My fiancé's ex is horrible

So he’s not even trying to get court order visitations? The ex and your husband both sound really dumb tbh. Just friggen go to court. She’s not going to automatically get 100% because she knows “legal language”. What a shitty excuse.

Document everything she does screen shot of conversions & record her & save all texts so when court comes your husband has evidence of everything she says… good luck to you & your husband…

1 Like

If there’s no court order and he’s on the birth certificate he can legally keep him from her until a judge says so.

1 Like

You need to get advise from a lawyer.
Just because she know people in the law doesn’t mean she can dictate what you can do.
You need to fight for this child before it’s too late

Go to court. Ask the court to appoint an advocate for the child. You cannot really end up worse off than you are.

How he’s paying support but, there’s no court order?

Get a good family law attorney
Gonna be expensive as he will have ti prove paternity and he beeds proof of all child support
He should get atleast every other weekend a day during weeks and split holidays !! He needs too become in charge she knows or thinks he is scared of her

Go to court lol it should have already been done. Courts now a days want kids to be with both parents. They are not just about the mom anymore like back in the day

4 Likes

It’s been 5 years time to stop making excuses and go to court. File for joint custody and take it from there

3 Likes

Keep track of everything, screen shots, voice memos when talking in person, etc.
She can’t just “get her way” if you have proof of all of this.
Get a lawyer and go to court, don’t let her control your lives.

Start a paper trail, document EVERYTHING she does, times and dates. Than COURT

2 Likes

It sounds like he is scared of her. And she is just using the courts as an intimidation tactic. He needs to fight for his kid. She is going to continue in this manner if he doesn’t fight back. He has just as much right to have his kid than her. Document everything and present the video recordings to the courts as proof. Then petition the courts for split custody and visitation good luck.

She is manipulating him. Stop paying under the table child support and take her to court to establish your rights. Just because she knows the ins and outs of courts doesn’t mean a damn thing.

It doesn’t matter what she thinks she knows about the law. Take her to court. Get the order. He needs to fight for his rights. I didn’t. Now my daughter is older and believes what she was told because I wasn’t there to show her different

1 Like

Tennessee is a mothers state. If they were never married, she automatically has full custody. He would have to prove her to be unfit in order to change that. Its totally disgusting and wrong what shes doing, but if they go to court, he better come armed with great evidence.

He needs to take her to court as that is the only way to truly change this.
Each case is viewed differently. The best thing for him to do is have all the proof possible.

So he has no criminal background but he’s afraid of court? Idk who she’s knows , nobody is going to lose their law license for this girl! His son will grow up asking why he didn’t go to court and fight and his excuse will be he was afraid to fight for him?!! Nah take her to court and be done with it! You said she’s a liar so what’s the issue? Go fight for your baby unless it’s more not being said :unamused:

5 Likes

A standard dad gets every other weekend… I would go back to court…. That’s not enough time… not goin to court this long makes him look bad not her js

Lol sounds like you really love this dude enough to believe his bullshit. There has to be more to this story. EVERY MAN HAS RIGHTS TO HIS CHILD… Question is why hasn’t he exercised his rights. And does he help financially with the child as well?!? I call BS…

I mean it sounds like he’s not getting much to begin with. He needs to go to court and and file a visitation petition. They would have to go to mediation and come up with some sort of visitation agreement but at most he would be awarded every other weekend a day during the week split holidays vacations and so many weeks during the summer which is a lot more than what it sounds like he’s getting. If she doesn’t follow the agreement she’ll be held in contempt and he can take her back to court and get his visitation made up there’s not much he can do without it being in paper and in a court

As far as the child support goes that would be a whole separate petition she would be entitled to 17% of his gross income whatever that may be it might be worth having him take that to court as well just so she doesn’t try to finagle anymore out of him for ridiculous things like having to talk to his child that’s insane

The court will decide not her.

That’s a cop out. If he really wants to see his son he would pay a lawyer ,go to court and get visitation period !

7 Likes

Document every conversation with her and take her to court.

Court period. Document everything. Sorry for your fiancee…that’s BS

1 Like

Take. Her. To. Court. If that child support isn’t on record, she could file & he could owe arrearages bc it’s not going through the proper channels. Tbh, without the correct, legal way of doing it, your fiance is screwing himself over.

3 Likes

Ok so i feel like people are judging him because he didnt try go to court before im not taking sides but from reading this the baby mama sounds like my ex husband so i had separation agreement n supervised visits my ex sign and he said he come for visits n never did madr excuses sick or anxiety etc last min and lied all the time i thought for 4 years that id be okay we work it out on our own he has massive mental health issues and pathological liar n gambling problem and lived on the street not safe for our child but i was like this husband scared my ex new head laywer n he was part of their family my own family even told me n never go to court because i lose my child because of him and everyone seem to belive his lies
I was scared too and thought i was going lose our child and never see her again and that she be living homeless on the street with him because of his lies and people he knew
I understand where he is comming from
But i agrre if u need see your kid more you have to push through it the fear the anger lies etc and take her to court and try to fight as much as u can and try to find a male laywer theyll be more helpful on the father side of things my current husband did this and got half custody because of male laywer fighting for his ex wife who lied about everything
If u cant afford it go down to court house ask for help anything to get any part custody to see your son
And my limit was my ex hands after we thought we could make it work without court which never works out for anyone my ex said some very mean things to our child n the phone on speaker phone that scared her and i was like i have to keep her safe and i need to fight for her because i dont trust him
And i did and my ex with alll the lies and excuses n money issues and no place to live never showed up for 1 court date i had to do everything on my own and i got full custody of her and he pissed still till this day years later but again he lied made excuses tried to tell court n it was too late
So if u want to see your son do it now because you may never see him again if the ex is already causing all this crap and lies and then it just get worse
Who cares if she knows laywers more people just do it so u can be a part of his life and then through court u can stop dealing with the baby mama bullshit excuses n lies
Im in canada not sure laws probably different but message me if u like i can give advice and what to do to get started
Good luck with everything but i would just go down to court house tell your situation and start the process take her to court

Um go talk to a lawyer not sure why you havent done that yet and honestly if your not trying to get full custody then the courts will probably be ok with that. Its when the parent go to court and trys to get full custody that problems arise especially against the mother

1 Like

Something else to think about… how is he paying child support. If there is no record of this then that will hurt too as she could use that. I’d also recommend that he starts doing that in a way that’s trackable if he’s not already. A few weeks of this at a minimum should help prove that he’s always been giving her something so that back child support doesn’t come into play here when you begin the court process. Only way your gonna get more time. Also, if you get more time please actually be consistent and use it. It’s one thing to do all that and he not keep his end up when it comes to follow through.

Document everything when you go to court or decide too.
Be truthful with the judge also tell him
" hey she’s threatened us with her family in law enforcement" he may put that as a conflict of interest and ask them or order them to stay out of it either way don’t let you’re fiance be the bad guy in this you’re son needs to make his own mind up

1 Like

OK first of all if he pays child support, he is entitled to see his son, If she goes to court & runs her mouth about anything & everything, the judge just might see thru this. Get a lawyer & take her to court & get visitations rights, Even if kids are taken away from their moms due to bad things she has done, the courts in the end, if the mother cleans up, want the kids to be with their mother (no father involved) Remember get a lawyer & let them do the talking, unless the judge asks him a question. When i went for temporary custody of my kids, my husband also wanted custody of them. If the mother start rattling off, he will know that she is just making things up. AS long as the dad is a good person, no judge will keep him away from his kids

2 Likes

Keep the child next time until she takes you to court :person_shrugging: then she has no choice to not take him to court

3 Likes

You said he has no criminal issues of violence agai st her or the son ,but does he have a criminal record

1 Like

Well to start KEEP RECORDS OF EVERYTHING, and I mean every single thing he gets a call you record from your phone, keep all texts, even child support start doing money orders so you can have proof he’s paying and doing what he’s supposed to be doing… And then talk to a lawyer, once you get all your proof, and stuff like that you take her to court, it doesn’t matter that she knows what to say, the judge is going to look at the proof, even if you have to bait her by saying when can I get my son, it’s been X amount of time… He NEEDS to get a custody agreement, and in the future if she breaks it so many times then she loses custody… Honestly what I think she is doing because Tennessee has this, is trying to keep him away so she can get his rights stripped away for abandonment, and after so long then she can go to court and get rights taken

Stop giving her all the control & take her to court for visitation.

1 Like

Get as much proof as possible on her and her Intentions…document everything and take her to court

Take her to court pretty simple. Just because she has family in law doesn’t mean shit, if he has no criminal record like you say and pays child support on time without a court order already means he’ll have a good chance. He has rights and she can’t just manipulate, you’re both feeding into her crap stop, get a lawyer and go to court.

I agree with everyone saying take her to court. Take her to court. Document everything.

Why is he scared to go to court? It’s not because he’ll end up with less than he has now because the way it sounds is he don’t see him for months. The worst would be every other weekend, which is a lot more than now. There’s a bigger reason he don’t want to go to court that not being said. If he’s who you make him out to be there would be no problem going to court and at least trying for 50/50.

1 Like

First of all you said there was no custody order so no she does not have custody.2d she is manipulating this entire situation and yall are letting her.Hes paying childsupport and still doesnt see his child.Take her a** to court immediately.
Also when you get to court you make sure to tell them that she has family that is in law who she as well as them have tried to scare you and intimidate you…that is illegal and they can and will lose their jobs.Good luck

4 Likes

You guys need to talk to an attorney. I know you’re scared that he won’t see his son at all, but the court order will be for more time than what he has now. And I’m not saying go straight to court. I think you should talk to a GOOD attorney (one with a $5000 retainer, not $1500) and see what they say. Heck, I’d talk to two separate attorneys just to see what’s out there. Good luck and go get this HCBM

2 Likes

He needs to dad up, get a lawyer and get a court order. He had almost 6 years to get one, 6 years to save for a lawyer.

He’s got no excuses to have waited this long.

He’s letting her win by not going to court. It was his choice but to go to court by now not hers.

7 Likes

This is too long to read, but if there is no court order in place, there can be no kidnapping. You people with baby mama drama need to GROW UP!!! If he wanted to see his child that bad after all of these years he would of gone to court and and set visitation…oh wait…HE DOESNT Pay child support…and now he owes for several years!!!

1 Like

My first thoughts while reading this automatically go to the situation I was in a handful of years ago. My ex husband made me out to be the devil to his (then) girlfriend…She was absolutely convinced that she was championing the victim.
At one point he was getting regular visitation. He decided to try a power play…kept my kid. Tried to blackmail me to get him back.
I reminded him blackmail and extortion are illegal and literally had the report forms in my hands when he finally backed down.
I stopped visitation after that.
He always had an excuse as to why he wouldn’t take me to court…similar reasons to what your man telling you btw.
On and on and on about he loved and missed his son.
Yet behind her back was threatening me about what he would do if I took him to court. The lies he’d tell. Yada yada yada.
It was pretty nasty.
I decided to play.
First. I filed for child support with DFS. Legally required since I was getting state assistance anyways.
I switched jobs so he (and his girlfriend) could no longer harass me.
I stopped contacting him.
And I waited.
Ultimately when “our” son’s SSI was denied…I purposefully leaked it through the grapevine. 2 weeks later… he offered me full custody so long as I dropped child support.
We never even had to go to court. It was all done by affidavit.
Sole legal. Sole physical.
I took it and never looked back.
So my absolute first peice of advice? I’d go out of my way to verify everything he’s saying to you. Not just his or his family’s word. I’d make sure to ask a few mutual friends/past mutual friends.

If he’s being honest with you, then the next step is documenting EVERYTHING they’re both doing (proof of what she’s doing. Proof of what he’s not doing. Record phone calls/conversations. Screen shot and back up ALL texts, write it down. Both of you.) and contact a lawyer.
Judges typically realize there is a lot of he said she said in nasty custody battles…so as long as there’s documentation to back up his side of the story then it’s very likely that nothing she says is going to impact the custody order.

Either we are missing something or I dunno. You said she has family in law and knows what to say but then also said he has no violent criminal history, no violence and so on… what could she possibly say? He’s allowed her to control him. Take her to court.

I feel like there is more going on than you’ve said, maybe even more than you know. Yes courts do tend to favor mothers in regards primary custody/placement, but they also VERY MUCH tend to ensure that fathers get visitation or parenting time as well.

He’s afraid of something and allowing her to control him with it. Because I can’t see a reason, no matter what she knows to say, that the court would completely strip him from his sons life.

1 Like

His fault, he hasn’t taken her to court

Sounds like he cant win less…I believe he needs to get a Court order asap and I hope for his sake he has proof of child support payments and if not I would get a reciept book and make her sign it weekly…Also it doesnt matter who is in her family long as he isnt doing drugs or anything else bad that would harm that child he will alot more visitation than what he has now…Get to Court Now and stop letting her control things…

Document everything keep all text from both her and your other half. I would take her to court.

The court is all for an involved father being in the child’s life. Bite the bullet and take her to court. If he wanted to see his son more, that’s what he would do. There’s no exception to that rule and she may know things, but she can’t outsmart a judge. Doesn’t work like that

2 Likes

Ok by not going to court because he could lose what he has ! Well honey he could have so much better he already pays but yet hasn’t seen his son for 5 months he’s not gonna get any less than that. Never pay in cash document everything .She’s manipulated him long enough don’t let her by with this .fight back he’s worth it …he deserves this.

I’d still take the bitch to court and document EVERYTHING. The judge will see right through her bullshit

If he wanted to see him he would have gotten a court order year’s ago. No one has custody if there isn’t a court order. Scared to lose more??? He has nothing. Definitely parts to this story missing or a court order would be in place.

3 Likes

This is the typical I want to see my child but not work hard enough for it post, I’m sorry if that hurts but it’s true. Have him get a lawyer they’ll at least give him every other weekend unless there’s a good reason they shouldn’t.

1 Like

Go to court. The court will be glad that a father wants to be involved. Just because she has family in law doesn’t make her untouchable. He has rights and she doesn’t get to decide what those rights are. Keep detailed records of every single thing and take her a** to court.

Go to court. It’s simple he can’t prove he’s unfit if he’s got nothing bad on his record or that he’s doing. Put her in her place simply and respectfully by court cause she can’t go against what a judge says.

Lawyer up and take it to court. She may know the ins and outs but the courts are cracking down on parental alienation. He needs to record everything and I would suggest only communicating with her via text or email to document each interaction. Nothing can be done until it goes to court.

2 Likes

I could be wrong but it seems like you’re leaving something out. :thinking: Why is it that he can’t go to court?:face_with_raised_eyebrow: It makes no sense. If he’s such a good father and doesn’t have a history of violence or no type of criminal record, then I don’t see an issue with him trying to file for some type of visitation. It just seems odd. From what you say he hardly gets to see or talk to him, so how could going for visitation end up with less time? Instead of asking people of Facebook, he should be sitting down with a lawyer to discuss his options. :woman_shrugging:t4:

5 Likes

He needs to NOT pay her anything for support he is not going to get credit unless it goes through the court…if she lies about everything she will lie about that too. He needs to get an attorney and apply for visitation, the courts want dad in the child’s life…if he does not have any record, whether she has family in law enforcement or not it will not matter. What are they going to say? They cannot make things up. If needed his atty will reccomend a child custody dr to evaluate her. Him and the child…it costs money but will be well worth it in the end…get a custody agreement and then she cannot pull this crap anymore…and they will be looking hard into her too and her parenting style…they will quickly find out who she really is not matter what she tries to lie about. If he really wants to see his child and on a regular basis he needs to take action and make it happen…honestly if she truly is that way you say she is…she will probably settle out of court as she will not want anyone up in her business too. It might be a long process but will be well worth it in the end!!! Not to mention all your lives will be much better! Good luck

1 Like

I didn’t even read the whole post, I didn’t need to. I got to the part about him threatening to take her to court and her saying he won’t get shit… don’t need to read past that.

If he wants his son, he will have his son. No excuses. No judge in this country is going to deny custody/visitation to a father who what’s to be involved with their child. There are to many fathers out there who want nothing to do with their kids. If your fiancé has a happy, healthy, and safe environment, he will be granted, at least, visitation, if not joint custody and there isn’t shit she can do about it because if she withholds the child when there is a court order, she can be held in contempt. So, I suggest heading down to the court house, filing a motion to establish custody/visitation and child support. The way this baby mom sounds, make sure your fiancé is specific on EVERYTHING. He wants sole custody or joint custody. Or he is okay with her having custody but he wants visitation of XXXXX. Be specific and include a holiday schedule. Because if Christmas falls on her day, you should know she will be spiteful and keep the kid just because it’s her day. I would suggest setting a normal visitation schedule like every Tuesday and Thursday from 5pm-8pm and every other weekend from 5pm Friday to 5pm Sunday. Split holidays, don’t forget to include the less popular holidays like Memorial Day and Labor Day, so you’re guaranteed to see him on those days, split birthday. Include Fathers Day as dads day and Mother’s Day as moms day. Include school breaks and summer breaks. Include a back up plan in the agreement, for example, if it’s dads weekend and he gets called into work, have it state the child will be with you until dad is home. Or the child will be with moms boyfriend/husband/sister/mother whoever, when she’s not available at her time. Include who picks the child up and who drops the child off. So if Dad picks up at 5pm on Friday, mom picks up Sunday at 5pm. Include a clause for school clothes/shoes/supplies… like each parent will provide 5 outfits and a pair of shoes for school. Also, establish child support through the courts. It will be taken directly from dads check and he won’t have to hand her any money at all. Be specific and be through because his baby’s mom sounds like a bitter one and when parents a bitter, the one who suffers is the kid.

But again, if he wants to be in his sons life, he will be. Nothing can keep a parent from the child they really wanna be there for.

Why is he afraid of her? The fact that he has been paying her voluntary child support for all of those years won’t matter in court, he will probably have to pay retroactive child support as the voluntary child support will not count, of course the judge will decide how many retroactive years back he will allow. Dad will need to come up with a very good solid and convincing excuse as to why he has waited so long to demand his parental rights. I pray he is assigned a very good and understanding judge that will favor on his behalf. The most important part of being a good father is being a strong figure in the child’s life, it’s not all of the presents you can buy them, it’s the time spent with them making sure they understand that you will be there for them always and that you love them and care for their wellbeing. Being present in their life is the best present you can give a child :). Just my opinion.

You sound ridiculous honey. If he wanted to be a real dad to his son he would’ve went ti court A LONG TIME AGO. It doesn’t matter what she says. Your just making excuses for for man being a dead beat dad. If his ex is so horrible a d difficult he can deal with her through court. PERIOD. What could she possibly lie about or say in court to pressure a family court Judge to only give what she wants? Hello. Your man has had 6 years to get a lawyer and step up for his son and he hasn’t. Stop blaming his ex for his lack of action. There’s more to the story obviously. Most women don’t act like that towards their kids dad without reason. You really don’t even know anything besides what he tells you and he’s obviously leaving stuff out. He’s going out of his way to make her look bad to you and himself seem better. Really he just looks lije an
a$$hole for not seeing his son for 6 years besides a handful of times. Slow you’re roll. And press your man to take care of his kid and go to court.

Take her to court! She can’t control what the judge decides! Make sure he communicates with her via message so it can be kept for proof and make sure he has proof of the child support he gives her. My sister in laws ex just got rights he never had. He never met the child who is now 5 and all of a sudden decided he wanted to be a part of her life. He had a record of abuse/assault and that was overlooked to give him a chance. However it started with supervised visitation. Sounds like it’s time he took the step and took her to court. They can actually place in court order that she cannot talk bad about him in front of the child

He is the one choosing not to fight …that is on him. He is part of the problem for allowing her to manipulate him. If he doesn’t fight, he can’t say he tried

8 Likes

If there’s no agreement she DOES not have custody and he has the same legal right to the child that she does.

6 Likes

He needs to take her to court. If you save messages, videos, whatever. No judge will take a child away from his dad. As long as it remains healthy. Right now you’re giving her the power to do whatever she wants , and you need to put her in her place. They have a child together. Meaning they both call those shots unless a judge says otherwise. Take her to court.

1 Like

If he goes to court and fights for time with his son, I GUARANTEE you he wouldn’t walk out with less than what he is getting now. Sounds like he barely has anything at all! What she is doing isn’t right to that poor little baby. He deserves time with his dad too.

3 Likes

Fight
Take her to court
Document everything, texts, calls, including video
If he doesn’t fight, he isn’t going to win his rights. I have an ex just like this, I fought and finally have custody of mine! Good luck and karma will find her!

1 Like

I am so sick of hearing of woman saying they know this and that about what will happen in the court room. NO they do not. My boyfriends EX did the same thing. Threatened him left and right all because there was another woman in his life (me). He lawyered up and FOUGHT for his son. Did he spent a lot to do it? Yes he did. Did he get equal rights and his son every other week. Yes. He. Did!
The every other weekend father is becoming less and less these days. Most judges want to see the father fight for his rights. Unless she has physical, real proof as to why he is a unfit father she doesn’t have a leg to stand on. The judge will rule for the best interest of the child…NOT because mom says so. Does dad have a stable home, job and transportation? That is what will matter if he actually fights for him.

…… good luck it usually doesn’t get better …. Unless he chooses to and I found out hard way…. Don’t add that on to your stress if he cares enough he would fight… it’s not your battle …

3 Likes

Apparently she has something over him he’s afraid to get out sounds like to me, is why she’s in total control of everything.
Or he still want’s to be with her+something is going on behind the scenes aka your back.
You better check that man out better.
Or he’d of taken her to court by now.

4 Likes

He needs to go to court

2 Likes

Lawyer up. Like yesterday

2 Likes

Go to court. This is called parental alienation & is illegal. As the biological father, your boyfriend has more rights than he thinks. Keep a journal & write down everything- every payment, gift, etc, every visit, every conversation & get a lawyer. Take her to court & get court ordered visitation that she can not legally deny.

2 Likes

In my state, MN, if there is no court order for custody of a child, the mother gets automatic sole physical & legal custody. Minnesota is also a mother favoring state. Those moms with full custody can be arrested on drug charges, violence, etc, and they’ll give the child to family members, foster care, or even back to the mom before the dad gets his shot. <— in a lot of cases, not all. Despite that, they do believe a father should get to be involved. For example, I chose to keep my son away from my ex as he physically abused me in front of our son for 2+ years and stalked and tormented me for 2+ more years after that, also in front of our son. He then went to prison for 1.5 years and then asked to see his son a few months after getting out. I asked my son, who said no. So I said no and he took me to court. The judge ruled in his favor but only for supervised visitation once a week for an hour (due to his history though so your fiancé definitely has a better shot at more rights without a violent record). My son does not want to see him and is afraid of him, regardless of how well I’ve sheltered him from my own fears and have tried to encourage him.

I will not get into my story here, but I’m telling you this part for a reason.

I no longer have to follow the court order as my sons father has already failed it several times, BUT I had rules too. I got all the rights, I got full physical and legal custody, all he got was supervised visitation. But I was not allowed to bad mouth him or let anyone else bad mouth him in front of my son, I couldn’t say or do anything that the court would consider as potentially persuading my son not to go to the visits or not to like his dad, etc. i was also not allowed to ask him questions about his dad. I don’t remember all the rules, but they were definitely there. I learned as a child how hurtful and damaging it can be when one parent talks down about the other, so those rules were easy to follow for me, I was already living by them religiously. But it sounds like your fiancés ex will have a really hard time following rules like that… and if I had broken those rules, my ex would have gotten more visitation time and I’d have had my parenting ability up for investigation.

So even if you live in a state like mine, it’s worth a shot to take it to court. In MN the parent fighting for custody is the one who pays all the fees for court, other than anything the other parent submits into evidence or files with the court. And also documentation is everything. Every time she says no to a visit or call, breaks plans, bad mouths him, etc. write it down, date it, screenshot messages, write down details of phone calls (or record them depending on laws in your state), etc. The judge may not give your fiancé what he wants right away, but once things are being done through court, she will be under just as much of a watchful eye as he will be. And she will not get away with what she’s doing. It is actually even considered a form of child abuse to do what she’s doing. If you haven’t started documenting things yet, start now. Start as far back as you can remember details/have evidence for, and then stay current with it. It’s a pain in the butt, but it helps so much more than having nothing to show for what she’s doing.

Good luck to you both! :heart:

I dont know what state you are in but that’s sounds like a bunch of scare tactics on her part. See if you have a local fathers group to help him with legal advice and 100 percent take her to court for the court ordered schedule of visitation and establish an order.

1 Like

Guardian ad litem. Look it up.

1 Like

I take it by the way you worded the part about he was never violent with her or his son, that he has a criminal background. You need to speak to a lawyer and see what can be done about it. I know the laws have changed and many can be taken off now. And if he is not on parole and has done his time, it is considered that he paid his debt to society. Go see a lawyer, but not in her county.

Pray about that situation :two_hearts::pray:

2 Likes

How can she have custody when they never went to court? It’s never just granted at birth. He needs to get a lawyer and she can get in trouble for using anyone in her family because that’s interfering.

1 Like

I don’t know the whole story so I don’t want to assume, but the way you’re talking seems like your fiancé may have had some sort of criminal issue that he’s worried she will use against him in court. So first and foremost, get an attorney and have him be completely honest and transparent with what the situation is. A lot of times and depending where you are from , the courts want kids to see both parents as much as possible as long as there is no chance for harm, and by the sound of it your fiancé seems to really love his child and wouldn’t put him in harms way. The woman sounds like she’s trying to scare him into thinking she knows the law and will use his record against him but she has no say in what a family judge is going to do, that’s why you need a lawyer like yesterday. Document EVERYTHING. Keep messages, make sure they are communicating through email or texts not just on the phone. Don’t let her scare him into thinking he cannot see he’s son, having a criminal past does not make you a bad father unless it’s something that would directly hurt his child. People change. Hang in there , and get a lawyer asap

2 Likes

Establish paternity? Then go to court for visitation rights…

He needs to talk to a lawyer. They can give him the best advice he is asking for visitation but depends on state laws. Find a good attorney and expect to she’ll out a lot of money. He wants the kid take her to court she knows she can manipulate him and does. There is nothing that says her family attorney members are telling her she is wrong

1 Like

Take her to court and show them everything. Every text, every video. Keep everything. Shoot go for full custody.

Find a good lawyer. Take her to court. Show evidence of what she’s doing by keeping a time stamped journal for the judge to read. Also don’t do anymore phone calls just do texts or even emails documents show proof. Phone calls are hear say. I don’t see why a judge would not give him parenting time. If he is paying any kind of support he deserves to see his child period. Just because anyone may have a bit of a past does not mean they can’t rehabilitate if he’s done his time. If he’s done nothing to harm his child he again should see him. I hope your situation gets better for you all :heart:

Honestly he should’ve taken her to court. He already hardly sees the kid it’s common sense at that point to file. He’s had how many years to begin that and fight for appropriate time with his child? If she’s not “letting” him see his kid he should be taking every step to make sure he does.

2 Likes

I would still take her to court to get visitation set up so she has to follow. Have him get a note book and write everything down. My fiancé kinda went thru the same thing he took his baby mama to court. She is back on her bs again my fiancé told her he will take her to court again so now soon he gets visits with his son after two years of us moving out of state

Get a good lawyer and fight it. The judge will see through her shit

Own it…man up…karma is a bit##…

Just wondering if all these phone calls and texts are saved. That’s considered legal documents. Also her withholding the child can actually make her lose custody. Get a good lawyer and take her to court. ASAP

OK so I stopped reading halfway through why does he pay child support and there’s no custody order that makes absolutely No sense yeah get a lawyer because her saying she’s going to hold the kids from him would mean nothing to me if I were him.

2 Likes

I stopped reading…
Go… To… Court…

3 Likes

She cannot “make sure you don’t get shit” in terms of custody. It’s an empty threat used to control the situation. Get a lawyer, get a guardian ad litem for the child, and DOCUMENT EVERY interaction with the ex.

Take her to court. A judge will not “give her everything” 100% go to court!

Courts aren’t as bias as they used to be. Father’s are not second class citizens. Get a specialized lawyer for father’s rights and go to court. When they see a parent willing to fight for their kid, vs. just letting the mom get away with the bullshit, it opens the door to be more in his favor. If she flakes or tries to lie to the court; that’s again in your benefit. Once you have a court order in your hand, you can hold her to it and he’ll get every ounce of his time with his son, but you are going to have to fight it.

I know in state of Pennsylvania ik not state you live in if no custody order you legally don’t have to give child to other parent and that when you do go to court for custody they want a mental evaluation and parenting classes at least the county I’m in does butnif he pays child support I’d think court would at least give him weekends

Look…… if he wants to see his son he needs to get a lawyer and take it to court. Period

3 Likes

Sounds like fake news. If anybody told me I couldn’t see my kids, I’d work 3 jobs if I had to and get the best lawyer I could. Fathers have rights. If he is a good dad with no background to implicate him there is no reason why he can’t have visitation with his son. Sounds like a lot of excuses.

3 Likes

Even if she “said all the right things” he is on the birth certificate and you said he’s never been in trouble or anything like that so they have no reason not to give him 50/50 custody. She is scaring you guys into thinking there is nothing you can do and she is succeeding.

2 Likes

She’s bluffing. She KNOWS going to court will be beneficial to your husband, that’s why she doesn’t want to go. He’s. Probably overpaying in child support, and he’ll definitely get more visitation with a court order, and then mom can’t just cancel his time at the last minute like she’s doing now. Think about it… If she really could “make things worse for him” by going to court, don’t you think she would be happy to do so? By the way you make her sound, she would LOVE to get a court order saying your husband can’t see their kid because then she would have complete control. So why is she afraid to go to court? Because she’s full of shit and she knows it!

Get a good lawyer. Lay everything out on the table for them, and see what they say. If, by chance, that lawyer tells you going to court would make things worse for your husband, then you don’t have to go :woman_shrugging: I highly doubt that’s going to be the case, though. You’ve got nothing to lose by talking to a lawyer, but so much to gain from it.