So we live next door to what we would call pretty close friends. Our kids are the same age. Go to the same school. Are in the same class. We have been friends with them since before our kids were born. I am a full-time out of the house working mom. She is a stay-at-home mom. Our kids ride the bus together every morning. I have to pay a sitter to come to the house to get my child on and off the bus every day. Never once has she offered to get my child on the bus( she would have my child about 45 mins in the morning before they actually get on the bus). This has been all the school year. If I fall into an emergency and my sitter canât, and I ask her, she says yes, but Iâm just really hurt she has never offered once! Another example. The other day the storm knocked wires down, and the bus couldnât come down our street, so the school asked if I could bring my kid that morning and drop them off. Now I know my friend got the same text and cricketsânothing from her. Knowing I have a sitter who maybe I wouldnât feel comfortable driving my child, she said nothing. Iâm really hurt. I know me, and I know if rolls were reserved, I would of from the beginning said, â Hey, if you ever need help with the bus, let me know. â She has never once offered any kind of help. She also knows how much I struggled to find someone who would drive over every morning for 45 mins and then back a few hours later(half days due to Covid). These are friends we have vacationed with. See you every weekend. The kids play together after school when we are home from work. I just have so much resentment and am having a hard time even looking at her, but I donât know if I should just suck it up and deal with it, say something, or what. Am I overreacting? Itâs not like Iâm asking her to go out of her way. She has to put her own child on the same bus every single morning! My husband is bothered by it, too, but he says we just have to deal with the fact she will never offer. But seriously, what kind of friends is that?! Our kids are soooo close though, too so it makes the situation tricky. I just have a really bat time being as close with her as I was.
You friend is not obligated to help you. You can ask her, but it doesnât mean she has to say yes.
I would straight up say something to her face. I wouldnât even hesitate. If you are that close I would be like, Wtf 
Itâs not her obligation to help with your child.
Itâs not her kids why would u think she would have to helpâŠ
âŠbut you havenât even asked her to help? But the one time you did ask she said yes and helped? Iâm confusedâŠ
Why not just ask her? Offer to pay her what you would pay a sitter⊠Iâm sure she would say yes⊠some people just donât think about it to offer⊠Iâm sure if you asked and offered to pay her what you give a sitter sheâd have no reason not to!
Ummm she isnât responsible for your household logistics or parenting 
Itâs not her responsibility. She has her own obligations to meet, and they need to come first above what you want or âneedâ. Oh, and mornings are insanity.
She might just be stressed with her life and sometimes you just have to ask or mention shit to people cuz they donât take hints or know it is bothering you if you are so close to her you should have no problem being upfront with her and ask her for help when needed and she may think damn my friend has her life together I wonder why she never asks me for help. Some people donât like to offer cuz they might think they are overstepping or something like that
You should not expect anything from someone if they didnât even helped make the child you can ask and pay her instead of a babysitter she can use the money if she is a stay at home mom I would not offer if I knew someone else was being paid to do those things 
ITâs possible she may think if she starts helping that you will make it a habit. If you ask and she does it then donât read more into it. Sheâs probably got her own issues she deals with every day.
I mean I would just ask if she would want to helpâŠ
Umm she isnt responsible for your child. Maybe she doesnât wanna be responsible for your child!! You sound entitled. Get over it.
Stay at home moms are actually pretty busy moms too, but a lot of people donât realize thatâŠjust saying!
Maybe she is like âwow sheâd rather pay someone than ask me?â ⊠I mean did she sound reluctant when you asked her and she said yes? Is your kid a handful. Like I love my best friends daughter but she knows I wonât watch her because sheâs a huge handful and we have different parenting styles. ⊠if sheâs truly your friend you should be able to talk about it
Just ask her. She doesnât have to offer anything. These are your kids and you need to figure it out and if something happens ask donât expect it from them.
As much as it would be good for you, help you, and be convenient, she doesnât owe you anything. She doesnât have to offer you help or anything.
Why do you think she owes this to you? You are the one whoâs not making any sense
There is no obligation to a child thats not hers. If you want help ASK for it. You are NOT entitled to have people responsible for your kid.
Your kid isnât her responsibility. If you want help, ask. honestly I donât even see how you could be mad if you asked and she said no. Your kid is your responsibility. You canât just force your responsibilities on others.
Itâs not her responsibility to watch your child.
If u want her help, u need to ask her. Ur child is not her responsibility.
Itâs not her responsibility. Get over it.
Just ask her lol. How is she supposed to read your mind some women donât feel comfortable asking that question at all unless offered to them.
Wow you are so entitled. Take care of your own kid and leave people alone. Itâs not her problem you work like the rest of the world. Figure it out.
She has ZERO obligation to help you. Youâre over reacting by being upset she doesnât offer, ask her for help but donât take advantage, just because she is a stay-at-home mom does not mean that she doesnât have obligations of her own her concern is her family if you need help you ask her donât get mad that she doesnât offer.
You sounds a little entitled. 
Coming from someone who is the same. Offer before they have to ask. Make them feel itâs okay to ask. I think our expectations of others is too high. People arenât as caring. Family, friends⊠It doesnât matter. It does hurt for someone close watch you struggle and not try to help. Unfortunately, husband is right. Sheâs not going to come out of the blue. Unless you are willing to say something, lower your expectations of people. It will hurt less when they turn their heads.
This sounds like a YOU problem that is completely one sided. I bet if you asked, sheâd do it.
I just⊠never expect things from people.
Ever. THATS how you get disappointed, let down, and fights start.
Grow up, and ask her.
The answer will always be no unless you ASK.
Alison Wolcott 
are we supposed to be offering eachother? What kind of friend are you??? 
Do you ever offer to watch her kid? Why donât you ask her if she would mind watching your kid? Itâs not her job to watch your kid and itâs also not realistic to think people, family or friends, to just offer up helpâŠalso, just because she is a stay at home mom doesnât mean she has time to watch other peopleâs kids but Iâm sure if you asked her to help you with your kid she would make it work.
So hereâs a weird perspective. Maybe she just doesnât want any more kids to be responsible for Maybe sheâs struggling
I donât like anyoneâs kids but my own!!! I would offer but I would HATE it! Maybe she just isnât as polite as meâŠ
Why dont you offer to pay her what you pay the sitter?? If she accepts, great and if she refuses dont be pissed. Kids are a huge responsibility!!!
As a stay at home mom, Iâll be nice when I say this. WE ACTUALLY DO WORK! And often have a routine. Your child being at her house for 45 minutes may disrupt everything. Also, it seems as if you want her to volunteer for this job. Like you have no intention to offer money for her services.
Sheâs not a mind reader! Just ask her. But she doesnât have to say yes and it doesnât make her a bad person if she says no. She isnât responsible for your children. Do you ever to help her?
Not everyone wants extra people running around their house in the morning. But you canât expect people to be mind readers, no one has to offer to do anything for you.
Is this a real question like for real I seen some really dumb things on this page man this one tops the cake⊠why in the hell would your friend / neighbor be responsible for your child
She doesnât have to offer she has her own child. If you havenât asked her or offered to pay her then it sounds like your expecting her to do it for free. It doesnât matter how good of friends you are you sound selfish and she doesnât owe you anything.
Ummmm. Grow up.
If you want help, ASK. end of story.
Ok first just because you work, doesnât mean a stay at home mom isnât busy also. Being a stay at home mom is hard work & a never ending job. Secondly, I have NEVER EVER expected my friends to help with my 3 children. Never. If they do help I am grateful but I do not EXPECT it. Especially when they have their own children to care for. & I donât really help my friends with their children a lot unless they absolutely need it or reach out for it , or if I am just not drained from my children I will reach out and help. But most days I am so drained from my babies that I donât feel like helping someone else with their children even if I do love the children. By the end of the day Iâm tired & donât want to take on the responsibility of another moms child. You sound like you feel entitled. Not to mention yeah she has to put her child on the same bus but 45 minutes is a long time when you are already dealing with your own children it can be a lot on someoneâs plate and to just expect that? I think you need to reevaluate yourself as a friend
Offer to pay her for helping get your child on the bus.
Perhaps ask her and offer her $$ to watch your kid in the AM⊠Or when you need something. Or mention car pooling, etc
Wow!! She has no obligation to you or your child. Talk to her if youâd like help. Offer to pay her. She has her own child(ren) to deal with and household to run. Right now, you sound like a super entitled Karen.
Lmao sheâs not obligated to do anything for you
Uhhhhh what??? Her staying home isnt really ur business. And if u want her to help ask her ur self. She shouldnt need to offer anthing to you. She didnt stay home to care for ur kid.
Ask her and offer to pay her.
Your child isnât your friends responsibility.
Are you close friends or just friendly neighbors? Lol because it doesnât sound like close friends to me
I see your point of view as if you are close friends, why wouldnât she offer to help sometimes since itâs the same bus in the morning. I get it. But it has to be a two way street. As having been a working mom and a stay at home mom, I can tell you, both are demanding and rewarding in different ways. But I also see everyone elseâs point of view on here in the sense that itâs not her responsibility to help take care of your child. Would it be nice since you are so close, yes. But all u can do is try and talk to her. You could offer to pay her something for the hour she would have your kid as well
You sound entitled. Why havenât you asked her for help??? If YOU want HER help, ASK HER YOURSELF!! You canât be serious??? If it was me, and my best friend, I would ASK HER! Sheâs not obligated to do shit for you. I canât believe this is even a question youâre asking. Are you serious??? Grow up and ask her yourself!! Chicken shit. 
just because YOU WORK doesnât mean SHE DOESNT! Being a SAHM is by far the hardest job Iâve had!
Im a stay at home mom. I wouldnât be happy having to babysit your child every day because of your work hours. We sahm work too - every day all day & night without any clock off time or help from anyone.did she give birth to your child? No ,so Itâs not her responsibility to babysit your kid.
Wow. Just wow. Your child is not her responsibility or obligation. Doesnât matter if you guys are close or not. You feel resentful towards her because you are working outside of the home so you think she should offer to watch your child because sheâs a stay at home mom? Sheâs under no obligation to take your child under her care.
I wouldnât want to be your friend lol.
This whole post is just so⊠cringe.
The sense of entitlement is over the top. 
I think these comments are harsh. I donât think you are entitled and I think most of us would offer to help if we were in your friends shoes. Especially on the days like an emergency or something. Also, it sounds like if the roles were reversed you would be there to help out if needed. Maybe one time when you guys are hanging out just ask her if she would be willing to help if something happened a last minute?
Maybe she is even wondering why you have never asked??? Maybe she thinks you think you cant trust her enough to ask.
Communicate with her before jumping to conclusions. Good luck!
So Iâm not going to say it because everyone else seems to be on the same page. But I did the SAHM thing for awhile and itâs pretty tiring. It doesnât obligate her to you in any way. Even if she has some free time, thatâs her time to use as she pleases.
She is your FRIEND⊠not your baby daddy. I am dying. Like she has no obligation to you. Do you want child support next??
Sheâs no friend to start with,
Please tell me this is an april foolâs joke?
Your child.
Your responsibility.
No one in any way shape or form obligated to offer to watch your child except you, the childâs father, and the person you pay to watch her.
Not. One. Bit.
Letâs get one other thing straight. Just because sheâs a stay at home momâŠdoesnât mean sheâs got the time or energy to add your child into the mix all the time.
Iâm a stay at home parent. My mornings? Are INSANE.
From 6am to 7 when my oldest gets on the bus I DONT STOP.
If there was another child here? It would be 100x harder to keep my kids on track and things for them would likely fall through the cracks.
Afternoons? Iâve often got stuff Iâve gotta do then too. Homework. Chores. Dinner. Trips to the store. Doctors appointments ect.
Iâd make it work for a close friend and do it for free in an emergency.
But on a daily basis? Probably not. Not for lack of caring but because my first obligation is to my children
Some people never asked or think to offer. You want her you need to ask and see what she thinks.Donât lose a good friendship over that.
Entitled much? Wow just wow
I didnât read this entire thing but jeez you sound entitled.
- She isnât you. She doesnât think like you, so stop expecting her too.
- You asked, âwhat kind of friend is that?â
What kind of friend are you? One that certainly isnât an unconditional friend, thatâs for sure. - If you want help, ask. Thatâs what mature people do.
- Just stop it.
Lol 
Iâd say youâre the terrible friend to be honest. She doesnât owe you anything. Have you even asked? You are thinking bad about her for simply not offering. Some friendship that is? 
Morning routines are chaos whether working or stay at home mom and you expect her to take on a whole other child for 45 minutes in the morning? You think stay at home moms are just peggy Bundy and we just eat bon bons all day? Youâre actually asking for a lot whether u think so or not.
Uh have you asked her?! It literally may have just not crossed her mind. Some people are literally that absent minded. Donât be so pretentious and grow some balls and just ask her if sheâd be able to help maybe she could use the extra income?
How can you feel like that towards someone because they donât help with your kid lol the level of entitlement is just astounding to me. Grow some balls and explain the situation you are in and ask her if she would be interested in making some extra money by getting your kid on and off the bus. If she says no then you have your answer but to not even ask and be bothered by it is so crazy to me.
I totally get where youâre coming from and it took me a long time to get the fact that not everyone thinks like you or is as thoughtful as you are⊠maybe you could politely ask for her help only like once at first and then maybe a couple more times and then ask if maybe she is capable most or all the time just to help you ease some stress with the sitters. Do NOT blow up at her like she has done you wrong though cause she hasnât. You have no idea what she thinks of it. Maybe she just doesnât want to feel like she is stepping on your toes or making you feel less than for whatever reason and you really need her help or you couldnât make it. Just try to break it in slowly and as kind as possible and of course offer cash for said sitting.
Iâm a SAHM. And I have enough on my plate with my kids and family to be constantly thinking about someone elseâs too.
I will help people with their kids & offer help but I donât exactly enjoy watching other peoples kids when I have 4 of my own to worry about. If they need me, Iâll be there but I wonât offer to babysit daily because I donât want to⊠its as simple as that. 
Ok my best friend is my neighbor, we ask each other to watch each others kids if its really needed, like tried everyone else kind of neededâŠI do not expect her to do this everyday, those are my kids and my responsibility my friend also has a life of her own and own routines that she has to deal with everyday⊠SO if your resenting her for not helping then it sounds to me like your the one being the bad friend and you need to get over yourself
Stop assuming SAHM donât have anything better to do than take care of your kid or fill in where you need it. She has her own, she donât need your lil crumb snatchers too. I like my neighbors kids sure, I donât want to be responsible for them or see them every damn morning get a clue, if she WANTED TO do it, she would have OFFERED.
You canât expect you from others. Maybe she doesnât want the responsibility of another child?!
I mean, I would offer if it were my friends BUT Iâm under no obligation to and neither is your friend. You sound like a whiney entitled brat. If you want your friend/neighbor to help you out, grow up and use your words. And if they say no, then too bad. They have lives too and they donât revolve around YOU.
You are asking her to go out of her way and take care of another child for 45 minutes in the morning.
The world doesnât owe you anything. Figure it out!
You sound entitled and I feel bad for your friend
You for real? Just because sheâs your friend doesnât mean sheâs obligated to take care of your kid. She has her own to take care of. Fân sake manâŠare you seriously asking this question??
Wow. I had a friend who also thought her child was my responsibility just because we were roommates. She would assume just because I was at home with my kid, I would hang with her kid. I never minded but it got to the point where I was just a convience for her.
Weâre no longer friends.
Your child is not her responsibility and you donât know what her mornings or afternoons are like. Even if she is completely free, you are not entitled to her time.
Honestly, one cannot expect another to be a mind reader. Your friend, is not you. How can you be hurt, if you donât ask for help? Your friend isnât obligated to help with your kids, but it seems she has, when you asked?
Maybe just ask her? She probably does not think about it the way you do and just assumes you are doing it that way you want to.
Is this real? The entitlement omg
This is why I dont have friendsđ€·đ» people just EXPECT you to do all this shit for them.
Oh my lorrrdddd. 
I canât.
Have you ever considered because sheâs a stay at home mom and her kid is at school all day she enjoys A specific morning routine with her child or just herself? Just because she has a kid and stays at home doesnât mean her entire life has to revolve around kids - especially ones that arenât hers.
Plus if youâre such good friends just go next door and fucking ask her lol âhey, do you think we could arrange a bus schedule for the kids?â And if she says no be damn cool with it because itâs not her responsibility to make your life easier. Good day.
Being friends doesnât mean she has to offer help, or take on your child⊠honestly you have no reason to be hurt. Have you offered to take her children so she could have an hour for her self? Have you offered to help her with the bus on days your home? If that answer is no, than why do you expect her to do the bus for you? She is with kids all day, Maybe her plate is already full with her own homes issues, and routines, that she canât add more. You honestly just sound awful and entitled, if your willing to be mad and lose a friend over something that honestly has never been her responsibility, than it doesnât sound like itâs her loss.
April fools⊠right?? I mean come on⊠seriously⊠she has enough with her own kid to worry about. Thatâs your responsibility and those are your sacrifices to make!! You wonât be getting a pitty party here, girlfriend
Just ask her yourself instead of expecting her to offer to watch your kids as if she is supposed to read minds?? I honestly couldnât believe what I was reading at first, you sound entitled as if you expect her to go out of her way and offer her services to you. Have you ever offered to watch her kids? Take her kids to the bus stop/school? Just because sheâs your friend and neighbour doesnât mean sheâs obligated to watch your kids, bottom line.
So if an emergency she will help as you state in post⊠Yet, you expect it all the time when no emergency n also to drive your kids if bus canât pickup
Seems more like, you need to evaluate yourself as a friend
The real question is have you ever ask her and offered her what you are paying the other person to do it? Secondly why would she to ask you to do something for your child that isnât her responsibility to even do? Clearly she has her own child/children to take care of and her being a stay at home mom is her business not yours seems more of a jealously thing about her being able to stay home while you work .
Reading this really pissed me off 
I hope your friend realizes that she deserves better than you.
Honestly, she is not responsible for your kid. Friend or not. Period.
That being said some people (like myself) donât take âhintsâ very well, or just donât really think to ask. Maybe you should just try asking her or talking with her? If you guys are in fact friends why not just have a conversation about it instead of getting hurt?
Hahahah wow seriously first off no one owes you a dam thing second if you guys are so close and your kids are so close what exactly is your problem asking her nicely and offering to pay her since you already are paying someone else ? Jesus the woman canât read your mind and of course sheâs not gonna go out of her way to add more to her plate if she thinks you got it covered what kind of friend are you really being this petty ffs and ps. Stay at home moms donât have it easy Iâve done both and honestly both dam hard
Itâs not her responsibility to ask to care for your kid???
Being a stay at home mom is no walk on the park, please loose this false sense of entitlement.
I honestly think you shouldnt be mad. Just because shes a stay at home mom doesnt put less on her plate. If she has other kids she might have a hard time enough getting through her routine in the morning with her own kids. She might spend that 45 minutes dressing herself and her own kids. Im a stay at home mom, and many times ive had people take advantage & assume ill just take their kids, not realizing i am exhausted myself, & noone is ever offering to take my kids so why should i feel bad? It doesnt make her a bad friend. Maybe just ask her for help
I only baby sit for my friends when they ask me, but I donât go out of my way to baby sit their kids and I make it known that they need to figure it out themselves because even though Iâm a stay at home mom I want my own space and I donât want anymore responsibilities.
Even as a stay at home mom, Iâm sure sheâs busy with their doings and may not want to commit. Another point of view, she may think you donât want her to watch your kids because you hire someone.
What kind of friends are you guys if you canât just ask her instead of you waiting on her to come to you. Just my opinion but if it were me i would simply just ask and not be mad at the answer either way because itâs my child and my responsibility