I came across this on his debit transactions because he signed into his account on my phone. On January 28th he paid someone $16.05 to someone! He denied it until I showed him his transaction history and then claimed he didn’t know what it was. He will not tell me what he paid a girl for, and I KNOW OnlyFans is free to create an account. I wasted 8 years of my life for this kind of behavior from my ex-husband! My trust has now been broken, once again. I don’t understand why he did this…? I am VERY upset!!! I have cried my eyes out and the thought that he even did this. If I were to create a page and I post nudes/videos, he’d be upset that other men were paying for them! I don’t know what to do and I don’t know if this kind of behavior was okay in previous relationships or not but this crossed boundaries, IS NOT OKAY WITH ME!!! I don’t care about porn, but actually paying someone, when I’m your fiancé and can get whatever for free… HURTS!!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiancé joined Onlyfans days before me giving birth to our son
I personally am not a fan of onlyfans, my husband had an account at one point in time for watching/paying for content. He no longer does. My dislike for it was expressed, and he deleted his account. The way I feel about it is if he continues to do it after your dislike for it was expressed then I’d say leave mama.
You deserve more than a man who only sees his needs and not what he has and what it’s doing to you
He knew he was disrespecting you badly and did it anyway. I’d be done with him.
Dam only fans ruining relationships left and right… watch it with him do things together
Honestly, this is my opinion and MINE alone. I believe it is unacceptable for a husband (or a man in a relationship in general) should not be giving other females money. Especially for pornographic content. He sounds gross and even worse for lying about it. But that’s what I feel about it.
And no, I will not engage in further discussion in comment section defending my answer.
It’s the lying that would do it for me. He sounds like a duche I’m sorry mama you deserve better
Create an account and see how much of a fan of onlyfans he is after you post content…
I hope you spoke to him about how much that hurts you. There is a huge difference between watching porn and paying for personal videos from only fans.
If he cannot respect you than you need to find someone who will. Trust me, not all men will discount your feelings like that.
He paid for a subscription to someone
What cheap H O E only charges $16…Sleezy
The fact he won’t tell you what it is. There is other stuff there but if it was something else he would say
Yeaaaa,I wouldn’t deal with that. My I also have past trauma from my ex husband with stuff like this,porn addiction and then he physically cheated on me. I will not tolerate it in a relationship. The fact that he lied about it even tho you have proof,I’d walk away. What else is he lying about ???,
OnlyFans is basically pornhub but more personal. You can communicate with the sellers and request custom content. I have an Onlyfans. And it’s great money honestly, I’d recommend it to anyone as a side hustle! But with that being said, I wouldn’t have done it if my partner wasn’t 100% okay with it. It breaks my heart when I see that peoples partners are going behind their backs to pay for content. Because it’s not “just” porn. It’s more personal, and intimate then that.
About the transaction. If it was a single transaction it was probably a subscription to her page. Based on the low amount it was for it was probably a subscription. I can’t say how long that subscription is because everyone charges a different amount starting at $5 and going up from their. I’d say it could be anywhere from a 1 month to a 3 month subscription. Or he tipped her a small amount for something. They do charge tax as well.
If you have any questions, feel free to message me privately! I don’t mind trying to help in anyway I can and I’m truly sorry you’re going through this.
There are lots of sites that require you to pay for access to content. It could have been a subscription fee to access the girls content. Creating an account is free, true, but it’s not free to view everyone’s stuff. Either way it’s still just porn. If him paying for porn is the problem ask him not to pay for it, there are a number of free sites. Personally, if you don’t have an issue with porn, I think you’re reading too much into the situation. However it’s the lying about it after being asked that’s the real issue.
My only thing with only fans is the fact that porn is free, why waste money when you can watch free.
I don’t care about porn but paying someone for sexual content. I would be livid too.
I dont wanna comment if its right or wrong. But onlyfans is subscription based for the most part so he just subscribed to a girls page for that much id say. Not paid for her to specifically do anything for him.
The issue I have with this he made an account before she gave birth and paid another woman for a form of pleasure. Anywho one should NOT be looking at other women after their woman have birth to their child! How rude and disrespectful sacrifice their body only to feel like complete crap because their man rather look at other women. Idc if he is releasing himself he can do that with her next to him and or please each other .
Happened to me too and I left
I would not be okay with this , but I’d definitely communicate and explain how you feel and if the behavior stops it might be worth a shot to mend your relationship .
Regardless of everyone else’s opinions if it crossed your lines/boundaries then it wasn’t okay.
Have an open/honest discussion with him about it and see how you feel and if you feel your trust can be gained again.
Onlyfans is more than sexually based content… maybe hes getting nitting lessons or learning about another culture? I’ve seen stranger things happen
This is an addiction. Until he chooses to get clean and possibly get help he probably won’t quit.
It’s really just the “new” porn. I understand you not liking it. Have a long talk with him. Express your feelings. I don’t see it as any different than porn sites other than it cost money. The lie is crappy. He should have just said it was porn and then you tell him how you felt. The lie is the problem
You can look at his subscriptions and itll show you. I’ve been through it before, ma. Im so sorry you’re experiencing this🥺
I wouldn’t have an issue with him using free stuff for whatever. But he lied about it so I’d believe that he’s done worse so your call I’d leave his lying ass
I feel like only fans is more personal than just regular porn. You legit subscribe to people and pay people to give you what you want (I think??). It’s a deal breaker for me for sure. But also the fact he lied, nope. Bye buddy.
Then leave. Sorry. But crying because YOU picked a POS won’t fix anything.
I’d be rethinking my relationship. It would be one thing if he owned up to it after I confronted him. But him lying and then saying he didn’t know what it was? Yea, that’s a hell no from me.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. No matter what you decide to do, whether be stay or move on, this is something that should be discussed before a relationship gets serious, not just this situation but boundaries, definitions and expectations . If anything would be considered a deal breaker in a relationship for you then you should 100% discuss that BEFORE it happens and before you get serious.
I I wouldn’t be impressed I’d go make my own account and get his money back for him. See how much he likes it then lol. Unless he’s actively seeking to meet up or have sex with these women it’s kind of no different then going to a store and buying a porno mag but to each their own
Only fans isn’t free . He paid for access to someone’s page is all and it can be anything from P orn to how to videos it’s definitely something you need to talk about if it’s something your are against but he also should 100% have to change something he likes or enjoys because of your insecurities, he does need to respect you or leave or y’all need to come to agreement where everyone is happy
Have you ever had conversations with him about how you feel about porn? It sounds to me like you’re OK with porn in general just not paid services. Whether or not you’ve discussed it is important because if you’ve never talked about it or made a distinction between regular porn (I don’t know how to refer to it) and only fans the situation is different than if he knew how you felt and disregarded it. We can only expect people to respect our boundaries if we define them.
Either way he initially lied to you. That’s a problem too. Lying is something that is a hard limit in my relationship. I’m not sure that knowing the specifics of what he paid to see is going to be helpful to you. The bottom line is you feel disrespected when he does that and won’t tolerate it. Only you can decide if you can forgive him this time or if once was enough.
I’d Make one and target him and get him too subscribe
Make an only fan’s just to piss him off. Men go crazy for women with milk titties seriously. Maybe it will open his eyes when the situation is reversed.
Onlyfans isn’t ONLY nsfw content. Thats just what it’s most known for.
F that you deserve better!
Did he just do this once?
Id say, open the account and let me see. Not that i wanna see, but it will show a lot by what he choses to do next.
You are correct to be upset!! He crossed a line!
Stay. He’s never going to betray you again. You guys will live happily ever after.
He knows exactly what it was and it won’t change.
So not only did he cross a boundary (that I’m assuming y’all talked about before hand since you know that he wouldn’t be ok with you making an account) but he is also gas lighting you and lying. That emotional abuse and signs of an addiction sis. Time to set some hard boundaries.
My ex husband (married for 10 years) had a porn addiction. It didn’t bother me that he watched porn, but when we would literally just finish making love, I caught him in the next room masturbating to it. This happened several times until I addressed it with him and told him how much it hurt my feelings and self esteem. My current husband watches porn WITH me (we both enjoy it) but we have clear boundaries I made because of my horrible experience with my ex. In a way it’s made us closer, and more comfortable with wanting to try new and exciting things together. Please don’t take him denying everything as an answer, it does nothing but cause heartache and mental warfare on yourself.
Girl, play his game right back.
Make an onlyfans and then let him guess what your content is!
The fact he denied it until he couldnt means he knows exactly what he did was crossing a boundary in your relationship if you want to try and salvage the relationship you can try counseling because being a single parent isnt easy but if he wont go you should leave him because it shows he isnt willing to even try and change and sees nothing wrong with what he did and he will just get sneakier about it. If he does go to therapy with you that doesnt automatically mean everything will be better or even that he will stop and never hurt you again but it at least gives you two a chance to fix things if both parties are trying to fix it. If he doesnt try just as much if not more than you though the relationship is already over even if you stay in it
I know what you have been through. My ex did similar stuff to me. Better?
It’s all cheating when you lust for someone who is not your partner that is a serious lack of loyalty
Make yourself a page. he would love it. On a serious note, leave girl. It don’t get better. He don’t respect your boundaries. Especially since you are cool with regular free porn.
Shit. I’d make an only fans and get my bag.
Girl I feel you I found out that while in the hospital with my oldest my baby daddy had actually taken off when I was sleeping to party with a group of girls because he called my “best friend” while gone
Same thing happened to me but we are married and it wasn’t right before I gave birth but after I got upset at all that I asked him to delete it and he did
I’m sorry you have to deal with this . It’s hard to give any advice . Everyone makes mistakes and does stupid things , this is a bit over the top to be swept under the rug. My friend had an issue with her man and they went to couples counseling and he got a flip phone . But if someone has the intent of changing, they will, but if someone has the intent on lusting over others, they will find a way. It’s too much work to constantly monitor someone . You deserve better than that and I hope you find it
You were letting him watch porn online anyway so him paying for it isnt much of a difference
I don’t understand the difference between that and porn.
Did you guys ever talk about that not being okay with you before? Cuz if not how would he know? And why are you okay with porn but not that? Would it have been better if he paid for porn videos vs someone’s onlyfans
I’m pretty sure only fans took of the naked stuff.
1,000% not okay!! I would flip tf out! Men are gonna look at other females, I have came to accept this but to pay someone for nudes or whatever is a whole nother level. There are so many pages on fb with half naked girls so that should be enough for anybody to look at, so PAYING someone in particular is especially f’d up!
According to my brother that amount usually sis how much a subscription is
Unless you are married he is just a “boy” friend. Sorry for your pain
I mean it’s like looking at porn which is totally normal.
he might not be ready for marriage yet…
You already know know what to do… if you believed him you wouldn’t be asking strangers opinions
Let me get this straight, he used your phone to check his account and you went snooping and now you’re mad?
He’s showing you who he really is, don’t marry him…
What can you actually get for $16? I don’t mean this in a rude way, I would be livid too! But wtf is some cheap B selling for $16?!? Lmfao
Make an only fans and get the same amount of money given to u and then deny it until u can’t like he did since he like playing games. Naw if u can’t forgive and forget then carry on with your life. Don’t stay then accuse him of it for the next 5 yrs like some of these chicks do.
Apparently a monthly subscription is $4.99-$49.99. Maybe he has a $15 monthly subscription.
You’re saying you “don’t care about porn” but onlyfans IS for porn. What he paid for would have been a subscription for someone’s self produced porn. People don’t go on only fans to cheat or foster relationships… they go there for porn. People who produce content on there aren’t there to steal peoples men, they’re there to post content and get paid for it, that’s it. It’s porn, not tinder or a dating site.
It’s really no different than watching p*rn. Probably wanted to see something specific, sometimes you pay for specifics. It’s not a huge deal. We don’t flirt or interact with them at all in the field. Strictly providing service.
Kick him to the curb. You deserve better!
I personally don’t see a problem subscriptions are cheaper and more expensive than that. It’s practically just porn. It’s not like he is going out and getting laid by someone he knows or something .
I’d say give him the benefit of the doubt because it’s not only nudes BUT the fact that he lied and acted like he didn’t know what it was says he knew what he was doing wasn’t right to you AT ALL
So he paid someone for what? It’s on the web right? Not real life? Maybe he tipped someone for putting on a sexy show for him. Would you be appalled if he went to a strip club and tipped a dancer? It’s not like he paid someone to have sex with him.
Create an account for lactation content (honestly a big fetish) but hide your face. Bring in that money to pay a lawyer if you feel you can’t mend what’s broken.
Get over it. It isn’t worth it. Give him a taste of his own medicine and make sure he knows about it in detail.That’s the only way men ever really learn.
After my ex did this, and I found out, any time he asked for nudes I sent him a $20 request on cash app. He didn’t too much like that.
I broke up with him cuz he started beating my ass, but 6 months later made an OF account of my own and I’m doing quite alright.
I know it’s not advice or even helpful but maybe funny enough to make you smile.
Some of these comments make me sick to my stomach.
That might just be her subscription cost. You can’t actually pay someone for s ex. Not on OF. It won’t even let you put the word “meet” in a message.
Is it any worse then what will happen at his bachelor party? Calm down.
I cant believe some of these disgusting comments. Keep pressing the issue and don’t just let him get by with it.
I’d say if she’s only worth 16.05, he’s in trouble but it’s probably not what you think
I wouldn’t worry much longer since the porn will be no longer available soon!
Sounds like you just wanna get on only fans to make some $$, now you have the excuse to do it!! Get to it baby mama!!!
Time to plan your way out. He’s a liar cheater. Porn is one thing paying for it is another
Could it have been his friend on his phone or with his card?? My husband and I had that happen! One of his friends tried looking up stuff on his phone like only fans and girls and my hubby didn’t know that’s what he was doing! It caused some problems between him and I until the situation was cleared up. If it’s never happened before I would sit him down and have a conversation with him about how you feel and how that for you makes you uncomfortable! Lay down the boundaries for you and if he loves you and respects you he’ll hopefully apologize but at the least change his behavior!
He is a piece of shit in my opinion
If you can login into his email and he should have a link to his sub somewhere if he used that email. From there you should just be able to click the link and it will open it. That’s how I did it.
Paying another woman’s bills. That’s a deal breaker for me. I’m so sorry
I saw that recently they banned porn so idk if that’s what he actually is looking but I definitely would leave bcs why is he lying if he’s clearly doing kt
You dont have to say “I dont care about porn” bc you might think others will start bad mouthing you about your feelings. I personally HATE porn. I think it is SO wrong. I consider it cheating. I dont understand how people DONT consider it cheating especially if they consider flirting cheating. It promotes false expectations and sex trafficking. Everything it stands for is awful. Its also considered a new drug so people with addictions to it might have a hard time quitting. It takes YEARS to be able to quit viewing that stuff. It has ruined my last marriage and previous relationships. I am now happily remarried. You really have to think if you can deal with it or not. Bc no matter how many times they say they arnt or they will stop… it takes YEARS. So its a lie. He might be feeling embarrassed and a lot of shame so he doesnt want to tell you. Maybe talk with him calmly and tell him you already know that it was him so you would just like him to be honest. Tell him how it makes you feel exactly. Ask him how you can help him and literally ask him 5 times in a row did he do it? Calmly though if he says no… then say let me ask again… did you do it? Do that 5 times to show him that you KNOW and he will eventually come clean… then just go from there.
Porn. IS. PORN. Men look at woman. Woman look at woman. I’m sorry but I’ve had almost every relationship end because they cheated in anyway. He lied though so that’s a different thing. But everyone looks. Watch together? Experiment?
Bruh. It’d be one thing if he owned up and apologized. But this shit? Peace the fk out!
Some of these comments need to reevaluate their worth
Bounce that ring off his head! If you will accept this BEFORE marriage you’ll accept more after. Make that mother fucker RESPECT you as the mother of his child
Follow your instincts. You nor your son deserve to be lied to and disrespected. Most of us women try to make light of these lies before we get married and then we pay the price when the behavior continues. Suggest to go to a marriage counselor and take it from there. Good luck.
Make a page for yourself! He should be okay with it, if it’s innocent and nothing inappropriate
Lmao your internalized misogyny is showing. It’s okay for him to watch porn for free but not actually compensate the women in the porn he’s watching?? GTFO with that nonsense.
Gross… why would anyone pay for something like OF when there’s loads of free porn on the internet… I mean single desperados aside… they can do whatever they want but when you’re in a relationship… that’s just disgusting. Especially if your partner is about to or has just given birth… wtf. Get rid of the selfish lying pos.
Nope. No coming back from this one. He betrayed you completely and then lied about it until the proof was in his face. He’s still not owning up to it entirely. If he wants to get off on other women, free or not, kick his ass to the curb. There are plenty of men out there who won’t do that shit. Your boundaries deserve to be respected. You cross my boundaries in a relationship or choose to go behind my back and seek out that nasty shit, we are done.