I know it hurts to bring it up. If y’all are REAL close then you should be able to mention it in a way that won’t hurt her. Maybe y’all can do something together, it may be easier if she had someone to lose weight with. Ok, but if y’all aren’t buddy buddy’s then don’t say anything. 
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You should shut the fuck up. 100%
i gained 40 lbs in the past two years…i kno…i dont need anyone to tell me…unless u r offering to work out with her i would keep it to myself…just my opinion
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That’s a tough situation. I wouldn’t bluntly point it out to her…
If anything, maybe you should ask her to come over for a few days and go on hikes etc! Show her the scenic spots in your area (pick some easy trails) and have a good time together. 
If you don’t see each other on a daily, talk on a daily or even every other day….then I’d say no. I’d be ok with hearing it from my CLOSEST best friend, but be offended by someone whose only considered a friend bc of our past. Jmo
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Health reasons she may not wanna say? Umm QUARANTINE! Would u want some1 who u haven’t seen in a year to randomly say in so many words '“u got fat” if she says something then go ahead otherwise if u have nothing nice to say don’t say it
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In a word. No. She knows, she’s embarassed and struggling. Acceptancee, love and support will serve better.
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How is this even a question on here smfh
Don’t say wow U getting fat…but maybe hey is everything ok
Weight gain is a defence mechanism xxx
And then maybe U can work out together over Skype? Help a girl out x
My friend brought it up to me. In a very loving way. I wasn’t myself mentally, emotionally or physically and she recognized it. I love her the same still to this day… Her letting me know her concern was my motivation to get off my ass, lose weight and get in better health. Everyone else is saying no though so idk. Just sharing my experience with the situation.
Weight does not dictate health. Bodies change. I’d offer her support as a friend and check in with her but it’s literally none of your business what she weighs.
I have a free group that offers support for nutrition/wellness-it’s just a supportive atmosphere for women and I have a solid message of body love over body hate. I’d encourage you to join so you can be more open minded about what health vs weight truly means 
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I understand your concerns as a friend about her health… I was heavy after my second child and had so much inflammation I couldn’t stand it anymore and went to my doctor who agreed I was harming myself with my heavier weight. But I had to be finally fed up with myself and health to change. No one ever called me out on my weight gain after my second child, but I knew. When I felt my health and energy and self esteem deteriorating over it, I got help. You can try and open avenues to get her to speak about her weight gain (mine was the the damn depo shot), but unless she’s ready to speak about it and wants to change, you’re just confirming her worst fears of how others might view her.
Might want to be concerned with your own health because if you were my friend I’d knock you tf out for ever commenting on my weight. You don’t have to haul her a$$ around so might your own business.
I think if anything you shouldn’t say a word, just lead activities with it’s what you want to do and take reign of healthy social meals and activities.
What I mean is this . . . It’s a hard topic. She knows. She probably already beats herself up, dont remind if her of that . . . Show a different way and by doing so this may open chats she initiates.
In the mean time . . . Be an example. If you eat out, pick a smart choice and be like, "I gonna do Z, and casually mention you’re trying to be mindful of healthy decisions, then ask “what are you having?” Keep doing this every meal minus saying why you’re doing it
Or encourage going for walks, being workout buddies. Go bowling, do Dave & Busters active games and then be a good example with food & drink.
Maybe encourage walks/hikes for sun & social time, then offer up " I am really liking how all this activity makes me feel, maybe we should be workout buddies? Would you support me if I wanted to workout?"
Then she’s helping you and she gets a chance to offer up she wants to change.
Now, flip side . . . If you read this and aren’t willing to nudge her that way by being the change you want to see in her . . . You probably should just quit worrying about it cuz a friend that is asking from a place of genuine help and concern vs judgement would have no problem setting the example and encouraging her vs pointing out things that already burden her.
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Mind your business for real
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Absolutely not! Why the hell would you body shame your friend. You don’t body shame out of a place of love. That’s such bullshit and I’m glad I don’t have friends like you. I mean that in the nicest way possible. It’s coming from a place of love.
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As painful as the truth is, we can’t change people. Love and accept her for who she is, don’t let the struggle define things
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I’m obese and I look in the mirror everyday and clearly see I am fat! I don’t think she needs a reminder! As well maybe she had gotten on meds or something and gain weight as a side effect that is what proZac did to me in a matter of 90 days I gained like 40lbs
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I agree with the comments of just leave it be. She already knows. No need to embarrass her. But you could invite her for walks ect with you. I have gained weight due to hypothyroidism and Hashimoto Disease of my thyroid. I have tried so many things and only eat once a day but can not lose weight. So I am embarrassed and don’t need anyone to point out the obvious. But I wouldnt mind a walking partner ect.
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This is a mind your business situation. She knows she’s gained weight. It’s upto her if she wants to do something or is happy with herself. Mentioning it is going to make her upset & possibly disown her. She’ll feel like you can’t love her the way she is.
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You can state your opinion but I bet your will lose a fried
She already knows. Trust me. I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been, in my whole life, and it all piled on in the last year and a half. I know my health is being affected, and I know others can see it and are, as you put it, “genuinely shocked” when they see me. She already knows, dear.
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What makes you think she does not know she has gained too much weight? Unless you have a solution or you will be around to offer help don’t ask about it. Instead be a friend and lend an ear to help with the issue that led to overeating.
Do you think she doesn’t wake up in the morning and know she’s put on weight. How about just love her
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People overweight know they’re overweight! No you don’t need to comment about it! I don’t see the point of you commenting on her weight! It wouldn’t do any good.
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Offer to go on a nice walk or take a cooking class together.
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I can understand being worried about her overall health since obesity can lead to some problems BUT she also is probably very aware of her weight and it will likely hurt her feelings if you say something about it. There are also some conditions that can cause weight gain so it’s possible she’s battling something like that and hasn’t told you. Let it go unless she comes to you.
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It’s none of your business. 
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Someone else’s weight is none of your business. I’m 100% certain she already knows that she’s gained weight. The fact that you feel compelled to comment on her weight shows what kind of “friend” you really are.
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Why say anything? I’m sure she’s aware of what she weighs and how much she’s gained. It would b hurtful n serve no purpose but 2 hurt her feelings.
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I would not say anything she knows - maybe something else is going on just be available as a friend and make her comfortable she may open up . If you bring it up it most likely will make the situation worse
Believe me girl she knows she’s put on weight. She doesn’t need her friend to tell her. What she needs from you is love and encouragement not criticism.
Talk about your workout routines, your meal preps what you ate. And that will help motivate her to do the same.
Love her anyway.
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Personally I would appreciate my friend saying something I lost 100lbs and then gained most of it back during nursing school and pregnancy because I started eating crappy again and wish someone would have said something so it didn’t get that bad. Here I am now finally gone with it all again. Maybe she needs someone to talk to and is using food to hide her feelings. Maybe don’t necessarily say something specific about her weight but ask her if she’s ok or something
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So she put on about 60 pounds? So what? She knows.
If you say anything she may distance herself from you she already knows love her for who she is.
Mind your own business. Her weight is NONE of your concern. She owns a mirror. Don’t judge her-not everyone who is fat is embarrassed and ashamed nor should they be.
I would hate to have a friend like you.!!
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Offer her to go on walks with you. Hiking. Stuff to help her lose weight. I did that with my friend and she loved it. Actually got her into going for walks by herself and lost alot of weight and feels better about herself. I’m very proud of her.
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Believe you me, when we gain weight we know it. No need to point it out.
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Absolutely agree with these comments , dont put yourself in that place, it’s going to embarrass her and it might ruin your friendship. If she wants to make changes she will do it on her own or ask for your advise herself
she knows… why tell her and make her more uncomfortable? i would mind my own business and stay out of it period.
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My bestie tells me or i tell her if weve put on weight or are looking run down then we both do something about it together, i actually appreciate it sometimes i need abit of a boot to get my ass in to gear. In saying that you obviously dont have that sort of friendship so i wouldnt
This is where the 10 second rule comes in, if someone can’t fix something in 10 seconds, don’t point it out. In this case her weight, she can’t fix that in 10 seconds so don’t point it out. Also worry less about her weight and worry more about her mind, see if she’s okay, her mental health may be the reason for weight gain. Who knows maybe she’s on certain meds that effect her weight 
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None of your business. 
There is no need to point it out. Believe me she knows
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When spending time with her I would make sure I am not encouraging unhealthy habits but I wouldn’t make it a huge thing or have any big chat with her. Her health is her business and if she decides to disclose information to you that’s up to her. If not, your opinion on her health is irrelevant. What you can do is love her for her and focus on supporting whatever she chooses to share with you.
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There’s no way that she doesn’t know that she’s gained weight, you pointing it out will only make her feel worse. She may also have medical issues that she might not want to discuss with you.
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I just want you to know that it is completely valid for you to be concerned and ask if it’d be appropriate to confront her.
Regardless of the answer to your question, this page should be a safe place to ask these types of questions.
Your intentions are good and I’m sorry some of the women on this page are acting way more judgmental than they say you are. Your heart is in the right place.
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She knows just not mentally ready for a change
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I personally wouldn’t bring it up. She knows. Maybe more so ask about her mental health ask if everything is okay there because sometimes that could be a reason for gaining weight.
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how about you ask about her mental health before you go and make the girl more self conscious than you said she already is.
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She already knows. She owns both a scale and a mirror. Also, unless you have “MD” behind your name and an office where she can make an appointment, it’s none of your business to say a single word.
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She knows she’s fat 
She has a mirror she knows she’s overweight don’t embarrass her by pointing it out…
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Her weight is none of your business. I am sure she knows her own weight, and doesn’t need someone to tell her about it.
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Maybe hang out with her suggest going on nature walks together or going and doing things to be active but it’s rude to comment on anyone’s weight.
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You could help her out by maybe minding your dang business!
It could be medical, stress, mental health! Numerous things, I’m sure she knows she’s curvy and at the end of the day who cares!! If it’s something mental health wise I’m sure she will speak up when she’s ready!! You saying something could give her the impression you’re appalled and not happy about it which in that case makes you a shitty friend!! Just be a good friend and be there when she needs
I hope you say something and she knocks you out.
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Um I’m sure she already knows
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Anyone that’s overweight already knows it.
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Gaining weight cane be from multiple reasons!
Over eating junk food, thyroid is failing, kidney or liver issue, stress and anxiety etc
You don’t need to tell her she has gained weight, she already know it!
Rather be there for her and be like what can I do to help you feel more yourself again
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This is a joke right?
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She knows exactly how much she weighs and I’m sure she knows the health ramifications of her weight gain. Do you seriously think she doesn’t see it every time she looks in the mirror or sees her reflection in a shop window? You mentioning her weight gain under the guise of concern for her health turns my stomach. She needs better friends - friends that aren’t judgey and love her for who she is. If you truly cared about her you’d be supporting her through the cause not focusing on the symptom. SMDH!
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Why not urge her to embrace her body and love herself.
I’ve found that when we become happy with our bodies, we become happier in life, and we do less of the bad coping mechanisms like…eating!
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Holy hell. You wouldnt be a friend of mine if you were so rude to me.
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Don’t weight shame anyone 
she knows she has a problem. Instead maybe suggest a few activities yous could do together that are both fun and a little physical.
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Make some suggestions I mentioned I was going to the gym because I wasn’t happy mentally and it became girls time even if it’s over ft being that supporting friend
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She’s not unaware that she has gained weight. It’s not your place to say anything. You don’t even know why she’s gaining weight. She could have a thiroid issue which causes weight gain. Her gaining weight is none of your business. I know you’re concerned but pointing it out will drive her away.
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She is fully aware of her weight gain/ size. There is no need for your concern about her weight… you could concern yourself with making sure she is doing ok mentally. Be a good friend to her. But trust me, you pointing it out is not necessary and can just hurt her more
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I gaurinte you she already knows.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My friend has gained a lot of weight and I am concerned for her health: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
As a former fat girl, I’d say watch what you say!!! Its likely not gonna be taken with the intent you have. Best to stay quiet. She is well aware and likely having these talks with herself anyhow.
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I’m sure she already knows anything you could tell her.
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You should be able to judge if it’s a conversation you can have with her or not. You know her. I could definitely speak to my best friend about something like this but I know her like the back of my hand and would know how to go about it the way she would take it without being hurt or thinking it’s a mean thing. Only you can make this decision based on your friendship and how well you know her. If you truly don’t know if you should or not then don’t
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It’s not your place to say anything, I’m sure she is fully aware of her size.
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Believe me us woman are fully aware of our size! No one should point out anyone’s weight!!
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Someone has to want to lose weight for themselves IMHO
If you notice how uncomfortable the extra weight makes her why on earth would you bring it up, she obviously knows already. She knows she’s gained weight if she is self conscious about it and maybe she’s already working on it, or maybe she has health issues and is having a hard time keeping it off. Ask her how’s she’s doing instead of criticizing her weight.
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Mind your own business. 
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The size of her body has nothing to do with her health and quite frankly, if she wanted a conversation about it, she would talk to you about it.
I am 5’3" and around 185 lb.
I have a crap ton of chronic (and in several cases degenerative) illnesses. 12 different physical and mental health diagnosis from mild like allergies, to fibromyalgia… and I’m waiting on a 13th diagnosis. Been trying to get something diagnosed since May 2020. That has me pretty much homebound, barely able to drive, and barely ever able to go anywhere. there’s also absolutely no way that my body size can affect it
Want to know how many of them were caused by my weight?
𝐳𝐞𝐫𝐨
want to know how many of them are perceptibly affected by my weight? 𝐳𝐞𝐫𝐨
want to know how many of them would exist regardless of what my dress size is?
𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦
sure, I have disabilities. But not a single one of them has a damn thing to do with the size of my ass.
You said she sent you a picture. You were surprised at what she looks like now. That doesn’t indicate somebody who is close enough to even think about bringing up that conversation.
She said she’s uncomfortable with it, so why on Earth would you bring it up? She didn’t ask you for your advice. She didn’t ask you for your input. She didn’t ask you to comment on her body
You don’t know what’s going on. If it was your business to know, you would know.
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No. Just no. It is not your place to say anything. It’s rude, it’s inconsiderate and I’m sure you wouldn’t be telling her anything she doesn’t already know. Not your body, not your business.
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Sorry but mind your own business
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I’d be completely livid, devastated, embarrassed and hurt if my “friend” brought up my weight. I know I’m fat, I know I could stand to lose several stone, but I would no longer be talking to the person who pointed it out to me unnecessarily and unexpectedly. Reach out to see how she is doing on a general level, don’t pick on her weight.
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It’s none of your business 🤷 She KNOWS
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You think you could tell her something she doesn’t already know? She’s the one in the body. It’s rude and not your place.
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As someone who is obese? Don’t say a word to her! We KNOW we are over weight and we know what we have to do to better ourselves. Support her as she is and leave it at that. I know my health better than anyone else and while I can see your concern, you may lose a friend.
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To say your concerned about her yet you haven’t even spoke to her in a year is shady. Sounds like you just want to be mean honestly. If you haven’t even spoke to her out of genuine love. Don’t just pop up out of blue to call her fat. I mean seriously???
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Coming from the fat friend in a 26yr relationship with my best friend I would be so fuckin upset if she said something about it!! Cause believe it or not we know how big we are promise no need to point it out!!
As an obese woman, plz do not mention it to her. I can pretty much guarantee she’s aware there is an issue.
I agree with mind your own business, certain health issues and pregnancies causes weight gain. I would hate for a friend to look at me and talk about how worried they are with my weight like “thanks for bringing that up, my hashimoto’s/thyroid disorder made me aware and I was comfortable but now you’ve brought it up it makes me self conscious again.”
See what I’m saying, just mind your own business.
It would be the last time I ever talked to a “friend” like you
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Just suggest going to yoga together and see where it goes from there.
What’s there to say? I’m sure she is already well aware of her weight gain.
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Just how close is yalls friendship ? Think first if you were the one that gained the weight and how would you feel about her saying something to you about your weight. I have a couple friends, that I might say something and they wouldn’t hate me for saying anything. A lot of weight gain and health problems can be helped a lot by drinking water instead of anything else.
I’ve gained a lot of weight, found out in diabetic and I’m more on meds for it. Trust me, she already knows she gained weight so leave her alone.
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I understand where you think you’re coming from, but you shouldn’t mention something she already knows. It’ll make her feel worse. If you want to help her, make healthy food when you’re with her, ask her if she would accompany you as a gym buddy because you want to start your health journey with your best friend so you don’t feel alone, try not to bring junk around her or feed into the problem. If she says no or decides to indulge as she wishes don’t mention it or say anything. Just try to model foods and behavior you think would help her without saying anything. She will either not want to or she will join you and it could help her give her the push she needs. That’s the only way I can think of helping without ruining a friendship or making her feel bad about herself.
I’m not gonna go down the route of these other comments…“mind your own business” is not helpful.
If you are her best friend then asking questions about how she has been or what’s been going on in her life may lead you to the answer. It could be stress eating, loneliness, depression or a host of other things. You can talk about those causes without mentioning her weight. Maybe she needs someone to confide in and talk about things that could lead to lifestyle changes…you can ask questions to get to the root cause of it…just be tactful
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She knows how much she has gained. There’s no need to comment on her weight, but you could ask her how her health has been.
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Eww…. You’re a nasty disgusting friend
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