This is long, sorry, but I need the advice on a name. After getting married, I chose to hyphenate my maiden and married name with the intent (my husband agreed at the time) that when we have kids, they will take the hyphenated name. I felt really strong about this because after my father passes (god willing- a long time from now), the family name passes with him as he didn’t have a son. The same goes for my husband- he’s the last of his family name. We had our 1st girl; she took my husband’s last name- when her time comes to be married, hopefully, she’ll make the decision to hyphenate as well. It’s up to her, whatever floats her boat. This second baby (due in like two days) still doesn’t have a name set- first, middle or last. The plan was for him to have my hyphenated name so that both names could be carried on, but my husband now isn’t happy with the idea. I’m torn- I want to respect his wishes but dangit- this was the plan all along- I hyphenated for a personal reason, and he understood that once upon a time. Do I just cave and give our son his last name? It wouldn’t cause turmoil or divorce if I stuck to my gut and kept to the original plan, but I’m torn on what to do. I hyphenated for a reason, and we had agreed. Thoughts from other mommas??
Idk my name was Rhonda Lynn Hilt-Thompson before I married so I wouldn’t think it’s a big deal for it to be hyphenated.
Eh. It’s just a name. I’d let him have his way. Moms get their way so much more 
Stick to your guns, give your child the name you want, which is both of your combined names.
I hyphenated as well. However I would not have do that my kids. That a hell of a long name. First middle last last. Eventually they will only go by your husband‘s last name
I would keep the hyphen going. My maiden name is really personal to me also and I strongly regret not giving it to my children. Everyone is different but I completely understand and think if it was previously agreed on, the plan should stay. Stick to your guns. Its important to you.
Definitely hyphenate
You had let him know about the hyphened name, and you had an agreement. Plus your 1st already has his last name, so I’d definitely stick to the hyphened.
Use your maiden name as their middle name without hyphenation.
Don’t give up. You had this planned all along, you hyphenate! 
My thing is ur daughter doesnt have a hyphenated last name…why make ur son? I get it that girls grow up and get married etc but u do realize technically ur kids would have diff last names right?
Could you have your family name as a middle name? So its there. Its not fair on him to dictate like that at all. I also wouldn’t like my kids to have different surnames
IMHO. You are married, name all your children the same. If your named your daughter without a hyphenated last name, do the same with every subsequent child. If you want the maternal last name somewhere in the boys name use it as a middle name.
Remind him of the agreement and stick to it. You had the conversation. It isnt like you won’t be giving the babies his last name too.
I would hyphenate or do it as middle name then last name so both names are still being used.
Wouldn’t you want your 2 kids to have the same last name of same parents?? I say stick to your guns on ot, especially of that was the plan, but I still don’t see why the siblings wouldn’t have the same situation, otherwise make his middle name part of, or entirely, your maiden name ? I know you wanted it to pass down but maybe your child will continue that tradition?
You can give the baby 2 last name in Puerto Rico thats how we do it
Don’t cave, you agreed on that first and he can deal with that.
Why don’t you do middle your name and last his name?
Keep it hyphenated. If that causes real issues then you have bigger problems than a name. And since your first already has that name it would be weird if your other kids didn’t.
Can you use your maiden name as a middle name, and then its just one last name? But both names still get to be used 
I agree with the dad 
I would give him the same last name as his sister.
Stick to your guns, hyphenated the name.
Either way his last name with be in it,and technically you have the ultimate decision,married or not ,do what was planned or whatever you choose really but either way technically he will still have dads last name,he will just have moms to, it’s not to much of a big deal if the bigger sister has just dads name bc either way lottle brother will have dads name too just with moms added and as they grow you can simply explain why you wanted it like that . Goodluck in deciding mama.
He probably sat back and thought maybe he didn’t want the name 2 end so he wants 2 carry it on through his son instead of ending it with him. Both of my kids have their dads name. I wanted them 2 have his name so the name would be carried on but he wanted them 2 have my name but that’s not what I wanted
Personally I believe in taking a man’s name. But my mom was in the same situation as you, she used her maiden name as both I and my brothers middle names. It’s not a traditional name, and I actually like it, morrison
Hyphenate it who cares what he says
I dont get why the girl got his last name when yall had agreed upon the hyphenated name before kids even came into the picture. I know that typically girls loose their surname when they get married, but not all girls choose to take their husbands name and not all girls get married period… in regards to your son, I think he should have the same last name as his sister but that’s my opinion
It can be confusing when your kids are working with school and other officials. I work with 2 siblings who have 2 different last names hyphenated. Then thrown in mom with a different last name. Ah!
That’s ur baby my daughter gma was a nut case and thought I was giving my daughter his last name jm like are u joking we aren’t married and that’s my daughter ill never leave her as men usually do
Guess what he hasn’t been in her life since she was 2 months she’s 6 now. Big loser. I know ur married and it’s different but do what u want.
I’d want him to have the same last name as his sister. Cause they have the same dad. You didn’t hyphenate her name. His being like that, it’ll seem like they don’t have the same dad 
idk seems like it’ll be kind of weird to me
I agree with dad
It is a name. Not that big of a deal
Could you put your last name as a middle name at all? Then give him hubby’s last name
So your daughter has his last name but this child is a boy so you want to hyphenate it? Also question. Have you asked you dad what he thinks. Also I got married so I had my kids last name and you know what they are all girls so it made no difference. It sounds like your idea was innocent enough in theory. The kids should have the sam name period if they have the same parents they should have the same name. Father is right. Sorry. Hyphenating the name now will cause acceptance issues between your kids. It’s not about you or your family it’s what’s best for your children. I understand why you would be mad to a point. However giving a hyphenated name to a male child is too feminist. And as far as caisinga divorce if that’s your repo we then it definatley will cause tourmoil or a divorce just because your so adamant and on here asking about it will just cause more stress.
Now ask yourself if you knew wothouta doubt it was a girl wound it matter. If it doesn’t the. Your the problem in this situation. Hugs. Family name depends on a lot of different aspects don’t damage what isn’t broken. It’s not your fault your dad had no sons. Hugs. The man determines the sex if a child. It is what it is. Everything else is unnecessary drama
I feel like the hyphenated thing is more of a woman thing. You keep your maiden and married name as your choice. Now if you were not married to your husband and you two couldn’t agree on which last name your child took, that would be a different situation. Personally I don’t see the reason the child needs your maiden name. When you marry you took your husbands last name why wouldn’t you just give it to your children as well. I would have hated growing up having two last names but that’s just my opinion 
I hyphenated my name when I got married. My dad has passed away not too long before. I didn’t give any of our kids my hyphenated last name. Sometimes it’s a pain and it is so long. I’m with dad.
I had this same issue, except nothing was formerly agreed upon. Daddy had 3 kids from a previous marriage who all had his last name, so I gave our son his last name too so he can match his siblings. I’m the only one in the family with a different last name, and honestly, if we get married, I may keep my last name. He didn’t care who’s last name the baby had either way though.
Family names don’t matter.
There are many ways you can pass down the family name without making your children have two separate last names. It seems a little pushy to me that the boy gets a hyphenated last name and the girl doesn’t. It puts pressure on him from birth in my opinion
You did your part in respecting your family name, but it will eventually fade away as I’m sure the future wife/husband of your son won’t want to name their children with multiple last names.
Hyphenate and stick to the plan!
My family is 4 generations of men with me being the 3rd female born not married in…I kept my last name, gave my son my last name…we divorced as the father was horrible, but my new partner, has his moms name as his parents weren’t married at the time an his dad passed…so we decided ours would have part of every name played with them an created something unique
My husband and I both hyphened our last name so they match. My daughter from another father has my last name. Our daughter has his last name. But we have both last names.
Don’t hyphenate his name if your daughter’s isn’t. That’s confusing. I was the only child and my dad’s family named ended with me too. It’s just a name.
I had this issue with my maiden name… I did not hyphenate with my maiden name, but we made our son’s first name, my maiden name.
If you felt so strongly about hyphenated last name why didn’t you give it to your daughter too, to me it makes no sense giving your kids different last names when both parents are the same
Idk why people don’t agree with you tbh, because it was already agreed on, like they had this conversation years ago and had it planned out before they had kids, it’s not fair of him to all of a sudden change it now. I think you should stand your ground and do the hyphenated last name
Idk why this is such a big deal in PR we all have 2 last names. Fathers and mothers no hyphenate
You could always have your maiden name as the middle name for a nice compromise. Its unlikely that if your son gets married 30 years from now his spouse would take a hyphenated name anyway. So the name will stop being carried regardless.
Our son has my last name and the next baby will have both. My So is the last with his last name but I’m just not willing to give up mine and all my children will share my name that’s why this baby will be hyphenated. If you feel this strongly then hyphenate it. It is what it is.
I always thought the hyphenated was very weird and gave too much. I wouldn’t bother with it and it means nothing in the end.
What goes along with your or your father’s last name? Exactly.
May seem sentimental, but your children’s generation won’t know nor will your grandchildren.
Just give the kiddo your husband’s last name and move on.
Can your son have your maiden name as a middle name maybe? Its strange to me that your daughter doesn’t have a hyphenated name but your son would. I kinda think I would want my kids to have the same last name.
Keep things how they are. If one kid has just one last name, let it stay for the sake of the kids. As a parent of one with a hyphenated name and one with my husband’s last name, it’s really not that big of a deal until school starts. My oldest is a hyphenated name with my maiden name first and then his bio idiot’s name. Since I have my husband’s last name like my youngest, I constantly have to explain that they are in fact brothers and prove my identity. It’s to the point where I have to show my ID and marriage certificate when I go to the school for my oldest to prove that I used to have a matching name.
Give your son your maiden name as his middle name and then your husbands last name. That’s what they used to do in the old days.
My daughter doesn’t have my last name or her dad’s. She has her great grandfather’s.
I would stick to the plan
My son has my last name, and my daughter has her fathers last name. If you agreed upon it, you should do it
From personal expirence I can tell you the hyphenation thing isn’t ideal… I’m not telling you what to do just my expirence, My last name had been Day-Underhill my whole life and it really sucked having to say & spell it out for people in person & on the phone. And I disliked how unusual it was compared to everyone else. I’m in the process of legally changing it because I always hated it but to each their own.
Why wouldn’t you want your kids to have the same last name? Unfortunately since you let your daughter have just his, you should just stick with it.
I wouldn’t do it to your sons name when you didn’t with your daughter. That would be weird to me. I also personally am not big on hyphenated last names, but to me the son carries on the last name so if your father didn’t have a son then it’s over. I changed my names to my husbands and I wanted us to all have the same last name.
I have both in my name…but not hyphenated.
My personal opinion is that the hyphenated name doesn’t carry on either name. It is a whole new name all of its own.
My oldest has his father mast name my second has his father mast name (different dads) the younger 2 who has same dad as second son. Both have my last name
Just hyphenate it and remind your husband why
Both kids should have the same last name so if you wanted it one way for the first then it should be that way for any other child you have so they don’t wander why there is a difference
Do what you want. You carried this baby for 9 months. You have a choice he will get over it
HYPHENATE. I love my baby daddy with all my soul and cant wait to marry him. But i wish I’d passed down and hyphenated our kids names or just given them mine 
Can you give your son your fathers last name, as a middle name? That way the name carries on, but you don’t fight with your husband or give your kids different last names. I understand your frustration, and ultimately if it means a lot to you you shouldn’t just give in. It’s your decision. But I think using it as the middle name is a good compromise.
All I can say is hyphenated last names are LONG. I had a similar situation, although we’re not married, and I wanted my son to have my last name. I figured if his dad ever did the right thing and we got married, then I would change both of our last names to his. He threw a fit in the hospital & wouldn’t speak to me when I chose to meet in the middle and hyphenate it. I really wish I had stuck to my wishes and stood up for myself more and just kept it to my last name (now it’s LONG). That’s something to keep in mind- how long will it be, and will it be harder for your baby to eventually learn how to write it or say it? Also, if it’s different than your other child’s last name, that may be a bit strange?
In my opinion, i would keep all the kids the same last name. Not one have one and the other have two. It would actually cause conflict later on. If you want him to have both. Use yours as middle and dad’s as last name.
My parents hyphenated the girls and added my mothers last name as a second middle name. The idea they used was that typically girls change their last name and the boys give theirs. I added Avakian to my sons middle name and gave him his father’s
Anyway, I believe you should keep both names for your baby.
I love my super long name and don’t see myself changing it
I gave my son my maiden name for his middle name. My brother doesn’t have any of his own kids and there are no others family members left with our last name. I’m hoping my son keeps it as a middle name for his kids. My husband is the only son on his side that can have kids so that way we both get to carry on our family name somehow
Both kids should have the same last name so it doesn’t confuse or upset them.
Hyphenate it…
All my 5 have my last name. I never married and had no intention of having any of my kids with a different last name
Why do any names need to be carried on at all?
Your bloodlines will still pass from generation to generation
When I was born, my parents did not give me a middle name. When I married, my legal middle name is now my maiden name and I took on my husbands last name legally.
I think a good compromise is to give your son your dads last name as a middle name…
Also, gonna be the devils advocate here, but when you married your husband you ‘left your fathers house’ so your husbands name SHOULD be the name that is carried on.
I understand how you feel, but I am a strong believer in my husbands last name. I love him so much and am proud to have his last name and give our son his name as well. (Our baby is due in a couple weeks) my dad died when I was young and only had one son and ( my brother) has all girls. I get what your saying but everyone feels different.
its so frigging. complicated these days holy moly, I took my hubby’s last name but if I ever wanted to I can change it make to my maiden name if I ever chose to. give the baby’s middle name your name or hubby’s name the middle name. both my kids have a family name.for a middle name that mean something to us. but do you both agree on a name cause it’s just as much his baby as it’s your baby
My children don’t have my husband’s name only mine. we are legally married and I kept my name and my children also have my name. It is very important to me to keep my name going and my husband has a child from his first marriage with his last name. If it’s important to you stick to your guns. or you will resent him later.
I get what you mean my father passed away 38yrs ago none of his grandchildren except my 2 oldest girl’s carry the last name which once they marry the name is gone, when I married I had another 4 kids 2 girls 2 boys the girls are under their Dads last name and our sons are under mine Raika and I did it that way so my dads name lives on, Oh before anyone says what about ya hubbys last name being carry on, my husband has an older son plus 2 grandsons who will carry his name on so its all good 
I don’t know what the hyphen is for exactly, as I’ve never heard of it??? but i made the mistake of letting my girls take their fathers last name when they were born because, “We were supposed to get married”. Well we didn’t and he isn’t in the picture. Thankfully I’m in the process of getting it changed to my last name currently. My son has a different father and I refused to give him his father’s name because I knew we wouldn’t get married. However one of his middle names is his father’s last name.He is in his son’s life as opposed to my girls dad. I’ve told my current boyfriend that if we have a child before we get married they will have my last name. But if we are married first then they will take his name. The way I see it is if you aren’t married you don’t have to give the baby the father’s name. You’re not under any obligation too. You never know if they’ll stick around or not so why should YOUR child have THEIR name? Honestly though its up to your own preference. He agreed to do it one way he can’t back out now. Its not fair. It doesn’t matter if its “his kid too” he agreed on something and now wants to renege now? Uuhhh no
I have my son my fathers middle name! So my Dad is still about of his grandson!!! At the end of the dad u could even give your son your dads first name too as a jr or give him it as a middle name! Best wishes
stick to what yous agreed on xx both names are important 
So story time. Left my babies father at like a month pregnant because he was controlling. So pregnancy he was nonexistent but he wanted everything his way with the baby. Including the name. I caved because I was tired of fighting with him, and pretty much allowed him to name our son. I made one decision before my little guy was born, to hyphenate the last name. But honestly I resent allowing his father to pick the first name and middle name. It was unfair. If he got the middle name then I should have had the first name.
So compromise but make it something you both are happy with.
I would’ve hyphenated your daughter’s name as well. It’s much easier with school, drs etc to have the same name. As for this baby I would hyphenate. You’re carrying, giving birth & will likely do most of the caring. Maybe encourage your husband to legally changed his last name to match. I know it’s not the same as a child carrying on your family name. You’ll be creating your own family name.
I understand that it was your father’s name and it ends with him. Also you said your husband’s name ends with him. Don’t you think your husband would like for his name to continue since he did help make this child? Granted ya’ll had a agreement, but maybe he agreed to pacify you. I think a new discussion needs to happen with open ears and understanding on both parts. You may come up with something slightly different. Instead of a hyphen how about a shared middle name with your father or even use father’s last name as a middle name. Just without the hyphen.
I have 2 daughters one has her dad’s last name and one has mine, tho I wish they both just had mine.
You are both the child’s parent this needs to be a decision by you both you say you feel hurt he probably does too it’s about finding a compromise
Have you talked to your Dad about this? Maybe talk to your husband about allowing your father to pick you child’s name other then the last name. If my Dad were alive he would’ve loved to name his grandchild, he probably would’ve named him after my grandfather.
so my dad has daughters only & I’ve always had his name, when me & hubby got pregnant (we weren’t married) but I put my foot down & said my daughter can have his name but will also have mine too (to carry the name on) fast forward a year later we had a son he was given the same last name as my daughter double barrel (both our names). I wasn’t bothered about getting married but I did make it clear that obviously if we were to get married I would have the same name as my kids (would add his on) fast forward 3 years we get married x x hubby says he dint want to be odd one out of the family with his name so changed his name to match too when we got married!! We were a family of 4 with all the same name:star_struck: carrying on both names (if the kids choose to change or use one that’s up to them) fast forward 5 years later & we have another daughter & yes she just naturally became the same last name with no questions asked:smiling_face_with_three_hearts:
you are in your full rights to choose what name your baby has! I always had a different last name to my mum (which never bothered me) but my name is my identity & I wanted my kids to have the same too🙂
Xxxx
Although I wouldn’t have my kids with different last names, so would change daughter’s to match son’s xxx
A last name isn’t your DNA and Honestly it’s kind of silly to argue over it. Hyphenate it and move on.
Personally hyphenated names drive me nuts they are so long most people I know end up going with the last name of their hyphenated name just to make writing their name that much faster easier simpler what ever. Names now a days are beyond long and complicated but to each their own!! With that said if you guys had a deal then you need to talk to him and bring up the fact you had a deal! My sisters oldest 1 last name is a middle name because it worked that way… the other kids have dads last name because we don’t enjoy ours at all. Im very old school when it comes to the name thing I take honor in one day having my bfs name. To me doesnt mean my line dies just means the name is in the history the DNA is the importance. With this particular topic it really comes down to personal feelings and preference. You have to have that convo with him and talk about why its important to you again. You gotta do what’s right for you because you will be upset if you don’t and you have to live with yourself and ur kids name for the rest of your life… maybe a compromise is having his last name be the last in the sequence and unless ur kid is writing his name out for legal reasons just go with 1st and last hyphenated name to make it visually happy for him and easy for your kid? And when their old enough to decide they can do what they wish with it… I’ve seen that done b4 to and the kid did end up changing to their preference
One of my biggest regrets was not giving my son both mine and his dad’s last names. He has his dad’s last name and will be my only child so my family name won’t be carried on (his dad and I split several years ago) 
… if it was the plan all along I’d be doing it.
We agreed boys would have my husband’s last name, girls mine (I’m the last of the line and I kept my maiden name after marriage. The kids were fine especially since no one made assumptions about them in school and only realized they were siblings after being told. Though she said she didn’t like the last name when she was younger, she has kept it after marriage!
My children have hyphenated 1st and last name mine the there’s fathers I’m carrying baby number 5 and this one of to be hyphenated too when me and my partner get married in hyphenating my last name and he’s doing the same so nobody is left out 
If u didn’t hyphenate ur 1st childs name I would not do this child’s name
You carried that baby in your stomach for 9 months and you’re the one that has to physically bring him in this world, you should 100% get say in his last name!!!
You sign the birth certificate and put what you want on there. He agreed then and before about it you have a son and it’s not fair to change his mind now. Just tell the nurse to give you the paperwork. I know I sound like a bi*ch but if you guys in the long run would get a divorce. It’s easier on the mom to have the same last name. And In this case he would have both so easy for dad too.