My fiance hides stuff about his ex: Advice?

Leave before you have a kid with this man and he goes back to her.

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If he isn’t honest with you…?
Why do you stay with him.
If there’s no trust what is the point.

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Leave him for treating your kids that way.

You don’t have to take this man’s crap. He lies to you, cheats on you with his ex, doesn’t stand up for you or your deceased child, throws temper tantrums when he’s home. What are you doing with a jerk who disrespects you like this? You deserve a man who wants to be with you and chooses you 100%.

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Tell him to hit the road!!! What a jerk!!! And this exwife??? RUDE of her to say that!!! Be done you and your kids deserve better!!!

You’re stupid if you marry this man. He’s still in love with his ex. It’s time to wake up!! Don’t take this crap!!

Jesus woman the man isn’t over his ex. Just tell him to go back to the stupid b. and you go your separate way. I wouldn’t want to be with a man that didn’t say nothing to another woman about hoping our baby died anyway. If you choose to stay with him you’ll keep going thru all that so you can’t complain

I’m sorry to tell you he still loved her, maybe not in love with her, but if you love him you let him know , because if he wanted to be back with her he would be there and not with you, him being a nurse and having children with her he does not want his kids being motherless, but you have to set your boundaries and let him know unless its to do with the kids to not be talkingg to her, be open with him and don’t ever be afraid to let him know how you feel, if he is staying in his room he maybe thinking that he needs to get custody of kids, he may be thinking she may try it again, but if she is telling him she will kill herself unless he gets back withh her is wrong, not saying that’s the case and I pray its not, her saying she hoped every child you carry dies,that’s her not caring about him either that’s saying she not only hates you, but his flesh and blood dalso, and thats alot for noth of you to swallow, maybe counseling could help yall,God is my number one counselor in everything, he bought me and my husband back together 4 years ago, long story, but hun if you love him fight for him, and i dont nean physical because our better than that, but fight until there is nothing left to fight for, life is to short to be holding your breath on broken promises,or dreams that you think will never come true,I will be praying for yall tonight, God bless you and have a great night

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Kick his ass to the curb

Fuck him. He still loves her. You are second, if even that. Leave him now.

Yeah no lol. Not acceptable

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I personally don’t find you selfish at all for feeling the way you do… he could’ve told you where he was going before he left but also something is def sketchy… I’m sorry you’re going through this

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I honestly don’t think your overreacting at all. Hope it gets better

He sounds like he’s not over her. I’d cut my losses and leave

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No cool!! I know this is impossible to practice but being alone is better then being miss treated

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She toxic af and he’s blind to it. Also, if you don’t put your foot down, and hard, this will ruin your relationship.

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Run run run :running_woman: and do not look back.

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I would leave him that’s not right and the only contact he should have with her should be about their child period … you should be able to see their messages etc

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You deserve better. Let her have him, they’ll never be happy and neither will you if you stay. Find a man who treats you well

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But personally, just throw the whole man away, he’s acting like he is attached to her tit and I’m not about that bs.

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Mine cheated twice… got rid of him … I have 2 boys and our home is a much better place without hostility and sadness :slightly_smiling_face:

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He’s seeing her on the side, at least emotionally. Leave.

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Your relationship is already doomed… quit wasting your time.

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He obviously still loves his ex wife… leave him, I wouldn’t put up with that

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The longer you stay, the longer you prolong your internal pain.

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It probably feels like because you love him you should stay. I don’t think you should. Love is undeniable. Actions say everything. If you don’t feel loved you aren’t.

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You’re either ignoring the red flags or you’re on here because you don’t want to listen to your gut. I’m sorry but it’s time to go.

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Do not marry him. Leave now.

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Hell no. This would not fly in my house. At all. And if a bitch EVER texted my SO, fiance, husband whatever that shes glad my baby died and Hope’s they all keep dying…well, she would he hearing from me. Also, I’d call CPS with an anonymous tip. If shes using and overdosing she doesn’t need children in her care. She cant care for herself. Salty ass little bitch she is.

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Nope nope nope !!! You are not over reacting at all !!!

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Time to go hun. What he’s hiding is his feelings for her.

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That’s not normal, and it’s definitely not acceptable behaviour. They don’t need to be in constant contact and for her to say such awful things about your miscarriage is down right disgusting. She is obviously still in love with him, I would be getting rid if he’s more concerned about her

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Always trust your gut. Leave. Do not put yourself through the pain

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Unfinished business. To the curb he goes.

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When my x husband was found dead in his bed, I rushed to the house…but I took my boyfriend with me… We had developed a civil friend since we had kids…it was not a secret that we were friends…there is some thing going on…you need to ask him or kick him to the curb

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Sounds like he had no business starting a relationship with you when he obviously has strong feelings for his ex.
The fact that y’all have no kids together, this is a clean break from this disastrous relationship.
Sorry but if you stay, you’re only breaking your own heart.

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Leave. Still in love with the ex :-1:

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Wow i’m very sorry but yes he’s in the wrong and definitely hiding something.

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It sounds like hes still in love with her. I would leave him as hard as that might be. You would both be happier off in the long run.

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With what you’ve said…I think it’s time to walk away. There’s zero reason he should be talking to his ex that much or hiding it from you. If he’s hiding stuff then there’s usually a reason and not a good one.

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Yeah he still has feelings for her. He wouldn’t hide it otherwise. I’d run for the hills.

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Your better without him, you shouldn’t be questioning your relationship! You should be secure and happy!

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Sounds like he is seeing his ex on the side. Or leading her on.

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Ummm no I’d be pissed. I’d leave.

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He’s clearly not over her.

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That is not okay. It is one thing to speak to her about their kids but if she is saying those things about your child then he needs to put up boundaries and he should not be just running out without telling you anything. I think you need to talk to him first about it and if he still doesn’t then i would leave. Better now then after you are married

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Life is too short to be unhappy one day.

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Oh nooooooo.
leave NOW!!

He “overlooked” her saying she was glad you miscarried??

Run & don’t look back on him!!
I feel they could re unite if she gets her way.

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You not selfish fuck that bitch she wished death on your kids that’s exactly why the miserable hoe overdosed karma got her ass and you need to tell him to get his shit together because if the situation was reversed he would feel some type of way i don’t think your overreacting at all you need to be able to trust him and he should have no reason at all to be deleting messages that’s very suspicious

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This seems like a relationship you should no longer be a part of. :frowning:

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She’s playing games, he is obviously still wanting her to. I would run the fuck away, as fast as you can, before that crazy bitch really fucks up your life. I bet she didn’t even overdose. She’s just playing the dumb bitch.

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If he wants his ex why is he making you miserable go get her let you go on with your life it’ll keep being about her so just let him no you or her or the highway God bless you

That was horrible what she texted but I dno it’s his kids mum??? If she overdosed and died his kid wouldn’t have a mother? I would expect mine to run to me if something like that happens

It sounds like she has mental issues as well as a drug problem I’m sure this is incredibly hard for him too. A woman he used to love and has a child with going through what she is going through. He probably doesn’t show it but her struggle is probably tearing him up inside and he can’t show you that because he doesn’t want you upset.

Don’t get me wrong I would be irate at what she said but he’s probably not telling you anything because he doesn’t want you pissed off. He’s trying to juggle her and you and can’t cope.
I would sit down and talk to him, try to get what he’s feeling out there so you can understand. He probably doesn’t even know how to approach the situation.

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It’s going to hurt you more in the long run. Maybe he honestly does care for you and your children but based on what you have posted I think he’s in love with his ex.

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My husbands ex said “I hope your bitch looses the baby” and he got straight pissed which is how your man should’ve acted because if he loves you he wouldn’t let anyone say anything ugly towards you! Once a man starts deleting messages you might as well count him gone especially if it’s an ex, and if he didn’t say a word and ran out the door to go aide her then that alone tells you who his heart is with because any man that loves you is going to communicate with you about the situation

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It’s not normal at all, my ex let the mother if his child move in with him, we lived hours away from eachother and kept telling me she’s nothing to him and it’s just because she doesn’t have anywhere to go and they have a son and boom she got pregnant by him a second time just let him go it’s not worth the pain.

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I’d be taking that engagement ring off…

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Leave his ass… he’s not worth it

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He’s treating you like the side woman.

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He’s cheatin on you honey… simple as that

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And he should of stood up for you everytime something about you came out the bitch filthy mouth

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…unless ur kid was with her when she overdosed…he shouldnt have ever went helllll nooo

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I think you need to really need to ask him to tell you the truth sounds like he still has feelings for her and being with him will only prolong your anony. You mama need to be happy for those babies and remain calm and seriously think about your relationship because he shouldn’t shut you out and act like he has no families that’s a no no … And how is he gonna act like you and his kids don’t matter!! Tell him to get his dick out his ass and be a man period :100:

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Sounds like you are the rebound. I would get out either I’m 1st or none. I will not play second fiddle to noone. My hubs ex tried this crap exactly one time. I went straight to her house and said listen honey.

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Please, please leave this relationship.

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Have you at least asked him what’s going on? Why he’s hiding things, talks to her so much, etc.? He could still be in love with her, or he could be enmeshed and co-dependant. If she’s overdosing on purpose or accident, she has mental problems and he may have been in a position to take care of her and be responsible for her for a very long time. Love isn’t the same as duty but they can look alike.

Maybe he’s upset because the mother of his kids almost died, or maybe she’s not doing well. Especially if he left her, he may feel guilty if she’s suicidal and fears that she’ll kill herself etc. It doesn’t sound good from what you’ve said, but I wouldn’t assume. Still. A conversation and limit setting / boundaries between he and her is appropriate.

I’m going to say this. You see the red flags. You can tell by the gut feeling that his not interested in you. It’s very clear that his seeing his ex, and that they have been going behind your back. You need to leave. Don’t make excuses for him cause you love him. Just pack your stuff up and leave. He is telling you by his actions that his in love with his ex.

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My husband has an ex and I wouldn’t not tolerate this crap. Girl get rid of him now. I would have left when I saw the text about your baby and he didn’t say anything to her. I know it’s easier said then done, but girl leave now!

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Helllllurrrrrrr red flags. Absolutely not. Your feelings are very much justified and you have every right to feel them because the feelings he has for her, are there. No matter how you cut it… and it sounds like she knows exactly what she has to do for his attention. You deserve much better.

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Honey, you know what needs done. Do it. Hugs & prayers.

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He shouldn’t be hiding anything. If he isn’t doing nothing wrong no need to hide it.

You deserve better love don’t settle for that

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Get the F out before it’s to late. If you marry this chump you’re in big trouble.

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Leave and leave now!

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He will never be honest with you because he can’t even be honest with himself… How many red flags do you need? You and your children deserve better.
Just cut ties and go.

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Get rid of the creep

I could never marry someone with a child previously because I see these kinds of posts all the time and to be completely honest I’d kill his ass! I’d block her and make her call me. Wtf?! Why does he need to talk to her 24/7, unless the child is chronically ill there is ZERO need.

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The fact that he even talks to her after she said that after your miscarriage :exploding_head::expressionless: Hell no. He’s with you and needs to support you and your relationship. From what you say it seems like he’s still involved emotionally with her. He can’t have it both ways. Give him some space for a few days then have a very serious conversation with him. If he’s unwilling kick him out.

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He is clearly not over her and it doesn’t seem to bother him how he treats you and the lack of everything. Him and his relationship to her is very toxic… You and your kids need to leave, he will not change

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You and your kids deserve better :woman_shrugging:t2:

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He will only get worse. Dropping everything for her, yet ignores you, the person he’s with. This isn’t ok, you’re not overreacting. He’s throwing red flags all over the place! I ignored the red flags, and now he’s left me high and dry, to die. Don’t be like me!

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They do not have a healthy relationship. Even being a nurse, you call the ambulance and get fastest medical treatment. To keep any sort of secrets aside from that- is not healthy. Im all about getting along with your childs parent but theres a line you have to draw out of personal healthy boundaries and respect for your partner especially. That shouldve been determined between yall way before an engagement. You will continue to deal with what you allow. Unfortunately right now isnt a good time but maybe using this as an example after the dust settles. Ask him ‘do you think its appropriate to delete texts between yall’ ‘do you think its more appropriate for you to be the one rushing to her side for a medical emergency versus an ambulance?’ ‘How would you feel if this were going on with me and my ex?’

I went through this unfortunately. Put up with it way too long. He spent my whole labor texting his ex about god knows what and I found out later she was one of the first to see a picture of my daughter. Please just leave the relationship. It’s not worth it. It never will be. It’ll be hard but so worth it. If you need someone to talk to please reach out :two_hearts:

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Do yourself and your babies a favour and move out and move on… That man doesn’t love you he is still in love with his ex

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Run,run,run!..My husband has a ex also…that would not be happening,if it did,I’d be goneeeee!
Get out…u deserve way better…sounds like they deserve each other!

Step aside and let them 2 get back together… He resents you for not being her. If it wasnt for you they’d be together type thing (in his/her head) when in fact, if it wasn’t for him/her.
You’re the fall guy:/

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It doesn’t sound like he’s in love with you. If he was he wouldn’t hid things from you like that. If she feels comfortable saying things like I hope all your babies die than he must make her feel safe to say those things. Sounds like he’s still in love with her. I would walk away from him and bet they would end up back together.

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So many other good considerate people in this world, why settle?! Sorry ur going through this but u know what to do and it’s time!

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He’s obviously not ready to move on and rebuild his life with you. For yours and your kid’s sake just leave him and move forward with your life

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:running_man: as fast as you can.

Don’t marry him, until he can’t tells you what the hell is going on. You also need to voice your concerns and give an ultimatum. It is not right for him to be doing that to you, no matter what relationship they have. It should be strictly co-parenting.

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Whatever terms they separated over wasn’t fully settled.
The longer he holds onto her and what she says the less yall will have moments to grow on. My fiance had an ex. Luckily they didn’t have kids no offense she had problems. Toyed with him alot they always cheated on each other. It was like the same routine over and over.
When he got with me I thought it was solid. No he was messaging her outside talking to her right after ke and her had words instead of coming in to be by my side. He entertained her whole ordeal and the longer he allows that the longer shes gonna be in the picture.
She didn’t even want him she just liked how crazy he was over her and how easy it was for her to have him under her thumb. I’d never seen him so torn and I just wanted to show him he can have better. An he does.
It’s an awful thing she overdosed but if it’s that serious why why would they let each other go. That’s always what the question goes back to.
I’d let it ride out him do his thing he’ll learn one way or the other. Took my man a year and some long nights of tears for me before he realized the better woman.
I dont wish anything on that girl. I just wanted the person she took so for granted.

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Get out while you still can . . Also return the treatment. .

Red Flag what are you waiting for,you need to come first,don’t stand in line,in second place

You decide what you deserve.

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Maybe he is scared to see his kids mom go threw this addiction and not wanting to have to tell his kids his mom overdose or worse he hides messages so it doesn’t upset u of course he went in the room he is worried that’s what parents do not all exes hate each other hopefully the ex gets help

Went through similar with my guy and it went on like that for 6 yrs cuz she was/ is a narcissist and had a hold on him like no other and used their child as a tool if he didn’t do or say what she wanted him to, she’d take their child away and used to say “you know you miss this p****” and “she’ll never be me” etc and would bash talk me and so disrespectful but yet in my face she’d “play nice” some days then other days say “I wasn’t welcome for a month or two” and again he went along with ALL of it due to he was still in love with her and her hold on him, she’d ALWAYS put him down etc to make him feel like he HAD to prove his worth to her even though he was with me. It was BAD. I dealt cuz I loved him, I knew one day he’d see I was right ALL along, and he did, it just took six years and a million heartbreak from shit they put me through… It’s been eleven years total now and so glad I stayed. So to each their own if you can handle it or not… I could, shouldn’t have probably, most wouldn’t have, but again in the long wrong we have two beautiful boys and I couldn’t be happier and he’s seen the light and cut ties the last 4 yrs. :slight_smile: good luck and I’m sorry you have to go through this and the loss of your child…

I would leave. Fuck that. Its about the kid after u break up. Nothing else. No hiding messages are allowed. My husband bm told him he needed to delete messages between them n i was like thats a fast fucking way to lose me. So think long n hard about ur next decision. Convos need to be about the kid n nothing else. Thats it

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Time to go! He’s not the one…

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