So me and my fiance have been together for six years engaged for two years and haven’t really put a date to it until now we have two beautiful children together, and we plan to get married within two years, my MIL is fuming because she wants it earlier as in 4 months for both sides of grandparents to be there, but unfortunately financially we can’t afford it to be any earlier as we both work hard and cannot pay for everything plus the wedding in 4 months, but we’ll financially be stable if we stick to the wedding being in 2 years. She has stated if we do it within four months, she’ll attend if not she said not to bother sending an invitation… Although my partner says, he doesn’t care I see it in his body language and moods every time I bring the wedding up he’s feeling guttered how do I approach my MIL to make her realize it can’t also be done she is really hard-headed, and every time I suggest anything it’s an automatic word war with her, and I tend just to let things be thank you.
Call her bluff… she’ll go in 2 years.
She can pay for it, if she wants it sooner.
Is she wanting it done before grandparents pass? I get that. Can a small just family only ceremony be done at a church or small place?
I’m sure she will attend either way
Maybe she could help pay for it
It’s not about her. If she can make it , cool. If not send pics. Forget her. This is your day.
Tell her to pay for it then, or your bills lol
Don’t invite her. Sje will make ur wedding about her
Tell her if she wants it in 4 months she can pay for it if not she can hush
Unless she’s paying for it. It’s your wedding not hers
Tell her tough shit and do whats best for you
eesh. She pays for it or it just won’t happen her way. I feel for your soon to be Husband, that is hard.
Tell her that unless she plans to pay for it, it will be in 2 years. And don’t discuss it with her anymore!
Send her the bill lol
Tell her to mind her own business!
Have a very small close family ceremony.
Tell her that’s fine. You don’t accept ultimatiums about your life. If she doesn’t come, that’s her choice.
If she’s not paying for the wedding, she can have a seat.
If she wants it sooner tell her to flip the bill if not. her loss
She can pay for it if she wants when she wants. If not sorry for ya
Tell her to back off, sad that the grandparents might not make it til the wedding, but that’s life…
And I wouldn’t want a tantrum chucking 2 yo like that in my wedding even if it is the MIL… Send her photos instead of an invitation
I agree with Dervisa Hrustic, if she wants it that soon then let her pay for it. If it’s coming out of your guys pockets take your time and do it how you want it. If she has an issue that’s on her. I’d just remind her that even if it isn’t in the time frame she wants that’s still her son and he’d be upset if she isn’t there. If that doesn’t work just tell her you’ll find her the crappest nursing home to put her as soon as you can lol JK jk (only about the last part (; )
Do not cave or the demands will never end.
Tell her if she wants it that soon then she needs to pay for it… if not to stfu you and him set a date for a reason
Tell her to pay for it if she wants it in 4 months.
ask her to help pay if she wants it in four months… we did ours in like 8 and it’s been hard financially but we lost my MIL unexpectedly and we didn’t want to lose anyone else so we picked a date that was as soon as possible and we liked.
I would ignore it. Dont let someone bring down your day, if she wants to threaten not to come, then bye. This is not about her, period.
Do it your way. It’s your day.
Tell her that she’s welcome to foot the bill.
Tell her to pay for it all or shut up.
She sounds very selfish! If she wants it any sooner tell her to pay for it. If not then she can wait. Don’t send her an invitation! Simple as that.
Why get merred just do common law as long as you have been togethet
Elope! You’ve been together and have kids why spend the money on a big wedding? Have a party,have it within 4 months. Save money , everyone can come , problem solved! Shouldn’t have to cost an arm and a leg
I think she’s just saying not to send her an invite as a threatening tactic to get her way. Watch, in 2 years when you have your wedding and if you didn’t send her a invite she would flip. She’s gonna be there for her son whenever you guys decide to tie the knot. In the mean time my advice would be for you to have your fiancé handle her, and don’t entertain her threats or stress about it. If she were offering to pay that would be one thing but to expect you guys to get into debt to please her, is a big no. Especially if you already have a game plan to get married in two years. Plus, if you give in on this she’ll try to control your guys whole future together. The wedding is about you guys! She’s just gonna have to get over it, and she will! Good luck and congrats!
Unless she can pay for all the stops, then she needs to cool her jets as it sounds like you are all wanting a traditional celebration. I just got married at the courthouse. Signed papers. That was it. Nothing special, just paperwork and $35. Probably a better money saver.
Your day your choice.
Honestly, my side of the family was like this too. So much pressure for a different way, a different place, date, etc. We ended up eloping at City Hall. Not saying you should do that, but you should stick to your plan and have it on you and your partners terms. They all forgave us in the end anyways. It’s nobody elses day, don’t cater to others, esp for this
Then dont send her an invite 
Go to the courthouse and get married so the grandparents and both sides can be there and have a big wedding in 2 years.
And next it will be you have to have it at this location or I’m not going ,than it will be if you invite them than I’m not going …ect ect ect …its your wedding not hers .you do it when ,where,how you want not what she wants
Tell her if she wants it to be in 4 months that she can pay for everything.
If she wants it then,then she can pay for it. If you cower to her now she will never give you any peace.
Tell her if she wants it then she can pay for it! Credit cards are like 20% interest and up so you will pay for it twice over if you put it on one.
Tell her to open purse wide!! Dont let her dictate How things go… It’ll never stop!
Oh well that’s her problem not yours. Still send one if she shows she shows it’s not your fault. It’s your wedding
Tell her 4 months sounds good to you. Then ask her how much of it she plans on paying for as a gift to you and your husband.
Have a huge party where everyone is invited! Announce at the party that you’re already married, as you both decided to elope! Then after the party when everyone has settled down the two of you go on holiday over the summer and elope for real! So naughty, yet romantic! Xx
It’s your wedding not hers
Screw them all and elope. That’s what my hubby and I did. Nobody could shut their mouths about our planning, so we just went to the county records office here in town and got married by the justice of the peace. My friend, her son, and my oldest who was 9 months old were our only witnesses lol
I would let her know how she is hurting her son
Your wedding your choice
Remind her nicely that it’s you and your fiancé wedding not hers. If she was paying for it she would have a say. If it means the world to both of you to have the grandparents there… go to the court house with them and have them be the witnesses
If she’s gonna be a big baby about it, then she can pay for it. If not, then don’t send her an invite. Stand your ground. It’s your wedding and your money. Not hers. I’d piss everyone off and go get married in Vegas by Elvis
Honestly, if she wants a full wedding done in 4 months, then she needs to pay for it. ALL OF IT. Put her money where her mouth is.
If she is going to be so petty as to not even attend at all she has no business being around. Sorry for being so blunt but how dare she try and pull that crap. She is self absorbed and cares about no one but herself. How can you just tell your son, a person you grew inside of you for 9 months, that if you don’t move one of the happiest days of your life to the date I decide, don’t bother inviting me. Forget that self absorbed jerk and the manipulative games she plays with you. I’m sure it’s not the first time she played the do it or else card with you both.
I agree with everyone else. If she wants it sooner, she can pay for it. Is she aware of why you’re choosing to wait two years? If she knows you literally cannot afford it any sooner & the financial stress it will cause and is still being this petty, then seems to me she’s a shit person who I wouldn’t want at my wedding anyway. But I understand the want for peace as she is your fiance’s mother. Unfortunately all you can do is make your reasons for waiting clear and hope she at some point before the wedding starts thinking like a rational human being again. Or just show her the comments on this post 
Welp, looks like she’s not getting an invite then 🤷
Your wedding isn’t about her and I wouldn’t cave. You start caving to what she wants now and it’ll only get worse
Oh well, her loss. Of she loved her son then she’d be there no matter what
Don’t sacrifice your financial stability and happiness for your mother in law
If she wants it sooner, tell her to foot the bill. Otherwise shut her mouth & wait! 
sorry that sounds rude.
It’s your wedding. Do what makes you happy. She’ll get over it
Maybe she will help?
wow. nope.
If she wants to dictate when it happens, then she gets to pay for it.
And otherwise she can kick rocks.
She sounds like a narcissist, trying to use emotional abuse to control her son. It’s flat out wrong, and I wouldn’t give in, as she will try to direct every decision and try to upstage you on your wedding day.
If you guys are happy with how things are why rush it?
In my opinion that’s Y’ALLS decision to make, period. Doesn’t matter what anyone else wants you to do! F that
I guess shes not coming to the wedding her loss
It’s not her Wedding! Naturally you want your grandparents there. Stick to your plan. YOU AND YOUR FIANCÉ KNOW WHAT YOU WANT. DON’T CAVE. No one can predict the future of the grandparents and with any plan we hope for the best.
If she wants it in four months… she pays, simple.
if not then she can suck it up cant she.
Tell her to pay for it if she wants it done in 4 months…
My husbands parents threw the same BS at us cos my husbands sister was not a bridesmaid. He was so devo he came over to my place where my parents said to him it’s their loss, we will still be there. His parents ended up coming to the wedding. They have been painful people. The manipulation won’t end here. Stay strong in ur decision. It’s ur wedding not hers
Emotional blackmail. She’s not a good mother. Tell her your happy to get married in four months if she can pay for it, Put her money where her mouth is, tell her if she can’t then she needs to keep her opinions to herself I need to come to the wedding or don’t come to the wedding it’s her choice but you can’t afford to do it in four months, put the ball back in her court
It’s your wedding hun
I had a coworker who had a similar situation where a family member would probably not be alive to be at a wedding in a couple years. They did a small intimate ceremony with just immediate family and a small dinner after. Then later when they had saved up the money they did another wedding and reception with everyone invited like they wanted.
Tell her if SHE wants YOUR wedding in 4 months, SHE has to pay for it.
You can’t convince her of anything. You and your man focus on you and your family. If she chooses not to come, that’s her fault.
If she wants a wedding in 4 months, SHE can pay for it.
Tell her she will have to pays if it’s to be in 4 months if she can’t then it’s time for her to mind her own business…
If she wants it in 4 months then SHE pays for 100% of it. Otherwise she needs to stay in her lane.
There’s no questioning needed. “YOUR WEDDING” solves all of this. If she wants it that fast then she can pay. Simple.
So she can pay for it then? Pretty simple
If she wants it done in 4 months, tell her fine, then let her know the budget you have and let her know she can give you cash or provide her with the vendor info so she can pay them directly. She wants it done so soon, she can foot the bill. Maybe putting it that way will help her understand. 
Tell her if she’s paying for it she can pick the date. If not then she needs to butt out
Tell her that unless SHE is going to pay for it, she needs to shut her mouth.
It’s your wedding don’t let her bully you to get what she wants it her loss
Make her pay for it then
Do a court house wedding. So much easier and way cheaper. You both can dress nice, have pictures and everything and then do a big family bbq or dinner later on. That way he’s not pulled between two very important women in his life. Check out Pinterest there’s great court house ideas.
Tell her to pay for it or shut up and don’t come
Okay I can see her reasoning… Especially if you and him have elderly family. They may not be alive to see you get married. Other than that I don’t see an issue with the two year thing. And everyone seems to want an extravagant 20,000 plus wedding. Keep it simple and since she wants it so bad she can pay for it. My uncle and Aunt spent roughly 300 dollars on their wedding. You don’t have to spend more than 1500 on a wedding. I’ve planned one before! And David’s bridal has the most affordable gowns, and they are always running sales on dresses!
It’s your day not hers but if she wanted I would tell her to pay for the whole thing if not the it will be in 2 years and she will be the one that feels bad if she don’t go in a couple years
Just let things be. Don’t send an invitation. Just follow your and your fiance’s plan. Unless of course she can come up with the money to completely pay for the exact wedding you are planning and saving for.
Tell her if she wants it in 4 months, she can pay for it. Are you sure you want to marry into this insanity?
If she’s so stubborn about the date suggest she help pay! Or go to the courthouse do that grandparents can “see” you get married and then have larger ceremony on your schedule.
It’s not her wedding and she isn’t paying for it, so she has NO say as to when it will be. If she doesn’t come to your wedding, it’s definitely her loss.
Tell mommy inlaw to flip the bill
get registry married next month with just the grandparents…no inlaws if you really want get back at MIL then have your proper wedding wiith everyone in 2 years…seriously though stick to your guns. It is your day and there is always going to be some reason MIL wants things done her way.
If she wants it to be done so badly that soon tell her she can pay for it. And if she can’t afford it then she should understand why you’re waiting.
She handled her wedding. You will handle your wedding. You bow to her demands now, she will own you. Tell her she will be missed at the wedding, anyone asks why, you’ll simply be refreshing honest as to her demands.
Just always remember IT’S YOUR WEDDING!
Keep it simple instead of putting out thousands of dollars for one day. Family being there would mean more to me than expensive decor, food and whatever else.