QUESTION:
"My fiancé’s boss gave him a card addressed to both of us with six gift cards. One to Amazon, visa gift card, buy baby, and three to restaurants. He was going to keep them all, but I said no, they are for the baby, and us explaining that it’s probably meant to buy food for us while we are home caring for the baby. He also didn’t give me the card to even look at. He did take a picture. Also, I will be home for six weeks and not able to go out much in that time for food. It’ll have to be delivered. He thinks that giving me two food cards and the baby store card and keeping the other three for himself is okay. I feel that since I have bought all the baby stuff, and I mean all of it(he paid me back half) that he should give them to me to use for formula and diapers and food when the baby is first coming home. I think it’s okay for us to use the food cards on a meal for us both, but for him to think they are just for him to use seems wrong to me. He feels I am totally wrong. We cannot agree, so I need advice. He says he’s going to spend them on him and his kids from his previous marriages and that I can use the ones he gave me on my kids or my family. Who is right? Are they for us both? Is it fair for him to take half for just him? I also need to mention that I am sacrificing six weeks of pay and my job for our baby while he gets to go back to work and will be paid the entire time even when he’s home with me for the first week. He still expects me to pay half of all the bills during this time."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Those gift cards are for the baby. Not for him alone or his children from a previous marriage alone. He sounds selfish to be honest."
"Wow making you pay half the bills when you’re on maternity leave? Sounds like a roommate not a fiancé"
"This is messed up already. If this is how he views things you might as well go your separate way now. He clearly doesn't see you all as one."
"The cards are for a BABY! Diapers, clothes, whatever BABY needs. The restaurant cards are for the two of you to share, so you or him has a night off from cooking."
"If you’re together, there is no “your kids, my kids” in my opinion. All the kids would be “ours” regardless if they are biological or not…"
"They are for the baby. Why in the world would he think they are for him. They are meant to be used on things for the newest addition. And he needs to get out of the mindset of his and your kids. You are together it should be our kids."
"He is totally in the wrong. And I know it's hard to hear especially from strangers but I would rethink the relationship. Best of luck and congratulations on your little one."
"You guys are one. Fighting over his & hers already isn’t good. Lean on each other, ask for help, and be ONE."
"Oh, & marrying him WON'T change his behaviors. In fact, it will probably get even worse. I'm sorry but I hope you walk away and y'all can just co-parent if he makes no changes."
"Those are meant for baby and to make your life easier for meals once baby is here, not for his selfish wants."
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