He usually either snaps at me and rips me to shreds, leaving me feeling horrible. Then he’s nice again. Or I walk on egg shells hoping he’ll get over it. Because I can’t handle another personal attack. But this time I couldn’t handle going through that again after 3 days of tip toeing around. So I packed up the kids and went to my parents. For so long, I’ve been so unhappy. But now I’ve got a chance to change everything. I don’t know that I can! Like leaving our family home empty, or him and them not seeing each other everyday, or my kids having to start at a new school. It’s so much easier, in a daydream then in reality.
370 Likes
All of that is understandable but think about this …you are teaching your children how to allow people to treat them. Kids are resilient you can allow him open access to them and chances are u will be awarded family home in court. Stay strong life is way too short for abuse
19 Likes
It will get better, you deserve to live in a happy thriving environment, as do your kids! The abuse tells you all kinds of things to make you second guess your choice, but stand firm in the idea of peace! I promise it gets better!
6 Likes
It will be extremely hard before it gets easier. Stay strong. You deserve better!
5 Likes
Congratulations 
Youve taken the biggest step . Its not easy but youve proved you’re strong enough . You and your children will be so much happier and if hes a good father there’s no reason he cant still see his children…but you must make sure its on your terms and not his.
Youre children have seen you take action and thats a good thing. Yes you may struggle to begin with but youve taught your children that this type of behaviour is unacceptable in a relationship . Youve done them a great service.
I’m glad you had someone to turn to. That makes all the difference while you start getting everything sorted out and believe me you will…and you’ll get stronger every day.
5 Likes
It’s definitely a challenge at first but give it about 2 months and get settled everything will workout and it will be so worth it.
2 Likes
This is a great step you should proud of yourself
1 Like
Why do women think its ok to take the kids away from their father unless they are infant or he’s abusive to them to . I don’t get it
4 Likes
Good job mama, remember Happy mom, Happy Babies.
Take care of yourself so you can care for your babies.
1 Like
It will get better and you will get stronger! Your kids need a happy mother!
1 Like
Sounds like you should leave lol
1 Like
You did the right thing. He is controlling you. The silent treatment makes you deal with what he does to you on your own without ever being able to talk to him or solving the issue. It’s going to be difficult for awhile. Most of your sadness is what you hoped would be. You don’t miss the reality of what was. Your kids will adapt to the new school. They can visit old friends. They won’t recover from years of mental torment as easily. Find a counselor for all of you. They can help you cope with the changes & abuse you suffered.
6 Likes
Don’t go back it will be worse than before, I waited thinking I needed to keep my family whole and together and put up with it, many years later down the road I find out my kids were getting the same abuse behind my back and they tell me they wish I would have left sooner, they are adults now except a 16yr old. The treatment will not change it only gets worse over the years. Stay away now that you have the chance and get some good counselling to help you heal.
6 Likes
Once you get past the struggle and the pain you’ll look back and won’t believe how much happier you are and why you didn’t do it sooner. No one should have to live in misery so take this opportunity for happiness and run with it 
1 Like
Don’t punish yourself for leaving a home that you were pushed out of.
8 Likes
You and your husband are having relationship problems and you take your children away? WHAT? Have you thought of getting a relationship counselor first???
11 Likes
What you’re doing, is the best course of action. You are married to a narcissist. Things will NEVER improve. He is who he is. Removing yourself and your children from that toxic environment is the best thing you can do for yourself and them. It’s going to be a change and it’s going to take time. Coming from someone who finally escaped a narcissist, I can’t even explain how happy myself and my kids are now. Stay strong and stand your ground! Whatever you do, don’t let him guilt you into coming back, because he will try. He will try to guilt you, beg you, threaten you… but I PROMISE that if you go back, it will be the same as it has been!
8 Likes
It’ll be hard at first, once everything is settled in, and the kids start new schools, it’ll be easier. OR can the kids kept husbands address and continue in that school? Don’t stay for just the kids. Staying together in an unhealthy relationship, is not healthy for the kids either.
2 Likes
Hey- I did it. I took the kids and moved 5 states away to where my family was. You can get away. And the kids will be happier. And changing schools isn’t that big of a deal
8 Likes
Well he’s not my husband he’s my boyfriend but I’m thinking about leaving too the narcissism and emotional abuse after already going through it in a previous relationship that I was married in I can’t deal with it again so I completely understand where you’re coming from and it’s all I can say is we just got to be strong and do what’s best for our babies
4 Likes
Congratulations you did the right thing it may not feel like it right now but believe it you will give it time. No one deserves to be treated like that your children can see it and they know something is going on they deserve a better life . It will be a little hard in the beginning but the rewards is so much better in the end you will be much happier and so will your children. You will get stronger don’t back down and don’t fall for his lies he will not change they say a leopard cat don’t change his spot neither does a manipulator or liar. This is your moment for a new beginning a new life enjoy it a new breath of Life for you and your children . Take action if your family is willing to help out let them also surround yourself with friends and get supportive help . Good luck
4 Likes
One of the worst things in life is regret, looking at decisions and knowing you should have done it years earlier, the question is will his behavior change or continue ?
2 Likes
Great now start getting yourself healthy so you can be happy for yourself and your kids it seems rough now but it’ll get better trust me you’re a rockstar mama don’t ever forget it.
5 Likes
You’ve already made the first step. Why back track? You’ve been gone 3 days. The world hasn’t ended. Time will go on. Just keep on your path. It sounds like you have a support system with your parents. Don’t go back!
7 Likes
Believe me when I say, that emotional abuse will… ALWAYS WILL impact you and you will carry those survival traits with you into other relationships, the longer you stay, the more damage will be done. Your children need a happy mama. Not a mama who’s just trying to get through every day without a fight.
They never change. It only gets worse.
7 Likes
I tried to keep my family together after everything my ex had done and at a certain point you don’t see urself anymore. And once that happens how are you supposed to be yourself for ur kids? Thata when I decided it was done. I needed and my kids needed me to be me again
4 Likes
If you want your daughter growing up thinking that type of love is ok, then stay.
1 Like
If you stay in that situation it can be toxic to your children they need a healthy environment your making the best move not only for yourself but for you babies trust me when I say this they will thank you one day best of luck to you
2 Likes
The silent treatment is a tool of narcissistic abuse. It’s not okay. It’s a form of emotional punishment.
1 Like
Honestly I think you did the right thing for your children and you. They catch onto those toxic traits and pass it on. And there’s nothing in this world better than being able to breath and be you!! Leave him. You do not deserve that abuse and stress.
4 Likes
Push through. It’s hard and scary today but it’s easier than it feels. You can do this.
This was me hun it’s hard but u can u can do it . Bad thing I still live with the a hole because of financial reasons but if u have out then go he isn’t going to change my x did the same thing I was constantly walking on egg shells not to set him off n if something did I got verbal lashing n name calling. Ur kids will adjust to a new school it’s been 6 months for me and I’m feeling better about my self I keep to myself and do my thang my daughter and I are fine n honestly he hasn’t said much to me since no lashing out at me it’s weird but I promise ull be ok
2 Likes
good luck say a lot of prayers that’s what got me threw
You just described the “cycle of violence”. I’m so glad you got out! It moves from verbal to physical more often than not. It starts with the attack, the apology and long periods of the honeymoon phase and when you’re deep in it the honeymoon phase is shorter and the actual “abuse” period comes a lot faster. This will be better for your kids too to see you flourish
So it’s yours’ and your kids mental health and safety or spending your life ruining yourself and your kids to pacify a narcissist jerk who can’t communicate like an adult.
No mother should be congratulated for destroying her children’s lives.
4 Likes
I loved it when my estranged husband didn’t talk to me … The silence was golden - enjoy it. Well done. That walk out the door is the hardest thing and you have done it! Just keep going - you have got this
6 Likes
Children having 2 happy parents apart is better than having 2 miserable parents together.
2 Likes
I stayed for far too long. The emotional abuse became physical and my kids began to feel the effects. I left as a stay at home mom with no income in fear of my life, and. as hard as it was on me (finally and dealing with the trauma bond I was breaking), my kids could breathe again. Their smiles, laughter and comfort was worth every obsticle.
You deserve to be happy♡
3 Likes
You will feel lonely and helpless at first but after you get past the hard part, you will feel so happy and free!!
You have to stay strong and not go back regardless of how much he says he will change.
Good luck and it’s time to enjoy yourself and your babies
You can do this. You are strong. Your babies need a happy mama
Kids see and hear everything. Its time to start teaching them what healthy happy relationships look like. Otherwise when they grow up they will either treat people the way your being treated or accept being treated that way thinking its how people love each other.
Change is hard no matter what it doesn’t matter if your single/married with kids/ without kids. It hard. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.
10 Likes
The big thing you have to remember is that you are teaching your children how people should be dealt with is this what you want your children to see
2 Likes
So, you plan to stay in a dysfunctional, emotionally abusive, verbally abusive relationship ~ that your children are seeing, for what, exactly??
They’ll learn how to Relationship from you and their dad. Is this what you want for them?
Honey, stop caring about things he obviously doesn’t care about.
If your daughter came to you with this situation, would you tell her to go back? If no, why should you?
5 Likes
No child should have to see that kind of behavior so please for your children’s sake do not go back this guy will never change 
this is a very hard situation to be in and I’m so sorry but you need to try to be strong because you and your kids deserve better!
I went though thud but my situation was cdv . The reason I stayed was bc if the kid worried ab changes bc I had to go to another state bc that’s where my family was. Eventually he tried to kill me I left. They did have an adjustment period but I saw things that the kids were doing that he had done. Spitting, hitting, cussing 5 yr old. So I saw the damage it was doing to him while staying. I moved on left and haven’t seen or heard from him in ten yrs. He was diagnosed schizophrenic and bipolar he died in August autopsy didn’t find a reason for it. When I spoke w the family they told me I did the right thing and they wanted me to know they helped keep him away to protect us. I wondered for years if I made the right decision. Hearing his own parents tell me I did the right thing was very comforting.
Hardest best thing I ever did was leave this same life to find a much better one.
1 Like
You can do it!!! You’re kids mental health is paramount right now so just explain to them and all of you start moving forward! You’ll all be better off
Change is hard, no matter if it’s for the better or not. Your heart is SCREAMING this isn’t a good situation for you or your children, which is why you left. It may be hard, but I guarantee it will be worth it. Do you want q daughter thinking this is how she should be treated? Or a son to think this is how you treat your SO. They will be watching and learning. Snd they will realise in time as they get older how strong their mother was for changing everything she knew to make a better life for herself and her kids. You got this! Take it day by day, hour by hour if you need to.
How about you kick that abusive baby out of your house and don’t uproot your kids and change their schools. Why does the problem get to stay in the house?
1 Like
You got this. Move on for the sake of yourself and your children.
Cut toxic out of your life.
3 Likes
He’s abusing you. Your children are better off away from that toxic environment. You are better off. You just taught your children strength and that it’s good to stand up for yourself. Everyone is better off now. It will be hard, but it will be worth it.
1 Like
Those are excuses you are making to go back because you still love him. Do not continue to put you and your kids in that type of environment. Stay strong
1 Like
First off, so proud of you for leaving. That’s the hardest part. Now dump the negative words, like, “I don’t know if I can…” You can and you’ll be so much happier. He is toxic, and sounds a brat. brat.
3 Likes
What he does to you is what he does to them. That should answer your question.
1 Like
Those are typical narcissists traits. It’s good you left. Stay strong. You can do this.
4 Likes
Do you want your kids to treat their spouse that way? It is being taught to them that is how you treat people. Stay away from him especially for your kids sake. Remember you are the example
7 Likes
I’ve been there. Do what you know needs to be done. It won’t get easier.
2 Likes
It’ll be hard at first but loafer some time, you will be so glad you did
3 Likes
Get the hell away from him!!!
The longer you maintain this distance and boundaries the easier it is and the more clearly you’re going to see things. This is a wonderful positive change. Leaving abusive relationships is almost comparable to quitting an addiction. It’s unfortunately tempting to go back to what was hurting you, and you’ll try to justify it in many ways, but please don’t. It was killing you slowly. Stealing your joy. Traumatizing you and your children. You and them deserve better. Things will be different, but in such a better way. Each day away gets easier. Each year away reminds you how much better this new life is. Give yourself a fair opportunity to heal and you will be thankful you did.
I’m 8 years into my new life, and my only regret was not leaving sooner. You can do this 
17 Likes
Been there after I left I still worked a full time job and went to school while raising 2 littles. It’s difficult but doable it because a better life for me and my kids I was able to finish my degree get a good job and buy my first house. Hang in there mama the best is yet to come
6 Likes
Stay give you can do it he sounds like a narcissist and your better off
That pretty much sums up the behavior my husband was exhibiting before it was discovered he was a diabetic. Apparently his moods and behavior were directly related to the state of his blood sugar. After his diagnosis and treatment started the irrational behavior went away. You might want to find out if he has a medical problem.
2 Likes
It’s sooo hard. I left my druggie abusive husband and stayed at the woman’s shelter with my 2 yr old son. It was sooo tough. But, I got my sanity back. Hang in there. It will get easier.
1 Like
Leave the Asshole You and your kids deserve happiness !
Men like this never change and don’t deserve a wife or children. Stay away from him. It isn’t worth it. Your head will clear after about a year
5 Likes
It gets better it takes months but those feelings go up and down then they sort of evaporate all together. Seeing him might be a trigger to you, so try to go NO contact if he visits or has the kids a few days you need a go between person his family or yours? A friend?.. something like that. You may also start feeling anger and rage towards him for the way he treated you and that’s normal I suggest a support group for women in your same situation. They really do help. Also at least you got parents 🤷 to stay with take the chance and don’t go back. Many of us end up at women’s havens and trust you don’t want to be there.
I will never understand why some women think living in a toxic/abusive relationship is better than being single. How do you think the kids feel when he’s ripping you to shreds? Some women are stuck in situations like this, if you have the chance to change everything, do it. 
4 Likes
I’m glad you left 
the beginning is absolutely the worst, but it gets better. You can do it
2 Likes
It might not seem easy but trust me it’s not as hard as it seems it does suck and maybe a struggle for awhile but it’ll be worth it for everyone’s happiness, happy parents =happy kids just got to do what’s best for all and that isn’t always staying together
1 Like
Do it in a safe way. Protect ur children and u they are so.innocent
.iv been there …
I cant tell you what to do. But I can say your children cant grownup thinking this behaviour is ok. Yes you can talk to them …But they know by example and what they see. Good luck to you. Be strong for you and your children.
4 Likes
Baby steps, everything will get better!!
1 Like
It’ll get better and then you’ll look back and wonder why you were scared and why you waited so long.
It’s abuse and being free from living that is exactly what you and the kids deserve! Living that way for kids and yourself can lead to mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Teach the kids that this behavior in a relationship wrong. You got this!!
Get counseling and stay away. Thats sever emotional abuse and keeping the kids in dysfunction will ruin them and you.
Stay strong…it will be hard but you can do it!
You got this. It may be scary at first and you may even be tempted to go back, but remember having your children see you being abused is not ok. Get a parenting plan in place so your husband can still see the kids and go after him for child support. Eventually it will get easier and you and the kids will enjoy the freedom.
So what exactly, is the question?
If you return
You are as guilty as he is
In destroying your kids life’s
You two are adults
You chose to have children
Do not punish your innocent children
With the problems you two created.
Think of them. And get a life
6 Likes
You are always stronger than you think. And there are tons of help/ programs out there in the community for single parents. This is a huge reason why people always go back to their abusers but you need to remember why you are leaving in the first place. Kids are resilient and will be fine switching schools. When you go to enroll them have someone take you on a quick tour with the kids so they are more comfortable their first day there
5 Likes
You have taken the first step. It will be hard on your own with the children, but you will be better off without him. Please don’t go back, you will regret it.
7 Likes
Oh and make sure you file for full custody as well. Show/ collect pictures texts etc of the abuse ASAP so he doesn’t try hurt you more by taking them from you or pushing charges for kidnapping
3 Likes
If your unhappy so are your kids do the change for them
3 Likes
What are you teaching your kids? That’s it’s alright to be treated that way. They will learn this behavior and pass it on.
2 Likes
My ex-husband was the definition of a narcissist and physically and emotionally abusive. This type of behavior with the silent treatment was his MO. It was either that or a full on explosion. I can tell you right now, it may look impossible for you now but you will put your life together on the other side and it will be beautiful and peaceful. The kids will be better off not having to witness the tension either. I was always so on edge because of him. I am still learning to cope with the stress of being a single mom but overall it was the best decision I have ever made for them and I. And now I am in a healthy and supportive relationship and my kids get to see what that is like.
1 Like
You’re married to someone who is abusing you. Do you want your kids to learn that behaviour is acceptable? Kick him out of the house if you can.
3 Likes
Good job getting yourself and those kids to safety. That’s the first step
1 Like
Grow up! Your kids will adjust, it will be easier than being raised in a toxic relationship, it affects them too…get him out …keep the house, file for child support, and divorce!!!
7 Likes
You shouldn’t be so harsh and say grow up. She’s been emotionally abused. That kind of talk will only bring her down. She needs to be encouraged, not scolded.
11 Likes
I think you can feel the relief setting in mama - breathe the relief in and anxiety out - it is hard to do it on your own, but its so worth it when you feel the happiness you deserve
Ive been a single mom since i was 19, and the trials and tribulation I’ve faced have been nothing but Phenomenol.
I try to remember in the hardest times, my higher power wont place cards in my deck that I cant win with. Sometimes we get crappy hands, but its how we play the cards That will always lead us into triumph for ourselves and our lives.
Show yourself and your kids just how strong you really are - you’ll pleasantly surprise yourself
4 Likes
You and your husband aside do you want your children to learn to treat people/ significant others the way your husband treats you?
Because staying will do just that .
Trust me I know it isn’t easy but sometimes the right thing is literally the hardest
5 Likes
It is so much better in real life to leave, You did the right thing for both you & your kids, No parents should want their kids to see this, If a woman wants to be treated like shit, that is on her, but when kids are involved, things should change. Now get a lawyer & file for custody & child support, Youa re VERY luck you have great parents that you can turn to for help & a place to live
Most important is “you do you” you deserve to be happy and your children do too
He will not change if you go back
3 Likes
Do not return, he is “gaslighting” you. He has to be in total control. You have a chance to live a good life & your children also. Take back your life & good luck. X
5 Likes
It sounds like a narcissist…he devales you to shreds , it’s a never ending cycle . They live bomb you , love you hate you …in reality they don’t even love them themselves…run run …you will be damaged if you stay …seek help with a life coach professional…goggle it …you need support from real people…it’s very toxic…it’s gonna affect you forever …right now you’re bring Trama Bond…very dangerous…please consult
3 Likes
Sounds bipolar. It will only worsen over time. Do what needs to be done for your children. Everything will be ok. You got this!
2 Likes
As a product of a broken home with a mother who stayed too long “because of the kids”, and… and… and… please just leave. If he can’t articulate his feelings in an adult manner, and come to some sort of a conclusion that works for you both, your marriage, and your family, then for the love and wellbeing of your children, RUN. There is nothing that I would ever do to subject young mind to that kind of toxic behavior. I’d rather live in a box under a bridge, than put my baby through that kind of emotional hell. It’s not worth it. It will be difficult, and hard, and painful, but so worth it. Hugs mama! Do what’s best for you and your babies and don’t look back. You deserve so much more and so do they!
12 Likes