It’s not up to you to repair it and be careful because they’ll start to resent you if you force it. It’s up to them on what they do.
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They’re adults it’s not for U to fix things it’s between them and their father. Stay out of everything
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Love them. Do not talk crap about him and breathe girl. They will come around when they are ready.
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They are old enough to make there own decisions. Let it be> Onlt time will well!!
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Step back. They need to sort this out themselves. They’re rightfully angry with him and need time.
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They’re adults now. It’s their decision.
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But tell him to keep trying no matter how long their anger lasts
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They are adults. If they know what their dad did then it’s up to them to decide if they want to spend time with them.
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Blees your heart Momma. Talk with them. A good marriage for all those years I’m sure meant a good childhood so maybe they need alittle time but also to know you are okay. They are lucky to still have two loving parents.
They are adults.
He has lost all trust and respect from his daughters and I don’t blame either of them for distancing themselves from him.
You should not interfere with their decisions to avoid their lying, cheating father as they did not interfere with your decision to divorce him for the same.
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They are old enough to decide and also your soon to be ex husband is the one who really messed up . They are old enough to choose also what he did to you is she’s on them it affects them big time . Don’t try and force it if they don’t want a relationship they are old enough to choose .
Also his loss for making that horrible choice . Not your job to repair the damage he has caused and the hurt he has caused .
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My mum was forever saying ‘he’s still your dad’ and telling me what a good man he was… She forgets that I lived with him too. I saw the way he was, he didn’t treat me much better than he did her…
Mum left when I was 18, I left at 21 and I’ve barely spoken to my dad since, mainly because he’s never made the effort for me. In 7 years, he’s called me once - it was because he wanted me to get him something discounted from work… I moved 200 miles away and have invited him to stay during the Christmas period - I’ve had no response.
My poor relationship with him had no chance of repair because of HIM. My mum tried, I tried.
Hopefully your ex will put more effort into his daughters, just be there to support your girls.
You are a very good woman with what you went through alot of us would be glad if the kids ain’t talking to their dad, but you want them to have a relationship ,just give it time if they see that you have accepted and are not angry with their dad eventually they will let go of the anger and forgive
His loss…he done this
I would encourage a relationship but not push. In time I am sure they will come around…
They are adults, honestly I’m on their side with this one. Not only did he lie and deceive you by having an affair, he lied and deceived them also. He made his bed now he has to sleep in it. If it were me and my father did that to my mother and I was the age they are, I would be doing the same thing they are. 24 years of marriage and he doesn’t have the balls to tell you it’s over before he cheats? Scum bag.
No matter what… something’s just needs time. Everyone gets to choose. He made his choice… U made URs… Now its their turn. They choose YOU!!! Aawww! Lucky U!!! U did a good job!!
Is Ex with the other gal? That could build some walls right there. Just stay positive at your end. My Mom broke my Dad’s heart, he was lost. Lived with me for a year and 1/2. I had to teach how to do everything. His life as he knew it was gone. My Mother ended up moving the guy into our home place. Broke the heart of the gal he was with too. I resented Mom but I did love her. They will find a middle ground, but it won’t be the same. Just stay neutral and don’t degrade your ex to them.
You can’t force respect and love. It’s earned and hopefully their father can help them rebuild that. Healing takes time and sometimes you can’t heal until you are heard. 
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Please give them time and space, when they are ready they will talk to their dad n sort things out… amend their relationship. They are old enough to make their own decisions
Coming from experience, respect is something that children struggle with giving once it has been took away from a parent’s choice and actions. It is their relationship and they should be able to have the choice of being interacting or even having anything to do with him. It is their dad. They probably need time to process how they feel about the betrayal.
They are adults now. Sit down with them and talk. If you don’t want them to take sides and they aren’t hurting you, tell them so!
They may feel that caring for him is wronging you. If you love them, tell them. If caring for their father doesn’t hurt you, tell them.
But listen and talk!
They are adults and can make up theirs own minds. Stay out of it. Just support whatever they are feeling.
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That’s his problem not yours. He betrayed them also. He caused a lot of trauma. It’s going to effect their relationships in the future. They don’t owe him anything.
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its good to kno u still think abt ur ex husband but u shud leave da girls to make der own minds dey must b hurt by his break up
You can’t- it’s up to him now…
My son is a lot younger but still remembers what hell my ex put me through. All of the er visits and hospital stays, the police at the home. One day we left without warning taking only my son’s clothing and a few of my scrubs. I’ve been divorced for 5 years now and my son goes every weekend to his paternal grandmothers home for a visit. He always says how much he hates seeing his dad because he is a bad man. My heart breaks for any family that has to go through this.
Try leading by example. If you and your ex are up for it catch up for coffee as friends and make it known that you can still be friends.
These are no longer ’ girls ’ they’re young women now…he might still be their dad but how he treated you was horrendous n so disrespectful can you really blame them 4not wanting anything to do with him…daughters look up to dads as an example of the kind of guy they wanna be with…hes way off the mark to them it’s simple he wronged u bad style n they know he caused all this upheaval in the family they need to process their anger etc…
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Boundaries…they will walk over them if u let them…dont be a doormat or the ’ fixer’…
Father don’t respect their daughter anymore it like tell them that it ok for a man to cheating god bless
Nope. Let it be. What he did to you and them was unspeakable and they have every right to want nothing to do with him.
Give them time and space. It is ultimately their decision. I think it is great that despite what he did, you are still trying to make sure he has a good relationship with his children.
It’s something they will have to work out with there dad.
They are adults now let them decide. Give them time. It s between them and your ex.
Step back and let Go
They are consenting adults… They can make their own choices
how can you expect them to accept him if you did not ?
Somethings cannot be fixed. He has done this not you his problem his responsibility.
just give it time - Ive seen this happen, and it will work it self out
They’re just as hurt as you are. Don’t force it or keep harping on them about it. Be there to support and encourage them and just give them time and space to heal.
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They are adults and can decide when they are ready. Don’t try or force them it won’t work. Just give them time and he has to fix it not you
Let them have their feelings. Give them time. They are hurt beyond all comprehension. As hard as it may be for you, let them know that their father loves them. Be there to hold them on bad days. Just hold them. Dont give advice unless they ask for it. Most importantly love them.
I know how they are feeling. My father ledt my mother after 39 yrs of marriage for another woman. It takes time.
Let the hirls handle this their way. You be there and are support. But this is a dad issue with his girls. It sounds like you raised them right. Yeah. Alot of emotions. But just love them like always. Prayers.
They’re old enough to make their own decision. Keep enforcing the family values as you have eventually they’ll want to make a mend. They’re angry right now and sad. Give them time and keep praying. Together they’re has to be forgiveness to move forward
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It takes time to heal they will come around i will be praying for yall
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They are really old enough to make their own decision. I can see how they would be very disappointed in their dad. Time will heal itself.
At this point I think it’s between them and their Dad.
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It will come In due time… I’m sure they are in shock and working it out in their own hearts n minds , don’t force it …that will just end it for sure ,maybe towards you as well if you try to force it … it hurts I’m sure deeply… hand in there Mama…
They are old enoguh to make up their own minds!
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They have to so it. You can only support their decision
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It will take time, but just let it go, they will repair their relationship with him when they are ready
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You are not the one that has to repair their relationship. He is. They feel betrayed by him not you. He is their father and he needs to be the one to take initiative to repair
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Respect their decisions and let him work on the relationship. As long as you are not negative about him. They too very hurt and betrayed
They are of age, can’t make them do anything really, this is on the Dad and him only
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that would be the dads job to repair there relatoinship…
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Let it go they are old enough to do as they this is between them if there dad.what to have his kids in his life he need to work on it
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you have to wait until they are ready you cannot force them
Don’t do it they are adults they want to talk let them.
Erica Boyd. Good comments
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Was in the same spot when I was 14 with my dad. Ended up with my mom’s best friend of 10 years and I felt the same way. It’ll take time, but they will change their minds eventually. Forcing it does not help. Let him handle it.
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It’s not on you to repair it
You have to let them figure it out themselves they are old enough
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They are angry with him. His actions broke up your family and their stability. They have to work that out with him.
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If their dad wants a relationship with them he has to approach them it’s not your responsibility you’re not married any more it’s on him
You’re a better woman than I’d ever be for being so considerate of their relationship when he had no regard for yours. All I can say is God bless you…you sound like a wonderful woman.
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Who would laugh at this status??? That makes me so mad. Anyways, I hope your daughters heal as well as you. You do have to respect your daughters decision though. They are old enough to see his true colors and hurt about what he did. But if you want to remain neutral for them (as you stated in the status) dont bring him up in a negative way around them or talk on the phone bashing him to friends/ family to where they can hear you. Doing that will only bring a negative reminder for them and will make them stray from him further. Just stay strong and they will guide the way for you with how they want their relationship be with him. Patience is the key.
Unfortunately that has nothing to do with you. Just let them work through their issues with him and make their down decisions
They are adults, you can talk to them and explain that you don’t want to see them not have a relationship with their dad, but ultimately it is there choice. Side note: life is short, my 14 year old niece lost her dad to a heart attack a year ago (he was 49,) the last thing she said to him was not nice, she can never take that back. My granddaughter lost her mom 6 months ago(she was 27,) granddaughter is 10, she had a wonderful relationship with her mom, but again, all she has now are memories. He may live for another 50 years, then again…
Now that the girls are adults, they have to work through their issues with their dad in their own way. Be there to listen but if you try to push, they may back away from you as well.
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Oh my goodness, I want to first applaud you for your maturity and class. You seem to be a wonderful mom and ex -wife. It’s unfortunate, that things ended as they did but your daughter’s are angry and disappointed in their dad. He has to mend the relationships. There’s nothing that you can do. He may want to begin by apologizing to them. That’s always a great start. He then may have to give them some space. They are actually grieving the loss of the family structure, and the relationships within the family. They have to find it in themselves to forgive him and then move forward from there.
They’re probably upset at the fact that he had an affair and hurt you!! Maybe and hopefully they can see past the anger and forgive him so they can have a relationship with him again. Give it time.
It not up to you to worry about thier relationships with thier dad. That’s up to him. They feel he destroyed the family and he did and It will take time to forgive him. And that’s up to them to . But if you get involved it might make the angry with you .
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He has to mend that fence. He messed up what they thought was a great life. Regardless of them not wanting to talk he will have to just keep reaching out and show he’s trying. It seems fairly new so time is needed to process it all. Plus they are older so not much you can really do.
If he is remorseful and willing you should encourage therapy for them all. They are hurt bc he divided the family and that’s his burden to bear all you can do is be there for them, and try to heal yourself as well.
I’d probably remind them that the cheating had nothing to do with them. It was a horrible decision and a huge, hurtful mistake…but, it doesn’t mean he doesn t love them. Then, let them try to repair the relationship and back off. It’s on him to fix it if he can. Also, a good teaching moment about their being consequences to your actions💁
They’ll have to work that out on your own. Now that you’re single live your life. They’ll be okay. As I get older they will realize they still need their dad
He has to repair those relationships. Not you.
He not Only betrayed you, but them as well.
This is his duty.
All you can do is let time take it’s course.
Ultimately it’s up to them.
And him to make it right.
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Dad has to mend those fences with his daughters. His responsibility.
It’s their decision. Not yours. If you pry you will make things worse. Leave it be and it may all work out eventually.
It’s his problem to fix. Not yours he is the one that caused issue. I’m dealing with this now. But we are still married. My daughter is 13 and doesn’t have a good relationship with her dad. I told the truth so it’s my fault to a degree.
Its not your decision or place to change their mind. They are adults and can decide for themselves.
You can’t do anything about it. They’re old enough. And i get it, they’re dad has hurt they’re mum.
All they need is to know you are supporting them. Their father needs to repair this on his own if he wants a relationship with them. Just don’t trash talk him( not that you are) and let the relationship go where it will go.
They are GROWN…It’s between them and their Dad. I have 2 that’s 24 and 21 they don’t want NOTHING to do with their Dad either. I don’t force them DAD Should continue to REACH OUT UNTIL THEY ARE WILLING TO FORGIVE HIM.
Going through the same thing . But my kids are 17 and almost 14 they don’t want to see there dad but they are forced to by there dad and if they don’t want to go he threatens them.
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Him having an affair…is as if he has directly lied to them as well…they feel betrayed by his actions…kept secrets from them,and dishonored your family…its not for you to fix…but maybe…have your husband/ex-husband still do odd jobs/fix things around the house…as a man/father should…HE needs to show them he’s still their father…and you,as their mother
Show them as a mother…its ok to be disappointed…but you2…as the parents can get pass that…just because he made a HUGE mistake…and broke their trust…doesnt mean it has to stay that way…just because ya’ll arent together…doesnt mean he cant be their father still…he needs to still do his ‘share’ as a father…they will come around in their own time…you cant force it…but you can slowly reintroduce him back into yours’ life one step at a time.
Forgiveness is easy…forgetting the pain they endured, watching you two,fall apart…isnt easy to forget.
He may just have to live with the fact that his daughters think he’s an A-hole.
Not your problem
It’s his…he has to fix it…
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Nothing u can do but let them work it out
Unfortunately, this is a problem your ex needs to solve, not you.
He created the divide, only he can fix it.
She is 18 shes pissed at him mb in time it will change