“Fiancé is not on my side” is the only important part of the paragraphs you typed. If he’s not on your side, what is the point?
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Oh boy…sorry to say but this will only get worse
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Tell them to call before they come and if they don’t like it they can not come over at all. If he’s not going to put a stop to it then he’s never going to be on your side. Remember he was raised in that, it’s normal for him, good time to find out if he loves you or not. If not then he can go home with them. It’s not the fact they stop by,but clearly they are just coming to hang at your house and have nothing else to do. Set the boundaries and find out what’s up with him.
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Leave! This was my relationship with my kids dad. His family knows no boundaries at all! Always around and think there shouldn’t be any outside friends. They even condoned cheating and had the other women around when I was working or something. It’s very unhealthy to not have boundaries and they obviously have none. I’m sorry to say but it’s only going to get worse leave!
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Wow, run and do not look back.
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Leave sis if he ain’t sticking up for you. He ain’t worth shit
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If he doesn’t have your back and you’re already in therapy then put off the wedding until everything is resolved.
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Bye Felicia!! It’ll only get worse. Leave while you can!
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Leave now. I have been there. It doesn’t get better, it’s just going to get worse. Especially when you have children. I had finally had enough and I left. Good luck to you.
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Get out while it’s not legally complicated. Seriously, don’t be that woman who buries her head to the signs and says ,”I wish I would’ve known” X amount of years ago.
He’s your fiancé if he hasn’t stood up for you, you need to rethink getting married … this will just get worse his family already doesn’t respect you or your boundaries.
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Your fiancé doesn’t have a problem with his family. He has a problem because YOU have a problem with his family.
They have had permission before you came along to do whatever they like and treat his home like their home. And he clearly has no intention of changing it now that you’re in his life. Stop seeking support from him when this is something he doesn’t even agree with you on.
This would drive me crazy but it’s what you’re signing up for, or you will be the bad guy alienating yourself from your fiancé and his family. I really do not see the situation changing, so you need to ask yourself if it’s something you can live with and accept or give him an ultimatum of what you need to change and wait and see.
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Your fiancé doesn’t have a problem with his family. He has a problem because YOU have a problem with his family.
They have had permission before you came along to do whatever they like and treat his home like their home. And he clearly has no intention of changing it now that you’re in his life. Stop seeking support from him when this is something he doesn’t even agree with you on.
This would drive me crazy but it’s what you’re signing up for, or you will be the bad guy alienating yourself from your fiancé and his family. I really do not see the situation changing, so you need to ask yourself if it’s something you can live with and accept or give him an ultimatum of what you need to change and wait and see.
Runnnnnnn…It aint gonna change…
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Find a different man
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When you marry someone that is that connected to their family, you’re marrying the entire family. If that’s not your thing that’s the wrong partner for you. My door would always always be open for my brothers or sisters to swing by and take a nap and that’s how my whole family is. That might be weird to some people but it’s a normal way of life for others.
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It will get worse when you get married. Even worse if you decide to have children.
Don’t have any babies together. It will only get worse and you will be miserable.
Setting boundaries in with a family who happens to be your fiancée and he does nothing to help will never work, unless he stands his ground.
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You wont get it if you marry this dude unless he drops his family too.
Huge red flags. I would cut bait and go home. If your fiance can’t have your back now, before you’re married, he won’t have it after.
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Just be done an go its not going to get better only worse once married so cut your losses now an go they are toxic an control freaks
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Okay you have been with your guy for 3 years, that’s long enough, what’s good is that your in therapy but it might be too late for them. Your man should be by your side, maybe really think if this is what you want, it seems like you will be marrying his family too.
Sounds like they like you and wanna hang around. You’re fortunate you’re marrying into a close family; it’s not like that these days. Talk to them. Enjoy each other, socialize, gather.
That’s a bunch of NOPE!!! I wouldn’t be able to handle the intentional disregard of my plans or the behavior of the sister. The stopping by unannounced… I’ve had that ALOT with my own family. But when they purposefully ruin your plans that they are very well aware of, “NOPE! You gotta go I have things to do, people to see and yes it’s more important than you rn. Bye.” You can always lock your door and keep it locked and not answer it 
Personally I’d be NOPE-ing tf out, bags packed and all. Duces dude 
You’re not crazy, and your feelings are valid. I hope therapy helps, but you need to have someone on your side. If he isn’t going to stick up for you now, he may not do it later. Boundaries are healthy to have. I don’t like when people show up unannounced either.
Get out now if he taking their side he always will apron string hasn’t been cut get away from him them tell sister and him grow the fuck up stop acting like 2 year olds and act like supposed adults they are this is not healthy
It’s your house. They shouldn’t be going through your food or napping at yours. That’s what you do at your house.
I would set boundaries and if your partner can’t back you up then say your going to leave. You can’t live like that and be a walking mat for them to do whatever they like.
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Since he is not on your side , I hope you don’t plan on marrying him
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I wouldn’t marry him unless he put your relationship and feelings first
If your fiancé isn’t respecting how you feel about it then, you may want to reevaluate your relationship. If you marry into this mess it will only get worse. Set healthy boundaries. Y’all need to tell everyone that if they come by unannounced that they will not be let in.
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If he can’t give you that, it may be time to move on. Don’t marry into a toxic family.
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It doesn’t sound like it’s going to get any better
Run, don’t walk, it will never change. If he won’t stand with you now, he never will.
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It won’t get any better,if he can’t back you up now,he never will.
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Get out of that family now!!! RUN !!!
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They will never change.
Marriage won’t change the situation. Sounds like his loyalty will always be with his family.
Is this what you want for the rest of your life?
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Boundries!! They have to have boundries! If they cannot then have your fiance talk to them. You better nip this in the bud now or forever be aggravated.
Sounds like you need to leave the whole family. Fiancé included! Cause I promise it won’t ever change
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Curse them all the fuck out. Tell them to fucking leave and if he doesn’t go with your wishes tell him to gtfo. Boundaries are completely needed in every single relationship and family.
My husband’s family and I didn’t hit it off right away. I love them now like their my actual parents and I think they feel the same about me. Also hide the food. I have a teenager and he would eat out of house and home if I didn’t lol 
It will get worse if you have kids. If fiance doesn’t stick up for you now, I doubt he ever will. Been there.
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Respect and communication is key. If he can’t and the family can’t either. Get out. All it does is make things worse. Unless you stand your ground and open their eyes (which from experience, it just makes you the issue) get out while you can. No respect. No communication. (You can’t have communication without understanding) no reason. Love is love and it’s hard and it sucks. But get out and make a better life for you and any children involved (wasn’t mentioned but it’s on a mamas page so assumption.)
Get clear of it while you can!
If your fiance sees nothing wrong with it than lose him. He has to be the one to do it since he won’t let you. Sounds like he isn’t…sooooo…
Imagine being through this now and having a baby on top of it in the future. RUN SIS
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Run as fast as you can! Don’t look bad!
If your fiancé can’t see the problem run! It will only get worse when/if you have kids
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It appears the writing is on the wall, if your fiancee is already siding with his family against you don’t expect things to get better.
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If your fiancé doesn’t stand up for you now- it’s just gonna cause issues later on.
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You aren’t even married and already in counseling??
RUN! Run far, run fast!
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I don’t see it getting any better you need to decide what you want.
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Obviously your fiancé doesn’t respect your boundaries either. 
It sounds like he comes from a really close family and this is the type of thing that they do. Either you can accept it or find someone who is not as close to their family.
Mmmmmmm. Girl. You are absolutely crazy if you stay in that mess. Run. Now.
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Throw in the towel.Put on Your crown. & last but not least some running Shoes:athletic_shoe:
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Well… It will not get any better ever. RUN…get out fast.
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If my husband wasn’t always on my side, at least in front of other people, I wouldn’t be with him. Same goes for me. In front of anyone, I’m on his side fully. If I think he’s wrong, then I’ll wait until we’re alone to address it. Same goes for him. If he hasn’t changed yet, he probably won’t. He obviously doesn’t care about how this affects you. Only how it affects his mom and sister,and the rest of them. Do you really want to stay with that?
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Send the family stepping and him right with them. NONE of them have any respect for you at all. You think it’s bad now marry him and see just how bad it gets then.
Most ppl would kill for a close family. If you can’t handle that they are a close family don’t join it
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Don’t get married because you marry the family as well.
run, leave the relationship it will only get worse
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I’d say get away from fiance and all. Throw the whole family away and find something new
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If I could do it all over again, I would’ve run. Learn from others who knew better, but didn’t leave… RUN. It doesn’t get better, only worse. And if you ever have kids with him, kiss your sanity goodbye.
Good luck, be brave!
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This is TOXIC! If a man doesn’t have the COURAGE and be a man enough to stand up for you, you got to LEAVE! This is a waste of time! You’ll always run to the same problem Because his family ain’t gonna change for you. You’ll live a disaster life. Sorry.
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Tell em to eat shit LOL
God, they can’t get pissy when you already have plans🤦🏻♀️ this shit’s painful, sorry you’re going through it
Don’t marry that man, you will regret it.
Hon you better find your boxes and running shoes now! If after this long he doesn’t stand up for you. You just move on. Sorry it is happening this far into engagement.
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Get out now. If your partner doesn’t support you n your healthy boundaries n privacy now he never will. Only get worse once children in the mix. RUN 
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Yikes. Don’t marry him. That will get much worse 
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See if that happens in my house personally I would say if u sleep here cleanup after urself along with putting food back in fridge or pantry. Like I have kids too so do not take from them and teach them to be respectful and responsible. I wouldn’t care my house is a safe place but over stay your welcome or cross boundaries than things will change. And my fiance and I are on the same page if I say something he will enforce it because we are a team. Family or not if it causes us to have issues we fix the issue and have no more problems.
Get out now… not worth it
His family will remain his family forever. It sounds like he already sides with them. He will probably continue to do so even after your marriage. You need to get out while you can. Marriage wont solve the toxic relationship he has with his family.
I would not marry into this 
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I sacrificed 4 years to a relationship where my fiance would not defend me when his family started shit with us. Knowing what i know now i would never have gotten into the relationship. Sit down and have a talk with him. If hes not willing to set boundaries with his family he needs to go
You are NOT crazy for wanting to set boundaries. My sister and I are 7 years apart and when my parents divorced obviously my mom had to go to work. And my sister stepped up with me and we did everything together and I always had her at my side. Then one day she came home from work and announced she was getting married. Everyone was so happy for her but i was pissed. How could she just up and leave me alone. I started therapy thinking I was right and she was wrong just to up and get married and move out. We were such a close knit family. Well boy was I wrong after going thru therapy she moved on like you are suppose to do and she set boundaries which I first thought was ridiculous as she was my sister first I had every right to see her whenever I wanted regardless of plans she had with her husband. But I was so wrong and as soon as I learned how very wrong I was and respected the boundaries. We became close again and now my brother in law will take it upon himself to invite me over for dinner or whatever. Boundaries are a great thing and I never thought I would say that. But your Fiancée definitely has to be on the same page as you are with the boundaries or its not gonna work. And once you have kids they will never leave or respect a boundary if they dont start now.
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From experience, it’s not going to stop. And u deciding to want a healthy lifestyle he needs to jump on board or else he’s with the b.s. too. If you stay, you are showing them they have control over u mentally.
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Girl why continue engaged smh I would have left right away sounds to me like you know where you stand with your fiance and his family
Run! Run fast! Don’t look back don’t second guess it, just Run!
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It will never get better. If you continue with the marriage, this will be the rest of your life. If they can’t respect the smallest boundaries that require little to no effort, they will not respect the big boundaries.
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If you need advice about this, there’s so many more things you need to fix about you. And that’s ok. But girl… he’s not the one
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You need to get out of that relationship asap. Run for your peace… Speaking of experience… As soon as you get married more problems will come then I are already committed.
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Lock the doors. Change the locks if necc., tell them to leave and go do your plans. Personally this is not a healthy family that I’d want to be involved in. It will be a lifelong battle for normal boundaries.
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Do not get married. Thats it.
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Lock and sit in front of the door and state I have asked that they not stop by everyday I deserve some peace and alone time and until you start to take my feelings into consideration they will not be allowed in while I’m here
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If he isnt going to side with you over healthy boundaries then leave.
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If he isn’t on your side, then run away quickly! He won’t be when you’re married!
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If your fiancé won’t stick up for you then I would run away as fast as possible. It will only get worse! Imagine having children with him and his family trying to tell you how to raise them. It won’t end well if he isn’t willing to set boundaries and have your back.
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Nope, run girl! I’ve been there done that. It doesnt get better.
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Ok now wait … you have been together 3 years and now engaged 4 month … now you want boundaries set … why now why not say something when you moved in and them showing up all the time … if you didn’t have problems before the ring you shouldn’t have problems now … it sounds to me that now that you git him where you wanted your trying to control him / his family maybe he should run 
and make it fast
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Time to go…of he is siding with his family then the signs are pretty clear. A little back story of my own…sorry if long, but may help:) I made the mistake of siding with my family when my boyfriend, (husband now for 23 years) first got together…biggest mistake of my life! My entire family turned out to be trash and manipulative, yet always came to me when they needed help, money, etc. Nope! I was the one that ended up having a successful life and marriage, with two wonderful boys, all the while their lives turned out for the worse and they got every bit of karma they deserved! I was always the black sheep because I never conformed to their ways and my husband would not let them manipulate me. I will always be grateful for him sticking by me thru the crap until I finally had to cut all ties and was the best decision I ever made.
If he is not supporting you now and defending you so early on in the relationship, do not waste your time girl. My family was a bunch of narcissists and I broke a lot of cycles and developed trust issues that took quite some time to deal with and overcome. Please do some thinking and have a serious conversation with him.
If the situation now do not go forward with marriage plan. Get outside help for yourself and move on.
If your fiance is mad at you now, he always will be when you stand up to his family. When you marry someone you marry the family too. This won’t ever get better, especially if your fiance doesn’t back you. Imagine dealing with that for the next 50 years. Imagine your future children being subjected to it. Imagine them undermining you at every step. Throw away the whole family, fiance included, and start all over. It’s not worth it. If you marry him you’ll be miserable and have you boundaries trampled the rest of your life. Run and don’t look back.
(I’m speaking from experience.)
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Holy hell, change the locks 
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Start making sure your walking around naked all the time. To hell with it. Its your house. If they dont like it then they can leave.
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I think it’s great that you’re going to therapy! You both definitely need to set some boundaries with his family.
If he doesn’t want to change things then I would sit him down and give him an ultimatum. Ask him how he would feel if the roles were reversed - how would he feel if you were putting your family before him, and they were over at your place all the time.
If he is putting his family before you now, and not setting any boundaries, it will only get harder once you get married. Plus, if you decide to have children with him his family will probably feel even more entitled to stopping by and wanting access to your children.
You are not crazy and they do sound toxic. Sorry you’re going through this and I hope things turn around for you!
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Dump him. He’s not weaned off the breast yet and he doesn’t want solid food or to be a grown man. Sorry.
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You already have your answer and you need to get out of the situation it’s toxic and it’s only going to get worse
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Not asking for too much, just asking it of the wrong guy/family!
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I need to know the ice cream story
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If hes not supporting you now, he never will, do you want that for your life?
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