My partner and I have been together for six months, but she has been more to me than anyone ever has in my entire life. Has accepted my son as her own. The bio dad wants to sign over his rights, and I’m perfectly fine with that. But my partner wants to adopt my son. The way I see it is, he will always have two loving parents. No matter if my partner and I stay together or not. The dilemma comes into where my family doesn’t want her and I getting married, which she just proposed, plus they don’t want her to adopt him. I think it’s not their place to voice their opinions as they have been super obsessive about my son since he has been born. Advice, please.
I would get married and wait a year or two before adoption.
While they can voice their opinions because it is their grand child…ultimately not their choice…its your and biological dad,with of course ur partner
They wouldn’t have a say say at all.
It’s up to you & you and your partner getting married is really great
It’s between 3 persons… Your partner, your son and you. No one else.
I don’t think it should matter what anyone says if y’all love him and want to give him a good home together and raise him then do it it’s about y’all’s relationship with him and how well y’all provide for him not anyone else
Maybe a few years into marriage but only six months together may be far far too soon.
I would wait to see how your relationship works for a while 6 months is not enough time to learn a person
personally i would wait … it would be nice for you to have the marriage be separate event, later have a special celebration for the adoption.
I’d say maybe wait longer than being together for 6 months.
It’s a wonderful idea but maybe something to do in like 5 years time not in 6 month. Think that is way to quick what’s the mad rush to marry and adopt if you plan to stay together forever than why rush the serious things
Six months? Your child shouldn’t have even met this person yet in my opinion. You don’t know someone in 6 months. No one has earned the right to my child in that time either. I’m with your family
It’s too soon in my opinion, BUT it’s not anyone’s business. It’s your decision…and the court’s.
Look into the laws of the state as well, here in Arizona you must be legally married for 1 full year before adoption proceedings can even begin. I personally dgaf what my family thinks about my partner and our relationship, it’s my life, as long as they are good for my daughters and treat me well then its none of their business.
Six months is WAY too quick… what’s the rush?
Maybe after being with her for 6 years I would consider letting her adopt your son… it’s been six months you can’t even know a person in that amount of time. Plus why is she rushing all of this? She can still love your son without adopting him. It’s really just a paper anyway.
6 months is not long enough … also might be good to wait until the child is old enough to decide …:
Its only been six months. Slow down.
I would honestly wait a couple of years before getting married or having her adopt your child. You never know someone until you live with them for a number of years. Keeping the relationship going the way it is would probably be the best thing for a few years. But it is your decision regardless of what others say.
They don’t get to make a choice in this situation, you do. But 6 months? You can’t really know someone after 6 months or even two years and this is a huge decision…
Take your time- quit discussing your choices with your family because it isnt about them. Do they have an issue with your sexuality?
You can always do the adoption. It’s doesn’t expire. Wait a while
6 months is too short of a time frame for such a huge step involving your child. Just wait it out a little longer make sure she is the one and deserves the honor of adopting your son.
Six months is nothing. Wait.
It’s only been 6 months. Give it another like 2 years.
6 Months is Waaaay Too Soon
To soon for all this go ahead get married but you never know what happens later down the road and you don’t have to adopt a child to be there as a parent so let that be for awhile and later in life when your kid and make that choice so be it
I have things in my freezer longer than six months. Take your time. Your partner has to earn the parental right. Give it a few years!
They can voice their concerns but that’s where it ends. I would however wait a year or so before you start working on the adoption papers, take your time and enjoy your little family there is no need to rush things.
In most states u have to be married for at least a year
Wait 6 months is not long enough things can change give it time
In Ohio you have to be legally married for a year before it can even be considered … I’d wait and see how it plays out. He can be “Dad” now but that’s a life long commitment and 6 months is too short for anyone to decide.
What ever is best for your child should be the main concern
It is not really up to your family, but six months is just not long enough. I could see two or three years, but six months? That is rushing it a little to me. Could that be their concern?
My kiddo didn’t even know his step dad at six months of us dating… slow it down. But your family doesn’t make decisions for you. Do what’s best for the family YOU created. But again, 6 months is just very soon.
Just so you know if you two ever split, she’ll have 50% rights to your son as well. She could easily take you to court to try claiming primary custody of him. I think 6 months is too soon. I know a lot of people in this situation adopt when the child is near adulthood. Good luck with everything
Lmao good Lord you need help so once you two break up, who’s next to sign your kids birth certificate?
Only 6 months and y’all jumping to adopting your son? Jesus christ…
Def wait longer than 6 months. People tend to hide some of their personality for some time. And God forbid something happened, she would legally have 50/50 rights to YOUR child. She can be in his life w out having to adopt so soon.
6 months?! That’s way too soon to adopt a child! No matter if my partner stay together or not - erm, so you’d be happy to let them adopt your son and potentially mess his mind up a few months later when they decide to leave
Two separate issues… Six months isn’t long enough in my opinion. As far as the family issue, sounds like their issue isn’t time, it’s hate.
You are still in the honeymoon stage… my gosh SMH
I think where your child is concerned it’s way too early to be signing half your parental rights away. I know you can fall in love quickly BUT how well can you actually know a person after 6 months it’s way too soon to be letting anyone adopt your child. I think your family are right
You do realise at any pint if you split up you could lose your child.
If your partner is overly enthusiastic I would be concerned to be honest.
It doesn’t make any difference to the child my son is 55 now and he now all about it he is my son no matter what all my other kids feel the same way it’s just a peice of paper it’s the love that counts
You won’t be able to anyways it’s a process that can be expensive. Give it some time 6 months is not a long time. Normally I’m for telling someone to do what they want but your family is being smart.
6 months is a short time to make these life changing decisions. You even discuss if we don’t stay together. The relationship dosent sound serious enough. Don’t do this to your child. It is not fair to your child.
Would wait for a couple years after you get married make sure it’s the right decision let the father give his rights up then in time if your still together and going well no harm
You have only been together six months … .I am with the family on this one
We got married and took in our niece and nephew. We love them equally and are their only active parents. It has been about 4 and a half years that we have had them and still haven’t adopted them. The older one is begging for us to but it really doesn’t change anything. They already have their names changed and we love them as our biological children. I’m not sure I would rush into things. Hope my experience helped some.
6 months is not long enough for a lifetime commitment
Keep in mind that once she adopts your son she’ll have rights to him so if you split up in the future she can have a legal say in his life. I think before all else, your sons best interest should be put first.
I got married to my husband after being together 3 years. It’s been 6 years almost 7 total with him and I’m still learning who he is etc. There were SO many bumps throughout our 7 years. 6 months seems fast to me. Even though at 6 months I was head over heels for him, marriage is hard. (Also been divorced before) 7 years in and my husband and have not adopted the others child(ren) from other relationships yet.
Thats much too soon. Too many variables when it comes to children. They need more long term stability.
I can see why they might be concerned. I mean only you know your partner and if they have a bond, that’s even better. Adopting is a big role and once people separate, not everyone still feels the same way. I would just give it time. People do change after marriage (my mom has been married 5 times lol). Adoption won’t one day disappear and it’s not like the kids bio father is going to appear and play daddy.
I would wait a bit longer but I understand how LGBT relationships can have a fast paced environment. I would wait at least a year or more
I been together with my man for 5 years in bells life since 2 have another on the way… Her bio dad isnt in the picture. But I still think 8ts fine the way it is. 6 months and adoption talk. Wtf.
Too soon. Wait a year or two before making such big decisions.
6 months is not long enough to make a BIG decision/responsibility like that. Give it at little more time, maybe even after marriage. If you arent worried about her going anywhere than it’s no big deal to wait. It would not be fair to your child if y’all did split for whatever reason
Way too soon, wait 5 years. This is regarded to the adoption and marriage. You are rushing into this. And the fact that the bio dad wants to sign over his rights. Then sure. But that’s one unstable thing after another of only being 6 months to have someone else adopt. You need to, for kids sake make sure whoever adopts him is end game and going to be there. You need to focus on your kids needs.
I would 1 billion% insist you WAIT for your partner to adopt your child…
I would wait to legally be married a couple years… I understand your new partner is the world to you… but to be honest it’s wisest to wait… I’ve had remarkable relationships with whom I thought them the world and moon and beyond… but 2 years later they weren’t there. Now a decade later I’m still with the person I met AFTER my (world person)… My partner now proposed 6 years ago, we were married this year and I now realize okay I could have said yes sooner. But I wanted to be certain… when your child is involved. I would wait.
I also remember being the child and knowing my mother was dating… but I never met them until it got serious. Like almost a year or so.
6 months is alittle to soon to be deciding that…
I personally feel that 6 months isn’t enough time to let her adopt your child
Y’all have only just started dating. Adopting your child is a HUGE commitment to make and shouldn’t be taken lightly. I would definitely wait a few years and see how everything turns out first.
Im afraid to say your family is right in this regard . Think about the long term effects and problems that might pop up in the future. Id say chose fewer battles for yourself to deal with and dont rush things.
I have been with my husband 20 years and still learn new things about him… 6 months is like 2 days soooo not enough time… Especially when it comes to your child
You do you but there is no chance in hell I would allow someone to adopt my child after only 6 months. Sounds like your family has been supportive the whole time and are being reasonable…not sure when support and love became obsession but ok
You would let someone adopt your son after knowing them for 6 months??? WOW!
What’s the rush? If y’all still feel the same way a year from now, perhaps pursue it then. Too soon imo
You guys have been together 6 months? That is too soon. Give it a couple years, get married before you give him your child.its easy to be in love and happy the first 6 months, let shit get real first. Really test the waters like for real. You are rushing into this
Im not gonna read all this. It doesn’t matter if they like it or not. You’re his mom. If your fiance wants to adopt your kid then y’all decide that not anyone else
6 months is way too soon for anything! Give it some time. If the family sees red flags with this person you should take it slow.
I agree with the others. 6 months is pretty short for a lifetime commitment. If it’s meant to be, an extension shouldn’t matter. The time can strengthen the bond, allow your family to adjust. Check if your state has time conditions. Sounds as if his real dad is not commited. Not sure why your family is against it. Time can be real benefit. Meanwhile, you are a family unit and paper is not changing that except legally. Continue to enjoy each other. You’ll know when it’s time to make it official
You can’t until you are married and the father has signed over his rights to the adoption of your husband
It’s fine to feel stuff you haven’t. Sometimes that happens BUT your child is a different story, this isn’t just a relationship, this would be a parent. 6 months is too soon . Like way too soon.
people tend to jump the gun too fast you’re in love Head Over Heels but please give it time 4 normal things to set in like little disagreements arguments he said she said if you really love each other and no one’s going anywhere what’s the hurry your child deserves more than that don’t jump the gun
Sorry to say, but 6 months is way to soon for someone to legally adopt your son. You should wait for that at a later date.
6 months is rushing the adoption. Marriage…that is you my husband and I got married quick and 14 years later here we are still strong. But honestly adoption is a lifelong commitment, harder to reverse than marriage. Wait a while and make it through the "honeymoon " phase. I am not saying she wont be the love of life and be there 30 years from now.
6 months?? No. You guys are still in a super new relationship. That’s way too serious way too fast. Revisit in a few years.
Let the honeymoon phase settle down first.
It’s been 6 months. I don’t blame them.
It’s been 6 months… months not years. Of course your family will be against it and honestly you need to wait until you know for sure things will continue to work out like they are. I agree with your family that you shouldn’t let your partner adopt at least not now. 6 months is such a short time.
I have leftovers older than 6 months. Get real.
You’re opening up a whole can of worms here, relationship not near long enough you’re still in the honeymoon phase, I wouldn’t let bio dad off that easy he needs to pay support whether he sees him or not, if partner adopts then that is giving them rights which could be a problem if you split up,tread lightly here my dear
6 months isn’t long enough to know soneone. You dont’ know this person well enough yet. You should give it 5 years at least. Adopting your child gives them rights, and of course your family is concerned. Think about it. What is the rush? In 6 months you may not even like them anymore, let alone have to share legal rights to your CHILD!!
Omg! Reality check! You’re asking Facebook if you should let a stranger adopt your child!? Wth…obviously you should not. And obviously even you are questioning it if you’re asking the internet! And you say he will have 2 loving parents even if you break up…uh your child doesnt need 2 loving parents. Sure its always a plus, but what your child needs is a loving family (you, grandparents, aunts, uncles) which from the sounds of it he already has that. you absolutely should not give away half of your rights to someone you’ve known for 6 months! You dont even truly know this woman yet! Pull your head out of your ass.
I think it’s only been 6 months and that is way to soon . Maybe wait a few years and see maybe this is why your family is hesitant . You barely know her . I would wait whay is the rush anyway
Your child should be your priority and it doesn’t sound like they are. 6 months!? You were pregnant with your child longer than that.
Give it time! Omg!
Are you serious???
Maybe you shouldn’t have custody of your own son🤦♀️
No matter what any of the other details are, the main thing is that you have only been with this person for 6 months!! I think you need to slow your roll and take your time building your relationship and letting their relationship build as well. I think that after a year or even 2, then you can revisit the topic but as of right now, I agree with your family. I find it absolutely crazy to even consider such a thing after only 6 months. Think about your child, not your relationship and wanting to please your partner.
You’re moving way too fast in this relationship! Slow down!
Proposal at 6 months is a huge, red flag, too!
6 months is definitely to soon to make that kind of decision… this is your child and even though you may love your partner enough for marriage you need to wait a few years to see how things improve as your child ages and your partner changes with that first… your baby always comes first and I think your family is absolutely doing the right thing in protecting you both!
Six months not enough time this is a major decision for you and your child take the time to be absolutley sure it’s the right thing to do for all 3 of you if she loves you she will understand
6 months is a very short time x
6 months. Good lord.
It will take quite some time for this to happen. You have to be legally married and a father doesn’t just sign a piece of paper and say its done. There will be court hearings and stuff. Then it takes awhile to be able to adopt. They normally do background checks and court proceedings. But only knowing someone for 6 months is kinda quick to rush an adoption. You say that he will always have 2 loving parents but if you break up and it turns into a nasty break up how do you know if she will stick around? I would honestly wait a year and see if this is still something you both want. How old is your son? How does he feel about it? Also if your family loves your son as much as it sounds they are not being jerks they probably want what is best for him and don’t want you rushing into anything. Good luck.
Nope! No way! 6 month is nothing. Let your child make that decision when he/she is older like 11 or 12.
I read the first sentence and say don’t do it!
6 months is too soon. I would wait
My husband asked me to marry him after 4 months of knowing each other and our first date. We got married on our one year. And he filed the paperwork to adopt my daughter after 8 months of knowing us. It’s not about time it’s about what you believe. And Ik my husband is my best friend and if we ever did split she will forever be his little girl
How about put the child first and wait till you know it’s right for the child not your life. You’re family has a point.