Maybe she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. I know several people (myself included) who lost friends after babysitting the friends kids cause the friend started to take full advantage…picking up later and later and then a couple hours turned into 4 then 6 then 8 hours then on weekends etc. Maybe she doesn’t want to risk that? Also how would it sound for her to go to you and say , “hey give me some money and I’ll help you with your kid” or “I can watch kid for you, but I need to be paid for it”. That would be awkward but if she just offered to help, it would be for free which is not beneficial to her.
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Wow… I just can’t even form an actual comment for this… 
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Wow the comments in this thread are awful 
Maybe your friend feels you don’t want her to watch your kids? I mean if you struggled to find someone and she knew about it, and yet you never asked her if it’s something she would feel comfortable doing, maybe she feels like you didn’t even consider her as an option, so doesn’t want to ruin your friendship by offering and have you say no? I would be upfront and ask, if we were ever in a bind…would you mind? Would they benefit from extra cash if you took your kids there every morning? Maybe she feels if she offers, you won t pay her? I’d say the job of asking, is up to you.
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Have you asked her??
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As a SAHM I wouldn’t offer to help my bestie/neighbor in the mornings. Lol I am not a morning person. That would stress me out big time being responsible for an extra kid getting to school. 
Also maybe she thinks if you need help you will ask?
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Well I’m no mother of the year but… I own my own business so some days I’m “off” at home and let me tell you I don’t even wanna get up and get my own child ready for school and on the bus🤣 I would be annoyed if someone that was my “friend” or “neighbor” tried taking advantage of my home and responsibilities I have myself just because we lived close. My best friend and I have children the same age. We have been friends since we were 3 and we both are in our early 30s now. We literally have only “babysat” each other’s kids one time in 10 years. Why? Because we each handle our own business and keep our friendship separate from what we have to do as working moms.
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I’m sorry but your entitlement is the problem
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Think about how you would feel if someone tried to put yet another responsibility on you on top of everything else you have going? On top of that, what happens if she has an issue on a morning can’t do it? That’s added stress. I agree, this all sounds a little entitled. Your situation is your responsibility, no one else’s. She is kind enough to help when you ask but making it a regular thing puts a burden on someone.
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Girl I am a stay home mom and I have enough juggling my own household without someone expecting me to juggle theirs too! Lord have sweet mercy
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First off, you’re not a real friend of all you see is free help with your child… my SISTERS watch my children while I bust my hind end off working 12 hour shifts around inmates all day, and I STILL pay them they usually only watch them for a couple hours because my boyfriend is on the opposite 12 hour shift.
Second, you are entitled! Your “friend” owes you absolutely nothing. I have never felt my friends were horrible people because they’ve not offered to watch my children even though they have children the same age. It is not their responsibility.
Third, if you don’t trust your babysitter maybe find a new one. I’m sure your neighbor, at this point she’s not a friend you’re just wanting to use her to save money, would be more than happy to help if you asked. It is not her place to ask you if you’d like her to do something for you. You are not her master and she does not need to live life to please you.
I hope your neighbor sees this and realizes what a crappy person you are and to not spend any more time with you thinking you’re an actual friend.
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…APRIL FOOLS!!!
Right? Please tell me April fools!
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Please tell me you’re fucking joking? You seriously cannot be this daft. You have no problem ASKING a babysitter to do this but you have a problem ASKING your friend? Under no circumstances is she required to offer. Open your mouth and ask her. And offer to pay her like you do your babysitter. She’s not a damn mind reader. If you want someone’s help you ASK. You don’t sit around and wait for someone to offer.
No where do I see the poster approaching the friend/neighbor about being paid for the baby sitting, maybe if you approach the neighbor about paying them what you are paying the sitter, or even a little less they would say yes. Some people just don’t volunteer they prefer to be asked. I do think there is overreacting you should really talk to the neighbor.
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Did you ever think she might be offended that you didn’t think to ask her before hiring a sitter? I mean if I lived next to a close friend I’d ask if she minded helping me out BEFORE hiring a sitter. Worse thing is they say no? You assume she’d offer but you haven’t asked so you are just as bad.
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A closed mouth don’t get fed. Is your friend a mind reader? She’s not obligated to help you
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Bahaha can’t be to close if you you can’t have a conversation with her about this. I watch my sons best friend since Kindergarten and his 2 8yo twin siblings. I have them A LOT!! Its Spring Break and I’ve had them 4 days this week 11am to 830pm and yes I get paid. But she only offers to get my son on Fridays which is cool. I understand her work schedule doesn’t allow more. I pick up her kids and mine 3-4days a week. My mom actually takes my oldest to school most days. My friend never offers to take him or anything. I could never imagine being pissy about our different situations and not being able to discuss it with her. I’m actually going through a ton with my mental health and I still make sure to have the time to watch her kids. A true friend is able to talk with their friends about their feelings and needs/wants and try to work together for both sides. You just want your life easier no matter what it could mean for hers. That’s crappy. I really hope you don’t make adult issues the childrens issues and pull their friendships if they are really as close as you say cause that’s shitty to do. Allow them to continue to be friends but reevaluate what you actually need and want your friendships.
Ahhh there’s no reason your neighbor or friend should have to volunteer to watch or help you out with your child!
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I understand you mommy maybe you are just tired too this time. Yet, It doesn’t mean that she’s a stay at home mom she has all the time to spare with other stuff how much more with other kids. It may sound easy for you but maybe not for her. Stay at home moms struggles a lot without others knowing it. You can ask but please don’t expect her to do it for you all the time. Honestly, reality is we can’t even expect our immediate family to help us with our kids, how much more with our friends.
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Uummm as I tell every expectant mom…“You’re having a kid that not one other soul has to give two craps about, don’t expect anything from anyone or you’ll be disappointed…including your momma”. 
With that being said…that’s your kid! Also, if you don’t ask me for whatever I’m likely not gonna offer 
closed mouths don’t get fed.
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Honestly, I get what you are saying but at the same time you can’t expect everyone to have the same heart as you. And I totally understand not wanting to take on another child in the morning, my 3 are INSANE. I swear I need an exersist from getting them to school they make my head spin not even joking… I’m a sahm as well but I would suggest speaking with her about helping… maybe she thinks you have it covered well? Worst she can say is no. (Which I can understand… Again… I’m nearly possessed, in need of a priest, in the morning with my 3)
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Wow. If shes not offering she doesn’t want to watch someone else’s kids. It’s not her job. I wouldn’t want to and I’d be offended if my friends just expected of me like this. This is your responsibility not hers. when you ask and she says yes you’re still mad?
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Maybe she thinks you don’t need help or you don’t want it since you never asked? Stay at home moms have plenty of things to do as well and your kid isn’t her responsibility, it’s no one’s responsibility but your own.
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Why does she need to offer to take care of your child when she has her own to take care of. Sounds really selfish of you to be upset over this.
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Stay at home moms have it hard , also . They work from sun up till sun down , too . I know I was one for 16 years . When I kept my sisters child for one school year , she paid me very generously ! Maybe you should ask her if she Is interested in the job ? But , it’s a very busy day and a lot of extra responsibility to keep another persons child for any amount of time . She owes you nothing . She has her hands full , also . You are wrong to expect her to offer this help !
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Ummm is this real? Your kid is NOT HER KID if u ask she seems to help so be an adult n ask I’m a stay at home mom n don’t want any extra responsibility on too of the pandemic n crazy ness cuz guess what friends or not she might have things going on she DOESNT WANT U KNOWING about. I resent u just assuming she should helo
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“It’s not like I’m asking her to go out of her way.”
Sweetheart. From what you’ve said you haven’t asked her anything except to cover when the babysitter can’t make it. You dug around to find someone to watch your child for 45 minutes instead of going “hey, would you mind?”
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There are really people in this comment section condoning monopolizing your friends time with your own responsibilities 
because y’all don’t feel like she has shit else to do but watch extra kids she didn’t make 
on a daily basis… for free… knowing other people actually get paid for that exact service… And that she should literally be asking you to take on your extra responsibility… all off the strength of friendship and proximity 
the NARCISSISM is STRONGGG
As a SAHM myself I’ve definitely offered to help many friends with childcare because I personally felt as if I could take that on. With the understanding I can just as easily revoke that offer if it became too much for me… but to expect that I should offer that 
y’all can respectfully kiss my a**
Did you ask her if you should have kids? They are you responsibility 24/7,not hers
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If you want her help, ask her, she can’t read your mind, don’t talk shit about her when she’s actually done nothing wrong, In fact she has covered your ass, when you’ve needed help, I would never talk like this about someone I classed as a friend, its rude and ungrateful, its YOUR job as a mother to organise back up plans, just like the rest of us, not sure if it’s just worded badly or if you genuinely think the world should be offering to help you, without being made aware you want their help.
This sounds super entitled. It’s not her job to get YOUR kid on the bus or to watch them. That’s YOUR job. If you need someone to watch them, it’s YOUR job to find someone. Just because she’s your neighbor and has offered sometimes doesn’t mean she can or wants to do it all the time. The entitlement in this post is awful.
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Girl, this is a joke right?
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Try asking. Maybe she tells her husband how offended she is youd rather struggle to find someone instead of asking her to do it.
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She has her own things to do. Your child isn’t her problem. It sounds like she spends lots of time with you and your child as it is.
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Um… I promise I’m not trying to be rude when I say this. BUT. They are YOUR children, not hers. You can’t possibly expect her to take care of her own kids AND yours. Especially if you don’t ask. Honestly, most of us don’t think about it.
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Okay if you want someone’s help you should definitely ask. Maybe she feels like you don’t trust her because you didn’t ask her.
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Not everyone has the same heart, Same common sense, Same expectations, and the same way of thinking. Just ask.
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That’s not her kid. Wow Karen, you’re entitled.
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Lmaooo girl you’re wildin. I would never want you as a friend if you don’t know how to open your mouth and ask. You’re acting extra as hell
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And if your husband is bothered by it too, have him do it. I mean, it’s only an extra 45 min right?? LoL
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She’s not obligated to help you and has her own things going on. Maybe initiate the conversation about it and just ask. Worst she can say is no.
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She might just have a lot on her plate and while it might seem small to you, it could feel like a mountain to her. Being a SAHM can be overwhelming, I used to think it was a cake walk but was humbled very quickly after I had my son. I think you’re reading into it a little much if you guys are that close! Also, it low key makes me uncomfortable when people offer a million times to watch my kids, I feel pressure and I while I don’t let them, I’m still uncomfortable because I dodged it or said no. It’s nothing against those people, my anxiety is just horrible and I don’t like to leave my kids unless absolutely necessary. So she could be avoiding making it awkward too?
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Soooo shes not as busy because shes a stay at home mom? You sound ridiculous maybe shes busy with her own kids and life. Do you ever offer to take her kids so she can go grocery shopping…or anything just because you work and she " doesnt" does not mean her time is not valuable and busy
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Maybe you aren’t as close as you think you are? Maybe you should just ask her??? If your friendship was so great she would have offered orrrr you would be comfortable enough to ask her. Nobody owes you anything. It would definitely be a huge help but she’s not obligated to do anything. If you don’t ask you’ll never know.
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How. about offering to pay het
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If you are such close friends who dont you talk to her ?
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She might be offended that you got a sitter instead of asked her first
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Yo I’m fkn dead 
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I think you need to be comfortable asking for help when its needed. Not offering shouldn’t be offensive imo
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you are jealous that she doesnt have to juggle job and kids. not her fault
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Have you ever asked her if you could pay her to do the things you need instead of a stranger? Maybe she thinks you dont want her to do it bc you never asked if she wanted to?
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She is not obligated to offer to watch your kid. She has her own kids and may not want the added stress. Friendship shouldn’t be based on what she can do for you.
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No one owes you anything. Haven’t you figured that out by now? They’re you’re kids and you’re responsibility not hers. Or why haven’t you just asked? Sounds like its you’re own fault. I know for me if someone expects something from me without asking then I’m just not going to do it.
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How is it your friends responsibility she has a lot on her plate too I say your piss poor friend yourself
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Wowwww she owes u nothing! Lol
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Well for one you’re kids are not her responsibility just because you both are friends…She should not feel obligated to do anything… But on that note I think you should communicate with her and ASK her for some help if needed. She has her own family to deal with, don’t do her like that. You and you’re man chose to have those kids now take Full responsibility for them… and if you’re not gonna offer to pay the woman for her help why even bother With expecting anything from her. That’s not how things work.
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Well I’m glad you’re not my friend. You sound really entitled.
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I understand how convenient it would be but just because they are your friends they are under no obligation to watch your kids. It also sounds like you never out right asked them if they would do it 
maybe they’re hurt “you never considered them”
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If you want help then ask for it, she isn’t obligated to help with your child. Her being a SAHM shouldn’t matter. If you want to see if she would help out I would lay it out nicely and drop the entitled attitude.
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I see what you’re saying, but no one else is obligated to pitch in and help you with your child and nor would I expect them to, believe it or not SAHM can sometimes have a lot on their plate and just maybe having to help you could be a burden for her.
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I know you all are close but that doesn’t mean she has to offer anything. Would it be nice, sure but it shouldn’t be expected. Maybe she doesn’t want the extra responsibility all the time, I know I wouldn’t if I’m honest.
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Wow…ok. Did you bother to just point-blank ask her for help? If you’ve known her that long you should be comfortable enough with her to just plain ask. Ask her if she would be interested in helping out and offer her whatever you’re paying for a sitter to come and care for your child. Being mad because she hasn’t offered is a little ridiculous IMHO.
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I think you are over thinking it. If you wanted her to watch her I’d approach her and offer to pay her just like you do the babysitter. She can’t read your mind. You have to ask for the help if you want it.
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I’ve cared for several friends’ kids in the past. Sometimes it’s great, sometimes it’s not so great. I’ll probably never do it again. Good for her for not being a pushover or a people pleaser. I always offer more than I have to give and offering to care for a friends’ kid’s when you’re a mother yourself is often offering more than you can give.
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They are your kids not hers. It’s not her responsibility ,and for you to make it sound like it is and to get upset is quite ridiculous. I’m so glad I dont have friends like this
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Entitled much??? Good grief, she doesn’t owe you Jack…have you thought about ASKING her for help if you need it
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Women up that’s your responsibility not her
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Okay so this post seriously angered me…I guess Im totally blown away by your clear entitlement! And if I were HER, I would have a hard time looking at YOU for assuming that taking on YOUR responsibility (for FREE, I might add!) Was somehow MY responsibility because were “friends”! Im sorry hun, but you seem like an absolute shit friend and have CLEARLY been misinformed on what true friendship really is. Have you ever considered that maybe she has enough on her plate and CANT take on your plate as well? Im lacking a crystal ball here but Im guessing from this post, its rather easy for her to pick up on your resentment towards her and exactly why because youve probably given hint after annoying hint that you feel entitled to her offering this 
have you ever been a Stay at home??? Shits hard af! Ive been a mother for 12 years now and the first half I stayed home and felt my life was much crazier, and felt at my wits end more then, than I ever have while also carrying my home AND working full time! I get people think its a cake walk but its far from it! Gosh, I just hope this is an april fools 
You sound like an entitled brat.
You’ve never even asked; you just expect the shit to be offered to you. What kind of friend is she?! You should really take a long hard look at the kind of friend you are.
That’s not her responsibility…it’s yours… Get over it…
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She probably doesn’t want to overstep lol put on your big girl panties and ASK for more help. But don’t take it for granted.
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There’s a new thing, it’s called ASKING. She’s not a mind reader.
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Whatttttt, this can’t be real. Also if you don’t trust your sitter to drive then why are they your sitter?!
I couldn’t get through the whole post of bullshit.
They are NOT her responsibility. They are YOURS and your husbands. She has her own life, own family, and own routine. You said in EMERGENCY situations she helps.I’d leave it at that. It doesnt make her a bad friend bc she doesnt help u with your kids. My bestfriend has two kids. I have watched them on occasion but 9 times out of 10 I tell her no. Bc I’m just not a big kid person. Have hardly any patience. Only for MINE. I dont want the responsibility. I’m good with just me and my child. And as a lot of u know, once u help once or twice, it’s expected. And maybe ur friend feels that way and just doesnt wanna get it started. Also have u ever watched HER kids and put THEM on the bus or came to the rescue in emergency situations? I understand u feel for as close as u all are, she should lend a helping hand more especially since u are neighbors and share the same school routine. But at the end of the day, nobody is obligated to help u. It totally rests on your shoulders. That is what a mother does. Some have ppl in their corner whenever, some have to figure it out by themselves. It’s life. I’d just stick to emergency situations and thats it. Bc u KNOW for a fact she’s not interested in helping so why try to push it? I know I wouldnt want my kids somewhere where they aren’t truly wanted.
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When you say “it’s not like I’m asking her to go out of her way” - here is a reminder that you haven’t asked her for anything at all. You haven’t asked if she would be able to help in your time of need, you haven’t asked if one day in the future she could lend you a hand with your kids if you find yourself in a jam again or under circumstances beyond your control like weather, etc…literally nothing. You have created a problem which she is completely unaware of. We can’t expect people to read our minds and to know and meet every single one of our needs blindly.
If you need help - ASK! I would be more than happy to help my friend in need. You name it, if I can help, I will gladly do so. But if I found out my “friend” had built up so much resentment and anger towards me and had refused to just come talk to me about it, leaving me completely unable to help the situation, that alone would be upsetting enough for me to reevaluate our friendship.
You also have to be prepared for her to simply say no. That she has other things on her plate and simply can’t help. Just because she doesn’t leave the house and go to a job every day doesn’t mean her obligations and responsibilities are any less important than yours. And if that IS the case, that doesn’t make her a bad friend or unsympathetic to your needs. It makes her a human. You are absolutely entitled to your feelings but what you aren’t entitled to (and this goes for everyone else on earth) is someone else’s time. Sometimes what you would do for others, they may not be willing or able to do for you.
Holding on to anger like this though is like drinking poison and hoping the other person will die. You are the only person who ends up suffering. I wish you the best of luck, living with that much anxiety over a situation is awful but if you want anything to change - it’s going to have to start on your end with communication.
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I don’t understand why you are upset. they are your children not hers . If you wanted to help both of you. have you offered to hire her to do this?? you are paying someone else why not ask her? She may be hurt that you didn’t ask her. you cannot read her mind anymore than she can read yours.
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As someone who has been both a SAHM and a working mom, either way I HATE MORNINGS. I have never been a morning person! Most families have some sort of routine they follow (up at this time, this long to get ready, this much time for breakfast, etc.) Extra kids (even for just 45 min) EVERY single day can be a burden. It’s very easy for kids to get off task and just an upset to the routine. That’s aggravating. Maybe she wants to just walk around in her pajamas with no bra till the last possible moment-- 45 extra minutes with kids who aren’t hers, puts a wrench in morning plan. She’s seems willing to help you out if there is an emergency, which is great. If you need her for a specific situation I would definitely ask her. But you have to think about what her mornings are like too.
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Kymberleigh Marcelle May Edwards uh what?
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I never offer to watch my friends kids. I raised mine without help. If they only want to be my friend to use me they can kick rocks.
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Having trouble even looking at her? Wow sis you need to take two steps back. ASK for help. The fact that ur husband is bothered by it is also nonsense. I bet her husband is a bad friend too Bc he doesn’t offer your husband tools or some stupid shit.
Your kid is not her responsibility. You’re sounding so ungrateful. Did you even ask her. And hopefully you offered to pay.
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A. No one is obligated to watch your kid except a paid sitter. Bot grandparents or a best friend. If they CHOSE to that’s great but not required or expected. B. She may not feel comfortable doing this or offering or even aware of your thinking it would be okay if she did offer
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Entitlement at its finest… Lol there is no reason for anyone to HAVE to do anything that suits you only. You don’t sound very empathetic to her needs either… What if she can ONLY handle her kid… What if she has things to do as a stay at home that require her to be attentive and can only watch HER kid. If its eating you up inside that you don’t have a friend who offers to do stuff for you… You need to start making friends with people who ask you to constantly do stuff for them… So that you can get a dose of how needy friends feel. Or ask her…since you’re so “close”.
Btw…needy friends suck… they LITERALLY suck…the spare time out of you. They make givers give up on giving so much lol Shes Prob delt with that already and just has learned to keep her mouth shut and not offer.
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Well this post backfired a bit 
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Why not just ask her?
Maybe you should offer to pay her.
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“Hey, this sitter/bus situation is getting really stressful, any way I could pay you to get ___ on the bus in the AM instead? No worries if not!”
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Your kids = your responsibility!! Your friend isn’t obligated to do a thing for your kids and to expect that is absurd.
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That’s your responsibility not hers. You Got a whole husband and your family. What’s wrong with asking them or husband finding someone. Girl get a life you, should have had all that together before and after getting the job. Yes, we all need help sometimes, but to base my friendship on babysitting your children is not in the contract. You better get a 2nd husband or another live in Nanny or girlfriend.
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Sounds kind of like you’re jealous she gets to stay home and assume that since she’s home she should just offer but you can’t expect someone to do something for you just because you think they should. You’re in the wrong. And if you were really her friend, why don’t you feel comfortable with just asking her?
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Your child your responsibility. Maybe she resents you for not sharing some of your paycheck. Sounds ridiculous right? Just like your expectation.
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I hope this is a April fools joke. Lmao
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Yikes for your “friend”. She has probably figured out that you would take full advantage of her if she offered her help even once, as I am getting that vibe just from reading this post. It’s also pretty clear you feel like being a SAHM means she doesn’t have as much on her plate as you do. I think she’s a smart girl for not offering and get the impression that you expect others to solve a lot of your problems. It’s tough, but it’s for you and your husband to figure out. People who solve their own problems wouldn’t EXPECT others to help and would be incredibly grateful that when you have had to ask, she hasn’t let you down. 
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Your child - your responsibility
Either ask her or stop moaning about it.
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She may assume you like the way things are…ask her. That’s the only way she will know what you want. She can’t read your mind.
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Just because it may be convenient in your mind doesn’t mean she always wants to have an extra child around to worry about. If you pay a sitter why not offer to pay her? Regardless if her child’s schedule is the same as yours, that would still require her to have to watch and care for your child and maybe even feed them. Maybe she doesn’t want that responsibility and even if she doesn’t mind you should still offer to pay for her time. You sound jealous that her life seems easier than yours. She doesn’t owe you anything and you should be grateful she has helped you in the past, doesn’t sound like you have ever offered her compensation. Just because you are friends doesn’t mean she has to be your free babysitter. You should never expect someone to watch your child for free regardless of the situation unless they are to offer their time without pay
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Have you ever been a stay at home mom? Because the way this is worded is almost as if that isn’t equivalent to having a full time job out of the house. She didn’t give birth to your kids and is not obligated to help you. You sound very entitled.
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WTF did I just read. 
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From what you said she has done it when you have asked when you were in a bind. That is what a friend does. Not fair to expect her to just offer. Just because she is a stay at home mom and is putting her child on the bus doesn’t mean she is comfortable adding the responsibility of your child to her morning routine. To assume she should for free is not being her friend. Every one is raised differently. Just because you would offer help doesn’t mean everyone would. By the way have you offered her help if she ever needs it? Stay at home parents could use help occasionally also. Maybe trade date night sitting for her getting your kid on the bus . Anyway feeling like you could lose a friend if you confront her accusingly. Don’t see how you have the right to resent her for not offering free child care to you. I wouldn’t even expect that from my family.
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What kind of friend are you to feel entitled to free childcare?
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Um no, you might be expecting too much?
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