court order
How long was he in her life? He may be having trouble coping. He probably really cared for her and feels bad
How long were you with the man? Because if it was years he may be having a hard time with more than just a breakup.
First off how does your daughter feel? Just bc you dislike him doesn’t mean she don’t have a bond with him. Just bc you choose to leave and move on does not mean she has. So I would take in her feelings 1st and then go from there
Maybe know who the guy is before you invilve them in your children’s lives? Didn’t you get to know him before introducing him into your kids life? And if so then why bring someone so toxic and manipulative into their life in the first place? Women need to slow down and be moms first.
You need to protect your daughter at all costs but as far as what you can do regarding him. There’s really not enough information to give a good answer.
No contact means no contact, he is in violation of that. I would change her number
Um if there is a no contact order in place call the police? He’s violating it which isn’t something courts look fondly at. And block his number. It’s not that hard.
Well how does your daughter feel about him messaging, is she messaging back? If she’s happy to talk to him then leave them alone, just because you have an issue with him doesn’t mean she does.
Block him on everything and ignore the weirdo… just go about your life and move on !!
He’s in contempt of court.
I dont think people are reading this post right he is an EX not the childs father
Block his number on her phone. It will still go to voice-mail though but then you will have proof of his contact. Also block his account on facebook. Then call the local police and ask what to do next. I believe you can also report it to Facebook and they will take it down.
Given the fact that she is not his biological child and instills contact with her and posting pictures on social media, if the biological father of the 11-year-old knows his name and what not he can find out information going through his social media account. It’s not a good thing. If he does not have express written consent from the 11 year olds mother, he cannot post those pictures and she can have them removed from social media by contacting them explaining that that is her child and then he does not have the right to do it. Legally they have to take them down because she is not giving her expressed consent for him to post them. I don’t care if the relationship was two days two weeks to months to years whatever, he has no legal right to be posting them. Now as far as the texting goes it does not matter he is not a part of her life anymore he cannot contact her. A judge would look at it the same way. It doesn’t matter if it was two days two months two weeks two years or whatever he is not a part of her life he’s not going to be a part of her life anymore he needs to stop the contact. It will confuse the 11-year-old further with the circumstances by him continuously contacting her. My advice contact your cell phone carrier and have them block the number.
I feel like if he was never like this with her while y’all were a unit then he’s doing it just to be manipulative. What does your daughter say about it? I’m weird about posting pics of my kid anyway so that’s not cool and he does need to stop that, especially if you’ve told him to quit.
Women want men to raise their kids as their own but as soon as they split they are supposed to just forget about that “kid” 