Hi, so a little back story before we get into the real issue here…I moved away from my toxic family seven years ago. I don’t really talk to my parents unless absolutely necessary. I was, however, super close to my dad’s parents. I am adopted, but they never made me feel like I was. They never asked unwanted questions or made me feel weird about being adopted. So I became super close to them…I helped my grandpa in his workshop around the house; he bought me my first saddle for my horse, he just loved me, and I adored him so so much. My grandma taught me how to crochet and make quilts, and I helped her cut and measure her quilting blocks and sat and watched her sew for hours, and we would just talk and talk. Almost two years ago, my grandma passed away, and then a few months later, my grandpa passed as well. I was devastated. I lost the two most important people In my life. The two people who supported me no matter what…it didn’t matter what I did they still supported me and showed me love and compassion. They never held things over my head…if something happened, it was always a live, learn, and then forget and never bring it back up thing. When I tell you I loved these people I loved them with my whole heart…now here is my issue when they passed I never heard about coming and getting things that were special to me…no one called or texted me to tell me to come get what I wanted. All I wanted was her sewing machine and my grandpa’s church shirts to make them into a quilt. That’s legitimately all I wanted. I did did want the money or jewelry or expensive things I didn’t care about those thing. Turns out they had all the other cousins come to the house and pick things except me. One of my cousins who doesn’t do anything with sewing or crafting has her sewing machine and it’s probably just in storage collecting dust. And then they just got rid of my grandpa’s shirts…just like that like that aren’t special or sentimental. They didn’t even call me to see if I wanted anything at all. My dad said my “mom put a few things to the side”…and that’s fine to but I wasn’t included in something that had to do with the 2 most important people in my whole life. Like I never felt I was apart of the family (except when I was with my grandparents) but this just hit a whole new level of yeah you were never apart of the family and they don’t care. I’m sorry this is long and I’m probably being dramatic but I can’t stop crying and I just really needed to vent and get this out. Thanks for taking the time to read it if you made it this far.
Not dramatic . Just sad. I’ll adopt you
This is heartbreaking 
story of my life except i wasnt adopted both my parents are addicts so my grandparents raised me when my gma passed found out my whole family hated and resented me for stuff i got i was more their child then grand child so yes obviously i did . when my gpa passed not only did my own pos father and his sisters get me written out of his will on his death bed no less then when came time to sell house i grew up in and my kids for part of it i never got asked alot of that was mine all i cared about were precious photos of my kids with them etc had to find out from a family member
they were the only ones who ever made me feel loved and that i actually mattered . sorry just want you to know your not alone 
Remember they are just things. The memories you have are what it is important.
Hold the memories close. Write your story. The future will appreciate it. It’s therapeutic. 
I agree. And you have the memories no one else has
I’m so sorry. Sometimes even wonderful people turn so ugly when there’s anything to be had after a death. It happens so often. Just be glad you’re not like those awful people and got caring, wisdom, lessons and talents from your grandparents that no one can ever take away from you. 
Might also be good to talk to a counselor/therapist. Sounds like your parents and younger relatives put you through some stuff. But you survived and will thrive because you are NOT the asshole. Congrats.
I’m sorry that you weren’t included when everyone else was,you will cherish the memories you have of your grandparents in your heart forever.
I’m so sorry they did that t ok you. I would see what your mom has for you. Put that in your car and then tell her exactly how you feel and walk away. If she wants to talk to you after that let her I wouldn’t make make first move. I hope you can find peace someday.
So sorry for what you are going through Grandparents are Special they don’t judge 
Sorry for your loss. Your Grandparents are always with you because you carry them in your heart. The memories you had with them will last a lifetime, till you see them again!
I’m sorry for your loss prayers for condolence and peace for you
Very sad, even sadder it happens all the time. God save Humanity!
This is simply heartbreaking. I am so very sorry 
. What your family did was selfish and mean . I am deeply sorry for your loss . Maybe offer to buy the sewing machine ( people who are money hungry may fall for that ) . No one , however, can ever take your memories away ! Never !
I’m sorry for your loss honey. It was very thoughtless of your family to exclude you. Hold onto all the precious memories in your heart of your loving grandparents…those memories can never be taken from you.
My heart hurts for you. This happens in so many families when someone passes away unfortunately😢 It happened to my husband when his mother passed away. His siblings were left $3,000 each in her will and she left him $100.00 all because her husband was the biological father to his siblings. People are ugly!!
Sorry for ur loss, but u have something far more valuable than all the rest — ur wonderful loving memories and no one can take that from u. Get a journal and write down all those wonderful memories and u will have them to relive every time u open it!!!
Very similar situation happened to my husband. He lived with his grandparents his entire life. Then at 30 his “mother”/ grandmother passed. The very same day all his cousins came in before her body was even out the door and went through her things. Taking rings. Bracelets. Bibles. Books. Pictures. Furniture. I’m sure they would’ve taken the bed too if her poor body wasn’t still on it. He stood in the doorway sobbing and just let them pass by with all her personals. To this day he complains. He regrets not stopping them. But he was absolutely in shock and could not comprehend what was happening. I try to reassure him that he does have her. In the best ways. None of the other cousins have memories that have formed him into the beautiful person he is. None of them can make her homemade apple pies. Or gravy. None of them know the trick to a pancake like she did. None of them can recall a time they sat with her and discussed life. None of them can say Remember When Grandma Did Blah Blah Blah. They can only wear the materialistic things that to be honest that woman could careless about. She gave it all up multiple times to clothe, fed and shelter him. They meant nothing to her but they will flaunt it and place the sob story on others when ppl ask Where’d You Get That Pretty Ring? He doesn’t know and nor do you I suppose that they will live through you 100% in everything you do unbeknownst to you. Let them have it. Let them be greedy and feel like they deserve things. Their karma will come. And you will be there rich with happiness!
Maybe ask the cousin if she would sell you the sewing machine. Ask nicely and tell her you would really appreciate it.
When mine passed I was in only one photo with him and it was as a child. All the other grandkids were in tons of them. I was only allowed 2 things but others could take what they wanted. Favoritism has always been a big thing they have done since always
I’m sorry for your loss. Trust me it’ll all come out in the wash . Seen it happen more than once
Hold your head up your grand parents are probably smiling down on you as we speak. Have faith
Happens often unfortunately!
Cherish the memories.
My heart hurts for you. When you think about your grandparents always remember the sweet and special memories you have. Sorry your parents are so toxic.
It’s ok sweetie you have something more valuable than anyone BEAUTIFUL 
MEMORIES 
they can’t keep that from you GOD BLESS YOU ENJOY YOUR MEMORIES AND SMILE WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT THEM
My dad passed when I was 15, unfortunately I didn’t see my grandmother too much after that…Anyhow after I got older I always made a point to go and see her at least once a month. She always told me when she passed I could have any pictures of my Daddy that I wanted. I am still waiting for my cousins who was left to take care of legal things to let me know when I can pick up the pictures. A year later I haven’t heard anything. I finally had to let it go, lock it away, because it was causing too much hurt and pain for me. So no you are not being dramatic at all. Praying for you!!
First, they are in the wrong and your feelings are not at all dramatic, they are valid.
Second, I’d reach out to said cousin and ask if it was ok if you kept your grandmas sewing machine as she taught you to sew and you’d like to do something nice with it but tell her to take time to think about it and then get back to you. Maybe she will not feel forced and then just hand it over. Next talk to your mom and ask if there are any shirts she can give you that belonged to your grandpa. Don’t bring up hurt feelings nor how you feel about everything, until you hopefully get what you are asking for. No times or indirects. Once you have the items, then it is up to you to spill your feelings if you absolutely have to. You are on so many better levels ahead of this family and I think that they were only a side part of the bigger plan which was to get you to be a part of your grandparents family. There is no use trying to get someone to understand your point of view or waste more energy on people who clearly have limited perception of you and what it means to be a family. No response is a big response and you can choose to continue in with your life AFTER you reach out. Worse case they say no and who cares. Good riddance! They aren’t part of your future which is now.
Grief manifests itself in strange ways doesn’t it? Nothing can replace the memories, love and kindness you shared. Instead of being upset about not being included, carry forward you grandparents legacy and make others feel included and loved just like they did for you.
Im sorry and unfortunately stuff like that happens. I lost my last great grandma 2 years ago. My mom and i were supposed to get certain things. All her kids went to her house and picked the house clean. They didn’t tell me or my mom until after the fact. I had a couple quilts that she made specifically for me before she got to where she couldn’t. My mom was supposed to get her sewing machine and multiple quilts. They took it all!!
My sister took my moms things!! Will not split any photos nothing. Cut me out. Its been 8 years and i havent spoke a word to her…i never will
Reach out to your cousin who has the sewing machine. Talk and share with her about your sweet memories of learning how to sew with your grandma. Maybe she also has great memories being taught to sew too. Ask her if you could borrow it (or use it there at her house) to make a quilt of your own just like how your grandma showed you. That way, at least you’ll have a finished product that came of it. And the memories of making your own quilt with the machine that your grandma once used is far more precious and therapeutic than anything else. It’ll be a good way to mourn your loss and celebrate her beautiful loving life. Sort of like a last hooray! And who knows, maybe your cousin will realize how much it means to you and just give it to you knowing that you’ll take good care of it!
How sad that your parents excluded you, in such a cruel and thoughtless way. It speaks to some of the issues that would have caused you to distance yourself from them in the first place. Good for you, btw. The loss of your grandparents keepsakes is a done deal. You were treated unfairly, and you can’t fix it. So sorry for your loss. Try to be happy for the fond memories, and loving relationship that you had with them. Noone can take that away. May they RIP.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I can’t imagine how I’d feel. Please remember those are things, you have the most important thing from them which is memories. Nobody can ever take that away. I’d contact the cousin with the sewing machine and ask if you can have it.
This is not dramatic and I’d prob be the same way 
Cry it out girl sending you virtual hugs
You will always have the fondest memories of your grandparents
Thank you for venting your pain." This to shall pass". Your love will always remain.focus on the memories n their unconditional love for you.Godbless.
You sound bitter and angry I don’t blame you, I do understand what you are going through, but you did choose to move out of your family’s lives. Besides it could be worse, when my dad died my brother got his life insurance, all of it he was supposed to share it with my other brother and myself. He spent the entire money on scuba lessons and gear, living in an area with few places to go scuba diving and he has yet to use any of it but the scuba suit that is 5 sizes too small… that being said at the time I had no income, and was surviving in a house with the power turned off and water turned off and he would not help me out, I was in the process of getting disability. Be glad you have good memories and realize it could have been worse.
I am so very, very sorry. The way they treated you was crummy. I know it hurts.
I will share an experience I had just in case any of what helped me might help you.
My husband was always treated like an outcast by his sister and parents. They didn’t treat me much better. But for some reason I always wanted them to like me. And it hurt me so badly to see my husband hurt by them.
Then his sister had a falling out with their parents, and she called my husband, apologized to him, and said she now knew what he and I had been dealing with.
We were so happy to finally have a relationship with her. But after a while she patched things up with her parents, didn’t need her brother or me for emotional support anymore, and things went back the way they had been before, with my husband being the outcast.
Then when their grandparents died, my husband’s dad gave my husband’s sister, step sister and step brother a portion of the inheritance, but not a dime to my husband. After some more incidents I finally got to the place where I just started to see all of them as, well, really BAD people. And that helped move on.
I had spent years hoping for a relationship with them, getting my hopes up, then getting so hurt when it didn’t work out. Until I opened my eyes and saw them for what they are: petty and selfish.
I mean, I always KNEW this about them, but really didn’t internalize it. When I did, my feelings followed my new opinion of them. I came to realize, would I even want a relationship with such awful people? Much less care what they thought of me?
Honestly, anyone who could treat someone the way your family treated you? They would have to be pretty flawed. Your grandparents were good people. They were your REAL family.
These other people? They have shown you how low they are. They are not worth being hurt over. And it is THEIR loss, NOT yours.