Why would you let anyone tell you that YOUR KIDS can’t be in your wedding. They’re YOUR kids ! Ask the girls what they want to do. If they even want to be in his wedding
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This would be hard for me because even though he didn’t “allow” your girls to be at your wedding he still wants them in his wedding and that’s just wrong in so many ways. I wouldn’t want my kids to be apart of his either because of principle but this situation can’t be controlled either so as bad as it may make you feel I would let them go. But also I would have another event or ceremony for you and new hubby and let your girls be apart of it also. It does suck but being resentful will only the hurt the kids in the long run. Be the bigger person and your kids will see that as they get older.
How could he “not let your girls” be in your wedding? Does he have full custody?
He didn’t have a say in your wedding either. 
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Well your just a dumb one. 
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Shoulda put your foot down when y’all first split up who has custody sounds like he has majority of custody cause no man gonna tell me my kids can’t be part of something for me unless judge says that man can
I don’t know why you would listen to begin with it sounds like maybe he has full custody or something if not then you’re insane to listen to him
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Good luck to his new wife…
He’s your ex for a reason. Why did you let him Make the decision of not allowing your children to be in your wedding? That’s not his call.
Don’t be evil because he is, let it go… focus on love and correct communication with your girls… You don’t need that Energy.
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I don’t know what to tell you, I would’ve had them in or at my wedding regardless of what he wanted and then it would be completely fair now🤷🏻♀️ I wonder how it made them feel that you didn’t even fight for them to be there?
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I’ve been reading a lot of posts this morning kind of similar to this and I just don’t understand why he would let your ex-husband decide what you’re doing with your new life. If he wanted to be petty and make a big deal about it you do the same. Don’t let your girls be in the wedding why because he did the same thing and when he asks tell him that exact reason because he didn’t want the girls to be in your wedding so why should they be in his. 
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I have dealt with this drama of the other parent/father for yrs. my daughter is 16yr old & it started when he decides too play daddy when she was around 8yr old. I had too give notice per court order too take my daughter on vacation- he’s played games as far as my current husband, myself, younger daughter at the time and my 16yr old had too wait too leave for our vacation when the rest of the family went ahead because of the games. I didn’t have my daughter for so many trips cause of his games - last yr went too Chicago, Ill had to leave ahead & my daughter stayed with my mom so we could go on our trip without making cancelations, Mind you I gave him the 45day notice on it, I was just 2 days shy of 45days. Now fast forward too 3 weeks ago now, he takes my daughter too Hawaii without telling me ANYTHING just took off with her on “his day” for the week. He didn’t inform me of it he was even going - I know of it cause of my daughter but didn’t know exact dates or where she was going. I could go on forever… but the one thing I recommend is GOING too FAMILY COURT and getting on the order written word by word of things NOT too be done and what want on order because what I have dealt with I wish upon NO MOTHER or hell FATHER for that matter. Get too Family Court and get that order written better word by words and make sure too have law enforcement can get involved if orders not followed.
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Tell him no same rules apply
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Does he have full legal and physical custody? I can’t really understand why you would allow him to dictate when you can see your kids, unless you don’t have any custody of them. If it’s split then I don’t know what to tell ya, you made a big mistake giving in to him and having your kids miss that special day with you. You can’t stop him from having the kids at his wedding, just like he couldn’t have stopped you. Again, unless he has full custody and is allowed to make all the decisions.
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If you didn’t want the drama by having your girls at your wedding, don’t start drama by him putting the girls in his. Is it fair, No but if you don’t want drama from standing up for what you want, you’ll just have to let it go
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I would be so upset and wouldn’t want them to go either but don’t punish the kids more than your ex husband already has. It sucks they missed out on yours but they would probably be more bummed to be left out another wedding over pettiness.
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Document it for any future incidents or accusations against you. It’s all you can do now. Don’t stoop to his low level. I don’t with my ex. He tries to get me to. In the future make plans on your time. I wound have to assume your kids couldn’t be at your wedding because it was his custodial time because if it was on your time it shouldn’t have mattered to him.
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You do have a say, just like he did. Simple as that.
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Get your girls, you happen to take a vacation at that time, oops you forgot to tell him
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I would have never gotten married without my children. Not to sound rude, but you let him have that control and now he’s going to control this situation, also. You stood your ground to be begin with, but I wouldn’t stop your children from being his wedding because then you’re no better than him.
He still controlling you and your not together
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Nothing, you can do nothing, the time for you to do something has passed. You should have told him to go str8 to hell when you were getting married and had the girls in your wedding. Doesn’t matter how “Controlling” he is, he can no longer “Control” you. He is now his new wife’s problem, stop being a doormat for a man you’re no longer married to. As a matter of fact, don’t ever be a doormat for anyone. As far as this wedding and the girls go, let them be there, remember, the girls probably want to do it. It’s not about what you want or what you feel is fair, stop using those kids as weapons to hurt each other. Tell him to f off and that he doesn’t get to make all the decisions about your children. If he continues to be a dick, go back to court and let them help him understand he cannot be a bully and make all the decisions about your children. But don’t put those kids in the middle of your issues with that dick head.
Stop thinking about yourselves. The girls are 7 & 9… they are old enough to decide for themselves if they feel comfortable participating in the wedding. I hope someone considered their feelings and asked them what THEY WANT to do, what makes THEM HAPPY. You are both in new relationships and shouldn’t be focusing on petty matters, ask the girls if they want to be a part of their dads wedding or not. It’s simple.
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You dont have a say because you didnt want to say anything
Don’t do the same thing . Let the girls be in his wedding , I think your girls should of went to yours … but oh well it’s in the past, don’t make the same mistake twice. Your girls deserve it .
Pray and do not let confusion on your part destroy a special day for your children and their father on a day that could be a Blessing in disguise.
IDK which of you have custody or both…it’s sad that he was so petty & immature at the time of your wedding to your new husband, but that doesn’t mean you have to reciprocate. It should depend on whether your daughters want to be in the wedding, not whether you want to do the same to him because he did it to you.
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Stop being a petty immature person and think about your children. Quite frankly who cares that they are in his wedding but not yours you let that happen. How is it that he has more say so than you? If hes that big of a controlling bastard and an ex for a reason stop giving him the control. Hes npt the problem at this point YOU ARE!
Show up and take em at the wedding say if I can’t have em at mine you can’t have em at yours
I can relate! My ex actually went to my kids grandmas house in the middle of the night the night before my wedding and took our son. My son was 4 at the time he was at the rehearsal the night before. At the time we didn’t have anything in writing as far as custody so the cops couldn’t do anything about it. My son is now 13 and is finally seeing how his dad really is. That was the best day and worst day. Just don’t bad mouth ur ex to ur kid because one day they will see what you saw the whole time! Keep your head up!
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You’re giving him way too much control over things
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The girls are old enough to make this decision. Sit and explain everything without talking bad about dad. Let them decide from there
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its disgusting and I agree with you but be the bigger person. If anything Id ask to meet her at least.
Don’t stoop to his level! Let the girls be in it.
Ask your girls what they want?
Some of these posts make me wanna scream into a pillow 
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The tragedy here is that your children are going to have to endure his obvious controlling behaviors, you fortunately no longer have to unless you continue to give him that privilege
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Excuse me what lmao. If my daughter’s father tells me that she can’t be in my wedding, I will have her as the flower girl, ring bearer, bridesmaid, groomsman, and I will have her officiate my wedding. I dare mine to try that crap 
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You can’t do a thing-
Why in the hell did you allow him to decide to not include your daughters in the wedding? His opinion be damned it’s your wedding. My daughters will be my flower girls be damned what my ex husband says.
I would NEVER allow for my ex husband (our girls are 6 almost 7 and 9) to not be apart of my wedding. I don’t care how much of a marshmallow I am and how he usually gets his way with crap that would never happen.
Really there is no advice to give you got married without them in yours he is including them in his. If it makes you feel better meet the new wife first but I will say you need to start thinking ahead now and recognize that you allowing that he’s going to make it a problem.
I would let the girls be in the wedding if they want to be, but also tell him you need to meet this woman first. That they’re your kids too & if she’s going to be taking such a major role in their life, you at least wanna have an introduction. And then wish them well, do better than he did, for your girls.
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If the girls are happy then don’t rise to his games… let the girls enjoy it and just be the bigger person xx
Just ask your girls what they want and do that. Or just take a vacation somewhere fun during that time lol
I would crash it. A mature man puts his feelings aside. My mom and stepdad went to my step mom and dads wedding.
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Don’t be petty, set an example for your kids and if they ask why just tell them the truth, that their dad don’t want them in your wedding just to make you feel bad and from there they can decide if they want to be a part of his wedding
The girls will love being apart of the wedding, don’t take it away from them out of revenge.
Id be the better person. Let them go. They’ll realize later in life
You don’t. Let them be in the wedding be a better person.
Just like he don’t get a say in your wedding. But you allowed it. You made that choice to side with him for your wedding.
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The best thing to do…tell him even though, you didn’t want our girls in my wedding, if they want to be a part of yours, let them be in it. Best of luck to you in your new marriage. SAY IT ALL WITH A SMILE!!! You already know what kind of a person he obviously is…be the bigger person.
Why would you not allow your kids to your wedding even if he said they couldn’t go. This father right movement just seem to give these narcissist weapons to still stunt the family. Let your girls go to the wedding but I would have a long conversation about how their dad forbade them from your wedding. And be honest about it. “I am so happy you will be going to your dad’s wedding. I want you girls to go to his wedding because it broke my heart when he demanded you not go to mine. Please have a great time and be in all the pictures.”
You decided not to speak up and fight for your daughters to be in your wedding. That is on YOU and no one else. Hard pill to swallow. He is wanting them in his wedding. Be the bigger person and step aside just like he should’ve when you wanted them in yours. If you don’t allow them to be in their dad’s wedding, you are just causing problems and drama for your daughters. If they want to be in it, LET IT GO and let them. You can voice your opinion to him and bring up the fact of it all, but let him know you’re being the bigger person for your girls unlike him when you got married.
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Go to Disney the week of the wedding lol take the girls
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So you’re upset that you buckled and he isn’t. Thats your fault. Stop calling them both your husband.
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Sounds like you’re giving him all the controll. I don’t understand why people have to be so petty.
Say no. Period. Stop letting him control you
How could you even allow him to make you do this? He is your ex for a reason. Your new husband is their step father. So does your ex husband not allow you to have your own kids because he doesn’t like your husband? This is ridiculous.
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Welp! You wanted a FREE drama wedding!!! You should’ve stood your ground as their mother!!!
I mean the petty spiteful part of me wants to say F that… sorry kids will be with me on that day… we have plans … but I mean … I’m a bitch at times. My opinion you have say… he did in yours and you do in his. The same rules should apply all around . He sounds like a dick … sorry this pissed me off . How are he…
have a little ceremony on a beach or in a backyard with your kids and new man. Like not full on but somthing your kids an be apart of … take some pictures. Sounds like he is butt hurt. Also, those girls should have been in your wedding there is NO way my kids would be sitting out of my wedding, their dad can suck a rock.
I’m petty. Let me start there! 
.
I’d be planning a ‘surprise’ vacation for the week of the wedding!!!
Ooops!
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I hate it when the man is the boss.
Just say no. Or go get dressed up and have new pics made with the girls.
I’m so confused…. No where did you call your ex husband, the ex husband. Right now you are married to two different men.
I wouldn’t have got married without my kids there personally, but I also wouldn’t be told by my ex where I can and cannot take my kids when its my time to have them
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Narcissist bc I can see it is how thts how my youngest daughter dad gonna be he likes to be in control of everything
Well I would’ve planned n got married when it was my time weekend whatever when u had your girls an told him to deal with it especially since u share custody he has no say so in that at all, n now look he did u dirty having them in his wedding
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So unfair to the kids…
Be better person, but why have they not met a women hes marrying?? And why do u have no choice. Who has residence custody
Do nothing. You’re dealing with a narc. He wants a reaction out of you. Don’t give it to him. Best thing to do is to ignore all the baiting.
I’d go on a vacation that week with my kids… sorry asshole we have plans that week
Do you have legal custody? Or is it equally jointly? If your rights are even then buck up and tell him NO! Y’all are divorced, no need to keep letting him control you and the situation. I’m sorry you’re going through that but put a foot down.
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Theres nothing u can do about your wedding now it’s done.You should have not let him be the reason they were not in the wedding.Just remind him of that and tell him u don’t want them in his wedding bc they were not aloud to be in yours.See how that goes
Sounds like dad has custody. I wonder why.
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For the kids sake, let it be. Don’t let him see it upset you and go get some family pictures! I imagine he wants a reaction from you. Thank god you’re out and throw a party he’s getting remarried!!!
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Be the bigger person.
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You didn’t put up a fight and just gave in to him saying no. If it’s his weekend or time with the kids then they can be a part of it. The same way if you would’ve done the wedding during your time, he had no say if they were a part of your wedding.
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Where is your support network? To have helped you deal with this so you could have had the strength to stand up to your EX-husband. Now you have a week vacation at the same time to plan.
Kinda confirms the fact that you made a right decision to leave a controlling person for a more peaceful life. Help your girls to endure as best they can and only make a scene for things that are actually harmful for them. God Bless!
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You let your girls go to the wedding is this even a question? Are you more concerned wih getting back at your ex than your kids being happy
…smh
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I’m sorry. I stopped reading after you said your ex didn’t “ALLOW” your girls to be a part of your wedding.
I’m trying to figure out how he was able to stop you. 
Unless he has custody but even then you still have rights.
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Does your ex have full custody of the girls ?
You allowed him to dictate what would happen at your wedding and now he thinks he can dictate everything to do with the girls. You’ll lose them completely if you allow this to continue. Get yourself a lawyer, get to court and have the future sorted out properly . Fight for your girls…you honestly don’t want them being controlled as you were when you were married to him and still are now
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Girl your wedding is done and over with, go and be happy. Quit crying over spilled milk.
You shouldn’t have let him control you. Your girls should have been at your wedding; they’re your daughters too.
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Life is not fair. You already know that he’s controlling. That’s probably a large part of why he’s your ex. Be the bigger person. Let the girls be in the wedding. Remember, you chose not to have your girls in your wedding because you didn’t want drama. Own your choice and the consequences. Make better future choices.
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First you should’ve NEVER gotten married without your children. I would have fought tooth and nail for that. Or eloped on a weekend I had them if I didn’t have custody. You have no say on if they can be in his wedding just as he had no say about yours. You laid down and took it. Stand up to that man and gain more control as a parent. He doesn’t control you and he can’t. He has a problem go to court, fix it there, til then ignore his BS, don’t involve him in everything you do in your life, and don’t involve yourself in what he does. You’re exes for a reason.
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I was a bit confused, because you still referred to him as your husband, not the ex….But he is a narcissist, and he is putting your kids in the middle of his game
He didn’t allow? You’re not married to him anymore. He doesn’t get a say. Stop letting him control you. Does he have full custody of the kids?
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U still following what ur ex said, ur the mother. If u want ur girls to do something then u put ur foot down and be the parent
What an absolute prick 🤷. I’d struggle to keep my mouth shut to him about it tbh but obvs not in front of the kids but that’s just me x
If you knew how controlling he can be… why did you allow him a say so with your kids at your wedding. That’s the first thing. Even though I get it. You just made it easier for him to control your feelings…bc see now he’s doing it again.
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My stepson wasn’t even allowed to attend our wedding. His mother uses him like a weapon to continuously hurt my husband, our children and myself. She has said that our kids are his real siblings and he doesn’t have to care about them at all.
He doesn’t really have a say
You’re not married to him and it doesn’t matter if he likes your new husband or not
Make it a peaceful situation for you and your girls. Take the high road. In the end, your girls will see who the jerk is.
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. I LOVE WHEN ADULTS ACT LIKE CHILDREN. keep it up.
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I’m sorry but you let him control that your kids couldnt be there, hell no I would of kicked off and he wouldnt have a say in it
It’s fair only because you allowed it. You can’t give into his control and then get upset at him for not being firm in your own boundaries.
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How did he have a say?
Just like you don’t have a say in his wedding you shouldn’t have given him the power to have a say in yours.
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Be the bigger person.
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Honestly kill them with kindness. Show them you are the adult and bigger person. Get them a card and small gift from the girls for their wedding and tell them congratulations on their wedding. He is wanting to get a rise out of you. Don’t let them win. It may hurt deep inside to do it but do it with a smile on your face like you don’t care.
I would then do a vow renewal on like your 5 yr or 10yr anniversary. Then do it on your weekend you have your kids and that way he cannot forbid them from going. He cannot do that anyway. What you do on your parenting time is none of his business (unless of cases of abuse or neglect).
Also what do your children want? Do they wish to go and be apart of the wedding? That is still their dad and now their step mom. Wouldn’t it be better to burn the bridges and coparent together to do what is best for YOUR children? Does the new step mom treat your children well? Do they like her? It will make your life so much easier to try to work together with your ex and his new wife. If it can’t be done then maybe go back to court and have custody reestablished.
You can even get it ordered to use a coparenting app on your phone to where you communicate with the other parent. You can talk, video chat, add the kids different activities on a shared calendar so both parents know what’s going on, video chat with your child etc.
At the end of the day your children didn’t choose you to be their parents. YOU and your EX decided to have your children and they should be your main focus. Not worrying about how to get back at him.
Do I think what he did was right? No. But is it truly the right thing to do it back? Maybe your girls are excited and looking forward to it. If you tell them know and raise a stink about it, they will always remember that. Just like what he did by not letting them go to yours.
The more you show you are trying to coparent, you don’t talk negatively about their dad or step mom, the better it is for you. Your girls will remember that as they get older. If dad is being controlling, starting petty arguments to upset you etc, and you simply respond that you wish to discuss this in private and not in front of your children, your girls will see that. They will see in time how controlling their dad is. He will do the damage himself. When your girls come to you complaining about something that happened at dads, as hard as it is, don’t talk bad about him. Just listen and be supportive. Validate their feelings. Encourage them to talk to their dad about how he upset them and to have them discuss their feelings with him.
Also some of those apps you can text and video and you cannot edit or delete them. In some states you can use them in court cases.
I have seen the damage done to kids who parents bad mouthed the other one to the kid and put them in the middle. She had to go to therapy and was even hospitalized because she didn’t know how to handle it. She loves both her parents and she has both of them putting her in the middle and talking bad about each parent. Once they started not badmouthing the other parent in front of her she started doing better. She’s still in therapy and will be cause a lot of damage was done.
Remember it’s about the kids not you. Work together. It will make it easier and happier in the long run!
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You allowed it wen he controlled wut you did🤷♀️
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