My 13-year-old daughter just came back from her aunt’s house again, saying that her aunt and cousin commented on her acne again. It happens every time she goes there. Her aunt once gave her some kind of soap to use (which she won’t). Am I wrong to be upset by this? I feel like them nagging her about her acne, which really isn’t bad, is going to cause her to become self-conscious about it. I feel like it isn’t their place to talk to her about her acne. I feel like if her aunt should come to me about it if she has a solution to it. I’m pretty sure if my niece was to come to my house and I commented on her weight or told her how she should fix it, then there would be repercussions for me on that. Y’all know what I’m saying? I just don’t know what to do about it.
I would address it, I wouldn’t let it continue because of the issue of making her self conscience. Your daughter’s feelings before theirs! Respectful of course but bluntly.
Sounds like they are trying to help to be honest . My daughter tried so many things and nothing really worked and someone recommended something they used and it was what she needed… she was grateful to get it gone…
I would address it. Some children really do become self-conscience on comments, harmless or not. Kindly approach and make it known.
Set some boundaries. Tell the family members that comments about your kids appearance aren’t going to be tolerated and they need to stop. Boom. Done.
Stop letting her go 
They seem like they are trying to help her. Maybe you all should have a sit down family chat and resolve the issue.
Maybe she watches the pop it shows and got scared about how it can become cycts. Acne runs in families and she might be looking out for her health or how cruel other kids can be. Tell her to butt out and tell your daughter that she gets the pimples from her.
Be thankful they are trying to help. No need to be offended.
Take your daughter to a dermatologist.
They are probably trying to help her out but their approach might be wrong.i would talk with your sister without being confrontational. As someone who struggled with severe acne for 10 yrs I hated everyone i came accross giving me advice. I knew their intentions were good but I had already tried it all and uncolicited advice was annoying after the first year
I would think they are trying to help…
My sister tried with my son’s acne after I carried him to the dermatologist and spent hundreds of dollars trying to clear it up…
13 is is not 5… Your daughter will start taking advise from other members of her family, especially if what she is doing isn’t working… While it’s nothing to be ashamed of, it’s going to mess with her self esteem regardless if anyone tries to help her or not…
Address it. But the only thing that has worked for me at all with my acne is this
My mom always gave my nieces unsolicited advise on acne BUT there is empowering way to do to and a downing way.
Bless that baby.
People make me sick.
My best advice is she does have an acne issue. Pro Active cleared me up. And my daughter.
If it bothers your daughter, then yes you should address it…
Does your daughter eat diary??? That really can cause it
I don’t know, have you guys tried talking about it together as…a…family?
Address it, ask if they realize that constantly pointing out imperfections repeatedly can give a child or young women self esteem issues. Ask them to refrain from going to her and instead bringing new ideas they may have to you
Depends on how they say it to me if they say it rudely then I would definitely talk to them about it but if they say it nicely and r sincere about it it would be different
Talk to her aunt and explain how you feel about it. They may not see how they’re overstepping and what it’s doing. They may just think they’re being ‘helpful’ or that it doesn’t bother her.
I have a skin condition that looks like acne on steroids, and people like to give me ‘suggestions’ all the time; I know they’re just trying to be helpful in their own ways, but they don’t see how I want to pretend it doesn’t exist. Just shh.
So go ahead and sit down with the aunt one-on-one and talk to her. Explain your thoughts and feelings.
I can remember being an awkward 12 year old with terrible acne. Everytime I went to my aunts her husband would make comments to me about my face, and how it was going to scar. I remember feeling embarrased & wished he would keep his comments to himself. My acne didnt go away until I was 15 and started hormonal birth control. That was the only thing that worked for me, and I tried everything. So this sounds weird but my bfs son struggles with acne and I always do facials with him, I bought him some apple cider vinegar and he uses it as a toner once daily… within a month he was all cleared up. It’s all about the way you approach things bc ppl can be cruel without meaning to be. I would sit down and have a conversation, especially if it bothers you ,or her!
When I had bad acne as a young adult, my doctor was able to prescribe an oral med that cleared my face right up. It’s not okay for people to make anyone feel bad for something they can’t control. My acne was hormonal, and entirely out of my control. I think seeking medical advice and having a heart to heart with your family members might help. Those comments can stick with someone for the rest of their life.
Its not right if it makes her uncomfortable. I would definitely put a stop to it
no judgment try dial soap
In my family we all raise each other. It’s a true village. If she’s offering support/advice/products… I think you should say thank you and be grateful that they care about your daughters well being. If family is pointing it out and noticing it— so will other kids… and kids can be so damn cruel. Definitely talk to the aunt if you feel like this should be addressed with you instead of your daughter— but do so with kindness in your heart. Not everyone has extended family that gives a shit. If they’re making fun of her and bullying her that is a completely different story— but simply noticing/acknowledging it and offering advice should be encouraged IMO
My grandchildren used Proactive, worked wonders!
I mean if it keeps happening why do you keep letting her go over there?
I think there only trying to help her. I know I would hope someone would be able to give me advice if my kids had something wrong that could later effect them down the road. The acne may not seeM bad but if you don’t take care of it now it’s only going to get worse, she’ll end up with scars or even have kids maybe making fun of her one day. I know as a mom we just want to always protect our kids but I think they also want to help
i can relate only its my weight, as a child my dads family would comment about my weight i was 5 years old. it didnt help one bit and i just got bigger from there.
i was insecure for many years but my weight isnt the most important topic no more people move on.
Tell them to shut tf up
I tried everything w/my daughter as she had cystic acne…even doc meds didnt help…using gold dial bar & hydrogen peroxide worked like a charm
Don’t let her go over there!
I would tell them exactly what you just told us as nicely as you can to avoid defensiveness.
They might only be trying to help, but they should come to you. They shouldn’t be mentioning it to her unless she brings it up/asks for advice. You need to speak up and tell them to stop mentioning it.
Take her to a dermatologist.
Well are you doing anything about it? Parents should try to step in and help them with it, even if the kid isn’t too worried about it right now. Acne scars are awful as an adult if you don’t get it taken care of! I would do the same if it was a someone I cared about especially a kid and no one else was doing anything about it. I would never let my kids’ skin get bad and not do everything I could to help it!
Use this moment to teach her to stick up for herself. If she doesn’t want their opinions on it etc. She should tell them. The rest of the world will say whatever they want to her about her acne, body e.t.c. she should learn the skills to shut them down and to not internalize their opinions 
I took my son to the dermatologist and it has helped tremendously
Stop putting your daughter in that situation, as someone who had aunts that talked crap about me 13-15 to my face when my mom wasn’t around, its toxic and it really does mess with a kids mind, regardless of the why, it probably hurts your baby’s feelings because its not her fault for having acne. Shame on them for continuing to make comments that aren’t asked.
A 13 year old should be able to tell someone, especially family, when they’re over stepping.
I get the mama bear feelings but maybe push her to have the confidence to speak for herself instead of fighting her battles.
tetracycline - get her some from her doctor
Tell the aunt exactly what you just stated
I around the same age dealt with comments avout acne as well and I just simply reminded the people commenting on it that their face caked with makeup to cover their imperfections is going to make theur skin look like leather and wrinkle it much sooner than my mostly makeup free face 
only makeup I wore was eyeliner and mascara most times on special occasions id wear foundation and eyeshadow. But I kept it light and now at 23 my face rarely breaks out compared to those who made the comments who now if they dont have makeup on have red skin and bad breakouts worse than i ever had. Make sure she stands up for herself not necissarily rudely but sturnly and factually. Make sure she knows that her “imperfect skin” can almost guarenteed get better/ be “fixed” wheras their bitterness makes them ugly permanantly.
Its not anyones place to comment on something uncontrollable like acne. Teens get acne, it just happens. That is tackless & rude. Stand up for that young lady and teach her it is not okay for people to treat her with anything less than respect especially family.
I’d be having a talk with auntie about it. That’s b.s. and yes it will make her self conscious. 
It can be devastating to a child to be confronted about a medical condition that can’t be “fixed”. I suffer/suffered from cystic acne since 9. I am 47 and still deal with it. There is nothing that “cures” it. Some days/months/years are better than others. It’s genetic, on top of other factors. My skin is not me. The shame is on those who judge me (and others, seriously!!). I don’t blame my parents, we have to live in the skin we are in.
Have her use ProActiv
I would definitely put a stop to that. She is a child and her own family to do that to her is wrong.
Also I have cystic acne sometimes and of course regular acne always. And this stuff is great I really love it. And wish I had known about it sooner. I’d find myself even hiding my face from my husband and not wanting to go place just because of my acne and it has definitely improved and even helped with the scarring.
Acne and weight are two totally different things. All teens go through puberty, it sounds like they were just trying to help. She SHOULD be using the soap now while she has the chance to prevent future scarring. Speaking from experience.
I hate when family members do that…happened my whole life. I liked short hair when I was younger and it always made my dad mad or family member comments
Mostly dad, brother (older) and stand up for your child. Don’t let others bully her. Amd take her to see someone for it or buy some trail and error products
I had this issue myself and I teach my girls to say it’s my body accept me as me
In my teens I didn’t have great skin and went to the doctors got creams/gels and antibiotics my skin got better in time as I got older but I’m now 28 and have adult acne now 
for about a year I’m now on antibiotics again and have a gel also and my doctor has referred me to a dermatologist x
Everything you just said on this post you got to tell her.
Take a trip to see your kids Dr about it if it’s bad, or just take her on a girls day to eat n the store to pick out some acne wash. Oxy10 is amazing mine use it and it cleared up in 2 days.
… On your girls day discuss the importance of taking care of herself, it can fun, etc. And don’t make a huge deal on it like her aunt did. Doing this will help give your kid the tools to handle the situation if she faces her aunt again about it.
I would talk to the aunt and tell her that you and your daughter are well aware she has acne and will take care if it yourselves. Let her know that your daughter is self conscious enough about it without them pointing it out.
If you see her PCP ask for clindamiacyn. You can get a pill or topical. Pills work best. I have 4 kids who had this issue as well. It’s wrong that family does that and your right it isn’t their place to comment. I know it’s hard to look the other way, but sometimes they are not worth the drama.
It needs to be explained to them that it is not their place to discuss her facial flaws as it encourages poor self-esteem. If it doesn’t bother your daughter, then that is all that matters. They should keep their comments to themselves. If she is bothered by it, then yes, there are topical and oral medications that will help with that but only if she feels it is bothersome.
Call her and tell her to mind her mouth! Reinforce to your daughter how you are going to help her thru this and to take what others say negatively with a grain of salt. Keep a positive supportive home.
My sister does the same to my daughter, but I ask her daughter to clean up after herself I am the bad person. That’s why I am glad we live 600 miles away from each other. Poor kid, don’t let anyone ruin her self esteem
It’s not their place to say something to her about it. If she asks it’s one thing but if it’s not bothering her they should leave it alone. They are going to make her self conscious about it. I would say something to them . Make it clear she’s your child not there’s and they should leave her care to you .
My sister had complained and nagged me how I raised my kids. Sadly my sister and her only daughter do not get along for a long time since my niece moved in with me and my daughters. I had to teach her many things like how I raised my daughters. It’s so tough to teach my only niece to stay positive and happy. No judgements and drama. I tell my sister to be respectful to my daughters otherwise my daughters won’t wanting to see or visit her.
I agree not her child and if she is so worried about her she should just talk to you about it and leave the poor girl alone.
My teens went threw this I started using a vanilla sugar scrub ( we all still love today) and my boys still swear it was the only thing that works for it!
It’s a bit expensive but a little goes along way
Try eating raw tomato & scrubbing it on her face…
Thinly applied White toothpaste over night wash next morning. Good luck sweetie
Tbh I cut my sister off from my kids after she started acting like a nutjob and making inappropriate comments. If talking to her doesnt work cut her off, either way take your daughter to a dermatologist they’ll be able to help and make her feel less insecure
Just keep her home or talk to your sister about how she approaches her neice. She might not have bad intentions but if your offended by how she speaks to your daughter then stand up for you daughter and let your sister know she is hurting her feelings & making her uncomfortable. Or just cut her off to protect your daughter from self esteem issues caused by your sister
Go to the source and tell the Aunt how you feel. Get things in check before they become an issue.
I used vitamin e capsules, just a pin prick (what the aunts being) and put it over the entire face!
In one sense, they just want to help. In the other, you can say, this really bothers her and she loves coming here, can we cool it on point it out to her so much? With everything going on, our girls are ones who are loved and they are not suicidal or in for covid. She needs our encouragement, instead of trying to help, lets wait to see if she needs help in the first place?.. sip your coffee and walk away with a smile. Some things work better when you remove the actual battle and remain focused on the point, your baby girl! You’re not wrong. Sometimes we just need helped or reminded how to be sensitive in such a time as being an awkward age. Good luck 
ya tell your family to grow up
Keep her at home. Done.
Coming from a young adult. ABSOLUTELY this will destroy her sense of self beauty. Acne is apart of life and I believe in the five second rule (if it can’t be fixed in 5 seconds shut the f up!) definitely stand up for your daughter that will help her feel even better about herself. Then do your research coming from someone with sensitive and dry skin DO NOT go for common drug store products!! I personally have been watching a few YouTubers and people on Facebook and she needs a routine that is custom to HER face!! I have been using the Machata Hemp cleanser from Krave Beauty. It’s light and good for a first start. YOU DO NOT NEED A DERMATOLOGIST!!! She needs a good routine a cleanser, and a moisturizer are a good start! Also look into toners (to even skin tone) and serums (these are to target certain issues you have, there are a bunch of different ones for different things) do your research on different chemicals and what they help with. If you’re totally lost look up James Welch here on Facebook and watch some of his videos they have changed my skin!!!
Definitely speak up. My family bullied me about my ears sticking out so bsd that my grandmother paid for me to have plastic surgery at 9 yrs old. I’m 34 and it’s one of my deepest regrets. My aunt always says “well aren’t you glad you did it?”.
No. No I’m not. I don’t even remember the jokes but I do remember the terrible recovery and wouldn’t dream of my child ever feeling bad enough to want to changer his appearance. Nip it in the bud.
I would have a personal conversation letting her know it’s causing issues and if she brings it up again or let’s her child bring it up to her that she won’t be coming over again. Or say you appreciate the concern and help but you’re taking care of it and they don’t need to talk to her about it again because it’s aggravating her. There’s a way to talk about something if you’re actually concerned and that’s not it.
If your daughter is concerned with her acne then I would look into her diet, water intake and vitamin levels as well as probiotics prebiotics and digestive enzymes. Find her a cute little face wash set and maybe acne solution if she wants it and teach her that acne is normal for everyone especially at her age but can also be a sign of health issues or something being off with her body and it’s best to check everything out just in case for her health not her looks. She should also learn to say something like, I appreciate your concern but it’s not your business and it’s not up for discussion in case they bring it up to her again.
When I was younger I had some acne issues. Instead of my family focusing on the negative side of it and mentioning it my mom made it into something special and got me a teen facial for Christmas. We went together (while she got her own service) and made a day out of it. It was nice for a professional to explain to me how to properly take care of my skin and nice to talk to someone I didn’t know or feel like was judging me about it
Two options:
Tell them to stop and allow her to continue to be around them and hope they actually stop.
Stop letting her go around them unless they stop.
They are concerned but what the may could have down was say I got this soap 2 for one do you want to try one end of decision
I wouldn’t allow my child around anyone who makes her feel uncomfortable
Say something. If it’s messing with her and she’s becoming self-conscious. SAY SOMETHING.
Listen, she is your child and show it. That is all.
I have bad acne, I have a majority of my life (hormones and a sweet tooth) I’ve tried an array of products. I would choose to talk to the aunt, but also have a chat with your daughter as she might need to be prepared for some of the non family/friends that are plain old rude. I’ve come across a few.
A kind but direct approach with your family is needed. Let them know that you appreciate their concern but they may not realize that their mentioning it upsets your daughter, you’ve got it handled and you’d really love it if they not bring it up anymore. I’d then tell my daughter that I’ve asked them not to discuss it. I’d try the mature kind approach first and if they can’t respect being asked nicely then I’d be more stern or not allow visits. Maybe they think they’re helping and not even meaning to be hurtful.
I feel like they are coming from a place of wanting to help, explain that to your daughter, and maybe say something to her aunt about it bothering her. I also understand that if it upsets her it should upset you but they probably have experience the pain of being teased or bullied and just want to help her ward that off
I would be upset. Call the aunt and tell her exactly how you feel. She should respect your wishes, if she doesn’t I wouldn’t send her back.
Well what you feel is right, it’s none of their business, it will make her self conscious, it’s not their place to say anything and it’s extremely rude. Tell them exactly that. Speak up for your daughter.
I would lose it. everyone ends up having acne at some point in their life. my daughters was bad and now as an adult she has gorgeous skin now… tell her to keep her chin up and I wouldnt force her to go there anymore if she doesnt want to go.
I totally understand. My daughter has eczema on the palms of her hands, and when she has flare ups people like to put their two cents in. I cut them off and let them know we have a dermatologist, but thanks. She’s extremely insecure about it, so it really irritates the hell out of me when someone points it out. She’s only comfortable talking to me about it so I’ve let certain people know that they are not to comment on it during flare ups.
Even if they have good intentions, it’s already a subject that can cause someone to hideout. I would absolutely tell them it’s not their place to say something to her about it.
I would be very upset. I would absolutely tell them to STFU. poor thing is young and insecure to begin with
Speak up for your daughter you are the only one that will I wish someone would have for me
I am an esthetician
I had bad bad acne as a teenager
Here’s how to help with acne!
Acne is caused by many things you can’t control but also things you can
-
Change pillow case frequently if you can buy 7 affordable pillow cases.
Bacteria from acne, earwax and natural body oils get into pillow cases! -
Avoid products like neutrogena! Too much salicylic acid dries the skin our skin kicks into protective mode to keep from drying out by producing more oil!
3.Exfoliate with a washcloth or exfoliating sponge egg from Walmart
Cleanse,tone,moisturize.
Wash with warm water or if you can afford a mini facial steamer,
This allows for product penetration if your pores aren’t open your not really cleaning it!
Toner for your skin
Then close your pores with cold water then moisturize.
If a products first ingredient isn’t water don’t buy it!
-
If you can afford it start with the basic proactive travel kit.
If not that’s ok.
See #3 -
Diet some things trigger acne but lots of
lemon water
Cucumber water
Berries
And watermelon
Hydrate hydrate hydrate
Your body weight dived by 2 that’s how many ounces of water
you need to drink a day minimum.
Don’t touch your face!
People touch their face constantly we have natural oils, bacteria etc.
Keep your hair pulled back if your active or sweat.
In a months time you will see a big difference!
Hope this helps!
I’d tell them they need to keep their mouths shut if they have nothing nice to say. She’s still so young and doesn’t need that negativity in her life. I don’t understand why anyone would want to make a child or anyone else for that matter uncomfortable with themselves and their looks. If it continues then don’t let her around them . And just let your daughter know she is perfect the way she is and some people are so miserable with their own lives they have to try and bring other’s down. Be up front with them . As mother’s we have to step up for our babies no matter family or not. I’d definitely be upset and heated over it, they have absolutely no right 
I take everything serious when it comes to my kid’s.
The aunt is helping her to prevent something to not get bad, when my son it was 13 yo his acne wasn’t that bad, now he is 14 and is getting terrible, he is using a power (indian healing clay) combined with vinager and it’s working amazing, instead to start drama you should be grateful that someone is helping your daughter to have a healthy skin, there’s nothing wrong teacher our kids to take care of themselves.
I would absolutely be upset! My son has acne issues as well and was always getting told things by family, friends random people etc. He actually had to go on Acutane to help treat it. The dermatologist tried a few other things.
Cerave is over the counter (body wash, face wash and lotion) it worked miracles, We tried proactive, md, clean n clear, Clearasil etx.
I noticed with my son he wouldn’t use the medicine soaps etx the more people got onto him about it. He tended to just “give up” but it would break his heart everytime someone said anything to him.
Uh…you need to stand up to the bullies and show her that external beauty is shallow but what’s in her heart is vital to her character! Would you take that crap from a man?! Woman up and destroy these people! Give that child a voice!
You need to say what you just typed here to the aunt directly. I’m petty, I wouldn’t allow my child back over there. I struggled with acne as a teenager myself. I tried almost everything, everything dried my face up and made it worse, even with moisturizer. A friend told me about a Neutrogena bar… Just the bar not the liquid . I would try it before you try the expensive stuff.
Say what u just said and dont have her go back.
Tell the aunt to bugger off and leave your child alone. That could damage her self confidence. Xx
It is really mean. I suffer from the dreaded adult acne. Made worse by my last pregnancy and the masks we have to wear in stores. I found my routine and it’s getting much better. My grandma was always commenting on everyone’s appearance. Friends other family members. It’s embarrassing I know it’s there I have since I was 12 known my acne is on my face lmao. I’ve started using a microneedle roller and papaya and vitamin c oil and it’s god sent. Everyone’s skin is different and she just has to find what works for her and love herself no matter what. Acne is not the absence of beauty
I didn’t have acne until I was an adult and I think it is very hard to gain your self confidence with it. They should be supportive and not point it out.