My husband acts weird when he comes home from work: Advice?

You already know he’s cheating. So now make arrangements to move on. I hope you were smart enough to put some money aside for an emergency? Start putting stuff in your name. If your buying stay in your home and kick him out. File for a divorce since he’s the bread winner get him for child support and alimony. Be strong. If your renting start talking to family and ask for help but file dont wait to long. If you have access to phone bill look and see who he’s been texting.

1 Like

Simply ask for his phone. If he denies then you know he is up to no good. Sorry your going through this but your gut is usually correct.

1 Like

Get to the bottom of it. I went through this. It killed me thinking about it. I confronted my man. He wasnt cheating just some innocent texting with a girl. Pissed me the hell off and i made that very clear! Girl get to the bottom if it before it eats you up!

It appears that he is cheating. Leave, and file for child support! Don’t stay with him just because he’s the breadwinner! I wasted 15 yrs., because I was afraid that I couldn’t make it on my own!

Trust your gut. I had a feeling my bf at the time was cheating, found out later it was true.

2 Likes

Follow your gut. Even ours tells us he’s cheating

2 Likes

Your right, I would think he is cheating too

4 Likes

Get a PI. You can live comfortably on his money when you prove he is committing adultery.

5 Likes

dont jump to conclusions, maybe hes going through depression or something, not everything equals cheating. id talk to him first and then go from there

2 Likes

Hes messing around…
No doubt about it…

1 Like

Well before you start digging come up with a plan, what will you do if he is? Personally I don’t think I would want to know if I wasn’t planning on taking action. What type of man is he? Would he support you if you found or and separated or would he let you and the kids go without.
Always dig before confronting. Look through bank statements, larger than normal purchases, money being taken out, restaurants, hotels things like that. Get access to his email and then you can also have access to his Google maps as long as he’s location is on it should track it. You might have to activate it on his phone first you can simply do that by coming up with a reason to use his phone give one of the kids yours and say you need to look up how far away is places that way when you’re inside the maps he won’t think that you’re doing something odd.
Plot plot plot, arrange the situation so no matter which way it falls it’s in your best interest. Also find out what the laws are in your state about bank ac,counts, in Illinois it’s first come first serve, and there’s nothing people can do about it. if there’s a risk of you guys separating and you think he would take all the money out of the account you want to make sure that you’re the first to do it.
Don’t Rock the boat until you have a game plan.
Unfortunately I’ve seen a lot all relationships go sour and go very wrong for the person trying to do the right thing.

3 Likes

Come to terms with him cheating. Save money, save money, save money. Talk to a reliable family member about maybe needing somewhere to stay. Start liquidating clutter in the home for when you leave. I would say try grabbing his phone but I dont know this man and how he will react. Loving husbands dont act this way.

3 Likes

He’s with someone else hun, ask him why he’s making you feel this way ur guts telling u because it knows xx

Follow your gut and start putting cash aside and leave,life will be so much better for yoy

3 Likes

Trust is gone so you already have a problem. I would pull the phone records and see who he is talking too. He would tell me where he goes or would not come back. That is common sense on any married persons part to know where ther other is.

Talk to your husband. It takes 2 to talk and and resolve concens!

2 Likes

Definitely cheating!!!

1 Like

Oh he is definitely 100% cheating. Time to consult a divore attorney.

Just by what you say about him, makeS it obvious he’s cheating on you, though a part of you already knew this, I get what your saying, know you depend on him, as he’s the bread winner right now, I hope your able to find a good job, and able to support you n your child, usually if they cheat once, they usually continue to so, alot of women on this page, have gone what through cheating spouse, I was one of them, alot of men don’t realize what they have at home, until she’s gone, pray you find the strength in you, if you decide to stay with him, to endure more pain, when you’ve had enough you will know, as I did, stay strong!

Trust your gut. Plan Confront. Work. Everything will be fine, no matter what. Remember your kid comes first. Life’s a crazy journey. Best wishes. :heart:

1 Like

You have your answer. You don’t need us. Just need to believe yourself.

1 Like

I’d wait til he’s sleeping & look through it :tipping_hand_woman:t2: Make sure you have an emergency stash savings & don’t let him do that to you.

1 Like

I’m not going to speculate on what he may it may not be doing (cause friend we could be here all day). First things first, address your feelings on his behavior with his phone, tell him you’ve been uncomfortable with his time away and not responding to you. Then go from there. Ask to see his phone if you wish.

1 Like

I went through something similar with my ex husband, turns out he was cheating and on drugs.

He is cheating it sounds like honey maybe get a hold of his pass words and get a spy and get a gps on his phone or even forward his text messages

Let your phone die and then say “hey can I use your phone to get a recipe for dinner?” Then pretend to be using the instructions while cooking and actually snoop. If he acts weird then you know.

1 Like

If you share a phone plan. Look on your bill.

But. You need a plan b & c if you do find anything.

You can’t confront him and have him give you a 30 day notice. Hopefully your on the lease?

I hope your wrong. Maybe a drinking or drug issue?

Thats first sign he is either sneaking around and talking to someone have had this happen to me before gotten in phone and found he was talking to 2 other women so do the beat thing and start planning to get yourself out

You probably already know the answer to this. Start saving - do what ya gota do to support you and kids. Be prepared for the worst.Good luck.

If you’re asking, you already know your answer. I was in that club.

4 Likes

We would have a talk for sure. If I dont hear what I want ima yank that phone straight outta his hand. I dont give a RIP if he is the provider(that’s his place), you dont have to put up with this mess. You can always get a job and support yourself. We don’t play games and cheating is a deal breaker! Sorry you are dealing with this! Good luck!

Talk to him he dont wanna talk look threw his shit.

Pull the “ hey can I grab your phone for a second mine is upstairs I need to look something up”

Don’t ever give up the financial power of being able to provide for yourself. And you already know what you need to do if your sharing this on the internet to a group of strangers. As a mother your #1 priority is to protect your kids and yourself even if Dad doesn’t…

Girl find somewhere for you to stay and confront him if he’s got nothing to hide he wouldn’t be acting like that, you can’t stay in a relationship with no trust or respect.

1 Like

cheating 100 percent or planing something

1 Like

Those are all warning signs for cheating but it sounds like you don’t really want to know whether or not he’s cheating because you depend on his Income. If you did want to know if you would have already talked to him about it and ask him to see phone emails and social media. Get a job and start working save your own money to have your own place and a way to support your child in case he is. Cheating if you’re not going to leave continue to live in ignorance

Get a job. Go get a degree…anything, but unless you have a newborn, get a job. Theres daycares on every corner, and state aid. Walmart pays 12.00 per hour.

First off communication; this is a big factor. Talk to him. If he is infact cheating then do not be scared to leave. Yes it will hurt, and its scary but time will heal and you will regain your independence and love yourself more for it.

This is precisely why I dont rely on a man. Apply for the single mum benefit, if you can stay at a friends for the time being then do so. Centrelink can help with bond, you will need to find work but they also help with daycare cost fees. This is what I had done. I’m a working, independent mother and i have done it on my own, and still doing it. I had nothing from the beginning now we are living well.

It is all acheivable. You got this. :heart:

1 Like

Act like you want to have some off the wall sex, tie him down where he can’t move,stick a giant wax strip on his balls,sit on his chest with his phone, tell him he has 2 choices

  1. give the password
  2. get the wax strip pulled

Either way he’s setting himself up for pain bc if he doesn’t give it to you then you get to pull the strip,pack your shit and leave him there still tied up or
You find something on the phone and your anger helps you pull the strip,pack your shit and leave.
If you find nothing then you ride him until morning,the sweat helps the wax unstick and come off and he will never mess with you bc he will see exactly how crazy you are.
You’re welcome :kiss:

So with him being your husband, you can leave and use his income to support yourself. You can get alimony becuase of infidelity and child support based on his income. Hes definitely cheating. There is no doubt in my mind. Start making a plan to leave and get yourself tested. As soon as he gets even a little defensive you know your answer. Or…go cheat yourself lol

Simple ask him! But thats all the same signs I dealt with with my ex husband! He was cheating and getting high!

Uh your gut can b right or wrong, he might have another girl, or a drug issue, or it could b gambling, ya never know. Have it checked out, put a gps chip on his ass. Easy to buy, they sell for tracking children. Obviously discreet. Size of a dime max

You already know there is something going on. My ex would text her and her him sitting right next to me , or walk way out in the yard to talk to her on the phone. He was talking to her on messenger and blocked me on fb. We had been married 20 years, when we divorced.

1 Like

Sounds like he is cheating . His behaviors are not normal at all ! You need to prepare yourself for being a single mom by getting your Education . It’s pure misery staying with a cheater . You don’t deserve it . My sister was my own PI :female_detective: and found out where my husband was at and who with . Once I caught him with the woman , it broke my heart as well as my kids . But I refused to live with a cheater . Take care of you and I wish you much luck .

1 Like

So when he’s gone filed for divorce ask for alimony child support have his ass served on the boat. Bottom line is do what you got to do those kids depend on you you are the keeper of that castle

Get a job. Stash the cash. Be ready when he drops the bomb!

Go with your gut, and get a job start saving up

Go with your instincts.

1 Like

Red flag :triangular_flag_on_post: check his phone when he goes to sleep

1 Like

He’s cheating! You already know that, get yourself prepared, get education. Get tested!

2 Likes

You can’t shake the feeling because you KNOW he’s cheating. If at all possible maybe you should get a job so you can support yourself and your child if you decide to leave. You could also try to speak with an attorney about your options. If you decide to divorce him you can get child support to help care for your child and possibly alimony.:woman_shrugging:t4:

4 Likes

Can you check his phone when he’s asleep?

1 Like

You know he’s doing something he doesnt want you to know about.
Dont confront him until you have a plan B. Get a job and then throw his ass out! Why should you leave?
And NEVER rely on a man ever again. You just learned why.

Get a job. Secure yourself.

Yep as others said get a job , security for you and your baby , leave him when your ready

2 Likes

Sue his side bitch for wrecking your marriage because he is DEFINITELY cheating. He’s barely hiding it at this point. I’m so sorry. However you should leave, it’ll be hell From here on out if you can don’t.

Have you confronted him ?

1 Like

Ask him , he will tell you. If he is cheating get a lawyer get really serious fast. Get a job and save as much as possible.
Go on with you and your child’s lives.

When he’s not in the house you need to check credit card bills bank statements you need to collect evidence so you know your finances and if you have cell phones I believe you can go online and if you know his passwords to his phone get a record of all text messages in other words it’s time to become a detective look for any unusual things that he may have hidden and dresser drawers boxes and closets or things in the garage or basement and if you share a car when you go to the grocery store course most men don’t like to go you inspect the car thoroughly because you need to be ready just in case

2 Likes

She’s a stay at home mom… he will be required to keep her in the manner in which she’s become accustomed… so, alimony, family maintenance, and child support. And you best believe the judge would order that, and provide insurance, for at least 5 years depending on how long they were married, and half of any marital assets, etc.

Cheating is a total dick move!!

1 Like

Just… Talk to him.

You’re married. You shouldn’t keep things from each other and you shouldn’t feel like you can’t ask him things or talk to him, even if it’s difficult. And from there either he will be honest and tell you, or you’ll be able to notice more lies and deception in how he answers you.

Assuming is only going to hurt both of you, though. Talk to him, and try to find proof as well if he doesn’t “come clean”. He might not be cheating… It could be many other things. Depression, a hormone imbalance that would cause symptoms like depression, anxiety about something… Maybe he’s even just talking to a friend or coworker about things he doesn’t want to worry you with. He should be able to talk to you but sometimes we go to others to not bog down our partner.

There are a bunch of reasons he could be acting this way… Trust him, as you should do with your partner, and try to work it out with him.

Probably True, talk to him and leave if that’s the case.

Sounds like you are right

He’s cheating, time to stand on your own two feet and go make yourself happy

ALWAYS LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. As scary and painful as it may be confront him and tell him you think he has been acting strange and you’re worried about him.

Communicate your worries i get that way when my hormones go cray that time of month and i always just ask. Both of us will gladly hand over our phones at any given moment mine has a pattern lock because my kids will steal it to try to get on youtube lol but he knows my pattern. Communication is so important.

He’s either cheating or planning an epic suprise but if your birthday ain’t coming up soon probably cheating. Don’t let him know you figured it out. Start getting as much money saved, try to see if you can get a hold of his phone records you’ll be able to see who he’s texting or calling. If you could get a hold of his phone, turn on the Google GPS and yyp be able to see where he’s going. Or maybe follow him one day but borrow someone else’s car or hire a PI. You’d want proof that he’s cheating so that you’re awarded full custody and full child support and alimony. Once you have the 100% pack all his things and kick him out, change the locks, and file for divorce and ask for full custody.

Really?? What you wrote you need to reread …and your answers are right there

2 Likes

Go with your gut!!! He’s cheating how long you been together?

How long has this been happening? Have u talked to him about it? If not…then it’s time to open your mouth about it. Dont be a little lamb either…find the lion inside and be super straight up. If I ask to see the phone, he should have nothing to hide right?
Until you ask, you wont know. The way he responds will tell you everything.

Trust ur gut i did and i was right… Ur gut doesnt lie

Confront him have a game plan single mom do amazing things

Could he be a gambling addict perhaps and trying to hide his bets. Whichever way, it needs to be addressed. So talk to each other and not let your suspicions fester. It’ll only cause more heartache in the long run.

Yes, love he is cheating. Does your state have help programs for single moms ? Or free legal help ? Some child support would be helpful. Sorry my dear, tough situation.

Trust your gut. Confront him but if your gut tells you hes cheating unfortunately your gut isn’t lying :frowning: make an exit plan. Stash money.

ALWAYS trust your gut instinct especially if he’s acting shady or different than he usually does. Definitely try to communicate with him without “accusing” him & definitely get a job so if you decide to leave you have a way to support your family. We as women should never “Depend” solely on a man to provide for us. Good luck I’ll definitely be praying your instincts are wrong

31 Likes

Get yourself a job first of all save some money up for what could come. Become independent,then talk to him ask him to be honest with you. Here’s a little saying I’ve always lived by. You’re never stuck inn any situation,no matter what it is. A job,a relationship ect. You are the only one who can get yourself out. So get a job and save some money because you never know when you are going to need it.

6 Likes

In my opinion, start your plan of what or how you will live without him. Chances are once you confront him he will bolt out the door or lie and things will stay as they are. I speak because I lived it and trust me it took me months closer to a year but when I left I had already rented a place for myself and my child. He may feel he has control over you since he’s the sole provider. If you can see a lawyer not sure if your state offers benefits to unmarried couples but at least you have child support and have done your homework.

14 Likes

Yep… I’d be certain of it… call the phone company and ask if you can get text printouts for each number for the past 30 days.

8 Likes

My question is do you love him? If so talk to him see what’s going on. Go to a marriage council . Trust in god and pray about it. If all else fail get a lawyer and a job and get him for a good amount of child support at least you know you tried. But I suggest trying a date night with him and play roll sometime you need a spark in life. If you love him fight for him

6 Likes

he is definitely up to no good. probably cheating. dont depend on anyone. you must always be able to depend on yourself. if you love him and he loves you maybe you could try counceling and maybe it could work. always trust your gut instinct. good luck to you!

2 Likes

Trust ur instinct! The fact u rely on his income is no reason to stay. Get a job… Save as much as u can and when u have enough cash to get your own place … Have a conversation with him… But im sure the truth will come out before you need to have this conversation.

5 Likes

How about you tell him what you observe and just ask? He blows up? He’s guilty. He starts making you feel like an ass for even askin? He’s guilty. He makes it your fault? He’s guilty. He does anything other than listen and respond accordingly and move to adjust his behavior to be more open…he’s guilty. Bottom line…you don’t know for sure until you ask and get to see his reaction.

6 Likes

So my experience is, if he’s acting that way he is probably guilty. Recommend to him doing the partner phone switch for a day. If there’s nothing to hide he shouldn’t have a problem with that. My ex would have never switched phones with me for a day for the fact that he hid a lot of stuff from me. But my current boyfriend would do a phone switch with me any day without hesitation. And that’s what everyone that wants a committed relationship deserves. As far as him being the sole provider, get a job and support yourself. You can do it. I was a single mom for most of my kids life’s. It is possible. You’d be much happier versus always wondering what he’s doing. Good luck in whatever you choose.

1 Like

Undoubtedly you already know what’s up or it would not eat at you. Get a job and start banking your money to prepare for the worst. If the worst happens hopefully you will be somewhat prepared. Keep it cool so he doesn’t walk before you are ready to face the truth.

3 Likes

His actions certainly suggest that. These ladies are right. Get a job and prepare to take care of yourself so you don’t have to stay with him

5 Likes

My ex used to act weird with his phone, took it in the bathroom even for a quick pee…always called me paranoid/crazy…caught him more than once not being truthful. Exhausting and tired of the shit being one sided. yeah well we are divorced and I couldn’t be happier. Let him go! You will survive, with your kid…there is help. He doesn’t deserve you and your heart. I would leave.

6 Likes

I read this to my husband and we think he is definitely hiding something.
But there is no relationship if there is no trust. You say he provides for your child. Thats not a reason to stay. What you allow is what will continue

7 Likes

If he is doing all that. I would bet my last dime he is cheating. Wait till he goes to sleep and check his phone. But no ma’am i would find me some work and be gone.

4 Likes

Ask to see his phone. Straight forward. If he adamantly says no and starts an argument, he’s doing something on that phone he shouldn’t be.

If he says yes, and hands it to you, then don’t check it and tell him that’s all you needed to know to reassure yourself of the strength of your relationship.

1 Like

Yes first thing is to get a job and you won’t feel so dependent on him … I would definitely try to talk to him as well… I’m sorry but if there is no explanation for his actions chances are your gut instincts are correct…

3 Likes

Never be completely dependent on a man, puts you in a dangerous position. Get you some work experience and get moving because it sounds like hes definitely cheating.

8 Likes

Never, ever ever depend on the significant other! Their are resources to get out if you need too. But I would definitely bring up the subject immediately… his actions will tell you what’s going on.

1 Like

I think you already know the answer to that& that’s why you shouldn’t depend on a man’s income. Assuming you don’t work, you should get a job& save money so you could get out.

2 Likes

Sounds to me like he’s shakin the sheets. Talk to him and if the behavior continues you don’t owe a man the rest of your life in misery. You deserve to be treated so much better. Trust your intuition and pray. Secrets destroy relationships.

1 Like

Even if he doesn’t get defensive, he’s most likely guilty ! I’d take his damn cell phone while he’s awake ! Snatch it from his ass ! Look at the bill. Call some numbers ! Confront that crap. I did ! I’m a master at reverse psychology, men don’t understand that WE know everything :tipping_hand_woman:

12 Likes

He is cheating. I would strongly advise you to start putting up money every chance you get. For instance you have $100 for groceries put up $20. Get a part time job open your own account and start putting money in it. It won’t take long and you will hane the means to leave. Take it from one with experience. A man who is made to stay where he is mentally already will get mean. Let him go. Outside of a miracle from God he will continue to do it. I suffered it 16 yrs. I did what I’m telling you to do. Get your children out of there before it has a chance to effect their lives. You are worth more. You deserve better.

10 Likes

You can see who all he calls by looking at phone bill

5 Likes

As a guy, trust your gut. Not saying that he is, but you need to LOOK INTO THE SITUATION DEEPER.
That is from the heart. Good luck , and GODBLESS