Wow. What a tiny weiner he must have.
Id have him on every time he said it. Just laugh and laugh and laugh, loudly and rudely. Then shake you’re head, pat him on the shoulder and walk away.
I’d say talk to your preacher or pastor but I bet $10 he doesn’t go to church.
YOU teach others how to treat you. What you put up with you will get more of.
Make sure he adds you to the title down at the Register of Deeds that way the joke is he’s responsible financially for it but he’s acknowledging without court your HALF.
Go back to work girl and i wish you make more $$ that him
As soon as you can get that house in both your names! Refinance and make sure it’s in both your names! Big mistake
There are some things you don’t joke about. And if he sees you don’t like this joking subject but he still does it, he is being selfish and insensitive.
Run. Take half of everything you have and run as fast as you can hoof it!!
His joking is passive/aggressive BS and you need to stand up for yourself and tell him to stop it.
Did you laugh? Then no, it wasn’t a joke, and it wasn’t funny. Seeing that he STILL does it after you specifically tell him that it hurts you just goes to show me he doesn’t care about your feelings.
I’ve had the line “You wouldn’t have any of this if it wasn’t for me,” thrown at me and the “ well I pay for everything, I do what I want.” While I am pretty much isolated at home.
As a SAHM being told this by a man no less your “husband” is extremely degrading and disrespectful. Especially if YOU sacrificed your career, like I did, to take care of your child/children and did so based on a mutual agreement by both that it was for the best and the other would support you.
Your “husband” constantly reminding you that everything around you is “his” every chance he gets is abusive and toxic.
You need to sit him down and have a serious conversation about his jokes crossing a line. You have to flat out tell him, I kid you not literally spell it out for him “THIS👏IS👏NOT👏OK👏WITH👏ME👏” And tell him WHY. He’s not a mind reader. If he actually cares, you telling him how deeply he hurt you should trigger an “ah shit” response in his head and he should stop. Try to talk it out
If he walks all over you and is disrespectful to you on this, I can’t imagine how he treats you on a normal basis. If he doesn’t stop, honey it’s time for a marriage counselor. He doesn’t want one? Then a divorce lawyer.
Don’t let the fear of being a single mom scare you into staying in a toxic relationship.
Woah! I paid for our (my husband and I’s) house outright, I was in hospital in preterm labour when we bought the house. Whilst he didn’t expect to be on the title, I added him. Whilst I only gave him 1%, I felt that he should be on the title. This is OUR family home. I paid out his debts, and bought him a latex printer, as well as other sign writing equipment and tools, plus other thing for OUR home. Ive never said it wasn’t his (although when I was gravely I’ll and in multi organ failure) it became an issue with him, that he “only had 1%”, due to outside influences. When I die, my share of the house and assets (which I also purchased, but we have equal split and share) are going straight into a trust for our 3yo. If we split, he will get 50% of our assets. We only have one vehicle, which is on finance, but we are both on it and equally responsible, I will just buy a cheap, but reliable vehicle. (There is no public transport or reliable Taxi services here as we live semi rural/regional). We also discussed living arrangements if we split, and said that we would either build a granny flat, or purchase another property close for him to live in. At NO POINT, has it ever been “mine vs his”, and our sole focus is our sons wellbeing, happiness and future. After all, this is our son’s inheritance. We bought the house for him.
If we decide to buy an investment property, we will be equally responsible, if one of us dies, ALL assets will automatically go into a trust, with our son as the sole beneficiary of all assets and any superannuations or life insurances. This way, if the surviving partner happens to be in a new relationship, their new partner will not be entitled to anything in our sons trust.
This is OUR home, not “his or mine”, and I would never even DREAM of saying it isnt my husband and son’s home too.
He’s enjoying doing this to you!! I would give him a bill every week for what you do like the ladies were saying.
I agree with Linda Peach get out now. His comments aren’t a “joke” it is how he thinks and feels. I don’t think you should remind him that half the house, whether your name is on the title or not, is yours and half of all other assets including his super is also in case he tries to hide them. He will find out soon enough once you serve him property settlement papers.
This is coercive control, gaslighting and mental abuse. The experience of millions of women demonstrate this behaviour will not improve, it will get worse.
He sounds a little narcissistic to me. I wouldn’t put up with that bs. Being a sahm is one of the hardest jobs on earth!!!
It’s only a joke if both are laughing, he’s an arse, I lived with one. You stand up to him or leave , you will find the support .
does he know the cost of the work you do
Maybe he’s feeling pressure but tbh it’s a very shitty thing that he is doing. Money isn’t important
No your not being irrational. He needs to understand he’s underestimating your value. Remind him Colorado is a 50/50 state when it comes to divorce.
You’re not sensitive he is insensitive.
It does sound like gaslighting.
He is not treating you like a partner in my humble opinion.
Think about leaving and cutting your losses.
This is not kidding once or twice okay on the regular no.
He’s telling you without him you have nothing.
Het your name on that house NOW. Take the higher rate. You need to protect yourself. His passive agression will escalate. Hes getting you right where he wants you. If your name not o. House, is there will leaving it to you? Please consult an attorney . Your circumstances are NOT good . Please listen to us. We’ve seen this before. It will. Ot e d well. Stop being g his doormat
Not sure if this is an Australian post but you could jokingly tell him that after a 6 mouth relationship everything he owns is half yours legally, the house even a share of his superannuation.
Definitely gaslighting. Completely unnecessary and straight up jacked. I’d tell him you’re out, not joking.
He and you need to get the facts .look on line and see who can put you right.I think everything should be 50 50
Behind a joke is always some truth…start building your own for yourself.
Ask him to attend couples counselling with you and tell him you’re not joking… I believe he is using “humour” to cover a deeper issue
You aren’t on title for your own home? Very, very concerning. That would never work for me. Wait and fix your credit score or buy the house and refi in a year or whenever you can.
I’m pretty sure even though “he” bought the new house, if you are legally married to him, that house belongs to you too. Especially since he bought it while you were married and not before. I don’t think you are being too sensitive, I think he’s being too insensitive. There definitely needs to be a discussion about how his comments are making you feel, and he needs to open up as to WHY he is saying those things to you. I can only assume it’s because he hates his job and secretly wishes to stay at home while you go to work and “bring home the bacon”, or maybe he thinks you should be doing more work around the house?
There is a little truth behind every lie there’s always a little seriousness to every joke
The man has conned you and yes he is gas lighting you. You know something is wrong ; everybody else does too.
If you tell him it bothers you and it is not a joke and he doesn’t change himself, find someone who cares for you.
Your name should be on the mortgage title. This is the beginning of spiral abuse.
Your not being to sensitive. Don’t blame you for feeling like that.
Joking or not having put the house in his name alone could be a mistake if the jokes stop being jokes.
It seems to me very Antagonistic & Demeaning.
100% chance that this marriage is ending in divorce. She needs to start planning her exit strategy.
Many a truth is said in jest. My Grama used to say this. I think she was right
I would be really upset too. It’s almost like he’s setting you up in case things don’t go well down the road.
That’s toxic as hell.
He isn’t joking, that’s how he feels.
If he were joking he would’ve never tried again after being told how it hurt you.
It’s not going to get any better, it’s not funny when you are hurts.
Tell him EXACTLY how you feel and why. My husband says, “ Well you need to tell
Me. I’m not a mind reader.” Then he says I may need to keep reminding him because he can be forgetful.
Get it in writing if anything goes wrong you an child will be taken care of. Get an attorney they say their joking knowing they are hurting you. Do not let it go today.
If he keeps reminding you of this, remind him some states grant a total split of assets whether your named on it or not
What is he really saying now, since he has not been this way before.
That’s one reason I am single no man is ever going to tell me if it weren’t for me you would not have that and this sounds to me that is what he is saying in a round about way
When my ex husband told me he owned me and everything we had, it was the end of our marriage. I divorced him 10 years later.
He isn’t joking. He really feels that way…Zhe doesn’t care if it hurts your feelings.
Yup. He’s gaslighting you. Not too late to quitclaim house to the both of you so you can be on title. Bet he won’t do it.
Just so you know my ex for about two years would joke about wanting a divorce after two years he came out and ask for it we stayed married but two diff house holds till the last turned 18 went another two then he asked again I replied go for it
No its rude. If your together its both yours.
She can also get a job that she does at home. Anything to give your own money. Take control of the situation. He maybe joking and maybe not.
Well, in that case, its HIS dishes so he should wash them, HIS lawn so he should mow it, HIS laundry so he should wash dry and fold it, HIS dinner so he should cook it. All he said he wanted you to do was be there for the baby. When it comes to my husband, its him who constantly reminds me its OUR home, OUR car, OUR laundry and he helps, even does most of it himself besides working because he knows a SAHM is hard work. Especially being pregnant. So its unfair of him to treat you this way.
That is financial abuse sorry to say, it is a form of domestic abuse
Run far away it will only get worse I would be looking for jobs asap
He appears to be passive aggressive. Present him with a bill for all your services i.e. child care for his child, cooking, cleaning, laundering etc. just to name a few. Oh, yeah and tell him you’re joking.
Well a lot of people are saying gaslighting but like you kinda married him and you know him so is he the type to make a bad joke and beat it to death or is this a new thing that just started happening now? Only you know how he really is and I don’t know how people are making an informed decision without that info. Like he could just be immature or stupid but he could also be abusive like, you know him so which is it?
Bad mistake dear. If he’s “”kidding “ you he’s congratulating himself. Contact an attorney to change the deed , make him sign it and BE SURE ITS FILED!!!
If in Florida it doesn’t matter in whose name the house is it is still 50% yours
Fuck that. You can joke, but a partner should never joke about what you contribute to your household.
Let him 've McD’stay home and watch the baby. While you work or both work and share baby housework cooking ect
Write out everything you do in a day/week/month. Assign salary amount to each task and send him a billing statement. Should at least make him think.
I’m a petty bish, I would totes go get a job and then let him have half of the home responsibilities. F@#$ around and find out assclown
Hes on a power trip. I would start sending in invoices of all your “services” like daycare, cooking, cleaning…
I have a co-worker that ‘jokingly’ makes comments and says just a joke…but it’s gaslighting no matter what - it’s so obvious the thought was there and why the comment was jokingly made.
He doesn’t get to determine how you feel about being the butt of his “jokes”
The house must be put in both of your names!
In every “joke” there is a bit of truth. He means it. If a legal fight came along he would indeed claim it’s all his.
Tell the guy next door love his wife, if he wants to piss about. Like the song says 2 can play that game. Or you could just tell him to piss off. Simple
He’s gaslighting you. And he’s setting up a justification for leaving you.
Then why doesn’t she just go make it on her own and prove him wrong right?
Have you ever heard if its not funny to both of you it’s not funny? If the joke hurts someone its not funny.
If new house bought during marriage it’s community property even if your name is not on the title.
Leave. Sooner the better. Get out important stuff early. Then just disappear.
Your husband is gaslighting you. ‘Jokingly’ threaten him with divorce.
If he’s genuinely joking … then it’s funny … if u guys don’t work out it’s also your property
He’s being a Man… so don’t let him talk you down. Stick up for yourself everytime.
After a while , it’s “jokingly “ not so dang funny…
Takes two to sell the house. Just remember that.
He’s being passive aggressive and he is gaslighting you. He knows what he is doing.
Ignore the stupidity. If he continues even after you ignore it, tell him that you want to find a job or that you want your name on the house or something like that. If he laughs, he’s not kidding.
If you divorce him you get 50% so don’t worry. Lol
Itemize your time and bill him. Charge him for meals you prepare for him, laundry, grocery shopping and on and on.
Why are you still with him???
Well… have you gone to an attorney or called and visited a woman’s legal group to know your State laws on division of property?— you are going to need an attorney - get one.
Sounds like your husband has a dangerous personality problem and he is saying it out loud so don’t ignore it. He’s the type who will hide assets from you.
Can you get a job that will support you now and stash the cash?Have you gone through your paperwork and gotten bank statements and cards… located your assets?
What other concessions have you given him? Sexual? Your attire? How you speak in public? Your weight? Your hobbies?
Get out of your house, get a job, use the money for school for a better job… and tell your husband if he threatens you one more time in regards to finances you will divorce him… and you aren’t going to live with another human who has personal boundary problem… whether you love them or not… tell him that the continuation of your relationship is up to him and he will get his boundaries in order or he can find another woman to terrorize. If he criticizes your dress or laugh or anything tell him his opinion on that issue is no longer one of your considerations… you will depend on your friends, family or workmates for constructive opinions from now on.
Just jokingly go everything is yours until I divorce your ass then only half is yours. Then give him a big sexy kiss and walk away.
Sounds like narcissistic behavior to me.
Are you in a community property state? Check it out.
Don’t make any more babies !! He’s rude and isn’t respecting you by"joking"
He is a narcissist! They don’t have a conscience. Get your name on the deed of the house. Consult a lawyer for that. Protect yourself emotionally and financially. Get a therapist for you to help you deal with his abusive behavior and make a plan! This was my life and i had to get out of it. I was emotionally spent dealing with my own emotions and my kids too. Prayers for you!
You need to confront this very serious issue. Recommend family counselling because you are absolutely not being overly sensitive; persisting in such unkind “jokes” is controlling, abusive; and not healthy in any relationship. You might check your state laws; because, I believe in many of them shared occupancy means that the home is mutually owned, as is liability. You also should have complete knowledge and participate in financial issues, because you both are legally responsible for the accuracy of your joint Income Tax.
If it bothers you…talk to a lawyer about what would legally be yours…should you divorce.
He’s acting like a douchebag. The fact that he “jokes” about it so frequently means either he resents being the sole breadwinner or he secretly loves the fact that in his eyes, you don’t have anything.
I’d say to him I’ll tell you what then you stay at home and I’ll go work then. You watch his face after you’ve said that. Its so hard and it does make u feel crap…
Correct him.
Every single time.
If he says “HIS house”, say calmly, “OUR house”.
If he does it 99 times, you do it 99 times.
If he says, “If you had a job…”, calmly say, “I have a job. Are you suggesting that I put the baby in day care and get an outside job, Greg?”
If he says, “It’s just a joke”, calmly say, “I don’t like those jokes. Stop making them.”
That’s gaslighting. Find a job, and start your own bank account.
Gaslighting bad girl. Throw the whole man away
It’s got a name: GASLIGHTING… and it’s only gonna get worse! It’s not a joke and needs to stop now. Sorry, that sucks!
Girl if y’all are married it’s community property and if he wants to keep being nasty then divorce his ass and take the house from him.
You have value. And there are community property laws which recognize that value.
Please take steps to protect yourself!
If everything is in his name, you have no claim!