Good Grief…You had the kid, it’s your responsibility to make sure her needs are met not your friend/neighbor they are not your spouse or child grandparent…
She maybe a stay at home parent but she has her own family life and home to take care of. Suck it up butter you made the child.
My bestie is a SAHM and briefly watched my toddler last year when I was working a factory job. But when I switched jobs and needed more care she simply was not up to the task of having my tot for that many more hours so I found an affordable babysitter, which was a major struggle btw, and left it at that. Guess what? We are still great friends. Our 8 and 10 yr olds are still great friends. And we do still ask each other for help occasionally but we certainly don’t get upset or question our friendship if the other says no for whatever reason. I would never expect her to take care of any of my kids no matter what the situation. I don’t even expect my husband who moved out last year to go out of his way and they are HIS KIDS lmao (thats a whole nother struggle)
Anyways. You sound like an entitled brat and I can only imagine how u treat the childs grandparents
I have a best friend one similar to you
Same school same age hell same ball team
But I don’t expect her to do anything for me and mine and vice versa
If It’s needed we ask
Uhhh… just ask her?
You are pretty entitled to assume that because she’s a SAHM she owes you help with your kids… it’s not her responsibility, they’re YOUR kids and she has said yes when you ask her.
I’d ask her if she’d be interested in watching my child in the am and work out an agreed price. Please don’t expect it for free. Once in a while is one thing but a regular schedule is a job.
This has to be a joke. If you would prefer her to watch your child, why don’t you be an adult and ask her if she’d be willing to help. Maybe she doesn’t think about it because she’s never been asked?!
Maybe her mornings are crazy and she doesn’t want to add more kids to an already busy time of day. You said she helps when you ask her to, so I would assume she doesn’t feel like it is something she can handle every day. I have 2 kids because I can handle 2 kids. I don’t babysit because I don’t want to handle more than 2 kids and I have no obligation to handle more than the 2 kids I chose to have. Or maybe your friend thinks you have it handled with the sitter you have. It sounds like she’s a decent friend for stepping in when you ask.
Look i get your feelings. I would offer to watch your kids in an instant especially since they’re friends. But you can’t expect others to return the feelings. I have over extended myself before to only be forgotten when it was their turn to reciprocate. Maybe she’s been burned before, maybe her morning routine is super chaotic, maybe it’s pretty chill and she doesn’t want to disturb it. Whatever her reasoning, you’re going to have to just accept it. You can always try to bring up the sitter nonchalantly and see if she just offers. But I think this will poison your soul if you don’t stop obsessing over it.
Its not her responsibility to help out.
Only once did I take a friends child from down the street. Only because she wasn’t home, and the driver was going to take her daughter back to school, who charges to keep a child after hours. I convinced her to let me have the kid too since the driver knew and saw me daily she agreed. Mom got caught in a traffic jam and would have been home on time if not for that. But I never offered to do it on a day by day basis. Not my job.
Ask her in exchange for something…gas card one kid free night a weekend etc. Don’t expect freebes…hahaha girl it’s every man for himself. My MIL wouldn’t do that if she lived next door I wouldn’t imagine a friend doing jt
Get over it. She is your friend not your babysitter.
Closed mouths don’t get fed . Don’t just assume because she’s your friend she owes you childcare
Yea ur an asshole. She owes you NOTHING. she does not have to offer to watch or help with your kid. Just because she’s a stay at home mom doesn’t mean she should automatically babysit other people’s kids for free.
Have you offered to pay her to watch your kid? Did you ever even consider offering to PAY her to do what you seem to think she should offer to do?. As a stay at home mom, I have 0 problem helping my friends/ neighbors, when needed. And they return the same kindness, BUT I am under no obligation to. I have 4 kids of my own I do not want to be responsible for others everyday as well. And I’m not gonna offer to do it for free everyday.
Soo maybe instead of being mad that she hasn’t offered to save you money by doing what you pay a babysitter for for free, maybe you should apologize to her for being an entitled, inconsiderate friend who’s bothered that you have to pay a babysitter instead of taking advantage of your friend.
One favor turns in too a 100 favors the girl was smart!
It’s not her job…she won’t know you need help until u ask! Maybe she wants to but doesn’t want to upset u bc u did hire a sitter and maybe she thinks u don’t trust her bc u hired someone…u just need to talk to her.
Nah they are your kids and your responsibility. It’s hard enough the responsibility of organising your own children without the stress of feeling responsible for someone else’s child.
It’s the entitlement:sparkles: for me
Um entitled much? Your kid your responsibility get over yourself lady.
Why don’t you have a real conversation with your long term friend and maybe offer her the going rate? She might actually be offended that you would pay someone else rather than her…
Many years ago when I was a very young stay at home mom, some of the other moms who worked outside the home seemed to think that since I didn’t have an actual job I would be glad to fill in for them and a couple of them really took advantage of me. We only had one car back then, and there were days that it would be freezing cold or rainy and those same neighbors would drive right past my daughter when she was walking to school and not even offer her a ride. I got to be pretty resentful towards a couple of them. Maybe your neighbor doesn’t want to be taken advantage of.
So you expect someone to just read your mind and not voice what you want ? She has no obligation to ask you if your kid needs a ride. Have you given her kids rides ? Or have you gotten her kid off and on the bus ? If no to either, then she has no reason to do it for you. Is it nice ? Yes. But does she need to do it ? No. You seem mad that she is a SAHM, while you have to work. You’re your kids parent. It’s your job to figure out how to get your kids to and from school. Not your neighbors.
First, she doesn’t owe you free babysitting. That crosses a line of boundaries for you to expect her to give up her mornings and afternoons for your convenience. Secondly, closed mouths don’t get fed. If you wanted her help you could always say, “hey would you be interested in watching my son in the mornings and I’ll pay you instead of the sitter.
If you can’t trust your babysitter to drive your child, they shouldn’t be your babysitter. What if there’s an emergency and they need to drive your child somewhere?
Probably because she knows you’re a neurotic, entitled narcissist and she will end up caring for your child non stop when she is already caring for her own children 24/7. Being a stay at home mother doesn’t make her life easier or mean she is somehow automatically obligated to make her life harder by caring for her friend’s or neighbor’s children.
Don’t hold such high expectations, she is not you. Some people don’t think to offer help. It could also be that she’s waiting for you to ask for help. But be careful that when they do help and if they act like it’s such an inconvenience to them or they hold it over your head, or they just don’t want to help, that’s a “friendship” that’s not worth fighting for. I learned this one the hard way.
Thank you for not asking her to care for your child on a regular basis. That could put her in an awkward position. She has been a good friend to you to help you out when you have asked. It’s tough being a stay at home parent and working parents thinking it’s no big deal to add their child to the stay at home parents responsibilities. That can build resentment quickly. Good friends are precious and hard to come by. A true friend respects the other and helps when they are asked. A true friend doesn’t impose and ask a friend to go out if their way especially for free. Maybe you can talk to your boss about coming in an hour later so you can take your child to school. Maybe you can offer to take the neighbor’s child too.
Its not her responsibility no, but if I was in that situation I would of definitely offered to help out. That’s just me though
Stop moaning and ask the lady already,some of us actually don’t offer we want to be asked…we are not the same
I sorry but even my friends or family, no one is obligated to take care of or even offer to take care of my kids.
If I need help I ask.
I am also a sahm, that does not make me an available babysitter every time anyone gets in a jam.
We do not just sit at home all Day and do nothing.
You have no idea the life she lives, how busy her mornings are or if she just doesn’t like other people’s kids. Some people don’t and that’s OK.
And how you would think anyone even a friend would owe you free babysitting is a bit entitled.
Just because she’s a stay at home parent doesn’t mean she doesn’t have her own responsibilities or worries in the morning, why should she be obligated to automatically think about you and your child just because you are friends and neighbors? You’ve asked, she’s helped, you haven’t asked her to do anymore. She might not realize you want the help if you don’t speak up. How about you be the friend you want her to be. Offer your help in anyway, let her know you are there for her in any situation she might need you and maybe you might be surprised what is offered back. Maybe you won’t get anything offered back. At the end of the day your child is being cared for by a sitter so I don’t see the issue with your friend staying in her lane as just your friend and not your child’s caregiver. Also if you do ask her make sure you pay her the same amount you’d pay anyone else to watch your child.
She may be upset you didn’t actually ask her if she wanted the ‘paid’ job of babysitting?
Sounds like a you problem… if you expect your neighbour/friend to “man” up and take on your responsibilities as a parent then you have to re evaluate what is actually YOUR job as a parent. Which is everything. NO ONE owes you anything. Wow… thank goodness I’m not your friend/neighbour . Your first sentence “help with MY child…” I just can’t… just incase I was not clear YOUR the issue.
If she wanted to help you with your child she would have offered already. I am also like you, I always offer to help my friends out with things like this. However, I understand and respect the other side of the coin.
Friend not assistant. I have friends who I don’t watch their kids and no one watches mine. We don’t feel any type of way about it. If I needed them or they needed me we would simply ASK… Maybe she doesn’t want to change her routine and give up her time. I don’t blame her
Interesting.
How often do you offer to watch her children?
I don’t think any friend is required to be your babysitter. They didn’t make the decision to have your child - you did. They take care of their own children, as you should yours.
my best friend has a daughter the same age and without her i couldn’t do my shift work … i only ask when I’m absolutely stuck but i make sure she knows how much i appreciate it. I never would expect this nor would i feel bad if she said no. I think it’s bizarre you think she should offer or that you feel this entitled
Talk to her and just ask? Maybe she doesn’t want the responsibility, or maybe she thinks you got it under control. Idk communication is key, and if she feels she can’t take on that responsibility then leave it at that.
Sounds like you’re pretty entitled. Use your words. If you need help, say so. Just because she’s a stay at home mom doesn’t mean that she may not be feeling overwhelmed and stressed. If you can’t even communicate it to her, chances are you guys aren’t actually that good of friends.
You never said that you asked and she turned you down. Talk to her maybe she sits and wonders why you wouldn’t offer it to her. She might be like wow she is asking someone else instead of me. I would say the kids are together anyway offer her the same as your sitter. If she says no then maybe you have something to be hurt about.
As selfish as it sounds I wouldn’t either… sometimes it’s stressful having to have another child to look after for even 45 minutes… especially at the busiest time of the day… MORNING Routines would be the worst, it would cause me all types of anxiety… your child would possibly slow the process up on the morning just being there even if she didn’t need any attention… the kids would talk to her etc… whilst the convenience for you sounds great… free sitter and it’s right next door it’s not always so black and white for the person that has to take on the responsibility of another child. Maybe find a job that will let you start 45-1 hour later then you do…change YOUR life instead of expecting someone else too…
You didn’t ask her so how can you be mad? Maybe she has enough to deal with in her own home.
Nope! Sorry I think you’re out of order here, she works just as much as you (just because she may not be on a payroll doesn’t she doesn’t have things to do) you hired childcare so even if she did want to help you’ve already shown her you don’t want/need extra help, it’s up to her to offer not for you to ask unless your really stuck, and I’m sorry but if your paid childcare can’t drive a different direction due to bus route changing then you need to either suck it up or change something to accommodate this.
You’re friend us right for not wanting to meddle in what might seem from her view that you gave everything under control. If you are as close as you say then it shouldn’t be an issue for you to raise the if I’m ever stuck for xyz reason could I call on you, but this should only be if you’re stuck
It’s not her place to keep your kid. You could ask, "hey would you like to do this for me and I’ll pay you… ?"whatever you’re paying the sitter. I think the way you’re thinking is rather ridiculous.
You are asking her to go out of her way. Shes not a mind reader, if you want help you need to ask for it. At the end of the day though the only one responsible for your child is you.
I’m sorry but this is ridiculous! For you to think she would just offer to watch your child every morning before school is crazy, friends or not. There could be a million reasons why she hasn’t offered, the first being that you obviously have never asked her! Is this a service you expect her to do for free? Because she’s your friend? If it’s something you are willing to pay her for then go ahead and just ask her otherwise keep your sitter and move on from being upset!
She might enjoy the mornings with just her children. Mornings can be hectic and extra children can make for a much more stressed start to the day.
She’s your friend not baby sitter
She is under no obligation to help you !! It’s not her child… I don’t expect my friends to help with my children nore do I expect her to assume I should help with hers
I’d NEVER expect my friend to “just do it” and I PAY everytime they watch my kids as well as them paying me…shes your friend…not your personal assistant.
If you never asked her or if you did ask and she said no then you really can’t complain. If you’re such good friends you would communicate with her better instead of expecting her to just add another kid on top of her responsibilities. She’s not a mind reader and maybe she thinks you’re Wonder Woman.
Your child, your responsibility. In a jam, ask for help and then in return offer to repay her by watching her child for a date night with her spouse. Otherwise, don’t EXPECT her to offer anything to you because what you are then doing is disrespecting her SAHM role. She owes you nothing but friendship.
watch OP get dragged like a dog’s ass across a carpet
Wow. Just because she’s there at the same time does not mean she should have to take on an extra kid permanently just because you are friends. I wouldn’t want a so called friend to use me that way.
I didn’t even read this all… she owes you Jack! She’s not obligated to help you !?! What makes you feel she does?! Smh . Stop being her friend… she deserves better .
I wasn’t going to comment but have the tables actually been turned? Have you offered to help her in any way? And I mean yes I’m a working mom too but it is YOUR kid YOUR responsibility not your friends. Maybe if you said something to her maybe along the lines of “hey I’m kind of having a hard time lately with work and the kids by any chance could you start putting my kids on the bus and have them right after school?” I mean how do YOU not know she’s got her own things going on being a stay at home mom has it’s runs too I have been both a working mom AND a stay at home mom neither job is easy. I mean it’s your kid maybe she doesn’t want to over step and make you feel like she’s pittying you plus if you’ve never said anything about it or asked her how is she supposed to know you need help maybe she thinks you’re a mom who has her sh*t together
Maybe you think someone doesnt have as much on their plate compared to you.
But maybe their plate is smaller than yours and doesnt have alot of room to begin with.
Or maybe their plate is made of paper and cant hold as much as your sturdy ceramic plate can.
Not all parents want to take care of another child she probably has enough to do as it is
Have you just asked her ?
I mean if you’re such great friends.
Am I missing something?
Maybe she’s in the same situation but reversed. She could just be waiting for you to ask.
You cannot possibly put all the blame on her.
I’d say it’s you not being a good friend.
Sounds like u feel like your friend is suppose to babysit your kid when in reality she has no obligation to. You sound a little entitled n think ppl must offer to watch your child. Grow up. Welcome to parenthood where nobody else is obligated to take on the responsibility of your child but you n the kids father that’s it not friends not family.
You honestly sound selfish asf . Not everyone is supposed to just keep your keeps for you . You sound like my stupid ass sister-in-law who would get mad at me because I didn’t want to keep her non-listening ass kids whenever she asked . It’s people like you that don’t deserve friends because you think they are obligated to help you out whenever just because y’all are friends . Hell nawh . Pay that babysitter and stfu .
You can’t expect someone else to do this. What may be a little task to some may be a bigger task to others. In a perfect world she would offer but if you’re such good friends why can’t you just ask if she wouldn’t mind doing that for you? Instead of letting your frustrations bubble up and possibly be the end of a friendship because you didn’t simply ask.
You’re not entitled to your friend’s time, commodities or energy!!! This is a super entitled post.
I promise I have a point.
This past winter season, our area saw over 16 inches of snow. I had to figure out how to shovel my drive way (not small i might add) and I just stood there, looking pathetic. People with plows passed me, did nothing. UNTIL, I saw one plow and I asked for help. They helped and I was plowed out.
Moral of the story? Never assume people are out there to help you until you actually ask for the help.
If you want help with your kiddos, don’t assume anything. Use your voice and words, and ask.
I would rather pay for a sitter. Keep friendships separate from child care. So many things could happen then friendship is gone!!
Not once have I heard you say how you offer to help with her kids. But you expect her to help with yours. Then you make it sound like she’s obligated to do so because she’s your friend. Do you do anything for her? Have you offered do anything for her? Maybe it might be too much for her. Where’s the father? You’re getting on your friend about not helping with your child but never said anything about the father. Are you seeking help from him?
You could just ask her. Stop expecting things. Makes you seem pretty entitled.
2 words,
Entitled much?
For me I know mornings in my house is crazy, loud, stressful to name a few. I would not be able or capable of watching another child. It is nothing to do with my friends child or children or my friend. It could put a slight ruffle in the friendship if the children do not mesh in the mornings or spending too much time together and start to not like each other as much … keep on keepin on is all we can do
You assume a stay at home parent has time or energy for your child. Sounds pretty judgy. It is not someone elses responsibility to look after your children!
Ummm have you asked her?? You can not get mad at someone for something like this when YOU are the one failing to communicate. I wouldn’t expect anyone to just offer to do it. Talk to her, tell her you are struggling and wondering if she would be willing to help. Communication is a lovely thing. Keep in mind just because she’s a stay at home mom doesn’t mean she doesn’t have struggles if her own though. She may not want to for various reasons but, that wouldn’t justify you being angry. We all have our struggles. I’ve been a stay at home mom and a working mom and had plenty of struggles doing both. One is really no easier than the other.
Um, yeah. You’re wrong. It’s as easy as that. Your kid is YOUR kid. No matter how much your kids already do together, she isn’t obligated - and shouldn’t be MADE to feel obligated or expected - to do anything else for yours just because she is a stay-at-home mom. Mornings and trying to get ready with kids are the most stressful times. She doesn’t need a third kid >>>THAT ISN’T HERS<<< added to her plate. Good lord. You have ONE kid. If you couldn’t make it work, or weren’t willing to when it got hard, then you shouldn’t have become a mother. You have no right to ask, you have no right to expect it, and you don’t have any right to harbor any ill feelings towards her.
This is an April fools joke… right?
There’s so much to say about this…
That is YOUR child and YOUR responsibility. If you want her help, ask and she might. But she’s not wrong for telling you no. And she’s absolutely not wrong for not going out of her way to offer. But make sure if you ask, you offer pay.
Also, who knows what she’s battling? I’m assuming because she’s a SAHM you think she has the time and mental capacity to watch another child?
There’s just literally everything wrong with this. She’s better than me. Because I wouldn’t be friends with you at all.
Wow. Maybe it takes all she has just take care of herself and her family, maybe she’d rather not mix friendship with work because that’s what it would be she would essentially work for you by watching your daughter even if its “only 45 minutes.” Just because your friends doesn’t mean you know everything going on in her life. If you want her to watch your daughter talk to her about it don’t just assume she should offer.
Wow. Just wow. I would never in a million years offer to keep my friends children while they worked unless they mentioned they were in a bind with childcare I think you’re expecting way too much.
Talk to her about it
Stop being so entitled.
Sounds like you haven’t asked her for help so how would she know and second it’s your child, not hers… it isn’t her responsibility.
You’re definitely overreacting and you’re going to lose a good friendship due to expecting too much from your friend.
And as a stay at home mother, we have a lot on our plate. Just because you work and she doesn’t means nothing.
What the fuck did I just read?! Your child is YOUR and YOUR HUSBAND’S responsibility. I wouldn’t want to be your friend, and this is why I choose to not have any lol. To much of a headache. You and your husband sound like two karens, that are pissed off at the fact she’s not offering HER time for y’all’s needs.
This is probably the most entitled post I’ve read in awhile . I’m not trying to say anyone’s feelings are invalid because I’m sure it feels real to you, but nahhh this ain’t it. She has a whole family that is constantly relying on her as a stay at home mom. She gets overwhelmed and exhausted just like working moms, it is not easier for her to just take on your child because it would be easier for you. You’ve mentioned that she’s more than willing to be there when you ask for help… as you should. She is not a mind reader and should not be expected to go out of her way to add more things to her plate just because you think if the roles were reversed you would. The roles are not reversed, you don’t know what a day feels like in her household or simply her mind, to make that baseless claim. It’s unfortunate that you’re struggling to find affordable care but she’s your friend not the help. I hope I hit the page and see a April Fools after this post… cause this can’t be real life lmfao.
I think it’s a lot sometimes to take on responsibility for someone else’s children which would be every day. Plus once you open that door then she might you’ll keep asking if your late from work or you have something going on. Maybe she just wants to keep it like you are friends and not your child’s babysitter. I don’t blame her. It’s her choice. I wouldn’t ask and find someone reliable to help you with your kids and pretend she’s not next door. Kind of think it’s a little crazy that you think she SHOULD.
I personally think IF yall are that good of friends…you should feel comfy ASKING if she minds helping you out from time to time. A stay at home mom is a full time job too…you dont know what her mornings/days involve. She could have her hands FULL getting her own child up and ready; and you wanna add another child too that? Most ppl dont mind helping; but you cant assume they just will. Have you ever thought maybe she needs your help with her kid but doesnt ask for fear of hindering you? Put yourself in her shoes…how much more stressed would your day be with another child added on as your responsiblity? You can be great neighbors and your kids can be great friends; but that doesnt mean your friend automatically becomes your babysitter. My neice watches my child for me while I work; and I pay her. I dont assume she will just do it…I asked if she wanted to make some extra money and help me out at the same time. Just because someone is a friend/family doesnt mean they owe you. Sorry dear but you are wrong in this. No o don’t think you are entitled; but you are wrong in assuming.
Reality check: she is NOT your friend, she is your neighbor!!! You are responsible for your own child(ren), so do not displace your frustration on anyone else for things they aren’t offering to do. You have some nerve to feel so entitled. It’s great you have a great heart, but she doesn’t owe you anything!!!
Do neighborly things. Take care of your own children. Let them live their lives. Let your children play. And move on. B-I got about stuff like this is trivial.
I read the first few sentences and decided nope and skipped to the comments… the comments did not disappoint
I literally REQUIRE this to be satire
I hate to inform you of this, but your friend has no obligation to care for your child.
Maybe she is under the impression you are content with the care you are receiving for your child? If you need help, ask. Maybe even offer to pay her.
I’d hate to be your friend:rofl:
You’re overreacting. Majorly. She doesn’t owe you anything . It’s your child. Not hers. You chose to have your child. You chose to work outside the home. That’s not her problem.
I can only speak for myself but I don’t think you’re overreacting. I think it’s because I have the same thought process as you and like you said if it were the other way around, and I were you I would also watch my friends kid and for no money at all no questions asked infact I would insist on doing it I’d do it because that’s just the right thing to do and what would I have to lose from it? It’s helping a friend out and the kids can play. I see where you are coming from and why you would be upset. It wouldn’t hurt to have a chat with her and see if she’d be interested in helping you out by doing that and see what her reaction and answer is.
I’m sorry, what? She doesn’t owe you anything… Even if you’d do it for her, based off of that she has to take care of your kid or else you resent her? I’m not sure why you feel entitled to her time… I’d never expect anyone to do that for me, let alone get mad at them for not doing it. People have lives.
Also, going off of that, if you want her to help you why don’t you, I don’t know… ask her? In person? If she doesn’t want to or if she can’t that is okay. It doesn’t hurt to communicate but I think it’s a extremely childish to get upset and ruin a friendship over this nonsense.
I’m so sorry, I feel like you think she owes you something because she lives close and your kids are friends. Nope, I was a single mom for a long time, working a full time job and taking care of my kid. I feel like you need to get over it. I also feel like if you talk to her about it, your kids will no longer be friends. I know life’s hard and help is always a blessing, but it’s just that a blessing not an expectation.
Your kid is NOT her responsibility. Stop treating her like the baby sitter, you don’t pay her. She has her own family she is not your kids mom also.
She really REALLY doesn’t owe you anything. The entitlement.
I hope she reads this
Wow, maybe she doesn’t even realize. Maybe you should communicate with her. Maybe she is just as hurt that you know she is a sahm and never really brought it up to her. Maybe she is hurt that she is only good enough to care for your child when you are in a bind otherwise. Idk communication is usually where one starts…I’m pretty sure she can’t read your mind. Js
Ummm maybe she doesn’t want to be responsible for someone else’s child. You don’t know what she does at home just because she is a stay at home mom doesn’t mean she isn’t busy. I can’t believe you would even think that she OWES it to you, you and your husband need to figure out your schedules it’s no one else’s responsibility but your own.
Offer to pay her if you want her to perform babysitting duties. She says yes when you ask, but if she extends herself and offers, she’s probably thinking you’ll start expecting it (because it sounds like you do).
Maybe you or ur husband could slightly change one of your schedules to accommodate school for this year i understand with the whole covid thing everybody’s schedules are complete shit but ur job should understand u need to take ur kid to school. If not try care.com
This can’t seriously be a real submission? Can it? Please tell me it’s not. How embarrassing lol.
Don’t just assume someone will doing something just cuz you think its logical. No harm in asking and no harm in offering help to her. But don’t get offended cuz someone doesnt have the same heart or thinking as you do.