My family thinks my boyfriend is cheating: Advice?

This is more of a rant than a question, but my spouse and I have been together almost five years; we have a 19-month-old, and I’m currently 36 weeks pregnant with our second. We had a rocky relationship at the start, but it’s grown a lot better over time. In December, we got into an argument about his spending habits, and out of anger, he spits out that he bought me an engagement ring but has since refused to give me the thing. He’s told me on two different occasions that he was going to do it, but either something happened, or he forgot. Recently I’ve been getting extremely frustrated as I feel like I’m doing everything alone, I broke my foot, and he was given time off work while I was working, helping care for our oldest and me. But our child went to daycare 99% of the time, and he was doing stuff to help friends out. It’s the same thing now, but it’s actually gotten to the point where my family has asked if it’s possible that he’s cheating on me with one of the spouses as he’s never around to help me but always around to help her. Over the last two weekends, he’s spent at least 48 hrs at their house and has blown me off, and left me without a vehicle for the day because his priorities aren’t sorted, and he’d rather help them then fix his vehicle (which the parts have been sitting in our house). I don’t feel like he’s cheating, but I’m definitely getting discouraged and exhausted with doing everything

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Speculating will drive you crazy…sit him down and talk to him. If things still dont change then I wouldn’t tolerate it. You deserve better than that and he should be helping more with his kids and wanting to be around for them in my opinion

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Im sorry but no man would help someone out that much over getting his car on the road if he ain’t getting something out of it… do u know for sure thats where he is???

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Hmmm? Not very considerate of you or your feelings. Ring? Doubt he has one. You are going to be one busy Mama with 2 children and he doesn’t help you. What are the pros and cons of staying with him?? You are doing everything alone as it is. He doesn’t sound like marriage material to me. Good Luck!!

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Cheating or not he sounds like a douche bag!

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Ok how do you forget to ask your girl to marry you?? Time for a talk and to sit some boundaries!!! Have them come to your house. Your far along and may need him there!!! I would hold off on marriage till you feel it and see a change in him

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Sounds like a mega douche! There is no ring sis.

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Girl, save yourself.

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He sounds very selfish and doesn’t sound like a partner or anyone you can build a good future with

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you love it, you love how hes treating you, leaving you with no car all day, doesn’t help out, rather be with his mates bla bla bla
Do wanna know why I say this…?
Cos your still there :joy::rofl:
And your still be there this time next year and the year after that putting up with his shit so my advice to you is this…
Stop moaning :laughing:

My partner wouldn’t give me any money I would go out with the kids the card would decline I was patient but wondering where all the money was … then he bought me a car … just can’t be jumping to conclusions

My ex was just like this. Would drop everything to help a friend, neighbor or family and would do nothing for myself or our children (except when others were around, he would then put on a great show, father and partner of the year right then and there, but when backs were turned, notta)i stayed with him for almost 16 years and family and friends were none the wiser… best decision was to leave. My now 15 year old(she was 11 when we split) tells me I should have left him sooner. My advice is family first. If you don’t treat the family under your own roof as #1 priority than that is not a relationship worth being in.

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Definitely NO ring. He just wanted to throw something in ur face.

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No one forgets to propose. If he’s not asking you because your arguments is he going to forget he’s married also next time you don’t agree on something. If he’s not helping you now with the one kid and your foot is broke what do you think will happen with two once you’ve healed. Have you told him how you feel you can’t expect something out of someone who has no idea how you feel about a situation. Tell him and if it doesn’t change you know the answer sometimes we can do bad by ourselves.

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Trust your family. They want what’s best for you. You have to want what’s best for yourself though and leave this situation.

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He’s helping her when she has a husband? Yeah, I’m with your family on this one.

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Ever thought he could be on drugs?

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  1. Sounds like he never had a ring in to begin with.
  2. There’s no way I wouldn’t have someone pick me up and go over there and ask her and him. As a matter of fact I wouldn’t let him take the car at all! I’d DRIVE HIM MYSELF!
  3. The parts he’s putting on her car are in your house and you’re not concerned?
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I think you just answered your own question. Your child is in daycare 99 percent of the time but helps another girl.

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Cheating or not, he’s not making you priority and that is not ok. You need a partner that you can rely on.

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Get rid of this loser

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If it’s gotten better, I’d hate to see it when it was bad. Like who ‘forgets’ to propose?! No one. No one does. He said that about the ring to keep you on the hook. He’s playing games and sounds like a selfish child. I think you know what you have to do. Doesn’t matter if he’s cheating or not, he’s a crap boyfriend and you deserve better.

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He’s stringing you along. As long as you let him, he will continue to do so. Cut him lose.

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if you were something of value in his belief system, that ring, that marriage, would have happened when You wanted it. Move on

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:broken_heart:How heartbreaking for you, but he has shown you time and again who he is. You are not now, maybe ever a priority. Make a plan, set up court appointed child support and stop walking on eggshells.Sorry whatever he’s up to it’s super disrespectful to the mother of his kids.:running_woman::running_woman::running_woman:

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Just say “look, you obviously don’t want to be with me so what are we doing” if he says bs, say “well, you certainly don’t act like you do. You’re barely ever home and your family comes after everyone else, if at all. We love you, you, however, don’t seem to give a sht about us.” And go from there. 🤷

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He’s either cheating or doesn’t want to spend the time with you and wants to obviously spend it with someone else!

#PRIORITIES

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He might not be cheating but he is definitely putting them over you, I would be telling him to get his priorities right or GO!

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So many girls get hung up on “the ring” that may or may not exist. He sounds like an selfish jerk but if you are willing to put up with that for a ring …that is your choice…but sounds like you are already alone…even though he is still there.

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If he ever does remember to propose, say no.

He’s a loser.

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Leave NOW, before the kids know better!!

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Nobody “forgets” to propose. Just leave him.

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Love someone in such a way that they feel free, and they will SHOW you where they prefer to be.

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No one forgets to propose. No one, and I mean NO ONE, spends that kind of money and just “forgets” to do something with it.

If he’s not cheating, he’s still a liar.

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No one, and I mean NO ONE just “forgets” to propose. Stop putting up with the man-child’s bullshit. He isn’t interested in ACTUALLY being in a relationship. Don’t waste any more time on him.

Is that car he’s driving in your name? Buy a magnetic GPS on Amazon and track him. Don’t sit around worrying and guessing. Know for yourself where he is going.

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He sounds immature. And it does sound like it to me.

I would have been long gone awhile ago. Being a single parent is easier then dealing with that kinda immature drama. Start saving up money anyway you can and get out ASAP!

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I feel tempted to connect but Ib can’t do that effectively only having your view point. I am incredibly empathetic to your exhaustion and the “fedup” part I can definitely understand that. I am hesitant because I have been with my partner for 10 years (not married not engaged) it works for us - I doubt think a ring or piece of paper would ect either of our views of our love for each other. I will be praying for your clarity and peace of mind! I really hope uppit can have the hard conversations and settle your anxiety and frustrations.

Dump the dude. You don’t need tg

He doesn’t really want this plain and simple…if you have to wonder where you stand with someone it’s already over…and I’m sorry this may sound harsh but you said “things were rocky in the beginning” but got better over time…is that rhetoric for we should have broke up but I got pregnant to save the relationship now it’s back firing? I truly wish women were more realistic and more honest with themselves…he may not be cheating but he isn’t into his family because chances are he didn’t want one in the first place and this man does not want to marry you! A man knows what and who he wants and will do everything in his power to keep it…do not convince yourself otherwise

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“It’s grown a lot better” and this is how he’s treating you? Yikes.

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Hes using the ring as an excuse, and he clearly needs to get his priorities straight because he’s choosing others over his family. He might not be cheating but he does sound suspicious and is giving his time else where. This doesn’t sound better, and you’re on baby number 2 and he’s still acting this way. Also where did the money go if there isn’t a ring? Cause I highly doubt he even bought one

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If you have told him your concerns and he doesn’t care he’s not going to change. It doesn’t matter if he’s cheating or not he’s not putting you or your family first. You are the only one who can decide when you are at your limit. You can try counseling but at his heart if he’s not seeing value in spending time with you and essentially acts like he’s a single guy
You are doing this alone and you can have 5 kids and it’s not going to make any difference. You are going to have to be the person who makes the choices and changes because he’s not going to. He isn’t motivated to move forward if he did you’d have a ring and be planning a wedding. Think about what that would be like knowing what he’s like now. Good luck.

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He keeps you there so he doesn’t have to pay support.

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Don’t allow yourself to be treated less then you deserve… self worth you deserve better

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Cheating aside. You deserve to be treated better x

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How sad for the child!

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You need to put you and your children first he needs a rude awakening

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Hell no don’t put up with that tell him do you want to know what’s going on

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That’s just disrespecting you and your children

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Not sure why you would want a proposal from someone like that. Clearly you and the kids are not priorities to him.

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He “forgot” to propose?

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He sounds like his selfish male and probably never going to change but u do need to talk to him and tell him how u feel hope it all works out for u

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Sounds like manipulation at it’s finest…

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Or maybe he just wants to be away from you? Cheating doesnt necessarily have to be the issue.

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Definitely cheating!!

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Keep family at a distance during arguments if you plan to keep going back to the same loser… he at the very least doesnt have his priorities straight…might be a ho also…thats for you to figure out

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Ask him what he wants bee honest or you will forever be second priority

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Novel Idea: Sit down and talk like adults…

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It sounds pretty bad…

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Doesn’t matter what he is doing. Of he truly wanted to marry you… no man would “Forget” which means anything after, is irrelevant. Don’t invest time with someone who isn’t invested with you.

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Isinit supposed to be we or us?

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That sounds like he’s cheating :100:

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Have you asked the other spouses husband if he helps them??? Thats a good place to start

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Nah he is jus’ tired of all the drama that popped up so he goes where he likes the atmosphere. Be happy again, he misses that.

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Talk to him using I statements. I feel exhausted, can you please help me with ___ etc.

He forgot to ask you to marry him? Wtf? That man does not have a ring.

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Don’t get family involved if you want them to still like him after y’all are done fighting.

Maybe not cheating butttt definitely not putting his family first which is not okay.

I would be putting my foot down or kicking him to the curb. Good luck!

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Well whatever he is actually doing, he is not making you a priority.
Also if he had an engagement ring he wouldn’t be making a game out of it. I think he is just using that to keep you hanging on.

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He’s making his choice, day after day, and unfortunately it’s not you.

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I’m sorry but he sounds like a cheater or someone who’s getting into drugs.

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I don’t know if he’s cheating, but he IS an asshole. 100%. You deserve someone to give you the world and nothing less. You’re clearly not a priority to him. Don’t let this man child keep you from finding your husband :clap:t2:

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It sounds as if he’s really not committed to you. If he was then he would’ve asked you to marry him as soon as he bought the ring. Just because you have children together doesn’t mean he thinks you’re the one. I’m just being honest though because I wish people would’ve been honest with me. I would sit him down and have a real conversation about where he sees your relationship going. You can tell by his body language if he really wants to be with you or not. It sounds as if he is not interested in being with you honestly.

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I’d start asking his mates for help to fix your stuff because hubby doesn’t have time. I had to do that because my husband was so busy helping others and I’m very independent so if I could do it I did.
At first hubby was mad i had embrassed him. When I pointed out I was just asking for help, him and his friends realised that it really does need to be returning favours sometimes.
Some women will also “need” someone to do.things for them so it could just be he feels “sorry/useful”

Even if he’s not cheating, he’s not being a good partner.

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No matter how mad a person gets if they love you they would not throw in your face how you stop him from giving you a engagement ring. You need to sit down and put everything on the table.

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I dont think hes cheating I just think hes emotionally checked out. Could be a number of things. Cheating, drugs, emotionally checked out ect… hes clearly unhappy tho and you need an open honest conversation.

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If he won’t marry you or propose why are you on baby #2 ? I suggest you have a come to Jesus meeting and be honest about how you feel

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Cheating or drugs? Is that a possibility? 48 hours is a very long time over a weekend…it’s the whole damn weekend! He doesn’t make time for his kid that’s here already neither? Not ok! I’d sit him down and talk to him. I don’t think he has a ring, men don’t forget to propose if they want to. When my fiancee got mine,it was the first thing he did. He was so excited when he found it he told me before he even bought it. He isn’t choosing you first and that wouldn’t be ok to me. Mine doesn’t go help friends, if he did he would ask me to go! I might not want to, but that option would always be there. Tell him you want to go!

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Get your car back, pack it up, and move on. It won’t get better…

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He’s hiding something. And gaslighting you about a ring. He’s fuckin up. If he won’t sit and have a transparent convo with you, find a way to get out man. Fuck living like that.

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Sounds like Rocky horror all over again, why do people put up with this? Is being in a relationship that important? Please enlighten me

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Emotional cheating is still cheating

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He is telling you without actually talking to you that you and your kids are not his priority. If you want to stay with him that’s up to you but without talking and you guys trying to work on it, I doubt it will change though.

(I would say he has definitely checked out of the relationship though. Good luck but don’t put you and your kids at the bottom just to stay with him)

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Run sista be someone else’s queen, been there done that and i was much happier when I moved on. His reasons are irrelevant, the behavior says enough

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Yeah. He didn’t buy you a ring.

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My husband would NEVER be around another woman by himself. & that isn’t because of me. That’s my husbands RESPECT for me. The fact his pregnant injured wife is at home struggling and he is helping some other woman?

Hell no. Hell no. Hell no.

Sit his immature ass down & have a serious adult talk.

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I can’t judge if he’s cheating you know him better than any of us BUT he is a dick and I’m pretty sure he lied about the ring considering how he acts about it. I’d just keep family out of things if they bring it up just ignore them. Maybe talk to him and ask wtf is going on?

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It’s a terrible relationship regardless. He sounds like he’s selfish and immature and it would be nearly impossible to have a quality relationship with someone like that.

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I’d dead this relationship strictly based on how he treats you. He’s not a partner.

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idk if he’s cheating but he’s a terrible partner

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Even if he’s not cheating he not showing you or the kids you come first. And that alone can ruin a relationship also.

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I’m so sorry. He did not buy you a ring.
He’s lying and he has checked out. I’m so very sorry. You and your kids should be first. Make yourself a priority

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I feel like if you reread this to yourself you would know what to do. I get you love him but it’s not worth it if you’re doing everything alone. You might as well be single. He’s down you where his priorities lie. You let him do this to you time and time again. Know your worth and get out before he causes more devastation

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Dead end relationship you’ll always feel lesser in. Hard move but pack it up and bounce with the kid.

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It sounds like my ex…

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He didn’t buy a ring. He’s using that to string you along.

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How do you forget to propose? Lmfao like what? That literally makes no sense :rofl::rofl::rofl:

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I confronted an old partner about spending habits once and got the “I’ve been pulling money out to buy you a ring” story too. 8 months and a baby later, there was no ring – only a drug addicted partner that was a pathological liar. He couldn’t beat the addiction (or didn’t want to) and I cut ties. I truly hope this isn’t the same case for you, but reading your story gave me chills it was so similar to mine :pensive:.

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