I’m to my breaking point and I need help. Me and my fiancé has 2 kids we have a 19 month old daughter(from a previous relationship he claims her as his own and is on her birth certificate)and I’m currently pregnant with a little boy. Me and him sat down before we found out the gender of the baby and chose a name for a boy and a name for a girl. The name for a boy is Grantley. His dad asked if we’d use ray as the middle name for a boy, because it’s tradition that every first grandson has the middle name ray. So, we was nice and decided yes because it’s both mine and his dad’s middle name as well. Well, my fiancé and I told his family what we planned on naming our baby boy. Little did I know it was going to be the biggest fight ever. They had a family member that passed away a long time before I met my fiancé, and his name was Grant. His family seems to think that we’re naming our son Grantley after Grant. I’ve explained to them it’s not why we chose Grantley. His mother understands, and his siblings haven’t said anything else about it. His dad, on the other hand, has gotten out of control. He sat there saying how I was a bad mother, and how the baby’s name was stupid(and he didn’t even spell it correctly). He’s sitting there threatening both of us because we won’t change the name. An he keeps on saying how I’m stupid and how my fiancé is stupid and how we’re dumb. Basically putting us down and being really disrespectful towards both my fiancé and me. At one point, my fiancé’s dad said he wanted nothing to do with us or our son if we decided to name him Grantley. I didn’t open my mouth because my fiance asked me not to. I told my fiancé I’ll keep quiet till he messages me. He’s told his dad not to message me numerous times because I don’t need to be stressed. His dad messaged me tonight, saying about I don’t need to name my son Grant that he already had already lived his life and how we need to change it because they ain’t ready for another Grant. I was nice and told him that I’m sorry that happened to you, but Grantley has nothing to do with Grant. That their son and I chose Grantley because we fell in love with that name. That Grantley is not another Grant that he is his own person and that I was not changing the name for any reason. My fiancé then flipped out on me because I messaged his dad at all. I explained to him that I was sick of his dad sitting there saying stuff about us because no matter what my fiancé said to him, he still did it, and it made it worse every time. He and I talked through it all and are fine now, but his dad still seems to keep going with disrespecting us and saying our son has a stupid name. I just don’t know what to do; it’s like no matter what, his dad keeps doing what he’s been doing. I don’t want it to have to come to the point where I say fine I don’t want him at the hospital after I give birth and I don’t want him near the children or me,because my fiancé is at the point of dropping his whole family because of his dad. I’ve explained to him that it’s not all of them and that hopefully his dad will come around. I’m just stuck, and I don’t know what to do. My fiancé is leaving for military boot camp 3 days after my due date and I don’t want any problems for me while he’s gone.
Not their child not their place sooo they can get over it.
Your kid , your choice of name . He needs to be mature and get over it. Your fiance should maybe talk to him and let him know he’s not okay with the way he’s talking to you and if he doesn’t accept it then it’s best to keep the distance .
Your child your choice. Fuck what people say!! Even IF you did choose Grantley from Grant then the family should be honored to have his name carried on. People need to stop being so god damn sensitive.
You need to distance yourself from people like that. It’s your child and you need to put boundaries in place to protect your children from people like that. That’s not family, that’s manipulation.
All this over a name? Fiancé’s dad needs to grow up! I’d cut all ties if he’s going to be this immature. He already said he wants nothing to do with the baby so why bother?
You stick to your guns
It’s not his child. He sounds like a 3 year old who is flipping out because the blue spoon is dirty and he doesn’t wana use the green one. 
stand your ground mama, I think the name is beautiful and fiancés dad can kick rocks
It’s time for everyone to grow up.
Its your baby. They will get over it. Dont let him bully you into changing it.
I let my exs family bully me into changing my sons name and I really wish i hadnt.
Stand strong you got this
You have a right to say whatever you want to your fiancée’s family if they are being toxic. Stand your ground!!! You are just as important!
Is he paying your bills?
This is your child not the grandfather’s. Block their number and communication until the idiot wants to grow up. Fiance liking it or not…DO NOT LET ANYONE TREAT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN THIS WAY.
Ignore the childish 
. Name your baby what you want and cut them off. It’s that simple
I personally would change it. I hate naming kids after family member Dead or alive. If there was someone with the name already in the family I wouldnt use it.
I’m not a fan of the name either, but I know that if the child were in my family, the name would become synonymous with love. I have 17 younger cousins. disagreed with almost all of their names… at first.
but the name eventually becomes a person and THAT is so much more powerful
my dad made fun of the name we picked for a boy, I shut him the f up, all disrespect returned. he stopped.
we ended up having a girl, but I was ready to carry that grudge to the grave
Who child is this? Yours or theirs ?
Put your foot down and don’t let anyone tell you how or what to do with YOUR KID!! Come on people
it’s your kid not his. name him whatever you want, period.
end of story
if he doesn’t agree too bad so sad, again not his decision to make.
He sounds like a bully, your baby your choice, if I was in your position I would also be weary of letting my children spend time with him, tell him he needs to suck it up or back off for good
If you gave into this bully over something now you would never have a chance in the future. Stand up to him now and nip it in the bud
Playing devils advocate here - it may be really painful to have another grant. Might be why he is lashing out.
Not condoning his behavior at all. Its your choice, not his.
How has he acted prior to this? Is he normally condescending and mean? Maybe he feels very strongly about it. Maybe he feels like you are trying to replace his son.
I don’t agree, but I get it.
This could be coming from a place of pain, not a place of hate.
Toxic is toxic. If your spouse is ready to drop his family due to toxicity then let him. If he wants to disrespect an unborn child then he can never be in that child’s life 
I mean I’m not a big fan of the name anyway, but he is right, it will be shortened to Grant by a lot of people and depending on the circumstances surrounding his death it may be painful for him to constantly hear the name and he doesn’t know how to express that to you because of the emotion surrounding the situation. Even without shortening it the first thing that comes out of your mouth when saying the name is Grant. Maybe you should be more open minded as to why they are so adamant about not using the name of a family member that died. If you honestly dont care about their feelings or having a relationship with them cut ties and be done with it.
The baby isn’t coming from their vagina or loins so they can kick rocks and blow bubbles. If they wanna have something they can name, they can go get a pet. All this nonsense over a name then those people should just stay away. Imagine being this hurt over what name someone chooses for THEIR baby. NAMES ARE NOT OWNED BY ANYONE IF THEY HAVE AN ISSUE WITH USING A NAME DEAD OR ALIVE THEN THEY NEED TO DO THE WORK TO OVERCOME THAT. Grieving? Okay, not my responsibility to walk eggshells around you regarding naming my child 
He sounds like a control freak. He should be told it’s none of his business and then end the discussion. If he keeps trying to bring it up & start a fight, ignore him. He’s acting like a spoiled child. Not his kid, not his choice. Period.
regardless of the situation surrounding grant, its your child so you choose whatever name you like, noone elses opinions matter family or not.
I wish sometimes it was legal to just deck the fuk out of another person. Just once. People sometimes do need to have sense knocked into them.
Keep the name, dump the gramps.
Tell him #notyourchoice
I’d give him a good bollocking and tell him to grow the fuck up. It’s your child noone but the parents have a say on the name.
I would personally try to find another name I liked just cause I wouldn’t want ppl to hear my kids name and have someone else pop into their heads. But if you like it and wanna keep it tell him to call the kid Ray and leave it at that 🤷 my grandfather hated my son’s name so he called him Al, which I didn’t like the name but it didn’t hurt me or my kid any to have a “special” nickname from my grandfather
I am bitter. I would say ok we are changing the name… To Grant instead of Grantley. Be mad.
It’s your baby, name him what you want to name him. I would block your husbands dad too. He doesn’t need to be causing so much drama over a name. And if he doesn’t want to be in your baby’s life oh well.
There’s always Brantley…? But don’t give into the dad. If he wants to name a child, tell him to have one.
Since you have no plans of changing the name, just don’t engage with them. If they continue to ask about it, just say you haven’t decided on a name. I would just make sure that no one else is around when you are filling out the naming paperwork. Once it is official, nothing they can do. In the future, if you have anymore kids, just keep the name to yourself.
Screw his dad. It’s YOUR child name him what you want. If he has a problem with it tell him he doesn’t have to be in the babies life
I didn’t read the whole post but I would name him that out of spite at this point. Your fil is being and idiot. Pay him no mind and name your child whatever you want and if he hates it so much he doesn’t have to have anything to do with said child. That’s the game is play right back if he wants to be like that.
I would change the name it’s obviously causing too much drama. Think of a different first name and use grantly ray as a middle name
Nope, Grandpa gets cut off until he can act like a grown up. I dealt with exactly this with my own sperm donor of a father. He flipped out when my now ex and I decided on the name Lillian. My dad said all kinds of horrible crap to me and told me that my great-grandmother who had only passed away a few months prior would be “rolling in her grave” because that was the name of “the bimbo that my grandfather ran off with”. Which I had exactly zero knowledge of. I don’t know my biological great-grandfather. No idea if he’s alive. Hell, I didn’t even know that the husband my great-grandmother had WASN’T biologically related to me until shortly before her death!!
Kindly tell him to fuck off its yours and your partners baby not his just because there happened to be a grant in the family doesn’t mean the name grantly is after him. Is your partners dad giving birth no you are he has already had his chance to choose his childrens names and this is your child and you can name the baby what you want to xxx
It’s your baby. Name it what you want
Grant must have been a despicable person. No need to know the details. Name him something else!!
I would wonder if there is some really negative memories attached to the name. Maybe talk it out reasonably before making the decision final.
Whi gives a shit what he thinks and if the dad doesn’t want to be around your child I would consider that a win. Keep your child away from that weirdo.
I would change his name only because of the hurt that name brings up.
Regardless of if he’s still grieving or not , that’s bullshit how’s he acting . It’s your baby . No one has to approve of your choices of names or anything else . Drop him . Grantley is a unique name 
very cute . My son’s is Brantley .
Block him. Move on. Keep the name.
Very toxic and I’d tell him and his son to handle it or he can just not be a part of my life period!! Don’t ever think of getting mad at me for defending myself or my right to mame my kid anything I want or you can go back with your daddy!!
I don’t make choices about my life over others problems, past, opinions or judgments! The only people I need to make happy are me and my kids.
I’d block his number and tell the partner to tell him he can leave me alone for good.
They can’t do anything it’s up to you on wether you name your son grantley or not
He dont need to be around
I would change the name. Not to give in to him, but to make peace for a baby who hasn’t been born yet. This is my opinion.
I mean it is a dumb name but this is also dumb. The whole thing is a mess.
My opinion - I wouldn’t change the name. You give into changing the name and he will try to control you and your fiancé/future husband for the rest of your life using the tactics he’s using now. Grantly and Grant are not the same name. If you and your fiancé love it, stick to what you said you’re gonna do! The dad is gonna be all talk until the baby is here, the he’s of course gonna want to be around the baby. You and your fiancé have more power than you think, and your fiancé shouldn’t let his dad talk to you like that.
Before cutting him out your lives try to keep in mind that sometimes you choose a name and then when baby’s here it doesn’t suit them and you have to change it anyway!
I know you love the name Grantly, but it sounds like Grandpa is reacting out of grief, I would personally choose another name, only because I wouldn’t want someone who should be very close to my child feel pain everytime he hears my child’s name. I would want my child to inspire happiness and love, not pain or grief. Do I think he’s being ridiculous with how he’s acting, of course I do, there are much easier less hateful ways to communicate this, seems he just doesn’t know how to handle it though.
I would explain to him that if continues these actions that he will not be aloud to be apart of his life. Imagine how that would make your child feel if his grandpa chose to tell him how stupid his name was and so on. If he doesn’t get his act together, cut him out.
Sounds like you will need some support while your fiancè is gone. Do you have any strong people to stand with you ? I’d guess grampa is only going to get worse when his son is gone.
It’s really none of his business what you name your baby. Personally I wouldn’t want him around with that attitude.
Id tell his dad to shut it thats his name if u wanna keep attacking me about it well then u dont have be apart of his life. I wouldnt anyways just incase when that kid getts older the grand dad would say mean things like telling the kid to his face that he has a stupid name thats bullying id honestly cut the nay sayers out thats yalls kid if they wanna be mean then they dont hqve to be apart of tge childs life…also sounds like grandpa is jelous
Toxic is toxic. I understand why is upset but after voicing his opinion the first time it should have been the only time. Its your child. Block them and go about your life. Keep the name you guys decided on.
I stopped reading halfway through. Now if someone that you where close with die how would you feel if the name someone was naming there kid was almost exactly like it. I find your being petty and rude. Just cause it’s your baby dosent give you the right to upset the grandpa with the same name ALMOST just about when he is STILL grieving. Pick a different name for Christ sake. It’s different if he ordered you to name him something but out of respect you shouldn’t !!
You should be able to name your child whatever you want. If hes going to he so disrespectful cut him off. You really dont need all that stress especially pregnant with the baby. This should be a happy time for you. If he doesn’t want to be a part of the kids life then thats his loss. Its sad with what happened but there will he more ppl with the same name…i chose autumn for my daughters name despite what happened on my side. Shes my daughter…hes your son…not everyone is going to be around forever. If you need to cut him out…cut him out fir your happiness
Your baby.
Your in charge.
He only has control if you give it to him.
He can call the baby By his middle name.
Also wouldn’t allow him in my house if he’s acting a fool.
Don’t give in! I know it’s just a name, but it’s your name & if you give in now his family will know that they just have to throw a big enough tantrum to get their way!
Is this name truly so important to you? If so keep it. But obviously Grant’s death affected this man profoundly and whether the names are connected or not he will always remember the pain of losing Grant. So if the name was chosen just because you like the sound of it, would it be so awful to find something you like equally as well and have peace?
Your child, your choice. It’s unfortunate that grandpa’s not a fan, but that’s his issue to resolve, and not on you AT ALL. If you love and want and have chosen that name, keep it. If grandpa wants to alienate himself from his grandchild (and potentially his son, as well, from the sounds) then that’s on him. Try not to let it upset you too much. Your job is to look after your own, not make things better for a single person with an issue. Best of luck to you!!
You name your child what u want!! If he doesn’t like then that’s too bad.
I actually feel bad for the grandpa. I think it is painful for him and he dosen’t want to be reminded constantly. I think that is what he is trying to explain and he just dosen’t know how to explain it in a way that does not come off wrong. I wouldn’t want my child being a source of pain for anyone. Especially not his grandfather. Having have lost someone super close to me, my heart goes out to him. If it were me I personally would tell him that I understood and ask him to help me find a name that I loved. That is just me but this is your baby and if you are completely set on that name and know that you will not be able to find another that you love then you have to do what’s best for you.
I would keep the name
I would think there was someone with the name grant that may be a deep dark family secret, it’s not rational for him to react that way,you should try to find out,but then again once you know the truth might make you change the name
Name your child whatever you want!!!
If he wasn’t being so disrespectful I’d say maybe think about it. But he’s being a dick so fuck em 
Honor his wishes. Don’t bring your baby around him. None of you deserve to be treated that way and your fil needs to grow up. Name that baby whatever you please. Thats almost as bad as the person asking someone to change their dogs name cause they wanted to name their baby it and they didn’t want her having the same name as a dog. It’s a name that he doesn’t have a say in
OMGoodness this is so ridiculous. Your kid not his. If he can’t deal then oh well. How old are y’all anyway. Unless he is paying for everything then I would say oh well.
Girl bye. Name YOUR baby what you wanna name YOUR baby. And tell him to shut it.
Grant must not have meant much to your boyfriend if he didn’t speak up about it during the naming process. I would tell him to get over it. Spend your time bettering yourself not engaging in that drama.
My mom HATES the name we chose for our son. she says she won’t call him by his name she’ll figure something else out to call him, blah blah blah I told her that it is not her child nor her choice that if she can’t call him by his name she doesn’t need to be around him & she definitely doesn’t need to be rude over the name we, the parents, chose for our child. She still makes comments I just ignore it. You have to just make it known that it’s noones choice but your own & their personal opinion will not change your mind. Just ignore the bullshit & keep it moving. No reason to dwell on one persons words!!
His dad needs to grow the hell up
How was Grant related to your father in law? Maybe hearing the name is painful. Regardless, you and your fiance can pick whatever name you like.
Seems dear dad needs to mind his own business where your child is concerned and goodness what is the story behind the gentleman that was named Grant to get your father-in-laws panties in a wad like this…it would be one thing if you were naming your son after this person but as you have told him neither of you were doing that. You stand your ground girl this is your and your hubby’s child and if dear old gr.pa wants to miss out on his life and love because of his name that’s his ignorance in the situation. And if you don’t need him in your life while your hubby is gone by all means keep him out of your life and your children’s as well - toxic negativity is worldwide but should be within the confounds of family towards each other. Let him be pissy and let him get over it on his own - totally ignore him and his cruelty you or no one else deserves the treatment. Good luck sweetie and God Bless you all.
Sounds like Grant did something very terrible to Grandpa. Think about that awhile. Then do whatever you want. It’s your baby.
Tell him to fuck off and name the baby what you want to name him. Grantly is an awesome name.
Name him what you want. Grandpa will either come around, or he won’t. I personally, wouldn’t have anyone like that around my child in the first place though. CUT OFF 
Can’t respect the mother, cant be around my family.
Has his father acted like this before? Is this out of character for him to take things to this level ? If this is the first you’ve seen from him I would try to look at it from his point of view. Why does he feel so strongly against that came? Aside from it being a late friend. Lots of people name their children after late friends and family. Before you add to the war make sure it’s worth it . And no I don’t condone his behavior. Just make sure he is understood first.
Name your son whatever name you choose. However, if this Grant was a deceased son of your father in law, it makes sense him acting out. Yes, he shouldn’t be name calling or insulting but the names are similar and im sure it hurts him thinking about his dead son and will continue to remind him of that loss everytime he sees your son…
Your baby. Your choice. If nobody likes it…they dont have to see the baby.
My son is Grant and I think Grantley is absolutely adorable 
I have no advice for you other than to be true to your heart.
That’s why you should keep names a secret
Maybe the gpa has a good reason to not be reminded of Grant when around your child. I would put it into consideration.
Sounds pretty inconsiderate of his father. However, the kids nickname is obviously going to be Grant. I’m not a big fan of that name though. What about Bently? You can’t tell me that name is the only name you two like. And not to mention the grandpa may resent your child if you name him Grant and the child doesn’t deserve that either. Sounds a bit like you just care about winning here. I’m sure there is another name you could come up with to end all the drama
Cut him off from your life. You can still see and visit other family but he doesnt deserve to be near y’all. I would have flipped out when he FIRST said something about my baby!
It your Baby and you have the right to name him what ever you want I think that’s a wonderful name and if he don’t like it so be it he will come around it’s your child not his don’t give in be strong 
He has no choice in the name.
But will say, if your boyfriend’s name is on your others child"d . birth certificate, he stating he is the father And that is a really nice thing.
Plus have you ever heard of blocking this man’s calls/ text???
Lord gave mercy, woman, and put those Big Girl panties on!! Stay away from him. Don’t go his house, everyone can come to yours !!
Not defending the father in law but have you asked more probing questions about why he doesn’t like the name. Maybe Grant was a pedofile or something and it upsets him??Also… Boundaries and consequences. Let the fil know if he doesn’t stop that he will see less and less of his son and grandkids.
This is ludicrous! Name your baby what you want…Period!
No matter what his reasoning, he should NOT be speaking to you like that. What happened may be sad for him, but its YOUR baby, and so it’s your(and partner)s choice!
Dont back down, stand up for yourself x
Call your baby what you want to. Its YOUR baby. If he decides that a name is more important than being a grandad then whatever! His loss.
I literally hate how everyone has an opinion on a name. Why do people feel the need to put a name down. I understand this is different but he is way over the top x
Completely cut him out of your life. Period.
Obviously they feel some way about it. Can’t you ask the reasons why? If you hear them out you might change your mind. I bet your son will shorten it to Grant down the road. Good luck.
I wouldn’t change the name I wanted to namd my child for any reason. He had his kids and named them now its yalls turn
This is why I never told anyone the name until my daughter was born. I didn’t want my view of it changed by others.
Don’t let him bully you, if he’s going to be that petty, you and the kid are better off without him.
.Just Just keep the name you guys want it’s a really nice name whether he likes it or not.
, Don’t change the name you and your fiance picked. If his dad doesn’t like it, it’s too bad for him. Don’t change it just to please him cuz then you’ll be sorry. You didn’t pick the name that you wanted.