I put on 60 pounds during the pandemic. I’ve lost 15 and I am not at 145. My fiancé and I have been having a lot of problems lately. He finally tells me after 7 weeks being separated but living together that he has not been attracted to me for almost 3 years, since I put on weight. So my question is, do I leave him or try to work on things. I’m going to loose the weight regardless but is he worth staying with?
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiance told me he hasn't been attracted to me since I gained weight
No don’t keep someone who loves the way you look and not you!!!
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Take that ring off and leave
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Leave him! He should love you no matter what
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Leave’em. Don’t change YOU for HIM. Find you someone that will accept you the way you are. If you wanna lose weight for yourself, cool…but don’t do it for him. There are plenty of people to love big girls!
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he should love you no matter what. not just for the way you look. he don’t deserve you.
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WALK AWAY. The fact any man would even say that shows he doesnt/never cared. Peoples bodies change ALL THE TIME. And of you can’t love your partner when they change for certain reasons you shouldn’t have them at all
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A man should love you for who you are, not what you look like. You deserve better!
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Leave him. If he can’t handle a little extra weight then he won’t be a good husband when it’s till death do us part through sickness and health
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If all he cares about is ur weight alone then he only cares about ur appearance. Anx that is not someone worth sticking around with
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If he can’t accept you at your worst he doesn’t deserve you at your best.
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Leave him sis! 
You deserve better. You’re not married yet so PLEASE remove yourself from that toxicity before you marry him. Once a man says something like that you’ll never be able to fully trust him or feel confident around him. Don’t let him drain you of your happiness.
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Nope, not worth staying.
Get rid of him if he can’t love you at your worst he doesn’t deserve you at your best
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You deserve someone who loves you for you, no matter how much you weigh. I personally couldn’t be attracted to someone with a personality like that.
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Leave. He didn’t have the decency to work on that together with you. Hey honey, let’s go to the gym, hey sweetie let’s at more healthy. He belittled you and didn’t grab your hand and say let’s do this. Then said he wasn’t attracted.
Leave his ass!! A real man will love every bit of ur body. He sounds like an asshole to me. Tell him to go find someone else hes attracted to then. Youll lose the wieght but his ass aimt gettin nun from u nomore. He dont deserve it
Leave. His love for you should not fluctuate like weight can.
If you have to ask, you already know. Godspeed.
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Leave him and get a revenge body and find someone better!
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Leaveeee!!! Cause wtf he probably has a little peepee anywayyy!!!
Simple math. How much does he weigh? That is the appropriate amount to lose. 
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You need a new fiancé.
I believe that if he can’t love you when you’re not feeling your lowest, why does he get to love you when you’re working on yourself??? He either loves all of you all the time, or bye 
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Hes not worth it girl. Lose the weight and glow ur damn self. Your a babe weather he sees it or not there is someone out there who will!!!
If he can’t love you the way you are now he won’t love you at the right weight in his mind there will be other problems that he wants you to fix kick his ass to the curb and work on you being you 
Leave him,lose weight because you want to not because you want to attract someone…that’s gonna put too much pressure on you.
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Kick him to the curb!!!
Let the man go love yourself and move on
Absolutely not, you can do better than him.
Leave he truly doesn’t love you if your weight is an issue for him
Boy Bye! Find a man who cherishes every spec of you
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NO! You need to leave him. It’s understandable that he is not attracted to that, but it’s reality and it’s real life when you get married. I met my husband well over 300, ans now I lost 120 of it. He loved me when I was huge, and loves me with my weight loss. And he will always be attracted no matter what weight I’m at. You grow old, looks and body won’t be the same after 20+ years,
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Leave. He never really loved you for you if he can’t handle your weight gain! You deserve better
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Leave. You deserve better and if he’s not attracted to you why force it. Someone who truly loves you wouldn’t stop because you put on weight. Find someone that’s attracted to you
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A SO should love you no matter the love handle count. If he wants you to be a certain size, maybe he should also consider one day his backside will be stored in his belly, his hair on his head will thin to almost nothing and his no wrinkles will be there. It’s called life! He should love you through every phase just as much as he would want the same from you towards him. If he is only cares about appearances he must be living with a black heart.
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Hell no!!! What happened to whats on the inside he’s a loser
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No, he’s not worth!!! If a man really loves you than he’ll love you for you not what you weigh. Beauty isn’t what’s on the outside only but what’s in the inside. Also if he was concerned about your health than he would talk to you about maybe working out together or something. Girl work on yourself one day at a time and don’t look back at him
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He should love you and have those feeling for you regardless of your size. If he’s a grown man he should know that.
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Definitely leave! He should love you and be attracted to you no matter what. That is extremely hurtful!
I started dating my husband in HS at age 16. I was nice and thin and cared a lot more about my appearance. By the time we got married at 21 I was around 260 lbs! We then had our first child and then I lost 82lbs and got pregnant again. My weight has been up & down and so has his.
Not once has he ever made me feel any different. He has always showed me the same love and that’s how it should be.
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The weight u put on is him. Lose him and gain a better life without a Judgemental as$hat
The weight was his excuse. Losing it won’t change his mind. Ditch the man, then lose the weight…for you.
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I lost 100lbs then during pandemic put back on 40lbs my husband still loves every inch of my body, only way he’d say something about my weight is if I was unhealthy! Never stay with a man who only cares about how you look
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Leave him now!! If he is only loves, you for your looks! He isn’t worth your time or energy! You got this, your strong, beautiful and change for yourself, never a man!!
My husband said… You are his convenience!! 3yrs?? 3 to many you’ve wasted. Move on!
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To be honest it more sounds like he’s using that as an excuse so he doesn’t become the s***** person sort of speak, so sweetie move on say toodles and find you what you deserve cuz you sure don’t need that. I would look at him and say I may hat gained weight but I can lose it but you’re going to be nothing but dead wait for the rest of your life!!
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No he’s Not worth it…Anyone that Loves you. Loves you no matter what…
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No you should leave cause he’s not gone be attractive to you. Change for you not anybody else benefit
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I’d get thinner for someone who is real 
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If weight means that much to him…then yes you should lose weight.
Take how much he weighs…then subtract that. Trust me, you will feel so much better when you “lose” that weight.
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Lose the weight for YOU and kick him to the curb 
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Leave him! More of a reason for you to loose the weight and later rub it in his face
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No if he loves what’s in the outside dont marry him. You can’t change a person there is a man out there who will love you for you. When it’s true love he won’t make you change your appearance. Only change your weight for you not for someone your with.
If he truly loved you, he would be attracted regardless.
Leave him!
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Your worth is not a number on a scale.
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Girl LEAVE. I have struggled with weight my whole life. After my last kid, I was in a size Medium. Me and my boyfriend got together in 2017 right after I had him. We broke up for 6 months in 2018, got back together at the end of 18, I was still medium. We’re currently still together (stronger than ever) and I have gained SO much weight. Like 100 pounds. And you know what? I will literally be laying on the couch in some granny panties, a t shirt, my belly hanging out and he will look at me and tell me that I’m so beautiful. He gets so upset when I down myself, call myself gross or fat (I’m mentally struggling with my weight) but he tells me that no matter what, I’m beautiful to him.
Baby, there IS better. Do NOT settle for a BOY who only sees your physical appearance. You DESERVE to be loved by a MAN who will love EVERYTHING about you. And there is someone out there for you, but as long as you hang on to someone who doesn’t deserve you, you will never be able to find HIM. Good luck, honey. You are beautiful 
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Leave him it shouldnt matter what u look like or what ur size is His supposed to love you for u
So do what makes u happy when he comes running back because u “lost the weight” tell him to fxxk off x
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There suppose to love you no matter what .So he just thinks the grass is greener over on the other side .kick his butt to the curb .You deserve better
3 years he hasn’t been attracted to you. Time to go. Move on.
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However much he weighs is the amount you need to lose from your life
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Time to leave sis!! Find someone who will appreciate what you bring to the table and offer as a person…how you love them, treat people and support your significant other. Not how you look!! You deserve better 
I’m willing to bet there is someone out there who would adore every piece of you for who you are!! Don’t settle !!
Throw that boy in the trash. I’ve had two babies and weight has def came and my husband didn’t bat an eye. Real MEN would love YOU regaurdless and be your hype man. If you eant to loose weight sounds like you could drop some quick by leaving his ass. Glow up girl for you! You are a queen!
Lss weight for you and move on …
145 if a very average weight and nothing wrong with it! If you gained 60lbs but are now at 145 and “have 45 more” to lose to be what you were before?! That’s 100lbs…… very thin, kick him to the curb girl! You’re perfect
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If he can’t accept you as you are then you should leave. Then lose the weight and find you a new fine *** man. And make sure he sees all of it! Show him what he’s missing!
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Absolutely not! Find someone who loves you for who you are both on the inside and out. This is just the beginning…. What gonna happen when the kids get sick, you get sick….when life happens period!
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Leave his shallow arse.
Kick him to the curb. If he truly cared for you, he wouldn’t only be attracted to your looks. He is showing you how much he truly values you and you deserve better.
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You know the answer to this question already. If he can’t love you at your biggest, he’s not going to love you at your smallest. When you love someone, you love them for who they are, not what you see. Yes, you need to be physically and sexually attracted to your partner, but you can’t just love them for their outside appearance.
Find a man, not a boy. Bodies change, men don’t.
You will ALWAYS be questioning if he finds you attractive, that’s not a relationship.
Lose the weight for you, if you want. But regardless it’s time to cut your losses, he’s the one that’s losing.
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Leave him, lose the weight and do better!
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That’s just an excuse. Find someone better then him.
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Leave. He’s not worth it. My fiancé and I had twins, I gained 80 lbs through the pregnancy, dropped it all, then gained another 40. He popped the button on his last pair of shorts the other day, and we both laughed about it. As you age your body changes through life changes like having babies, getting older, working more, just due to hormones, etc. if he doesn’t appreciate all of you in all ways and at all times, he’s not worth it.
No… I’d already be gone. Shallow
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Bet you’ll lose that 60 pounds when you leave him. I’m so sorry
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You clearly need to loose 200 pounds of that sorry excuse for a man!! How is he going to feel if you guys have children and you gain weight? Or if you have a medical issue down the road and gain weight? Or if you just start gaining weight again? You cant live in fear that you’ll gain weight. At the end of the day it’s your relationship and no one can tell you what to do just make sure if you do stay that he understands that things happen and your weight will always fluctuate as I’m sure his will too! You deserve someone to love you during every stage of your life and every stage of your weight. He needs to stop being so shallow and love you for you not your weight. Good luck!
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Loose him you will find someone who loves you whether you have a few extra pounds or not.
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If tables where turned, should you still be attracted to him? Remember before you got to know each other it’s because something about your outside appearance looked good… love is not ABCD. Don’t let these people tell u other wise. You have known him a long time and u know him best. If he spoke out now it probably got worse and u didn’t want to do anything about it… compromise for each other so u can enjoy each other… if the weight is the only problem lose it and life goes on. But if there is more to the problems and he is using weight as an excuse than the actual problems then u can leave.
Absolutely No! He should love you for you, not judge you for gaining weight 
. I would not stay with him.
If he truly loved you he wouldn’t give a damn about weight. You are better off without him.
Our bodies change…if he can’t love you at every weight and stage of your life then he doesn’t deserve to be in your presence. The only weight you need to lose is the weight of your fiancé.
Kick his ass to the curb
Leave him if he cant love u fir u
Leave him. He don’t deserve you whether you are at your biggest or not.
Nope. If he don’t love you for you, then he NEVER loved you. Only for how you looked. He’s a jerk and doesn’t deserve you!
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If a man puts value on your appearance be prepared for him to “up grade to a new model” in the future. Best weight to loss is his.
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If he can’t handle you gaining weight, what would happen if you guys got pregnant? Nah, you don’t need someone like that.
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Get out while you still have your sanity. If you lose the weight, he will find something else about you he doesn’t like.
Nope. I’ve been with my husband 11 years, we have 6 kids but when we got together we had none so I’ve gained weight, like most ppl do. For 6 kids I don’t look bad though. He tells me I’m beautiful, loves me and wouldn’t leave me, no matter what I weighed. That’s how a husband is supposed to feel. He belittled you and hurt your feelings and doesn’t care. Let him know, you don’t want him anymore, and work on you. You got this 
.
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He isn’t worth it. That’s such bs. I would be afraid he would leave or cheat if I got pregnant. This guy isn’t the right guy.
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You mean you ex fiance?
if you want “for better or worse” leave.
Noooo, he’s not worth it 
I say let that 
!! Get you a real team mate. In most vows it says for better or for worse. And weight gain ain’t the worse. So if he can’t love you thru this, is he ready for what hardship life really throw at ppl.
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Don’t ever let a man make u feel that low!! He lost attraction thats on him!! Your still the same lady with the same personality and same heart x it doesn’t matter that you’ve gained weight! He’s a pathetic excuse of a man you can fo better!! You got this , head high 
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You need to lose about 200 or so pounds which is his dumb mf @ s $
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Loose him or hell if you wanted surgeries tell him to foot the bill. Get lipo and reduction, then after your healed you move on. Let him pay the price for your hurt. Revenge is a dish best served cold
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Hahaha ha f him. If my SO can’t love me fat they don’t get me skinny.
Leave! Consider it a get out of jail free card. Someone will love you 100% as you are.
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Not worth it. Size isn’t everything.
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