My hubby and I are due for our 3rd kiddo in January. We have decided to wait until the baby is born to find out what it is. My problem is if we have a boy, he wants to keep his family tradition, and the baby would be the 4th. We had already had this talk before, and yes, I had already agreed to it years ago. Thankfully, we have two girls lol. If you cant tell, I really don’t like his name lol. His family calls him “Buddy” because there are already two others with his name. This morning, I brought up the fact that I would like our future son to have his own identity. He has problems with his mail going to his parent’s or grandparents’ house, and he gets his dad’s mail. Anyways, I asked him if we could compromise and use his name as our potential son’s middle name. I asked him to think of some different first names. He texted me after he left for work, and said he would not think of other names if we have a son because he thinks it would be “awesome.” It was hard for me to even say anything because I have known this is what he wanted. I was crying because I knew he would be upset. If he isn’t willing to compromise, what do I do? Name my child a name I can’t stand? Just to have to think of some nickname for him, so nobody on his side of the family gets confused? We have a first name for a girl that we agreed on. Why cant our son’s name be an agreement? Is it best I just bite my tongue and name our child what he wants?
Do you also hate the middle name? You can always have him go by his middle name.
My fiance and I both choose 3 names alternated them 1 through 6 and rolled a dice. It ended up landing on his favorite name which I don’t really like but it was fair. Loser,me, got to choose the middle name.
I think your husband has his heart set on it. He wants to carry on tradition and it means a lot to him. If I were in your shoes, I would let him have that.
We have a 3rd and, yes, it is confusing (Nick names and such), worrisome (with mail and whatnot) BUT the pride my husband has carrying on the family name is totally worth it
Why did you agree to it before if you hate it? Telling him he can’t continue the tradition is selfish.
We have 4 Rebecca’s in my family 3 have it as a first name with different middle names and one has it as a middle name, we all love our name. I can’t tell you what to do , I just can tell you about my experience.
If you don’t like it then don’t. Tell him it’s going to be the middle name or not at all.
I’m not settling for a name I don’t like either.
You probably shouldn’t have agreed to it in the first place if you didn’t like it. A son carrying his father’s name means a lot to a father and to a whole family too. I mean if I was you I would let your son carry his father’s name especially if it might be the only son he will have.
You already told him you would name your son after him. You should’ve been honest from the start.
If you agreed to it previously , I’m sure this is gonna be a hard debate . I’d let him have this one . The pride and love he’s gonna have will trump all this name nonsense . My husband named our first son , because I couldn’t find a name we both liked . I chose this currents pregnancy’s , also a little boy, name ! We compromised .
My first son was named after his father. My second son was named after my father.
I call both of mine “hey, stop-it!” Or “quit that”
It works lmao.
I’m in the same boat, kind of… I don’t want a junior but it means so much to my husband. His name is Michael so it’s not bad it’s just the fact of the own identity issue for me… anyway I came to the conclusion I would feel bad if we do have a boy and he ends up being our only boy and we don’t use the name. My husband would compromise and do it as a middle name but in reality he would let me have any name I want so I think I can do this one thing for him. Again realistically you’ll love him either way because he will be your son. I’ll probably just use the middle name we have chosen if it’s a boy!
Family traditions are hard. In my husband’s family, the first male grandchild is always named after the paternal grandfather. Ugh. Not a fan at all. But my husband and FIL would have been heartbroken to mess with such a long tradition (he’s Greek). So we compromised, and picked a middle name we both like. He goes by his middle name. Maybe something like that is an option?
I think its really cool when a family name goes on for a long time. My great nephew is an 8th I think.
I dont think you should have agreed only to take it back.
Why deny him the tradition. Maybe should not have agreed years ago . I love the traditions like that. Let him have this one. Do you really want to be the one to ruin the name sake and 4th generation
If you already agreed on it don’t go back on your word because that can make him feel like crap
My husband wanted our son to be Richard the 3rd. I was like do you even know who Richard the 3rd is?? Study history or read Shakespeare.
Anyway, I also said he gets your last name forever, plus he passes it on. Why does he need your first and middle name too? Give him his own identity. It was ridiculous. You’re creating a whole individual human, not a clone. If he spends his whole life having to correct people on what to call him, because he goes by some variation, that’s annoying and inconvenient. You’re growing the baby, and giving him his father’s last name. You’re the one that spending the bulk of the time raising him too, right? If it’s a name you’re gonna have to yell 300 times a day, should be a name you choose. Or you just tell him no. What’s he gonna do? If he puts you in a corner, tell the nurse to give you the paperwork at his birth. And fill out whatever you want. Tell him he can call the baby junior, but his legal name is yours. lol
The child is not only his, its yours too, so yall are gonna have to compromise on a name. But I agree, your son should have his own identity. Traditions can be broken.
my husband wanted to name our son his name i said no and picked the first name ans his middle name is what dad wanted.
A relative of was talked into naming her son after his father and grandfather and I’m pretty sure she’s regretted it on and off ever since. If you aren’t in love with the name, then come to an agreement on something you both love.
My so Is a seventh generation Lyall but after the 4th they changed it to middle names I think it’s still nice to have it in there and naming a child is about compromise between the two of you!
I mean, you did already agree to it in the past, it would be wrong to back out now especially if you didnt voice concerns before agreeing to it! That is just my opinion…
One of my boys has his grandfather name for his middle name. My other son has my dad and my brother name in his name. For my daughter she has my mom and sister middle names put together to make her middle name
My husband wanted to name our son TOOTHA. (wtf?) I wanted to name him Grayson. We compromised. His name is Grayson.
If you don’t like it, don’t do it. My sons father wanted to him to be named after his father. He’s almost 9 and I still don’t like his name.
Honestly this may be his only boy! I would say let him have this one… especially since u agreed to it already before… you should have been honest from the beginning.
Nope, he’s the one that has to compromise. You shouldn’t name your kid something you’d regret. He’s going to have to suck it up and decide on a name with you, he’s still included and his opinion matters, it’s just not his way or the highway.
If it’s a boy let the child have his dads name especially when you agreed to it years ago.
My son is 22 named after his father and is very proud of his name. His name means a lot to him. If he has a son he wants to carry on the tradition.
I love the tradition so IDK … Good luck
If you do not like the name, do NOT name your child it.
He nor you can just name the child what you want. You have to come to a compromise.
It is NOT selfish to change your mind or not follow his families tradition.
What if you switch the first and middle name around?
Lol I had 2 girls first and then a boy … he has daddy’s name I didn’t want it but this is huge to guys so I let him have it
It depends on how bad the name is! If you already agreed you are kinda stuck. There are so many “Ray’s” in our family that it’s crazy. We even have girls with the name.
Maybe a middle name you like and use that?
Remind him that all your kids get his last name (I’m assuming?) And that in itself is passing down a legacy. Its very important that both parents are 100% happy with what they name their child.
Imagine if your son grows up and finds out that he could’ve been named after his dad to keep a family tradition going and he wasn’t? Who knows.
In Islam we arent allowed to name the son by his his fathers name, but we name him by his grandfather and that tradition is the same, it’s very strong for the men in the family and once you break that, it ruins it for the whole family so how about this first son you name him by his father and your next boy you pick a name?
Even if you previously agreed on that, I think you should let him know you are not happy about it now. People change their mind, right? If he is really into it and you think it could be a hard debate, choose his middle name and make your husband promise the kid will go by his middle name. Tell him you are fine with his first name (cough) but you don’t want the kid to have a nickname just because there are other family members sharing the same name.
My son is a 3rd and wears it with pride .
We have like 5 Richards in ok family my husband an uncle on both sides I have one on my side plus my husband and our sons name is Richard it we call him Ricky, my son loves that he carrys the family name he’s very proud of it
My first son is a 5th but we go by a nickname that’s actually based off his middle name. My second sons first name is the name of my husbands uncle that passed and his middle name is my dads name. But my first son thinks its so cool he is named after his dad and all his paps and at 6 is so proud of it. I call them bug and bean anyway though lol. When there’s a tradition in the males side to have the first son named after the dad its very important to them to keep that name alive.
Pick the middle name and call him by that… or two middle names. Let him have this one, it’s super important to guys.
Honestly my husband would never insist on a name I really didn’t like (and vice versa). Not a popular opinion but you carry the kids I think your opinion should carry slightly more weight (like 51/49). In reality mom fills out the birth certificate so it’s your choice. Maybe I’m biased because I too feel each kid should get their own name and working in small town healthcare it’s a huge nightmare to deal with on my end.
You agreed, you always knew this is what he wanted. You’ve always felt this way, but you agreed still to do it. You could/should of been honest bcus this whole time he was thinking this was the plan, but now you wana pull the rug out from under him. If it wasn’t for all that I’d say he should compromise, but you agreed. I’d have one more conversation about it and see how much of bottom line this is for him bcus it could cause a negative shift in your relationship that lead to resentment. Also the name can’t be that bad if it’s attached to someone you truly love like your SO and child.
You don’t want to name your child a name you absolutely can’t stand? But you married a man with that name already, do you feel any less for your husband? I think I would pick a middle name I like and that’s what I would call him.
I’m probably gonna get a lot of shit for this, but it’s just my opinion.
Family tradition or not, adding numbers to the same name just causes a shit ton of confusion, especially for legal matters and later on in life. I get family pride and all that, but it’s just gonna screw the kid in the long run. I have a friend who was a 3rd and dad was the 2nd. Something went down with property being repoed, and the company that came looking for the dad took the son’s property instead because all the dude saw was the name and not the number.
I don’t see why you can’t compromise and make it the same middle name or something like that. My parents did that to me. I was supposed to be named completely after my grandma, but we ended up having the same middle name instead.
My dad and my ex husband were all named after their father’s. Legally they had that name, but went by their middle name all their lives.
I hate the tradition of carrying on names after a Junior… I don’t like thirds and so on. I wouldn’t do it.
Let him be the one who made the 4th. It’s not just about you because you “can’t stand” his name. That’s rude.
My husband’s family is the same way. Both his father and grandfather are named John. I told him early on in our relationship, before we were even considering having a child, that I would not be continuing the tradition for several reasons, but that he could have it as a middle name. He was mildly disappointed, but accepted that. That being said, your situation is a little different because you previously agreed to use this name, but I don’t think this should be held against you indefinitely. Years ago I used to want to name my daughter Naomi and now I don’t like the name anymore. Our tastes change over the years. This being a family name makes it more challenging, but your son’s name is something you’ll have to deal with for life and you have a right to choose something you like. It isn’t fair to you to force or guilt you into it just because it’s what he wants, tradition or not. Your both the kid’s parents, and something big like their name should be something that you both agree on.
My son in the 2nd. It’s tradition so there are lots of double names running around, some even 3rds and 4ths, but my kids dad was the 5th kid so he didn’t have someone else’s name haha… I don’t rlly like the name but we call him Henry and his dad goes by hank
Luckily I’m Jewish & its bad luck to name after the living. We name after the dead.
Go with family tradition and give him an awesome nickname. We have friends that are Butch and Spike. He could go by his initials. We have a DJ (Dartanyan Jacob) and a CJ (Carl Joe).
I would carry on the tradition. It’s not like you didn’t know what he would want and you did agree it to years a go. You might look at your baby when it’s born and fall in love with the name any way.
I personally had the opposite happen to me. If my husband and I had a boy (I didn’t want to find out) I wanted to know him after my husband. He refused and we settled using my husbands name as a middle name, it was not what I wanted but I would not have it any other way now. Just the look on my husbands face when they said it’s a boy and hearing my husband say the baby’s name made my heart fill with joy!
Try not to stress over it now. You don’t even know if you are having a boy or not,
You made an agreement and the baby will be his too. My husband is a 3rd and I already shot down the idea of there being a 4th. The closest he got was the last having his first name for the middle name. However, if you already agreed, you agreed. If anything, why did you agree when you know you didnt like it?
If you don’t like the name then change it. I would never name my kid something I didn’t absolutely love. My husband is pretty understanding but I feel a child needs their own Identity.
Honestly, if you agreed you should let him have it, it probably means a lot to him you could always call him by his middle name. Thats just my opinion when me and my husband first started talking about having kids he wanted his first born boy to be Henry Andrew, honestly i just don’t like the name Henry its old and I couldn’t imagine calling my baby Henry. Every time we talked about it he wouldn’t budge, Henry was his fathers middle name so it does bold significance. Finally one day he said Hagen which is a norse name and in some countries translates to henry so I agreed with that it is so much more unique in my opinion and a name i can live with. So maybe see if you can look up some alternatives to that name that can be translated the same.
My daughter has her Daddy’s name as her middle name, and my son has his middle name as his middle name.
My son has the first name of William, which makes him the 6th generation of first born sons on my side and the 3rd on his biological father’s side in family tradition. His middle is Glenn and that is what he goes by.
I’d do it but have my child go by their middle name
I hate this naming after their dad or uncle or grandfather crap… They are a new person
Why not give the child the first name and then you pick out a middle name that you love and call him by that name? So then on paper his name is carrying on the tradition your husband wants, but his name to you is something you like. And don’t let your husband talk you out of a middle name you love!! If he gets the first name and obviously you don’t want it, you deserve to choose the middle name.
I went to school with a kid whose nickname was “Three” because he was the third with that name… kinda cute.
My husband is the third
Let him be the 4th and you give him any nickname you want even if your the only one who uses it
I HATE juniors, the third, and so on. However, you already agreed to it initially and I could understand how that could make your husband upset. How can he trust your word if you go back on it?
Also, to everyone saying “just give him the name and call him by his middle name”, why don’t you just give him the family name as a middle and call him by his actual name? There’s literally no point to passing on a family name if no one ever uses it. Plus, I hate to be the negative one and I know this is more an exception than a rule, but I know people who have been given their dad’s name and ended up hating him and therefore their own name, which caused some serious depression for them. People should be given their own identity from birth.
I mean if me and my husband was to have a son his middle name would be a firth generations middle name ,🤷 but why can’t you just call baby by it’s middle name if you have a boy🤷dad’s happy and he has his own identity
Give the baby his middle name as the first & first name as a middle name !
Haha! I bug my boyfriend all the time about having a son and naming him George! Haha because him and his dad also have the same name! Except I was like were gunna name him George the third! Lol We are having a girl due next month!! Lol
Give your son a number after his name lol and make it so he has to write it that way! Could even add king in their! Lol or keep it as a middle name even or use a middle name as his first! Your allowed to do that as well! Or even change the spelling of the name even! Lol
You knew this and agreed, go with tradition. It’s unfair to your husband to make him change. Pick the middle name and call him that. A name is a what you call your child not what’s on paper.
Exmp- we just learned my grandmas real name when she passed every one and on everything it said Frances but that wasn’t her birth name.
Just tell him buddy was chuckys brand name of dolls. Should scare him.
My husband also has a family name and they all go by their middle name and it gets super confusing. So for our son we came to the agreement that the family name would be his middle name.
You agreed. You’d be wrong to go back on it now that it could potentially be a boy
I wouldn’t I cant stand renaming kids jr or senior or the 3rd lol it’s just wrong lol… I like giving a child a “name of their own” obviously someone somewhere will have the name but I like kids to feel like they have their own identity…
For some reason it is a big deal to some men to carry on the family name. I’d say like others give him the traditional name but you choose the middle name. No mail confusion that way and you can call him whatever you want. I did with my son and he’s five and loves that he has the same name as his dad even though we call them different nicknames.
Okay so my fiances name is Walter Gabriel Emmons. His father’s name is Walter F Emmons. EVERYONE and I mean everyone calls my fiance Gabe, like I didn’t know his legal name was walter for months lol. When we found out we were having a son he was super excited about having a name sake but not super thrilled about our kid being a 3rd or whatever. We chose to name our son Gabriel John Emmons. We opted for John as a middle name to honor my father and my mother in laws father who passed away when she was young. Maybe after a bit he would be open to compromise, maybe switching names around.
Both of my sons have their fathers name. My oldest is the third and my youngest carried on the tradition of the middle name being James. We do not call my oldest by his birth name. Come up with a nickname you love. I really didn’t like my oldest name and I still don’t but he doesn’t seem to mind it. And we call him Jay.
My husband is a junior. But his 2 little brothers has his first name as their middle name. THAAAAANK GOD he didn’t wanna name our son after him or this one that’s about to be born. I’d say revisit the conversation and just be honest with the real reason why you don’t want it. And you know he’s going to ask you why agree if you didn’t like it. Just make sure you have all your reasonings together. Have a few names picked out to tell him. I hope you guys can come to an agreement
Personally I don’t like carrying on a name which is why I would never agree to it. But you already agreed. Time to bite your tongue. Pick a middle name you like and call your child that. I don’t really love my first child’s name but we don’t call him by his name. The agreement was we would call him JJ
It goes both ways. I was adamant on the name choice of my first son. I refused any name my husband offered. I didn’t budge. So if it’s really really important to him then maybe it should be to you too. It sucks but, you can always call him by his middle name. Pick a middle name that you love.
Is everyone forgetting the kids already get Dad’s last name to ‘carry on the family name’? I think having it as the middle name is a good compromise. I think you’ll be sorry if you name your child something you really don’t like. Or as someone mentioned, I guess, you could give him the name but call him by his middle name.
I personally believe this is selfish on the Dad’s part, knowing how much you dislike the name. It’s a child you BOTH are bringing into the world. Need to come up with something you BOTH agree upon. Remind him he gets the last name, for ALL of your children. And if a boy, he’ll get to carry the name on.
If you guys caint Agree on a name then you both pick a different name and start there is not only his child it’s yours to and and if you have to you pick the middle name and he woint have a say so in it at all
Not to be mean but this makes you sound horrible. You agreed. No matter how long ago. Now you want to take that away? I don’t think that’s fair. & that’s coming from someone who went through the same thing. I wanted to at least give my son a middle name. But it was very important to my sons father. My sons dad never had his father in his life and although I did not understand why he wanted to carry that name on he told me his reasoning behind it. I won’t say I gave in easily but I came to accept it. Although I did tell him fine as long as I get to name the rest of our children myself. I would still let him give his opinion. I mean you married a man who’s name you can’t stand? What man doesn’t want their son named after them. The fact that you feel that strongly and negatively about your husbands name is unsettling and you just sound controlling tbh with you. I’m sure he probably let you have your way naming your daughters hoping that you’d give him that same respect and honor your word when it came time for his son. Let him take the win. Having a nickname isn’t the end of the world. Trust me I know. You won’t love your child any less.
Personally I hate JRs, for my son I used his fathers name as his middle name, at first his dad hated it but he ended up agreeing.
My husband has THE number one most common fucking name in the world. MICHAEL Brian SMITH. Hes a junior. he has had so many problems himself with his name, the most simple being receiving his dad’s mail and the most challenging one being that he went to court for something and they tried to take him to jail for a warrant someone with the same name had (that was crazy). When we first got together he said he still wanted to name his son that… in his mind it’s his legacy… he told me upfront. I said way back then I didn’t know if I’d agree to it. We had two girls. I basically got to pick both their names. I hated all his suggestions, wouldn’t compromise we fought so long and hard about it it almost made me never want to have kids with him again… Well we got pregnant with our son. My husband talked openly with me about why it was so important to him. He’s thought about it literally his whole life “it was his dad’s name and his name and one day it’ll be his sons name”. Honestly I tried to understand. We named our son the third… and I’m sure one day he will run into issues because of it, but I hope that he also carries that pride my husband does about his father’s name, and his grandfather’s name. That he feels a special connection his whole life with his dad…
I understand not liking it. And while it does suck cause you agreed a long time ago, it’s not like you signed a contract. In the end though, it’s not just your choice. Talk openly with him about it, why you don’t like it, why you want something different. Try to work with him to find a compromise he’s comfortable with because remember,
He’s the one giving up something so important to him.
My son is a 3rd and has the same name as his dad and grandpa. While the name is old (Robert) I actually love it bc no other kid has his name in class. It actually gives them quite an identity to have an old, strong, easy to pronounce name in these days where people pick any word and make it a name. His dad, grandpa, and my son all have different nicknames. My bf is proud to share the name and continue the tradition. I’m also proud to see the joy in their faces knowing the name has carried on. To each their own though.
I would never name a child after the father especially if there are 3 others. A child should have his own name. Honestly, you are keeping him from being his own person by naming him a 4th. Also, the mother fills out the birth certificate. You will have carried this baby for 9 months, you should be able to veto any name, period. You may have agreed to it in the past, but it doesn’t mean you have to stick with it.
You could agree to maybe use the first name, but use a different middle name and call him by that.
Know that’s not exactly what you’d want or he probably wants because it wouldn’t technically be the 4th, but I wouldn’t name my son something that I don’t like.
My husband and I spoke about that before having kids too… but I said no right away because I didn’t want that.
Nope. If you’re not I’m agreement you don’t use it. My husband and I have always said if we don’t agree the name gets tossed.
My husband is the third. He didn’t want our son to be fourth. So his first name is our sons middle name bc that’s how I wanted it.
I had the same issue. I insisted on an individual first name then my sons have 2 middle names. My son has ex hubs whole name as middle named
I regret not naming our last son Adam it’s his middle name you’ll just have to keep talking about it but honestly if it means so much to your husband to name his son after himself you should do it
My dad wanted a Jr but my mom refused. They compromised by switching my dads names. So my dad’s first name is my brother’s middle name and my dad’s middle name is my brother’s first name
My husbands family uses the fathers name as a middle name. Our sons middle name is my husbands first name. I like it.
dang all these “let him have it” you chose it
you married him
its not set in stone
my s.o. wanted a junior but after seeing our baby we decided not to
least tell him how you feel in detail… dont.let it be brushed off
stand your ground
We named our boy duke but it got denied in nz but they said they would except it as his middle name… we have been calling him duke since day dot… nobody would ever know it’s not his real first name. If you agreed in the past I think you should honor that…it obviously means alot to him you pick his middle name and call him that right from the start, win win?
Mine son is named after his grandad and dad and middle name but he also has mine dad mane as a middle name to we just have a nickname flea J or BJ and he does not mine my step dad is also has his name he feels special.
You have 7 months just chill