Hello! I need relationship advice. I am pretty much 100% decided but just want to be told, not crazy. My fiancee and I have been together three years, engaged for four months. I have had entirely too much of his family. They stop by unannounced 3 to 4 to some days, five days a week. Just stops by. No matter what we have planned. They don’t care. They raid the pantry And fridge and literally nap for hours and hours. While we usually show up to our plans late or not at all. I recently told his sister to back out of our relationship, so she flips and has my fiance’s mother go off on me. Telling me I’m full of hatred because I’m setting healthy boundaries. My fiance is not on my side at all. He’s mad at me. We’ve had two therapy sessions so far but really haven’t gotten too far yet. I’m at my wit’s end! His sister, whos 38, was told she could no longer control anyone else’s lives any longer—a long story over ice cream. I would’ve thought we did something terrible other than having already set plans. And she didn’t get her way, so she pouted like with arms crossed the whole dinner. The most uncomfortable I have ever been to! These are daily occurrences! I feel they are very toxic, and I am choosing not to be around that type of behavior any longer. I feel that is my right. I want peace, harmony, love, and happiness. All I’m asking for!
Break it off, run, don’t walk away. It will never change and your fiance has chosen his family over you. End of story. And no, you’re not crazy, you are a smart lady
I agree with the above. Run, don’t walk!
This will?only get worse once you’re married (and will be harder assuming you have children).
Unless your hubby comes in to bat for tou, this is unsalvagable
I’m glad you are setting boundaries. The thing with boundaries, if one is crossed then you remind them of it, everytime anything is crossed. I am being counseled on this very thing, if my safe place is being used, then it’s on me to ask these people to leave. If they get upset, it shows just how toxic they really are, they do not respect me. I want you to know, you deserve to be heard, you deserve to be respected without judgment. You are worthy of peace, tranquility and a healthy relationship.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My fiances family doesn't respect my boundaries: Advice? - #2 by GrtDaneDad
He needs to support you, or hit the road with the rest of his family in tow . Don’t marry him if things do not change .
get out ASAP actions dont lie
Yes speak your truth! And anyone that doesn’t respect your boundaries… Off they fk
Therapy sounds like a good step.
You need to make the decision that is best and healthiest for you. If your fiance cannot support you now, how will marriage change that? You are right to feel the way you are. Follow your instincts and don’t look back. Best of luck to you! <3
Your marrying into a toxic family…danger girl…RUN!
You are NOT crazy. That is straight up emotional abuse. You’re making the right choice for you.
If things are like this without him seeing the nd supporting what is right , i shudder to think what it will be like or can turn to be post marriage?! He is a doofus! I have serious doubts about u marrying this man.
Do not marry him until he grows up and backs you 100% even if it means cutting his family out permanently. Y’all will never be happy, and if he cannot stand up for the woman he loves, then he is not ready to be married. I did 25 yrs with a man like that and it was hell. I didn’t know better having grown up with toxic parents myself.
Also do not wait around forever for him to change either, you deserve better than that.
Hes a big spoiled baby too. Thats why he doesn’t support your wishes. Leave now, u need a man not a toddler
Woaaaah. That’s ridiculous. You’re not crazy.
I’d leave dude, that sounds like a whole mess that will never change. Might as well run before you’re legally tied in and they really ruin your life or imagine what it’d be like if y’all had a baby. I’d understand stopping over maybe once a week or so for maybe dinner or to just hang out but if they can’t respect you and he’s not backing you up, it’s time to bounce girl.
You won’t get it if your fiance doesn’t step up you need to really discuss it in therapy and if he won’t back you up it won’t work
If he doesn’t agree and is mad at you then you need to break off the engagement and go about your life. If you marry him this same shit will happen the rest of your life…
You’re not even married and in therapy already? The whole situation sounds awful and will only get worse so time to walk away, you deserve to be happy.
Run, you are already in therapy.
When you marry a man you marry his family wish I would have known that earlier I wouldn’t have married him
Girl RUNNNNNNNNN if he can’t see how annoying and toxic this is then it won’t ever change…
Tell him to keep his family and walk. It will never change.
Man I would walk out that door family can play a big part in a relationship and if he has not got the balls to stick up for you he he is not in you’re corner!
Get out. You do marry the family.
Run before you have any kids with the wackjob genes.
If you aren’t married yet and you are already having problems with him and his family, marriage won’t make it any better. It will get worse TRUST ME. I can’t believe your fiance isn’t being supportive of you over this. Sounds like he isn’t completely ready to leave the nest if he is still taking his family’s side over things instead of his future wife.
Throw them all in the garbage and run 
my sperm donor’s family is a piece of f*cked up work, so I can say from personal experience, it probably won’t get any better and it’ll cause SO much tension between you and your “man-child”. I say that because a man-man would stick up for his woman. I damn well know mine would!!!
The family’s crazy, and the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree if he’s mad at you and not them, and you won’t be able to change him, unless he wants to change, which doesn’t seem to be the case, if you want piece of mind definitely leave, if you stay you’re in for a miserable life, your choice
I would be just like you. You need to really rethink this relationship. I’m sorry. If your boyfriend does not back you,he never will. I’ve been married 39 years. From day one I told my husband he deals with his can’t,I deal with mine of there’s any issues. He sounds like a spoiled boy. Sounds like he’s not ready to grow up and be a man. This can’t will never back away. It sounds like even if he talked to them and gave them rules,they are going to continue. You deserve a man. Not a little boy. Good luck dear
You better think twice before you marry into that bunch and
If you don’t have kids run! He’s not on your side and never will be so this will be a battle for life. They will make your life miserable and it’s not worth it trust me!
What really stinks is unless your husband is on board with you… It’ll only get worse once married.
He’s not the man for you.
Your marriage will be toxic as long as his family is there.
You won’t have any of that peace, harmony, love and happiness. if your fiancé does not have your back !!!
If he is not on your side RUN “” IT WILL NEVER WORK OUT 
Before you leave… next time they come over… sweat them out. It’s the middle of the summer. Turn the air off. They will leave. Lol 
Girl, run. If he can’t see how toxic it is then honestly, sad truth is, he never will and will always choose them. You’ll have a marriage full of others telling you how to live, raise your kids etc.
You will be miserable for the rest of your life if you don’t break it off.
Run. If he’s not supporting healthy boundaries now - it’ll only get worse.
Walk away now. It’s not going to change. Life is too short to put up with that crap.
Time too leave the toxic relationship. Just my opinion
You ain’t crazy. I would leave. Especially since your fiance is not on your side.
Unfortunately been there done that didn’t work! They try to control you
It sounds like you will be in for years of misery dealing with all that!Run!
Don’t forget you marry the WHOLE family AND any exes, not just the man/woman. Referencing the sister being late 30s, doesn’t sound like her behavior will change smoothly whatsoever.
Get AWAY! From ALL of them. 
If he’s okay with it and doesn’t stand up for you now he’s not going to change.
My inlaws drive me nuts. His family will always come first and I have kicked his lazy sister out of the house. She will try and control him and when I say what she doesn’t like to hear calls me negative. She is about positive vibes which is bs to cover his lazy family butts. I don’t go to any of his family things because they are lazy and expect everyone else to run around after them. Controlling and manipulating especially his mother. He has never had my back and I stick up for myself. They don’t like it because I don’t muck around with unnecessary drama.
Yeah walk away from all of it - them and him.
Lock em in the pantry an RUN!!
If its already this toxic it will only get worse
Honestly if your man isn’t understanding, leave. Believe me, his family will always be an issue and it’s not worth it.
End it…it will always bbproblems with his family…
leave, I went into a family like that that didn’t show their actual true colors til we had kids. it’s been hell for me 
leave…
It took my husband like 7 years to finally get that his mom was toxic to our relationship (long story). If you feel like you can’t take it you need to go girl.
You are marrying him not his family set boundaries and tell him
Oh that’s just gunna get worse
I’d be done with the lot of them
I didn’t read the entire story. Lady are you mad? There are too many RED FLAGS. Leave that man and his family alone. Move on and don’t look back. If you marry him, you are looking for big big trouble. You are already seeing what is happening before your marriage. What do you think would happen when you marry him? No therapy or counseling won’t help y’all, you’re wasting your money. END THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW!
Look if he ain’t on your side now he won’t be when you are married. I’m sure you love him but is the love stronger than your need for peace?
Unfortunately that kind of toxic only gets worse, especially when he refuses to say anything. If I were you I’d sadly cut my losses and move on in life. I don’t want to say “lost cause” but…
If he’s not on your side he needs to go!
You are dead right! He needs to support you on this or you need to leave him. What they are doing is horribly, disgustingly unhealthy.
I’d be canceling that engagement. If he can’t see your side or stay out of it entirely, then it’s not going to work out. He is also not respecting your boundaries, not just his family.
Tell him to put a stop to it or your out . You should be first in his life if he wants you as his wife and vice versa .
Well if ur man aint sticking up for you then you need to walk away
time to leave the space to them and find yourself another, Take care of you first and if the boyfriend isn’t supporting you time to test the waters without him
Break up. This will never end,
It will only get worse. Especially if you two decide to have children. Just know that no matter what your fiancé chooses to do regarding his family or anything else, you’ll get the blame. You’ll get the blame for every choice he makes. Get out while you still can Lol toxic family stays toxic
You only have 2 choices honestly be married to the whole family or leave them bcz nothing is going to change since he is already in their side plus it’s been years and you just now saying something will make them feel like you’re changing up bcz it’s things like that you have to up it in the bud early
Leave the little mommas boy
Picture of your life if you stay.
Hail naw lol. Show them all this thread.
Kick their asses to the curb. Do what’s best for you and your relationship!
RUN!!! Don’t get married!
If he’s not on your side, it’s going to get worse. He will continue to pick them over you until your relationship suffers irreversibly. Don’t marry him if it doesn’t change. The family he’s making should be the priority. Take up hanging about the house naked? It’s your house, make yourself really comfortable.
Leave now or you most definitely will have issues later. There is no changing anyone’s bad behaviors as they think the have rights, but no responsibilities. Don’t stay in this relationship unless fiance is in agreement. Don’t walk away, run!!
Your husband should take up for you. If he doesn’t do it now, he will not stand up for you after your married.
If he doesn’t have your back about this now he probably won’t in the future. This is a glimpse of how it will be once you are married. So is this the way you want to live for the rest of your life? Maybe you should rethink this relationship.
Please re think the fiance. You guys are in therapy and not even married yet…
Run! Head for the hills! If this is how you’re feeling now, it will never get better.
Leave for a week without saying a word. See what he does.
No you not at your wrong. His family can’t understand not welcome come over to your house anytime they want act like they own your home and not bother to call you give a heads up? As your feince he needs grow up already start acting like a grown man and husband to be put foot down on his family defending you let them know ENOUGH is ENOUGH. If can’t stand up to them be a man defend you? It’s time for you do some lot of thinking having second thoughts marrying him? This not everybody loves Raymond his mother name Marie always coming into their home unexpected always get up his and wife business always criticized his wife not good enough.
Try doing that to them, take off and go to there house, get in their, pantry, stay for hours, just show up. Eat their food, just try it
If you have told him your wishes and he refuses to respect them, it will only get worse, not better after you are married. I would cut my losses now. You will be sooo much happier. Being alone is better than dealing with that much toxicity. And it allows you to find someone later on who doesn’t have that much baggage and you can actually have a happy life with.
Whole lotta yikes. If you’re already in therapy, DON’T MARRY HIM!
If he does not stand up to his family over you…He’s NOT the one! Move on!
Curious if she has siblings…?
If he doesn’t have your back why are you with him? 
Can you imagine when you have children and start setting boundaries then…. Mate I’d pack up and run, fuck that!!!
They stop by after work? Because who has that much time?
Then you better rethink your fiance.
Wow! Question…do you really want to marry into this family? Your fiancé sees no problem with this and doesn’t validate your feelings. Doesn’t validate your feelings…that isn’t ok!!!
Kick them ALL to the kerb!!
Wow I would leave as well and just three short years, that’s not enough time. So many red flags…I’d be gone yep
They only do what you allow… your fiance evidently not ready he has a lot of growing up to do move on love from afar
If not you move to a different place in YOUR NAME. Then you have all the say.
If he doesn’t change he can move with his family… And you can move forward and find a MAN
Lucky you have good in laws