I married my highschool sweet heart right out of school. We had a little girl. And then 4 years after having her I found him cheating on me for months with a girl he worked with. I confronted him as I already had a suspicion something was going on because he all of a sudden came out with wanting a divorce. The women he’d cheated on me with he left me that day, pack up all his things and left me and his daughter. He didn’t bother looking back. It took him weeks to contact me about our daughter. We both proceeded with divorce lawyers. But since the divorce I’ve had so many issues with this girl. She feels entitled to my daughter like she’s the mother. He used to tell me she loves my daughter like her own and wants treated like her mom… 3 years later, this women has made my daughter call her mom from a young. Demanded she be apart of anything to do with my daughter as in decision, where she goes for a pediatrician, dentist, and on her account for any dance class information. I have her messaging these facilities through her dads email. Countless Facebook posts of her bashing me and twisting situations or things I’ve said to make me look like a horrible parent. If one piece of my daughters clothing gets just a little to “small” then they take the clothing I send her in and either throw it away or donate it. The girlfriend thinks she has that kind of authority over me. I have video evidence of her being left alone with my daughter and her refusing to give me my child with police there. They were seconds away from breaking down the door. She has a case of child endangerment against her. I filed a paper she can’t be left alone with my daughter and was granted it by a judge as ummmm she has child endangerment against her…I’ve had so many issues and problems with this girl it’s costed me thousands in lawyer fees. To the point I can’t continue on with my life with my new husband as it’s been putting us so much in debt. This girl knows how to work the system to keep from getting in front of a judge as I’m now due to once again go to mediation with the dad for the 4th time. As if that’s worked or him listening to my issues of his girlfriend over stepping her role or position with my daughter. I’m at a loss of what to do. I can’t keep putting my husband through debt after debt paying a lawyer. Has anyone else been through this? Advice?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My exes girlfriend demands my daughter call her mom
Get a restraining order on her where your daughter is concerned, and ask a judge for supervised visitation your child with the father. He isnt making wise choices…
Does your daughter want to call her mom? And do they have kids together? My stepmom asked me to call her mom about a year or two after my sister was born because my sister started calling her “Sarah” because I was. But it was also NOT forced and I chose to because she was like a mother to me.
But she has no right to demand to know the things that are between you and the dad. I’m so sorry you have to go through this
She sounds vile and relentless. I know some women like that. Stand your ground.
You tell your daughter to not call her Momma, and if she don’t like it come talk to you.
Get a restraining order including your daughter. It will mean that whilst in her dad’s care she cannot be around. If she is, breach her, and follow through with breaches eventually she’ll have no choice but to leave your daughter alone.
Sounds like she is trying to steal your whole entire life and your ex is letting her. I’d say get a restraining order against her or set her up somehow so that she can never legally be around your child again. A mother has to do what a mother has to do.
Looks like she’s a narcissist. Or one of those girls that "if I can’t have you no one will, that’s scary
Can’t trust such a demanding woman like that
Get a restraining order and he’ll no she wouldn’t call her mom that would be up to my child never forced
Girl don’t let your child go over there
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Only legal thing I can see is the restraining order against her for your daughter. Given the endangerment against her it shouldn’t be hard. And if you think dad let the gf be around your child call for a welfare check. Also so play therapy for your child to help cope with this behavior.
Sounds like she may be working on trying to parentally alienate you to get you completely out the picture.
I’d say definitely use her case against her to get a restraining order so she can’t be there when your daughter is there and if she is REPORT it and have contempt brought against dad. He could lose all rights to the daughter if he fails to comply.
No advice but I’m so sorry you’re going through this 
Change that parenting plan. They are not married and she’s just a gf…why would she get any say so in anything
Restraining order and dont let the kid back over there have court involved
I’ve been with my partner for almost 2 years, he has full custody of his daughters, i have given his daughters the choice as to what they want to call me, I’d never force them to call me, mom. I also have 2 children of my own and ket them choose what they call my partner. I think this girl is dangerouscto be around that child. She is way over stepping her bounds.
I would just take the daughter and move. Remove all contact. He didn’t care when he left the first time. Why care now.
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Get a restraining order, and tell her to go get herself knocked up with her OWN kid
Contempt of court, file for an emergency hearing, anything so you don’t have to send your daughter there and not be held in contempt as well. If the situation isn’t safe take legal action.
She sounds like a nut job.
The kids take the brunt of this BS. Even if you don’t discuss it in front of her she knows there is tension. Other than working with a good lawyer which I know can be costly. I have no advice. But you and your daughter and husband have my sympathy.
My niece went and hrough that. She got a lawyer and a t went before a judge. The new wife was told by the judge in no uncertain terms to keep her mouth shut, the decisions were to be made by the father and mother and her concerns were not relevant whatsoever in this the raising of the child at all.
All of y’all sound childish and petty. Put the kid first. Stop the he said she said bs. Go to counseling. Heal.
You definitely need to get the courts involved, and limit her involvement!
Get a restraining order against her on you daughters behalf she will get arrested if she is within a certain distance of you daughter
Thats weird as hell… Even my bf who has been there for my daughter since before she was even born isn’t like that… she needs to go!!
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Have your husband look for a job out of state and move.
Refuse the mediation… get in front of a judge …show them why you are refusing since all the other mediation would be documented… get a restraining order so the girlfriend cannot be around your daughter…and get a court order for sole custody if you have to …or only supervised visitation with father only…
This is so messed up. The sure don’t give step parents those rights here. They won’t even allow them in the court room if one of the parents says they don’t want them there.
It says in our agreement that he won’t do that that. A child should not be forced that especially when they didn’t ask for this circumstance. My children think it’s awkward enough they have to stay with the other woman when they see their dad. They just want their parents not the baggage.
Restraining order !!!
Have you and your new husband ever consider to move ? Something to be thinking about it
My son was in a situation where his father dated a girl who had 4 kids all taken away by the state. She was still granted full access to my child (4-5 y.o. at the time) without any restrictions! Well over $10k and 3 years later, it was put in our court documents that she (by name) could no longer be alone in the presence of our child. 3 months later she legally changed her name and my $10k was a waste. I never tried taking custody away from dad, only limiting access to the accused child abuser, for the record. A restraining order won’t be granted unless there is proof of abuse or neglect, it will only piss her off and likely cause her to retaliate. Document everything. Everything. Buy yourself a cheap calendar and write events on the date that it happens. Your calendar will be your saving grace in meditation or court. And allow her to attend mediation too… the court commissioner will lay out for her as to what her boundaries are and you will be allowed to agree to those terms or refuse.
Why are you giving her your power . Stop!! 
You don’t owe him and her anything. Cut 
them off!! He has put you and your daughter in a unpredictable vicious toxic cycle 
. You signed off your contract 
. Ghost them 
. Get away from them. You and your daughter deserve peace 
and happiness 
She’s the girlfriend. She should not have access to medical records, school or any of that information. Make sure everyone is informed of who she is. A ppo will work for you but family law usually does it get the child involved. So much depends on your state. If you have to go back to court demand a judge. Get court orders. What does your daughter say about this woman? Is she scared? Does it to call her mom? Get that on record with someone besides you such as school, counselor or another third party professional. The can go to court with you & have nothing to gain. They will be there as your daughter’s voice
Stop going to mediation and request an actual hearing in front of a judge. You’re seriously letting this control your life.
Go before a judge quit agreeing to mediation.
Ask for him to have to repay any fees that come about from her. Aka, the child endangerment.
#HellNaw!! Get your own child,but NOT here!!!
Use a password only you and teachers doctors know etc
It sounds like to he’s putting her in danger I’d file for full custody cuz he keeps leaving her with the GF and he’s not surprise to do that that’s just what I’d do
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But how do we know this girl isn’t just being a basket case. My ex wife didn’t like my daughter or son calling my new gf mom either but guess what q kid gets to make that up for them self. My ex wife would get all passed cause they called my gf mama k and Ashley my ex mama a
They both have disability and couldn’t talk well so that how they different the name to make it work so we could under stand my ex was so fucking mad at my new gf who did everything as a step parent and more she did everything and when we would ask my ex to come to appointments or just a time away with the kids so she wouldn’t miss out she would have something to do or couldn’t go my new gf was taking my son to speech and my daughter to play groups cause there mother was a pos. Fast forward to today she made up a bunch of shit I court to try and make my gf look bad then. Me and my gf go through a rough patch and she completely kidnapped both my kids. Don’t complain about ur kid loving someone else then say that they are forced my ex did that and it’s fucking wrong
My ex warned his new wife when they first met never to cross those boundaries with me and my kids! It’s up to him to put her in her place and if he doesn’t then it’s time to go to court! This is actually scary to me!
Copy every msg have all others keep a record of msgs
Yea no I wouldn’t agree to mediation. Would go for an actual court hearing. And honestly try for a restraining order. And a cease-and-desist involving all posts that mention you in any form. And contacting her doctors, schools and anything else. She’s not a parent to that child. 
I’m very sorry you are going through this. It seems you have a long road ahead of you.
Since she has your ex’s balls in her purse, it’s time that you put your foot down.
- Go file for FULL custody.
Once you’re in front of the judge, take proof that this chick has child endangerment charges and request that she not be around your child. Make sure you take the police report for the time that she wouldn’t give you your daughter. - Contact ALL of the facilities that has to do with your daughter and let them know that YOU are the only one that can get information for your child. Let them know that a lunatic has access to her father’s email account. You will probably have to go to each place and let them know what’s going on.
- STOP looking at it as putting your husband through debt. This is your kid so he should be understanding. He knows the situation that you’re going through and if he loves you and your daughter, it shouldn’t be a problem.
She’s not a parent of any kind not even a step parent she can not demand to be called mom or demand to have any decision making in anything involving ur child. Keep records of all messages and anything said or done but I would definitely try to officially get this taken care of through a court hearing and not mediation since mediation isn’t getting anywhere. Good luck
Document Everything!!!
It. Was. In. My. Divorce that. No. Oneekse. But real. Parents. Are. Called. Mom. And. Dad
Nope she can get these hands real quick. All of that is highly inappropriate and shame on his part what a dead beat father. Go to court hun you should not be dealing with this and I’m so sorry. I pray for a good outcome for yu and your daughter.
I would take it to court. Sounds creepy.
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She definitely should be kept away from your daughter.She is nuts.If you already have it court documented that she cant be with your child get her arrested for going against that.your ex as well.since he thinks its ok
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She is out of place. Only you ex can fix it though.
That’s called parent alienation and a judge would rip her and your ex to shreds in court. Your best option, as much as it sucks, is to get one REALLY good attorney and file for sole custody. They don’t take parent alienation lightly, and the fact that she has a child endangerment charge on her and your ex is still allowing her around the child shows that he does not put the child’s best interest or safety first.
Your daughters mental and physical health is worth every penny you spend on a lawyer.
Along with the restraining order that others are mentioning, you can also have certain language put in your custody order stating that the paramour has no say in any decision making and is not allowed to cause any issues between the parents.
I would make your lawyer add this as well.
She has no legal right to do the things she is doing, put your foot down and make her stop.
Hell!!! To go the no!
Sounds like the lawyer you have isn’t doing a very good job.
Step parents usually have no legal rights. If talking to your ex doesn’t work, you need to call your lawyer.
You’ve allowed to much already
I think you need a new lawyer. Yours isn’t doing his job. You’ve been paying a fortune and he’s not drawn up paperwork to try to get you sole custody since your ex is with this woman who is obviously a danger to your child. He should have no custody and supervised visitation as long as he insists on staying with her. This parental interference she’s pulling is not in your daughter’s best interests and it’s time you got a lawyer who would point that out to the court.
At this point she would be catching these hands…screw that…obviously the system is not protecting you and your child. And that is sad. Say no to anymore mediation and ask for a judge to hear you out. How can she even be allowed around your child with the endangerment charge? My sister didnt get any charges but she lost all rights to her last child and CPS told me I could loose my kids if I let her stay at my house. There has to be something you can do, get child welfare involved real quick if you find out she is around your daughter while at dad’s house. You can call the 1 800 number for the national child abuse line on weekends and they will get the right people out there quickly. What she is doing is abuse, and the ex is allowing it to happen.
Step parents have NO rights when both parents are present in the child’s life if make it a point to tell the judge. She had NO say in what her daughter does and I’d say I do not want her allowed at doctors and such
Eh if your husband loves you he will help you keep fighting for your baby. I went through similar for 6 years and it costs me thousands and while my husband didn’t want to waste one penny on my ex or his horse face wife he says he would do it again for my kids. Keep fighting and find a better lawyer.
You need a new lawyer ! There is no way this needs to continue! My ex was with a woman who had child endangerment against her as well, In my custody papers it states plainly “(Child) Shall have no contact with (Girls name) under any circumstances ever”
I’d file emergency custidy keep the daughter till the courts step in
Child endangerment charges? 
Please get emergency full custody until your ex realizes his gf is not good for your daughter.
File an emergency petition for sole custody and restraining order against her. Also get a new lawyer.
My sister went thru a situation like this the step mom is a bitch lol same shit she actually told us that the dad can’t have anything to do with my niece unless we give her rights to my niece the Bihh is a fruit cake and needs real mental help but we got a lawyer and got sole custody and she can’t come anywhere near any of us or my niece
Get a new lawyer. Yours obviously isn’t helping.
Get a new lawyer, put your foot down
So i was in a similar situation like this as a child with a stepmother. Eventually her and my dad broke up for good and it was the best thing for our family. I was a couple years older than your daughter. The control from someone who wasnt my parent was overwhelming but she also acted supportive and loving sometimes and gave a structure that i didnt have. Now looking back at it she did alot that i learned from but i have not talked to her since they broke up because it was really bad and really messed with my head. I dont think your overreacting about this situation. I think that you are doing everything you can and you are protecting your daughter. Maybe get a different lawyer that will take it more serious. Its definately hard because at the end of the day…dad is gonna be in a relationship who he feels he wants to be with and unless a restraining order is placed its gonna be difficult to make sure that is enforced at all times.
Sounds like a classic hateful nutcase. She is your daughter not hers. Start acting like ut. She has no legal right to your daughter. Stop it now.
Why in the world are you even allowing your child to go around that woman?!?!?!?. If the dad wants to choose to be with a woman like that over choosing his daughter then so be it, he should not see her. If you don’t have court orders stating that he gets her once or 3 times a week or y’all alternate every other week, then you soils not let her go over there.
Stop going to mediation and go to court.
I would apply for full custody,
She sounds like she has mental problems and your ex is a fool to go along with her behaviour,
You need to protect your daughter from this nut case
Poor kids always pay the price of adults making crappy decisions 
Keep screenshots and texts etc. Of everything she does and then file an emergency restraining order on her for you and your child and include everything you possibly can. Between posts showing she is obsessed with you and your daughter and her prior charges, you should be granted an emergency restraining order and (I’m going by California, idk about other states) you should be seen by a judge for an emergency hearing. For the time being, between being granted the emergency restraining order and seeing a judge, she will not be able to be around you or your daughter. Document ANYTHING showing her breaking the order or posting nasty posts etc. everything so you can present it to the judge.
Don’t agree to anything in mediation. I believe you’re required to try mediation first so request to do mediation in separate rooms so he can’t stare you down or intimidate you and immediately say you do not want to agree with anything because you fear for your childs well being while in the care of her father due to the girlfriend having prior endangerment charges and that she is obsessed with your daughter. If you don’t agree in mediation, you will go in front of a judge. I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this!
She says she wants to co parent then doesn’t do anything to co parent.
Yah. Keep her far away from you. She’ll only be toxic in the long run.
File for emergency full custody. Take your daughter to counselling on how it maxes your daughter feel being made to call your ex’s partner mum.
Get a new lawyer and take your ex to court and state that you don’t want your ex partner around your daughter because she is over stepping and trying to be the parent.
With evidence a judge can state that your ex’s partner can not be around your child in his care and can not be involved in any choices made about the child.
Don’t agree to anything in mediation so it can go to court! It’ll cost more money BUT you’re already spending money you don’t want to keep spending. Let the court hear your concerns and they’ll decide what’s best for her! Been there…
Find someone who will help pro bono
Seek a possible order of protection against her. Im sure itll be granted based on her charge and that way she cant be around her at all
How about filing a no contact order for the girlfriend done deal…
Hell no have never been through that and my ex knows it would NeVeR happen. I’d have to go straight to her and have a nice one on one talk.
File for emergency full custody and an order of protection for the girlfriend due to her child engagement charge, and supervised visitation for the father since he’s in an active relationship with her.
Get a new lawyer. Go to court, in front of a judge and ask for full custody and for him to have supervised visitations since he hasn’t been following your parenting plan & if I was you I’d file a restraining order against his girlfriend for your daughter since she has history of child endangerment
Restraining order asap b confront her and talk say she’s not your daughter she doesn’t need to call you mom…let her know!!
I’m surprised she’s allowed to be in the house when your daughter visits them when she has an endangerment warning against her tbh…its almost impossible to avoid leaving a child alone with someone else at some point…id be making it supervised visits for Dad only as hes also endangering his child by having this woman involved in his daughters life
This sounds like tons of money thrown away in the Tessa over pettiness. Why can’t people just come together for the child’s sake. Respect one another parent and fuck of from teaching others how to raised their child. Unless they birth them. I don’t see why even give her the benefit of doubt to even have my kid in her posesión .
First of all go to legal aid and get advice…stop paying your lawyers because they arent doing anything except costing you money…when you go to legal aid say you are seperated so you dont have to pay
As for the exs gf you dont have to tell her about doctor appt or anything…she has no rights and you stop texting her and you dont answer her texts you owe her nothing…if your ex contacts you about your daughter then only talk to him…stand up for yourself you have been letting this woman control you for so long so STOP…your ex is being controlled by her…dont let her control you too
Contact police and find out what can be done
Diana Wilken cheating is grounds for divorce in the Bible if you wanna go that route. Which is what he did.