Couples counseling now-##!!!
Just throw the whole man out 
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He’s in love with a drug addict…as harsh as it is. Try ultimatum or just get up and go. I’d be gone already tbh.
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Theres more going on with her than you know about
my bf has an amazing relationship with his ex an would drop everything to be by her side because she is the mother of his kids and i fully support him my ex however has a gf like you who checks his phone an listens in on our conversations 
its to the point that we can only talk when hes at work and i am positive he deletes msgs because its easier then fighting over stupid shit. if you cant accept he has a history before you then move on to someone else
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Hell no. Confront him, push and ask why he’s so involved with an EX and consider getting out of there. Why did she even know you lost a baby? For her to even know, let alone be wishing your future babies dead? This chick is toxic and interactions need to be based around the mural kids involved and nothing else. Deleting messages? He’s got something to hide and is likely encouraging encouraging the behavior.
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All he owes his ex is respectful co parenting… what he is doing currently to you is not from a place of love sadly - you deserve better:heart:. I hope you and your babies move on and never look back 
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The fact that he didn’t put her in her place about talking about your child dying is beyond fucked up. He sounds like he’s still in love with her and honestly I’d just leave. You don’t need that shit in your life and I’d be worried about going through with the marriage and then him eventually running back to her.
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You really need to think about what you want and what your worth is. Honesty, I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s something between them or regrets his decisions. How long have they been split up? If it were me I’d be out of there!!!
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So you still said yes to his proposal after she said those messed up stuff and he didn’t even say anything? How many red flags do you need?!
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I would leave girl it’s not okay for someone to treat anyone that way he definitely has some things in his own head going on that he needs to work out it’s not your job to fix him he probably feels bad for her overdosing like maybe if he wouldn’t have left her she wouldn’t be like that but that’s still not your problem take your kids and go or make him go either way get out of that relationship last thing you need your kids to endure is their male figure running to his junkie ex Everytime she does to much drugs your kids shouldn’t have to be in that kind of environment or have to deal with anything like that. Him and his kids do because that’s what he chooses for his kids she shouldn’t even have any kind of custody if she is using drugs and he shouldn’t be talking to her next thing you know you’re going to have CPS in your life ready to take your kids because he can’t protect his and you staying with him and enabling that is not being protective in their eyes to your kids what if one of his kids finds her drugs at her house and brings them back to your kids and your kids die because he didn’t want to keep the kids from their junkie mom. Please do what’s best for you and your children. I only say this from experience I used to be that mom who did drugs and even though my kids never knew it still could have hurt them more than I ever want to think about losing them made me get my stuff together to be the great mom I am today
Fuck him and her. They deserve each other. Im sorry for your miscarriage, its one of the hardest things a woman can go through, but everything happens for a reason and God has a reason. You dont need ties w someone that’ll jump on their ex over you at a split second. Find a better man and be actually fucking happy. A real man will never make you second guess or make you feel the way you do
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Get your babies and run!
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For one she almost got karma back for talking about your baby u lost next time she won’t be as lucky 2 leave his sorry ass he ain’t worth it he’s more worried about her than comforting u thier things God telling you just listen 
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Let me preface by saying I AM THE PETTIEST PERSON I KNOW. I say get out, but not before you make them BOTH miserable. It’s sad she OD’d yes, but she is still obviously a horrible person. If anyone ever said they were glad I lost a baby, WE. WOULD. THROW. HANDS.
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Move on. You deserve a man who loves you and puts you first. The fact that he overlooked those comments says everything. Don’t waste your life on a man who isn’t giving you 100%. There are good men out there. Find one with no kids and is ready to be a husband and then a father. You are worth it!
Also- the fact that is willing to try and have a baby without marrying you first is a warning sign too. A good man would want to make you an honest woman.
Run. Life is too short.
I talk to my ex quite frequently. We have a son together. We were together for 14 years and married for 9years. We are significantly better friends and amazing coparents, we were not a good couple. My boyfriend rarely talks to his ex and finds it odd that mine and I talk so much but appreciates that we have the relationship we do for our child.
That all being said, I would NEVER, withhold a conversation I had with my ex from my partner.
Did he delete messages prior to the miscarriage comments? Playing devils advocate here,I wonder if it’s as simple as he recognizes what she says as highly offensive and does not want you hurting further. So he removes the messages? Additionally he sees her as a train wreck (the OD) and feels a need to protect?
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think maybe its time to stop asking the question about him an start asking them of yourself. is this what you deserve is this what you want as a future relationship. start putting YOU first… you cannot change whatt someone is doing etc but you can change how you are treated. self worth all the way. all in all hope thingz work out for you all.
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I would leave Him ASAP
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Maybe he has been feeling quilty because he left her and she has obviously serious mental issues…
I see a lot of comments about leave him…but you don’t know the whole story… before you decide anything sit down and communicate… regardless of your feelings for her did you ask him how he was doing after having to face the mother of his child nearly dying…
Maybe he was hurt because you weren’t thinking of his feelings…I could be totally wrong and off base but isn’t it better to find out all information before you decide to dump and run…
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All the comments and all that I have seen say run. That says something.
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Girl he is still in love with her. Stop trying to compete. Be with a man who puts you and your feelings first.
Regardless if it’s right or wrong you don’t like it so it’s not about being right or wrong it’s about respect or disrespecting you. Don’t live in another woman’s shadow.
sorry mama
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What you want to do and need to do are often two different things.
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You need to leave that toxic mess quickly…he isn’t over her at all. For her to say that is absolutely horrible. She sounds like a real winner-that poor baby too.
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Sounds like he is still in love with her.
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I say leave this man. It doesn’t sound like he loves you or your children. Doesn’t sound like he’s over his ex. Honestly her overdosing is not his problem, his kid was with him so why did he need to run after her? Maybe try having a serious talk with him about it all first but it really doesn’t sound like he’s very into the relationship, specially with him letting her say those horrible things about your miscarriage.
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He doesnt love you honey. You need to wake up and leave.
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One word… leave!!!
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You already know the answers, you just want confirmation
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Your kids deserve to see a happy mother, either single and happy or with a man who’ll treat her right and won’t hide shit. Leave his sorry ass.
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Leave. He’s cool with her saying she hopes your kids die/keep dying but then he messages her non stop and saves her life? I woulda been like “whoops maybe this is God’s way of showing you you don’t wish death on children”
He is still in love with his ex…or he wouldnt be hiding things from you…trust me…LET HIM GO!!! HE will blame u for everything…sounds like that has already started …im sorry…
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That’s extremely sad you need to unleash your feelings and it will put u where you need to be that’s borderline not cool set boundaries on a mother fucker
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Speak directly with him.Maybe he is not ready yet for this relation
Why would anyone want to see this stuff.
Young people, seek a respected older person.
Not random opinions
Take your kids and leave that toxic situation alone! He’s not ready for a relationship
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Where is your backbone?
He needs help.
You go to someone in your family who will be wise.
Geese. Mom, grow up and get out.
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He isn’t over her. Time for you to move on.
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I’ve blocked this page.
Decisions are hard, but when these things happen, you are just encouraging the guy.
Leave build you a life that’s good for you and your children
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Jeez people are harsh on here.
Maybe she is mentally ill (based off of what she said about your baby and then overdosing). When people are on drugs they aren’t in the right state of mind and it sounds like she needs serious help.
But if you were on your death bed and your ex was a nurse and that’s who your parent called to help save your life, would you be mad? I don’t see it as him having feelings for her, he’s doing his job and saving the mother of his child at the same time. I think that’d be easier than explaining to the child that the mother passed away. I mean honestly, kudos to him for doing what he is trained to do. I think anyone in the medical field would’ve dropped everything and left to go help as well.
Maybe today he’s trying to process what had happened last night. I’m sure in his mind he was more scared for his child than anything (with the outcome that could’ve been terrible). I’m sure it’s not easy to process things that the medical field goes through everyday but I’m sure it’s worse when it hits home.
Don’t get me wrong though, that does not disregard what she said about your baby. But like I said, she might need some serious help. People who are hurt, hurt others. She’s obviously hurting. You did not deserve to hear the words that came out of her mouth though. My prayers for comfort for you!
He definitely shouldn’t be hiding things from you either! It could be just not wanting to start an argument over something petty as well. I would go to counseling first before you just run away. You obviously said yes for a reason. But whatever you’re feeling, I always say, “trust your gut! It never lies!” I hope the best for you with your road ahead.
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You r the other woman hesusing you he’s still involved w other lady… that hurts that he treats you an yr kids like that eating in another room …wow…leaving not saying anything honey he is running game…she plays they both play to piss you off or get a reaction or to make you jealous or insecure it’s not healthy maybe jus move on start over before it all blows up bad!
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Sounds like she’s playing games and making him feel guilty…guess what…it’s working. Give him a day to process what happened and then it’s time for a heart to heart.
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Girl. That isn’t your man. He is still hers. I know it sucks because I did three years of the same shit. Leave.
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Honey ur the other woman by the sounds of it my advice is end the engagement and let him go back to the mother of his children because he has unfinished feelings with her and you aren’t doing u or children any good bye stick around and honestly ur kids are gonna grow up thinking this is how u treat ur partner. I wish you all the best in whatever choice u make
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Hes clearly unable to give you or your family what you deserve.Send him back to her.Regsrdless of if he wants to be with her or not he clearly has unfinished buisness there.You and your children deserve so much more and if you allow this to continue your children will accept this as normality it will effect their future judgement in their own relationships. Remember hes lied to you so that really says nothing for your relationship move on you deserve so much better
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THE WRITING IS ON THE WALL…Don’t get married as it will only get worse…and don’t get pregnant…
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You either gona put up with it and stop complaining or leave…simple🤷♀️
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Please your children are learning from you. Don’t you deserve better…respect
“I hope your babies keeping dying & I’m glad one already died” … I’d bop her real quick 
… kick him to the curb & tell him to leave 
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Time to move on, it’s clear he hasn’t.
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First of all I am going to be blunt…some might say language offensive but here it goes…
I have a fiancee and and ex husband and we all get along. However we didn’t in the beginning.
There is open communication texting and such. There should be no hidden communications … no reason for hiding things at all. (Deleted messages) That is some shady shit. Then for the his ex to say that about your baby is completely fucked up. I have to say had that been me I would have said something directly to her. How dare she say that about you precious angel!!! What person says that?? I will tell you… a person who is cold and heartless that is who and to bring God into that … that is just asking for trouble. God is not punishing him or you. God dosen’t work like that. Anyone who says so is not Godly at all.
No she clearly does have issues as you can see she tried to take her own life. She is a mental case. He may of ran to her side after this overdose but she is the childs mother. He is and always will have a attachment there. But coming home and locking himself away like that suggests more. She is playing on his emotions. Why else would she od?
You need to be firm with this man. Tell him this is what is acceptable and what is not for you and your children. Especially for your angel. Would u let her talk to any of your other children like that? No… Of course not. She is causing issues now for your other children too and it is time to put your foot down.
If you choose to stay together…
All messages will be public property from this point on… we do that in our relationship. Good or bad we address it all together. If something bad is said then you have the opportunity to address it. With her directly. Not through him. No middle person.
Next set limits with him. When it comes to the ex.he needs to tell you where bvb he is going. What bgg is happening etc. You are a grown ass woman and an adult you are entiled to know. If he is in a relationship with you then it should not be an issue. He is a fucking grown ass man and he needs to respect you enough to at least tell you.
I definately would not marry until u have things worked out.
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If hes not open with you about everything, thats where Id draw the line.
Why are you still with him? He cleary still wants his ex.
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Why are you even in this relationship? You know he’s wrong and he never should have started a relationship with you. He’s an enabler…he can’t cut the ties with the addict. Chalk this up as a learning experience and move on, no exceptions. You CAN NOT force him to see what he’s doing wrong, and he’ll just lie to you and make promises he can’t keep. Take your children far away from this unhealthy relationship and drama first…then get some therapy to find out why you have even continued to subject yourself and your kids to this kind of emotional abuse and disrespect.
Yeah girl, he should NOT be talking, texting or what ever with the ex. You’ve got to make a clean break from that CRAP meaning the both of them. You’ve got a LIFE too LIVE and you don’t need ALL that drama. Let them have their misery back. You’ve got THIS Girl.
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Listen… this is gonna sound really cold but I’m speaking from my personal experience as a mother that went through a few miscarriages… God is trying to tell you something. The losses? He’s trying to show you that THAT DUDE is NOT the one. On top of the red flags: deleted messages, being closed up in another room, he’s not checking her about being disrespectful, running to her side without even letting you know? You need to leave him alone. You’re not meant to be with him. Call it off and move on. Your blessing is coming, be patient.