A friend found out her baby daddy had been cheating with multiple, and I mean over 19 females, their entire five-year relationship. She left him, and about three months later, he has a gf that is now around their child constantly. Friend wants to meet this new gf to make sure she knows who’s around her child. Ex and gf refuse to let mom meet the gf. Is she overreacting by being utterly upset? This new gf has been around her baby without her knowledge for about 4-5 months now.
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It sounds like she only wants to meet her to cause drama. Are there legit concerns she has? Is there a specific reason she wants to meet her? Sorry to say, It’s his life and she needs to let it go. If she’s that concerned about it, then she needs to take him to court.
She has every right to be upset and meet the woman around her child, bUT now may not be the time. She needs to break it down that he wouldn’t want some strange man around the baby, and vice versa. Maybe you all can chat via text before meeting, but if this lady is going to stick around, they should meet and leave the drama elsewhere. For the baby’s sake 
I was going to say the same thing. Good reply
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. My friend wants to meet her exes new girlfriend but he won't allow it: Advice?
I think that YES, as the child’s mother it is only right that she get to meet the woman helping to care for her child.
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I don’t think she’s overreacting. I’d personally want to know who was around my child because you just never know. But legally unless they have something in their custody agreement there isn’t much she can do. Without going back to court. Least were I live.
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He is being an ass. You have every right to know who is around YOUR child!
Um, sounds like she’s not permanent yet. She shouldn’t be around the child to begin with until the parents have spoken about it. Period.
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She has every right to know who her kids are around. My husband has kids with 2 other women and I willingly met them both as the kids come first
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I am in the same boat…2 weeks into their new relationship she finally messaged saying to be a better mother…at which time I finally learnt her name. Yes I asked to meet her and I was told she was a babysitter so no need to meet her…6 week into their relationship family photos were done…yes family photos. They moved in together after 2 months and I still have never met her. My baby is going to be 3 in December they have only been together since September 2020
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I would want to meet someone that will be around my child all the time
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Every momma has every right to know who is around their child
Even if the baby dady is with a new person
The mother should be allowed to know who that person is
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The child wouldn’t be around her if I wasn’t allowed to meet her
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Check your papers. If they say you get to meet them then yes, but otherwise no.
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If I’m not gonna get to meet said gf then neither is my child but that’s just me I wanna know my baby is gonna be ok around someone
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Unless its specific in court order, legally he doesn’t have to allow mother to meet new significant other but as a mother, I agree with wanting to meet new woman who will be influencing your kiddo.
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I’d be pissed. Her kid. She wants to know she has every right.
I don’t think she’s wrong for how she feels but unfortunately unless there is a legal reason she doesn’t have a say in who he brings around their child. She could go about it a legal way if she has legit concerns.
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I just told my ex that I wanted to meet his wife before the kids were around her alone. We met up at his parents house. I met her then, my children spent the weekend with them.
I’m on the fence about this. but we are all different I trust my kids fathers judgement. yes I’d like to meet them if they are permanent which in my case he married the girl. but you can’t control who he brings around the child sadly. unless it’s in the custody agreement.
Personally nobody meets my child until I do, he wouldn’t have even had an opportunity to bring another women around my son before meeting me.
I mean she has the right to know who is around their child
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Wanting to meet the new guy is normal. However there is nothing that says they have to allow it. Unfortunately she has no say when child is at his home. My ex tried this and the judge told him it was none of his business who I had in my home. Why don’t they want her to meet them? Has she acted a fool? Has she been rude?
Uhh, she needs to meet the girlfriend. Id tell the ex/father, did you not see the girlfriend that killed samual, a 5 year old in Texas. I wouldn’t let my children around until i did meet her, got her information, and did a background check. It’s insane to me that the father would not allow them to meet. Check custody papers, mine states hes not allowed to have a girlfriend around.
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I don’t think how she feels is wrong but I’m not sure what she can do about it. She doesn’t have a say on who he brings around the kids just like he doesn’t have a say who she brings around the kids. Unless there is a court order that says otherwise. I guess she could keep them from seeing the father but if and when it goes to court it wont look great on her.
It’s respectful to let the other parent now. But it’s not required, and ebf and new gf aren’t obligated in any way.
Good Mamas have instinct if she is custody parent she is every right to demand to meet this person if not he can go to court and explain to a judge or a referee why he’s acting way is why is he hiding her this guy doesn’t sound like much of a loss anyway just make sure he gets what’s owed to that child support and also all him to be around as a father which when I’m reading already he doesn’t sound like he will be
Sketch. I think your friend has the right to meet the girlfriend. She’s around her kid she deserves to meet her and at least know she’s not some crazy person who could harm her child.
Sadly, once you separate, it really just doesn’t matter. Courts not going to refuse him his child cause baby momma didn’t meet the new girl.
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That’s bullcrap she has the right to know who her baby is around .may I suggest a surprise visit .this way she not only meets the gf but the condition of their house that he baby is in .I would also have a camera ready just in case the place is a pig sty
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I have no control over hat happens at my ex’s house… and he has no control what happens at my house.
His new gig was around my kids for a few months before we met.
But we have a good co-parenting relationship and I trust him.
Our parenting clearly states we are on control over our own houses.
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As long as she’s good with the kids, why does it matter… you can’t control the other person anymore, and you definitely won’t stop it from happening… gotta learn to just be ok with it
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The new gf doesnt have to meet her at all. The new gf shouldnt have to if she doesnt want to meet her. Nothing ur friend can do about it. Her ex doesnt have to let ur friend meet anyone he is dating. Who he has around his kids on his time is none of ur friends business. She cant control who he lets around the kids.
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As a mother I totally understand wanting to meet someone that is going to be around my child a lot and will have a decent amount of influence on my child. However unless it’s in a custody agreement, I don’t think she can dictate that. And if she insists on meeting the new gf then she better be okay with the father demanding the same when she gets a bf. That’s a 2 way street.
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Well she’s his new gf so the childs gonna be around her
She has a right to know the people around her kid.
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Unfortunately, unless custody order says, it’s none of her business.
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It would be respectful for him to let her meet, but it’s not required… and a court wouldn’t agree either unfortunately 
once you separate it’s at each parents discretion to make the right choices about who their children are around so hopefully he is making decent choices for his kids
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I understand her point. I’d want to meet the gf but it’s really not up to her.
I understand how she feels however she needs to push her feelings aside and if dad is capable of caring for baby then you have to hope he has the sense to only have someone around who will do the same… would it be nice to mee and a courtesy on their part? Yes absolutely however I wouldn’t put all my energy into it.
Nope. If she has any respect between the co parents and the child she would gladly meet mom.
Although now he is my ex, I still talk to my exs ex wife and love her to death.
I don’t feel she’s overreacting.
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The mum in me is totally on your friends side its hard with kids not knowing who your around but as a partner who’s been on the receiving end of a psycho ex too i wouldn’t wanna meet the mom yet either if dad said no,his crappy relationship choices don’t reflect on his parenting, she trusted him for 5 years he should be trusted to protect his child and make good choices wile he’s parenting. Yep in an ideal world it would be great for all to be friends but maybe it’s just not that time yet, that’s not to day it won’t ever happen its just not upto your friend and shouldn’t let her upset intervene in her child time with dad.
Definitely not overreacting… You have a right to know who is around your child PERIOD! Seems like there is a reason he doesn’t want her to meet his new girlfriend . Maybe she’s bad person,a friend she didn’t expect to entertain him, someone he knows she won’t approve of etc. . There’s only one way to find out . She shouldn’t worry so much about what HE wants , she needs to find out who the woman is then meet her. After she meets the woman she can conclude how she feels about her child being around the woman and put her mind at ease .
I’m a mother and step mother… it’s not your friends place to decide if the girlfriend is right or not… it’s the fathers. If she doesn’t trust the father then that’s an issue that needs to be addressed before this. If she did meet the girlfriend that doesn’t do anything at all 
and noone knows anyone when meeting them a few times anyway 
The kid has been around her this long… tell her to leave them alone!
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I am sorry any Woman/Man that is gonna be around my child will meet me or you will not see my child js…But thank goodness I dont have to worry about that crap anymore
I understand y she feels this way, but it’s kinda pointless honestly. Meeting someone doesn’t make u know them
My ex did the something i dont care who he gets with as long as his girlfriend treats my daughter with respect
M opinion she has every right to meet and know who is around her child. I know I would lose my shit if I were her. No woman would be around my child without my approval and meeting her first and I would give the same respect to my BD if I were to ever decide to bring a man into my sons life, he would have the opportunity to meet the man first and see how his child acted when meeting this man and how they interact. That’s my opinion and beliefs, everyone is different. I’m not 1 for bringing bf/gfs into your kids lives unless you’ve been together a while and plan on being together and know each other well enough.
Unfortunately, mother gets ZERO say about who the child’s father decides to have around the child; he does not have to let them meet.
Nope she has a right to feel any type of way… that’s her child granted it his child to but the road goes both ways I’m sure dad would want to know who his child’s going to be around… and if they don’t want to meet up with mama right there my friend is a huge red flag
Sure, I’d feel some kind of way if that were me but at the end of the day there’s nothing she can do about it
Nothing she can really unless she wants to take it to court, I would be upset to but can only take it to court
I’m sorry but 19 unfaithful acts during the coarse of a 5 year relationship with a child in it is totally relevent to this mans pattern of behavior and judgement, petition to modify visitation until you can assess his newest “squeeze”, either he’ll let you meet her or you’ll meet her in court as he attempts to defend his latest choice to the judge
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It would be the healthiest thing for all involved, but maybe they know healthy interactions just aren’t possible yet. Unfortunately you can’t make any demands that aren’t in the custody agreement when it comes to who he brings around your child.
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If you can’t be woman enough to introduce yourself to me, then you don’t need to be around my kids. 
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I don’t have any kids but all I’m seeing are these comments saying you’re legally not required to meet every person brought around your child . These laws are going to get y’all’s kids fucked up .
Please make sure your kids are safe . Even your closest of friends could secretly have IIl intentions. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure you know where and who your children are with at all times .
My Ex husband and I had a rule between us. Casually dating they don’t meet our kids but if it turns more serious then they meet the ex spouse then the kids.
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Unfortunately even if she doesn’t like the new girlfriend, there’s nothing she can do about it. Her ex can have whoever he wants around his child/her child. You can’t control that. I wish you could.
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None of her business unless something bad is being done. Sounds like she’s just being nosy
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She has a right to know who is around her child
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You can be annoyed but tbh the dad has every right to say no the same as you do if she feels so uncomfortable she can try take it to court but a judge would tell her the same
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I wish it was that easy. My child’s father has been dating a girl for 4 years & I’ve yet to meet her. I finally get to meet her next weekend. Wild.
Your business is with the father not her. If they were getting married than yes but other than that let it go
Im sorry then baby wouldn’t be going with the dad unsupervised at all.
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Depends. If they weren’t married and there is no court order, then in my state the mother automatically has sole custody (even if father signed birth certificate)- which means she could definitely call the shots. She needs to talk to an attorney.
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She has every right to know who is around her child.
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She has every right to know ho is around her child especially if he has history of going from one to the other
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Besides worrying about getting meet people id check 
myself after all them
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Who’s around the child when not in moms/ dads care is not anyone’s business.
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If she trusts the dad, she needs to trust his judgement of who he has around the child unfortunately 
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yup. non of her buisness unless child is in harm. there is absolutely nothing she can do. her best bet is to get over it.
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It’s not your business or hers honestly. Baby’s dad sounds like a douche for cheating, but if he’s a good dad and involved in his child’s life and loves his child, she needs to trust that he wouldn’t have anyone around their child that would do harm. Once a couple is split, what the other person does is no longer their business. As long as there is no harm to the child, leave it.
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I mean, call it petty, but my children will not be around anyone I don’t know 
You don’t know who tf these people are or could be. Allowing it is what leads to children being hurt and killed by stepparents and significant others all the time.
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From personal experience my ex wouldn’t let me meet his gf even when he wanted to introduce her to our son and it pissed me off because I never cared about them dating I just wanted to know who was around my son especially since the only thing my ex ever told me about her was she was a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. It took almsot 2 years before I even got to meet her 
I always had a gut feeling that something wasn’t right about her and sure enough that gut feeling was right she sexualized a photo with my 2 year old posted a picture talking about buying him alcohol for his 2nd birthday posted on public social media hiw she was suicidal and hiw she prtends that her doctor gives her Xanax it got so bad I had ti have a protection order put in place place her. I understand his personal life isn’t your business anymore but if they are serious and want to have a good future coparenting relationship then them not wanting to meet you seems off to me if they’re is no custody agreement I would Definitely get one put into place and have them meet for coffee in a public space also make it known to her and him that you just want to meet with no drama and you want to have a good coparenting relationship with them both she also could be scared that you’ll be a “crazy baby mama”
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I would want to meet them I want to know if my child is safe, same as if I was to start dating I would expect my ex to want to see who I have round our children, not about anything more could not give two hoots but safety of my child is number 1
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If you don’t think the dad can make good decisions about who is around the kid then maybe he shouldn’t be going over there, or you are over reacting
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Her *Child’s father…Baby daddy🤦♂️
U need to look up her record first of all
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Not her time not her problem. As much as it sucks she doesn’t get a choice
I understand why she’s upset. I’d be pissed too. But nothing she can do unless she’s a danger sadly.
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Legally I don’t think there’s anything that can be done. It’s messed up though. Personally I think it is moms business who the child is around. Especially in cases like this where dads judgement and morals are questionable. If she can find out the girls name she could do a background check. I’d be looking at social media, public records, whatever I could find on the girl just to get an idea of what kind of person she is. Especially if she was being immature about meeting me. She must not have kids herself, otherwise she’d understand why the mom wants to meet her.
My children would NOT be allowed someone I didn’t know. My husband and I split once for about 6 months, and we both started seeing other people, when we thought we wanted them to meet our kids, we told each other & the other met the person, vice versa. It never happened tho, they didn’t meet our children or anything; but we were respectful towards each other.
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I wouldnt let kid around then
If there’s no custody agreement, I would stop all visits. I’d need to know who my child is around.
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So meeting someone one time is going to tell you if its safe for your child?
petty excuse
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At his rate of 19 known side pieces in 5 years…she better get ready to meet a lot of gfs.
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She absolutely has the right to know who is influencing her daughter. She has a right to make sure her child is safe above all else. He lost the right to privacy and trust when he chose to not communicate and cheat. He continues to abuse by hiding who has been around her child. And refuses to have an adult conversation and meet. They absolutely seem like their hiding something. If not their true behavior around her. They should be adults and face the woman they chose to wrong. I believe in her, and her right to keep her child safe.
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You have a right to know who she is
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I use to not care who my kids sperm donor brought around my kids… until my son told me his girlfriend at the time hit and spanked him. Oh you best believe I lost my cool and afterwards I made sure I knew who they were. Ever since then I stood my ground and set rules for him. Now their sperm donor moved and no longer lives in the same state as us. So until her child comes home with new bruises and such then dont worry about it. But if you feel uneasy then I wouldnt let that child go until you met her.
If there is a custody agreement & visitation, there is nothing you can do when its “his time” Go do a background check on person.
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She needs to get a protection order then if they cant be adults
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A lot of exes think they have a “right” to meet new partners
While it’s ideal for coparenting it isn’t a right. If he says no, let it go and focus on coparenting peacefully.
It’s important to remember in these coparenting partnerships both parents have equal “rights” to choose who is around the child. They get to choose their own rules, activities, etc.
The best case for the kid would be both parents working as a team so it’s ridiculous he won’t BUT the court won’t make him.
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Tell her to file for custody and ask a judge to put in the court order that other parent has to meet the other parents new significant other or child won’t be allowed around the new significant other etc
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I’d tell the father until ur friend meets this chick her child won’t be allowed over to his house. She have every right to know who’s around her child while not in her care
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Not overreacting at all. I’d tell hsu ass either u meet her or the kid doesn’t go. U have a right to know who’s taking care of ur child. Just like he would want to meet ur bf or gf whatever u prefer lol.google her name see what comes up. There are too many crazy ass ppl in the world to be ok w it. He sleeps around u know this so there’s no telling who she is. All these ppl saying it’s not ur time blah blah nope that’s not right. Get the courts involved and he has to let y’all meet. Dealt w this before.
I can’t wait for your friend to get her own man and abide by the same rules.
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I feel out of Respect, he should allow it. But, it is his time with the child.
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In my husband’s divorce papers from ex wife it was in the papers that neither parent could have a new bf/gf stay the night when they had the child if the other parent wasn’t okay with it.
So, as far as forcing them to let you meet her I don’t think there’s much you can do. However I’m a firm believer in knowing who my children are around & I would go to court and have some kind of similar something put on paper.
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I understand this and he should respect your feelings, but I dont believe legally he has to let you meet anyone he chooses to have in his life unless it’s written into your agreement.