My fiancé’s boss gave him a card addressed to both of us with six gift cards. One to Amazon, visa gift card, buy baby, and three to restaurants. He was going to keep them all, but I said no, they are for the baby, and us explaining that it’s probably meant to buy food for us while we are home caring for the baby. He also didn’t give me the card to even look at. He did take a picture. Also, I will be home for six weeks and not able to go out much in that time for food. It’ll have to be delivered. He thinks that giving me two food cards and the baby store card and keeping the other three for himself is okay. I feel that since I have bought all the baby stuff, and I mean all of it(he paid me back half) that he should give them to me to use for formula and diapers and food when the baby is first coming home. I think it’s okay for us to use the food cards on a meal for us both, but for him to think they are just for him to use seems wrong to me. He feels I am totally wrong. We cannot agree, so I need advice. He says he’s going to spend them on him and his kids from his previous marriages and that I can use the ones he gave me on my kids or my family. Who is right? Are they for us both? Is it fair for him to take half for just him? I also need to mention that I am sacrificing six weeks of pay and my job for our baby while he gets to go back to work and will be paid the entire time even when he’s home with me for the first week. He still expects me to pay half of all the bills during this time.
He’s an asshole and being controlling. You don’t specify how long you two have been together but I can guarantee this behavior from him will only worsen. This may seem small right now, but to me it’s a red flag and I’d be reconsidering marrying him.
The common issue I’m seeing on both sides of the fence is you guys are more worried about halving every expense there is. If you purchase the bulk for the baby why worry about him paying you “half” back. Just like it doesn’t make sense for you to have to make sure you’re paying half the bills during the time you’re meant to recover from having his baby. I absolutely don’t think he should have any of the gift cards for himself. I find it incredibly selfish. They’re meant for the baby not him. If anything you guys need to have a serious talk on where priorities lie at. This will cause more issues down the road if he can’t see eye to eye and reverse. It’s about being a team, sometimes you have to take one for the teams which he needs to do while you recover. I find it absurd to hold an expectation over you about income during that time.
Call. His. Boss.
You’re not in the wrong at all, his behavior is incredibly selfish and self centered. There’s no easy way to have the conversation that y’all should have unfortunately but he needs to be told that those cards were not purchased for his children from a previous relationship, they were purchased for y’all to use for the baby you’re pregnant with. He should also be told that he’s being a selfish child about it.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance thinks baby gift cards are for him to spend on himself: Advice?
whew , he’s wrong sorry !
Are the gift cards a needed item? As like you would go without had you not been given them?
You are with a BOY. Find a man or pray he grows up.
Sounds like your fiance is a selfish douche child tell him to man up, work more hours and pay the bills while you stay home and recover. Prick
Write a thank you note for the THREE gift cards!!!
Send it to his boss
You need a whole new man sister…
I have never…leave because this will get worse. What a piece of absolute dog
Omg where did you find this guy??? Throw him in the trash!
He ain’t shit period how can you be like that with you and the baby. A real jerk and selfish asshole
Are you really falling for that?
Throw the whole man away sis. Oh sorry, BOY.
Sounds like your man is a child himself…
they are for the baby and baby stuff NOT him
I’m so sorry but if he’s calling his kids his family and your kids your family then you will never be one whole family… Which you should be… Whether you were having this new baby with him or not. Good luck to you and all the children involved
And this is him while your carrying his baby? …uff girl smh
He sounds like an inconsiderate asshole honestly.
Wtf did I just read I’d punch him in the nuts . I’m so glad I have. MAN not a boy
Throw that whole damn man child in the trash and move the hell on! What a prize he is… Not!!
He’s an idiot. They are definitely not for him. Also not for his other kids. They are clearly for the new kid and the food yes is for after baby or even preplanning baby and need quick meal for you both.
He’s a selfish child that is for the needs of the baby and your family to eat some meals while you’re settling in- but he’s gonna say we are all wrong anyhow
Y’all aren’t married yet, get out while you can! Seems like he doesn’t respect your relationship as a whole because there’s still his and yours involved.
You married a moron… selfish idiot…
TELL THE BOSS!!! Embarrass that jerk you call a husband
Why do women settle for men like this I can’t comprehend it
He’s a selfish jerk!
Yea, marry him. Sounds like a keeper.
He is acting like a child. He needs to grow up ASAP or you need to move on. That’s ridiculous he is totally wrong
Sounds like you picked the wrong baby daddy.
Get out, get out while you can.
You’re Connected With A Very Immature & Self centered boy
Just throw the whole damn man away sis
Seriously hoarding gift cards to keep for himself ? What a loser
I would start stashing your own money!! And accounts.
Lock that shit down. Keep a budget and don’t go beyond your own needs. Don’t stay with him, much longer either. I will. Very honestly say that’s the beginningof the end… . You’ll only allow him to leave you HIGH AND DRY if you keep letting him do that to you…
Wtf…. Girl don’t marry this man
They exactly what they were sent for, the baby and the restaurants for you 2 to go out and have a paid meal. Hes selfish n red flags are every where
Oh no , no no no no no hell no
They were a gift to both of you, the boss intended for them to be used for baby items and like you said food for when you’re caring for a new baby. When I had my baby shower for my youngest that’s what I did with the gift cards I received I used them for baby items and someone gave me several food gift cards, those really came in handy especially when you have other children and they don’t understand why dinners not done and mommas been taking care of a baby all day. He’s wrong and selfish.
He is selfish. Get rid of him
Can we say SELFISH??? THATS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING, Talk about a turn off! Ewwwwwwwww
Get out of that relationship and let him keep the cards. Small price to pay for getting away from that small minded man child…
I bet you two don’t last after baby is born.
Those are for the baby, not him. If he wants to be petty I’d be telling him, if they are for anyone it’d be the person carrying the baby. Not the man who nutted once & thinks he deserves a prize. He sounds like a real piece of work.
Lmaoo why you on here asking this question. You know the answer leave his ass now
Those gift cards are for the baby. Not for him alone or his children from a previous marriage alone. He sounds selfish to be honest.
And like someone else said, if he’s still saying him and his kids/you and yours, you guys will never be a whole unit
Marriages plural. There is your answer.
Wow. He sounds like a grown CHILD! A MAN BABY! SELFISH!!! I’m so sorry that you ended up with those loser.
Advice: don’t marry him.
Run while you can!!!
The fact that y’all are having a child and still have “yours” and “mine” is pretty bad …
They are all for the baby and food
Seriously how old is he. So immature. Very selfish
I will not tell u to leave him or tell you what is right or wrong I will tell u honey you deserve so much better than anyone treating you this way. Sounds like he is still dividing families even though u guys r suppouse to be married . When u get married its a whole unit not your kid or his kids its our kids. He kind of seem to me to have some narcissistic traits to him. Just really thibk about what you want in your life and your children’s cuz every woman deserves to be treated like the queen they r. He should man up and say I got this while you recover. And not expect you to pay when u physically and mentally cannot work right after having a baby. Prayers and positive vibes for you and your family
Wow making you pay half the bills when you’re on maternity leave? Sounds like a roommate not a fiancé
Oh look it’s a bunch of red flags sewn into the shape of a person
Have him go talk to his boss and ask him to explain the reasons behind the gift. Guys need other people to explain stuff to them sometimes…
Girl, run. He Sounds selfish. He’s a boy, not a Man.
That’s extremely selfish of him, and a tad disturbing
You need to get rid of him
Gross. Send him back to his mom’s.
He’s completely selfish and immature. Take this as your biggest red flag to not marry him.
Wow please don’t marry that schmuck! It will literally get worse. Trust me
I guess I’m confused why your even marrying him…?
Get a new fiancé! Seriously though. That says a lot about a person
You picked the wrong guy to have a baby with! Immaturity comes to my mind!
Time to kick his butt out
Ditch the baby daddy. He obviously selfish and dont care about u and baby needs
Kick him back to his mommy’s house
Tell his boss. Good GD.
Sounds like you married a child! Gonna be raising 2 kids! I bet once the baby is born he isn’t gonna help you at all doing the dirty work of raising an infant!
Well his boss gave it to him giving you half is fair I would be happy with that you are being selfish I don’t see a problem when he helps you out and wants to do something for his other kids as well
I think you guys are both wrong to be honest. You are calling his kids “his” and your family “yours”
I feel in a committed relationship it be “ours, we, us” but that’s just me. You ALL should be a family, and those gifts cards are exactly for that.
He seems incredibly selfish, especially being a father. Baby come first.
Ahhhh! I love the smell of Narcissists in the morning. Lol
And based on these stellar attributes of his, you decided that having children would be a good idea…ugh.
The card was addressed to both of you, not just him. To use them on himself and “his children” would absolutely be selfish!! This doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship to be bringing another baby into. There shouldn’t ever be a your kids and my kids. They should be our kids, and all treated equally. I think you might need to reevaluate your relationship goals. And To expect you to pay half the bills while on maternity leave is completely ridiculous to be honest. You need a man not a another child…
At first reading this I was like “oh he’s just gonna be one of those people that doesn’t change until the baby is actually here” then you mentioned his other kids.
I wouldn’t marry that man. If you’re determined to, maybe get some couples therapy before the baby and wedding. Have him ask his boss if the gift cards were for his selfish ass or the baby.
If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck.
Honey, do you and your child a favor.
You guys should be a team. It shouldn’t be half of this and that and my kids and family and your kids and family. And yes if the gift cards are for the new baby it should be used on stuff for the baby and baby related. If this is the way it is now I can’t imagine how it will be once the baby comes he’s already separating his family from yours. And with his maturity he will never admit he is wrong.
Wow that’s messed up and selfish. Totally meant for upcoming baby and postpartum meals and care. What a prick move by him
You should’ve known how he was b4 yiu made him a father again … get rid of him he’s using yiu as a cash cow
give him back to his mama he is still a child.
Let me set the scene.
Family gives baby money for birthday, does he take that too?
Hum if he keeps the cards for himself and wants you to pay half . Then charge him half of the carrying and delivery fees. Somewhere around 30 thousand to be a seagete mother .
Throw the whole man away…m
I hope you reconsider marrying someone so selfish.
He sounds very immature
Everyone knows those gift cards go towards the new baby. Smdh
Uh no… they are for the baby! & you! He had his fun… in the making of said baby… he doesn’t get 3 gift cards wtf!?
I cannot with this mess. This has to be a joke.
Doesn’t sound like a real man, well that’s just my opinion. It sounds more like he’s selfish and doesn’t really care much because you are bearing his child and he will do whatever he can to get by with bare minimum while still worried about his own satisfaction.
I’m sorry you found out he’s an asshole while you’re pregnant. There are men out there who would be happy to do the right thing, any day.
Money should be combined and spent on you both but especially new baby…
They are sent to make things abit easier with the new baby. Should be spent on baby things plus food for you both in the early days when everyone is too tired to cook or clean. These are baby gifts not selfish asses gifts. The card probably does state for you and him for baby
hardest words to hear: if that’s what you settle for, that’s what you’ll get. he sounds delightful
He is totally self-centered. It is obvious why he has kids from PAST relationships. run girl run.
I wouldn’t marry anyone like that. That’s insane.
No no no. He’s trash. I’m so sorry to say.
You can do all that bs on your own. He’s a basket case!