My friend got pregnant from my married neighbor: What should I do?

She deserves to know before she gets pregnant by him.

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If she is your friend, you tell her. Better to be informed before another baby is in the picture and if she needs to bounce she can without dealing with his cheating ass

If you were Jane would you want to know. I sure would, a friend is a friend even when the times get hard.

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I think the poor woman has a right to know her hubby is a douche!

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This story sounds made tf up bahahaha specially the wording is just off. :rofl:

If your truley good friends you should be totally honest !
How would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot !

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If you truly consider Jane to be a good friend then you should tell her.
Wouldn’t you expect her to do the same for you?

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If you don’t want to tell her in person 100000% send an anonymous letter! I’d tell her. Her husband is a snake and Lucy definitely knew he was your neighbor!!

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Girrrrrrrrl mind your damn business.

If that was your husband and he got his side chic pregnant wouldn’t you want to know??? I say tell her what a piece of shit husband she has

I would tell him either he tells his wife or you do. She doesn’t deserve this.

The person I feel most sorry for is “Jane” and she will need a friend more than ever if she ever learnt the truth so I’d try not to break the friendship off with her at least. You could try and distance yourselves from them as a couple but try and spend time with “Jane” when “John” is busy or at work.etc. so then it still keeps your friendship going with “Jane” x

Tell her before she’s successful at becoming pregnant with his child. She married for a partner in life and a future father to her future kids. He’s betrayed her. Let her know he’s fathered a child and let her move on with her life instead of 20 yrs down the road.

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Jane deserves to know it should be her choice if she wants to stay with her husband who has a child with another woman unless she already knows about it then so be it, no harm done. So all in all your friendship with them is over either way so you might as well just be honest. But get rid of Lucy as a friend she clearly not a decent person.

Its as simple as if this. If you were this woman, would you want to know ? How would feel if you knew your neighbors/friends knew this whole time and didn’t tell you. I would tell her immediately. She is going to find out regardless. Good luck!!!

I’m sure at some point she will find out on her own but how much more time will she waste with this man. If you cut off the friendship she will wonder and be hurt. I would say this is non of your business but since you live next to this drama it does effect you. Tell her but be ready for her to be mad at you too which she may or may not get over

If you guys told Jane and Lucy honestly didn’t know about it, it would’ve been best right away to save jane and Lucy wouldn’t have gotten in trouble but now it’s too late cuz now Lucy is in the wrong. But jane still deserves to know so she’s not kept in a toxic unfaithful relationship

100% tell her even if you could do it anonymously , but you are giving her the chance to be with someone who will treat her right before she starts a family with this man

I would tell Lucy that she needs to tell John’s wife. I would tell Lucy she needs to tell John that she knows he has a wife. What’s does is done but now knowing that John has a wife Lucy should stopped trying to get pregnant again. If no one does anything I would tell John you know what’s going on and that he needs to confront his wife.

She will have to face that demon when she’s ready, its best to let her deal with that situation not force her into how you would handle it, I got pregnant young and everyone told my parents before I was brave enough to deal with it, that wasn’t fair and caused more harm than good.

There’s a reason Jane has not gotten pregnant. It isn’t meant to be and would be even more devastating for her to get pregnant and then find out. Set her free, she has the right to know.

I would tell John I’m planning on having a few people over and ask if he wants to join. Tell him you have a friend Lucy who you think John’s wife would hit it off with very well. And give a little wink :wink: then he will know you know and his once little secret is not much of a secret anymore. Maybe it will push him to tell Jane on his own and you can still try to “mind your business” and your friends heart. But still in the end, she will know you tried to do the right thing.

I tell her. Cant be to mad at friend cause she didnt know who he was married too. Messed up she chose a married guy period but the friend should not hate her too much
Hopefully. Might need to end the friendships

Since there is now a child involved… You have to tell her, you don’t want her getting pregnant with her husband’s baby as well… I usually say don’t tell but this is a Must Tell Situation

But what if John and Jane have an open relationship and you say something and Jane gets mad at you.
I’d want to know if it was me but I’ve also seem women get pissed off at someone calling out the facts because it makes her relationship look unstable and messes up her imaginary happy home. I don’t know what i would do in your shoes but i’d kick lucy to the curb, your man maybe next! She’s definitely not trust worthy around married men.

She’s gonna find out one day no matter how hard he tries to hide it, you might as well tell her before they succeed at having a baby together

I’d have to just tell her. Normally I would say it’s none of my business but if I was to continue being friends with this woman I’d definitely tell her. I just couldn’t look her in the face, either tell her or move house… bty I think your other friend knew where this man lived and she also knows you are friends with him for sure.

I would tell her especially because she has no kids with this man at least she can get out now if she wants to leave him but just know you’ll probably lose both friendships if you do tell

Unless u were there and part of their conceiving there’s nothing u can do. It’s on them. Just because this was your friend it’s not your situation

If she’s your friend. You tell her. Lucy doesn’t really matter in the list situation. She didn’t know. She does now. But she’s in a weird place too Jane deserves to know before she’s tied to this man with a child.

I don’t know if you’ll see my comment since there’s so many but absolutely you need to tell her and soon!Although, before you do gather enough evidence proving it. It may not be your place to get involved but if she’s truly your friend, it really is the best thing no matter how much it hurts. Do it in the sweetest way possible and let her know you’ll support her decision in whatever she decides, also please do it before she tries to have a baby with this man so it gives her a choice if she still wants to continue the relationship with him. She’s still young and has time to find another relationship if she wanted too. There’s a possibility you may lose a friend if you tell her but Understand that’s a hard situation to be in and it’s better for the truth to come out, especially if she ever found out you knew beforehand, it’ll hurt even more to her.

Please tell her. Shes young enough to leave this guy and has no attachment to him whatsoever as of NOW.
Dont allow her to get pregnant by this man
Please.
What if that was you?
Wouldn’t you wanna know?
No matter who tf told you?
I know i would.

Personally, I would decide first how important Jane is to you. There are many factors that are going to crush her heart. Her husband cheating, her husband having a secret child that has been hidden from her AND the fact that everyone around her knew and didn’t tell her. I’ve been cheated on, I felt like an idiot when everyone around me knew about it already. I would NOT get them altogether and make them talk as that is just a huge embarrassment for everyone involved. I would honestly talk to John and tell him that you know and that HE needs to tell Jane or that YOU will. Don’t let this woman continue to be blind to what’s going on if you care about her. If you don’t care for your friendship with her, then you can mind your business. But the moment she finds out you’ve known about it for some time and decided not to say anything to her, she will probably never talk to you again. But woman to woman, protect her from embarrassment and humiliation. The news will be enough to truly break her.

Definitely tell ‘Jane’ so she doesn’t waste any more of her life with him.

If you must get involved, perhaps anonymously send a picture of the little girl to their house and attention it to Jane with a note that says there’s something you need to speak to John about. If you confront John and threaten him with an ultimatum - you have no idea what he will do. You could be putting certain people in harms way including yourself.

If that was my sister and or someone dear to me being cheated on. He’ll it’s my business. Nobody walking over my family. I ain’t about having my fam catching std or whatever the ef cheaters be running into :tipping_hand_woman:.

Tell her as someone who can’t have children it’s really hard to want that so bad and then realize u r being played by the person u want it with. Tell her

Talk to Lucy, and both of you talk to the wife alone. You can say you just found out and if Lucy has any messages saying that John is single etc then the wife will believe more and not call Lucy a home wrecker (if Lucy rolls that way) still Jane needs to know before she wrecks her life. And honestly Lucy should take his ass to court and get full custody and make him pay for child support.

Tell her. She has the right to know. Wouldn’t you want to know if your husband was cheating? Friends are honest with each other. Invite Jane over ( just her) and tell her. She needs to be able to make the decision to leave him or stay.

Simple answer here wouldn’t u want to know,how would u feel
If a friend was keeping that info from you? Not only is she being betrayed by her husband but if u don’t tell her your also betraying her I think she has enough people doing that with just her husband I know it’s hard but tell her

I would talk to John and get some more information. Then I would decide what the best course of action was, but I am leaning towards the fact that Jane needs to know.

Tell the girl so she can go find someone better :triumph: 20s…she has plenty of time to figure out having a baby with someone else.

Tell “Jane” in private, and show her the picture as proof. She deserves to know

I would want to know! Someone should tell “Jane” before she DOES get pregnant and is stuck with him.

I’ve been in Jane’s shoes. If the other women wouldn’t have stepped forward and talked to me…id still be married to a cheating narcissist that was destroying my life. Tell her…she will be hurt and upset. But as she heals she will understand how important you telling her was.

that’s disgusting, stop wasting her time. the fact that he can’t have a baby with his wife but did with your home wrecker friend says she needs to find someone who truly loves her.

You should definitely tell her I mean put yourself in her shoes wouldn’t you want someone to tell you it’s kinda obvious

If that Jane where me I would like to know … as a married couple nothing should be left a secret weather only one person knows or not … why get married if you out fu*king other people …

Not your business not your husband so how you will get bland for the whole mess let them figure it out they will get caught :100:

I would try to find a way for the wife to find out without directly telling her. She should absolutely know. I would want to know. Maybe leave a letter in her car or create a fake facebook and send her a message that way. I’d also drip that other friend. She doesn’t sound like a great person. But then again maybe the wife dose know and your getting involved for no reason. There are people with those kind of arrangements.

Say something for sure, would you want someone to tell you? Better she knows the truth and can make her own decision to stay or not. Either way support her decision.

I truly think you should tell “Lucy” to tell her, or you tell your friend “Jane” yourself, that’s a horrible situation. I can’t imagine if that was me in Jane’s shoes!

Tell her before she decides to have his child & is “stuck” with this man

Seems like you need a better friend then Lucy. It really isn’t your place. And she sounds like a shit women. Why should you ruin a friendship due to what your other friend did?

I say gather the evidence before telling her, because sometimes they won’t believe you and get mad, sounds silly but it happens, or confront John and tell him you know everything and he needs to tell Jane.

I’m the type who would say “Hey John how is your daughter that you had with the woman named Lucy” right infront of his wife. His wife deserves to know.

What do you mean “Lucy won’t do anything about it?”
I’m confused
Perhaps Jane knows already, maybe have her blessing?
If you must speak on other grown ups sex life, I’d ask John if Jane knows and Lucy’s baby?

Speak up please. I’d rather someone told me then lie and cut ties and make me think I’ve done something wrong.

Would you want to know if you were her? If the answer to that question is yes, then tell her.

But, blackmail him first lol.

I’m kidding, don’t do that.

Invite them all over for dinner.

Would you want Jane to tell you if the roles were completely switched? Also remember the whole “shoot the messenger mentality” as well. What a pickle

Sound like you not really a friend to Jane. Sound like you more friends with John and Lucy…
If I didn’t wanna get caught in the middle.
I would write a letter address to Jane. And write no return address . Drop it off at the nearest postoffice

Is there an assumption that the wife doesn’t know and that they weren’t separated? This kind of thing can happen too.

Why is Lucy living so close? Sounds like some evil Hallmark movie to me!

Did anyone read? He got Lucy pregnant….but he and Jane have been trying for a year to get pregnant

Do what you would want someone else to do if you were the unknowing in this situation.

Get out of those type of triangles. Get away from that drama, chaos and insanity. Chose Friends who don’t do husbands! KARMA will come.

Go to his wife and tell her the truth! She deserves to know and your not doing her any favours keeping it a secret

Tell her!!! There is no other option. Tell the woman who does not know her man has a baby

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This really is twisted and complicated, but you shouldn’t keep quiet for sure

My parents always told me that if you’re faced with a tough decision, usually the harder one to make is the ‘RIGHT’ one to make.

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She has a right to know. You’re not breaking things up by telling. He broke things up by cheating.

I would have to tell her. I would want to know if I was in that situation.

Blow the fucking whistle. This can only end badly for the baby otherwise

The real question would be is he involved in Lucy daughter life. What if jane knows he has a kid that he doesnt take care of. Maybe the reason Shes trying to have a child. Honestly its not your business to tell. Especially since it was an agreement made between both parties. Who is to say jane doesnt know about lucy??

100% tell her. Without a doubt. What if it was you? Would you want to know your husband cheated and had a child with another women, especially if you’re trying for a baby with him! This won’t be easy for anyone involved, but the sooner it’s out, the better. You can be there for her, she’ll need you.

Me, I would probably say something to my friend/neighbor Jane. I would mention it quietly. Not to be mean, but I feel Women should support each other.

The wife deserves to know!!! That is a canniving and absolutely dispicable thing for her husband to do behind her back

Gather the evidence and leave for Jane. Heck- mail from the next town. Just make sure she gets it. She will figure it out.

Mind your business. While she should know it will ruin your friendship if you tell her

Tell her!!! You would want to know

Say something to the neighbor. She deserves to know that he’s cheating.

It’s unfortunate your in the middle. I’d ask Lucy to tell Jane with you. Lucy didn’t know either that he was still with her.
This is a really effed up situation. Hes a scum bag and Jane deserves better

It’s not your business but if they’re trying this hard to have a child but he easily have one to another woman, it could be her that’s infertile and she doesn’t deserve to go through IFV with a disloyal,piece of scum! If he couldn’t be a faithful husband how will he support her mentally when she really needs it. As their friend, you should tell her with her husband there. If they work through it, that’s on them. In the meantime, she deserves to know and had the right to make that decision.

Put yourself in their situation. Would you rather know that your husband is a snake or should you rather sit at home thinking everything is perfect?

At this point, I guarantee Lucy has let John know she knows. A woman won’t be able to bite her tongue that long in a situation like this. Doesn’t mean she is dumping him. But I guarantee you she don’t like being the other woman and I bet you he knows she knows. And if that’s the case, I bet by now, he knows YOU know. Lucy will tell him. If it were me, I would call Jane over for some Mimosas and tell her everything. He’s had plenty of time to tell his wife. And he won’t. Either Lucy will get sick of it and tell her or youre going to have to.

It’s not your relationships to worry about. Stay out of it.

time to move. seller’s market!

I would either tell John and see if he fesses up… If he doesn’t then tell Jane…

Personally, I would want to know and would prefer to be told privately.

I would tell Jane honestly. She can cut & run from this guy. Her so called husband isn’t ne good for her n honestly not ne good for the other girl n child. If you don’t say ne thing then it’s allowing this guy the green light to keep doing as he pleases n railroading his wife n then if they r trying to bring a child into the world together. Only to have it blow up later. Honestly “Lucy” probably already told him. N he’s waiting to see how u react. I’m sorry but I personally couldn’t live with myself if I turned a blind eye knowing this and this man child’s blatant disregard to his wife and possible future child with her n also his disregard to his current child. As far as Lucy goes I’d be def questioning her moral compass n keeping her at arms length. My heart breaks for said “Jane” & the little girl bc the male in their lives is a douche n needs to grow up. But b4 Jane gets too invested and waists more yrs of her life with this, sleaze, I believe she should know.

She deserves to know who she is trying to have a child with… So tell her or break up with everyone. That is my 2 cents. Makes me sad for Jane… Women need to have eachother’s backs and granted Jane is not going to take it well because women rarely do when they are told there man is cheating. But you should do it anyway.

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Rip the badaid off. Sooner the better imo…you guys are stuck in the middle n a shitty spot to be in.

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Tbh to me your female friend doesn’t really sound like a good one, especially if she’s going to put y’all in any situation to begin with. Frankly, I’d ask myself, if she’d sleep with this woman’s man what would keep her from pursuing mine? The victim here is the guys wife. If it were me and my “friend” knew something like that and didn’t tell me, I’d drop everyone involved. Personally I’d want to know. But if you honestly feel like it’s not your place, then you shouldn’t have a place at their table. You should remove yourself from the situation altogether. :heart: Just my personal outlook to come for me! Lol

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The only one that should be telling the wife is the husband that cheated. It’s not your place to do it. I’d confront him and let him know you know and threaten to tell her if he doesn’t. Otherwise I’d stay out of it. I’d stay so far out of it I’d considering moving.

I would tell her. 10 years ago I was with someone who all my “friends” knew was cheating and not a single one told me anything. I looked dumb for a whole year after the cheating started before I found out by someone else. It hurts way more the longer it goes on. Tell her while she can make a clean break with no children to split with him

Leave an anonymous letter. Include some photos for proof…and let it unfold st a sage distance.
That way your getting her the info she needs and not destroying your friendship or neighbor situation

I was in this situation As much as I hated it I didn’t tell because everyone would blame me for the breakup for telling so I just kept my mouth shut hated it but I did and the truth came out and guess what my best friend moved away never to be heard from again I’m still friends with the husband It is a hard situation to be in so it’s hard it is up to you but let your friend know it is killing you to keep this secret

I’d mind my business and not get in the middle at all!!

Y’all saying mind ya business etc but if it was you you’d be mad asf. God forbid Lucy and John take they anger out on Jane bc you didn’t tell in time. These things remind me of the Watts story

If Jane is a very good friend I would tell her.

Tell John you know about his daughter and if he doesn’t tell his wife about it ,you will