My fiance left and told me he wasn't in love with me anymore: Advice?

Really looking for some support here… my fiance of 3 years left me n his son last night … he said he is no longer in love but will always love me. He isn’t happy anymore … Idk what to do. I’m hoping he will come back with some space, but he took his things n left his ring :sob::sob::broken_heart: idk looking for some advice or support, I guess

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Give him couple days then try to call him and see him if y’all can meet somewhere talk in private. See whats really going on.

Honestly :woman_shrugging:t3: my fiance left me and said the same…took the rings too :sweat_smile::rofl: but then came crawling back 2 months later :woman_shrugging:t3: byy then it was just too late in my case :woman_shrugging:t3: I’m happier now…by far

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Ignore him guys like the chase once he realizes your good without him he will be the one to come back and probably by that time you’ll be over it. Women take it the hardest at first men do later. Don’t call him or look for him if he calls for the child put the child on then hang up. Good luck

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H

He left his son??

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Don’t call, he left. If he wants to talk he will contact you, but don’t but at his beck and call, either. Give space. If the son is his, wait a good week or 2, don’t start drama, it will hurt the son, if he is his, if he is not then don’t bother. Love one sided hurts more, and takes more time to heal.

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He did you a favor. My ex husband waited til we were married for 6 months to say he wanted a divorce. Could’ve saved my parents $12k and a whole lot of energy by just being a man about how he felt. And now I have a man that treats me 1000x better. I hate to sound cliche, but things happen for a reason.

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Leave him to it if he thinks grass is greener on that side, dont beg don’t chase.

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No matter what always keep your head up & remember your worth :purple_heart: #inGodshands

He has a new piece of ass. Don’t kiss his ass. Take your time to grieve but let him go.

Sorry to say but he’s probably cheating. Don’t call him. Don’t act like it bothers you. Like the other person said they like to be chased

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Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s an act. Both parties have to choose daily to love the other person! Saying he fell out of love is an excuse and shows he is not willing to work for the relationship. I’ve been with my husband 10 years, married 8, and there have been seasons where I didn’t like him all that much and he didn’t like me all that much but when we decided to choose love it turned that around. If he wants to be with you and his son he will choose to be with y’all! If you were once happy, you can be happy again. Love is a choice!!

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Hes getting some pussy and attention from somewhere else. Don’t wait for him to realize his mistake and come back! Find somebody who won’t abandon you again.

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Move on. U shouldnt settle for anyone who could walk away like that. There are better men out there, i swear it

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Let him go and never take him back!! He’s getting it somewhere else

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I wish you peace in this situation. Im sorry he left you, but I suggest you take this time to heal yourself and connect with your son. Take all the hurt and disappointment you have and make it into determination to form yourself into the strongest version of yourself. You will come out of this.

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If he’s not invested now, he sure as heck wasn’t the guy to marry. Not unless he totally and completely figures some stuff out for himself. Lacking in maturity. This sounds harsh, but he let you know who he really is before it was too late. When somebody shows you who they really are, believe em. Don’t make them keep showing you over and over. Become comfortable spending time by yourself so that you don’t become dependent on anyone else to make you happy. And pray. Pray a lot. God never fails, and everything works out according to His will.

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He showed you his colors move on

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Whatever you do don’t beg him to come back. Move on and leave him alone. He’ll realize what he’s lost and that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. And when he tries to come back you can decide if that’s what’s best for you or not. But begging him to stay won’t do any good.

Okay, just cause he left doesn’t mean he was cheating. Jesus Christ. Some of you women think WAY too low of men. Don’t assume he is/was cheating. It sounds like he just doesn’t know how a long relationship actually works. You will NEVER be 100% in love with the same person ALL THE TIME. The point of a relationship and commitment is you fall back in love with the same person over and over. My husband and I have been together for 7 years, 8 years if we didn’t separate the first year we started dating. He could be feeling a lot of pressure with a lot of things and you could have been the wrong scapegoat. Don’t hold your hand over your ass and wait. Start healing and be the best momma you can be, BUT do not start assuming wild shit cause sexist, insecure women online think lowly of men. Right now, you need to build yourself back up. Relearn your independence. Relearn YOURSELF. When you spend so long with someone, you gain a codependency in said person. So the hardest part, being on your own again. You’ll start to remember how strong and amazing of a mom you are on your own. You have my support <3 and if you need ANYONE to talk to, you can message me for a shoulder to lean on! <3 you got this. You were without him before, you can be without him again and even stronger this time!

Why worry abt him n I bet u can do alot better than being w/him!
Jst take care of yrself n go to wrk n njoy yr life! U cnt wait n waste yr life!

We cannot control how others feel about us. Its sad but its true. Move on. Being pretty doesnt keep a man, not even being a good woman keeps a man. He will only stay if he wants to.

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He left you , not your son ,

He doesnt want to be in the relationship and you shouldn’t force feelings , you deserve someone who wants you as much as you want them its gonna hurt , and hurt bad , but don’t let your feelings get in the way of both of you being good parents

Hold your self high beautiful and go through the motions , let your self feel the hurt and come out of this strong so that one day a man will have to show you how much he loves you and you will be showered with love . Xxx

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I know its easier said than done but burn that bridge other than letting the son see his dad. Dont let him come back with the im sorries and I was wrongs. There is always someone better out there if the one you are with doesnt think they can be there anymore

He did you a favor. Get up and keep moving forward. With time it will be better. Everything will work out. Concentrate on your son and you.

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Time to move on. He told you how he feels and it’s time to accept that it’s over. Co-parent your son with your ex and focus on yourself. Wishing and hoping he’ll come back will just tie up your heart and leave you hurt in the long run.

Things will get better, it’s hard right now but it will get better.

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Move on.Let your son be in his life.But if it was that easy for him to just leave then trust and believe he had something to go too.If he did it this time he will more then likely repeat his actions.Save yourself the repeated heartbreak. HOLD YOUR HEAD UP AND FIND YOU SOMEONE WHO WILL APPRECIATE YOU.

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Don’t let him back in ! He is up to no good he is cheating on you. Can’t you see it ? He is LUSTING with someone and i mean LUST NOT LOVE ! Believe me when he gets what he wants and the thrill is over and he comes back to EARTH, he WILL be coming back to you ! You need to stay STRONG CAUSE HE WILL DO IT AGAIN ! Plus you need to find a guy that truly LOVES YOU ! and won’t leave you . IF you take him back you will always be thinking if or when he might do it again. THAT’S NOT THE WAY TO LIVE ! DON’T BE A PENDEJA! Sorry but he’s a CULO !

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If he left that quick this time he will again next time. Don’t let him get that second chance. Like the lady said it will hurt bad and you will get past it. Hugs

Sometimes people fall out of love, I hope he gave u reasons or will soon, he sounds like he isn’t mr right for u, don’t beg him to come back just deal with ur pain it will get better in time, focus on being a mum let him contact ur son and visa versa, he will probably regret it later on and u will have moved on, dont stay with someone who just walks out and hurts u and wants to come back again to only do it again, maybe he needed a break but if that was the case he should of said that not leave, he must have is reasons but its not ur fault lady and hopefully he will give his reasons if he hasn’t already, you will be ok, be strong momma xx

When you say you don’t know what to do… don’t do anything. The universe will do it for you. You will be happy again. Just be good to yourself and your son. X

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Love yourself and your baby and build both of your lives together take extra pride in yourself.your a Queen and hes probably moved on why he left just don’t waste your time on him.Go well

You leave and dont look back. Show your son what real love is and love yourself and him. Cry if you need to but pick yourself up and move on :two_hearts:

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Honestly just blow him off, he wants you to chase after him. I went through this too, don’t chase him it will make you look desperate. If he contacts you about his kid then keep it civil and don’t let him see how much you hurt.

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Best advice is “its ok to move on”

Bye bye. Count your blessings and get child support

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It may be hard right now, but at least it was before you all actually got married-divorces are so expensive, trust me! But just give him the space and start to recover and and do what you need to do to take care of you and yours! :heart: prayers for you! You got this!

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Get a job, go to school, maje new friends

Be strong :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: You got this momma. Time heals everything :orange_heart: You guys will find the man y’all deserve

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I think he did the best thing now, imagine him doing this 5 years from now. You will heal from this, be good to yourself, maybe get a massage, know your worth!

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Allow yourself to feel what you feel. You can cry. You can scream. But don’t keep him away from your son. Obviously I don’t know the full story but just because he left you doesn’t mean he left his son. If he still wants to be involved, and he’s not abusive, don’t keep your son away to be petty just because he left you. Like I said before, let yourself feel all your emotions. Don’t hold them in because then you might start resenting him. Grieve your loss and then find a way to get pst your feelings and work on co parenting and/or moving on.

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How long have you been engaged? If he asked you to marry him and is suddenly not in love with you anymore there might be someone else in the picture…

Put on your big Girl Panties… you have a child to raise…

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Sorry love :heart: but fck him. Get your hair and nails done, get that child support going , and stay on fleek for you and your son :heart::heart::slightly_smiling_face:

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Thank god he left and take time to find inner peace for yourself.

You said you don’t know what to do. And hunny that is more then OK. For right now don’t do anything other then love your son, and yourself. If and when your ready, find a saport group, or a counselor, or a best friend to talk to. It’s ok to cry, scream get mad, all of it. Try to find a healthy outlet.

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if u wd have asked me 20 years ago i wd probably say give him time, but hell no, now, after 15 years of hell, that i know time doesn’t change a dog, i tell u dont waste yours w a man like that! he will do it again and again for as long as u tolerate it. i think the biggest challenge for them is doing it the 1st time.after that they lose all fear bcz they know ull take them back. ur baby dsnt need this. let hom be a dad to ur child, but he doesn’t need to be ur man for that. u deserve better

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Is second the ignore him comment. Give him a chance to miss you.

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Same thing happened to me 4 years ago. Honestly looking back on it. It hurt but I’m much better now. Dont text him or beg. Us woman are better than begging for our happiness. You be happy and be there for your son. Dont take your man back just do you and your son until your happy :slight_smile: then one day if it’s right for you and your son move on. But dont go “looking” for love. Love will find you when it’s time :slight_smile: I wish you the best and you got this girly

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When my kids father left the best thing i did was explain to my child that dad deserved to be happy too … And that We were not his happiest happy … It was me and her vs the world until we found someone that vould make us our happiest happy too

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Well you get lawyer and set up support and custody, if you need a job start looking and for child care, any utilities need to be switched, do you need to apply for assistance, make sure he didn’t take off with kiddos papers, if he did you need replacements, take time to grieve the relationship and the end of this chapter!

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Cry it out
And focus on finding itself again
Focus on being the best mommy
Better that he didn’t drag it on and just ended it
Easier for u to left go and heal
I’m sorry about what happened
Get ur child support

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Move on, dont take him back, go after him for support.

Have a cry if needed, then pull yourself together and go on raising your kid without him.

You do need support. Your heart is broken. And you probably didn’t see it coming. No amount of comforting words will make it better. You just have to work through it. Time heals. Like someone else said “give him time to miss you” but don’t bank on his coming back because that gives you misplaced hope. And all you’ll be doing is delaying the inevitable. Do you really want this unreliable man in your life? Or do you want to take your chance at meeting a caring reliable man to be with you forever. May you find strength to do the right thing.

You can’t force anyone to love you or be with you. You have to let him go and know in your heart that you will find better. Someone who can’t live without you, I’m sorry your hurting, it’s a pain that hurts deep. Be thankful this didn’t come a decade down the road after youve spent a large portion of your life with. Now you will have more time with the one that’s right for you. Good luck :heart:

I’ve been in your exact situation, me and my ex husband got separated in 2018, he left me and my kids because of another woman. We were married for 11 years, and 4 years of togetherness being boyfriend/girlfriend way back then. To sum up, we’ve been together for such a long time cos believe or not he was my 1st and last boyfriend until marriage. But circumstances really changed. I got so down and depressed to a point that I wanted to take my own life. Luckily I was saved by my family and genuine friends. It’s really painful to be betrayed and cheated on. But when you finally realize your worth, it’ll be easy for you to handle that nightmare. And I’m so proud to share it with you guys that I’m living more peacefully and happily for over a year with my two angels. #selflove #selfcare
I know you can do it girl :facepunch: it may be hard at first, but God is with you. He will never leave us especially in these trying times. I am praying for your peacefulness and happiness :heart:

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Pray about it and give him space. Remember if you set something and comes back it’s yours if not it never was​:heart: just try to find peace in the situation :heart:

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The best you can do is to make best of the situation and keep going for the little one.

Husband left me after 32 yrs ,how you get over that

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Goodluck. Give him space and time. Try 2 move on urself maybe him seeing u happy will bring him back. If hes really not happy though trapping him in a relationship isn’t good 4 the baby. Staying with someone just because they had ur kids isn’t a good reason. Again goodluck. Prayers.

So here it is… anyone who thinks that one is “in love” every day of a relationship, is delusional. He is more centered on himself than on you or his child. He is using the in love excuse to justify his inability to be a father and partner. Move forward for the sake of your child. He will prob be a deadbeat dad. Prob has already hooked up with another sucker that will fall for his bs. Stay strong don’t be the victim.

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Atleast he was honest and didn’t ghost you, I hate that even more

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Mourn the loss of what you thought you had. Don’t stay there long. You, and your child deserves better. You will come out stronger. If he can do this now, he will do it again.

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Let him go. It’s not worth the fight. I’ve been there done that and now I face divorce. Mine used this same excuse. Ends up he was cheating. Focus on you and your child. Go out with friends and do something for yourself. Easier said than done, I know. Took me a good year to feel human again.

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There’s obviously someone else

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No offense but someone that WANTS to marry you isn’t your fiance for 3 years. Also, there is nothing you can do beside heal and move on. He made his decision. Focus on your son.

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If he feels this way after 3 years, what do you think he’d be like after 30?

For stsrters. If you’re someone’s fiance for 3 years, they don’t want to marry you.
And if he left saying he’s not in love with you anymore let him go theres probably somebody else.

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What a fucking pussy.
People don’t always stay in love, constantly for 50 years. You gotta ride the rough patches and work at it. First sign of “I dunno” and he’s thrown in the towel?
Unless there’s something else going on here, I’m calling bullshit and I’m
Sorry he’s done that to you.
But I feel like you’ve dodged a bullet.

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Look up the clip by Madea-Let them Go

Move on like there are no regrets.

Check and make sure the door was locked behind him

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Sounds like he has someone else :persevere:

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Sounds like he has being feeling this way for a while as you don’t fall out of love that fast. It’s time to move on as hard as it sounds as you still have a child together ect but it seems like he doesn’t want to come back as he has left his ring that’s his way for saying it’s fully over. Don’t start getting worried and questioning what you did or if there is someone else it’s probably not the case and it just happened a sometimes in life. At least he give you the respect by just leaving and not cheating ect. I know he’s done with you but let him have contact with his son. Get some rest and take care xxx

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Be careful…sometimes they come back after they realize what they lost and how good they had it!

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Sounds like it wasn’t what he wanted, grief the relationship and worry about your son only thing you can do.

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Give yourself time to be sad, get mad, then move on woman. Something better is gonna come your way. :heart:

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So sorry that you have to go through this. Cry, grieve the relationship, go through your motions. It will hurt but when he come back, which he will, be strong enough to not take him back, especially if the way he did things was messed up and unwarranted. Take time to focus on yourself and bettering yourself. You might not get over anytime soon honestly, but when he sees you act like you have no care in the world and look your best.

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Better now than a few years and more kids

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Im sorry that happend but why would you want someone back that told you he wasnt in love with you anymore,I would be questioning everyday if he was in love which would drive me crazy…it would be hard to move on but don’t get ur hopes up and be waiting around …focus on ur self and ur kid…it was his choose to leave him family …don’t punishment urself.good luck.

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Move on. Cant force love. And dont let him come back if he decides he made a mistake. This is a ticket for him to go get laid. He obviously has someone else.

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file for child support and don’t sign any legal document before your lawyer and/ or children services reviews it.

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:notes:Woo, girl, need to kick off your shoes
Gotta take a deep breath, time to focus on you
All the big fights, long nights that you been through
I got a bottle of tequila I been saving for you.
Boss up and change your life
You can have it all, no sacrifice
I know he did you wrong, we can make it right
So go and let it all hang out tonight.
Cos if he don’t love you anymore,
Just walk your fine ass out the door :notes:

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Hate the love you, not in love with you line. What difference does that make? Just. Go.

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Say bye-bye plus plus for you

He told you the truth…it hurts but at least you didn’t marry him…honey move on if someone says they are not in love with you then it’s time to move on…I’m so sorry…

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First thing you better do is go to court and start getting child support. Don’t let him talk you into oh I’ll give you x amount of money each month…

Damn…where’s the post for the “spell caster”when you need it!
But seriously, once they say that…it’s done!

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You can’t make him love you so might as well move on now

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My guy had said that to me … When a girl was showing interest. He left for 3 weeks. And came back realizing alot. Not all will come back… Or should be allowed to come back. Dont ever force or beg. It may hurt but be a blessing in disguise.

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He’s made it clear he doesn’t want you or what your offering babe move on and do you and your child xxx

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Stop looking to social media for relationship advice

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First line of advice is keep it off social media

My husband did that to me when he met another girl he was interested in. A month later he came back and we have been stronger than ever. Just give it time and see what happens. Dont beg him to come back or anything and live your best lofe in the mean time

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An asshole is an asshole. Unfortunately cant change a person. You’re better off without him

Why do you want him back? He literally threw you and the kid to the side.
Don’t be a second choice.

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Focus on you and that baby. Get all the love you need from your baby and just keep trucking on girlfriend. I know it must hurt but throw yourself completely into motherhood and do not look back.

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This happened to me in January. We had a 5 week old baby. I concentrated on myself and my children, scream, cry, shout, be angry and be annoyed but never doubt yourself. It’s HIS loss not yours xxxx

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