He need to learn how to be productive with out or find a way to make sure he has money for it. But it’s not ok for him to be mean to you.
Just playing devil’s advocate here, I’ve smoked for over 10 years and I have my medical marijuana card. Cannabis treats many of my chronic conditions including anxiety. If anyone told me to stop, especially cold turkey, I’d definitely become irritable. Marijuana is starting to become more accepted as a medication these days, as opposed to a drug, so it’s possible it’s helping control his anxiety, or pain, or helping him get good sleep at night, or helping him to eat sufficient meals. Taking it away all of asudden without letting him know when he can even have it back is bound to cause some irritability.
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Smoke in moderation if he really needs it…don’t allow him to treat you like that bottom line.
So let him smoke🤷🏾♀️ nothing wrong w it lol
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Anxiety. Ptsd. Bipolar. It can be anything related to emotional or mental issues. Let him smoke. And just let him know how he is and how it hurts you. Remind him because he will change.
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He doesn’t sound like the best man to me
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It really is an issue. I was in the same position years ago and I felt completely nuts for feeling the way I felt because “it was just maijuana” lol but it DOES effect your mood. My Husband also has always been such a good person aside from that too. The BEST dad, the hardest worker, just an all around wonderful provider. He never called me names or really even said hurtful things it was just of he wasn’t smoking back then he was seriously just a miserable cunt & that hurt and made me feel like he just could not stand me without being high 
. His most annoying trait while not high was the silent treatment for no reason which we all know can be a pretty toxic trait! Then he was just short, uninterested and had zero personality when he wasn’t smoking. That was frustrating because I am a person with a personality who loved to laugh and I also liked conversation. We did find ways to work through all.of that due to all his other good traits overshadowing that one shifty thing and I am still with him now 13 years later. We talk, we laugh and we raise our children, these kiddos are our everything. We still have arguments and occasionally he will shut down but it is not near as bad as it used to be and not hurtful anymore. He and I both have anxiety, that is how he dealt as opposed to me who would not had taken an escape if I could had because I love to be in control and micromanage everything. My anxiety shows through constant anxious feelings some days and just being a control freak. Lol anyways, I would not say just deal with it because it is just Marijuana because I couldn’t tell you how many times I heard that bs but maybe, as long as he is not mean to you & as long as you love him and YOU feel like he really does want that part to change you should stick it out because as much as it seems like just an excuse he really could be suffering from something like anxiety.
Let him smoke. You should smoke
Hmmmmm if you have doubts about marriage now listen to your gut. I have my medical card due to pain in my back, I understand to a point, but nothing excuses his behavior.
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RUN while you still can sis!
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What you’ve described, he sounds like my ex husband, right down to the having an attitude about paying bills vs buying cannabis. If you truly believe that you can work things out, maybe look into getting his medical card and growing it himself. Otherwise, it’s not likely to change and you’ll need to decide how much you’re willing (boundaries, time, money) to sacrifice for this relationship.
My husband is the exact same way,not ur fault, not really hia either, my huaband recognized that he would blow up on me or who ever when he hadnt smoked, so he decided to go back to the dr and get put on meds , mood stabilizers and go to therapy, long story short it didnt work, meds made him a zombie to the point his boss made him leave work. You dont leave sombody because they have “issues”. Or whatever. If he acts like this now its not something new and disnt just pop up more then likely its been that way since day 1. I use 2 smoke i dont anymore but being with someone thats bipolar,add,adhd its just like a medication for them and what happens to someone that gets off meds? They go through all the withdrawals, and u wouldnt leave someone for that would u?
I feel like if you’re a long term weed smoker, just like a cigarette smoker, the irritability is a natural effect of not smoking it. I feel like just like nicotine, someone can be just as effected by weed. I notice when I don’t smoke, I have slight withdrawal from it. I get aggy, irritable and although it’s not an excuse to treat your partner like crap, he’s probably going through that when he isn’t smoking. I’m not saying to leave him over it, but express as much as you can how he makes you feel when he’s not smoking.
Girl leave and as hard as it is leave. No matter what your ok. Le a very please before it gets wr0sere leave
It’s called irritated. If you didn’t let me smoke I think you were annoying too
If he needs his bud in order to act like a decent human being then he has some real problems that will only get worse and not better. It may be best to get away from this now before your child has to see this get worse. He needs to get to the heart of why he needs to smoke verses wanting to just chill with
I would say do not marry this man, he will be worse after the wedding. Run just as fast as you can in the opposite direction and you’ll be better off for it.
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Probably has anexity or anger issues and cannabis can help treat that
I feel like alot of u do not understand mental health and what cannabis can do for you
He’s the best man but … honestly you need to quit making excuses for him. You have agreed to help him with his anger? Do you have control over his attitude? His anger is solely his problem to correct. You cannot change his behavior. You can however change your behavior and not allow yourself to be treated that way. The longer you allow another person to disrespect you, the worse it will become. Either realize he is the best man for who he is ALL THE TIME and accept him or accept yourself and that you deserve better and quit taking his disrespectful behavior. Your child will also grow up seeing this.
Sounds like he needs therapy and a prescription. He may be bi polar. After doing drugs for a long time then quitting, itt can affect the brain badly. If he cant get under control with it. Then maybe u should walk away. U dont deserve that.
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Sounds like my ex who eventually got mad enough to try to kill me. Leave, it doesn’t get better.
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I would break up if he’s unwilling to be kind or work on himself. Don’t get married if you’re unhappy. It doesn’t get better without work. Nothing magically changes.
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You are not responsible for changing or bettering his actions. Plain and simple: if he loved you, he wouldn’t be an ass to you. If he wanted to change and do better, he would. Send him packing 
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Literally my situation with my BD 4 years ago. Leave while you have the slightest bit if strength. He isn’t gonna change and he could be smoking more than just weed. I went the whole relationship not knowing he was actually doing meth. And before anyone here jumps at me to attack me, I was 19 and didn’t know how to tell if someone is on drugs, especially with love blinders on.
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if it hurts you then it hurts you, don’t ever feel bad for how you feel. your feelings are valid. leave him, i wouldn’t get married to someone like that. it’s easier to leave before the wedding than it would be to wait until after.
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From experience, my ex was evil when he didn’t have any and in the end resorted to physical violence when he didn’t have any or get his way
My OH smokes and a lot! He is a nightmare without it!
When we first got together I tried to stop him but soon realised that actually it doesnt affect me that hes smoking it.
I dont smoke, we have 2 kids together. He wakes up in the morning first thing he does is rubs to the back garden to get his ‘fix’
Hes never without it because he budgets it in his wage but he has been before and he went to almost any lengths to get it! He was shocking when he had non, moody, shouting bitching moaning a nightmare!
If I was to give any advise it would be leave him to it. If he cant get any and is moody leave him be, go do a job in the house or go out. If he wants to smoke let him. It’s not affecting u that hes smoking it so leave him be.
If it is something you cant get over then leave because talking from experience he prob wont stop. One because he doesnt want to and 2 because he cant!
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New someone like that and they were Bipolar
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Not your problem love you have tries you cant help some one who doesnt want to help themselves
Don’t marry him
You a fool of you do
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Sounds like he’s not the best man. He won’t change unless he wants to, no matter how much you try to help- you can’t control his actions. Do you really want to spend your life with someone who can’t treat you with basic decency unless he’s high?
Do you really want to teach your child that it’s ok to treat you like that? Or that it’s ok for men to treat women like that, and women should be fine with it?
If your child or a friend were in this situation, what advice would you give?
You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and you are trying to find someone to be your partner, not another child to parent.
If he acts this way now, how will he act when he has even more responsibility as a husband?
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You have a baby. If you won’t get away from him for yourself, do it for your child. You would be causing your life to be miserable, should you marry. Weed calms him down? He needs to grow up and you need to run as fast as you can! You answered your own question. You KNOW what to do. Now do it!!
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There may be sn underlying problem and i would advise seeing a psychiatrist.
My dude smokes because it eases his depression and anxiety. When hes without hes moody, irritable, and the panic attacks are damn near constant. Hes tried mood stabilizers, but had horrible side effects. For his own safety and well being i budget for it.
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My ex husband would do this as a fucked up way to hint that I better buy him some and fix it for him if I wanted his attitude towards me to change.
Run! It doesn’t get better. Do not marry him! They don’t get nicer when you marry😶
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Girl he’s going through it lol. If he quit smoking he needs to find a way to feel balanced without it. It’s a process let him know he’s treating you and of course if it continues and becomes unbearable leave him, but it’s a process. His way to be relaxed ain’t his way anymore so he needs to figure out what will help him.
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Leave. If he can’t change when your there he might change when your gone but it’ll be too late.
Its q disorder and he needs it to live. But on same hand he don’t need to be dependent on it with your kids around. I left my ex cause he was like that.
Girl that is a bad relationship I am sorry to say. It does not get better most of the time. I personally dealt with this and it only got worse.
I know you love him and yall have a kid together but if you stay with this man you are not doing what is best for you and your child.
I know it is hard and you are torn but you need to say no.
If he wanted to change HE would have. There is no asking someone to do it for you. Only that person can change their actions and he isn’t doing it. He is using you I am sorry to say.
I wish you the best of luck.
Whether people want to believe it or not, people can and do experience withdrawal from marijuana. It’s psychoactive. Irritability is one of those signs 
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My boyfriend has smoked weed all day everyday for the last 10+ years. When he goes even a few hours without any, he is VERY irritable and grumpy. Every little thing pisses him off to the extreme. He’s just in an all around bad mood. I like to think of it as me without my antidepressants. When I don’t take them, I’m very much the same way. My anxiety is high and I’m just in a bad mood. While smoking amplifies my anxiety, I think it helps with his. It’s his medicine, basically. If you guys are trying to ween him off of it, there are going to be struggles. It IS a drug so he’s probably having some sort of withdrawals, on top of everything else. You just have to take it one step at a time, as frustrating as it can be sometimes. I don’t agree with most of the women on here flat out telling you to leave him and saying that he won’t be better because I just don’t think that’s true. He’s going without the thing that helps him feel better, so it’s going to be hard for him to get used to not having it. He just needs to figure out what will help him.
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So you’re marrying someone who is already showing you red flags?
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Bye. I had an ex that swore with weed he was way better. It was a joke. He was abusive. Bipolar his mom blamed it on. If he wasn’t smoking he was taking her pills. Anything to get high. I told him I wasn’t supporting his habit when he refused to get a job. I was working 2. He hated it but that is why we divorced. He got another girl pregnant and was abusive to her. Men like this don’t change. Once you say I do it gets worse. By the way it does get better. I am remarried to a guy that spoils me and my kids. He refuses drugs and his addiction is gaming. Which is fine because I can join that. So drop him and find new.
Addiction is a mofo. Get him treatment. Sounds like withdrawal. This being said he don’t wanna seek help or recieve the help being offered and from what u have written he isn’t looking to get clean, so to my original thought, leave. U WILL DESTROY URSELF trying to save, aid etc someone who isn’t interested in being saved. And from what I’m reading u deserve more than that. U deserve to be more than the battering ram for his crap when he ain’t feeding his demon
Don’t get married yet is number 1. Number 2, maybe he doesn’t find your help to be helpful and I dont mean that to be rude. I noticed you said its been a year since you both agreed that YOU would help him with his anger but what experience do you have in that type of department? He may need to see a counselor to find out what is really bothering him and causing him to lash out and if it involves you he will more likely be hesitant to be honest about it which will probably create more anger in the relationship. It sounds like he needs to see a professional for counseling or anger management at the very least.
Leave hes not ready to put you before the weed.
Girl you better tell him and his weed goodbye!!! He not gonna change…
Honestly coming from someone who smoked weed. (Before I got pregnant) its actually normal 
its called being out of weed. Yes we act like cunts. But if you can’t handle it leave. When my fiance smokes cigs and runs out he acts the same. Its called addiction. If you can’t deal with it leave. Not saying you have to and if it gets too bad then yea you should go. But if you love this man its up to you to decide if you want to deal with it. Not anyone in this group. Just my opinion it may sound rude and I do apologize if I offended you or anyone in this group. But still my opinion remains the same
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Leave or he’ll most likely end up treating your baby the same way…
This may sound harsh but I don’t mean it that way. He is an addict. U can’t just expect him to change overnight. The fact that he’s actually quitting for you, should say enough. My opinion (as a life long stoner currently trying to quit) is that u should explain to him how he’s treating you, makes u feel. I also believe you should try to understand that cannabis is an antidepressant, meaning that he could be suffering from depression, bipolar, schizophrenia, ect and was self medicating this whole time. He needs to find something else to replace the pot, rather that’s a prescription (not what I’d recommend) or just finding something that brings him joy. Idk if you’ve struggled with any addictions yourself but for the most part, there’s an underlying reason as to why we get addicted. Try to be understanding & as shitty as it is, accept how he’s being for now, but let it be known you won’t tolerate it forever & WE (let him know you’re on this ride with him & try to be) will figure it out. Also, I wouldn’t consider this a “red flag” assuming him smoking isn’t new to begin with.
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I smoke for my depression and anxiety and when I don’t have it, my mood is complete shit. I’ll be panicking and irritated about everything cause I’m on edge. It’s my medicine.
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Does he ever take more than a week long break? The first week of withdrawal is hard and can cause mood swings but if he’s so addicted its causing withdrawal he needs help to quit and wont be able to so it on his own or function without it.
Oh girl don’t get married. He will not stop smoking and if he has too you will not want him around. So either let him smoke or leave.
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Run as fast as you can. He won’t change
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He’s addicted and starts to go through withdrawals. Been there done that 
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Let the man enjoy his smoke!! He probably needs it to control his emotions. I see it as medicine.
Everything you said is a warning sign. You love him, but he’s mean when he doesn’t smoke. Do you love the mean him? Cause that’s who he really is. You agreed to help him, but you can’t. He has to do it because he wants to. After a year, I’m betting this is just his personality. Ask him if he will talk to a counselor. It sounds like he’s angry that he has to do the responsible thing like pay bills. If he says no, seriously reconsider the marriage. It will only get worse .
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Honestly, I’m the same way without weed. I always have an attitude, or get annoyed easily if I don’t smoke. I just mean…he may not be meaning to.
Do not get married. Its quite obvious he isn’t a functional cannabis smoker, it’s not for everyone and the fact his whole persona changes when he isn’t high is what makes it clear its not for him, time to give it up.
If you find it hard to talk write a letter of how his behaviour makes you feel, does he want his son to follow in his footsteps and think this is how to live life or to treat other people. I would call off your wedding until he gives it up, it will of course be tough for both of you, in the long run though it’ll be the best thing he can do for himself and his family, he should also reach out to the GP for mental health support for both this and his anger. Ultimately though all you can do is support him if he goes ahead with it only he can help himself
SEPTEMBER SO CLOSE BUT A PIECE OF PAPER IS NOT GOING TO MAKE IT BETTER.
1.tomorrow wont change.
2.i loved mine 55 yrs best of doctors (passed)
3.prepare make sure you can care of your self and son.
4one daughter 30 yrs now alone. with kids with masters they DONT care.
Leave. It’s not the weed. He shows his true self when he’s not high. Not unless you like mean.
When he is not smoking . That is his ture personality. Don’t marry him that’s my thought
If he has to smoke pot to act decently to you, I think you already know the answer. Maybe see if he will try antidepressants? That’s not normal.
That man is gonna kill you one day.
Dump this guy and quick. He is a jerk. Unless you want to commit to feeding his habit daily to keep him on at even temperament he is going to continue to be agitated when he isn’t smoking because he actually needs to go to anger management classes and counseling to work through some deeply seated issues he takes out on you when he isn’t stoned. Write ‘LOSER’ on his forehead with a marker next time he is asleep stoned and pack and leave. Love doesn’t hurt sweetheart. 
They tend to get like that…throw his ass out