Me and my fiance are really struggling with his daughters mum and boyfriend, they’ve been together since his daughter was a baby but now they’ve decided she can call him “daddy”. She is 6 and is no longer allowed to call him by his name. She lives with them but we have her on weekends and we have a 6 month old little boy. Obviously my fiance is hurting so bad but my question is would you allow it? Should we straight up tell them no we’re not allowing it? What should we say to his daughter as she’s not allowed to call him daddy with us? Thanks in advance for any suggestions or help.
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Leave it alone. His pride is the only thing hurt. If his child feels comfortable doing so then don’t make her/him feel bad. These hard situations happen when we don’t marry or divorce the mother of your child.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiances ex makes their daughter call her boyfriend "daddy"...advice?
who said she’s not allowed to call her own father “daddy” ??
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Yes allow it. That child’s been there since she was a baby. And why is this your business honestly? Lol if the kid is happy, healthy and fine with the situation then leave it be. Don’t make jealousy ruin a childhood.
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It sucks but she’s primarily with step dad, she’s in school. It’s not the end of the world. As long as bio dad is active she can have 2 dads.
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Has your fiancé been involved? If not and he raised her, why not?
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Unless you get it put in writing in their custody agreement, you can’t not allow it.
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She’s not allowed to call him daddy with you guys? That’s SAD and pathetic.
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I think as long as the daughter wants to call him that then it’s ok cuz that means they have a close relationship. But if she’s being forced to call him that when she isn’t ready then no not ok. My bonus son has called me mama since he started talking around 9 months, he is now 4
How do you know she didn’t start doing it on her own? If he’s been around since she was a baby, I don’t think it’s a big deal if she on her own started to call him that and I think it’s not a great idea to not let her. That’s just going to create bad feelings in her like she’s doing something wrong or you’re angry with her for what’s potentially really innocent for her
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Is she actually making her or is she doing it on her own?
My husband has been in my daughters life since she was 5 months old. She’s 5 now and calls him daddy. That was her choice.
I could see an issue here if they recently got together, but this man has been in her life for like 6 years lol
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Guys,I think op means the little girl can’t call the step-dad Daddy while at bio dads and stop moms house. And she’s not allowed to call him by his name when she’s with bio mom and step dad
My advice is that you can’t control what goes on in her home
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If that man has been in her life since she was a baby that’s her daddy to
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Don’t make it harder on the child.
It’s messed up on the mothers part but if you push it when she’s with you it will only make it worse. Children do what they have to do to adapt and survive. She knows who her actual father is; y’all might not know all that’s happening in that house so give your step daughter a pass!
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He’s her full time dad … for six years 
. This isnt your issue … Nor an issue at all
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What does your step daughter want? Its not up to you. Its up to her. Its her choice. If she isn’t comfortable with it then you step in
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That should be up to the child. If she’s being forced to call him Daddy, that’s a problem but if she WANTS to call him Daddy then no adults involved should interfere.
My husband was there for my daughter at just over a year old when her dad chose alcohol and to drive drunk over his family. My husband is her daddy too, even if her father is an active parent now
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She has 2 DADDIES… that’s ok ! Espec if they both luv and take care of her ! Don’t make life hard for the child. They have enough to deal with these days ! 
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Deciding to call another person dad should be the child’s choice. Hopefully the child isn’t really being made to call the person dad. Naturally that person is going to be a dad. He’s been there for so long.
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He’s been in her life the entire time & she mostly lives w him. Why wouldn’t you “allow” it?? My partner’s step dad has been in her life the entire time so she calls her bio dad Daddy Mark & her step dad Daddy Carl. It’s worked their entire lives & no hard feelings as she’s lived w step dad her whole life & just gone to visit bio dad on summer breaks & stuff like that. Don’t try & make her feel bad or weird about it.
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My girls call their dad-daddy and my husband dad Nothing wrong with it to me. I’m mommy and they are allowed if they feel comfortable to call a stepmom. Mom.
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Not ur business… maybe she feels this man is more of a father than her biological dad:nail_care:
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Are they forcing it or did the child decide?
Whatever you decide, do it together. Child is suffering this way. It may be a hard pill to swallow.(I would not like it). Is he good to her? Why the sudden change? Try to work it out
If it’s being forced on her, that’s not okay. If she chooses to do so, that’s one thing but it’s not okay to force her to call him dad.
You allow her to call him what she is comfortable with , put your feelings aside it’s not about y’all it’s about the kids 
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you shouldn’t tell her anything. Dad should.
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2 loving involved dads are better than 1! If she loves him,he’s good to her and he’s been there since the beginning then her is her father figure too. If the child is ok with it and not confused I would just let it be. Let the child be loved and stop being petty. If you really can’t get behind it maybe help think of another father figure name everyone can agree on for her to call him.
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This is a non issue. Choose your battles. This is normal!
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My daughter has 2 mom’s, and we’re all still alive, happy, and enjoying our mixed family. It takes some getting used to, he just needs to stop taking it so personally. No one said he couldn’t still be dad too.
The MAKING her call him dad is fucking gross though. There’s nothing you can do about it, but it is sick. Those titles are gifts children give us. They are not something to be taken or demanded.
I actually think it’s gross ya’ll won’t let her call him Daddy. And I’m feeling like the mom and step-dad aren’t forcing it. She probably chose to do so and ya’ll don’t wanna admit it. Dudes her dad too.
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Not sure why her mom is making the rules but her dad not? You are not a stepmother yet…so maybe your boyfriend needs to step up and take care of the matter.
My girls call their dads new wife momber, her name is Amber. That is basically calling her mom. She is an awesome woman. I know she cares about the kiddos the same as she does her own. I don’t have a problem with it. If the child is comfortable calling them mom/dad, what is the problem?!?
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Pick your battles wisely
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When I was a kid I called my step dad “dad jr” 
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Stop messing with kids heads bc grown ups cant handle their feelings. Leave it alone.
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I was raised since a baby with two separate homes, I have two Moms and two Dads. If this guy has been around since she was a baby, and she’s 6 now, he’s been her dad for 6 years. Let go of your pride and realize what they mean to your daughter because it’s HER feelings that are important here.
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Why make life difficult and confusing for a 6 year old? It really sounds like a kindergarten class arguing over a toy. Why not allow her to call him what she wants WITHOUT any input from the adults?
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Forcing her by all means is not okay. Ask her if she’s comfortable calling him daddy. It’s hard when there’s a step parent involved but it doesn’t have to be a battle or a competition. You can all get along and it’s definitely important for children in these situations to see you all getting along. This is about none of you. Only about her.
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Ask the child what she wants to do…
She shouldn’t be forced to call him daddy, but she also shouldn’t be punished if she “wants” to do so.
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The child should be allowed to choose who she wants to call daddy. You said the boyfriend has been around since she was a baby so it’s natural for her to call him daddy. As long as neither side is forcing her.
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So there’s so much about what bio dad wants and about what mom and bf want even about what dad’ fiancee wants.
My question is, what does the little girl want? That should be everyone’s main concern.
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It should be the childs choice.
Yours, his, hers, and his feelings do not matter. The childs does. It should be a natural thing, not forced.
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I would never force my children to call someone who is not they father dad.
If they father got into a serious relationship and my children decided to call the women mom if they get that bond if she genuinely loves my children I will allow them to call her mom if that’s what my children want it’s about my children s happiness
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It seems like a lot of step moms answering this question lol.
You don’t force a child to call anybody mommy or daddy who is not the actual mom or dad! If the child chooses to then fine but it should never be forced or intentionally encouraged.
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Unless you’re not going to be called “mom” then you have no right to tell her she can’t call her mom’s bf “dad”. And you keep saying “we” there is no “we”. You didn’t birth that child or help create that child. So you have no say. He needs to communicate with his child’s mother about how he feels it’s not a “we” situation it is a h I’ll m and her situation. You don’t get a say in anything.
He IS her daddy. He’s raising her 5 days a week. This is all just jealousy and I would be so mad if I was bio mom and you had the nerve to bring this up.
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We all need to realize it takes a village to raise a child…you ask her if she wants to call so and so daddy and judge her answer… he has been h
In her life since she was an infant? Let’s not let our own jealousy hinder a child.
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If the stepdad isn’t allowed input, you aren’t either. Take the double standards somewhere else if thats how you feel
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How Lucky is your step daughter that she has four parental role models in her life that love her. Some don’t even get one!! Rather than your fiance being insecure, maybe help him see that she’s in a privileged position and it’s not a negative. It doesn’t make him less her daddy x
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Grow the eff up. He’s also her dad as a matter of fact he’s her full time dad if he’s providing caring and supportive of that child he should be respected as a daddy.
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If daughter is there with him 5 out of 7 days a week and he’s providing for the family they have built there - I’d say he has a right to being called dad. He’s there just as much (actually more) and I don’t think anyone should be feeling upset about it, but thankful that he’s taking care of her so well that she would want to call him that.
In fact, you should call him up and say thank you.
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So she can’t call the man she sees 5 days a week since birth a dad??? She only sees her real dad 2 days a week!!! Y’all sound really childish.
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The more dads the better in my opinion, girls lucky to have so many people care
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At the end of the day it’s the child’s choice she’ll call him what she sees him as people shouldn’t be forcing her to call him daddy that’s f’d up
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Poor girl let her choose
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I had two dads (biological and step) and my brother and I called the Daddy Ed and Daddy Ken. Tbh i dont remember anyone forcing us to do so and even as an adult it still feels natural to say. My step dad raised me but i think i knew enough to call my bio dad just daddy when i saw him to not hurt his feelings. Kids are very intuitive and i think this kid will be the same. I dont think kids these days could me made to call someone dad if they dont want to anyway
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This is just sad, a title doesn’t mean anything, it’s the relationship behind it, I hope the adults in this situation stop using the child to hurt eachother
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It should be the child’s choice if he has been around all her life.
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I doubt they are “making” her, if she is referring to him as daddy when she’s with you then she sees him as a father figure which you should be happy about, there is no such thing as too much love in a child’s life. If he is a constant, decent roll model in her life then that is a good thing. And no you shouldn’t tell her it’s not allowed while she is visiting with you. That is only going to confuse her and make her feel bad. I think you both need to grow up a little bit and welcome the extended family, be thankful the little girl has all that love
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He should tell her straight up no she isn’t allowed to call your boyfriend daddy or she going to call you mommy
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If the kiddo wants to call him that then who cares. My son calls my husband dad and his father dad because he is comfortable with calling them both dad. Just like he calls his step mom, mom when he’s comfortable with it. As long as he’s happy with it I don’t care.
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It’s up to the child not the parents. My son calls his bonus mom, mom and my husband dad.
Nope they only have 1 Mum and 1 Dad and there names are on the birth certificate
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What does the child want? She may have chisen to call him that to feel like her friends. It gives them a family. Let her decide. It doesn’t mean your bf isn’t Daddy.
My son calls my husband Daddy and always has. He just started using that one day and 15yrs later, he hasn’t stopped. At the end of the day, my son has 2 Dads.
My son has a stepmom and I never scared what he chise to call her. Mom, momma. Momma J…. I’m still and will always be Mommy. It won’t change our relationship.
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It should be up to the daughter & how she feels. Yeah I get it hurts your dude, but if that guy has been in her life her entire life, I’m sure she must see him as a dad so to her, he’s daddy too.
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…… please don’t tell her that she isn’t allowed to call her life long, full time, live-in step Dad ‘Daddy’. That is simply catering to your boyfriend’s sensitive feelings - NOT hers. It’s childish/selfish/petty and you’re going to cause a rift in your (collective - both you and your boyfriend’s) relationship with her. Let her be authentic and call him whatever is comfortable and normal for her day to day. She’s 6 - you two should be the grown ups and make any needed sacrifices without causing her distress.
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I mean… y’all get her 2 days a week. Boyfriends been there since kid was a baby… and helps mom with the daily load of childcare. I highly highly doubt kids being “made” to call him daddy. More like— that’s her full time dad and your boyfriends her part time dad so kids calling her main father figure what she views him as… “daddy”. Hurts but that’s the reality of the situation.
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Yous don’t allow her to call her daddy when she’s with yous 
it’s not what yous want its what she wants she been around him her hole life and probably sees him more she can have two dads it’s her choice not anyone else’s
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Common its her daddy in the sense of the word ,he has been there all her life,she can call both of them daddy ,you and your fiance are childish af
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Pick and choose your battles
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The more people to love and support your baby the better. When adult feelings control the dynamic, the child always loses.
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I think it should 100% be up to the child, it’s not fair to force it. My little brother’s dad raised me from when I was 6 months old on, I knew my entire life he wasn’t my bio father but chose to call him dad. Had I been forced to call someone dad I would have felt so uncomfortable.
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Your man is only a “daddy” to her eight days a month. Get over yourself and do what’s best for her… A full time consistent father. You seem toxic and y’all should get family counseling perhaps?
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So, your feelings on the matter are relevant but not her stepfathers? It needs to be worked out between the adults instead of punishing a child.
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So he’s there for her more than the actual father 5 days a week. He probably helps feed her, clothed her, takes care of her when she’s sick and fixes her little boo boos. Sorry but if you don’t have a problem with him doing all of that then y’all shouldn’t have a problem with her calling him daddy.
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Me and my ex husband both have new significant others who’ve we both have had children with my son asked to start calling my boyfriend dad and his dads girlfriend “mom” he wants to and I’m in no way getting between that and telling him not to he knows I’m his mother and he knows his dad is his dad but he also knows he has two other parent figures in his life and he expressed wanting to call them mom and dad also it wasn’t forced on him and it won’t be forced that it’s unacceptable. We allowed him to have that choice and he knows the difference between his parents and step parents. This is our scenario.
In your case if she’s being forced to call him dad that is not ok. She should have that choice. Have a talk with said child and have one with the adults. Don’t just assume she’s being forced you have to communicate and be adults for the child.
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Its up to the kid. And weather she is comfortable or uncomfortable calling him dad.
I had divorced my first husband when my kids were very young 3&4 I let my children choose
It should be up to the kiddo what she calls whoever.
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It’s got nothing to do with you ?
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This man has been around since she was a baby and it’s weird for her to call him daddy?
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If not married…he’s not daddy…no
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When I was young there were custody issues, I ended up calling my aunt my mom, and when I began seeing my actual mom on the weekends and she and the fam found out they were pissed, for a long time, and made me a 4yr old feel uncomfortable. You need to let the child choose, she is trying to make sense of the circumstances. She’s not malicious towards her real dad and she needs to understand that he is still there for her aswell, and it’s ok to have more than one dad.
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Look at all you childcare experts. She asked for advice and help, not to be fucking put down and belittled. I can’t stand you people.
My ex and i split and both remarried. My daughter calls my husband dad and her stepmom mom. We both never had issues with it cause guess what they are both mom and dad and love our child as their own.
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You can’t be a part time daddy, when there’s a full-time father figure around and be mad about it…especially if he’s been there for her the last 6 years… the only person that should be mad is the biological father for not being there more often…
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That poor baby girl gets adult bullshit from both sides. You do realize it’s about her and not any of you right? Get over your insecurities
maybe you should just be glad he’s good to her and has stepped up and taking on the responsibility and a father role also sounds like there is a new sibling living in the same home that is biological his so if that child can call him daddy it would hurt the 6 year old more not to so grow up if the biological dad was that worried he would have made it work. move on you have no right to change it. þhere is never too much love for a child
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You’re making the 6 year olds life miserable for no reason other than your own desire for control and your insecurities. The child knows who her parents are and who loves her. What she calls her parents and their significant others is insignificant. Let it go and focus on making the child feel loved and safe.
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Have you asked if that is the child’s choice?
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You should be happy that your child has a good bond with all parental figures involved in their life. If the child wants to call their step parent or step parent-to-be, mom or dad, then it should be encouraged.
My kids call my fiance dad. And if their bio dad ever settles down and finds someone that makes my kids happy and comfortable enough to call them mom i would allow it. Children are not pawns. They are people with feelings and bonds to other people in their lives just like us.
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What does she call you…I’d say what is she comfortable with…
Lol not really up to you is it hun ? Not your child you have no say so there is no WE are not putting up with it your partner has to bring this up with his ex on his OWN if it’s such a problem but the man being there 6 years shouldn’t be a problem he’s raised the child for the past 6 years so if the child wants to call him dad that’s there choice
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Well you’re not her mom so you have no say in it, it’s up to their child, don’t force yourself in situations you aren’t wanted in! Leave the child alone and her mom!
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It’s up to the child
You don’t get a say…and fighting that one, that goes on in their house, makes you look bad. Don’t fight it. Accept it. Pick your battles. This one is not worth it. Been there, done that. Not worth the fight.
GROW UP & QUIT SCREWING WITH YOUR KIDS HEAD OVER YOUR INSECURITIES 
If that man has been there, full time, caring for her as his child, she can call him what she wants & she’s SUPER BLESSED WITH TWO DADS
You adults need to learn to coparent & quit acting like you run the show because you see her 2 days per week…
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