Wow this is so sad, I feel for the husband.
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This is sick and women need to quit playing with men’s/children’s lives like this! That is way too much power and absolutely disgusting! He is already legally responsible because they’re married and he is obviously on the birth certificate. What a sick thing to do to someone! It should be a crime to knowingly do this BS!
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Why does she want the other dude in the babies life after they agreed the husband would raise him? She belongs to the streets
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She needs to grow some and stop playing around. She needs to tell her husband that she was quick to get laid when they split up and the baby isn’t his. This marriage seems full of deceit and lies… Like what happens in a few years when they split up again and she’s like this ain’t yours btw… The child and husband will be just as crushed.
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There is no way around it but to tell him
If the child ever gets into trouble, works a federal job, joins ancestry, it will come out. My 1st cousin is in his 50’s and found out his dad who since passed wasn’t his dad and his bio sibling found him through ancestry. Sadly, his bio dad has also passed away. In the age of internet, DNA, etc. it will come out eventually. Don’t wait until the child is grown and finds out this way. It’s so cruel and selfish.
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Sorry, I’m seriously doing my best not to judge but I can’t even help it.
Separated from husband and she goes back pregnant (and knows it). If they were both sincerely trying to work things out, she’s off to a horrible start because there’s SOMETHING in between separated and moving back in that has to resemble addressing their past issues. But she PURPOSELY withheld a GIANT CURRENT issue so she wasn’t even honest about trying to work things out.
I do NOT buy that she waited to tell him because she wanted to make sure she didn’t miscarry again ESPECIALLY since she has already miscarried and there’s no way she’s keeping that from him and she knows it. So please stop trying to sell the didn’t want to hurt him with another miscarriage because if it WAS his, she certainly wouldn’t keep it from him for that reason.
She needs to tell him and accept the consequences. And she needs to do it now. This man has been bonding with this baby for 3 months already. The longer she waits, the more he will hurt. Ironically that point negates her excuse of trying to spare him if she miscarried because losing a living, breathing baby is worse especially after you have bonded.
She’s rethinking her lie because she wants bio dad to help support the kid she’s trying to pass off as her husband’s and that’s the bottom line. I feel bad for both of these guys as well as this poor innocent baby. She’s putting herself above all of them. Not the kind of morals I would want to pass along to my kid.
How to go about it? I don’t know… sky writing? Maybe a telegraph or postcard? A text, maybe? Is this even really a question? You sit down with your husband and say, “I am so sorry but when we got back together last year, I was already pregnant. You are not the biological father. I am so wrong. I know I should have told you as soon as I knew. You don’t deserve this and I don’t deserve the love and support you’ve shown me for the last year”. Then wait for the divorce papers to be served
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Your friend is a BIG…
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Very hard not to judge but a relationship built on such major dishonesty will surely founder.
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What’s best for the baby in this scenario???
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Whatever the reasons, it is still infedility, unfaithfulness an act of deception, normal Christian detest. If you are not a Christian, morally, you.are in the wrong side.
Nevertheless, GOOD LUCK ,!
What. The. Fu€|《
I have nothing nice to say 
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I’m sure there is way more to this story and all these women on her saying how horrible this women is is sooo wrong they was separated and who knows for how long and I’m sure the husband isn’t innocent in this either we are all human and make mistakes. Honey tell your friend just to be honest with her husband and tell him what happen either way it’s going to be a hard conversation I’ll be keeping y’all in my prayers
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Look… here’s the thing. Harsh but I’m gonna just say it.
If she wants bio dad in the baby’s life SHE IS NOT OVER HIM! Dude will “step up 100%” if things change. They are still in contact and neither wants to give each other up. It’s only a matter of time before bio dad has enough and the cat get let out of the bag. Fix it now before any harm is done to that poor child.
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Your friend is a piece of crap and I hope he leaves her
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She can throw a reveal party for him. Be like," Surprise you aren’t the daddy!" With balloons and confetti 
I’m sure it will be memorable. Dont forget to take pictures.
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The time to say something was when you first found out you were pregnant. Your husband has bonded with this child and you want to take that away because you feel guilty and can’t cope with the child . Your husband and child deserve better
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Umm she should’ve said something when she found out she was pregnant wth why is this even a question. Obviously she need needs to tell him and now.
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There is no easy way but must be told. It should of never been hid. If she went back to work on marriage she left out critical pieces. Trust, honesty and communication.
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She needs to say something now before her husband becomes more attached. She needs to move out and find somewhere to live. The fact that the real dad is ok another man raising his child speaks volumes. That poor kid
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She wants to say something because she needs help?? What the h3ll!!! She needs to step up and be a real mom. I did it while my then husband ran a business and ran around on me, all while working full time. I have no empathy for her.
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She should been honest from the start thats shitty and shady as fuck.
Also tbh stop lying we all know “the friend” is you. Be honest with your hubby and go raise the baby with its real dad. Smfh
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How did she go the wholeeee pregnancy and not say anything? The guilt would eat me alive
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If she doesn’t tell him, the chance remains that he’ll find out some other way. Better to hear it from her now than to find out their blood types don’t match or the real dad changes his mind about keeping quiet. He’d probably much rather hear it from her than discover on his own.
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sure the " friend " 
gotcha
Ummmm so she was ok with the husband thinking it’s his . But now the husband works alot to provide for them . And now she needs what help changing diapers . So she wants to bring in the bio dad cause she can’t do the mom tasks 
She should of said something from the beginning. Or maybe not of slept around while still married 
And no good man would be ok with having someone else raise there kid. That just shows she was not important to him and it was just sex. And he doesn’t want the responsibility of there irresponsible selves 
poor kid is gonna be so messed up when it comes to a daddy
Wow. I don’t have an answer. That’s tough. Hope she figures it our for everyone’s sake.
She should prolly seek help if she allowed her HUSBAND to think that child was his. That was her intent from the beginning clearly and how can a mother not care for one child on her own while “dad” is working his ass off to provide. Seems like she’s seeking something more than help with the baby smh. I feel bad for her husband. Hopefully he finds someone who truly loves him🖤
The correct time would have been the time go decided to give it a go again and been honest.
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Wat happen to birth control?
The longer she waits the worse it will be. If she needs help with the baby due to this man working to support her that would be the wrong reason to involve the biological father. That sounds like some pretty scummy choices.
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Tell him. Both he & the baby deserve to know the truth
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He needs the truth !
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I’m sure deep in his heart he already knows the truth… Maybe he loves the baby as his own already. But it’s best to be honest to continue a healthy relationship. Good luck and congratulations on your baby.
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Wait…. So she only wants to fess up because she needs child support? Tf. This is just messed up all the way around.
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Her ships sailed on saying something at the right time, if she’d just been honest at the beginning… And now it sounds like she only wants to be honest because the other guy has more to offer… Pass hubby a note to get a DNA test if she won’t do the right thing.
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She needs to tell her husband now and if he decides to stay with her, that’s on him. To make a person think a child is theirs, when it’s someone else’s, is beyond disgusting! The child should also know who their real Father is. Your friend needs to stop being selfish and do the right thing!
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With him or not they were still married, a seperation does not give her a free pass to garden tool around marriage vowls are sacred and should be honored. She needs to take responsibility like an adult for her actions that led up to this. She knew the consequences when she returned home and still tried to play house under false pretenses.
Does she have a half porch too???
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Why don’t you put your name in English
Difficult situation you got that right.Confusing you better tell him now.The father of the baby wants to get involved.Good luck with this.
My partner recently found out his daughter is not his biological daughter he raised her for 8 years believing she was his. It absolutely devastated him to find out so late. Your better off telling him now dont wait to long
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She needs to tell him. Now. I grew up thinking one man was my father and found out at 34 a whole different man entirely was my father. What makes it even worse? Neither man knew the truth and the man presumed to be my father paid my mother child support for 14 years for me. Keeping that kind of secret is unforgivable. It not only hurts the man raising the chikd but it will hurt your kid as well.
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Truth is always the way.
So your friend is a manipulative self serving liar who is using her husband.
You’re way too involved in a very bad woman’s drama. Stay out of it and pick better friends
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Wow just wow… that’s slinky, she should of told him when she returned if she knew she was preggo. She’s disgusting 
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… sounds like she only wants him to know so she can have more help. This entire story is so off-putting. I feel sorry for the baby already.
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Wow should of done it as soon as she found out she was pregnan!
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Perhaps she could start by telling him that while they were separated she was seeing someone so they should get a DNA test to check whose baby it is.
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Well somebody really screwed the pooch in this deal, didn’t they? Your husband deserves to know the truth. Period. Every day that passes by and you haven’t told him - it will only be exponentially worse when he does finally find out. Telling him the truth doesn’t necessarily mean anything within the “home life” has to change. Not only will you be telling him the truth - you’re removing the monkey off your back after telling him an array of secrets you’ve kept quiet. Now is the time. Clear the air with him. Be prepared that he won’t respond well to the Daddy news. Sometimes “I’m sorry” just isn’t enough. Sometimes, when the trust is gone - it’s just gone. You left yourself wide open here. The only thing you can do is stand up straight, maintain eye contact, apologize and “take one on the chin.” If nothing else, consider it a Life Lesson that you’re going to be responsible for a child and all of their needs - for the next 20+ years.
Yeah, because if you have a DNA test afterwards, you will be ostracized by your family.
She needs to tell her husband immediately. It’s cruel to make this man bond with a child that isn’t his. What’s been done already with the lying and schemes behind his back is bad enough, don’t put him through any more.
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Talk about dumb as hell and she may as well walk out and go to the real daddy of said baby . Why keep two men on a leash for the sake of a child . Quite immature and she should be ashamed of herself for letting it go on as long as it has been. SMH
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She needs to put her big woman panties on and do what she needs to do. Sit him down and explain what happened. Then she needs to understand that she may lose him after that.
People seriously need to start being grown and be accountable for their actions. It’s pretty obvious even to her surely on what and how she needs to do it.
Stop beating around the bush because the longer she waits the more hurt he’ll be. Let the poor man know geez.
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She should have told him prior to giving birth. My sister did this to her husband as well except she cheated and made her husband believe it was his. Waited a year before it came out. She should put herself in her husband’s shoes. Imagine being there through the whole pregnancy and the birth of a child you think is yours. Seeing your child be born you instantly fall in love with that child… and have grown to love that child even more over the last 3 months then boom the child isn’t yours. How devastating 
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Why doesn’t she just get a DNA test done with the other guy, that way if it’s his, she can tell her husband & if it’s not his, she doesn’t have to say anything & will save a lot of hurt feelings. She should’ve been honest from the start though. Her reasoning behind wanting to finally come clean is super selfish, that poor baby.
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I hope she’s ready for a divorce cause that’s fucked up on her part
Honesty is the best policy, some people shouldn’t be allowed to breed!
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Your “friend” sounds like a manipulator money isn’t good so she wants to leave n telling him it’s not his kid would be an easy way of him leaving her instead of her saying we have no money I can’t do this anymore.
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This is why it’s on the top of mens worst fears cuz of chicks like “your friend”
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Man, you have a shit friend. She is selfish and self serving. So she wanted nothing to do with the other guy and now that her husband isn’t doing things the way she likes, she wants the other one involved after already getting him to agree to buzz off?!? And now you’re on here asking for help? I think my advise is not going to be what you asked for. Think you are way too invested in a shit person
I would do a DNA with the other person but the husband needs to know as well so do DNA wait for results then have someone watch baby sit husband down telk him…it’s going yo hurt him and baby doesn’t need to be there. …
Be prepared to loose husband
This is why people get fed up with baby mama’s… 
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Do it today get it over with, the longer she waits the worse it’ll be and it’s already pretty bad so prepare yourself
l Get paid over $111 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $14419 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Go to This. https://DollarPayDay38.pages.dev/
If you can’t be honest I’m your relationship there’s no relationship to begin with period. That’s just something you don’t hide from a person!
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So she only wants to tell him cuz she needs more help with the baby??!
Wow…
I hope her husband leaves her
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First, (almost) any male can become a father … but it takes a MAN to be a dad. It sounds to me like “dad” is doing his best. Second, she is obviously not over her boyfriend. If I was the husband, I’d get a divorce … and run.
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This is why DNA testing should just be done at birth for women like this that wanna trick men
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Just wow 
she needs to fess up , she tricked her husband into believing the baby was his and now only wants to fess up because she needs help caring for the baby ? She sounds immature asf and sounds like she’s not ready to be a mother.
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Is she absolutely positive it’s the other guys?? She should do a DNA test first to make sure her husband is not the father.
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Ask him if he will be the godfather of her baby lol
This is NOT gonna be good either way… She needs to break it to him. But be able to find a place to live just in case…
So she doesn’t wanna fess up out of guilt for quite literally trapping him into raising someone else’s kid, she just wants more help with the said kid. Gross. Your friend needs to own up to her scheming and tell the truth so her husband can decide if he still wants to be involved. I sincerely hope karma come around to bite your friend in the ass though because man does she deserve it😡.
I’m sorry to say cuz I always support our women, but this to me is unbelievably selfish!! Your friend is not being fair to the child, the biological father and then to her husband as well! She is truly wanting to do what is best for her only! She knows what the best thing to do is!!
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Tell this poor man the truth before he gets to attached to this child. And be very ashamed of what you’ve done!
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I hope it turns out to be her husband’s and he leaves her over it. 
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She just needs to tell her husband,& get it over with. Either way, it’s going to hurt. BUT imagine the consequences when the child is older. She’s hurting ALL 3 of the other’s that are involved for her selfish ways.
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Help with the baby? Someone need to work to provide. Do a DNA test before you open your mouth and it’s actually your husband’s baby.
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- She needs to tell her husband the truth, he deserves that. 2. I don’t understand how she ONLY wants to say something because SHE needs help. If this was her husbands baby, what would she do to receive help? She is only thinking about herself at this point, not the baby, not her husband or the actual father.
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So she just wants the dad in the picture for his money?
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Sounds like it’s Springer TIME!!!
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She should have told him BEFORE agreeing to get back together!!! Or atleast when she told him she was pregnant she should have told him there was a possibility it could be someone else’s!!! I’m surprised nobody figured out the dates!
But now you’ve got 2 separate families that are going to be messed up by this incredibly ridiculous decision!
Just because the Bio-Dad is fine with letting another Man raise his child and with letting his own child believe that other Man is the father… what about his family, his parents, siblings, grandparents or his own kids if he has others!!! Don’t they deserve to know they have a new family member??? And what about the husbands family…. They all think this is also their new family member!!! This is most likely going to ruin several relationships!!! As apposed to knowing from day one, that it could possibly be a 50/50 chance! The betrayal and distrust is going to be unfixable!!!
So what exactly is her “struggle”… that she wants the other guy to help with? The way you worded it, “he can’t necessarily provide the support she needs because of his work hours”… sounds like she’s wanting him to ‘physically’ be there???
Like is this going to be an episode of “Brother Husbands”? Does she want to live in a polygamist marriage
She was totally fine with lying and deceiving her husband until she realized having a baby is no easy thing?!?!
NOW she wants the other guy “to be part of”?!?
She’s going to find herself having to be with the Bio permanently.
I doubt the husband is going to be able to mentally stay with her and see “the said child” and not be reminded constantly, about her lies and deception!
She better do it before too much more time goes by… the longer she waits the harder it’s going to be for Everyone she’s deceived.
She should just say that at first it hadn’t really dawned on her but now she’s starting to think the dates/timeline could be a little off and since there is a possibility that it could be another man’s child, they can get an DNA test to find out for sure. And let the husband decide if he’s okay with leaving it like it is or if he wants to know the truth. He may be a Stand-up guy and just not want to know and wants to love her/him as his own…. But either way, it’s ultimately his right, to be told the truth. You see on tv all the time, where men chose to just not tell anyone else and just continue loving and raising the child as his own. But it’s his right to make the best decision for himself. Either way… it needs to be done and she needs to make the Bio pay child support.
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Sure this isn’t you …
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Of course she should say something! He deserves to know and the child deserves to know her biology.It sounds obnoxious that the mom and other guy know this information that is effecting people greatly and are keeping it as their little secret.Selfish.
DNA test all the way and I feel super sorry for the husband in all this! Marriage never works without honesty-the ugly and pretty truths BOTH matter
Do a dna test first …then tell …then you will know for sure…maybe it is his ???
She made her bed ( choice ) now stick with it !!! She can’t string the poor lover along like that !! Its not fair to him ! She chose to go back with hubby and she needs to stick with her choice. Why break his heart just because she doesn’t think he is providing enough for the baby ? What would she do if lover boy wasn’t in the picture ? Make due !!! Quit trying to have your cake and eat it too lady.
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Please tell me her name is not Kayla
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First of all she should have told him from the start that’s awful he deserves to no
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I suggest she tells him from her new home …
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Okay… so they weren’t together. She didn’t cheat, they were not together. Have her get the other man and the baby tested that way they can see if the other dudes a match, if not then the other dude can cut ties and relax and she can not blow up her marriage. I’m just saying if she had cheated while they were together then she’d need to fess up and be like okay this baby might not be yours. But on the off chance the baby is her husband’s why ruin what’s going good now that they’re back together after the separation. I’m js it’s pretty simple to get the other guy and the baby tested. If it’s not his then it’s her husband’s, if it’s dudes then she’s gotta let her husband know and let him decide what he wants to do from there.
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I can’t even speak on the situation. 
Happens but she needs to tell him ASAP
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She sounds like a horrible person. It takes some serious issues to let a main raise a child you know isn’t his. Gross and immature.
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Are u sure its your friend or is it you:joy:
u need help?
That is Fucking Messed up!!!
Immediately it should have been discussed.
She should’ve told him the second they decided to work on things! That’s so wrong. Either way the damage is done now. She needs to step up and tell the truth. Who knows he might still stay and be there for her and baby. Honesty is key in all relationships
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So not cool! not only to either man but the baby also.
Think of the baby. The baby will end up the most hurt ,out of everyone unless this gets sorted asap.
I can understand the fear of telling her husband and with all them extra hormones coursing through her body when she was pregnant . There’s no more excuse now though .
Have to think of that baby needs/feelings before anyone else’s. X
TELL👏🏻HIM👏🏻THE👏🏻TRUTH👏🏻
ESPECIALLY if they’re trying to work it out. It not fair to him or the child. I’m sure even with the husband knowing, the bio father would be willing to not be involved. Don’t wait until this child is grown and destroy their whole world! Hard truths are better than sweet lies. Because the fact is, the sweet lie will eventually sour and you’ll STILL have to tell the truth, but with far more damage. The longer the secret is kept, the more it will be seen as selfish
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This is all kinds of f***d up. Those poor men and baby!
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