We’re really good friends with my neighbors. We invite each other to birthdays, baby showers, message each other often, come knocking just to say hi and talk, notify each other when we’re out of town, etc. They’re a married couple in their late 20s, just like us, so we get along in many ways. Let’s call them Jane and John. We have another friend, let’s call her Lucy, who was casually dating some guy who was recently separated from his wife. Lucy has always wanted a child, so she came to an agreement with this man. The agreement was that he’d impregnate her, and then afterward, he can be as involved as much as he wants to be. Financially, she will never ask him for anything. They had a beautiful daughter. I finally saw a picture of this man. And it’s my neighbor…John. I was shocked. Lucy was shocked. She began piecing things together (i.e., she had never been inside his home, he would sometimes not be available for a couple of weeks at a time, etc.). We decided not to say anything, as it’s not our place. Jane recently shared with me how they have been trying to have a baby for over a year now and have been unsuccessful. It broke my heart. What would you guys do? Tell Jane and/or John? If we mind our business, we will have to break this close friendship up. It’s too hard to look at him in the eye and not see a snake, and it’s hard to look at her in the eye when we feel like we’re lying to her. Lucy won’t do anything about it. After her shock wore off, she just went ahead and continued in this relationship “for her daughter.” It’s just all so sad, really. Help us out? Break our friendship with them, or say something to Jane and/or John?
Please please please tell her. She deserves to know, you know what’s hurts more is letting it continue for years and years and then finally finding out. She could have the chance to be with a man who actually is full on loyal to her and doesn’t lie. If you were the woman wouldn’t you wanna know what you’re spouse did behind your back?? Please please tell her. You could break up the friendship but at least if you told her, they could maybe work things out. Or she could still stick to being friends with you. Please please tell her. This is so important and involves a child to.
I would want to know. It’s horrible to not know especially if you can tell her before she gets pregnant.
The wife deserves know. It may be hard but its better Now than when the daughter is older and finds him herself. .
Jane deserves to know even if it comes from you
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My friend got pregnant from my married neighbor: What should I do?
Keep quiet. And never invite her over when this other couple also will be there !!!
Leave it alone, not your business.
She deserves to know.
Ooof if it where me i would say something to jane.
Tell her if it was the other way around youd wanna know
TELL JANE! If it were my husband I would want to know!! Can’t believe some of these women.
Leave it all alone let god handle it
If I were Jane, I would want to know.
I would want to know! I wouldn’t want my friends looking me in the eye and knowing that. Tell the woman! Even if anonymously.
I would personally stay out of it. Eventually it will all be exposed
Turn the table…if this was done to you by your spouse, what would you do? I mean…all is fair in love and war!!
Stay out of it!!! Find new friends so ur not as available!!!
Honesty is ALWAYS number one! If my husband ever did this (he wouldn’t) I would want to know for sure rather it was from someone else or that person.
Mind your business and go your way.
My goodness I hope that if something like that was going on in my life and somebody knew, I would hope to God they would tell me
Have a cookout with all your friends. It’ll work itself out
Anonymously type a letter and take it somewhere and put it in the mail addressed to her. That way she knows and you can stay out of it.
Stay out of it. Mind your own business. Not your story to write. It will eventually come out!
Tell Jane. Turth hurts for a while but Lie hurts for alifetime
Those who stir the shit pot are forced to lick the spoon. I wouldn’t be getting in the middle of all that. Not my circus not my monkeys.
Tell her before she gets pregnant and is tied to him forever too
If you cant handle the lie then break off the friendship. Otherwise, leave it alone.
Sorry but she deserves to know…maybe write a letter
Literally no right answer. Do whatever lets you sleep at night.
Sick, twisted trouble! On both parties
If Jane were my friend I would tell her.
I would mind my business
I would have to tell her. If it was me I would want to know
What should you do?? Nothing not your problem
I think you should take John aside, tell him what you know, and give him an opportunity to tell his wife, BEFORE you do. This "friend " relationship is going to break up, whether you break it off or he breaks it off because of what he did. Put yourself in the wife’s shoes, doesn’t she deserve to know exactly who she’s married to? And if she’s the one with the fertility problem, she needs to know that, too. Ugh. This situation sucks all around.
Say something to John. Encourage him to come clean to Jane. Eventually it’s all going to come out and you’ll be in the middle when Jane finds out everyone knew.
This is a human being who created another human being with someone other than his wife (albeit they were separated) and he’s hiding it from his wife!!! Ummmmmm I’d be so upset with my husband if we separated and decided to get back together and he had all this happening and was hiding it from me. That’s not a marriage. That’s horrible.
Tell her!! Please tell her. She deserves to know. Or tell him that he needs to or you will
Talk about a rock and a hard place.
I would go to him first. Give him the chance to tell her before you do
Type an anonymous letter.
Tell her. Who knows, maybe it’s fate you get to her before he gets Jane pregnant too, and then she’s stuck with him in her life forever. But the poor woman deserves to know.
I honestly couldn’t keep up the lie for them. I’d have to tell her.
It’s weird that your good friend Lucy never saw your neighbor…
If Jane truly is your friend the only choice is to tell her. If she’s not, then there’s your answer.
Mind your own business. Better to stay out of situations that do not have anything to do with you. Everything that happens in the dark will come to light eventually, but it isn’t your business to tell.
Tell jane she shouldnt be stuck to a piece of garbage like that
I would keep this information to myself.
Wouldnt you want to know…especially when others do??
Mind your business. Not your monkey’s, not your circus.
You want other people to tell you what to do on Facebook. Fuck man grow up and don’t air someone else shit on social media
I don’t know… but I need to know how this ends lol
Say something!!! If the roles were reversed would you want Jane to tell you?
If my significant other was cheating I would want someone to tell me.
Leave it alone…its a terrible situation but not your business. I do understand your want to tell her though. Let it play out without your involvement
Day something to Jane and John. Might be hard but it is what is right. You will probably lose some friends but again, it’s worth it because his wife never asked of any of this and definitely deserves better
If it were me I would invite them ALL over at the same time
Just break off the friendship and let them figure it out you will lose all 3 as friends if you tell.
Definitely break the friendship with them and live in the truth. That’s why it’s so uncomfortable for you. You’re instinct is telling you that can’t look him in the eye because the truth hasn’t been revealed. The universe put them all around each other for it to be revealed. The other woman should know who she’s married to. That’s a for sure. Be free of all of it!
Tell the husband that if he doesn’t come clean and be a decent human being that you will Tell Jane yourself if he doesn’t Man up.
If Jane is your friend, you will tell her. If you can’t be honest with her then walk away, friendship deserves honesty. If the roles were reversed would you want to know?
Karma is real
I was in this situation last summer while living in a rental. After a huge legal situation came about and a 2 year old being left alone in the neighbor’s duplex so her man could run about with the lady down the road, I became that person and told the lady next door if everything that I knew of. I now own a home, so dont live in the duplex anymore and am still good with the old neighbors but am no longer friends with the lady down the road.
The truth will set you free!!
Send an anonymous letter
I think it is up to Lucy and John to tell Jane. I would stay out of it.
Immediately tell her. This seems like it will eat you alive and Jane doesn’t deserve this. John deserves to be divorced.
I would mind my business!! It’s not your business to get into. Maybe “Jane” already knows!
I would just leave it alone and just let them figure it out on there own… I’m pretty sure they won’t no of no1 say anything
I definitely would want to be told. An definitely before I got pregnant to them so i could move on with no ties to that ugly cheating person.
Stay away from it. Somehow you will be to blame. You are gonna lose the friendship regardless.
If I was Jane I would want to know
Karma needs no help from humans, an explosive device does not disarm with age, this is going to explode all on its own without your help and if “Jane” has a problem with your integrity after the fact then that karma will be hers to bear
You could casually mention your friend Lucy to John in front of his wife and see what comes of it. I bet he’ll realize that you know. And Jane will probably notice something is off. Obviously it’s just a suggestion and might not work but…
Not get into it cause it has nothing to do with you I wouldn’t even get involved in that take your self out of it
Ultimately would she believe you? Give him enough rope and he’ll hang himself.
Would you want to know if it was your husband? It does sound like this is bothering you, maybe the truth will set you free
Sounds like a headache that you shouldn’t take on
Your friend needs to go to the man and tell him he needs to let the wife know. It’s not fair to the daughter. I would tell him if he doesn’t tell her that she would let her know. It’s not fair he lied to his wife and her. He needs to be honest with his wife. You need to stay out of it. It needs to be between your friend the father and his wife. She needs to know but it needs to come from the parties involved.
Stay out of it! Not your circus, not your monkeys.
I would want to know. Had a similar situation in a prior relationship After I found out then my friends came forward that they knew. Didn’t feel like they were very great friends.
Anonymous letter with printed photos?
Maybe talk to John and tell him you know about the situation? Let him know that he needs to tell Jane about him and Lucy or you’ll tell her? I mean I know it’s none of your business but she is your good friend and it is kind of that is jacked up that John put her in this situation.
Either way the close relationship is gonna end it’s a no win situation
Whatever you do please keep us updated. I’m now invested in this drama.
It sounds like the friendship with them is probably over either way
I’d share what I know with Jane and tell Lucy you’re doing it. Wouldn’t want a friendship with a guy like that and girls stick together.
It’s not your place to say anything. You are neither the cheating husband or the woman who had his baby.
I would tell my friend because there is no way I could lie!
They didn’t ask you to be present when she got pregnant. Don’t invite yourself into the mess now.
Mind your own business sis!
So I wonder if all these women who are saying leave it alone or mind your business are homewreckers themselves? girl tell her and let her decide what she wants to do after that. You did what you could! Make sure you have proof as well. Because some won’t believe it and make you out to be the bad guy.
To be honest with you Lucy probably already told John that you know that they have a daughter. Lucy clearly doesn’t care that John is married. John and Lucy are both snakes. I would tell YOU to tell Jane and keep her friendship. I would not want Lucy as a friend she is not trustworthy because you have no problem being in relationships and having children with married men, I would not want John as a friend because he has no morals or respect for his wife if he has no problem having a whole new relationship and a child with someone other than his wife full on knowing that his wife wants a child. I would inform his wife as soon as possible before she is stuck having to deal with this man if he gets her pregnant.
Tell her. Could you imagine the heartache her and potential children might have later due to his poor choices to not tell her. She deserves an honest true man to have a family with god willing.
This is some crazy shit
I’d write a letter to her Anonymously with a picture of Lucy and the baby that way, you’ve spilled the beans but can still continue your friendship.
All the people that say mind their business. I’d rather be that girl who is honest than to ever “keep” a secret like that. Because if she finds out that you knew and never told her. You became part of the problem anyways. Might as well be able to sleep at night about the whole deal.
100% I would tell Jane immediately. She deserves this knowledge before she ends up succeeding in her pregnancy efforts then stuck in a situation she didn’t sign up for. Also, if my friend sat on this knowledge and didn’t tell me… well, our friendship wouldn’t end pretty.
If you were Jane’s real friend you would tell her. How humiliating it will be later for her to know others knew and let her walk around looking stupid and trying to have a baby with her scumbag of a husband.
Tell jane be there for jane as shes your friend and a victim shes needs all the honesty she can get! Lucy and john are snakes, i wouldn’t give a fk if i lost them as friends tbh!
Just say to her you want to be honest becouse nobody else will!
Invite them all over for a BBQ and let it play out. If the truth comes out there ya go happy now? If not mind your business