you need to sign an agreement that you own half of the new house and other assets. Meet with a lawyer and write it up now. Tell him how you are taking a job/career loss by staying home so he needs to pay you a salary (of course it is not a loss in other ways, it is the most valuable thing you can do for your child).
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This is exactly what my husband did when I stopped working and it pissed me off so I went back to work to shut him up he tells me he was just joking but I never want to be under anyone’s thumb again so I’ve always worked and earned my own money and I don’t depend on him for nothing just in case he decided to leave I’m ok can hold my own.
Personally I wouldn’t engage in his mindless bs…at the end of the day…you know your worth…the more you react…the more he does it…id just simply remind him that your valuable…maybe skip cooking and cleaning…only do you and your babies laundry…be petty…let him taste his own bs…
Jokes are only funny if both people are laughing. You ain’t laughing. He should stop & hear what you’re saying & stop trying to gaslight you & invalidate your feelings.
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It sounds like hes a Narcissist and you’re on a fast road to nowhere being left with no self respect, self worth at the end and will be left with no ability to fend for yourself. Make an exit strategy with legal advice from the CAB ASAP for a settlement before he turns your kid against you too. Either that or report the psychological abuse which is what it is! Good luck.
The only time my so and I joke about stuff like that is when it’s time to clean! Bc I still swear that dirty floor to sweep and mop is his and he will swear those dirty dishes are mine, but we both work full time and no small kids in the home. Like I said on my other comment keep a tally if he wants to be that way! You have a hard job and I think any stay at home parent bears the brunt of the load bc your never off the clock!
Tell him to pay you for your labor, at no less than minimum wage. House work, child care, cooking… Or tell him to do it all himself. He’s a narcissist who thinks he’s the most important person around. Marriage is a partnership. One is not above nor beneath the other. He’s not joking, he’s holding himself above you. If you allow it to continue, it’ll only get worse.
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He needs counseling. This will not be good for a child to hear. Check your state’s legal status for property ownership. He’s getting enjoyment from disrespecting you. Signs of a dangerous relationship.
This is the shit that my mother used to pull on me and my father would do to her. It’s vindictive and emotionally abusive. Tell him to cut it out or there will be consequences.
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“Jokingly”. Remind him that it wouldn’t look that way in the divorce settlement. (My advice is worthless I am not married)
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tell him he can clean HiS house then
and cook HIS dinner he buys
treat him that way back if he can’t understand your feelings, give him a taste
you are never over reacting when it comes to your feelings
My husband used to say his money was his and mine was mine until I pointed out that I put the funds together to pay Our bills. I did the bill paying and money managing and once when he complained I handed him the check book and bills and said you take care of it. He looked at it like it was a snake ready to strike and handed it back. Never complained again. We always owned a house and bills paid on time. He passed 7 years ago. I lost income but still kept my home. One of the bills I paid was for life insurance. It paid off bills and cars. I manage the mortgage just fine. We women need to know how to stand on our own feet. We tend to live longer and sometimes perfect marriages aren’t forever.
My ex husband used to pull that on me, too (it’s MY house, it’s MY car, etc). He’d say if I didn’t like it I could leave, so I did🤗
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Too bad my mom did almost the same telling everybody that everything is owned by our father and its all his. Then life bacame miserable when He started selling everything. The rest is history. Now my mom passed away. What my father got was nothing even the only person who accepted him that never demands anything that he owns. 
You’re married so by law, he’s wrong. It’s all 50/50.
If you want to be as petty has him, tell him your child is YOUR child. You’re the only one raising YOUR baby.
When you cook, say, “it’s MY food, I COOKED.”
He sounds pathetic. I’m sorry you had a child with him.
Sorry, but he sounds like he’s being a total d**k. My other half as a joke made a comment about how my youngest isn’t his son, and factually by blood he isn’t, but he’s the only father my youngest has even known. I burst into tears and he has never, ever made such a comment about any of my kids not being his since.
The moment you communicate something is hurtful that “joke” comes straight off the table.
How is your credit rating today? If it has improved why don’t you try to put your name on the deed of the house?if it can be done. I don’t
Like when he keeps saying it is his house. It might escalate from there
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Present him with the bill for your sevices… meals, laundry., housecleaning… babysitting 50% of the time as it’s his baby too… I saw a study on this once… the nonworking partners contribution turned out to be worth way more than the working partner earned…
That’s some real emotional abuse right there. He’s deliberately reminding you of your powerlessness and your dependence on him - it sounds like it’s either an ego trip or a way to reconcile his own worries that you could/would ever leave him. I agree w/ the comments on here - find a way to establish some independence, whether it’s taking on some part time work or work from home (eg mend clothes, do washing for people, something online such as transcription or other freelance work?) and make sure you’ve got an exit plan for you and your child tucked away just in case you would ever need it. It’s not what anybody wants to hear, but if he’s capable of degrading you like this, he’s capable of hurting you in other ways. The safety of you and your child are paramount. Lots of love❤️
You might feel better if you put the house in both of your names legally now that you ha e your mortgage.
a joke is a joke until someone doesnt find it funny.
if it’s upsetting you, he should respect that and change his attitude.
That would really piss me off!! It’s rude and he needs to stop! Women have been victimized by men for many years they had nothing, having someone joke that it’s all his - I would require that he go with me to an escrow company and he needs to grant deed the title so we are both on title. I would do that right away.
By continuing to “jokingly” comment while knowing he is hurting your feelings then getting upset because you’re upset is a pretty good indication you are being gaslighted. You ARE working by keeping the home a pleasant place for the both of you and your baby. You ARE working, raising his child. You ARE working just by being in a relationship. Something HE should consider is how much out of pocket expense would he have if you were to suddenly pass away - there is value in what you do. Get yourself into counseling if at all possible for YOUR benefit. Many churches have resources available as do women’s shelters and if they don’t they can usually direct you to get the help/counseling you need.
To me if he knows it bothers you then its no longer a joke. Me and my hubby talk wild shit about everything and we don’t offend, so it’s a joke and okay, but when something rubs that comes off the joke table. Im the bread winner and joke about him being my trophy husband or him about me being his sugar momma. Lots of joke about collecting life insurance, but it mutual.
I let my ex talk me into quitting my job to take care of family…we divorced after 37 years and now my social security is about half of what it should have been…I did get half of his retirement but it is still feels wrong.
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You may need to consult a lawyer about your rights and get some paperwork to protect yourself. I don’t like the direction this is going.
Start giving him an invoice for cleaning the house, cooking the food, baby sitting the bendy, doing laundry…
Print out some information on defacto relationships and your rights to what would be your in the event of a separation or if your married what you would be entitled to. Leave them in places he will notice them as it’s a form of verbal abuse and will only escalate over time. If he doesn’t take the hint with the info, point it out to him, stating how things should be 50/50
He is so not worthy of you! He is pushing you down to make himself feel better. Dump him!
If it’s his house he should clean it! Let the house get real dirty. If you complained about it then tell him it’s his house. By law it’s y’all’s house.
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Sounds like gaslighting. But I agree with someone who said to just act like it’s a joke.
Unless you’re going to go for divorce, it’s best to just make things work as best you can
It is still half yours if you divorce as a marital residence. Maybe a $300 consult with a divorce attorney showing the numbers you will get for being a SAHM will do the trick. Been there and done that. I decided to go with the numbers and not the ass I was married to.
He is not joking in my opinion. I mean he could be, but if that is his idea of a joke its extremely disrespectful and mean-spirited.
One bad joke I could underatand. Being that you’ve already told him it bothers you server times & he is continuing to “joke” like that he’s just being disrespectful and completely dismissing your feelings. Just because he doesn’t feel the same about said topic doesn’t mean your feelings about it aren’t valid nor should he act like that.
Don’t blame you, I think he’s a jerk for even saying this crap. If the shoe was in the other foot I bet he wouldn’t like it.
It is hurtful. No he’s a jerk.
Go and buy yourself something and another thing now since you have the house you can make him go to the bank and Tittle co. And have your name added. Oh yeah and I would insist. What would happen if something was to happen to him? It would be so complicated to get your name on the Tittle.
Although your name may not be on the house loan it definitely should be on the title to the house. They have nothing to do with other. I know several people with the same circumstances. This is how they handled it.
Well in my opinion I would say he is being very arrogant. When he doesn’t include you, and dismisses you and then jokes about it, he is actually covering up his feelings through humor. I would tell him to grow up. There is the time to be joking about things as we get older and there’s also a time not to. Boundary!! Stop saying that I’m not included in this home stop saying that everything is yours when it takes two to be in a relationship. Take conviction of your place in your relationship and see how he responds. A lot of the time when narcissists go against empathetic people it makes it very hard for them to understand so sometimes you kind of have to shove it down their throat. Remember what type of person you’re dealing with. Also these behaviors are learned most of the time so look at the group of friends he’s hanging out with and try to enlighten him.
I’d go buy a invoice book; Start putting times and charges, What time start cooking and cleaning kitchen, $25.00 a hour, House duties $25.00 hour. Child care $70.00 a day; exctra.Then next time he said it give him his copy, Tell him when i go back to work this is what you will be paying a cleaner and a cook unless then you plan on helping,
Your feelings are valid, and he’s invalidating them by saying you can’t take a joke. Joke or not, if you don’t like it then he should respect it. If it weren’t for you, he would be paying a lot for child care so your “paycheck” is that house and everything inside of it, making it both of yours. When he says it over and over again, even after you said something about not liking it, it stops being a joke. Jokes are supposed to be funny, not annoying or hurtful in anyway.
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Lots of good advice for you here. He is not joking. He is telling you who he is and how he feels he is in control. Talk to someone who can help you figure out how to get out of this marriage, your pastor, a lawyer, a good friend. He is trying to undermine your self confidence and it will get worse. Don’t walk - run away from this marriage.
This is why as a woman I won’t allow a man to provide for me. Ego trip. He thinks that being the provider makes him superior when a relationship is supposed to be equal. If he belittles you especially when you’re doing most of the child care, even if it’s his job as much as yours, then I suggest taking the steps to filing a divorce. If it’s possible, stay with your parents or a friend in the meantime. He sounds like an asshole and you deserve better.
Just start saying…“Ok from now on I’ll just cook MY meals and wash MY clothes then” and If he asks for s€x then say…“Oh MY body doesn’t feel like it tonight” and see how he likes it! He sounds like a selfish pig.
He’s not joking. Mine wasn’t either. Protect yourself, financially and otherwise.
I say , every once in a while go out on your own and leave him home alone with the kids.
Also, when he says those things just say “ what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is mine” , I learned that from my MIL 
You are married, the joke is on him 
It is probably a good idea to have a neutral 3rd party get involved and council the 2 of you. The situation is a stressful one for both of you and if y’all can’t learn how to properly deal with the stress and communicate then it will hurt the relationship down the line. Do not take the advice of people on Facebook as truth. A lot of them will project there own relationship on yours. A professional counselor is where you need to start.
I’m a SAHM and my husband has not ever said anything like that. Even when we had our first born when we were 21 and not married.
It’s always been “ours” and the money I made from my part time job (before we had our other two kids) it just helped pay the bills.
It’s our life, our family, our money because technically you are saving money by staying home with your kid.
Look up the word gaslighting. Sounds like what’s going on to me. You need to make a stand for yourself!
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There are a lot of men like this about just bullies it’s so old fashioned today it’s time they grew up.
Any man that can treat his wife this way is just not worthy of true warm love and affection , and I for one would be off !!!
Go see a lawyer immediately. Tell the Lawyer what your original agreement was. Ask the lawyer what he thinks. But I bet that because you’re married and you live in the USA and you are raising his and your children he’s got a rude awakening coming. The judge will split everything down the middle. If you tell a judge what he said in his joke, the judge will not only give you full custody and make him pay child support but also alimony. But be careful he may try to take his children out of the country. Do research and give him the facts and tell him you spoke with a lawyer and tell him what he said, he can let that sink in. If he was joking, then he’ll beg for forgiveness.
If you can stay home that’s great and tell him “ You do realize if i didn’t stay home that we’d have to put over $1000 a month away just in daycare or babysitting costs right ? Watch how fast he quits joking .
My wife and I both have always worked but opposite shifts to minimize or have no childcare expense. Yours is actually the best scenario followed by working opposite shifts.
I agree with All of the Above: inconsiderate disrespectful…etc etc…And…start billing him weekly at market rate for any and everything that you provide. Laundry cleaning cooking childcare sex travel arrangements etc etc. If he doesnt get the point…move out & on
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Your name should be on the title. Doesn’t have to be on the loan. You need to plan an exit strategy. This kind of crap happened to me. Someone warned me, I listened & I made plans. Believe me when I say…I’m glad I did.
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Tell him you don’t like the joke and that if he continues to make a joke and tell you that you can’t “take a joke” then you’re going to take action to create your own life such as get your own place and job. It may be extreme but if he won’t stop this then just imagine what he will start to try and get away with in the future and claim you’re just sensitive (aka jokes about your weight/cooking/housecleaning/ childcare etc.) he should care that the jokes bother you. Be clear and not vague “I don’t like that you tell me that I can’t take a joke, if you told me to stop I would and I feel you should not say that it’s yours when we agreed I’d stay home”. Just ultra super clear
Ask for a salary for all you do. So you have your own money. Sounds like my ex, it just got worse through the years couldn’t take it anymore so I said I want out.
Sounds to me like he’s gaslighting you he knows what he saying is hurtful he just doesn’t care when you call him out on it he’s going to deny that he said something hurtful and that you can’t take a joke and in all reality he absolutely means what is he saying regardless of your credit score being 25 points lower than his I don’t see why your name was not put on the house as well that’s ridiculous. In my opinion it seems like he’s making sure that if you leave you leave with nothing
He’s passive aggressive. Get a job, maybe pt to start. Maybe trade off daycare care with a friend.
Ask him to explain the actual joke, in detail, just so you can understand it. Then say you dont get it. Dont be nice about it. Bluntly say… explain it to me… then say nope dont get it. Being hurtful isnt funny
If it was a joke he would’ve stopped when you said how it made you feel, be aware of the signs, he lacks respect. Also, get your name on that house ASAP 
like yesterday
He is really treating you badly. Get marriage counseling or get out! He is not taking care of you, not supporting you! I am hurting for you.
Sounds as if there is actually some resentment there or building. Ask him outright in a non argumentative way and just say “the jokes have made me wonder if there is something about our arrangement that has been bothering you, and maybe we should talk about it honestly”. It could be that deep down he feels he pulled the short straw, or is worried about how much time he’s missing out with the baby. I feel his “jokes” are really him wanting to open up the conversation. Perhaps his defensive reaction when you do is because you are hurt and it makes him feel even guiltier. So take the emotion out if you can and ask him to do the same, so you can really find out what it’s been about.
I had “friend” very similar to this. I finally told her that her comments aren’t jokes. Jokes are funny, they make you laugh. These comments your husband makes are not jokes, they are narcissistic digs.
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Sounds like a jerk. He needs to treat you like a queen. Love you, honor you, make you the center of his world. This is how he should treat the mother of his child?
You’re arent overreacting. He is gaslighting you. Stand up for yourself, put your foot down and make him understand what hes saying is NOT ok and you will not stand for it.
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I am no expert, but this sounds like gaslighting. Which is a toxic behavior and a major red flag. My advice would be a major talk, or devorce.
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He is absolutely gaslighting you. Don’t stand for it. Get a legal document stating that half of everything is yours or get out!
Damn…this is going to hurt like hell, but since it’s " all about him", he can be left with just that, himself. If there’s anything that cost you your piece of mind, it’s to expensive, and to feel trapped makes it worse. This is no joke, pack you and your baby and just go. You’ll become the better person and stronger because of it. Situations like this never get better, since he’s definitely implying that he " owns" everything, and at this point he basically sees you being some noisy appliance that needs something done with it. Again it’s going to hurt like hell… and it will be worth it.
If you tell him it hurts you and he continues to do so and invalidates your feelings it’s gaslighting.
You need to get your independence. Your not gonna be able to handle those remarks much longer. He is in full control.
I believe that you are being trained! If he did not think this way then he would not think this way! Be careful not to become isolated from family and friends. Question everything and never split a lawyer!
Ask him how he would feel if you turned the tables and you started “joking” about things like “ Well this is MY child”. Any congrats on the baby sentiments are only meant for ME etc… because you are the SAHM. It might give him a ohhhh thats actually hurtful to say even as a joke
Tell him that the Judge will think differently when you divorce him. Community property is anything including wages and retirement that was obtained during marriage. Anything purchased before marriage after date of separation or by gift or inheritance is separate property. Just so you know where you stand.
you know you have more value than the money he brings in. tell him to take a flying jump at the moon. he would not have the life h has if it weren’t for you. it’s not a joke at all, it is a power play on his part… don’t give it any credence. tell him you will get a job and he can stay home with the kids and bet you my bottom dollar he won’t go for it. do not let him diminish you in any way…ever. never ever.
Tell him you are going to look for a job then. See what his reaction is. That is rude and you have stated before it bothers you. He should respect that. Also since you’re married, legally 1/2 is yours too!!
I’d either get a work-from-home job, or find a way to separate our finances. He’s testing you and is perhaps planning to exclude you from his life, once the baby becomes a toddler. This is awkward, and he’s not funny.
Well, have you thought of leaving him, as this is NOT the way it should be. Sounds like he has NO RESPECT for you.
One time is a joke, the rest is control. Would make me wonder how much he would enjoy paying alimony and child support
He’s demeaning you and it’s not funny. You’ve told him it bothers you, and he keeps doing it. Maybe it’s time to get a job and start building yourself back up, emotionally and financially
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Yes, I believe he is gaslighting and I don’t believe you are being over sensitive. This is just a ploy that ends up making you feel inadequate and allows the other party to take control. Another poster said to play the game. This is not a game. It’s your marriage and it’s not fair that mind games are used to drag you down.
I hope he at least put your name on the deed??? If not he’s gaslighting you. That would be a problem especially if he passes.
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Time to go to work, find a income. Something part time find someone to babysit. He not playing. He mean what he say.
Address it NOW so it won’t be a permanent disrespecting habit that only he finds funny!!! It’s NOT funny and If you try this out on him, he won’t think it’s funny!!!
My husband did this for a long time. I give it back now because all the vehicles are in my name alone because he never has time to go to DOL.
We did the same when we bought our house. You can actually go down and add your name to the deed on the house with out being on the loan. This was a huge deal for me because it was so hurtful. And I was told by someone that if something happened to him the kids and I wouldn’t get the house because my name wasn’t on the deed. It is a community property state but I wanted documentation that it was also my house. Maybe start giving him a bill for doing laundry, cooking cleaning, “babysitting”. I mean you can always say you were just joking.
You need to talk to a lawyer to see where you stand in all this , cover yourself if necessary now days you never know what they may do !
Tell him he owes you for child care/cooking/laundry/cleaning/etc. Design an outrageous bill and give it to him.
Kick his butt, go get a job and make him stay home with the baby. He’ll be begging to go back to work … kids and house are work
bad move putting the house in his name only. You should have covered your ass . That is a big deal.
Honestly I would start putting some money away somewhere. He sounds physiologically abusive.
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Simply put… jokes are funny, what his doing isn’t. Def gaslighting. And remember in the future if you have to question it, trust your instinct. You know deep down.
N def agree with a comment above stand strong n give it back 10 fold, MY BABY, MY KITCHEN ect. See how funny he finds it. 
Behavior of a passive-agressive male who still has the mentality of an adolescent boy. Get a lawyer who knows marital law. If you have no assets, he can leave you high and dry.
Well for 1 thing I would never have allowed the house in his name. My house is in my & my son’s name but my mortgage is in my name only. That’s BS that you can’t be on the deed. I was a SAHM & a few times after my late husband got sick he did or tried to do that stuff & no way was I letting him. My feeling this will only get worse it sounds like it’s all about control & because you are a SAHM you are letting him. This isn’t funny this is about control & he is controlling everything & NO just because you are a SAHM doesn’t mean you are an indentured servant
I would find out if your state is a community property state then I would consult a lawyer and even though your married it’s like a prenuptial agreement your 25 below credit score is a ridiculous you should have been on the house in the first place and then I would tell him to therapy he must go or out the door …No Mature man who loves his family would do this …period! He is hateful and probably is doing things you don’t even know about…to say he’s joking is like slapping you in the face…Out of the heart the mouth speaks…he really is saying what he believes and what he wants …pls for your sake and sanity get things in order and then confront him with the truth …and don’t be nice…
You keep saying he jokingly says. Honey the jokes on you cuz now he owns every thing and you have zero, zip, nadda.
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That worries me a bit because that’s how the abuse started in my marriage. Everything was a “joke” and it really wasn’t. It was him testing to see how far he could go.
You were a fool to let him put the house in his name. …wake up and smell the roses…
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It’s bothers him or he wouldn’t keep saying it.
LEAVE, you don’t joke like that because sooner or later he gonna starting to resent you for staying at home he probably already do but making it into a joke… my ex used to do this until one day I left… plus if he puts your name on a bill that he pays on time sooner or later your credit score with go up…
I am aware that most such stories are just stories posted to make people think, but if by any chance this is a real story or if anyone is facing similar situation then this is what I have to say:
"You are an adult, aren’t you? This isn’t the kind of advice you or anyone should be seeking from strangers. But since you have already posted it in the public, here are my two cents:
Seems to me that who owns what isn’t the real problem, but mistrust between each other is. There’s friction between you two and property isn’t the real cause of it, but some other underlying issue is, could be more than one. Both of you need to seek expert counselling and whatever the problem is, it needs to stay between you, him and the therapist.
Don’t involve others unless he is being abusive in a way where you feel worried about your safety. Matters like this one aren’t usually straightforward and must be dealt with delicately. If you ask people who are not expert in dealing with situation like this, you might get an advice following which you may regret later."
Gaslighting or not, which he is, it may be time to sit down and have an honest conversation about finances. Or ditch him, totally up to you.
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That was a bad move it being legally solely his house, sorry OP
Something’s afoot. I think what you’re really saying is that your spidey senses are tingling. My heart goes out to you.
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