My friend stopped helping me with my kids...advice?

I started working 3 months ago at a job I absolutely love , the friend my husband and I are letting stay with us agreed to watch the littles while I work . They’ve been helping tremendously and then the past 3 weeks hasn’t . Won’t wake up , isn’t making my kids breakfast , won’t help my husband at all get them ready like he promised to for school (we have one car so my husband drops me off and comes back and by the time he’s back it’s 7 15 ish) now my husband has to rush to get them to school on time and make sure they’re fed , in clean clothes . And ready for the day . ( my kids are 5 and under ) He hasn’t been helping at all he lives with us and doesn’t clean up after himself , is portraying his part of staying . He has no job (we buy him things he wants or needs clothes food etc ) what do I do ? I’ve been late everyday the past two weeks . And Ihe had to call out multiple times due to babysitter .

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Get rid of your room mate

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We only 1 car right now. We all get up and ready at same time, load up, drop off kids, drop off me and then hubby goes to work. Is it an option for yall do that ? That way he isn’t rushed getting back to get kids.

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Sounds like he needs to move out. Would be giving that friend a 30 day notice to move. I would also require that friend to go get a job in order to continue living with you. Every place is hiring right now, there’s no excuse.

This friend is no longer living up to the agreement, and for that, it’s time to move on

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He needs to go. You need to find reliable help

Kick him out and get a reliable source of help.

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It sounds like it’s time to have an adult conversation with this individual and lay down the law. This was the agreement. This is what I need from you. If you cannot adhere to the agreement, then neither I and you must find a different place to reside.

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Time for his free place to stay to disappear. If he can’t or won’t help even on some basic level he needs to go… :woman_shrugging:t2:

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Apparently you didn’t know your friend as well as you thought you did…I definitely wouldn’t be leaving him or anyone with the responsibility of my kids. 2 parent household should be able to handle this on their own. Kick him out and work out a schedule with your husband, that works for your household.

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Holidays are hard, you said last few weeks…maybe he’s struggling and doesn’t know how to say it. I’m sure he also notices the change :100: Food for thought

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If he isn’t contributing anything financially then there’s no reason he can’t help especially if that was the agreement from the get go that he’d be helping out with the kids in exchange for a place to stay. I’d have a conversation and let him know he needs to either starting paying bills, helping with the kids or GET OUT.

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Show him the door, it’s time for him to grow up and be a man before something serious happens in your home.

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Sounds like he needs to go.

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Tell friend to kick rocks if they aren’t going to help you out. Make the boundaries and structure clear and if it doesn’t happen kick them out of your house.

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Sounds like you have 3 children like be fr​:joy::joy::roll_eyes:

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Ummm time for you to be a grown up and take care of your responsibilities

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He’s worn out his welcome…

You get rid of his ass :joy: you already know what to do!

Have a talk with him and tell him he either needs to contribute or he needs to get out

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Time to put a foot down tell him to step up like he said he would or step out

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If he can’t pull his own weight by helping with the kids then it’s time to get him our. He’s mooching off you

If they were helping tremendously and then stopped they have a reason for that. Maybe ask them if you or your husband upset them or if there is an issue.

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Never allow a man to take care of your children no matter what is in exchange. That is dangerous. Next, kick him out.

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If in the U.S Check with your state about daycare assistance and get littles into a daycare then give the “friend” a real talk with options. 1 get a job and start paying his fair share or be served with a formal eviction.

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Time to put him out. He’s not pulling his weight.

It’s time for him to leave

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I’d be telling that friend it’s time for him to move the heck out. Like yesterday. Absolutely not. Your giving him every reason nit to leave.

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Sounds like he established residency and went back on the agreement. Tell him he needs to get back on track with your agreement or he has 30 days to find somewhere new. Look into eviction laws. It can get messy quick even if they’re not on the lease.

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If he’s not doing what he promised, kick him out?

Can’t contribute then don’t let him stay…

He’d be out of my house🤷🏼‍♀️

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start with a chat to simply put schedules, expectations and see what everyone’s thoughts are about it. see what’s been going on, maybe friend isn’t realizing their lack of help is having this much effect, but no. it’s not ok, they can move out if checking him on stuff doesn’t get through

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You kick him out, that’s what you do

He needs to go tonight :+1:

Show him the door you are being used

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Time to send them on their way I think…:thinking: good luck :smiling_face_with_three_hearts::england:

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How do other parents cope getting kids fed and ready for school before starting work… :thinking:

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The freeloading is over. I’d give “friend” a time frame on how long they have to get out. It’s no longer working.

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If he isn’t pulling his weight in the household then it’s time for him to go. Most cohabitation situations don’t work and will never improve because one side will feel like they are contributing more than the other and it gets toxic quick.

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Kick your friend out and get your kids ready before you go to work. So by the time your husband drops you off and gets back, they’re already ready.

Have you ask what’s up? Have you 3 had a conversation about it? I would start there.

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Simple Kick out the looser and get kids into day care. End of problems and a happy life.

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Have a talk with him and explain if he can’t do what he is supposed to with helping with the kids then he needs ti find somewhere else to stay.

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Kick him out. If that was the agreement

This isn’t that hard! Kick him out!!!

Kick him out. Find someone dependable.

Kick him out. He’s not contributing, he’s not family, you have no obligation to house & feed him. He needs to get a job & find another place to go.

Well, what would you do if he DIDN’T live with you guys??? That’s what you need to figure out and do! You can’t rely on someone else to care for your kids.

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Stop buying him things and tell him to get a job to contribute to the household. Those are yours and your husbands children so if you’re running late because you’re doing parental responsibilities then start your day earlier.

Kick him out, work opposite shifts so you always have a sitter

I think you know ow what you need to do already.

If he isn’t paying rent, etc. and now refusing to help, show him the door. He can find some place else to live. Or the street.

Kick him out, how is this a question

Show him the door plain and simple

I would not force him into watching my kids, that could result in bitterness and resentment on his part which could in turn be a threat to your children. I would just tell him things aren’t working out as planned and he needs to find somewhere else to live asap.

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Kick him out and find a sitter.

Get up earlier fir your kids and get rid of the friend

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It’s time for him to move on. You don’t need a grown up child to take care of.

You kick him out as he isn’t doing his sharw

Boot him out old enough to understand there’s no such thing as a free ride

Actually… is your roommate okay? Sounds like me when I get depressed.

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Kick him out never good to help someone out and they do that to you

He needs to go and you need to find dependable childcare.

First of all why is Ann laugh reacting at this? Depending on how long he’s been there you might have to actually draw up some eviction papers you can put a 30-day notice on his door stating that if he leaves before that 30 days then you won’t take him to court and get an eviction on his record if he refuses to leave then by all means take them to court you can make it a three day notice a five day notice point is is if he’s been living there a while and he gets mail there you cannot just kick him out like everybody commenting here seems to think but I also agree with another commenter saying you all need to sit down with him and reestablish your agreement put it in writing and make him sign it if he refuses or if he or if he does what he’s supposed to do for a few days then stops again put that notice on his door

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If they are watching them while you are working… it is still your responsibility to care for them while you are there. That includes breakfast, getting them ready for the day etc… their responsibilities don’t start until you guys walk out that door.

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My husband & I work different shifts … no need for babysitters … I dont trust people :woman_shrugging:
Try it … We can’t always be stuck up our husband’s asses either … they’re grown adults … They got this … lol

1st of all ur enabling him by taking care of him & that’s probably y he is that way I mean think about it…u guys need 2 grow some ba#s & put ur foot down & u have 2 give ultimatum I mean come on these r obvious answers

Your mouth has stopped working? Let your friend know he has a choice to either help out or move out.

Let me act all timid to speak to anyone living in my house nah. Steups

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He’d be moving out and I’d be finding a way to get a second vehicle. It would save so much time in the morning if you helped get the kids ready and then you both left separately for work/school

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Get a white board and set out times/time-frames you expect these agreed upon tasks completed. Explain what happens in the event they are failing to fulfill their obligations. And please everyone reading this…GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING AND HAVE THEM SIGN. People always think it’s rude because “but it’s my friend” but your friends are the most likely to screw you over. I have never heard someone say “gee I wish I never had my friend sign that agreement before they moved in”

Making your kids breakfast wtf?

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Kick him out he’s not sticking to the agreement why should you.

Start charging rent or evict him

Dude would be gone and y’all need a nanny

There’s a bit of a difference between helping out with kids and becoming a nanny, which is what it sounds like you need.

Maybe sit down and come up with clear expectations. Or if this is a morning issue, perhaps look at buying a run around car so your husband can take care of the kids in the morning.

If the plan isn’t working, I agree with the 30 day request to vacate. Put it in writing as well so if he decides to squat you have a trail.

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■☆☆☆Sounds like they or he whomever needs to get out. ■☆☆☆
I wouldn’t want someone like that watching my children for 2 minutes.
Has a mental problem, drug problem, laziness problem or something either way your children will suffer at the hands of someone who is incapable willingly or not.
Now your whole family and household is suffering.
Not everyone has the mental capacity or capability to be responsible for children let alone young children.
Take this as a Red Flag :triangular_flag_on_post: a sign that this is not what is best for your family besides everything else he is doing and not doing. Get him / them gone immediately asap. :hammer::man_judge::wave:bye bye peps

Friend is not a friend or has serious mental problems. Give him an ultimatum and a date. Hire someone reliable

Kick him out an put kids in daycare

What we can do? Maybe it’s time for him to go

He’s on drugs- get rid of him

Honestly, sounds like dude is depressed because he can’t find a job and his “friends” are taking advantage of him.

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Me and my husband tried letting a friend stay with us, same exact situation and agreement and they didn’t do it so we kicked them out

it’s not other people’s responsibilities to raise your kids.

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What to do? Ma’am you already know…kick him out.

Get rid of him and parent yourselves

You need a written lease with a list of responsibilities. Helping with kids, chores around the house, put in at least 3 job applications a week. Rent from this point is $xxx a month which he will start paying with his first pay check. He agrees to fullfil his responsibilities as part of your household, have a job & pay rent within a month or agrees to vacate. If he refuses to sign agreement start the eviction process immediately. Without a lease agreement he’s a squatter. The process to get rid of a squatter is long & difficult.

In the future never let anyone live with you without a written lease. It’s too easy to take advantage of someone. US laws are messed up.

:woman_shrugging:t3: tell him to step up or get out.
Simple

Kick him out… won’t tidy up after himself ect bye boy, doesn’t work. Is he yours and your hubby’s manchild ? Why should you both have to look after a adult that won’t adult ? :thinking:

I’d “300 kick him” out the door.

Well he needs to move or get a job to help with the bills. He not going to tho I would tell him it’s time to find another place. He using you

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Don’t buy him another thing and start the eviction process now!

If that’s the trems of them living there they need to leave

Kick him out if he cant help out at all thn he needs to go find himself a tent outside!! Why does he think sll is free whn nothing is!! Smh…:thinking::face_with_raised_eyebrow::disguised_face:

How old is this dude!? If he’s past 18 years, kick him out and forget what he even looks like! Seriously?You couldn’t work that one out, without bringing it to Facebook? Learn to respect your self, then you can set the standard for what you’ll put up with.

Time to tell him to leave

Simple
Pack all his stuff into garbage bags
Toss them out the door and
Kick the bludger out
Problem solved

Why is he still there then🤔

Tell him he said he would help and he’s not doing that. If he doesn’t he needs to get to stepping

Helping you is when you need help… your having them do what exactly?

Is that your husbands boyfriend or …