QUESTION:
“My fiancé’s ex-girlfriend of 6 years, who is now engaged with a baby of her own, sent him a letter to his old house. We rent the house out now, so the tenant gave us the mail. It was a love letter, begging for him back, expressing how much she messed up (she cheated on my fiancé with her now fiancé lol ironic, right). He wants to shred the letter and forget about it. I’m just curious how many people would tell her fiancé? I feel like I should not even out of spite, but just because it’s so shitty, and he deserves to know. Thoughts?”
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
“Give the letter to him. It probably won’t change anything but it’s important to have closure. My ex wrote me a letter and I didn’t receive it until years later. He tucked it behind a board in the back porch thinking I would see it, but instead it slipped through and wasn’t discovered until the house was renovated. All those years I thought he was a complete a-hole. Unaware of how much he hurt me. But when I read the letter I realized he knew he hurt me and loved me. I didn’t have to carry that anger around anymore.”
“I’m sure she sent it as a cry for help. She’s probably already miserable and in a bad situation. Instead of thinking with jealousy, think what is happening to her. You know he’s not going back so why do that? What if it’s an abusive situation and you alert him?”
“I’d stay out of it. Maybe she needed to let it out before taking the big step. Maybe cold feet? Either way, I wouldn’t tell her fiancé, it isn’t your place. Let it go.”
“So I had an ex who called me every year on my birthday leaving voicemails that might as well have been love letters begging for me back. He was also with a long time girlfriend during this time. Honestly I never contacted her, I feel like what happens in the dark comes to light eventually but I definitely wasn’t going to be the messenger. It’s not worth the drama.”
“I would stay out of it. It’s not your business and you don’t know how her boyfriend will react. If your fiance wants to shred it, you should respect that anyway. His feelings should come before ours. I would be pissed if I was in your fiance’s shoes and I wanted to shred it, and my man went behind my back. Don’t ruin your relationship, trying to get back at his ex. It’s really not worth it.”
“Honestly sweetheart it isn’t your place … I understand he is your fiancé and what she says to him is somewhat your business but making sure the other guy knows is just being down right hurtful … I wouldn’t because it would cause harm to him … And more than likely he’ll stay anyways and it’ll be a waste of time … Your only concern is how YOUR fiancé takes it and what he does … I would totally stay out of it and let him handle it”
“She expresses her feelings & he doesnt feel the same so let it go. Ive had exs tell me they still love me & wish they were with me yet I pay no attention to it. Im married & have a kiddo plus one on the way obviously I’m happy & not going to change it over an ex. Most of my exs cheated on me so I would never take any of them back.”
“I wouldn’t take part in any drama. It will always come back somehow. I’d “return to sender” or trash it and don’t respond. One day her fiancé will know the dirt on her without your interference, and that’s their business. Good luck!”
“No…two wrongs don’t make a right…Not your place to tell her partner…stay out of it…”
“If your heart is pure with intention just to protect her fiancé from pain I’d tell him, mainly because if that was me I’d want to know before I married someone who doesn’t even love me whole heartedly . But if you are doing it with vengefulness in your heart and out of get back at her feelings I’d leave it alone.”
“Just leave it as is. Don’t get involved with needless nonsense. She loves him, so what. It’s about his feelings now and let him do him. He doesn’t care about her, so he doesn’t care. I’ve received things in the past from exes and just let it go most of the time. I only reconciled with one and I don’t regret it.”
“Do what you would want someone to do for you. Be the person you would want in your life to be honest when it’s hard.”
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