Well thc and cbd can be a mood stabilizer is a very, very mild mood stabilizer but if the heart of the issue is not being addressed then it’s just a blanket over the problems. I’m not one for ultimatums but in this case I’d give him a choice, get the help he needs or get the fuck out. In my experience anger issues only escalate they never just plateau
2 Likes
Sounds like he has a drug problem and should quit entirely. And I wouldn’t be marrying a POS like that, immature and disrespectful. Wants to buy drugs before paying bills? Nope.
Drugs point blank period, nope
3 Likes
He’s a child. Weed isn’t the problem. He is.
7 Likes
Could be medical related. Maybe he should go talk with a therapist or something and figure out if he needs to be on meds or something. If its not that then he just needs to grow up. Not smoking is not a reason to act that way. And that’s also a red flag for me tbh. If he’s not willing to work on his shit then I would wait to marry him. If he’s not going to change, and if that’s something you don’t wanna deal with forever; divorces can be expensive.
4 Likes
Weed is so strong nowadays that the body actually does develop a dependency. It’s not bad like harder drugs but it is like a cigarette addiction. If you’ve ever been around someone who is quitting smoking, the symptoms are very similar. I’m not saying it should be tolerated but if you wanted to put some logic or reason to his behavior. This might help.
1 Like
Can’t be the ‘best man’ if he speaks to you like shit when he can’t smoke.
12 Likes
You can not help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. And married in SEPTEMBER?? NO MA’AM. Do. Not. Even think of going through with marriage with this man unless and until the situation improves greatly. No, for your own good/piece of mind, you should 1.take a step back/break from the relationship. 2 I urge you to consider counseling. (IF HE WONT GO/PARTICIPATE as a couple…please consider it for yourself. You are not responsible for his anger towards you. Thats on him. And its his job to figure it out. BUT…IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU XOULD WORK ON YOURSELF AS WELL.
6 Likes
Don’t marry him until it is resolved. My hubs smokes on a daily basis but how he treats me (great) never changes
3 Likes
Trust me on this…everything you don’t like prior to marriage amplifies soooooo many times after marriage. Not in a good way. Weigh it out. Is it worth it?
4 Likes
My ex husband was the same way. We are divorced now. Have you thought about having his sugar levels checked? I use to think my kid was a grouchy ass for no reason and come to find out it was his blood sugar levels were off making him irritable.
I smoke weed for my anxiety and my migraines. I see it as a medicine. If I don’t have it, my body will in fact ache more than it already does and I will become so grouchy. Just let the guy smoke some, better than a beer imo.
3 Likes
Maybe he can seek medication for mental health help that could be covered by insurance if having funds for weed is getting tough.
Weed dependence is one of the many reasons me and my ex split… I called them pot fits. He would be horrible when he was coming off of it and spend recklessly to get it again. Leave. Just leave and save yourself the grief
6 Likes
This was my moms bf, and then I put his ass in place and snapped for a good 20min, idc if you’re outta weed you will not treat my mom or my siblings any kind of way they shouldn’t be, don’t even dare you that excuse with me ‘I’m outta weed’ cause it don’t sit with me after that time it was all good and he sure didn’t use that bs excuse again🤷🏼♀️. I don’t play about my siblings and momma .
2 Likes
Sounds like he is stressed out or has depression. And when he doesn’t smoke his mood changes. He may need to see a dr about his mental health.
3 Likes
Its normal to act like that when you havent smoked. He is havimg withdrawals from not smoking and he is going to be a asshole. Give him space.
Why someone laughed at this is beyond me
1 Like
Weed withdrawal makes you grumpy and nauseous or he could have anxiety thats calmed with the bud then is uncontrolled when he doesn’t have any 
5 Likes
Nothing wrong with smoking, great for calming the anxiety. Put it in the budget & ration it.
4 Likes
Yeah if he treats you this way and you’ve given him over a year to change he clearly isn’t the best man. I’d seriously talk with him, tell him it changes and he treats you with the love & respect you deserve or you’re not gonna stick around. Why marry someone like that?! It’s better to be single than mistreated.
7 Likes
He needs to stop using weed as an excuse for a shit attitude! You can’t marry a man who carries on like a child when he can’t have what he wants. It’s completely controllable and no need for it. Man needs to grow TF up!
12 Likes
Wow how is this a question. He can’t treat you right unless he smokes ? You’re supposed to just let him be high for the rest of your lives so he won’t be an ass to you? That’s not life or a relationship.
5 Likes
Ima stoner and ima be honest
No weed means I got an attitude
It helps with pain and anxiety
Over thinking and anger.
The pot helps with all that and if hes got an attitude like he doesn’t have when he puffs its cuz the attitude is taken care of with the pot.
Let the man smoke his pot.
Put that in your budget. Just like you would aspirin or tylanol
4 Likes
It sounds like an excuse to be an ass. If you have addressed the issue, he agreed to work on it and hasn’t, it will not get better. More than likely it will get worse after marriage.
5 Likes
It’s not YOUR job to help him with HIS anger - it’s HIS job.
He needs to get his shit together and stop being a douche bag.
9 Likes
He sounds emotionally unstable. I’d get out.
10 Likes
“We will work on his anger”-that’s a big, red flag. Women need partners, not projects. If it is mental issues,-same. You’re not a professional therapist nor should you be trying to fix him.
16 Likes
Resentment, because he doesn’t want to stop?
3 Likes
He sounds like he has anxiety or even depression and smoking is probably the only cure for him. It sucks that people can’t just get prescribed it for free like other meds, but you guys will just have to add it as part of your budget. Because at this point it’s a necessity. It’s medicine for his mental health. Imagine taking away someone’s meds who’s psychotic. It’s going to affect every single part of there mind and body immediately in the most negative ways. Yes it sucks and it hurts you the way he acts but he’s most likely hurting A LOT on the inside and that’s why this is happening. Anyone on here saying to cancel the wedding or leave him obviously doesn’t know or care about genuine mental health problems. I know you said it’s been a year already but the road to recovery is a LONG one. Yes he needs to do things to figure out how to not take it out on you either. I’m the exact same way as him but I actively try hard every single day not to take it out on my significant other. I’ll be moodier than shit but as soon as he says one word to me I try my best to just smile at him and love him. But that took a long time for me to even get to that point. I’m talking YEARS. You guys both have some effort to put in and I can guarantee your marriage will end up beautiful. You need him to not take it out on you, and I think he needs you to understand how important his medicine is. I see it from both sides.
7 Likes
I am appalled at the number of responses saying “this is normal, just let him smoke more” OR justifying his actions by saying they are due to mental health. I was abused by my ex husband and he blamed his horrific treatment of me on his mental health issues. I finally came to realize that is NEVER a valid excuse or reason for someone to treat another human badly. My advice? Don’t marry him until he can control his emotions / deal with them appropriately (and until he is no longer dependent on smoking to not be an asshole human). It will only get worse.
22 Likes
I used to be the same way. I smoked for yearsss but quit over five years ago. Coming off I was so grouchy for three days straight. I spent that time alone so I wouldn’t lash out. After that, couple more days to get appetite back, then I was free. Advice is your spouse has to chose to get off it. I did for my heath/anxiety maybe he can do it for his baby and fiancé. It’s been better without, save bunch of money.
2 Likes
a lot of people use marijuana to self-medicate (often without even knowing it). to me it sounds like he has a mood disorder and weed is treating the symptoms. you should talk to him about this possibility.
1 Like
Have him grow his own plant to keep him occupied then he can smoke for free. My mom would be a crazy b without it when I was growing up so I was always happier when she had some.
If you’re unsure now, you’ll be unsure after you get married too. Walk away. I know it’s easier said than done. You shouldn’t have to work on his anger issues. He does.
2 Likes
I thought I “needed” it 24/7, I use to smoke green (for 15+ years) and my bf hated my attitude and the depression it gave me and he almost left. I realized I need to change or I’m going to loose out on the best guy I’ve ever met. I’ve been clean for over 2 years now and we get along 99% better and I am 100% more healthier mentally… I live near 20+ green stores and I’m not even tempted anymore…
4 Likes
Read this and pretend it’s your daughter telling you this. What advice would you give her? Do not marry this man. If he has to take drugs to be nice to you he is not a nice person. If he chooses weed over obligations do not marry this man. Get away from this. Demand better.
13 Likes
Sounds like you are dealing with what I am. It’s been years later and still the same issues, it doesn’t seem to get better. You can only help those that are willing to take it.
1 Like
Honestly yes he should control his attitude when he doesn’t smoke but also I do see where he comes from. Normally if I don’t I do get an attitude and want to be left alone. With me it’s because I have issues stabilizing my moods on my own. As a child my brain didn’t made the right connections for it so I have to learn it as an adult. I’ve taken mood stabilizers but they never helped and then I started smoking weed and it does boost my mood and keeps me from acting up but when I don’t smoke I’m constantly having to remind myself that I’m learning a skill I should have as a child. Maybe he didn’t make the connections as a child and now became dependent. I would honestly recommend counseling but still allow him to smoke occasionally.
2 Likes
I’d like to know if you find a reason for his behavior because I have a close relative whose husband does the same exact thing.
and also the mentality that he “shouldn’t need it” that i keep seeing is really problematic. like it’d be great if he could find a legal, prescribed option. but like??? i need my meds to not snap on my partner and to do my daily tasks without freaking out cause i have adhd and i’ll get sensory overload and lose my shit. it’s not because i’m abusive, it’s because my brain is fucked up. i don’t think it’s fair to assume that this guy is just a dick.
4 Likes
Run. Run away. Not your job.
3 Likes
I 
% understand you. My husband father of my 3 kids is the same exact way!! We have been married for 24 years. But 4 years ago I finally had to ask him to leave. I couldn’t put up i it anymore. The kids also notice the difference. I finally had to put my sanity and peace first and of course of my kids also. My kids and I are happy living alone for the past 4 years. It’s been hard but we made it work. He said many many times he would change and stop smoking but it would only last for a bit. Unless he gets professional help it could be hard for him to change or to stop. It’s a disease. Good luck 
You already know this answer…truth is… you don’t like the answer.
He won’t change.
Think how hard it is to change ourselves…it is NOT POSSIBLE to change someone else.
Go find someone you can accept for how they are.
People do what they really want to do.
9 Likes
Sweetheart. This is not the man you are meant to marry. If he hurts you before marriage it will only get worse afterwards. When people show you their true colors believe them. If he is only nice when he’s high then he’s not the one for you. He should seek therapy.
18 Likes
Sounds like he has an addiction problem and he needs help
4 Likes
Buy an ounce make baggies and make him pay for it:smiley:…win - win… pay bills and he’s happy…
8 Likes
Thats how my baby daddy is. We have a daughter. Even if its normal for some, doesn’t mean its healthy. This is still a form of abuse and extremely toxic to you, him, your child, and your family as a whole. It took 4 years of it before he got so irate that he had to be taken to the psych ward by the cops and is no longer allowed around us until he finishes help. To the point that he had to go to California (im in oklahoma) for the time being. Be safe. Stand your ground. And remember that by accepting this type of love, you are ultimately disrespecting yourself. Your son is watching. Its important to budget it in as a medication. But its not acceptable to mentally or emotional abuse your significant other without it. No exceptions.
2 Likes
Sounds like he has bipolar or some other mood disorder and the marijuana is self medicating. He should talk to his doctor about it. Or grow his own. It’s not fair just to assume anything though.
3 Likes
Don’t get married until the issue is fixed. That will be the biggest mistake of your life , to get married with those problems…
7 Likes
While I agree with what alot off ppl have said here about it possibly being a self-medicating thing. And especially if he suffers from anxiety, u may just want to accept his choice of medicine and maybe have him seek therapy. Another thing most ppl don’t want to admit is… Marijuana is addictive. And while not like “hard drugs” with serious physical withdrawals, there are some pretty strong psychological withdrawal symptoms that include anxiety, depression, and irritability. (Which makes it hard to differentiate between needing the medicine for better mental health… or stopping the drug for better mental health ).
4 Likes
Dude run… That’s a major scary red flag. If he can’t treat you with respect, leave. Absolutely do not marry this man, it will only get worse.
6 Likes
I wouldn’t want to marry someone who was mean to me & I wouldn’t want my child growing up seeing his father being mean to me. Children learn what they see.
5 Likes
Have you thought about trying CBD if you don’t want him to smoke? Though there is a reason for medical marijuana and some people really do need it for the benefits it can provide.
2 Likes
It won’t change, leave
4 Likes
People that smoke a ton of weed are moody AF. I’m sorry but it’s very true.
13 Likes
I see a lot of you telling her to run and I get it… but this was me not too long ago. I’ve been depressed and full of anxiety and I was already smoking for pain management. Then I started smoking more because that was the only time I felt okay. Then I noticed when I didn’t smoke there was a huge attitude change in myself. When I recognized it, I quit smoking when I felt like I needed to due to being overwhelmed or bad thoughts etc. I’ve had to adjust when and how much I smoke and then after that your attitude is on yourself. I’m trying to get into therapy and I recommend somehow getting him to do the same. Whether it’s individual or couples. Smoking is fine, but there has to be control and limits. I believe this is something you can work through and if he isn’t willing to meet you halfway at least then I’d see how he reacts to taking a break. Good luck!
4 Likes
It’s called dependanace and when you don’t have that it’s like not having a ciggerette or coffee for other people who don’t smoke. I’m the same way. I don’t mean to come off as mean. I don’t want to be that way but when I don’t smoke I have anxiety. What’s wrong with smoking as long as it keeps him calm? Maybe he needs medication? I don’t think you should run. Every single person in this world has bullshit that comes with them. You just gotta find the bullshit or person that you can deal with. Nobody is perfect. Everyone is dependant on something that keeps them happy or content. Ppl judge too much right off the bat.
6 Likes
Red Flags 
absolutely every where
6 Likes
You’re gonna marry that?! 
3 Likes
Marrying him won’t make it better. You might want to rethink this.
7 Likes
I almost wonder if he’s self medicating and there’s some other psychological condition underlying the problem.
9 Likes
Here’s the thing: he’s rude to you. He’s mean to you. Do you want that? You deserve so much better. Lack of weed is an excuse for being mean… It’s immature, it’s mean spirited, and it’s not love.
6 Likes
Everyone saying leave has no concept of anxiety.
5 Likes
Sounds to me like he has an addiction to the bud and needs to seek help before it ruins your relationship. I wouldn’t marry him until he seeks treatment.
7 Likes
By you saying "he’s the best man " you’re in denial.
You need to get out now.
He won’t change, you can’t change him, and you will be making a huge mistake if you marry him.
He’s married to his addiction.
Sounds like he’s got some mental health issues that he needs to seek help for.
Again you can’t make him.
If he chooses weed over bills, then you’re just enabling him.
You need to have respect for yourself and get out.
5 Likes
Tell him to go smoke a joint
9 Likes
It does change peoples moods and personality.best reason for quitting I know of
2 Likes
You teach people how to treat you.
1 Like
As a person with extreme anxiety and depression, the only time I feel calm and myself is when I smoke. I don’t smoke all day everyday but if I feel overwhelmed or stressed then I go hit it a few times and I’m good otherwise I turn into one cranky irritated bitch. So maybe his smoking helps him in ways you don’t see or understand?? I’ve currently had to stop since still not legal in my state anda lot of shit hitting the fan and my family is the same way asking why I’m so on edge and cranky all the time… Cut some slack is my advice. It truly does have it’s benefits
4 Likes
Maybe he needs medication and he is self medicating. Maybe you aren’t a victim here? 
Its sad that cannabis can’t be available for everyone that needs it and that such a stigma is still attached to it.
11 Likes
Leave and don’t look back
2 Likes
Make sure he always has bud then lol
2 Likes
I’d recommend encouraging him to see a doctor or psychiatrist. It sounds like he may be self medicating for a mental health issue, which likely means that when he stops smoking he is experiencing issues with managing his mental health and may be too caught up in his own experiences to consider how this is impacting you.
For the well-being of him. you and your child, please arrange to see a professional
2 Likes
I don’t understand why there are gaps where he doesn’t have it. Has he been prescribed or does he just auto-medicate?
Okay honestly my fiancé is the same way. He smoked both recreationally and for medical purposes.
At first it bothered me that he would be cranky and short with me when he wasn’t smoking. But I realized I needed to talk to him about it and how it made me feel. After we talked about it he said he would try and do better, and then I realized that it’s really just a mood stabilizer for him, he also has really bad anxiety, stress, and PTSD. So it’s like when a person on medication stops taking medication.
He wasn’t intentionally trying to take it out on me but that’s just how it felt. Now im more understanding and he tries his best to do better when he can’t smoke.
We have a budget every month and I always leave him some money to go to the dispo.
Also everyone has their vices and takes their problems out on someone in a different way. But theirs a line between being cranky, and being with someone who is abusive. Also if he puts it above everything else like family and making sure all other needs are met then that’s a problem. But if he’s willing to stop smoking when he needs too then he’s doing his best!
4 Likes
The thing that stuck out most was you said yall “we” would work on his actions…girl you are not his mom…he has to want to work on changing…
7 Likes
You’ve just admitted he only likes you when he’s under the influence. Would you marry a drunk or coke addict under the same circumstances?
Stop making excuses for him.
13 Likes
He resents u full stop.
This is why I won’t be with a non weed smoker, they don’t “get it”.
I smoke every evening just like some ppl drink every nite, its my down time 100%
2 Likes
You aren’t being too sensitive. Your fiancé is addicted to weed. Every weed head I know that stop smoking get really cranky. So what you really need to decide is do you want that in your life. Marriage should never be on the table with a man that is rude to you. Period. No matter what he going through.
3 Likes
I am going through this now, been a smoker for apx 20 years. I have to quit. It takes time for your body to bounce back, and even longer to re learn how to control those emotions.( your brain literally has to “rewire” certain things.)
Either quit, or smoke every day. Either option sucks at this point I’m my eyes.
So the only time he is nice to use when he’s high so he has to be high all the time then? I wouldn’t put up with it because that’s your whole life ahead of you like that… nah
5 Likes
Also, a lot of these people are very uneducated on what long term marijuana use does to your brain. He’s not broken/depressed/hopeless/resents you/much more negative things people have said.
His brain literally doesn’t have any other coping mechanism at the moment. He needs to stop smoking and re teach his self how to control those things.
There are some amazing new studies out on long term pot smoking on your body and brain. I strongly suggest looking into some before you listen to all of these “Facebook doctors”. Science has come a long way in understanding these things.
7 Likes
Get him into some kind of counselling for it, and if his problem isn’t getting sorted, as hard as it will be to do, walk away
1 Like
We get married in September… Hell no.
1 Like
Either he has untreated mental health issues or he is just not going to change because that’s how he is. But HE needs to change himself. Not you. Not you “helping” he needs to own it and change it. Otherwise it falls on you Not “helping”
He needs therapy. Or to quit weed. Or to adjust his attitude. But don’t move forward with him unless he actually smarten up
1 Like
Withdrawals can be really bad and make you feel horrible and you will lash out at everyone until you get it again. Whether he is self medicating or not there is no excuse to treat you like crap. You are only enabling his behavior by letting it continue. Straight up facts here…either you stay and continue to allow the behaviors and mistreatment or you leave. He will not stop or get help no matter what you say or do its pretty apparent and you cannot change someone who does not want to change. You are literally wasting your life. Pot is like any other drug it will eventually not be strong enough and the chances of trying other drugs are high risk. If he does not want help threw mental health services and get on a positive track you haven’t seen the worst yet. Its hard to let go of someone you love but its even harder to learn to love yourself first once you lose that.
So what’s wrong with smoking bud? I do for my anxiety/depression issues, he’s probably depressed and was self medicating try talking about it rather than having a go at him & making him feel even worse!!
4 Likes
Sounds like a real “winner” (hence sarcasm).I would leave and not look back.Your child doesnt need to see you being treated poorly like that and also you dont deserve that!.
2 Likes
Only advice I have is let him smoke. My husband smokes he’s much more relaxed,better mood,helps with pain (he’s 53 and an electrician takes a toll on his body)better mental health so many benefits… I say smoke away.
3 Likes
If he uses for medical purposes then he really needs to get some edibles in there to have the effortlast longer, and NEEDS slow down. Sounds like he might be bipolar, if not then he is over medicating and get the wrong cultivar.
2 Likes
Idk why this popped up on my newsfeed but you guys are all ridiculous. So the guy smokes bud to deal with the stresses of life? Most doctors would prescribed you to narcotics for anxiety or depression or whatever they come up with. Pot is a great and natural remedy and to hate on it, to call it an “addiction” is just ignorant. You or whoever it is, is making him live a way he doesn’t want to, he shouldn’t be forced to. So if you like him better when he smokes then get to twisting! Otherwise he deserves better than someone who would make him change
8 Likes
If you’re already thinking about calling it off… call it off.
2 Likes
the solution seems pretty simple here; let the man smoke.
3 Likes
Is he trying to quit? If so, support him and encourage him while he goes thru withdrawals. For someone addicted, it is hard making the transition. For my husband, he was so moody, but his mood evened out in time. Try nicotine patches and see if helps his mood . . . . .
Pack the bags & go…eventually it will get even worse. Whether he calls you names or no…it’s absolutely mental abuse. And your son will learn to speak & treat women the same way. If not for yourself…then take your son & get out for his sake!!! Been there & done that & I had 2 children to consider.
You deserve sooooo much better than that. I’d call off the wedding until things change for the better or I’d leave him. Bugger spending a life with someone who has to be high all the time to be a decent person to you. Plus I’d hate to think how your wedding day and photos would be like with him having to be high just to have a good wedding day.
2 Likes
Make him some edibles they will help yes it’s a different high but when I quit I had the same withdrawal issues
Omg all of you saying divorce straight away 
over withdrawals of something she lets him n has no issue with him smoking? Why tell her to divorce??? She allowed that and this is the behaviour that came with it she’s asking for advice not quick fixes that will effect her whole life and end her entire relationship . Sorry but grumpy ness is what Withdrawals from weed do- irritable and probs has little patience. He’s grumpy because he needs to smoke so either you ask him to get a grip of his attitude because he is a grown man or in the nicest way possible jus get on with it bc he will always get withdrawals if he is doing a drug
but it’s one a them, that’s how it is . the attitude tho- he doesn’t have to be rude to you, ever, so just make it firm you are NOT someone to be snapped at and tell him all it is is his attitude n to either take that somewhere else n come back when he’s gonna talk to you properly and to grow up with his sulking or go deal with somebody else bc no one on this earth was born a hormonal punch bag including you
4 Likes
It doesn’t get better.
It’s probably because he smokes it for his anxiety and without it he stays irritated and anxious
4 Likes