Yeah, my ex used to do that very same thing… 17 years in, he meets another female and throws me in the street with nothing.
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Maybe you should jokingly ask him to switch places. You work and he stays at home with kids and all houseworks.
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Your husbands jokes are so funny that we all forgot to laugh!! Not funny, your husband is a dickhead! Charge him for meals, shopping, cleaning, babysitting, any little thing you do, you earn more than him!
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Sadly someone should have told you that your name could still be on the deed even though your not on the mortgage. That’s how my house was when we bought ours. My credit wasn’t good at the time. So the mortgage was just in his name. Please tell me you live in a commonwealth state… that would be a wake up call to him.
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Credit doesn’t effect being on the deed. I know you’re in love and I would pray you wouldn’t get screwed. But I’ve seen worse . Always protect yourself
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There’s some truth in his joking.
that’s how he feels and he’s trying to play it off. Part of why I don’t wanna completely be a SAHM. I’ll need at least a PT job
Divorce him and watch how much of that stuff is just his. If you bought the house while married, it’s yours regardless lol everything during marriage is 50/50
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Even if the loan is only in his name you should be able to be on the deed. Anywho I like the suggestion of sending him an invoice for your services. Or get a part-time job when he’s off and he can parent on his own for awhile. He doesn’t get to be a jerk because you’re following his orders.
You have every right to to be upset about this. Completely belittling and disrespectful to you. You are doing your part and work just as hard as him. How would he like it if you constantly rubbed in his face how the baby is YOURS because you birthed it and take care of it every day? Not so funny when the script is flipped. Marriage is a partnership and requires appreciation and respect. You deserve that from him❤️.
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That’s such a vile mindset of his.
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Personally, I would talk again to him and say that while he thinks it’s a joke it bothers you and can he not joke about it. Also, I would try to figure out why it bothers you exactly… I’m a stay at home mom and I become defensive or upset when I think he thinks I’m not contributing equally just because I don’t make money. We’ve got a much better communicating but it did take some time I’ve been a stay home mom for three years. It’s also a thankless job but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Also, like stated above I would look into getting your name on the deed. If he acts like that’s a big deal that would worry me and question has motives.
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It’s called gaslighting
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No, no, no. Maybe I’m controlling, but with both my first and second husbands I have stayed at home and I control the money. My husband sends me a bulk of his earnings and keeps an allowance for himself. I take care of everyones needs, including my own. Which means doing something for myself once in a while. If you sent him bills for the things you do in the house he’d be broke. Point this out to him. And if need be send his butt an itemized bill for your services.
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My husband did the same crap to me. I then proceeded to get a job & I haven’t heard it since.
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It would bug me too. It’s not okay. If you’re married it is a joint thing and everything should be shared and in both your names.
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That’s manipulative behavior especially because both of you agreed on it! Sorry that you are going through this!!
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Red flags all the way. Hes a narc.
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he is gaslighting you–and get the house in your name too ASAP no matter if it costs you more–you are not safe if he decides to leave you. Also, get a job even if it costs more in child care as he is giving you hints as to how he plans to treat you in the future
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Tell him to stop it and then to stop.gaslighting you, that’s a firm of abuse and isnt ok in any situation
Your vagina is not his. Hold it ransom until he realizes you contribute as well.
We bought our house the same way, for the same reason. My name is not on the mortgage, but is on the deed. Look into that, if your name is on it, I’d have that printed off and I’d serve it on a damn platter and ask him who’s laughing now. He’s disrespectful and he’s trying to play off how he feels as a joke and he’s getting a kick out of watching you squirm. Very distasteful.
Maybe he’s jealous of your time with the baby. Get a part time job give him a to-do list see how fare he gets. A taste of his own medicine set it as your goal even if it’s at fast food 
It will give you a feeling of self
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I’m a title abstractor. What you need to do now is get online or go to the library and find a blank “Quit Claim Deed”. You don’t need any attorney or any special help to do this. It’s very simple. He would convey the parcel from him (grantor) to both him AND you (grantees, and your names followed by “husband and wife”). You can fill all of the blanks on the deed in by hand if you want. Then, he needs to sign it in front of a notary - often libraries have them for free. Then take that deed to your county Recorder’s office, and they will record it, and they will have you go to the Assessor’s office so your name can be added to the tax records. People do this all day, every day for the same reason you guys did what you did. Often I see the first deed recorded with one name, and the quit claim deed filed immediately after. It’s BS he is telling you this, and it is even BIGGER BS that he brushes your feelings about it off. It absolutely IS gaslighting you.
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Do extra work on the side. I work a full time job and do a furniture refurbishing business on the side. I want to have a good life started now for when we have kids. Make some money for yourself so your not relying solely on him.
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He’s being a total ass
Glad you know the term gaslighting! Yes ! Maybe he is secretly resentful of you staying home. Tell him you want to work part time and he needs to pay daycare since he makes all the money
It doesn’t matter if the house is solely in his name if you were married when you bought it. I did that when we bought our first house. It turns out, it’s half mine anyway because of the law.
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He’s definitely gaslighting you and everything being transferred to just being in his name as you become a sahm is a control technique. He is asserting his dominance over you with these “jokes” and saying you dont have anything without him. Watch out these situations can turn physically abusive as well. I would lawyer up. Do side gigs for cash and hide it away for a rainy day.
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He should not be “joking” like this, being your husband!! And it should of stopped soon as he knew it hurt you that bad!! Divorce his ass! I bet most that stuff is yours!!
He’s being a dick. The end.
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Why are men like this
Tell him (if you are legally married) you can fight for HIS house, HIS everything and see how he will stop😂 i mean, in AZ it doesn’t matter if you are not in a loan, or title. You only have to be on the deed, or be legally married to have a right on it.
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My husband and i are similar. But we both work full time. And we both save our money for things we want.
I saved money for a new car and he understands its my car and HE ask before he takes it
He saved his money up for a used car also so it’s HIS car and i ask before i use it.
But with different items it’s different
I wouldn’t do laundry or dishes and say they’re yours, not mine. 
Everything in this house is “yours”.
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GASLIGHTING. Your feelings are valid
Put your foot down! This is a huge red flag
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Tell him: what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine!!!
Wow. What a man child.
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I’d literally stop doing EVERYTHING in the house. Let him know that you’ve decided since it his you don’t want to bother with it.
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Make sure you get your name on that house. That’s a big deal. My husband and I have everything in both our names. Idc if it makes it easier to sue us or whatever. It means no one goes without or gets screwed if one of us leaves or dies. My husband makes jokes about our money being his money, just to be fresh though. I ball tap him, and we both laugh about it. He knows that the only reason he makes the money he does is because I stay home and raise the kids. If he had to figure out how to pay for childcare (for 1 to 2 special needs children) at 1am while he was working in retail, he sure af wouldn’t be managing a chain of stores right now. Tell your husband that.
Or find a caretaker you like (or work alternating hours) and go get a job. He can’t tell you that you can’t work. Then keep your money in a separate account and let him pay for his house by himself.
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My husband says this to me too. I understand how you feel.
Ummmm NO Its Gaslighting BIG TIME!
The Very NEXT time he refers to ANYTHING as HIS, Remind HIM YOU ARE MARRIED AND WIVES ARE ENTITLED TO 50% OF MARITAL ASSETS, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO ANY and all retirement accumulated 401k, SPOUSAL MAINTENANCE that should shut his PIE HOLE!
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When he tries to touch you tell him your bodies “YOURS and its all you’ve got left to your your name” so he dont earn nearly enough money to have any claim to touch it! Explain if he wants to withhold “his” things from you, then u will withhold yours!
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They say that until they end up with nothing.
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Definitely gaslighting.
Id get a job and tell him to screw off.
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I guess I’m blessed. My house and all cars are in my name not his or both just mine
He’s a selfish man, very disrespectful…Sham on him…
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Nope! Add up the cost of childcare, upkeep of the house, and meal preparation and start charging him for that.
Get your name on that house too…this behavior is not on.
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I don’t know where you’re from, but where I live if you have a child together you’re common law partners which is as good as married, or if you live together a certain length of time you’re common law. So even if you aren’t married, you are in the courts eyes. So I’d tell him that regardless of what is “his” or yours or whatever, you can take his ass for half of it and see how much he jokes about it then!
Well then you take care of the kids and only that and let him take care of cleaning “his house” I bet he’ll shut up real quick
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Give him a bill. Here is the information.
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Just start “jokingly” talking about how the baby is actually YOUR baby.
Bc he/she came out of YOUR body.
See how he likes it.
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I’m a sahm too and we just bought a house. I’m on the title/deed and the loan is solely in his name. He can add you to the deed/title.
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“Jokingly” ask him how much of the house will be his in the divorce. You can also “jokingly” ask him how much of his paycheck he gets after a child support order.
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No I don’t like that AT ALL. I am a SAHM now for 2 years because financially it didn’t make sense for me to work to just pay for daycare. My husband never says its his house or his money or anything to that nature. Everything is ours. I dont think you’re being over sensitive either. He has to cut it out. And yes your name should be on the new house.
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Tell him to stop being an asshat. Ask him if he sees you laughing at his joke. He is putting you down and do not let him do that anymore. That is emotional abuse, no matter how you put it.
That is what you call a narcissist.
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Stop cooking, stop cleaning, stop doing his laundry, when he makes a comment tell him you are there to take care of (MY) baby not be YOUR maid. It is your stuff remember.
And just so you know everything bought after the marriage is considered joined even if your name is not on it. And you can also get into child support recovery and print out how much he would have to pay you every month in child support. Break down the numbers for him and see how long he keeps joking.
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My sons dad pulled this shit with me just to go to sell the house and find out my name was on the deed and he couldnt sell it without my permission bit him in the ass bevause I demanded my half of the money even though I was just the sahm at the time it saved him a lot of money
He is gaslighting you and then trying to turn it around so you feel guilty. Sounds to me like he discussed you staying at home and either lied then or has since felt the pressure of one income. Unfortunately some men just can’t admit they can’t or don’t want to do it alone. Have a talk and be straight forward. If you’re like me then getting a job means daycare expenses. Babies cost more. It will be hard to leave the baby, so maybe you can cut expenses in other areas to make up for your loss of income or find a compromise that works so you both feel better. I have found that miscommunication is so easy. Men and women think so different. Best of luck to you and many blessings 
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I’d sign the house in your name too & get a job… he’s gonna end up leaving you w nothing …
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He is being disrespectful and then gaslighting you for expressing what he knew you would express. It probably won’t change. He’s jealous that you stay at home, he has No Idea how much work goes into keeping a home and caring for a baby. Give him an itemized bill mid month and end of.
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it’s rude! It’s not a joke. He gets mad at you for telling him how it hurts your feelings:roll_eyes: wow talk about a serious piss ant move. I’d look for a job ask him to split daycare and I’d save a little nest egg because he sounds hinkey ,
. I’m not going to say leave but from the sounds of how he is. it’s possible that he would leave you with nothing and be spiteful.
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It’s mean!!! in the divorce you would definitely have the option of keeping the house with the kid or you get half of it when you guys sell it.
So I would just remind him that when a divorce pops up half of everything belongs to the woman too… unless there was a prenup
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He’s a narcissist and abusive and probably won’t change. I’d hide money on the side and then divorce him. If this is how he treats you now it’ll just get worse. And if you think he’ll give you anything more you’re in denial
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Maybe in his eyes but not in the eyes of the law, you are “partnered” and if you break up so do all the assets, also how much would it cost to have a live in cleaner, baby sister, chef, nurse, courier etc…
If it were me, the next time he jokingly said “it’s all mine”, my response would have to jokingly be “I don’t think the divorce court would see it that way”. And I would grin. And I would walk away.
Because whether he realizes it or not, you are an equal partner, and an equal contributor, in your marriage/family. Both of you are sharing a life together, and you are each contributing to your joint future.
If it bothers you because you are feeling “kept”, then get a job. Women need to know they have some independence, and that the choices they make are not controlled by someone else holding it over their heads. But consider why you chose to be a SAHM before you start trying to make decisions about your own happiness, and factor in what’s best for the family as a whole. Sometimes we all make sacrifices and compromises for the betterment of the family as a whole.
My advice? Tell him how you feel. If he continues to “rub it in” in a joking manner, tell him he’s a jerk.
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Id jokingly tell him divorce is 50/50 and then half of HIS stuff would be YOURS.
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Your feelings are valid and it’s very wrong of him to get upset at you because he hurt your feelings! I agree with what someone else says, if he thinks everything is his start giving him a bill. You’re the mom, teacher, nurse, chef, maid etc… Start chargin his ass for all the work you do in “his” home and see how he likes it.
Start asking to borrow and use things or ask for a glass of milk or something since it’s his, and then say your jist joking, do that a few times and maybe he will get how you feel
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Absolutely not okay! I’ve been a stay at home mom for many many years now. I’ve been through feeling like it’s his money, and feeling bad that I don’t contribute financially. He always reminds me that it’s OUR money. That I work extremely hard at home. That he couldn’t work if I wasn’t there to care for our kids. For a man to put you down like that, it’s totally wrong.
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His name only should have never happened. Both or nothing. I’ve been married 11 years and every time the house is brought up (hes primary) he says its his. It won’t end…
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Put a little money away in a secret account every month. You aren’t too sensitive.
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I agree with you , It is disrespectful.After You get married every thing is both.
You can be put on the deed of the house and not the loan. Regardless in a divorce everything is half yours and you would most likely be given the house since you care for the child
“No baby correction everything here is mine. I don’t work and in the case of divorce I get the house the car the kids and the dog…I’m taking it all”
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This won’t get any better. I know because my husband is the same. We have been fighting about these issues for nearly 36/37 years.
He’s gaslighting you. He is starting the breaking you down part of a controlling relationship.
I also would Start looking for work, never trust you finichial security to someone who treats you like that.
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Seeing all the comments make me feel like a shit person and like I have a bad marriage 
I always joke around with my husband about stuff like this.
He jokes that he pays rent so the house would be his, but I paid for everything inside and out for the house but his keyboard and mouse, so I just tell him the house would be empty if I moved 
He obviously feels some type of way about him being the sole financial provider even though it was originally an agreement. I’d get a job and make him pay for child care with HIS money.
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He’s gaslighting! I’d let him know that if he really thinks it’s all his you can divorce him and I bet the judge doesn’t see it that way!
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Get a job or start invoicing him for work you do around the house. He will soon have a change of heart
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At some stage you’re going to have to deal with this properly as your child is going to start hearing this and honestly your husband’s actions are of a poor role model…he seems like an insecure man…
Go get a job and let him figure out daycare. Big turd!
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Not appropriate but I’d want to punch him out
For Saying that
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Classic gaslighting. Proverbs 26:18–19
NKJV
18 Like a madman who throws firebrands, arrows, and death,
19 Is the man who deceives his neighbor,
And says, i“I was only joking!”
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If you tell someone you don’t like something they are doing to you and they continue to do it, that is a problem. Same thing at my work. If your joking with somebody and they tell you to stop or they don’t like it, you stop.
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Tell him he’s full of shit cause if you’re married it’s all community property, ask him if he wants a judge to clear it up for him and he can pay the divorce attorney since you’re a SAHM!
He’s gaslighting. Stop doing everything for him then he might realise its not all his. Youre not a slave and I’d be making sure I get my name on the house too. Goodluck with that if you ever break up, you’ll have no wjere to go
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Have him add your name to the house. He sounds very immature…
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If you’re married regardless if you have a job or not half of everything is yours anyway so tell him that
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Tell him that your baby is just yours, cause they lived in just your body. When you cook, it just your food cause you did the cooking. You clean the house so the house is yours. You washed his clothes so they are yours. Play his game back and when he gets upset tell him what he tells you. Give him a taste of what he does to you.
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Is the house DEEDED to you both? Not the loan, the DEED. If it is deeded to both, it doesn’t give a rats behind how the mortgage is done. JS
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Rude…hurtful… sounds like he enjoys himself. He knows it’s hurtful. Shame on him
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Abusive men often make jokes like this under the disguise of “just joking.” Remember, its not a joke if its at the expense of others. If you left him, it suddenly wouldnt be a joke any longer.
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You need to spice things up. Surprise him by getting a job and moving the fuck out of that toxic situation.
He means exactly what he’s saying… He’s definitely not joking because he keeps saying it… You’ll really find out when and if you try and put your name on the title … No worries though you are married so he won’t be able to much.
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I would draw up a bill for cleaning, cooking and childcare. Hand it to him when he least expects it.
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Ya see IM PETTY! I would wait until he gets home hand him a bunch of sticky notes and tell him to mark EVERYTHING that belongs to him. I would say ok ill take whatever is mine and go. And tell him by law if you can prove you’ve contributed to payments of the house then your entitled to whats been paid. And if the money of your old house and went to it too your entitled to that money also (if you contributed). IM PETTY but I love it. Call his bluff, if he loves you he will soon simmer the f down. Go for it test his love for you. You’ll either solve your problem or you’ll know his true feelings.
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He’s gas lighting you. My ex mother in law told me once, Always have a side hustle, always stash away money. Always have a plan B. My advice is get a job and let HIM pay for daycare.
His money is your money, and your money is your money.
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